The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy. She told me that she'd be happy to get me together with the girls. She was certain they'd want to see me. My bf had texted me this yesterday, "K said if she sees you she will never talk to you again. She's too funny." I'm glad that his ex-wife is encouraging me to still be in the girl's lives since my bf doesn't seem to see how hurtful he is.
My neighbor stopped by to tell me about a rattlesnake in the neighborhood and asked about the cruise. I told him I wasn't going and that I was moving out. He said, "Oh sweetie. God, we'll miss you around here. And, I'll miss flirting with you when you walk by my house to go to the mailbox. You are a great lady!" He gave me a huge bear hug, kissed my forehead, and wished me well.
A friend at work asked me about the cruise and I told her I was moving out and she said, "WTF? What is wrong with that man to give up a woman like you?" I told her I was the one leaving and that seemed to calm her down, lol.
Another friend at work, who's a bit older than me, offered me a room to rent and food and any prayers and support I needed. My boss sat me down this AM and told me she's giving me more responsibilities and she's putting me on a schedule for taking my series 9/10 so that I can hopefully qualify for a raise in the winter. She even texted me on the 4th to see how I was doing and she thanked me for my great attitude and energy that I bring to the team.
I've had people I barely know reach out and check on me. New friends from work who offer their support and kindness and old friends who stand by me no matter what. It's all of you here on the boards who have seen me sit on the fence for years with my XAH and who loved me through all my hurdles.
I'm completely covered in gratitude and it brings me to tears! Things will work out. They always have.
Thank you all for everything. I start moving stuff over the next few days. The electric is set, the address has been changed, and now I just have to keep taking it one step at a time, one day at a time!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I found when I began telling people I was separating and moving out, people came from all over to support and help me, It really was humbling!
I find that your postings now match the sweet smile I see on your Avatar!! Keep moving forward!
I will be asking my HP to show you some kindness over this move... hope it all goes easily!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
It is the universes nuzzle of encouragement, loving support when it is most needed.... And so deserved. I am really excited for this new chapter of your life. congratulations and thank you for sharing the journey. It gives me hope!
(((B))) - I add huge hugs from me too as well as continued positive thoughts and prayers your way....I am reminded that we are given what we need when we need it from the one with the master plan....keep doing you girl!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Glad you are being supported by those around you and things are falling into place for you. Wishing you peace and lots of happiness in your new home. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thanks everyone! I am where I am because of program and because of my Higher Power and my sometimes delayed ability to listen and learn from that still small voice which talks to me daily telling me to trust myself! I'm learning, but sometimes the process is slower than I'd like.
My bf's brother came by yesterday to pick something up and he gave me a hug and when I asked him if he knew, he said, "Yeah. Well I don't blame you. J is a pain the a** and can be a real d*ckhead. I don't even like talking to him because I can never have a valid opinion around him and he always knows better. We're sorry to see you leave the family, but I understand and will miss you."
His dad had also said something to me in our conversation that made me laugh. I had said, "Well I this gives J a chance to meet a woman more suited to his personality." His dad says back to me, "Honey, the only woman who is suited for J is one who's mouth is zippered shut. Because she'll never be heard and he likes it that way.'
He also told me that he was grateful that I reached out because he knew that my bf would have never let him know. His words to me were, "The only time that J ever calls me is when he needs something from me." His dad was choking back tears when we spoke. That made me sad but it was very telling as to how my own bf's family views him. He always liked to tell me that he was so much better than the rest of his family because he had a master's degree and that none of his siblings ever finished college. He used to tell me, "I'm the black sheep in a white sheep family" because they're all crazy alcoholics and I'm not. You get the point.
Anyway, a few friends are coming over today to help me box up stuff and my neighbors are going to help me take a few easy loads over to the house today. I ordered new sofas and area rugs yesterday. My neighbor came with me and we had a blast shopping. I officially am almost all set. Movers come Thursday and my furniture gets delivered on Friday. My bf and his kids come back on Saturday. I have the week off from work and I hate using my vacation for this, but I think it's for the best. Gives me time to think, heal, grieve, move my stuff, and get settled.
Hugs everyone! Happy Sunday!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Well there you go your inner voice validated! By his family no less.....you dont have to wonder anymore. Just hope the young people your boy, and the girls can find a way to understand what happened and how they CAN heal from this too.
Big hugs Bonnie..... sounds like you are getting validation - in many forms, from many places (including his family members) - and that is often additional encouragement that you are doing the right thing, for yourself, and your son. You loving you..... is the most important gift you can give to yourself. Yes there will be some bumps in the road, as our recovery is seldom a straight line - but you have learned so much about yourself in your own time, that I can only see a bright future ahead of you. Sending encouragement your way, and when the time comes for you to find another partner, please remember how valuable and worthy Bonnie is, and find someone who shares that same opinion....
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I think you all will get a kick out of the his most recent text message to me. He starts off saying, 'Hi. Are you working this week. Can you stop by the RV dealership and pick up my table and wheel cover? It's under my name. I'm renting the trailer to someone on Monday and might not have time to do it when I get back."
HAHAHAHA! The guys got balls, let me tell you. That was the funniest one yet! He needs a new girlfriend stat!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
congratulations and thank you for sharing the journey. It gives me hope!