Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...

Broken513 · Broken513

I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...

Debb · Debb

QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...

MFB · MFB

We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...

hiraeth · hiraeth

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SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...

Broken513 · Broken513

Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...

hotrod · hotrod

I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...

Jozie · Jozie

Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...

confused2015 · confused2015

I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...

andromeda · andromeda

I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...

Debb · Debb

DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

. . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...

Gem207 · Gem207

I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...

Jacq · Jacq

Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...

mvg · mvg

HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...

carewithann · carewithann

Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...

Debb · Debb

STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...

Enuff · Enuff

Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...

Debb · Debb

NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits o...

Living508 · Living508

What things do you find helpful (sayings, slogans, thoughts, activities, etc) for staying in the moment? I still get very intense moments of anxiety where I do the "what ifs" and freak out...I can often bring myself to stay in the moment but at times I still have trouble doing so. Thanks in a...

scootypuffjunior · scootypuffjunior

I'm going to try to keep this as short and concise as possible. My Dad's ex wife, and the mother to my teenage sister, is dying from complications of her alcohol abuse. Her liver is officially destroyed, her other organs are failing and she is in a coma and on a ventilator. Today they discovered inte...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Hi everyone, I'm new here and new to Al-anon. Where I live there is an Al-anon meeting once a month so I will attend my first one in September. This evening I met with a lady from Al-anon and she gifted me with the little book 'Hope For Today'. I'm very grateful for that and it feels like a wink from God that it...

PaulF · PaulF

So my alcoholic 'friend' the woman who says she loves me is now 12 days sober. I am pleased. Where it becomes painful is she appears to have got back with her abusive ex whom she spent a great deal of time telling me was a psychopath, a control freak and an all round nasty peice of work. I feel used. I let mysel...

John · John

Hello Family and Friends! Not real sure where I am going with this, but I'll start by saying first that I miss just hanging out here and posting and replying to the post of others. This time of year gets very busy and somewhat crazy for me business wise, but I am grateful to have the business. My A son and I w...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone, today I am really kicking myself in the butt! Somehow, someway I apparently had a debt to a company that I guess I forgot about, which is strange, this company took collection action and went to court and got a judgement and today the first email of the day at my work was from payroll showing a...

Kool-Aid Kid · Kool-Aid Kid

Has anyone had the experience of attending meetings, either long or short term, where it is obvious the meeting is run by and mostly for long-time members and/or the very people who began a particular meeting? Where a Group Conscience has become a farce where only a few are allowed any significant inp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had another talk with my Mom after I left Illinois and I'm grateful I waited .. God love the woman, she does her best. She's doing better and accepting that moving to California is not the right move for me. Things here are moving quickly however not in the direction I had hoped .. you know what that is w...

Debb · Debb

THINK .. Thoughtful. Honest. Intelligent. Necessary. Kind.Quiet your mind before you speak, therefore averting impatience and hostility, which as we all know only fuels and perpetuates the chaos, no matter where, when, why or who the chaos surrounds. When we THINK before we speak, pati...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One of my very best friends in the world has dealt with a lot over the last 5 years and has always been a rock for me. She listened even when she thought I was off my rocker .. lol .. I will love her forever because of just that. Probably because of that she's one of the few people who if they call me at any hour I...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

There is a lady who takes me to my thursday face to face meeting. we have become very close and i respect her alot. She praised me thursday on the way home. She said that i have grown alot in a yaear and a half. It also reflects when i lead the meeting and share. She felt last nite's stint as a leader went partic...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 16 speaks about living healthy, eating and resting in the midst of a crisis. It points out that many times we skip meals forget to rest or relax until we are exhausted and simply ignore our basic needs.The reading suggests that during times of difficulty that is when we sho...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So we are almost at closing time on our house sale. We've hit some snags along the way but I'm hoping things go smoothly from here on out and I can breath a little easier in our new condo. The reason we had to sell our house is because we couldnt afford it any longer. Always about $500 - $800 short every month e...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm feeling an interesting lot of "meh". Abf has been on the up and up for months now, doing a course, walking the walk and basically doing and being everything "right". And it's been nice to see. I've started to receive his calls and occasional visits with far less dread and way m...

lucymae · lucymae

What a terrible disease this is. It's so cunning, baffeling and powerful for us Alanon's too. I went for a period of time thinking I had a normal relationship with my husband. What a fool I was. I'm back to square one. I now have to remind myself I'm dealing with a very sick person that is not getting any hel...

pixie · pixie

My beer guzzling alcoholic husband told me he's gaining weight. Personally I can't see it except his stomach. I think he's lost weight everywhere else. So out of curiosity I looked up cirrhosis of the liver. He has the symptoms that I didn't know about. Bruising, bleeds easy from a tiny cut or scratch....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for all this 15th speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of the uncertainty caused by the disease, many of us are hard pressed to be able to determine the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. That is wh...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...

Skorpi · Skorpi

The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Let's talk about LOVE (Preview) I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...	andromeda	29	1185	Aug 22, 2015 by PaulF
	Navigating Romantic Relationship (Preview) Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...	Maine Girl	6	739	Aug 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 8/20 (Preview) Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...	Iamhere	4	637	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	did'nt cause, can't Control it, can't Cure it ? (Preview) I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...	Broken513	6	1044	Aug 21, 2015 by Broken513
	Detachment is So Hard (Preview) My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...	Green Eyes	9	634	Aug 21, 2015 by hotrod
	A found HP (Preview) Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...	Lyne	3	406	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dry Drunk (Preview) I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...	EarlyBird	4	431	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 8/21 Live & Let Live (Preview) Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...	tiredtonite	5	796	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/21/15 ... QTIP (Preview) QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...	Debb	7	1099	Aug 21, 2015 by serenity47
	Timing? (Preview) We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...	MFB	5	615	Aug 21, 2015 by MFB
	Do you do the steps once or over and over again? (Preview) ?	hiraeth	12	624	Aug 21, 2015 by DavidG
	Interesting day .. lol (Preview) I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...	SerenityRUS	4	821	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to the group (Preview) Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...	Broken513	20	889	Aug 20, 2015 by carewithann
	Kids- how do u explain things to them (Preview) Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...	Helpangel	10	624	Aug 20, 2015 by Helpangel
	Step 3 posted (Preview) I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...	hotrod	2	332	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Broken Boundaries... :/ (Preview) Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...	Jozie	3	533	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Confused (Preview) I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...	confused2015	7	602	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Getting our needs met (Preview) I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...	andromeda	30	1056	Aug 20, 2015 by Maine Girl
	One Day at A Time in Al-Anon - 8/19/15 (Preview) Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...	Iamhere	4	639	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Many different things .. (Preview) I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...	SerenityRUS	8	559	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/20/15 ... DETACH (Preview) DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	3	673	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	he's missing her childhood. . . . (Preview) . . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...	Theoceancalls	6	594	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Self Care ... Selfish ... or Self Defense? (Preview) As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...	Dave2554	7	702	Aug 20, 2015 by pinkchip
	How I have missed ya'll & giving up on the AH (Preview) hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...	Fairlee	5	568	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	Trying to build a life with a high functioning alcoholic (Preview) I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...	Gem207	25	3918	Aug 19, 2015 by Herbalist13
	feeling lonely but not alone (Preview) I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...	Hoot Nanny	4	412	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	What's best ??? (Preview) Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...	Jacq	7	642	Aug 19, 2015 by Fairlee
	First time posting- (Preview) HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...	mvg	13	657	Aug 19, 2015 by Jacq
	Alanon books (Preview) I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...	Yankeerose	9	1621	Aug 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	How to get past the guilt and focus on myself instead of him (Preview) Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...	carewithann	16	841	Aug 19, 2015 by Bethany66
	Looming Court Date (Preview) I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...	EarlyBird	8	677	Aug 19, 2015 by Dave2554
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/19/15 ... STEPS (Preview) STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...	Debb	1	521	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	The life we all miss (Preview) Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...	Helpangel	13	829	Aug 19, 2015 by Helpangel
	ODAT 8/18 - Why Polishing Our Halo Is a Bad Idea (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...	Enigmatic	6	739	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	compassion for an alcoholic (Preview) Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...	Lyne	4	772	Aug 18, 2015 by carewithann
	Courage to Change 8/17 (C2C) (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...	Iamhere	3	421	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	It's a long story but I'll spare you most details. (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...	Enuff	14	664	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/18/15 ... N.U.T.S. (Preview) NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...	Debb	6	2355	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	don't know how to be normal (Preview) Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...	hiraeth	7	541	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	minding my own business but supporting recovery for the A? (Preview) good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...	oceanpine	4	820	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today August 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits o...	yanksfan51	2	514	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Need some help with staying in the moment.... (Preview) What things do you find helpful (sayings, slogans, thoughts, activities, etc) for staying in the moment? I still get very intense moments of anxiety where I do the "what ifs" and freak out...I can often bring myself to stay in the moment but at times I still have trouble doing so. Thanks in a...	Living508	9	604	Aug 18, 2015 by hopefortoday29
	Death is imminent. I need help learning to forigve death dying liver failure forgive forgiveness (Preview) I'm going to try to keep this as short and concise as possible. My Dad's ex wife, and the mother to my teenage sister, is dying from complications of her alcohol abuse. Her liver is officially destroyed, her other organs are failing and she is in a coma and on a ventilator. Today they discovered inte...	scootypuffjunior	38	11874	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	So, how's it all done? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here and new to Al-anon. Where I live there is an Al-anon meeting once a month so I will attend my first one in September. This evening I met with a lady from Al-anon and she gifted me with the little book 'Hope For Today'. I'm very grateful for that and it feels like a wink from God that it...	hiraeth	6	485	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	Apologies for ranting........ (Preview) So my alcoholic 'friend' the woman who says she loves me is now 12 days sober. I am pleased. Where it becomes painful is she appears to have got back with her abusive ex whom she spent a great deal of time telling me was a psychopath, a control freak and an all round nasty peice of work. I feel used. I let mysel...	PaulF	36	825	Aug 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Life on Lifes Terms (Preview) Hello Family and Friends! Not real sure where I am going with this, but I'll start by saying first that I miss just hanging out here and posting and replying to the post of others. This time of year gets very busy and somewhat crazy for me business wise, but I am grateful to have the business. My A son and I w...	John	3	421	Aug 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Slogans, Readings, Boards, Meetings (Preview) Hi everyone, today I am really kicking myself in the butt! Somehow, someway I apparently had a debt to a company that I guess I forgot about, which is strange, this company took collection action and went to court and got a judgement and today the first email of the day at my work was from payroll showing a...	Flower49	4	580	Aug 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Meetings Gone Wrong (Preview) Has anyone had the experience of attending meetings, either long or short term, where it is obvious the meeting is run by and mostly for long-time members and/or the very people who began a particular meeting? Where a Group Conscience has become a farce where only a few are allowed any significant inp...	Kool-Aid Kid	10	2118	Aug 17, 2015 by Flower49
	Very Quick Update .. (Preview) I had another talk with my Mom after I left Illinois and I'm grateful I waited .. God love the woman, she does her best. She's doing better and accepting that moving to California is not the right move for me. Things here are moving quickly however not in the direction I had hoped .. you know what that is w...	SerenityRUS	9	622	Aug 17, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	SLOGAN for 8/17/15 - THINK (Preview) THINK .. Thoughtful. Honest. Intelligent. Necessary. Kind.Quiet your mind before you speak, therefore averting impatience and hostility, which as we all know only fuels and perpetuates the chaos, no matter where, when, why or who the chaos surrounds. When we THINK before we speak, pati...	Debb	5	671	Aug 17, 2015 by hiraeth
	Very good friend (Prayers Please) (Preview) One of my very best friends in the world has dealt with a lot over the last 5 years and has always been a rock for me. She listened even when she thought I was off my rocker .. lol .. I will love her forever because of just that. Probably because of that she's one of the few people who if they call me at any hour I...	SerenityRUS	9	664	Aug 17, 2015 by milkwood
	ALA-NON BUDDY PRAISES ME (Preview) There is a lady who takes me to my thursday face to face meeting. we have become very close and i respect her alot. She praised me thursday on the way home. She said that i have grown alot in a yaear and a half. It also reflects when i lead the meeting and share. She felt last nite's stint as a leader went partic...	YARNCRAZY	4	638	Aug 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 16 speaks about living healthy, eating and resting in the midst of a crisis. It points out that many times we skip meals forget to rest or relax until we are exhausted and simply ignore our basic needs.The reading suggests that during times of difficulty that is when we sho...	hotrod	5	390	Aug 16, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Resentment and bitterness (Preview) So we are almost at closing time on our house sale. We've hit some snags along the way but I'm hoping things go smoothly from here on out and I can breath a little easier in our new condo. The reason we had to sell our house is because we couldnt afford it any longer. Always about $500 - $800 short every month e...	Yankeerose	33	1080	Aug 16, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Yay for detachment. (Preview) I'm feeling an interesting lot of "meh". Abf has been on the up and up for months now, doing a course, walking the walk and basically doing and being everything "right". And it's been nice to see. I've started to receive his calls and occasional visits with far less dread and way m...	missmeliss	7	589	Aug 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	I've been fooled and baffled once again by this disease. (Preview) What a terrible disease this is. It's so cunning, baffeling and powerful for us Alanon's too. I went for a period of time thinking I had a normal relationship with my husband. What a fool I was. I'm back to square one. I now have to remind myself I'm dealing with a very sick person that is not getting any hel...	lucymae	13	732	Aug 16, 2015 by maryjane
	cirrhosis? (Preview) My beer guzzling alcoholic husband told me he's gaining weight. Personally I can't see it except his stomach. I think he's lost weight everywhere else. So out of curiosity I looked up cirrhosis of the liver. He has the symptoms that I didn't know about. Bruising, bleeds easy from a tiny cut or scratch....	pixie	7	953	Aug 15, 2015 by pixie
	C2C 8-15 (Preview) The C2C reading for all this 15th speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of the uncertainty caused by the disease, many of us are hard pressed to be able to determine the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. That is wh...	hotrod	3	488	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Don't even know what is normal anymore (Preview) Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...	Helpangel	10	700	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	So much is about Perception... (Preview) The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...	Skorpi	13	1029	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.