|
|
Having to move out
(Preview)
I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...
|
oceanpine
|
13
|
817
|
|
|
|
AH IN HOSPITAL AGAIN
(Preview)
AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...
|
YARNCRAZY
|
12
|
673
|
|
|
|
:-(
(Preview)
Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...
|
missmeliss
|
17
|
674
|
|
|
|
Called police for a well check on XAH
(Preview)
Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...
|
andromeda
|
9
|
695
|
|
|
|
What is normal drinking?
(Preview)
I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...
|
pinkchip
|
23
|
1365
|
|
|
|
C2C 8-5
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...
|
hotrod
|
8
|
504
|
|
|
|
Lunch.
(Preview)
This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...
|
missmeliss
|
14
|
737
|
|
|
|
Frustated, angry, living with a dry drunk spouse
(Preview)
Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...
|
Sooverthis
|
8
|
2831
|
|
|
|
This will be interesting..
(Preview)
Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...
|
missmeliss
|
4
|
661
|
|
|
|
ODAT 8/4 Do We Expect Too Much/Specific?
(Preview)
Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...
|
Enigmatic
|
3
|
491
|
|
|
|
Hope for Today August 4
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority f...
|
yanksfan51
|
8
|
653
|
|
|
|
Step 2
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60650109/alanon-step-2/
|
hotrod
|
1
|
412
|
|
|
|
Trying to maintain contact with an active alcoholic
(Preview)
Maintaining contact with my alcoholic friend is an ongoing dilemma. While I am glad she contacted me and told me she loves me etc I'm still uncertain of how to proceed with keeping in contact. She is still drinking. At the moment I'm more leaving it to her to call me. I send supportive texts and always put...
|
PaulF
|
6
|
573
|
|
|
|
Anger, resentment, and fear/doubt...
(Preview)
This is probably going to be all over the place, but...I mentioned in previous posts my AH has been in the throes of his addiction for 2+ years (abusing alcohol longer than that but out of control for at least 2 years.) He has been able to obtain good jobs but has trouble keeping them, not because they've f...
|
RealitySucker
|
5
|
704
|
|
|
|
C2C 8-3
(Preview)
The C2c reading for August 3rd speaks about our use of denial and about how to look into the past without staring.It suggests that when we first found Al-Anon we may have used denial as a powerful tool to help us survive and to live life.Using the program and being honest, open and willing as well a...
|
hotrod
|
2
|
439
|
|
|
|
Honeymoon is over ...
(Preview)
I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me. At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine. Is it sad that thing...
|
SerenityRUS
|
2
|
715
|
|
|
|
One Drama at a Time
(Preview)
LOL I thought I would begin a new post because it's been so long since I shared about this. My original post was on July 10. I had an interview and was asked immediately after if I could come back the next day or day after to be introduced to the other vp for whom I'd be working if I were selected for the job. I a...
|
tiredtonite
|
6
|
599
|
|
|
|
Constant lies
(Preview)
My AD has been lying chronically for the past four years. Often it is about things that are of no significance but in an attempt to make herself appear better more interesting then she believes she is. She also lies about the big things to. Just this past week she is again lying about another job loss...
|
serenity47
|
10
|
714
|
|
|
|
Do I belong?
(Preview)
The man I have loved for two years has over 15 years of sobriety. He called off the relationship 3 times in the first year. After a solid year, he's done so again. Each time has been for seemingly small issues. He comes back but I'm not sure if this is something that common with alcoholism or is it just not go...
|
Lost and scared
|
14
|
830
|
|
|
|
Alcoholic mother/wife
(Preview)
So my father has been seeking help. He stumbled across this. "Living with an alcoholic wife" some tips and ideas to help cope. And it read this.....mind you my mother yes is an alcoholic. But she binges. So it's either every night or every few nights. Depending I what she feels deserves a dr...
|
Tashaking18
|
4
|
602
|
|
|
|
Good evening
(Preview)
Hi , everyone I was walking in the park this afternoon and since I always carry my camera and am ever trying to be in the "moment", I was fortunate enough to see a mother sparrow gently feeding her baby on a bench. It was a perfect reminder of how nurturing my HP is to me. Thanks for letting me sha...
|
hotrod
|
8
|
638
|
|
|
|
C2C 8-2
(Preview)
C2C reading for August 2 speaks about our need to be in control and to force solutions. It reminds us that the Second Tradition states that for our group purpose there is one authority-- a loving God. By practicing these traditions, we enable our groups to grow and remain healthy, and ifwe insist on h...
|
hotrod
|
2
|
515
|
|
|
|
Still struggling
(Preview)
i am still struggling can not seem to get out of my funk and misery. I have had a bad month of dealing with highly Dysfunctional people on a case.That is done for the year. I Still have a tough caseload but not with family interference. I am going to rethink my two jobs when i get sane again. Now that the...
|
Mirandac
|
16
|
745
|
|
|
|
PROGRAM!! (I got it early in the mornin' now)
(Preview)
Nah-nana-nah nana-nah nana-nah nana-naaaah! The offspring woke me at 8.50am shrieking like some kind of disgruntled spirit. "OMG MUM I WAS MEANT TO BE AT SCHOOL HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!" Now said offspring catches a bus to school so strictly speaking she doesn't require my participation to g...
|
missmeliss
|
4
|
890
|
|
|
|
It's Been a Long Time - Update
(Preview)
Hi all! I haven't been here in quite some time...for those of you who may remember me and my story, I just wanted to give you an update. My AH and I have been married for six years. He relapsed five years ago. There has been no physical abuse in our marriage, but the emotional abuse has been intense and gru...
|
stephaniej
|
7
|
598
|
|
|
|
My First Real Meeting
(Preview)
Five years ago I went to an Al-Anon meeting. It wasn't for me. Those people weren't like me. My daughter was just a heavy drinker. So I never went back. I mean, she is married and has 2 kids and I've never seen her drunk. Sure, she drinks a lot and her house is always a wreck and she sleeps all the time. We bic...
|
IZ
|
11
|
788
|
|
|
|
God never fails...just when needed He is always there.
(Preview)
I know that from my experience, God is very important in my life. I know some have another name for their understanding. If someone needs to have a different understanding, I hope you are not offended by what i say. I just want to remind myself of the power of God & of prayer. Once someone gets to step 1...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
4
|
544
|
|
|
|
Thanks for being here
(Preview)
This is kind of long but I need to get it all out! My husband and I got sober in 1991, together, him through in-patient treatment and me through being required to attend therapy with him as part of his treatment, which led to me realizing I am alcoholic too. Recently we've had a lot of life changes involvi...
|
Karny
|
7
|
588
|
|
|
|
C2C 8-1
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 1st speaks about our motives for attending our first Al-Anon Meeting. It states that most of us do so because we're trying to learn how to get somebody to stop drinking.When we keep coming back we discover the truth that we didn't cause the alcoholism, can't control it and...
|
hotrod
|
3
|
417
|
|
|
|
A breath of fresh air!
(Preview)
After a few lousy day's last weekend and beginning of the week dealing with my A's nonsense we have had a great few day's drama free and I am grateful! I have focused on me and the kids and things have smoothed out. I know this doesn't mean that is the end of the drama however I am focused on the good that is h...
|
Holly09
|
4
|
555
|
|
|
|
No Spirit of Fear
(Preview)
I was asked the other day, wasn't I afraid to be alone? The question threw me a little because - of all the emotions/feelings I've gone through in the past years, fear of being alone just hasn't been one of them! Fear of being alone? Fear - of being alone in my peaceful house, able to do what I choose when I ch...
|
likemyheart
|
5
|
666
|
|
|
|
My alcoholic got back in contact
(Preview)
So finally after eight weeks she called. As I thought it wasn't good. She'd been locked in a house for several days and she'd been beaten. Sounds horrific.
What I'm beating myself up for was I was so preoccupied about how hurt I'd felt it was hard to be compassionate. She didn't ask for it to happen. Whe...
|
PaulF
|
9
|
442
|
|
|
|
XAH drinking around our son
(Preview)
Ok, so I need some advice about how to use program here. My son is 16 and old enough to learn how to handle his dad when he is required to spend time with him. I took my son to his first Al Anon meeting tonight and we talked about his father's drinking. Turns out there were things I didn't know, which I kind o...
|
andromeda
|
5
|
347
|
|
|
|
Happy Birthday Betty!!
(Preview)
Happy birthday and thank you for the amazing and selfless work you do. You are my biggest inspiration and I hope you have a wonderful day!!! 
|
missmeliss
|
22
|
791
|
|
|
|
C2C 7 31
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 31 asks that we really think about and use the slogan:"Living one day at a time". It points out that when we take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it a lot more gets done. The reminder suggests that when we catch ourselves feeling o...
|
hotrod
|
8
|
631
|
|
|
|
New to Al-anon
(Preview)
I have been attending Al-anon meetings for about 4 months now so I still consider myself relatively new. I hear some really sad and terrifying stories in my meetings and I sit there and think "my situation was so much different". My addict (family member) is in long-term recovery now and he...
|
creatvepro
|
8
|
687
|
|
|
|
Thank you
(Preview)
Apologies for my overuse of this forum!
|
PaulF
|
5
|
428
|
|
|
|
Hi All, I am new here.
(Preview)
Hi All, I am new to Ala-non and addiction somewhat as well. My sister is in recovery for 3 years but somehow now having an AH is a whole new ballgame. I guess it's the difference with living with the addict versus not. Anyway, my AH's "secret" was just found by me. He just spent 12 days (not nearl...
|
Italylover23
|
7
|
660
|
|
|
|
Heart shattered
(Preview)
Many times have i wanted to reach out here but not feLt brave enough or worthy enough when i can see you have your own problems to deal with and there are so few of you always giving your time and precious support to those in need and I feel guilty drawing on your energy and time when i should be able to help m...
|
rainbow
|
14
|
773
|
|
|
|
Different perspective ..
(Preview)
I do have to laugh we all got home however it was something. Spent the night at the airport I could have stood up a little more and probably gotten them to cover the hotel expense however .. you know it just wasn't worth it. LOL .. plus I figured well small airlines it's not like they are all going to talk to...
|
SerenityRUS
|
2
|
593
|
|
|
|
My own worst enemy ..
(Preview)
and I mean well however good grief ... I really set myself up to be my own worst enemy. Today I'm suppose to fly out and pick the kids up. I booked tickets ohhh way long ago like in June. I got to the airport just to check .. gotta love small towns I can just fly in and out at a whim Anyway .. same crazy lady I had...
|
SerenityRUS
|
7
|
636
|
|
|
|
C2C 7-30
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today, July 30( my birthday incidentally), speaks about making a serious commitment to our recovery and that "finding happiness" is an inside job. It points out that we often are committed to happiness and working the program but at the first sign of trouble we abandon...
|
hotrod
|
4
|
480
|
|
|
|
havent been here in awhile. . need tlc
(Preview)
Well, i havent posted in awhile, id like to say its cuz im doing ok. .Which for the most part is true. But i realize staying away isnt good. Ive taken a new job. Working in a mental health clinic ft and summers as opposed to my former school job. the environment and peopke are FAR better. . Being away from hom...
|
Theoceancalls
|
5
|
715
|
|
|
|
A BAD Mutha - Shut your mouth!
(Preview)
Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was s...
|
almostThere
|
5
|
657
|
|
|
|
Oh the emotions!
(Preview)
I am trying with all my might to use my program tools and conduct my relationships in new healthier ways - but my emotions are scared as heck. One thing I've realized is that I typically have had a partner and friends who are not very sympathetic when things are hard. My parents were pretty dismissive of...
|
Mattie
|
17
|
783
|
|
|
|
I'm so calm.
(Preview)
It just hit me. I have a fair amount going on...I share custody of 2 young kids that I'm present and engaged with, I'm navigating the emotions of divorce, drafted a legal separation mostly on my own, got our house repaired and under contract (fingers crossed the sale goes through), am getting my finan...
|
littlelionman
|
15
|
871
|
|
|
|
Does the disease affect behavior even before alcohol ever enters the picture?
(Preview)
Hi all, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is an alcoholic an alcoholic before they ever start drinking, and can behaviors/thought processes that occur earlier in the alcoholic's life be a result of the disease? My AH was talking to me the other night about some thought processes and behaviors that he...
|
RealitySucker
|
7
|
624
|
|
|
|
First meeting!
(Preview)
Ok - first meeting done. Glad I did it. Felt comfortable and had a good safe place with which to share and identify. I'll certainly keep coming back.
Naturally part of this is trying to understand my own actions in the situation with her. Sometimes I feel inadequate, sometimes I feel I'm losing my san...
|
PaulF
|
4
|
435
|
|
|
|
help me get patience please, quickly.x
(Preview)
Im struggling with a newish shortcoming recently, patience. What is it and how do i get it? What tools do i need? What causes impatience?
|
el-cee
|
3
|
482
|
|
|
|
HALT: I'm in a foul mood
(Preview)
I left my bf's house last night in a foul mood and I know it had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with me. He was teasing me about the fact that I needed to go home and take care of my dog instead of spending the night with him and giving me a hard time. I know he was only kidding but I felt a bit put off:...
|
andromeda
|
9
|
731
|
|
|
|
Needed all my tools today!
(Preview)
I made it to my class today, a little late so I had to squeeze in to a seat between 2 other ladies. One of them is a lovely smiling soul that I have sat with in classes before. The other was an older lady I've not met before who gave me a really dirty look when I sat down, enough to make me wonder if I'd forgotten to...
|
missmeliss
|
9
|
649
|
|
|
|
im still here...
(Preview)
...just in case you were missing me. Im not recovered yet, all better!!! Haha, i wish, still affected by alcoholism, always will be. A lifelong member of this freedom programme, i love so much. Its given me new elements of freedom. First freedom from the addiction of alcoholics and dysfunction, mise...
|
el-cee
|
9
|
612
|
|
|
|
I'm sorry from a 9 day sober ah
(Preview)
I kicked my ah out of the house. He has been coming to visit my daughter and is charming one minute and then whamo. He says he can only say sorry so much and that I keep nagging him and wanting him to feel bad. I have been going back and forth with him every since When I have seen him, he makes a quick face of he is s...
|
Helpangel
|
7
|
594
|
|
|
|
First meeting tonight
(Preview)
Ok. Preparing for first Al-Anon meeting tonight. All I can say is I'm looking forward to it. I feel so impotent at the moment so I'm relieved I'm facing up to some pretty unpleasant feelings. I'm glad I found this board and over the last few days they have provided me with some small comfort. It's still so...
|
PaulF
|
5
|
519
|
|
|
|
C2C 7-29
(Preview)
The Courage to Change reading for July 29 reinforces the fact that Al-Anon is a spiritual program and not a religious one. It points out that spirituality doesn't have to imply a particular philosophy or moral code. In alanon the principle of Spirituality simply means that we believe there is a Po...
|
hotrod
|
2
|
576
|
|
|
|
Cool happenings :-)
(Preview)
So many new things are coming into my life just lately. I blame al-anon! I'm excited today. Daughter was sick and stayed home from school. (That wasn't the exciting bit, don't worry). I couldn't concentrate on my work with her chatter and the TV playing all day so instead I had one of those days where you...
|
missmeliss
|
8
|
478
|
|
|
|
My sister went to her first meeting today...
(Preview)
My sister and I have always been best friends. We are a year apart and are adult women. Today, she went to her first AA meeting. I'm so incredibly proud of her... I didn't really think about how far her drinking had gotten but she has always been really wild when she drinks. She has a hard time maintaining c...
|
ChamHam
|
12
|
721
|
|
|
|
Hope for Today July 28
(Preview)
good morning everyone- today's reading talks about sponsorship. It is the story of a young person who did not have alateen available to her, so was encouraged to attend alanon. She then asked for a sponsor and the sponsor tells how much she gained in working through the steps and program with her youn...
|
yanksfan51
|
2
|
480
|
|
|
|
I need daily therapy to keep me mentally emotionally and spiritually well
(Preview)
thank God for life changing honesty my local meeting is helping to make me see the need daily to practice this program every day of my life. my feelings may get hurt " just for today" but I will try not to show it. i worked through hurt feelings and overcame a terrible thought I had about my hermi...
|
Quakeroat
|
3
|
568
|
|
|
|
Trying to commuinicate with an A
(Preview)
And the insanity that goes with it. How can one person do so much damage when they have only text 3x in a 5 week period to their kids? That is a redundant question do not answer that one .. lol. Oi. So I'm trying to figure out how to keep the focus on me and what is happening currently which is a move. First...
|
SerenityRUS
|
5
|
696
|
|