Hello everyone!  I might be new to this forum but I am definitely not new to being the daughter of an alcoholic mother.  I think I am ready to cut all ties with my mother after 18 years of dealing with her crap.  Heres my story. Please advise me as I have been going back and forth with the issue of finally saying "I'm done with her" for years now.

My mother started to drink when I was 10 due to "stress".  I was doing my family's laundry by the time I was 12 at the local laundromat because she couldn't keep up with her duties as a mother.

Fast forward to high school where my father finally left her.  Thats when she started becoming verbally harsh with me.  I eventually chose to live with her because I felt bad. (That is where i always fail, I always end up feeling bad)

Anyway, as I got older, her drinking got worse, our fighting got worse.  For example, one day she was drunk and flipped out that i took up two parking spaces in the front of the house.  Even though I told her I was just parking for a couple of minutes and going out to  leave again, she still went to take a baseball bat to my car.  Things got physical, curses were said, hers were slurred of course ... that night I ended up staying out just to stay away from her.  This is just one time. I Wont bore you with the other 625 times something similar has happened.

The more she drank the more we fought the more and more i started to hate her.

Fast forward to 23 years old which was when I finally left my house and left her behind me.  I didnt completely cut her off but not seeing her bogus drunk behavior was enough for me.  I still had my mother, just didnt have to see her or talk to her if i didnt want to.  Now, at 25 I ended up getting married and having my first child. 16 months later I found out I was pregnant again, only this time my landlord was selling the house i lived in with my new family.  Unfortunately, this meant moving back home (temporarily) with my now husband, 16 month old daughter and pregnant self.  She was happy to have us.  She was very helpful during this hard time for my family.  I thought things would be ok.  I was wrong.

She drinks every night.  Falls into the bathroom.  There were times where I saw dried up blood on her eyebrow, forehead, etc from falling the night before.  She does this in front of my husband, and my daughter.  She has to hold onto the walls to hold herself up. During the day she goes to work so she is sober when she gets home.  I don't dare mention her actions from the night before because she either denies it or tells me I'm wrong and walks away to go to her room to drink.

My whole pregnancy she has had really bad arguments with me while she was drunk.  Of course bringing up the past, or arguing about how she has no space in HER house anymore. fights so bad that my husband had to interfere, fearing the baby was in danger. The next day I wouldn't speak to her and shed have no idea why because she didnt remember.

We share the house and she doesn't clean up ever or cook.  You would think being pregnant with a toddler less than 2, your mother would help you. But no.  She was always too drunk.  ID literally be mopping the floor, 8 months pregnant, already diagnosed with a weak cervix and high blood pressure that shed offer to help but instead wobbled around me and asked what I was cooking for dinner.

As i reached closer to my due date I had asked her to please stop drinking just in case I went into labor and I needed her to drive me to the hospital.  (She's not allowed to watch my daughter, so I figured giving her that job was simple enough)...2 times i needed her due to false labor and both times I had to take myself because she was too bombed (my husband had to stay behind to watch my daughter)

I always ask her to not drink for special occasions, she promises she won't and she does.  She was bombed at my first baby shower, bombed at my first daughters baptism, bombed at my daughters first birthday.  She has been drunk around my in laws who are now fully aware that she's a drunk.  It makes me even more angry when i ask her nicely to please don't ruin my family functions and she promises up and down that she won't, but she always does.

The big problem is that she is making my life a living hell.  We can't move out just yet so I have to deal with living with her for a little while longer unfortunately.  But I have made the decision (i think) to just give up on her and cut my relationship off.  BUT I LIVE WITH HER! How do I do this?  Plus, she always comes to me sober and apologizes, and buys things for my girls...which makes me feel obligated to her forgive her and I'm tired of that!  I want to tell her to leave us alone.  That she's not allowed to say more than hi to the girls.  That she is no longer allowed to family functions because of the embarrassment she puts me through.  I shouldn't have to baby sit her or make arrangements for someone to baby sit her for me so that she doesn't cause a scene at my parties (which are always for my kids).  I will be baptizing my new daughter soon and I don't want to invite her.  Just this past weekend she was at a bbq with my in laws which i hesitantly invited her to like an idiot and she made a fool of me again.  Making fun of me in front of my mother in law.  So bad that my mother in law came inside and asked me if I was ok.  And that she couldn't believe my moms behavior toward me.  I WAS MORTIFIED.

my question to you all is : should i forgive her AGAIN for the 625th time? Ive threatened to leave her millions of times.  Told her shed lose her grandchildren if she kept this up.  She keeps doing it.  She doesn't respect me or my family.  She doesn't get help.  She gets worse.  How can I tell her nicely she's not invited to my family parties anymore?  How can i cut ties with my mother when i live with her? help me =(