Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

petey49 · petey49

Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...

LabileLucy · LabileLucy

Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...

lookingup · lookingup

Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...

serenity47 · serenity47

Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...

Natasha9 · Natasha9

Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...

lookingup · lookingup

Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...

Tampa · Tampa

Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been so looking forward to my Christmas break,all of my work is finished for a while. I wanted to enjoy the holidays,instead I am finding myself waffling between depression and despair,ugh!I have made attempts at finding Holiday Cheer,but it just isn't there.I usually enjoy the holidays and...

ShellyM · ShellyM

Earlier today I shared that my AH found out about Al Anon and flipped out calling it a cult and ranting on and on. This is not going away, no matter how I detach. In fact, my not engaging in an argument is making him almost desperate and this is escalating quite quickly - I was proud of myself and found it sad...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

I am guilty of not going to meetings, praying, working my program at all lately. I feel into some real stinking thinking... Yesterday, I got the email address of someone in the program.... Today, I got up and read the promises and my daily readers.... Courage to change really spoke to me.... I want to ge...

Thorn · Thorn

I am beginning Step One after several months of F-F meetings, reading Al-Anon literature and listening to all of you. Happily, I am much better off that I was months back, becoming much better at not engaging with my AH and AD in senseless arguments and minding my own business. However, there are times...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

After a couple of weeks with good conversations with my qualifier that I do not live with (some yesterday) he sent me a scathing email last night on how yesterday was the anniversary of an action on my part that caused his major depression. After I got the email I called him and told him very calmly that I w...

Mab_green · Mab_green

Hello, I am expecting my second child in a few weeks and I'm starting to feel overcome with anxiety. My husband has been sober for just over a year after completing 3 months of rehab. Things were going really well for us in the spring so we decided to try for another baby... From my perspective, the clo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about trusting HP so that we can find the courage to act upon guidance that we might hear. We cannot sit back and expect HP to do for us all that which we can clearly do for ourselves. We must do our part. The 12 steps help us to distinguish between our responsibilit...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's read in ODAT sheds some light on how I can share our 'experience, strength, and hope' (ESH) at AlAnon meetings. The page suggests that consideration be given so that my share is helpful to others, not just used as an opportunity to air complaints or unhappiness about others. The reading adds...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I had my "Welcome Newcomer" folder in my purse and my husband saw it. Um..wow. He went on a temper tantrum, telling me how Al Anon is a cult based in Scientology and that it won't be long before I am handing over all of my worldly possessions to this "cult" and on and on... But this po...

MCALANON · MCALANON

Long time since I posted. Will cut the story short. My alcoholic son was sober for 4 month. Relapsed and binged again. He's on med for bi polar. I went collect him today from his rented room so he could withdraw safely , if he's officially sober ie hides the relapse, he could be working by end January in a g...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I'll be attending my 1st Al Anon meeting tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should even be asking this, because I am now understanding that this isn't about asking advice it is about me. But what do you do when you do need some direction and feel totally lost about what to do? I have been married for 4 yrs to a man tha...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Snow is falling, school is cancelled, my cold is letting up so I could sleep last night. Got up this morning, shoveled the porch, did the dishes (no apologies for being a morning dish-doer!) and practicing patience trying to watch a show on my Roku box that has to keep reloading every two minutes. I may g...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 17 speaks about the Al-Anon suggestion of praying for those that we feel resentful of. It asks us to consider this because in the beginning, we cannot understand how this can help. The more we persevere in this practice the more we see how effective this tool can be. T...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 16 is a very powerful. It points out that we often think we have to "take care "of everybody and everything because we have no choice. The reading goes on to explain that although we do have responsibilities that we must act upon , we must know that there are man...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am asking for prayers for a fellow member. She is struggling w work issues & conflict w a co worker. She stopped by yesterday & had just gotten a text from me & said it was a God-thing. I have never seen her cry so much. She felt devasted & needed a shoulder. That's how this program works....

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Well thanksgiving proved to be a tipping point for me. I am needing advice on how to check my motives in a few ultimatums I gave him because I feel like in telling him specificallly what he needs to do to keep our family together 'or else' feels like I might be controlling or trying make him do my will. I to...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm really having some problems with staying present and trusting that my higher power has a plan for me. Along with the usual stressors that are a part of the holidays and end of year, I'm still trying to find a job that is a good fit. My old supervisor has agreed to be one of my references and I was surpris...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Axbf moved out of our apt and into the surprise lease he signed this weekend where he was hoping we would continue dating and he could start drinking again. (hopes dashed). Walked in with his friend and started crying. Said, 'This is not what I wanted.' He feels now he made a mistake. How cunning is this d...

zaipiaz · zaipiaz

I'm here to learn. I recently started dating a man who is fifteen years sober. Understandably, AA is a significant portion of his life, but I know very little about it. I do know something about alcoholism. My father's family is just chock full of alcoholics. My mother kept me away from that side of...

Mattie · Mattie

I have a situation where a friend has done something thoughtless, or rather, another in a line of long thoughtless things of the same kind, a kind that assumes a lot of sacrifice on my part and none on hers. This dynamic has been going on for years, but in my unhealthiness I always thought, "I just h...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I left my husband last month. I didn't leave because I didn't love him...I left because I had to. I needed to protect myself financially, legally, and emotionally. He has done some terrible things that have hurt me but I also am trying to practice forgiveness and acknowledge that this disease turn...

PaulF · PaulF

Hi there - it's been a few months since I posted on here. I came to this forum on account of a woman I had met whilst we were both in rehab and the subsequent relationship we had after we left. I have remained sober for nearly 20 months time but she relapsed as soon as she left. Contact was difficult and sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I went on a date .. my very first real date .. with a man no less. It has been nice and the best part is this .. it's nice having someone who will take initiative calls or texts, makes plans and is not waiting for me to do all of the work. In any relationship I have always been the one who has had to do the major...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I've been gone for awhile. Now I'm back. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I found another stash, and I'm not at all surprised by it. I want to leave, but I honestly feel like I can't. It's the holidays, they'll be ruined. I don't have a place to go at the moment. He's going to go to the therapist an...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the possibility in loving detachment- the acceptance that we cannot make changes in other people, putting the energy and focus into care of ourselves rather than an obsession with other people. When I first started attending alanon meetings I woul...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

HI I am a newbie to this forum and so confused. My first qualifier was my Father who found sobriety thru AA when I was a teenager. Fast forward to my adult life. Married 35+ years. My AH quit drinking about 15 years ago (no recovery) but has always suffered with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. After h...

indespair25 · indespair25

Hello, I am new here and at this point, I am at my wits end and just want someone to listen to me and provide feedback or just talk to me about their experiences and how they are coping. My 18 year son has a severe drinking problem. It is so much to type so I will keep it simple. He has been to two different inp...

hotrod · hotrod

learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 11th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t613346...

sandollars · sandollars

Yes, troubled. Long story short... I met this guy about 1 1/2 years ago. We became friends....just friends....never even notice his drinking. About 4 months into the friendship, I start to see it...and try to understand it. I listen to him...his life is a true mess...and I knew that going in, wh...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello All, I am in a difficult situation right now and hope I can get the opinion of you all. My best friend, lets call her Monica, is not a active alcoholic right now, but was in the past, she doesn't think she ever had a problem either. This isn't the reason I want to end our friendship. The reason is Mon...

KeyHolder · KeyHolder

Hi there, I'm no stranger to AA, my Dad has been in recovery for decades. He alone is one of the largest reasons I tend to have so much faith in hope for others wanting to and successfully being able to change their lives. He has truly become my hero, I am so grateful for him and proud of him. One thing I have ne...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 14 speaks about the many forms of loss that we may face in life. The reading uses the example of the loss of a partner through death, divorce, incarceration or illness. When we experience such grief many times we tend to push people away but by attending meetings we lea...

Jerry F · Jerry F

By one of our members more astute that I at computer savy name restored to Jerry F...whew!! Only one reflection in the mirror again....Big Mahalo (((((hugs)))))

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been tearing my hair out worrying at something and it finally dawned on me to have a look at it with the diagnostic section of my al-anon tool kit. Glad I remembered that I have it! See, I have taken on a reasonably hefty study load for the coming months. I've just started 2 new online subjects (I can co...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for December 13 points out that Al-Anon helps us to balance our lives as if we are a riding on a bicycle. When using the alanon tools we are able to carry vitality into everyday because we learn to do this by : applying the. steps and slogans to various situations ." Live and let live...

Lyne · Lyne

When I heard the news that my spouse's drinking buddies, a couple, have moved back from CA., I have to be honest and admit it did sting for about 5 minutes. And then I realized that those people did not cause my spouse's lying, sneaking, and dangerous driving. Furthermore, from my alanon toolbox come...

itsjustmenow · itsjustmenow

My partner has struggled with addiction the entire 13 years we've been together. We've always made it through each "episode" together, quite worse for wear but learning more each time. I'm afraid this one is going to break us, and I'm desperate for it to not break me in the process. I've onl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 12 speaks about having a" closed mind." It states that when we first come into program, we bring this attitude to meetings , think we know it all and no one can tell us anything, and consequently we don't hear the powerful message of the program and are not teachab...

HappySad · HappySad

I'm the 20 year old daughter of an alcoholic mother.She has been an alcoholic my entire life, and lost custody of my brother and I as a kids. My 50 year old mother tried to kill herself a year ago and then was in rehab for several months and did GREAT. It was like meeting a new version of my mother I'd never s...

Jerry Eff · Jerry Eff

I had to get back home quick and in the process had to change some of my looks and sounds...Now Jerry Eff (lol) because the puter that Jerry F was using and buried in died very quietly and left me wondering how could I get back home now. Frustrating to have to reset everything back up again cause the old me is...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

My ABF got a call early this morning that his cousin had a manic break at his friends and to please come help. I have work this morning but I told him if he needs me I will come with him. He said he was not sure that was upto me. I'm learning not to give help unless asked but I can't help but feel uneasy about not go...

mjferg · mjferg

As I have plodded along on my journey trying to grasp and understand myself, I realize that the pain subsides and I emerge from the darkness with a knowledge that I can trust myself to make decisions. I was shopping the other day and I needed some items for my home, I wasn't sure which would work best so I...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So often my AH starts a conversation with me about work, or family, or some friend of mine that he doesn't care for and while it starts out pleasant and normal there is always this weird twist where he starts to get defensive and wants me to agree with whatever his point is "Your boss has to stop treat...

mjferg · mjferg

I realize I haven't shared in a while, I have been studying for finals and writing essays and papers. My brain feels like jelly , this semester has been a rough one, but I have made it. My grades are good. I am amazed I was able to function this semester with the amount of stress I have had. After the death of m...

aplcr0331 · aplcr0331

My wife is a recovering alcoholic. She's over one year sober and I'm very proud of her, but I'm pissed at how she "recovers". During her downfall into complete alcoholism I picked up a lot of the slack with our 3 kids. I maintained the house, cooked dinner, drove them to sports, worked my full...

joker · joker

Can someone explain to me what place principles before personality mean. I just do not understand what this saying means.

aetemp · aetemp

Hello, I have tried to exist in the same household and support the alcoholic father of my child for awhile now but he just simply isn't doing what he should do to get his own treatment. He has supposedly 'stopped' drinking but I catch him slip up here and there and his mental condition after doing so is ver...

joker · joker

I keep getting myself into relationship problems. Just when things are finally making progress with my current bf, him being sober for 3 months, an ex will show up from the dark and my old feelings that I had buried comes rushing back. This has got to do with my first husband. We were together for 2 years a...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 11 speaks about being sure that all our problems would be solved if we had enough money. The reading goes on to say that the truth is that money would not take away the effects that alcoholism has had on my family, nor would it make a drinker sober. It is important to look at wh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...	petey49	4	622	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Drunk dad (Preview) Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...	LabileLucy	7	744	Dec 21, 2015 by missmeliss
	Am I crazy (Preview) Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...	lookingup	3	663	Dec 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change 12-20 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...	hotrod	1	638	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Family divided (Preview) Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...	serenity47	9	846	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	dealing with the denial of other family denial family christmas pressure (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...	Natasha9	4	3930	Dec 20, 2015 by Natasha9
	This has to be quick. (Preview) Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...	lookingup	3	651	Dec 20, 2015 by maryjane
	How can I focus on me when there are so many things to do? (Preview) In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...	Yankeerose	13	743	Dec 19, 2015 by Yankeerose
	i am lonely & sad... (Preview) I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...	Hoot Nanny	3	2594	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Went from small BMW Convertable to SUV - yes there is a qualifier tied to this story (Preview) Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...	Tampa	4	3688	Dec 19, 2015 by Tampa
	Courage to Change Reading 12-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...	hotrod	1	524	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Christmas blues (Preview) I have been so looking forward to my Christmas break,all of my work is finished for a while. I wanted to enjoy the holidays,instead I am finding myself waffling between depression and despair,ugh!I have made attempts at finding Holiday Cheer,but it just isn't there.I usually enjoy the holidays and...	mjferg	2	606	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	I'm afraid (Preview) Earlier today I shared that my AH found out about Al Anon and flipped out calling it a cult and ranting on and on. This is not going away, no matter how I detach. In fact, my not engaging in an argument is making him almost desperate and this is escalating quite quickly - I was proud of myself and found it sad...	ShellyM	13	1175	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Starting to work the program again and Courage to Change today's reading (Preview) I am guilty of not going to meetings, praying, working my program at all lately. I feel into some real stinking thinking... Yesterday, I got the email address of someone in the program.... Today, I got up and read the promises and my daily readers.... Courage to change really spoke to me.... I want to ge...	mercedes1959	4	633	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do I stop feeling like a door mat? (Preview) I am beginning Step One after several months of F-F meetings, reading Al-Anon literature and listening to all of you. Happily, I am much better off that I was months back, becoming much better at not engaging with my AH and AD in senseless arguments and minding my own business. However, there are times...	Thorn	7	804	Dec 18, 2015 by maryjane
	Not sure I want to play in the sandbox.... (Preview) After a couple of weeks with good conversations with my qualifier that I do not live with (some yesterday) he sent me a scathing email last night on how yesterday was the anniversary of an action on my part that caused his major depression. After I got the email I called him and told him very calmly that I w...	pjwa12726	14	936	Dec 18, 2015 by maryjane
	Help! Baby on the way & feeling anxious (Preview) Hello, I am expecting my second child in a few weeks and I'm starting to feel overcome with anxiety. My husband has been sober for just over a year after completing 3 months of rehab. Things were going really well for us in the spring so we decided to try for another baby... From my perspective, the clo...	Mab_green	2	2508	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-18 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about trusting HP so that we can find the courage to act upon guidance that we might hear. We cannot sit back and expect HP to do for us all that which we can clearly do for ourselves. We must do our part. The 12 steps help us to distinguish between our responsibilit...	hotrod	2	663	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 12-18 What is 'Experience, Strength, and Hope'? (Preview) Today's read in ODAT sheds some light on how I can share our 'experience, strength, and hope' (ESH) at AlAnon meetings. The page suggests that consideration be given so that my share is helpful to others, not just used as an opportunity to air complaints or unhappiness about others. The reading adds...	Enigmatic	3	3300	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH saw my "Welcome Newcomer" packet and flipped, but Go Me! (Preview) I had my "Welcome Newcomer" folder in my purse and my husband saw it. Um..wow. He went on a temper tantrum, telling me how Al Anon is a cult based in Scientology and that it won't be long before I am handing over all of my worldly possessions to this "cult" and on and on... But this po...	ShellyM	5	735	Dec 18, 2015 by ShellyM
	alcoholic son finally done for my marriage? (Preview) Long time since I posted. Will cut the story short. My alcoholic son was sober for 4 month. Relapsed and binged again. He's on med for bi polar. I went collect him today from his rented room so he could withdraw safely , if he's officially sober ie hides the relapse, he could be working by end January in a g...	MCALANON	3	573	Dec 17, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	New here. Husband cirrhosis an impossible decision to make (Preview) I'll be attending my 1st Al Anon meeting tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should even be asking this, because I am now understanding that this isn't about asking advice it is about me. But what do you do when you do need some direction and feel totally lost about what to do? I have been married for 4 yrs to a man tha...	ShellyM	9	896	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Snow Beautiful Snow (accept what you can't change?) (Preview) Snow is falling, school is cancelled, my cold is letting up so I could sleep last night. Got up this morning, shoveled the porch, did the dishes (no apologies for being a morning dish-doer!) and practicing patience trying to watch a show on my Roku box that has to keep reloading every two minutes. I may g...	likemyheart	4	585	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-17 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 17 speaks about the Al-Anon suggestion of praying for those that we feel resentful of. It asks us to consider this because in the beginning, we cannot understand how this can help. The more we persevere in this practice the more we see how effective this tool can be. T...	hotrod	2	539	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 16 is a very powerful. It points out that we often think we have to "take care "of everybody and everything because we have no choice. The reading goes on to explain that although we do have responsibilities that we must act upon , we must know that there are man...	hotrod	4	609	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	prayers (Preview) I am asking for prayers for a fellow member. She is struggling w work issues & conflict w a co worker. She stopped by yesterday & had just gotten a text from me & said it was a God-thing. I have never seen her cry so much. She felt devasted & needed a shoulder. That's how this program works....	Hoot Nanny	4	550	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Controlling vs setting boundaries (Preview) Well thanksgiving proved to be a tipping point for me. I am needing advice on how to check my motives in a few ultimatums I gave him because I feel like in telling him specificallly what he needs to do to keep our family together 'or else' feels like I might be controlling or trying make him do my will. I to...	Hopefull15	18	1291	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Making a person my hp (Preview) I'm really having some problems with staying present and trusting that my higher power has a plan for me. Along with the usual stressors that are a part of the holidays and end of year, I'm still trying to find a job that is a good fit. My old supervisor has agreed to be one of my references and I was surpris...	tiredtonite	8	770	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Being happy while the drinker is still drinking (Preview) Axbf moved out of our apt and into the surprise lease he signed this weekend where he was hoping we would continue dating and he could start drinking again. (hopes dashed). Walked in with his friend and started crying. Said, 'This is not what I wanted.' He feels now he made a mistake. How cunning is this d...	giraffe13	5	623	Dec 16, 2015 by giraffe13
	Looking to Learn (Preview) I'm here to learn. I recently started dating a man who is fifteen years sober. Understandably, AA is a significant portion of his life, but I know very little about it. I do know something about alcoholism. My father's family is just chock full of alcoholics. My mother kept me away from that side of...	zaipiaz	4	684	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	How to "not say it mean"... (Preview) I have a situation where a friend has done something thoughtless, or rather, another in a line of long thoughtless things of the same kind, a kind that assumes a lot of sacrifice on my part and none on hers. This dynamic has been going on for years, but in my unhealthiness I always thought, "I just h...	Mattie	4	747	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	What I am struggling with today... (Preview) I left my husband last month. I didn't leave because I didn't love him...I left because I had to. I needed to protect myself financially, legally, and emotionally. He has done some terrible things that have hurt me but I also am trying to practice forgiveness and acknowledge that this disease turn...	Bloodshotbetty	7	696	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Death of the alcoholic (Preview) Hi there - it's been a few months since I posted on here. I came to this forum on account of a woman I had met whilst we were both in rehab and the subsequent relationship we had after we left. I have remained sober for nearly 20 months time but she relapsed as soon as she left. Contact was difficult and sp...	PaulF	8	864	Dec 16, 2015 by serenity47
	I did it .. LOL (Preview) I went on a date .. my very first real date .. with a man no less. It has been nice and the best part is this .. it's nice having someone who will take initiative calls or texts, makes plans and is not waiting for me to do all of the work. In any relationship I have always been the one who has had to do the major...	SerenityRUS	12	748	Dec 16, 2015 by missmeliss
	Back, after more than a year (Preview) I've been gone for awhile. Now I'm back. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I found another stash, and I'm not at all surprised by it. I want to leave, but I honestly feel like I can't. It's the holidays, they'll be ruined. I don't have a place to go at the moment. He's going to go to the therapist an...	SpiderArcana	7	729	Dec 16, 2015 by missmeliss
	Hope for Today dec 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the possibility in loving detachment- the acceptance that we cannot make changes in other people, putting the energy and focus into care of ourselves rather than an obsession with other people. When I first started attending alanon meetings I woul...	yanksfan51	6	621	Dec 16, 2015 by yanksfan51
	So confused (Preview) HI I am a newbie to this forum and so confused. My first qualifier was my Father who found sobriety thru AA when I was a teenager. Fast forward to my adult life. Married 35+ years. My AH quit drinking about 15 years ago (no recovery) but has always suffered with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. After h...	pjwa12726	16	924	Dec 15, 2015 by pjwa12726
	Tired (Preview) Hello, I am new here and at this point, I am at my wits end and just want someone to listen to me and provide feedback or just talk to me about their experiences and how they are coping. My 18 year son has a severe drinking problem. It is so much to type so I will keep it simple. He has been to two different inp...	indespair25	6	838	Dec 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Step 11 (Preview) learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 11th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t613346...	hotrod	1	573	Dec 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	troubled (Preview) Yes, troubled. Long story short... I met this guy about 1 1/2 years ago. We became friends....just friends....never even notice his drinking. About 4 months into the friendship, I start to see it...and try to understand it. I listen to him...his life is a true mess...and I knew that going in, wh...	sandollars	23	1165	Dec 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Should I end 25 year friendship with best friend? (Preview) Hello All, I am in a difficult situation right now and hope I can get the opinion of you all. My best friend, lets call her Monica, is not a active alcoholic right now, but was in the past, she doesn't think she ever had a problem either. This isn't the reason I want to end our friendship. The reason is Mon...	sunflower22	6	822	Dec 14, 2015 by Seymore
	Hello, New here (Preview) Hi there, I'm no stranger to AA, my Dad has been in recovery for decades. He alone is one of the largest reasons I tend to have so much faith in hope for others wanting to and successfully being able to change their lives. He has truly become my hero, I am so grateful for him and proud of him. One thing I have ne...	KeyHolder	8	814	Dec 14, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 12-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 14 speaks about the many forms of loss that we may face in life. The reading uses the example of the loss of a partner through death, divorce, incarceration or illness. When we experience such grief many times we tend to push people away but by attending meetings we lea...	hotrod	2	438	Dec 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	I've been fixed.... (Preview) By one of our members more astute that I at computer savy name restored to Jerry F...whew!! Only one reflection in the mirror again....Big Mahalo (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	13	868	Dec 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dialing it back. (Preview) I've been tearing my hair out worrying at something and it finally dawned on me to have a look at it with the diagnostic section of my al-anon tool kit. Glad I remembered that I have it! See, I have taken on a reasonably hefty study load for the coming months. I've just started 2 new online subjects (I can co...	missmeliss	11	873	Dec 14, 2015 by andromeda
	Courage to Change Reading 12-13 (Preview) C2C reading for December 13 points out that Al-Anon helps us to balance our lives as if we are a riding on a bicycle. When using the alanon tools we are able to carry vitality into everyday because we learn to do this by : applying the. steps and slogans to various situations ." Live and let live...	hotrod	2	677	Dec 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	spouse's drinking buddies have returned (Preview) When I heard the news that my spouse's drinking buddies, a couple, have moved back from CA., I have to be honest and admit it did sting for about 5 minutes. And then I realized that those people did not cause my spouse's lying, sneaking, and dangerous driving. Furthermore, from my alanon toolbox come...	Lyne	3	567	Dec 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to the program - hurting hard (Preview) My partner has struggled with addiction the entire 13 years we've been together. We've always made it through each "episode" together, quite worse for wear but learning more each time. I'm afraid this one is going to break us, and I'm desperate for it to not break me in the process. I've onl...	itsjustmenow	4	741	Dec 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 12 speaks about having a" closed mind." It states that when we first come into program, we bring this attitude to meetings , think we know it all and no one can tell us anything, and consequently we don't hear the powerful message of the program and are not teachab...	hotrod	1	628	Dec 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Mom relapsed relapse alcoholic parent rehab (Preview) I'm the 20 year old daughter of an alcoholic mother.She has been an alcoholic my entire life, and lost custody of my brother and I as a kids. My 50 year old mother tried to kill herself a year ago and then was in rehab for several months and did GREAT. It was like meeting a new version of my mother I'd never s...	HappySad	3	7251	Dec 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Am I home now? (Preview) I had to get back home quick and in the process had to change some of my looks and sounds...Now Jerry Eff (lol) because the puter that Jerry F was using and buried in died very quietly and left me wondering how could I get back home now. Frustrating to have to reset everything back up again cause the old me is...	Jerry Eff	8	705	Dec 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Pressing problem (Preview) My ABF got a call early this morning that his cousin had a manic break at his friends and to please come help. I have work this morning but I told him if he needs me I will come with him. He said he was not sure that was upto me. I'm learning not to give help unless asked but I can't help but feel uneasy about not go...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	6	559	Dec 12, 2015 by Fairlee
	Real Growth and Change (Preview) As I have plodded along on my journey trying to grasp and understand myself, I realize that the pain subsides and I emerge from the darkness with a knowledge that I can trust myself to make decisions. I was shopping the other day and I needed some items for my home, I wasn't sure which would work best so I...	mjferg	7	690	Dec 12, 2015 by Fairlee
	I stayed out of the rabbit hole! (Preview) So often my AH starts a conversation with me about work, or family, or some friend of mine that he doesn't care for and while it starts out pleasant and normal there is always this weird twist where he starts to get defensive and wants me to agree with whatever his point is "Your boss has to stop treat...	newleaf66	5	756	Dec 12, 2015 by Fairlee
	sharing positive encouragement (Preview) I realize I haven't shared in a while, I have been studying for finals and writing essays and papers. My brain feels like jelly , this semester has been a rough one, but I have made it. My grades are good. I am amazed I was able to function this semester with the amount of stress I have had. After the death of m...	mjferg	6	568	Dec 12, 2015 by Fairlee
	New-How Do I Give Up Resentments? (Preview) My wife is a recovering alcoholic. She's over one year sober and I'm very proud of her, but I'm pissed at how she "recovers". During her downfall into complete alcoholism I picked up a lot of the slack with our 3 kids. I maintained the house, cooked dinner, drove them to sports, worked my full...	aplcr0331	10	1826	Dec 12, 2015 by Fairlee
	Need clarification (Preview) Can someone explain to me what place principles before personality mean. I just do not understand what this saying means.	joker	7	551	Dec 12, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	wavering and scared with a 2 year old (Preview) Hello, I have tried to exist in the same household and support the alcoholic father of my child for awhile now but he just simply isn't doing what he should do to get his own treatment. He has supposedly 'stopped' drinking but I catch him slip up here and there and his mental condition after doing so is ver...	aetemp	2	665	Dec 11, 2015 by maryjane
	confused (Preview) I keep getting myself into relationship problems. Just when things are finally making progress with my current bf, him being sober for 3 months, an ex will show up from the dark and my old feelings that I had buried comes rushing back. This has got to do with my first husband. We were together for 2 years a...	joker	6	614	Dec 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-11 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 11 speaks about being sure that all our problems would be solved if we had enough money. The reading goes on to say that the truth is that money would not take away the effects that alcoholism has had on my family, nor would it make a drinker sober. It is important to look at wh...	hotrod	2	626	Dec 11, 2015 by ceewi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.