Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover...

Debb · Debb

HALT if youre : Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Be aware when these four physical or emotion conditions arise. When these do arise we are in a vulnerable position to have a severe emotional react.Realizing that to react to quickly only puts me in a defensive position, which is not a healthy place...

carewithann · carewithann

I stumbled across this today, thought I should share it.. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think because the way you think determines how you feel and the way you act. If you want to change your life, change what you are thinking about. This involves a deli...

Kab915 · Kab915

So, this is my first time posting--I only found this forum two days ago after a Google search. I wasn't sure if I should post a comment on a similar board or make a new post. A lot of the other threads helped me, but I want to share my own...story? I need help. I'm 26, and my partner has been sober 3 and a half mon...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, Update portion: last weekend, I went to my hometown to help my sister move. My AW came with, and that was incredibly helpful. My sister is going through a divorce, and that is not easy. We had one day to pack and get her things out, and we did it! My parents have a garage full, a friend of hers ha...

Fairlee · Fairlee

lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "b...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 26 speaks in great detail about the negative tool of :"Denial". It points out that denial is one of the chief symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism. Some of us can deny our participation in the problem and either s blame the alcoholic for all our problem...

mjferg · mjferg

When I decided to start this program I realized how isolated I had become and one of my goals was to develop friendships.I have a neighbor who I talked to occasionally,we started doing things together,going out to lunch,etc.Her son and daughter also work at the same place my daughter works at.She cam...

pinkchip · pinkchip

These are random musings from what I have learned over several years in recovery : Choose happiness. Don't settle for less than you want in life. Accept things you can't change, but don't forget to change the things you can and want to. Remember you have choices and can choose to not be miserable. You...

joker · joker

I am reading the posts again and I can so relate to everyone's story. I have been working hard on focusing on me and my wants and needs. I feel regret for getting myself mixed up with an alcoholic. Its been a year and 3 months now and alcoholic bf has been sober for only 1 month in that time period. He knows abo...

confused2015 · confused2015

So I have been very distant with my AH the last couple weeks. When he drinks and says rude things to me he never apologizes and like I have said before I have built a wall. Anyhow, today he texts me asking me what he has done? I told him that I have been quiet because I don't want to argue and that the things t...

Mystery · Mystery

I am 54 years old and have been around alcoholics my whole life, I was picked on all through school until I hit highschool and would come home and be verbally abused by my Mother, I was married to an alcoholic for 18 yrs, then met a Drug Addict and was with him for 8 yrs and then 7 yrs ago I met a man online, we wou...

Debb · Debb

L.O.V.E. Let. Others. Voluntarily. Evolve.The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island) Pure and simply, L.O.VE. means no mani...

mjferg · mjferg

Well,I have posted before about a situation in my life that was causing problems,basically it was an issue with my daughter's boyfriend moving in and taking advantage of me,To explain, the night he came to my house,his father was drunk and they were fighting so I felt sorry for him and I ended up being m...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I realized today that I need to spit out the damn Kool-Aid I'm drinking. I have this idea in my head that just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we won't be great "co-parents" together. My ex buys it (more like sells it) too, and hands me the sunny looking pamphlet about what...

Debb · Debb

HOW . Honest. Open. Willing.Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness are the three primary principles in laying down a solid foundation for recovery. Honest with oneself. Being open to Power Greater than our selves and willing to take certain steps Three, important personality traits, ne...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying a new thing today; changing my font size. It just seems logical to make it easier for myself to communicate on here. So, I am doing better just sitting here. So, the latest is my mom came & went real quick. I am not sure how well it went because I think she was at her best & that made me uncom...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's not all roses I'm going to say that .. it is so much better than it was and the kids and I are literally living one day at a time. I can't begin to tell you all what it has meant to us. It is totally scary, thrilling and full of wonder every day .. so much better than dealing with the XAH .. lol .. and probabl...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

This reading speaks about the result of growing up in an alcoholic home - the traits that were nourished because of growing up in an environment in which the writer felt very alone. The writer mentions the tendency to limit awareness of people and circumstances, to look only straight ahead and not a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My friends son is out of the hospital however he's not ok. OMGOSH it is sooo hard not to say something and just listen. She got a big reality shock when he came home to recover for a few days. He's much more into the drinking than she knew because after all she could control if he was getting alcohol or not...

Truth · Truth

I just came to check in and see how everyone is doing???? I have been a little busy (the good kind) .... Focusing on eating healthy, and exercise

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

For as long as I can remember, I have been referred to as being negative. I have often argued that truth is truth and therefore not positive or negative and I still believe/agree with this to some degree. My perception of truth has changed though and I pray for the better. What I have noticed is that my &...

Jozie · Jozie

I have a Dear Sweet Al-Anon Friend that called me to her Home because she felt She owed me an Amends... Now mind you I have been Racking my Brain All day trying to figure out what that may be... And I'm Humbled to Say... She is Just Amazing, Just so graceful, Kind, and Even when She was Telling me of Her Short C...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family <3 I want to Thank you All for Lifting Me Up from Last week, I Feel More balanced today even tho still struggling with everyday Stuff... My Son Gave a Surprise (I have Laundry) Visit this Weekend, and After Sitting down with him and Spending some time Listening about his First Week as a Co...

Luna22 · Luna22

I am new to this board and going to my first meeting on Tuesday. I have been married to an alcoholic for 7 years. He has been sober for most of our marriage with two short relapses. This one was the worst and he left the house Sunday. We have 3 kids under the age of 6. If it wasn't for them I would never have him ba...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for August 24 speaks about anger and how we react to difficult situations. . It notes that many of us, react in an angry volatile manner our blood pressure doubles and we unleash a torrent of profanity without even thinking. The reading suggests that we stop reacting a...

Lyne · Lyne

My A just tried touching my arm today and I cringe. My romantic feelings stopped 5-10 years ago, and I'm not sure they can come back. My A is still active and self-destructive so I am not even trying to feel romantic. I did make amends because I know this hurts my A, but it was years of drinking, lying, sn...

catlover26 · catlover26

It just becomes so frustrating. I am dating an A that is 15 yrs older than me. He has been sober 30 years and told me he was in AA for 10yrs. He 'talks a good talk' about the 12 steps and working to have serenity in his life but for the most part he doesn't practice it. For several months his depression has gotte...

andromeda · andromeda

Why do alcoholics have to scare their children? My son just told me that his father has been getting bloodwork done last week because he thinks he has stomach cancer. My son said that 'dad is convinced he is dying'. Why do they burden their children with these things? I told my son that it is most like...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 23 speaks about perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes. Al-Anon gives us permission to make mistakes, explaining that we are human and that humans are imperfect. The best way to handle mistakes is to honestly admit them, so that we can be open to growth. It goes on to...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I just wanted to share with you that I celebrated my years in the program this week - definitely one of those bigger anniversaries. My sponsor spoke a little about my recovery and gave me my medallion at our meeting. We usually go for fellowship after just sponsor/sponsee so I can check in with her even...

carewithann · carewithann

After 30 yrs of marriage to a man who has been drinking till he passes out everyday for 12 years, I often contemplate leaving him for awhile to give him a wake up call, that I cannot live like this anymore and that he needs to at least cut back on his drinking. Frankly, he was very much the way he is now with t...

Annoner · Annoner

Help me take my hands off my adult alcoholic child and abusive relationship she is in

hiraeth · hiraeth

My mother is an alcoholic who can stay sober for a year or so then starts drinking again. This time around I'm feeling and behaving very differently about it, and it feels strange. Even though I know there's a real chance that she will die this time, I'm not doing anything to try to stop it, change the sit...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I need some perspectives on this one guys. I'm either doing a good job of looking out for myself or I'm being completely insensitive and selfish. Yesterday my ex AW's mother ends up in the hospital with shortness of breath and a fever. Pneumonia was considered a possibility so she was immediately p...

ataloss · ataloss

i have entertained the idea of joining al anon but at the same time I think I am in denial that my stbxh is an alcoholic. I will try to be brief about my story. We met in 1997 and married in 2004, we have 2 children 10yr old girl and 5 yr old boy. HIs father, who he barley knew, passed away in 2012 and that is whe...

Broken513 · Broken513

When do you realize you may want or need a sponsor. I have heard about them, just not quite sure how that works, not even quite sure what they do...lol...aside from the meaning of the word. I mean do I just announce would someone like to be my sponsor? or hey so and so would you like to be my sponsor? or does so...

LolaBleu · LolaBleu

Hello. I feel absolutely overwhelmed at this point. My husband just spent 2 weeks in a hospital with a bleed in his stomach, and then the "protocol" to detox him. This is the first time he has said that he knows that he cannot drink anymore. This came as an absolute shock to me. I married h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I went to my morning AA home group and it was another goodie...The subject about trusting and relying upon our HP. The shares were real and honest and I attempted to keep mine in that condition also. I shared about trusting my HP within my amends process and not letting fear and guilt give me short cu...

Debb · Debb

One of the most difficult things for me to do, is to accept myself exactly as I am. I find, that I worry that I am not reacting in a loving and compassionate way. I tend to, not all the time, maybe twice a month, react in an abrupt way towards an annoying situation, this I am told by my family or co-workers. F...

Billie · Billie

i discovered last week that my AH is having an affair. He is getting ready to leave the marriage, I can feel it. I have been an emotional mess over the past week and have a long way to go. Am seeing a counsellor tomorrow. Something else has also happened - I have opened up to a couple of close friends. I had to m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 22 speaks about examining our motives so as we can truly uncover -why we say what we say and do what we do . It points out that once we engage in this activity,we may find that" fear" has ruled our lives. We were afraid to say" no"-, We were afraid to stand up...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

welll first let me say thank you, huge from those that repied to my "hes missing, . "post. Sooo heres the friday night update. Its my ah bday. . .Not usually an easy day. He has no relationahips with his family, he never committs to doing something for his bday, he tends to be hyper sensitive. ....

missmeliss · missmeliss

A came to visit a few days ago. It's the first time i have seen him for about 6 weeks. I was mad. Over the past 2 weeks I had tried to speak to him but he was always drunk, gambling and mean, so I had given up. He hadn't spoken to me for days and when he turned up he was a little drunk. Not much drunk, but enough to mak...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I get the wish over the cell phone as my wife is 2600 miles away on central west coast. No complaint as she is on vacation with the grandkids from her side of the family. I'm glad for her as much as I am happy for us and love her. Amazing that this program marriage has out lasted the two sick ones that...

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...

Broken513 · Broken513

I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...

Debb · Debb

QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...

MFB · MFB

We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...

hiraeth · hiraeth

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SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...

Broken513 · Broken513

Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...

hotrod · hotrod

I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 8-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover...	hotrod	3	649	Aug 27, 2015 by Broken513
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/27/15 ... H.A.L.T. (Preview) HALT if youre : Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Be aware when these four physical or emotion conditions arise. When these do arise we are in a vulnerable position to have a severe emotional react.Realizing that to react to quickly only puts me in a defensive position, which is not a healthy place...	Debb	2	2655	Aug 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Reduce Stress, live in Peace (Preview) I stumbled across this today, thought I should share it.. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think because the way you think determines how you feel and the way you act. If you want to change your life, change what you are thinking about. This involves a deli...	carewithann	4	701	Aug 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	First-time poster and struggling (Preview) So, this is my first time posting--I only found this forum two days ago after a Google search. I wasn't sure if I should post a comment on a similar board or make a new post. A lot of the other threads helped me, but I want to share my own...story? I need help. I'm 26, and my partner has been sober 3 and a half mon...	Kab915	5	686	Aug 27, 2015 by a4l
	Unsure of what to do... (Preview) Hi Everyone, Update portion: last weekend, I went to my hometown to help my sister move. My AW came with, and that was incredibly helpful. My sister is going through a divorce, and that is not easy. We had one day to pack and get her things out, and we did it! My parents have a garage full, a friend of hers ha...	Skorpi	8	842	Aug 26, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	...but not if you are married to an alcoholic... (Preview) lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "b...	Fairlee	10	806	Aug 26, 2015 by andromeda
	C2C 8-26 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 26 speaks in great detail about the negative tool of :"Denial". It points out that denial is one of the chief symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism. Some of us can deny our participation in the problem and either s blame the alcoholic for all our problem...	hotrod	4	718	Aug 26, 2015 by Yankeerose
	More learning experiences (Preview) When I decided to start this program I realized how isolated I had become and one of my goals was to develop friendships.I have a neighbor who I talked to occasionally,we started doing things together,going out to lunch,etc.Her son and daughter also work at the same place my daughter works at.She cam...	mjferg	9	732	Aug 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Make your life great (Preview) These are random musings from what I have learned over several years in recovery : Choose happiness. Don't settle for less than you want in life. Accept things you can't change, but don't forget to change the things you can and want to. Remember you have choices and can choose to not be miserable. You...	pinkchip	18	1073	Aug 26, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Need to vent (Preview) I am reading the posts again and I can so relate to everyone's story. I have been working hard on focusing on me and my wants and needs. I feel regret for getting myself mixed up with an alcoholic. Its been a year and 3 months now and alcoholic bf has been sober for only 1 month in that time period. He knows abo...	joker	2	959	Aug 26, 2015 by Debb
	I'm Sorry??? (Preview) So I have been very distant with my AH the last couple weeks. When he drinks and says rude things to me he never apologizes and like I have said before I have built a wall. Anyhow, today he texts me asking me what he has done? I told him that I have been quiet because I don't want to argue and that the things t...	confused2015	19	945	Aug 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	Born into Alcoholism and Drug Addicts (Preview) I am 54 years old and have been around alcoholics my whole life, I was picked on all through school until I hit highschool and would come home and be verbally abused by my Mother, I was married to an alcoholic for 18 yrs, then met a Drug Addict and was with him for 8 yrs and then 7 yrs ago I met a man online, we wou...	Mystery	7	546	Aug 26, 2015 by Mystery
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/26/15 ... L.O.V.E. (Preview) L.O.V.E. Let. Others. Voluntarily. Evolve.The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island) Pure and simply, L.O.VE. means no mani...	Debb	5	1244	Aug 26, 2015 by serenity47
	weathering the storm (Preview) Well,I have posted before about a situation in my life that was causing problems,basically it was an issue with my daughter's boyfriend moving in and taking advantage of me,To explain, the night he came to my house,his father was drunk and they were fighting so I felt sorry for him and I ended up being m...	mjferg	7	776	Aug 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Lost serenity but gained a little clarity. (Preview) I realized today that I need to spit out the damn Kool-Aid I'm drinking. I have this idea in my head that just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we won't be great "co-parents" together. My ex buys it (more like sells it) too, and hands me the sunny looking pamphlet about what...	littlelionman	5	590	Aug 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/25/15 ... HOW (Preview) HOW . Honest. Open. Willing.Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness are the three primary principles in laying down a solid foundation for recovery. Honest with oneself. Being open to Power Greater than our selves and willing to take certain steps Three, important personality traits, ne...	Debb	13	3580	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	it is doable (Preview) I am trying a new thing today; changing my font size. It just seems logical to make it easier for myself to communicate on here. So, I am doing better just sitting here. So, the latest is my mom came & went real quick. I am not sure how well it went because I think she was at her best & that made me uncom...	Hoot Nanny	4	591	Aug 25, 2015 by tiredtonite
	New Life .. (Preview) It's not all roses I'm going to say that .. it is so much better than it was and the kids and I are literally living one day at a time. I can't begin to tell you all what it has meant to us. It is totally scary, thrilling and full of wonder every day .. so much better than dealing with the XAH .. lol .. and probabl...	SerenityRUS	6	712	Aug 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope for Today August 25 (Preview) This reading speaks about the result of growing up in an alcoholic home - the traits that were nourished because of growing up in an environment in which the writer felt very alone. The writer mentions the tendency to limit awareness of people and circumstances, to look only straight ahead and not a...	yanksfan51	6	881	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Friend Situation .. (Preview) My friends son is out of the hospital however he's not ok. OMGOSH it is sooo hard not to say something and just listen. She got a big reality shock when he came home to recover for a few days. He's much more into the drinking than she knew because after all she could control if he was getting alcohol or not...	SerenityRUS	2	570	Aug 25, 2015 by Debb
	Update (Preview) I just came to check in and see how everyone is doing???? I have been a little busy (the good kind) .... Focusing on eating healthy, and exercise	Truth	10	808	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	negativity (Preview) For as long as I can remember, I have been referred to as being negative. I have often argued that truth is truth and therefore not positive or negative and I still believe/agree with this to some degree. My perception of truth has changed though and I pray for the better. What I have noticed is that my &...	Doingmybest	5	888	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Delightfully Humbled... (Preview) I have a Dear Sweet Al-Anon Friend that called me to her Home because she felt She owed me an Amends... Now mind you I have been Racking my Brain All day trying to figure out what that may be... And I'm Humbled to Say... She is Just Amazing, Just so graceful, Kind, and Even when She was Telling me of Her Short C...	Jozie	3	718	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Still Learning ;) (Preview) Hello Family <3 I want to Thank you All for Lifting Me Up from Last week, I Feel More balanced today even tho still struggling with everyday Stuff... My Son Gave a Surprise (I have Laundry) Visit this Weekend, and After Sitting down with him and Spending some time Listening about his First Week as a Co...	Jozie	6	766	Aug 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to board- for my kids (Preview) I am new to this board and going to my first meeting on Tuesday. I have been married to an alcoholic for 7 years. He has been sober for most of our marriage with two short relapses. This one was the worst and he left the house Sunday. We have 3 kids under the age of 6. If it wasn't for them I would never have him ba...	Luna22	9	689	Aug 25, 2015 by Jazzie18
	C2C 8-24 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for August 24 speaks about anger and how we react to difficult situations. . It notes that many of us, react in an angry volatile manner our blood pressure doubles and we unleash a torrent of profanity without even thinking. The reading suggests that we stop reacting a...	hotrod	7	791	Aug 24, 2015 by Truth
	no romantic feelings for A (Preview) My A just tried touching my arm today and I cringe. My romantic feelings stopped 5-10 years ago, and I'm not sure they can come back. My A is still active and self-destructive so I am not even trying to feel romantic. I did make amends because I know this hurts my A, but it was years of drinking, lying, sn...	Lyne	9	961	Aug 24, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	He's been sober but won't let go of his depression (Preview) It just becomes so frustrating. I am dating an A that is 15 yrs older than me. He has been sober 30 years and told me he was in AA for 10yrs. He 'talks a good talk' about the 12 steps and working to have serenity in his life but for the most part he doesn't practice it. For several months his depression has gotte...	catlover26	7	672	Aug 24, 2015 by pinkchip
	XAH claims he has stomach cancer (Preview) Why do alcoholics have to scare their children? My son just told me that his father has been getting bloodwork done last week because he thinks he has stomach cancer. My son said that 'dad is convinced he is dying'. Why do they burden their children with these things? I told my son that it is most like...	andromeda	13	757	Aug 24, 2015 by littlelionman
	C2C 8-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 23 speaks about perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes. Al-Anon gives us permission to make mistakes, explaining that we are human and that humans are imperfect. The best way to handle mistakes is to honestly admit them, so that we can be open to growth. It goes on to...	hotrod	3	700	Aug 24, 2015 by Ifnotforgrace
	Alanon Anniversary (Preview) I just wanted to share with you that I celebrated my years in the program this week - definitely one of those bigger anniversaries. My sponsor spoke a little about my recovery and gave me my medallion at our meeting. We usually go for fellowship after just sponsor/sponsee so I can check in with her even...	tiredtonite	7	1015	Aug 24, 2015 by tiredtonite
	To stay or go.? (Preview) After 30 yrs of marriage to a man who has been drinking till he passes out everyday for 12 years, I often contemplate leaving him for awhile to give him a wake up call, that I cannot live like this anymore and that he needs to at least cut back on his drinking. Frankly, he was very much the way he is now with t...	carewithann	9	893	Aug 24, 2015 by hiraeth
	Enabling (Preview) Help me take my hands off my adult alcoholic child and abusive relationship she is in	Annoner	5	757	Aug 24, 2015 by texas yankee
	feels weird this time round (Preview) My mother is an alcoholic who can stay sober for a year or so then starts drinking again. This time around I'm feeling and behaving very differently about it, and it feels strange. Even though I know there's a real chance that she will die this time, I'm not doing anything to try to stop it, change the sit...	hiraeth	15	793	Aug 23, 2015 by hiraeth
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) I need some perspectives on this one guys. I'm either doing a good job of looking out for myself or I'm being completely insensitive and selfish. Yesterday my ex AW's mother ends up in the hospital with shortness of breath and a fever. Pneumonia was considered a possibility so she was immediately p...	littlelionman	24	1184	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	new here and at a loss of what to do (Preview) i have entertained the idea of joining al anon but at the same time I think I am in denial that my stbxh is an alcoholic. I will try to be brief about my story. We met in 1997 and married in 2004, we have 2 children 10yr old girl and 5 yr old boy. HIs father, who he barley knew, passed away in 2012 and that is whe...	ataloss	6	696	Aug 23, 2015 by Mattie
	How do I know when....just trying to do the right thing (Preview) When do you realize you may want or need a sponsor. I have heard about them, just not quite sure how that works, not even quite sure what they do...lol...aside from the meaning of the word. I mean do I just announce would someone like to be my sponsor? or hey so and so would you like to be my sponsor? or does so...	Broken513	7	946	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	New. Afraid. (Preview) Hello. I feel absolutely overwhelmed at this point. My husband just spent 2 weeks in a hospital with a bleed in his stomach, and then the "protocol" to detox him. This is the first time he has said that he knows that he cannot drink anymore. This came as an absolute shock to me. I married h...	LolaBleu	18	1014	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	My Higher Power at work...I think I'll let him/her/it (Preview) I went to my morning AA home group and it was another goodie...The subject about trusting and relying upon our HP. The shares were real and honest and I attempted to keep mine in that condition also. I shared about trusting my HP within my amends process and not letting fear and guilt give me short cu...	Jerry F	10	744	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	How Can I Accept Who I Am (Preview) One of the most difficult things for me to do, is to accept myself exactly as I am. I find, that I worry that I am not reacting in a loving and compassionate way. I tend to, not all the time, maybe twice a month, react in an abrupt way towards an annoying situation, this I am told by my family or co-workers. F...	Debb	16	999	Aug 23, 2015 by Debb
	Betrayal (Preview) i discovered last week that my AH is having an affair. He is getting ready to leave the marriage, I can feel it. I have been an emotional mess over the past week and have a long way to go. Am seeing a counsellor tomorrow. Something else has also happened - I have opened up to a couple of close friends. I had to m...	Billie	28	1195	Aug 23, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 8-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 22 speaks about examining our motives so as we can truly uncover -why we say what we say and do what we do . It points out that once we engage in this activity,we may find that" fear" has ruled our lives. We were afraid to say" no"-, We were afraid to stand up...	hotrod	3	635	Aug 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	update (Preview) welll first let me say thank you, huge from those that repied to my "hes missing, . "post. Sooo heres the friday night update. Its my ah bday. . .Not usually an easy day. He has no relationahips with his family, he never committs to doing something for his bday, he tends to be hyper sensitive. ....	Theoceancalls	6	772	Aug 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	:-( (Preview) A came to visit a few days ago. It's the first time i have seen him for about 6 weeks. I was mad. Over the past 2 weeks I had tried to speak to him but he was always drunk, gambling and mean, so I had given up. He hadn't spoken to me for days and when he turned up he was a little drunk. Not much drunk, but enough to mak...	missmeliss	10	1030	Aug 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) and I get the wish over the cell phone as my wife is 2600 miles away on central west coast. No complaint as she is on vacation with the grandkids from her side of the family. I'm glad for her as much as I am happy for us and love her. Amazing that this program marriage has out lasted the two sick ones that...	Jerry F	10	682	Aug 22, 2015 by Jen61
	Let's talk about LOVE (Preview) I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...	andromeda	29	1387	Aug 22, 2015 by PaulF
	Navigating Romantic Relationship (Preview) Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...	Maine Girl	6	875	Aug 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 8/20 (Preview) Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...	Iamhere	4	766	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	did'nt cause, can't Control it, can't Cure it ? (Preview) I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...	Broken513	6	1189	Aug 21, 2015 by Broken513
	Detachment is So Hard (Preview) My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...	Green Eyes	9	784	Aug 21, 2015 by hotrod
	A found HP (Preview) Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...	Lyne	3	533	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dry Drunk (Preview) I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...	EarlyBird	4	573	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 8/21 Live & Let Live (Preview) Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...	tiredtonite	5	943	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/21/15 ... QTIP (Preview) QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...	Debb	7	1366	Aug 21, 2015 by serenity47
	Timing? (Preview) We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...	MFB	5	755	Aug 21, 2015 by MFB
	Do you do the steps once or over and over again? (Preview) ?	hiraeth	12	768	Aug 21, 2015 by DavidG
	Interesting day .. lol (Preview) I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...	SerenityRUS	4	948	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to the group (Preview) Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...	Broken513	20	1029	Aug 20, 2015 by carewithann
	Kids- how do u explain things to them (Preview) Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...	Helpangel	10	756	Aug 20, 2015 by Helpangel
	Step 3 posted (Preview) I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...	hotrod	2	453	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.