The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Oops - posted too early!
Just wanted to say thank you for this forum and Al-Anon. I've learnt an awful lot in the last five days. Had I not taken action I think I would be feeling so much worse.
I spoke to my Alcoholic friend this evening for an hour. The temptation to be critical and voice my hurt was not there. I'm realising that no matter what I say to her it won't change what she does but what I can control is my reactions or rather actions. I was kind and loving and though she is still in the thick of it I didn't have to resort to harsh words and bitterness. It went as well as it could and I told her I'd pray for her. I know very little will change until she decides she wants to change but considering we'd not spoken for several weeks I didn't walk away feeling the usual guilt, inadequacy and resentment I usually did.
I'm thankful I reached out. I really am.
There's no such thing as overuse of Al-Anon tools (board, meetings, readings, etc.) We've all been in the mind-set of 'it' before and know that when someone reaches out, we'll help if we can!
Keep doing what you are doing for you. The program gifts are so grand it is difficult to explain. But if you feel better in just 5 days, can you imagine what might be coming your way next?
(((Hugs))) - keep coming back and keep posting!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I didn't have alanon in my first years in AA. My sponsor intoduced me to detachment by telling me to be wary of folks relapsing as "they will drag you out of the program before you drag them back." Blunt, but true. It kept me focused on self and saving my own butt first. I did not have the time in the program or the detachment needed to 12 step folks by myself..especially folks I was close to.
