Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...

Jozie · Jozie

Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...

confused2015 · confused2015

I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...

andromeda · andromeda

I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...

Debb · Debb

DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

. . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...

Gem207 · Gem207

I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...

Jacq · Jacq

Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...

mvg · mvg

HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...

carewithann · carewithann

Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...

Debb · Debb

STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...

Enuff · Enuff

Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...

Debb · Debb

NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits o...

Living508 · Living508

What things do you find helpful (sayings, slogans, thoughts, activities, etc) for staying in the moment? I still get very intense moments of anxiety where I do the "what ifs" and freak out...I can often bring myself to stay in the moment but at times I still have trouble doing so. Thanks in a...

scootypuffjunior · scootypuffjunior

I'm going to try to keep this as short and concise as possible. My Dad's ex wife, and the mother to my teenage sister, is dying from complications of her alcohol abuse. Her liver is officially destroyed, her other organs are failing and she is in a coma and on a ventilator. Today they discovered inte...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Hi everyone, I'm new here and new to Al-anon. Where I live there is an Al-anon meeting once a month so I will attend my first one in September. This evening I met with a lady from Al-anon and she gifted me with the little book 'Hope For Today'. I'm very grateful for that and it feels like a wink from God that it...

PaulF · PaulF

So my alcoholic 'friend' the woman who says she loves me is now 12 days sober. I am pleased. Where it becomes painful is she appears to have got back with her abusive ex whom she spent a great deal of time telling me was a psychopath, a control freak and an all round nasty peice of work. I feel used. I let mysel...

John · John

Hello Family and Friends! Not real sure where I am going with this, but I'll start by saying first that I miss just hanging out here and posting and replying to the post of others. This time of year gets very busy and somewhat crazy for me business wise, but I am grateful to have the business. My A son and I w...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone, today I am really kicking myself in the butt! Somehow, someway I apparently had a debt to a company that I guess I forgot about, which is strange, this company took collection action and went to court and got a judgement and today the first email of the day at my work was from payroll showing a...

Kool-Aid Kid · Kool-Aid Kid

Has anyone had the experience of attending meetings, either long or short term, where it is obvious the meeting is run by and mostly for long-time members and/or the very people who began a particular meeting? Where a Group Conscience has become a farce where only a few are allowed any significant inp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had another talk with my Mom after I left Illinois and I'm grateful I waited .. God love the woman, she does her best. She's doing better and accepting that moving to California is not the right move for me. Things here are moving quickly however not in the direction I had hoped .. you know what that is w...

Debb · Debb

THINK .. Thoughtful. Honest. Intelligent. Necessary. Kind.Quiet your mind before you speak, therefore averting impatience and hostility, which as we all know only fuels and perpetuates the chaos, no matter where, when, why or who the chaos surrounds. When we THINK before we speak, pati...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One of my very best friends in the world has dealt with a lot over the last 5 years and has always been a rock for me. She listened even when she thought I was off my rocker .. lol .. I will love her forever because of just that. Probably because of that she's one of the few people who if they call me at any hour I...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

There is a lady who takes me to my thursday face to face meeting. we have become very close and i respect her alot. She praised me thursday on the way home. She said that i have grown alot in a yaear and a half. It also reflects when i lead the meeting and share. She felt last nite's stint as a leader went partic...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 16 speaks about living healthy, eating and resting in the midst of a crisis. It points out that many times we skip meals forget to rest or relax until we are exhausted and simply ignore our basic needs.The reading suggests that during times of difficulty that is when we sho...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So we are almost at closing time on our house sale. We've hit some snags along the way but I'm hoping things go smoothly from here on out and I can breath a little easier in our new condo. The reason we had to sell our house is because we couldnt afford it any longer. Always about $500 - $800 short every month e...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm feeling an interesting lot of "meh". Abf has been on the up and up for months now, doing a course, walking the walk and basically doing and being everything "right". And it's been nice to see. I've started to receive his calls and occasional visits with far less dread and way m...

lucymae · lucymae

What a terrible disease this is. It's so cunning, baffeling and powerful for us Alanon's too. I went for a period of time thinking I had a normal relationship with my husband. What a fool I was. I'm back to square one. I now have to remind myself I'm dealing with a very sick person that is not getting any hel...

pixie · pixie

My beer guzzling alcoholic husband told me he's gaining weight. Personally I can't see it except his stomach. I think he's lost weight everywhere else. So out of curiosity I looked up cirrhosis of the liver. He has the symptoms that I didn't know about. Bruising, bleeds easy from a tiny cut or scratch....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for all this 15th speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of the uncertainty caused by the disease, many of us are hard pressed to be able to determine the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. That is wh...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...

Skorpi · Skorpi

The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

My goal is to stop looking for praise, reassurance, compassion, love and support from someone who is incapable of giving it. I have to learn to accept that he CAN'T do it, it's not that he doesn't want to, or I don't deserve it...he just can't. My love for myself and the love of other family and friends is p...

beGraceful · beGraceful

I just found out today that my family shunned me around 7 years or more ago telling others I am (or was) in jail for being a heroin addict. I know it sounds insane but my question is this...how do I shrug this off and get past it? I have no contact with any of them and apparently this is why. I have wondered for y...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

Ha. I feel as if I could write a million posts with a million different questions but right now I need to vent and figure out how to best handle the immediate situation. AH has to attend a court-mandated class this weekend as a result of his DUI. It is a weekend-long course and it's 2.5 hours away from wher...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

well..my feelings of desperation have lessened greatly. ah's dad is helping with our bills and ah is sober..this minute.. Im not fooling myself. i know that this situation is still looming every day. I dont want to base my decesions on whether ah drinks or not. I still have to face myself. Thursdays ar...

lucymae · lucymae

I've been in Alanon for about 12 years now. I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I feel so lost, confused and empty. My husband doesn't drink anymore and quit due to a heart condition. He is still undiagnosed. I allowed myself to get sucked in feeling sorry and worried for him. I was oh such a good c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.T...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Pray for me I can barely see at all. I am struggling w/ a cataract. It seems that it is blinding me. I hope that soon I can tell you all that I can read again as clear as day. I am frustrated to say the least. I want my vision back! It has been just over 2 years since I got a refractive lens exchange now I have a cata...

Shelby · Shelby

How to find the strength to move on after being married for 27 yrs going through verbal abuse?

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

All I can say is WOW on the meetings out here there is black belt Alanon everywhere it is wonderful. I love it. It's still be a little frustrating and so asking for prayers regarding work I haven't had anyone respond to anything yet so I think I need to change up my resume. I still have some options and I'...

hotrod · hotrod

Since I posted the C2C reading for today incorrectly yesterday, I am going to share on the ODAT reading for today It is an interesting reflection on a topic close to m heart. The reading suggests that many of us waste time and energy rehashing old wounds and dwelling on the past and that by doing this,...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps wi...

Elzbieta · Elzbieta

divorce I sign divorce papers after 38 years of marriage. All those years of my husband drinking and me being responsibility for everything I am on the point of being just myself. It is no easy but I am working my steps and using slogans to live and let live.

Jozie · Jozie

As Most know I have One Son, Now 18 :/ and on his Way to College this Weekend... I'm on such a Roller Coaster of Emotions that I think at times I'm Loosing my Mind.. I've Got really well at Hiding it from my Son, because I know he don't like to see mom cry and I don't want him to have any Ill Feeling about leaving...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Step 3 posted (Preview) I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...	hotrod	2	319	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Broken Boundaries... :/ (Preview) Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...	Jozie	3	513	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Confused (Preview) I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...	confused2015	7	569	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Getting our needs met (Preview) I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...	andromeda	30	1029	Aug 20, 2015 by Maine Girl
	One Day at A Time in Al-Anon - 8/19/15 (Preview) Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...	Iamhere	4	604	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Many different things .. (Preview) I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...	SerenityRUS	8	544	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/20/15 ... DETACH (Preview) DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	3	636	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	he's missing her childhood. . . . (Preview) . . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...	Theoceancalls	6	570	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Self Care ... Selfish ... or Self Defense? (Preview) As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...	Dave2554	7	674	Aug 20, 2015 by pinkchip
	How I have missed ya'll & giving up on the AH (Preview) hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...	Fairlee	5	540	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	Trying to build a life with a high functioning alcoholic (Preview) I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...	Gem207	25	3828	Aug 19, 2015 by Herbalist13
	feeling lonely but not alone (Preview) I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...	Hoot Nanny	4	387	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	What's best ??? (Preview) Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...	Jacq	7	618	Aug 19, 2015 by Fairlee
	First time posting- (Preview) HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...	mvg	13	635	Aug 19, 2015 by Jacq
	Alanon books (Preview) I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...	Yankeerose	9	1542	Aug 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	How to get past the guilt and focus on myself instead of him (Preview) Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...	carewithann	16	802	Aug 19, 2015 by Bethany66
	Looming Court Date (Preview) I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...	EarlyBird	8	654	Aug 19, 2015 by Dave2554
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/19/15 ... STEPS (Preview) STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...	Debb	1	490	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	The life we all miss (Preview) Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...	Helpangel	13	801	Aug 19, 2015 by Helpangel
	ODAT 8/18 - Why Polishing Our Halo Is a Bad Idea (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...	Enigmatic	6	713	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	compassion for an alcoholic (Preview) Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...	Lyne	4	747	Aug 18, 2015 by carewithann
	Courage to Change 8/17 (C2C) (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...	Iamhere	3	394	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	It's a long story but I'll spare you most details. (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...	Enuff	14	643	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/18/15 ... N.U.T.S. (Preview) NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...	Debb	6	2274	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	don't know how to be normal (Preview) Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...	hiraeth	7	519	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	minding my own business but supporting recovery for the A? (Preview) good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...	oceanpine	4	793	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today August 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits o...	yanksfan51	2	498	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Need some help with staying in the moment.... (Preview) What things do you find helpful (sayings, slogans, thoughts, activities, etc) for staying in the moment? I still get very intense moments of anxiety where I do the "what ifs" and freak out...I can often bring myself to stay in the moment but at times I still have trouble doing so. Thanks in a...	Living508	9	593	Aug 18, 2015 by hopefortoday29
	Death is imminent. I need help learning to forigve death dying liver failure forgive forgiveness (Preview) I'm going to try to keep this as short and concise as possible. My Dad's ex wife, and the mother to my teenage sister, is dying from complications of her alcohol abuse. Her liver is officially destroyed, her other organs are failing and she is in a coma and on a ventilator. Today they discovered inte...	scootypuffjunior	38	11449	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	So, how's it all done? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here and new to Al-anon. Where I live there is an Al-anon meeting once a month so I will attend my first one in September. This evening I met with a lady from Al-anon and she gifted me with the little book 'Hope For Today'. I'm very grateful for that and it feels like a wink from God that it...	hiraeth	6	467	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	Apologies for ranting........ (Preview) So my alcoholic 'friend' the woman who says she loves me is now 12 days sober. I am pleased. Where it becomes painful is she appears to have got back with her abusive ex whom she spent a great deal of time telling me was a psychopath, a control freak and an all round nasty peice of work. I feel used. I let mysel...	PaulF	36	803	Aug 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Life on Lifes Terms (Preview) Hello Family and Friends! Not real sure where I am going with this, but I'll start by saying first that I miss just hanging out here and posting and replying to the post of others. This time of year gets very busy and somewhat crazy for me business wise, but I am grateful to have the business. My A son and I w...	John	3	412	Aug 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Slogans, Readings, Boards, Meetings (Preview) Hi everyone, today I am really kicking myself in the butt! Somehow, someway I apparently had a debt to a company that I guess I forgot about, which is strange, this company took collection action and went to court and got a judgement and today the first email of the day at my work was from payroll showing a...	Flower49	4	563	Aug 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Meetings Gone Wrong (Preview) Has anyone had the experience of attending meetings, either long or short term, where it is obvious the meeting is run by and mostly for long-time members and/or the very people who began a particular meeting? Where a Group Conscience has become a farce where only a few are allowed any significant inp...	Kool-Aid Kid	10	2035	Aug 17, 2015 by Flower49
	Very Quick Update .. (Preview) I had another talk with my Mom after I left Illinois and I'm grateful I waited .. God love the woman, she does her best. She's doing better and accepting that moving to California is not the right move for me. Things here are moving quickly however not in the direction I had hoped .. you know what that is w...	SerenityRUS	9	609	Aug 17, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	SLOGAN for 8/17/15 - THINK (Preview) THINK .. Thoughtful. Honest. Intelligent. Necessary. Kind.Quiet your mind before you speak, therefore averting impatience and hostility, which as we all know only fuels and perpetuates the chaos, no matter where, when, why or who the chaos surrounds. When we THINK before we speak, pati...	Debb	5	655	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	Very good friend (Prayers Please) (Preview) One of my very best friends in the world has dealt with a lot over the last 5 years and has always been a rock for me. She listened even when she thought I was off my rocker .. lol .. I will love her forever because of just that. Probably because of that she's one of the few people who if they call me at any hour I...	SerenityRUS	9	649	Aug 17, 2015 by milkwood
	ALA-NON BUDDY PRAISES ME (Preview) There is a lady who takes me to my thursday face to face meeting. we have become very close and i respect her alot. She praised me thursday on the way home. She said that i have grown alot in a yaear and a half. It also reflects when i lead the meeting and share. She felt last nite's stint as a leader went partic...	YARNCRAZY	4	622	Aug 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 16 speaks about living healthy, eating and resting in the midst of a crisis. It points out that many times we skip meals forget to rest or relax until we are exhausted and simply ignore our basic needs.The reading suggests that during times of difficulty that is when we sho...	hotrod	5	374	Aug 16, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Resentment and bitterness (Preview) So we are almost at closing time on our house sale. We've hit some snags along the way but I'm hoping things go smoothly from here on out and I can breath a little easier in our new condo. The reason we had to sell our house is because we couldnt afford it any longer. Always about $500 - $800 short every month e...	Yankeerose	33	1067	Aug 16, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Yay for detachment. (Preview) I'm feeling an interesting lot of "meh". Abf has been on the up and up for months now, doing a course, walking the walk and basically doing and being everything "right". And it's been nice to see. I've started to receive his calls and occasional visits with far less dread and way m...	missmeliss	7	571	Aug 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	I've been fooled and baffled once again by this disease. (Preview) What a terrible disease this is. It's so cunning, baffeling and powerful for us Alanon's too. I went for a period of time thinking I had a normal relationship with my husband. What a fool I was. I'm back to square one. I now have to remind myself I'm dealing with a very sick person that is not getting any hel...	lucymae	13	713	Aug 16, 2015 by maryjane
	cirrhosis? (Preview) My beer guzzling alcoholic husband told me he's gaining weight. Personally I can't see it except his stomach. I think he's lost weight everywhere else. So out of curiosity I looked up cirrhosis of the liver. He has the symptoms that I didn't know about. Bruising, bleeds easy from a tiny cut or scratch....	pixie	7	936	Aug 15, 2015 by pixie
	C2C 8-15 (Preview) The C2C reading for all this 15th speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of the uncertainty caused by the disease, many of us are hard pressed to be able to determine the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. That is wh...	hotrod	3	469	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Don't even know what is normal anymore (Preview) Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...	Helpangel	10	684	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	So much is about Perception... (Preview) The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...	Skorpi	13	1012	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Time to set a goal to keep from feeling disappointed. (Preview) My goal is to stop looking for praise, reassurance, compassion, love and support from someone who is incapable of giving it. I have to learn to accept that he CAN'T do it, it's not that he doesn't want to, or I don't deserve it...he just can't. My love for myself and the love of other family and friends is p...	CoopsMom	4	613	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Shunned By Family (Preview) I just found out today that my family shunned me around 7 years or more ago telling others I am (or was) in jail for being a heroin addict. I know it sounds insane but my question is this...how do I shrug this off and get past it? I have no contact with any of them and apparently this is why. I have wondered for y...	beGraceful	5	661	Aug 15, 2015 by beGraceful
	Loving an alcoholic is becoming really inconvenient! (Preview) Ha. I feel as if I could write a million posts with a million different questions but right now I need to vent and figure out how to best handle the immediate situation. AH has to attend a court-mandated class this weekend as a result of his DUI. It is a weekend-long course and it's 2.5 hours away from wher...	RealitySucker	10	537	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	this too will pass (Preview) well..my feelings of desperation have lessened greatly. ah's dad is helping with our bills and ah is sober..this minute.. Im not fooling myself. i know that this situation is still looming every day. I dont want to base my decesions on whether ah drinks or not. I still have to face myself. Thursdays ar...	YARNCRAZY	4	398	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	So confused and sad. (Preview) I've been in Alanon for about 12 years now. I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I feel so lost, confused and empty. My husband doesn't drink anymore and quit due to a heart condition. He is still undiagnosed. I allowed myself to get sucked in feeling sorry and worried for him. I was oh such a good c...	lucymae	4	538	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.T...	hotrod	2	434	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	this will be quick...I can't see (Preview) Pray for me I can barely see at all. I am struggling w/ a cataract. It seems that it is blinding me. I hope that soon I can tell you all that I can read again as clear as day. I am frustrated to say the least. I want my vision back! It has been just over 2 years since I got a refractive lens exchange now I have a cata...	Hoot Nanny	6	534	Aug 14, 2015 by Debb
	Strength to move on (Preview) How to find the strength to move on after being married for 27 yrs going through verbal abuse?	Shelby	20	705	Aug 14, 2015 by Shelby
	Meetings .. (Preview) All I can say is WOW on the meetings out here there is black belt Alanon everywhere it is wonderful. I love it. It's still be a little frustrating and so asking for prayers regarding work I haven't had anyone respond to anything yet so I think I need to change up my resume. I still have some options and I'...	SerenityRUS	3	454	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 8-13 (Preview) Since I posted the C2C reading for today incorrectly yesterday, I am going to share on the ODAT reading for today It is an interesting reflection on a topic close to m heart. The reading suggests that many of us waste time and energy rehashing old wounds and dwelling on the past and that by doing this,...	hotrod	4	547	Aug 14, 2015 by The1975jen
	Need some encouragement (Preview) I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps wi...	Lost and scared	22	716	Aug 14, 2015 by Jerry F
	divorce (Preview) divorce I sign divorce papers after 38 years of marriage. All those years of my husband drinking and me being responsibility for everything I am on the point of being just myself. It is no easy but I am working my steps and using slogans to live and let live.	Elzbieta	16	1112	Aug 14, 2015 by The1975jen
	Emotional Overload... (Preview) As Most know I have One Son, Now 18 :/ and on his Way to College this Weekend... I'm on such a Roller Coaster of Emotions that I think at times I'm Loosing my Mind.. I've Got really well at Hiding it from my Son, because I know he don't like to see mom cry and I don't want him to have any Ill Feeling about leaving...	Jozie	7	700	Aug 13, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Was alcohol to blame for his good parenting? sigh (Preview) Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...	EarlyBird	4	575	Aug 13, 2015 by Iamhere
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