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Hope for Today August 18
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits o...
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yanksfan51
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2
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478
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Need some help with staying in the moment....
(Preview)
What things do you find helpful (sayings, slogans, thoughts, activities, etc) for staying in the moment? I still get very intense moments of anxiety where I do the "what ifs" and freak out...I can often bring myself to stay in the moment but at times I still have trouble doing so. Thanks in a...
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Living508
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9
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575
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Death is imminent. I need help learning to forigve
(Preview)
I'm going to try to keep this as short and concise as possible. My Dad's ex wife, and the mother to my teenage sister, is dying from complications of her alcohol abuse. Her liver is officially destroyed, her other organs are failing and she is in a coma and on a ventilator. Today they discovered inte...
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scootypuffjunior
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38
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10819
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So, how's it all done?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm new here and new to Al-anon. Where I live there is an Al-anon meeting once a month so I will attend my first one in September. This evening I met with a lady from Al-anon and she gifted me with the little book 'Hope For Today'. I'm very grateful for that and it feels like a wink from God that it...
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hiraeth
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6
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451
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Apologies for ranting........
(Preview)
So my alcoholic 'friend' the woman who says she loves me is now 12 days sober. I am pleased. Where it becomes painful is she appears to have got back with her abusive ex whom she spent a great deal of time telling me was a psychopath, a control freak and an all round nasty peice of work. I feel used. I let mysel...
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PaulF
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36
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787
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Life on Lifes Terms
(Preview)
Hello Family and Friends! Not real sure where I am going with this, but I'll start by saying first that I miss just hanging out here and posting and replying to the post of others. This time of year gets very busy and somewhat crazy for me business wise, but I am grateful to have the business. My A son and I w...
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John
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3
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394
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Slogans, Readings, Boards, Meetings
(Preview)
Hi everyone, today I am really kicking myself in the butt! Somehow, someway I apparently had a debt to a company that I guess I forgot about, which is strange, this company took collection action and went to court and got a judgement and today the first email of the day at my work was from payroll showing a...
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Flower49
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4
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544
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Meetings Gone Wrong
(Preview)
Has anyone had the experience of attending meetings, either long or short term, where it is obvious the meeting is run by and mostly for long-time members and/or the very people who began a particular meeting? Where a Group Conscience has become a farce where only a few are allowed any significant inp...
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Kool-Aid Kid
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10
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1934
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Very Quick Update ..
(Preview)
I had another talk with my Mom after I left Illinois and I'm grateful I waited .. God love the woman, she does her best. She's doing better and accepting that moving to California is not the right move for me. Things here are moving quickly however not in the direction I had hoped .. you know what that is w...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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594
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SLOGAN for 8/17/15 - THINK
(Preview)
THINK .. Thoughtful. Honest. Intelligent. Necessary. Kind.Quiet your mind before you speak, therefore averting impatience and hostility, which as we all know only fuels and perpetuates the chaos, no matter where, when, why or who the chaos surrounds. When we THINK before we speak, pati...
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Debb
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5
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627
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Very good friend (Prayers Please)
(Preview)
One of my very best friends in the world has dealt with a lot over the last 5 years and has always been a rock for me. She listened even when she thought I was off my rocker .. lol .. I will love her forever because of just that. Probably because of that she's one of the few people who if they call me at any hour I...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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634
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ALA-NON BUDDY PRAISES ME
(Preview)
There is a lady who takes me to my thursday face to face meeting. we have become very close and i respect her alot. She praised me thursday on the way home. She said that i have grown alot in a yaear and a half. It also reflects when i lead the meeting and share. She felt last nite's stint as a leader went partic...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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608
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C2C 8-16
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 16 speaks about living healthy, eating and resting in the midst of a crisis. It points out that many times we skip meals forget to rest or relax until we are exhausted and simply ignore our basic needs.The reading suggests that during times of difficulty that is when we sho...
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hotrod
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5
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354
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Resentment and bitterness
(Preview)
So we are almost at closing time on our house sale. We've hit some snags along the way but I'm hoping things go smoothly from here on out and I can breath a little easier in our new condo. The reason we had to sell our house is because we couldnt afford it any longer. Always about $500 - $800 short every month e...
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Yankeerose
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33
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1044
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Yay for detachment.
(Preview)
I'm feeling an interesting lot of "meh". Abf has been on the up and up for months now, doing a course, walking the walk and basically doing and being everything "right". And it's been nice to see. I've started to receive his calls and occasional visits with far less dread and way m...
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missmeliss
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7
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552
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I've been fooled and baffled once again by this disease.
(Preview)
What a terrible disease this is. It's so cunning, baffeling and powerful for us Alanon's too. I went for a period of time thinking I had a normal relationship with my husband. What a fool I was. I'm back to square one. I now have to remind myself I'm dealing with a very sick person that is not getting any hel...
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lucymae
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13
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697
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cirrhosis?
(Preview)
My beer guzzling alcoholic husband told me he's gaining weight. Personally I can't see it except his stomach. I think he's lost weight everywhere else. So out of curiosity I looked up cirrhosis of the liver. He has the symptoms that I didn't know about. Bruising, bleeds easy from a tiny cut or scratch....
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pixie
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7
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920
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C2C 8-15
(Preview)
The C2C reading for all this 15th speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of the uncertainty caused by the disease, many of us are hard pressed to be able to determine the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. That is wh...
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hotrod
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3
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454
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Don't even know what is normal anymore
(Preview)
Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...
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Helpangel
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10
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667
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So much is about Perception...
(Preview)
The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...
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Skorpi
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13
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994
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Time to set a goal to keep from feeling disappointed.
(Preview)
My goal is to stop looking for praise, reassurance, compassion, love and support from someone who is incapable of giving it. I have to learn to accept that he CAN'T do it, it's not that he doesn't want to, or I don't deserve it...he just can't. My love for myself and the love of other family and friends is p...
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CoopsMom
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4
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597
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Shunned By Family
(Preview)
I just found out today that my family shunned me around 7 years or more ago telling others I am (or was) in jail for being a heroin addict. I know it sounds insane but my question is this...how do I shrug this off and get past it? I have no contact with any of them and apparently this is why. I have wondered for y...
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beGraceful
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5
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644
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Loving an alcoholic is becoming really inconvenient!
(Preview)
Ha. I feel as if I could write a million posts with a million different questions but right now I need to vent and figure out how to best handle the immediate situation. AH has to attend a court-mandated class this weekend as a result of his DUI. It is a weekend-long course and it's 2.5 hours away from wher...
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RealitySucker
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10
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516
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this too will pass
(Preview)
well..my feelings of desperation have lessened greatly. ah's dad is helping with our bills and ah is sober..this minute.. Im not fooling myself. i know that this situation is still looming every day. I dont want to base my decesions on whether ah drinks or not. I still have to face myself. Thursdays ar...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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383
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So confused and sad.
(Preview)
I've been in Alanon for about 12 years now. I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I feel so lost, confused and empty. My husband doesn't drink anymore and quit due to a heart condition. He is still undiagnosed. I allowed myself to get sucked in feeling sorry and worried for him. I was oh such a good c...
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lucymae
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4
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522
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C2C 8-14
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.T...
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hotrod
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2
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419
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this will be quick...I can't see
(Preview)
Pray for me I can barely see at all. I am struggling w/ a cataract. It seems that it is blinding me. I hope that soon I can tell you all that I can read again as clear as day. I am frustrated to say the least. I want my vision back! It has been just over 2 years since I got a refractive lens exchange now I have a cata...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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516
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Strength to move on
(Preview)
How to find the strength to move on after being married for 27 yrs going through verbal abuse?
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Shelby
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20
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689
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Meetings ..
(Preview)
All I can say is WOW on the meetings out here there is black belt Alanon everywhere it is wonderful. I love it. It's still be a little frustrating and so asking for prayers regarding work I haven't had anyone respond to anything yet so I think I need to change up my resume. I still have some options and I'...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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441
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ODAT 8-13
(Preview)
Since I posted the C2C reading for today incorrectly yesterday, I am going to share on the ODAT reading for today It is an interesting reflection on a topic close to m heart. The reading suggests that many of us waste time and energy rehashing old wounds and dwelling on the past and that by doing this,...
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hotrod
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4
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531
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Need some encouragement
(Preview)
I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps wi...
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Lost and scared
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22
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701
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divorce
(Preview)
divorce I sign divorce papers after 38 years of marriage. All those years of my husband drinking and me being responsibility for everything I am on the point of being just myself. It is no easy but I am working my steps and using slogans to live and let live.
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Elzbieta
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16
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1090
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Emotional Overload...
(Preview)
As Most know I have One Son, Now 18 :/ and on his Way to College this Weekend... I'm on such a Roller Coaster of Emotions that I think at times I'm Loosing my Mind.. I've Got really well at Hiding it from my Son, because I know he don't like to see mom cry and I don't want him to have any Ill Feeling about leaving...
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Jozie
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7
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680
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Was alcohol to blame for his good parenting? sigh
(Preview)
Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...
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EarlyBird
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4
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560
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First meeting in new town!!
(Preview)
So I went to my first meeting here in town the other day and boy did I have a good laugh at myself. I should add I had a good laugh with the God of my understanding. I was very proud of myself I was early 7AM meeting and as I watch the meeting fill I think to myself .. hmm .. there sure are a lot of men at this meetin...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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511
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Convention
(Preview)
Hi all i know most of you do not live in England but just wanted to post on here that there is an AA convention with al anon participation in Liverpool England this Sunday. its at the Adelphi hotel liverpool city centre registration 9.30 am first al anon netting 10.30 if anyone fancys a visit to liverpoo...
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Tracy
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0
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259
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Needy again
(Preview)
I feel a bit bad writing this. Some of you know my story already. Broke up a week and a half ago with my recovering A. It was the first time that I was angry and I mean ANGRY. He has a history of leaving (3times in the first year). I told him the last time that if he were to do it again not to come back. That was over a...
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Lost and scared
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5
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557
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C2C Reading 8-12
(Preview)
Hi again everyone, I just realized today's August 12 and not August 13. As a result of that mistake I posted an incorrect Courage to Change reading today. I am sorry for the confusion and here is a brief explanation of today's readingThe C2C reading for August 12 speaks about the third step and act...
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hotrod
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5
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504
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C2C 8-13
(Preview)
The C2C reading for Thirsday, August 13 speaks about our habit of placing people on a pedestal--especially our sponsor. The reading explains that the answers that we receive from each others, including our sponsors are merely the experience, strength and hope of the person who has worked the p...
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hotrod
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2
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492
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New Member: Dealing with Alcoholic Daughter
(Preview)
Hello, here are my stats and thoughts tonight: learned Daughter (29) had alcohol problem 5 years ago during her Destination Wedding. they split 1 year later, she's full blown Alchie now, DUI, interlock, job losses during peak binges. i have had her live with me on & off to "regroup" .....
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CoMom2010
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12
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676
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Hope for Today Aug 11
(Preview)
Good morning everyone! Today's reading is about the realization that Alanon brings- 'we are not alone'. The first time someone offered that phrase to me it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. Living with alcoholism-- as a child in an alcoholic home, and an adult in an alcoholic marriage was so is...
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yanksfan51
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4
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525
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what happened to me?
(Preview)
So im not sure if what about to post belongs here or not but im needing some encouragement and needed to turn somewhere. Fir the first time in a long time ive made decisions in my life fir me. . And yet im feeling worse than ever. Let me re cap, i finally left a job that although afforded me a fabulous schedule...
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Theoceancalls
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8
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635
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ODAT 8/11 - What Are We Doing About It?
(Preview)
Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon asks some questions that serve as an effective reset when I find myself struggling with negative thoughts and feelings. The AlAnon program is not a magic pill that miraculously and permanently removes our troubled thoughts. The page notes that even when we'...
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Enigmatic
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6
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684
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I'm losing her, the love of my life
(Preview)
I'm a deeply insecure person, with severe self-esteem issues. I have social anxiety and phobia and I've developed very codependent behavior throughout the years. So I'm basically a mess. There's a long, painful history that has pushed me onto this path, but I accept and realize that I'm ultimate...
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iceland333
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9
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758
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Is it really my fault?
(Preview)
Every, and I mean every, fight we have, it ends up being my fault. The fact he showed up at my company picnic and created a scene was fault. He is sad because it's my fault. I won't have sex with him and that's my fault. I'm creating attitudes in our children against him and that is my fault. Is it? Is there a ch...
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runningwife
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16
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768
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Hello Friends -long few weeks.
(Preview)
Well dear friends first let me say hello! I've been away from this board for about 6 weeks or so. In way of excuse, I have been really messed up so much so that I couldn't even really come here to describe. being an alonon is not just about when we live with alcoholics I'm a true people pleaser to the point th...
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glad
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7
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412
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Aha, this will be fun!
(Preview)
Ha! Not sure what's going on with the whole cosmic order of things but it really seems that my HP has decided it's time to clear up all of the "stuff" surrounding my ex husband, one way or another. This Sunday daughter has a school event and so I am to take her to his house on friday night and then m...
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missmeliss
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12
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639
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C2C 8-10
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 10 speaks about clutter and how, as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism , many of us develop destructive tools to live by. Some are expressed in our housekeeping, such as clutter , shopping, obsessively cleaning, etc. It points out the clutter does not ha...
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hotrod
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5
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560
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We have arrived :)
(Preview)
Made it all the way to Ft Worth, Texas .. LOL. It's been an adventure already which those who know me know that is always the case. Started at 2PM Saturday and literally at about 4AM Sunday morning decided that it might be a good idea to stop we were about 130 miles outside of Dallas and I just couldn't go a...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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521
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When does the anger go away?
(Preview)
I am so anger and distrustful of the AH. Does it ever go away?
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runningwife
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5
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554
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relate to today's reading in the C2C
(Preview)
I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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430
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Son in Jail
(Preview)
My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...
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ftrvr
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4
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695
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How to send my 25 year old daughter this site
(Preview)
Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...
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TrishaG
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9
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612
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Frustrated and not sure what to do...
(Preview)
Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...
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emma-jade
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9
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666
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Remind m not to say "bring it on" again...lol
(Preview)
Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...
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missmeliss
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3
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590
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C2C 8-9
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...
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hotrod
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3
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406
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haunted by alcoholic ex's path to destruction
(Preview)
Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...
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misspaola
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6
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686
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update on moving out
(Preview)
Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...
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oceanpine
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3
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533
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New-ish. Returning to Al-anon
(Preview)
Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...
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stillsmilin321
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8
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633
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a years time.
(Preview)
Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....
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a4l
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8
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511
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