Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...

ftrvr · ftrvr

My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...

TrishaG · TrishaG

Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...

emma-jade · emma-jade

Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...

misspaola · misspaola

Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...

stillsmilin321 · stillsmilin321

Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...

a4l · a4l

Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....

mjferg · mjferg

I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...

Nana Benny · Nana Benny

Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...

confused_sister · confused_sister

When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...

ANCWife+Mom · ANCWife+Mom

So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...

Canuck · Canuck

My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...

Italylover23 · Italylover23

I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...

punkin · punkin

Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...

Getting Stronger in OH · Getting Stronger in OH

Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...

gabigail · gabigail

I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...

Millop · Millop

Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...

andromeda · andromeda

Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...

Sooverthis · Sooverthis

Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60650109/alanon-step-2/

PaulF · PaulF

Maintaining contact with my alcoholic friend is an ongoing dilemma. While I am glad she contacted me and told me she loves me etc I'm still uncertain of how to proceed with keeping in contact. She is still drinking. At the moment I'm more leaving it to her to call me. I send supportive texts and always put...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

This is probably going to be all over the place, but...I mentioned in previous posts my AH has been in the throes of his addiction for 2+ years (abusing alcohol longer than that but out of control for at least 2 years.) He has been able to obtain good jobs but has trouble keeping them, not because they've f...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2c reading for August 3rd speaks about our use of denial and about how to look into the past without staring.It suggests that when we first found Al-Anon we may have used denial as a powerful tool to help us survive and to live life.Using the program and being honest, open and willing as well a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me. At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine. Is it sad that thing...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

LOL I thought I would begin a new post because it's been so long since I shared about this. My original post was on July 10. I had an interview and was asked immediately after if I could come back the next day or day after to be introduced to the other vp for whom I'd be working if I were selected for the job. I a...

serenity47 · serenity47

My AD has been lying chronically for the past four years. Often it is about things that are of no significance but in an attempt to make herself appear better more interesting then she believes she is. She also lies about the big things to. Just this past week she is again lying about another job loss...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

The man I have loved for two years has over 15 years of sobriety. He called off the relationship 3 times in the first year. After a solid year, he's done so again. Each time has been for seemingly small issues. He comes back but I'm not sure if this is something that common with alcoholism or is it just not go...

Tashaking18 · Tashaking18

So my father has been seeking help. He stumbled across this. "Living with an alcoholic wife" some tips and ideas to help cope. And it read this.....mind you my mother yes is an alcoholic. But she binges. So it's either every night or every few nights. Depending I what she feels deserves a dr...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi , everyone I was walking in the park this afternoon and since I always carry my camera and am ever trying to be in the "moment", I was fortunate enough to see a mother sparrow gently feeding her baby on a bench. It was a perfect reminder of how nurturing my HP is to me. Thanks for letting me sha...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for August 2 speaks about our need to be in control and to force solutions. It reminds us that the Second Tradition states that for our group purpose there is one authority-- a loving God. By practicing these traditions, we enable our groups to grow and remain healthy, and ifwe insist on h...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i am still struggling can not seem to get out of my funk and misery. I have had a bad month of dealing with highly Dysfunctional people on a case.That is done for the year. I Still have a tough caseload but not with family interference. I am going to rethink my two jobs when i get sane again. Now that the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Nah-nana-nah nana-nah nana-nah nana-naaaah! The offspring woke me at 8.50am shrieking like some kind of disgruntled spirit. "OMG MUM I WAS MEANT TO BE AT SCHOOL HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!" Now said offspring catches a bus to school so strictly speaking she doesn't require my participation to g...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all! I haven't been here in quite some time...for those of you who may remember me and my story, I just wanted to give you an update. My AH and I have been married for six years. He relapsed five years ago. There has been no physical abuse in our marriage, but the emotional abuse has been intense and gru...

IZ · IZ

Five years ago I went to an Al-Anon meeting. It wasn't for me. Those people weren't like me. My daughter was just a heavy drinker. So I never went back. I mean, she is married and has 2 kids and I've never seen her drunk. Sure, she drinks a lot and her house is always a wreck and she sleeps all the time. We bic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that from my experience, God is very important in my life. I know some have another name for their understanding. If someone needs to have a different understanding, I hope you are not offended by what i say. I just want to remind myself of the power of God & of prayer. Once someone gets to step 1...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	relate to today's reading in the C2C (Preview) I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...	Hoot Nanny	3	550	Aug 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Son in Jail (Preview) My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...	ftrvr	4	861	Aug 10, 2015 by Skorpi
	How to send my 25 year old daughter this site (Preview) Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...	TrishaG	9	749	Aug 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Frustrated and not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...	emma-jade	9	806	Aug 9, 2015 by hotrod
	Remind m not to say "bring it on" again...lol (Preview) Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...	missmeliss	3	726	Aug 9, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 8-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...	hotrod	3	547	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	haunted by alcoholic ex's path to destruction (Preview) Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...	misspaola	6	821	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	update on moving out (Preview) Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...	oceanpine	3	666	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	New-ish. Returning to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...	stillsmilin321	8	759	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	a years time. (Preview) Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....	a4l	8	634	Aug 9, 2015 by Mirandac
	it's time for action! (Preview) I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...	mjferg	4	690	Aug 9, 2015 by a4l
	Experience, strength, and hope from seasoned members about a meeting (Preview) Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...	Nana Benny	4	632	Aug 8, 2015 by Nana Benny
	This call may be recorded... (Preview) Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...	missmeliss	13	861	Aug 8, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 8-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...	hotrod	2	597	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Is there ever peace? (Preview) First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...	Lost and scared	27	1172	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	-1 Brother (Preview) When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...	confused_sister	9	695	Aug 8, 2015 by confused_sister
	feeling resentful (Preview) So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...	ANCWife+Mom	10	647	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...	Canuck	9	778	Aug 8, 2015 by Mattie
	woosah... (Preview) I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...	pinkchip	28	3609	Aug 7, 2015 by DavidG
	Manipulation x 1000 (Preview) I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...	SerenityRUS	12	891	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Success Stories (Preview) I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...	Italylover23	14	3324	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	it is a long road home... (Preview) Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...	Hoot Nanny	5	651	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Becoming more aware as time passes (Preview) My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...	Helpangel	9	664	Aug 7, 2015 by almostThere
	What's Your Favorite Al-Anon Tool and How do you Use it? (Preview) I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...	Iamhere	32	1187	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to leave but can't leave my dogs! (Preview) Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...	punkin	9	818	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	Responding vs. Reacting (Preview) Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...	gabigail	7	1814	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...	hotrod	3	666	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Finally followed through (Preview) Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...	Getting Stronger in OH	6	733	Aug 7, 2015 by gabigail
	My Son's Writings (Preview) Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...	Cathyinaz	17	967	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	C2C 8-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...	hotrod	2	540	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Dealing with projection (Preview) I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...	gabigail	6	863	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Guidance needed, already in 12 step program (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...	Millop	7	730	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Not sure what I need to say... (Preview) So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...	yanksfan51	10	813	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Having to move out (Preview) I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...	oceanpine	13	943	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH IN HOSPITAL AGAIN (Preview) AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...	YARNCRAZY	12	786	Aug 6, 2015 by pinkchip
	:-( (Preview) Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...	missmeliss	17	836	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Called police for a well check on XAH (Preview) Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...	andromeda	9	829	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	What is normal drinking? (Preview) I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...	pinkchip	23	1506	Aug 5, 2015 by Green Eyes
	C2C 8-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...	hotrod	8	619	Aug 5, 2015 by The1975jen
	Lunch. (Preview) This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...	missmeliss	14	851	Aug 5, 2015 by Jen61
	Frustated, angry, living with a dry drunk spouse (Preview) Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...	Sooverthis	8	3221	Aug 4, 2015 by RealitySucker
	This will be interesting.. (Preview) Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...	missmeliss	4	770	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 8/4 Do We Expect Too Much/Specific? (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...	Enigmatic	3	602	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope for Today August 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority f...	yanksfan51	8	770	Aug 4, 2015 by Debb
	Step 2 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60650109/alanon-step-2/	hotrod	1	539	Aug 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to maintain contact with an active alcoholic (Preview) Maintaining contact with my alcoholic friend is an ongoing dilemma. While I am glad she contacted me and told me she loves me etc I'm still uncertain of how to proceed with keeping in contact. She is still drinking. At the moment I'm more leaving it to her to call me. I send supportive texts and always put...	PaulF	6	697	Aug 4, 2015 by PaulF
	Anger, resentment, and fear/doubt... (Preview) This is probably going to be all over the place, but...I mentioned in previous posts my AH has been in the throes of his addiction for 2+ years (abusing alcohol longer than that but out of control for at least 2 years.) He has been able to obtain good jobs but has trouble keeping them, not because they've f...	RealitySucker	5	819	Aug 4, 2015 by RealitySucker
	C2C 8-3 (Preview) The C2c reading for August 3rd speaks about our use of denial and about how to look into the past without staring.It suggests that when we first found Al-Anon we may have used denial as a powerful tool to help us survive and to live life.Using the program and being honest, open and willing as well a...	hotrod	2	561	Aug 3, 2015 by IZ
	Honeymoon is over ... (Preview) I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me. At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine. Is it sad that thing...	SerenityRUS	2	832	Aug 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	One Drama at a Time (Preview) LOL I thought I would begin a new post because it's been so long since I shared about this. My original post was on July 10. I had an interview and was asked immediately after if I could come back the next day or day after to be introduced to the other vp for whom I'd be working if I were selected for the job. I a...	tiredtonite	6	730	Aug 3, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Constant lies (Preview) My AD has been lying chronically for the past four years. Often it is about things that are of no significance but in an attempt to make herself appear better more interesting then she believes she is. She also lies about the big things to. Just this past week she is again lying about another job loss...	serenity47	10	836	Aug 3, 2015 by serenity47
	Do I belong? (Preview) The man I have loved for two years has over 15 years of sobriety. He called off the relationship 3 times in the first year. After a solid year, he's done so again. Each time has been for seemingly small issues. He comes back but I'm not sure if this is something that common with alcoholism or is it just not go...	Lost and scared	14	951	Aug 3, 2015 by Lost and scared
	Alcoholic mother/wife (Preview) So my father has been seeking help. He stumbled across this. "Living with an alcoholic wife" some tips and ideas to help cope. And it read this.....mind you my mother yes is an alcoholic. But she binges. So it's either every night or every few nights. Depending I what she feels deserves a dr...	Tashaking18	4	720	Aug 3, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Good evening (Preview) Hi , everyone I was walking in the park this afternoon and since I always carry my camera and am ever trying to be in the "moment", I was fortunate enough to see a mother sparrow gently feeding her baby on a bench. It was a perfect reminder of how nurturing my HP is to me. Thanks for letting me sha...	hotrod	8	749	Aug 3, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 8-2 (Preview) C2C reading for August 2 speaks about our need to be in control and to force solutions. It reminds us that the Second Tradition states that for our group purpose there is one authority-- a loving God. By practicing these traditions, we enable our groups to grow and remain healthy, and ifwe insist on h...	hotrod	2	642	Aug 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Still struggling (Preview) i am still struggling can not seem to get out of my funk and misery. I have had a bad month of dealing with highly Dysfunctional people on a case.That is done for the year. I Still have a tough caseload but not with family interference. I am going to rethink my two jobs when i get sane again. Now that the...	Mirandac	16	859	Aug 2, 2015 by Mirandac
	PROGRAM!! (I got it early in the mornin' now) (Preview) Nah-nana-nah nana-nah nana-nah nana-naaaah! The offspring woke me at 8.50am shrieking like some kind of disgruntled spirit. "OMG MUM I WAS MEANT TO BE AT SCHOOL HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!" Now said offspring catches a bus to school so strictly speaking she doesn't require my participation to g...	missmeliss	4	1012	Aug 2, 2015 by Breakingfree
	It's Been a Long Time - Update (Preview) Hi all! I haven't been here in quite some time...for those of you who may remember me and my story, I just wanted to give you an update. My AH and I have been married for six years. He relapsed five years ago. There has been no physical abuse in our marriage, but the emotional abuse has been intense and gru...	stephaniej	7	723	Aug 2, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	My First Real Meeting (Preview) Five years ago I went to an Al-Anon meeting. It wasn't for me. Those people weren't like me. My daughter was just a heavy drinker. So I never went back. I mean, she is married and has 2 kids and I've never seen her drunk. Sure, she drinks a lot and her house is always a wreck and she sleeps all the time. We bic...	IZ	11	917	Aug 2, 2015 by IZ
	God never fails...just when needed He is always there. (Preview) I know that from my experience, God is very important in my life. I know some have another name for their understanding. If someone needs to have a different understanding, I hope you are not offended by what i say. I just want to remind myself of the power of God & of prayer. Once someone gets to step 1...	Hoot Nanny	4	654	Aug 2, 2015 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.