Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I went to my first meeting here in town the other day and boy did I have a good laugh at myself. I should add I had a good laugh with the God of my understanding. I was very proud of myself I was early 7AM meeting and as I watch the meeting fill I think to myself .. hmm .. there sure are a lot of men at this meetin...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all i know most of you do not live in England but just wanted to post on here that there is an AA convention with al anon participation in Liverpool England this Sunday. its at the Adelphi hotel liverpool city centre registration 9.30 am first al anon netting 10.30 if anyone fancys a visit to liverpoo...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

I feel a bit bad writing this. Some of you know my story already. Broke up a week and a half ago with my recovering A. It was the first time that I was angry and I mean ANGRY. He has a history of leaving (3times in the first year). I told him the last time that if he were to do it again not to come back. That was over a...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi again everyone, I just realized today's August 12 and not August 13. As a result of that mistake I posted an incorrect Courage to Change reading today. I am sorry for the confusion and here is a brief explanation of today's readingThe C2C reading for August 12 speaks about the third step and act...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for Thirsday, August 13 speaks about our habit of placing people on a pedestal--especially our sponsor. The reading explains that the answers that we receive from each others, including our sponsors are merely the experience, strength and hope of the person who has worked the p...

CoMom2010 · CoMom2010

Hello, here are my stats and thoughts tonight: learned Daughter (29) had alcohol problem 5 years ago during her Destination Wedding. they split 1 year later, she's full blown Alchie now, DUI, interlock, job losses during peak binges. i have had her live with me on & off to "regroup" .....

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone! Today's reading is about the realization that Alanon brings- 'we are not alone'. The first time someone offered that phrase to me it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. Living with alcoholism-- as a child in an alcoholic home, and an adult in an alcoholic marriage was so is...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So im not sure if what about to post belongs here or not but im needing some encouragement and needed to turn somewhere. Fir the first time in a long time ive made decisions in my life fir me. . And yet im feeling worse than ever. Let me re cap, i finally left a job that although afforded me a fabulous schedule...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon asks some questions that serve as an effective reset when I find myself struggling with negative thoughts and feelings. The AlAnon program is not a magic pill that miraculously and permanently removes our troubled thoughts. The page notes that even when we'...

iceland333 · iceland333

I'm a deeply insecure person, with severe self-esteem issues. I have social anxiety and phobia and I've developed very codependent behavior throughout the years. So I'm basically a mess. There's a long, painful history that has pushed me onto this path, but I accept and realize that I'm ultimate...

runningwife · runningwife

Every, and I mean every, fight we have, it ends up being my fault. The fact he showed up at my company picnic and created a scene was fault. He is sad because it's my fault. I won't have sex with him and that's my fault. I'm creating attitudes in our children against him and that is my fault. Is it? Is there a ch...

glad · glad

Well dear friends first let me say hello! I've been away from this board for about 6 weeks or so. In way of excuse, I have been really messed up so much so that I couldn't even really come here to describe. being an alonon is not just about when we live with alcoholics I'm a true people pleaser to the point th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ha! Not sure what's going on with the whole cosmic order of things but it really seems that my HP has decided it's time to clear up all of the "stuff" surrounding my ex husband, one way or another. This Sunday daughter has a school event and so I am to take her to his house on friday night and then m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 10 speaks about clutter and how, as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism , many of us develop destructive tools to live by. Some are expressed in our housekeeping, such as clutter , shopping, obsessively cleaning, etc. It points out the clutter does not ha...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Made it all the way to Ft Worth, Texas .. LOL. It's been an adventure already which those who know me know that is always the case. Started at 2PM Saturday and literally at about 4AM Sunday morning decided that it might be a good idea to stop we were about 130 miles outside of Dallas and I just couldn't go a...

runningwife · runningwife

I am so anger and distrustful of the AH. Does it ever go away?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...

ftrvr · ftrvr

My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...

TrishaG · TrishaG

Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...

emma-jade · emma-jade

Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...

misspaola · misspaola

Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...

stillsmilin321 · stillsmilin321

Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...

a4l · a4l

Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....

mjferg · mjferg

I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...

Nana Benny · Nana Benny

Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...

confused_sister · confused_sister

When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...

ANCWife+Mom · ANCWife+Mom

So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...

Canuck · Canuck

My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...

Italylover23 · Italylover23

I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...

punkin · punkin

Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...

Getting Stronger in OH · Getting Stronger in OH

Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...

gabigail · gabigail

I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...

Millop · Millop

Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...

andromeda · andromeda

Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...

Sooverthis · Sooverthis

Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Was alcohol to blame for his good parenting? sigh (Preview) Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...	EarlyBird	4	704	Aug 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	First meeting in new town!! (Preview) So I went to my first meeting here in town the other day and boy did I have a good laugh at myself. I should add I had a good laugh with the God of my understanding. I was very proud of myself I was early 7AM meeting and as I watch the meeting fill I think to myself .. hmm .. there sure are a lot of men at this meetin...	SerenityRUS	3	671	Aug 13, 2015 by Debb
	Convention (Preview) Hi all i know most of you do not live in England but just wanted to post on here that there is an AA convention with al anon participation in Liverpool England this Sunday. its at the Adelphi hotel liverpool city centre registration 9.30 am first al anon netting 10.30 if anyone fancys a visit to liverpoo...	Tracy	0	422	Aug 13, 2015 by Tracy
	Needy again (Preview) I feel a bit bad writing this. Some of you know my story already. Broke up a week and a half ago with my recovering A. It was the first time that I was angry and I mean ANGRY. He has a history of leaving (3times in the first year). I told him the last time that if he were to do it again not to come back. That was over a...	Lost and scared	5	704	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 8-12 (Preview) Hi again everyone, I just realized today's August 12 and not August 13. As a result of that mistake I posted an incorrect Courage to Change reading today. I am sorry for the confusion and here is a brief explanation of today's readingThe C2C reading for August 12 speaks about the third step and act...	hotrod	5	657	Aug 12, 2015 by gillygilly
	C2C 8-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for Thirsday, August 13 speaks about our habit of placing people on a pedestal--especially our sponsor. The reading explains that the answers that we receive from each others, including our sponsors are merely the experience, strength and hope of the person who has worked the p...	hotrod	2	653	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	New Member: Dealing with Alcoholic Daughter (Preview) Hello, here are my stats and thoughts tonight: learned Daughter (29) had alcohol problem 5 years ago during her Destination Wedding. they split 1 year later, she's full blown Alchie now, DUI, interlock, job losses during peak binges. i have had her live with me on & off to "regroup" .....	CoMom2010	12	853	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone! Today's reading is about the realization that Alanon brings- 'we are not alone'. The first time someone offered that phrase to me it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. Living with alcoholism-- as a child in an alcoholic home, and an adult in an alcoholic marriage was so is...	yanksfan51	4	685	Aug 12, 2015 by stillsmilin321
	what happened to me? (Preview) So im not sure if what about to post belongs here or not but im needing some encouragement and needed to turn somewhere. Fir the first time in a long time ive made decisions in my life fir me. . And yet im feeling worse than ever. Let me re cap, i finally left a job that although afforded me a fabulous schedule...	Theoceancalls	8	813	Aug 11, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	ODAT 8/11 - What Are We Doing About It? (Preview) Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon asks some questions that serve as an effective reset when I find myself struggling with negative thoughts and feelings. The AlAnon program is not a magic pill that miraculously and permanently removes our troubled thoughts. The page notes that even when we'...	Enigmatic	6	858	Aug 11, 2015 by hotrod
	I'm losing her, the love of my life (Preview) I'm a deeply insecure person, with severe self-esteem issues. I have social anxiety and phobia and I've developed very codependent behavior throughout the years. So I'm basically a mess. There's a long, painful history that has pushed me onto this path, but I accept and realize that I'm ultimate...	iceland333	9	941	Aug 11, 2015 by pinkchip
	Is it really my fault? (Preview) Every, and I mean every, fight we have, it ends up being my fault. The fact he showed up at my company picnic and created a scene was fault. He is sad because it's my fault. I won't have sex with him and that's my fault. I'm creating attitudes in our children against him and that is my fault. Is it? Is there a ch...	runningwife	16	953	Aug 11, 2015 by Doingmybest
	Hello Friends -long few weeks. (Preview) Well dear friends first let me say hello! I've been away from this board for about 6 weeks or so. In way of excuse, I have been really messed up so much so that I couldn't even really come here to describe. being an alonon is not just about when we live with alcoholics I'm a true people pleaser to the point th...	glad	7	575	Aug 11, 2015 by Jerry F
	Aha, this will be fun! (Preview) Ha! Not sure what's going on with the whole cosmic order of things but it really seems that my HP has decided it's time to clear up all of the "stuff" surrounding my ex husband, one way or another. This Sunday daughter has a school event and so I am to take her to his house on friday night and then m...	missmeliss	12	793	Aug 10, 2015 by LinSC
	C2C 8-10 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 10 speaks about clutter and how, as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism , many of us develop destructive tools to live by. Some are expressed in our housekeeping, such as clutter , shopping, obsessively cleaning, etc. It points out the clutter does not ha...	hotrod	5	731	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	We have arrived :) (Preview) Made it all the way to Ft Worth, Texas .. LOL. It's been an adventure already which those who know me know that is always the case. Started at 2PM Saturday and literally at about 4AM Sunday morning decided that it might be a good idea to stop we were about 130 miles outside of Dallas and I just couldn't go a...	SerenityRUS	6	697	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	When does the anger go away? (Preview) I am so anger and distrustful of the AH. Does it ever go away?	runningwife	5	747	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	relate to today's reading in the C2C (Preview) I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...	Hoot Nanny	3	596	Aug 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Son in Jail (Preview) My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...	ftrvr	4	921	Aug 10, 2015 by Skorpi
	How to send my 25 year old daughter this site (Preview) Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...	TrishaG	9	801	Aug 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Frustrated and not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...	emma-jade	9	871	Aug 9, 2015 by hotrod
	Remind m not to say "bring it on" again...lol (Preview) Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...	missmeliss	3	770	Aug 9, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 8-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...	hotrod	3	597	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	haunted by alcoholic ex's path to destruction (Preview) Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...	misspaola	6	872	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	update on moving out (Preview) Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...	oceanpine	3	716	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	New-ish. Returning to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...	stillsmilin321	8	811	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	a years time. (Preview) Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....	a4l	8	681	Aug 9, 2015 by Mirandac
	it's time for action! (Preview) I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...	mjferg	4	741	Aug 9, 2015 by a4l
	Experience, strength, and hope from seasoned members about a meeting (Preview) Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...	Nana Benny	4	692	Aug 8, 2015 by Nana Benny
	This call may be recorded... (Preview) Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...	missmeliss	13	907	Aug 8, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 8-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...	hotrod	2	645	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Is there ever peace? (Preview) First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...	Lost and scared	27	1230	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	-1 Brother (Preview) When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...	confused_sister	9	745	Aug 8, 2015 by confused_sister
	feeling resentful (Preview) So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...	ANCWife+Mom	10	694	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...	Canuck	9	827	Aug 8, 2015 by Mattie
	woosah... (Preview) I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...	pinkchip	28	3716	Aug 7, 2015 by DavidG
	Manipulation x 1000 (Preview) I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...	SerenityRUS	12	942	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Success Stories (Preview) I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...	Italylover23	14	3448	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	it is a long road home... (Preview) Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...	Hoot Nanny	5	702	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Becoming more aware as time passes (Preview) My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...	Helpangel	9	713	Aug 7, 2015 by almostThere
	What's Your Favorite Al-Anon Tool and How do you Use it? (Preview) I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...	Iamhere	32	1256	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to leave but can't leave my dogs! (Preview) Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...	punkin	9	870	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	Responding vs. Reacting (Preview) Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...	gabigail	7	1894	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...	hotrod	3	716	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Finally followed through (Preview) Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...	Getting Stronger in OH	6	789	Aug 7, 2015 by gabigail
	My Son's Writings (Preview) Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...	Cathyinaz	17	1019	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	C2C 8-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...	hotrod	2	592	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Dealing with projection (Preview) I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...	gabigail	6	918	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Guidance needed, already in 12 step program (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...	Millop	7	779	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Not sure what I need to say... (Preview) So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...	yanksfan51	10	860	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Having to move out (Preview) I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...	oceanpine	13	993	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH IN HOSPITAL AGAIN (Preview) AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...	YARNCRAZY	12	835	Aug 6, 2015 by pinkchip
	:-( (Preview) Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...	missmeliss	17	907	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Called police for a well check on XAH (Preview) Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...	andromeda	9	880	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	What is normal drinking? (Preview) I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...	pinkchip	23	1568	Aug 5, 2015 by Green Eyes
	C2C 8-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...	hotrod	8	691	Aug 5, 2015 by The1975jen
	Lunch. (Preview) This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...	missmeliss	14	901	Aug 5, 2015 by Jen61
	Frustated, angry, living with a dry drunk spouse (Preview) Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...	Sooverthis	8	3392	Aug 4, 2015 by RealitySucker
	This will be interesting.. (Preview) Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...	missmeliss	4	816	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 8/4 Do We Expect Too Much/Specific? (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...	Enigmatic	3	650	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.