Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So today is my estranged AH's 53rd birthday. I did post earlier in the week b/c I have strange, ambivalent feelings about today. I feel like I should not ignore it, yet I don't want to engage with him b/c he is still drinking. A couple days ago I thought that maybe Kid and I could take him to dinner. Nothing f...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

he said this this morning over coffee. I am going to run to a meeting after work but I could use some ESH from others on this subject. I mean I'm sort of ok with just letting him go, at this point. I am working the program and I know I'll be fine but I worry about my kids. Any perspectives welcome Thanks!

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses what our program suggests when violence and abuse occurs in a family affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon doesn't give specific advice about relationships -- We don't advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual membe...

Lyne · Lyne

Day after day I am using my tools, feeling in control and better, and then yesterday kind of took me down. Family problems due to my A are escalating as holidays approach, and I learned we cannot reunite as a whole group. Thanks to Alanon I am not devastated, and the good news is that I know I will feel bet...

NayNay · NayNay

It has been forever since I have posted, or even been here. . . I haven't attended my local meetings lately because they simply don't fit into my schedule. . . I am good about reading my literature daily, and I keep in touch with a couple member of my group That being said I am so flipping angry I could scream...

roddy · roddy

My boyfriend is an active drug addict, potential dealer and alcoholic. We are very involved with each and I'm very codependent in nature. This morning I woke up to several texts saying he was in the emergency room because he had been beaten up in his apt and had a concussion. I'm assuming based upon t...

maria k · maria k

Hello. Very first post here. My question is: "Should I just count my blessings"? I have been married for 25 years. My husband is what I consider to be a functional alcoholic. He has had the same job for 20+ years, and his drinking has never interfered with his ability to go to work each day. He routinely...

Maresie · Maresie

Lazt.night I Lear ex that an ex.boyfriend of mine died. I found out yet another ex boyfriend.diex Some time last year. Both of them died of cancer. The amazing thing is when I received the news I.went straight into forgiveness. I #let go# I can't say I can do that too often. In fact I would have said t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Letting Go...The writer talks about their idea to state the Serenity Prayer at the start of the meeting being voted down at a business meeting. When her idea was vetoed, she felt her offended price, and then the Al-anon suggestion about 'principles above personalities' pr...

joker · joker

I am still sick with this cold/asthma that is taking a toil on me. I am so exhausted and feeling so miserable, I can not even stand myself. I guess I just want someone to love me as I go through this sickness and validate me and hold me and just assure I will get through this. I am tired so tired of being strong,...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about living one day at a time. The author shares that they often with for infinite wisdom, to know what is coming, so they can know with confidence how to spend each moment of their lives. But then, they worry that they would spend their life running away from pai...

Witchfinder · Witchfinder

Hey guys, My first post on this forum but I'm not new to AA or Alanon. My partner's alcoholism first showed its thirsty little face about ten years ago, when we both decided to get off the drink and get healthy. I could, she couldn't. Since then it has been a rollercoaster of sobriety and not. During that t...

nicerat13 · nicerat13

I'm new here but really need to find a place that I can just let this all go. I've been dating my AGF for about 2 years. There has been many ups and downs to say the least... Last October we took a break from each other. During that time she started talking to another guy. It was difficult when we came back toge...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

This last 9 months have been a nightmare. We don't live together, share finances or children. It would be so easy to let this go. Yet, it's not. We are still a couple because we wanted to be not because we had to be. He's a mess. He hates me "his words" and wants me to close this chapter of this book and I'm ha...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I had a tough week last week. Went through to the weekend. Maybe I can get some ESH from the forum... Firstly, mid-week my AH's sister (who has become the "spokesperson" for his side of the family, and the "keeper" of his 401K from his last job) told me that they all seem to notice that when my son and I hav...

WestMan · WestMan

So I got a sponsor a few weeks ago. Started working on the first step. I understand it takes time but I find myself annoyed at how vague a lot of this stuff is. I hear and see comments here and in meetings to the effect of "you'll know when you know." or "trust your HP". SHEESH come on. I know there is a reason so...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

he screwed up big time and hurt me in a way I've never experienced before. It's been 5 months and he told me last night to F off after I questioned something new I heard. He says I'm mentally ill and should be over it by now. That I'm crazy and acting deranged. Is it tiCal to shift the attention to me? To...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 26 speaks about the founder of Al-Anon, Lois and how she felt about certain words and life itself. The reading points out that Lois indicated that after looking deeply at herself she could identify that "smugness" was the very worst defect of all, because it is di...

DavidG · DavidG

Kia ora koutou... greetings to all... I am planning a weekend trip to the city. Normally leaving home fills me with dread. I have people to see and things to do today. I first went to the city 50 years ago- spent the first three or four years wandering aimlessly. In the end the authorities sent me out to wor...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

He won't see this because he blocked me and wants to never hear from me again. "I hope you have me blocked. I need to say this but I don't really want you to hear it. I hope you know my pain is tiring. I will work hard to recover from you and what you've done. It is my priority. I have choices here, all...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

hi MIP family. Recently I've become better at focusing on myself and it's hit me like a ton of bricks: I've had my head down working and caring for kids for the last 15 years. It's only recently that I even consciously realized I am married to an AH. So, go through some of that shock and grief anger etc abo...

ccane · ccane

Hello- I am new here and found this forum in looking for some resources. I am just fully realizing that my husband is an alcoholic and there is a real problem. Admittedly, he is not new to addiction. 9 years ago he injured his back and was prescribed ridiculous quantities of opiates and xanax which wer...

Lyne · Lyne

Working Step 3: The reading discusses that sometimes Step 3, turning our will over to God as we understood Him, is repeated over and over. The writer says there is a reluctance to give in and as such problems are held on to for too long. The writer developed awareness that without HP, things may not wo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 24 speaks about our attitudes and feelings prior to entering program. It suggests that when we arrive in the rooms, we are filled with drama and think that our experiences are unique and that everyone wants to hear the dramatic stories.After a while we discover that th...

MissM · MissM

It wasn't about the words. Love to all. -- Edited by MissM on Sunday 24th of September 2017 10:55:02 AM

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

held a yard sale here in los angeles. owwwwwwwwwwww got a bad sunburn on my face/neck. holding small pity party as it hurts like the devil..anyone want to join party ? a

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the life changing effects of Alanon. Like the writer, I went to alanon convinced that it would help me fix my life and my alcoholic. I thought I would leave meetings and all of a sudden have the answers. My earliest meetings were filled with frustration...

a4l · a4l

So a casual acquaintance has dropped a visitor to my literal doorstep. Poor kid has a mild intellectual disability plus alcoholism. Quite what I'm supposed to do for and with said kid is beyond me. 29 is not exactly a kid. I'm tempted to call his mother. Gah! Right. Needed to express. He's harmless en...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about our tendency to "react in kind", to different situations that arise. The reading points out that by doing so, we are turning control of our emotions and spiritual being over to another. It suggests that "reacting" in this manner is destructive, andt does not s...

navvik · navvik

Starting a new thread from the one I started. Requesting for shares. Do you feel threatened in your own home by A coming out of rehab? I'm having to try and sell my house (luck if I can .. in time) and run. I fear for my health, sanity, and everything else. And many other big fears. However, I have deep conce...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi. Today I have alot to be grateful for. My life is about to change for the better. I am loosing 200 pounds of dead weight and heart ache. My AH left his phone in the truck and asked me to pick it up and bring it to him tomorrow. So of course I looked in his phone. I know I shouldn't have but I have not trusted him s...

Emily Bronwyn · Emily Bronwyn

I'm new to this online forum; just looking for some support for myself. I have been married to my husband 6 years tomorrow, we have been good friends for over 20 (we met in elementary school) and have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has struggled with addiction (poly-addict, mostly alcohol, weed, synthetic we...

el-cee · el-cee

I will be agreeable - I will try hard to accept that everyone is entitled to think the way they do and have their own opinions and view of life and that just because its different from mine it doesnt mean they are wrong. So, I can say 'you could be right' or 'I hadn't thought of it that way' I dont have to be dete...

navvik · navvik

The A was 100% dependent on me from around 3 years. I have used Al Anon tools and come very far. A in rehab now. I have decided that the best solution is to let the A go. But I am still sick and tired because of the following reasons. 1) A is probably suicidal, cut wrist once (but of course, to catch everyone's...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and wanted to talk. The he is my alcoholic/addict eldest son and I said sure come over because he was going to speak about his progressive awareness of his disease. I'll entertain that and I am honored that he will come visit and can be made to listen. We still have that part of the relationship going...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Step 5 where we admit to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step 5 is a very intimate look at ourselves and allows us added freedom and clarity to continue moving forward in progress towards a better way of life. No matter if we are the sh...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi folks, I'm struggling tonight. My partner has gone on another binge I think, although to be honest I don't know what he's doing. He does this periodically. Phones in sick and takes usually 3 days off work to do his own thing, usually drink. But this is the first time he's not come home. Also he's ta...

MizzB · MizzB

I don't know whether it was his higher power or mine taking over, but yesterday when ABF was in withdrawal, his parents were down and saw exactly how bad he was. Anyway at around 7pm he started to get confused, forgetting where he was. We all decided he needed to go to hospital and his parents took him. I de...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

AH has been guilting me about going to al anon. He says hes not an alcoholic. That im crazy, and I obviously dont know what an alcoholic looks like. I told him Im going because Ive been affected by his drinking but he made me really question myself. I also think he gaslights me. Anyway, on Monday AH brough...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi. I have been reading everyone's posts and find them so helpful. This has been a rough few days. As I shared before I moved out from my home leaving AH at home. He has been telling me for 3 weeks now that he is ready to give up the drugs and alcohol. He wants to come stay with me, the house is rented only till th...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I have so many well meaning friends who have little understanding of life with an active alcoholic. The most common piece of advice I hear is, "You should sit down and talk to him about his drinking and how it affects you". I just nod my head because they don't understand the situation at all. You cann...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses change. We often come to Al-Anon fearful - of others, life, change, the disease, etc. Even though for most of us chaos was a daily event, it was familiar and gave the illusion of 'control'. It was nothing more than that - an illusion. We learn in recovery that we are powerl...

Iamhere · Iamhere

From your sister to another mister, happy birthday to you! I am grateful that you are part of my journey and am wishing you the best day possible! Smile until your cheeks hurt!! (((Hugs)))

totsicle · totsicle

finding its not hard 2 want 2 stay sober but its hard watching him literally kill himself. what kicked my ass into sobriety was the second time he ended up in the hospital with delirium tenebrous. 7\14\2017 was the last drink 4me. had my first aa meeting the very next day. not sure how 2 move forward with h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about gratitude. The author writes about acting on the suggestion of making gratitude lists, and still feeling weighted down by the effects of living with alcoholism. For the author, the important step was beginning to practice gratitude...

joker · joker

I got triggered bad today by the words of the abf. I am very sick, had a bad cold since Sunday and yesterday my asthma started up bad. I hardly slept last night as I had issues breathing all night. By this afternoon, I had to go to see the doctor and he gave me medication to keep my lung open so I can breath and as...

kayS · kayS

Intellectually, I get it - addiction is a disease. In the moment though it's nearly impossible for me to see that my spouses addiction(s) are not a choice or personal attack on myself and our children. I feel like I'm making this so impossibly hard on myself by not figuring out a way to really, truly, ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Had to go see AH today. I took my name off the title of our Ford Expedition, and I needed to give him the title and let him know he has 5 days to turn this into the he "new" owner. Yesterday I sent DS to the house to finish clearing his room of all the mess/junk/possessions. When he came back, he said that his dad...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I am separated from my AH and, while I still get anxiety about the future, I am generally much happier. My departure triggered his decision to go to detox (a nightmare, he was in the hospital for a month) and then to a 28-day inpatient rehab stay. He gets out tomorrow and my daughter will drive th...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

Hello, this is my very first time here and hoping i can find a little bit of advice or insight. My husband and i have been married for 6 years, total of 11 years in our relationship and we have a 5 year old son My husband has had an problem with alcohol for a little over a year now, he's always drank, as have I, ...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I have this grand niece, daughter of one of my nieces and she refuses to give me her phone number so I pm her on face book, trying, offering I should say my love and support and how we need to "draw together" and share our grief /support, etc., being as how we ALL lost someone very special and huge in our lives...

mamalioness · mamalioness

A question was asked about enabling versus genuine loving support. After sleeping on this, this is what I feel about enabling versus genuine support and loving. It is not helping my qualifier if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, I diminish his capabilities. T...

LexieA · LexieA

We are to detact but the facts are the consequences affect my family. If they get a DUI, the transportation and violation charges are a burden to me. He loses his job. We are robbed. The only truly way to detact is not be married to them. This drug needs to be illegal substance. They is absolutely nothing...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Sorry to be so negative today, and please feel free to delete my post if it's not of the right mindset, but GEEEZZZ, THIS DISEASE NEVER QUITS, DOES IT ??? I've been up and down with this stuff with my now adult son for so many years, and just when I think my son is on the right track (not drinking or using, bett...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

My AH is out of control. I had surgery on Monday for kidney stones. It didn't go well and have been suffering for 4 days bc of complications. My husband used me as an excuse to stay home from work for 4 days to take care of me and the children. He has only added another mouth to feed and has provided no care for t...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

When AH starts really getting into trouble because of his drinking and I'm detaching, what do I say? Like if he oversleeps for work and when he wakes up I'm in the living room with the kids. When he comes in in a panic asking why didn't I wake him up...what would you say? Those kinds of situations are starti...

joker · joker

i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is no...

Sorst · Sorst

My older adult sibling and qualifier leads an isolated life. At 65, she is 10 years divorced and the entire focus of her life is her out-of-town children who she rarely sees, but talks to almost daily. She does not seem to care at all about making friends. Its hard for me to not cascade into worrying about...

Bo · Bo

I am not limiting my thoughts or my questions to that one simple question, but more to the nothing changes if nothing changes. I went to my usual Saturday morning meeting. It is an great meeting, one of the best in the northern part of our state. People travel, bypass meetings much closer to them, in orde...

Nicoletta · Nicoletta

Hi everyone...I'm brand new to this so please bare with me. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess the beginning is the place? My ex boyfriend got in touch with me a few weeks ago from rehab. We have a complicated history, as I'm sure most do with addicts. Basically, years ago, while he was completing reh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Today is my AH's B-day and I have ambivalent feelings (Preview) So today is my estranged AH's 53rd birthday. I did post earlier in the week b/c I have strange, ambivalent feelings about today. I feel like I should not ignore it, yet I don't want to engage with him b/c he is still drinking. A couple days ago I thought that maybe Kid and I could take him to dinner. Nothing f...	PosiesandPuppies	9	1050	Sep 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	My AH says he wants a divorce (Preview) he said this this morning over coffee. I am going to run to a meeting after work but I could use some ESH from others on this subject. I mean I'm sort of ok with just letting him go, at this point. I am working the program and I know I'll be fine but I worry about my kids. Any perspectives welcome Thanks!	BethBethBeth	11	1749	Sep 29, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses what our program suggests when violence and abuse occurs in a family affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon doesn't give specific advice about relationships -- We don't advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual membe...	Iamhere	4	2290	Sep 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sad today (Preview) Day after day I am using my tools, feeling in control and better, and then yesterday kind of took me down. Family problems due to my A are escalating as holidays approach, and I learned we cannot reunite as a whole group. Thanks to Alanon I am not devastated, and the good news is that I know I will feel bet...	Lyne	8	1067	Sep 29, 2017 by Lyne
	Angry (Preview) It has been forever since I have posted, or even been here. . . I haven't attended my local meetings lately because they simply don't fit into my schedule. . . I am good about reading my literature daily, and I keep in touch with a couple member of my group That being said I am so flipping angry I could scream...	NayNay	4	2583	Sep 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	Need help with a drug addict (Preview) My boyfriend is an active drug addict, potential dealer and alcoholic. We are very involved with each and I'm very codependent in nature. This morning I woke up to several texts saying he was in the emergency room because he had been beaten up in his apt and had a concussion. I'm assuming based upon t...	roddy	9	1848	Sep 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	Married to a functional alcoholic (Preview) Hello. Very first post here. My question is: "Should I just count my blessings"? I have been married for 25 years. My husband is what I consider to be a functional alcoholic. He has had the same job for 20+ years, and his drinking has never interfered with his ability to go to work each day. He routinely...	maria k	9	563	Sep 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Letting go (Preview) Lazt.night I Lear ex that an ex.boyfriend of mine died. I found out yet another ex boyfriend.diex Some time last year. Both of them died of cancer. The amazing thing is when I received the news I.went straight into forgiveness. I #let go# I can't say I can do that too often. In fact I would have said t...	Maresie	3	512	Sep 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/28/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about Letting Go...The writer talks about their idea to state the Serenity Prayer at the start of the meeting being voted down at a business meeting. When her idea was vetoed, she felt her offended price, and then the Al-anon suggestion about 'principles above personalities' pr...	Iamhere	4	500	Sep 28, 2017 by Skorpi
	not well still (Preview) I am still sick with this cold/asthma that is taking a toil on me. I am so exhausted and feeling so miserable, I can not even stand myself. I guess I just want someone to love me as I go through this sickness and validate me and hold me and just assure I will get through this. I am tired so tired of being strong,...	joker	8	507	Sep 28, 2017 by Skorpi
	Courage to Change September 27 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about living one day at a time. The author shares that they often with for infinite wisdom, to know what is coming, so they can know with confidence how to spend each moment of their lives. But then, they worry that they would spend their life running away from pai...	Skorpi	5	1076	Sep 28, 2017 by Stan1
	When is 'enough enough'? (Preview) Hey guys, My first post on this forum but I'm not new to AA or Alanon. My partner's alcoholism first showed its thirsty little face about ten years ago, when we both decided to get off the drink and get healthy. I could, she couldn't. Since then it has been a rollercoaster of sobriety and not. During that t...	Witchfinder	28	968	Sep 27, 2017 by Jayla
	Feeling crazy & lost of trust (Preview) I'm new here but really need to find a place that I can just let this all go. I've been dating my AGF for about 2 years. There has been many ups and downs to say the least... Last October we took a break from each other. During that time she started talking to another guy. It was difficult when we came back toge...	nicerat13	7	671	Sep 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why do I want him to want me? (Preview) This last 9 months have been a nightmare. We don't live together, share finances or children. It would be so easy to let this go. Yet, it's not. We are still a couple because we wanted to be not because we had to be. He's a mess. He hates me "his words" and wants me to close this chapter of this book and I'm ha...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	9	602	Sep 27, 2017 by Skorpi
	Crazy days (long) (Preview) So I had a tough week last week. Went through to the weekend. Maybe I can get some ESH from the forum... Firstly, mid-week my AH's sister (who has become the "spokesperson" for his side of the family, and the "keeper" of his 401K from his last job) told me that they all seem to notice that when my son and I hav...	PosiesandPuppies	7	532	Sep 27, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The Step One Blues and other things. (Preview) So I got a sponsor a few weeks ago. Started working on the first step. I understand it takes time but I find myself annoyed at how vague a lot of this stuff is. I hear and see comments here and in meetings to the effect of "you'll know when you know." or "trust your HP". SHEESH come on. I know there is a reason so...	WestMan	6	601	Sep 26, 2017 by Maresie25
	Is this typical? (Preview) he screwed up big time and hurt me in a way I've never experienced before. It's been 5 months and he told me last night to F off after I questioned something new I heard. He says I'm mentally ill and should be over it by now. That I'm crazy and acting deranged. Is it tiCal to shift the attention to me? To...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	10	653	Sep 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 9-26 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 26 speaks about the founder of Al-Anon, Lois and how she felt about certain words and life itself. The reading points out that Lois indicated that after looking deeply at herself she could identify that "smugness" was the very worst defect of all, because it is di...	hotrod	5	522	Sep 26, 2017 by Maresie25
	First things first... (Preview) Kia ora koutou... greetings to all... I am planning a weekend trip to the city. Normally leaving home fills me with dread. I have people to see and things to do today. I first went to the city 50 years ago- spent the first three or four years wandering aimlessly. In the end the authorities sent me out to wor...	DavidG	4	583	Sep 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	My apology to my ex abf (Preview) He won't see this because he blocked me and wants to never hear from me again. "I hope you have me blocked. I need to say this but I don't really want you to hear it. I hope you know my pain is tiring. I will work hard to recover from you and what you've done. It is my priority. I have choices here, all...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	2	437	Sep 26, 2017 by Skorpi
	Figuring out who you are (Preview) hi MIP family. Recently I've become better at focusing on myself and it's hit me like a ton of bricks: I've had my head down working and caring for kids for the last 15 years. It's only recently that I even consciously realized I am married to an AH. So, go through some of that shock and grief anger etc abo...	BethBethBeth	11	626	Sep 26, 2017 by LinSC
	Just Realizing there is a Problem (Preview) Hello- I am new here and found this forum in looking for some resources. I am just fully realizing that my husband is an alcoholic and there is a real problem. Admittedly, he is not new to addiction. 9 years ago he injured his back and was prescribed ridiculous quantities of opiates and xanax which wer...	ccane	4	536	Sep 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C, 9/25 (Preview) Working Step 3: The reading discusses that sometimes Step 3, turning our will over to God as we understood Him, is repeated over and over. The writer says there is a reluctance to give in and as such problems are held on to for too long. The writer developed awareness that without HP, things may not wo...	Lyne	3	492	Sep 25, 2017 by maryjane
	C2C Reading 9-24 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 24 speaks about our attitudes and feelings prior to entering program. It suggests that when we arrive in the rooms, we are filled with drama and think that our experiences are unique and that everyone wants to hear the dramatic stories.After a while we discover that th...	hotrod	6	1163	Sep 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Kid's conversation with her A dad (Preview) It wasn't about the words. Love to all. -- Edited by MissM on Sunday 24th of September 2017 10:55:02 AM	MissM	4	569	Sep 24, 2017 by tiredtonite
	off topic (Preview) held a yard sale here in los angeles. owwwwwwwwwwww got a bad sunburn on my face/neck. holding small pity party as it hurts like the devil..anyone want to join party ? a	YARNCRAZY	3	416	Sep 24, 2017 by Lyne
	Hope for Today sept 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the life changing effects of Alanon. Like the writer, I went to alanon convinced that it would help me fix my life and my alcoholic. I thought I would leave meetings and all of a sudden have the answers. My earliest meetings were filled with frustration...	yanksfan51	2	575	Sep 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is my HP in need of amusement today? (Preview) So a casual acquaintance has dropped a visitor to my literal doorstep. Poor kid has a mild intellectual disability plus alcoholism. Quite what I'm supposed to do for and with said kid is beyond me. 29 is not exactly a kid. I'm tempted to call his mother. Gah! Right. Needed to express. He's harmless en...	a4l	13	558	Sep 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-23 Reading (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about our tendency to "react in kind", to different situations that arise. The reading points out that by doing so, we are turning control of our emotions and spiritual being over to another. It suggests that "reacting" in this manner is destructive, andt does not s...	hotrod	5	455	Sep 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Anyone feeling threatened by A coming out of Rehab? (Preview) Starting a new thread from the one I started. Requesting for shares. Do you feel threatened in your own home by A coming out of rehab? I'm having to try and sell my house (luck if I can .. in time) and run. I fear for my health, sanity, and everything else. And many other big fears. However, I have deep conce...	navvik	6	517	Sep 23, 2017 by navvik
	The end (Preview) Hi. Today I have alot to be grateful for. My life is about to change for the better. I am loosing 200 pounds of dead weight and heart ache. My AH left his phone in the truck and asked me to pick it up and bring it to him tomorrow. So of course I looked in his phone. I know I shouldn't have but I have not trusted him s...	Flyfree	8	582	Sep 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Relapse after 9 months (Preview) I'm new to this online forum; just looking for some support for myself. I have been married to my husband 6 years tomorrow, we have been good friends for over 20 (we met in elementary school) and have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has struggled with addiction (poly-addict, mostly alcohol, weed, synthetic we...	Emily Bronwyn	9	677	Sep 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	Just for Today (Preview) I will be agreeable - I will try hard to accept that everyone is entitled to think the way they do and have their own opinions and view of life and that just because its different from mine it doesnt mean they are wrong. So, I can say 'you could be right' or 'I hadn't thought of it that way' I dont have to be dete...	el-cee	10	646	Sep 22, 2017 by Maresie25
	My A in rehab again, sick with anxiety as I have decided to leave. A was 100% dependent (Preview) The A was 100% dependent on me from around 3 years. I have used Al Anon tools and come very far. A in rehab now. I have decided that the best solution is to let the A go. But I am still sick and tired because of the following reasons. 1) A is probably suicidal, cut wrist once (but of course, to catch everyone's...	navvik	8	617	Sep 22, 2017 by navvik
	He called last evening (Preview) and wanted to talk. The he is my alcoholic/addict eldest son and I said sure come over because he was going to speak about his progressive awareness of his disease. I'll entertain that and I am honored that he will come visit and can be made to listen. We still have that part of the relationship going...	Jerry F	13	632	Sep 22, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/22/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Step 5 where we admit to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step 5 is a very intimate look at ourselves and allows us added freedom and clarity to continue moving forward in progress towards a better way of life. No matter if we are the sh...	Iamhere	5	430	Sep 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lonely (Preview) Hi folks, I'm struggling tonight. My partner has gone on another binge I think, although to be honest I don't know what he's doing. He does this periodically. Phones in sick and takes usually 3 days off work to do his own thing, usually drink. But this is the first time he's not come home. Also he's ta...	Lil99	7	550	Sep 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	HP takes over (Preview) I don't know whether it was his higher power or mine taking over, but yesterday when ABF was in withdrawal, his parents were down and saw exactly how bad he was. Anyway at around 7pm he started to get confused, forgetting where he was. We all decided he needed to go to hospital and his parents took him. I de...	MizzB	13	617	Sep 21, 2017 by Maresie
	Irritated (Preview) AH has been guilting me about going to al anon. He says hes not an alcoholic. That im crazy, and I obviously dont know what an alcoholic looks like. I told him Im going because Ive been affected by his drinking but he made me really question myself. I also think he gaslights me. Anyway, on Monday AH brough...	Cmag3	11	618	Sep 21, 2017 by Cmag3
	The start of progress (Preview) Hi. I have been reading everyone's posts and find them so helpful. This has been a rough few days. As I shared before I moved out from my home leaving AH at home. He has been telling me for 3 weeks now that he is ready to give up the drugs and alcohol. He wants to come stay with me, the house is rented only till th...	Flyfree	7	689	Sep 21, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I wish we could "talk it out" (Preview) I have so many well meaning friends who have little understanding of life with an active alcoholic. The most common piece of advice I hear is, "You should sit down and talk to him about his drinking and how it affects you". I just nod my head because they don't understand the situation at all. You cann...	Bethany66	9	1035	Sep 21, 2017 by texas yankee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses change. We often come to Al-Anon fearful - of others, life, change, the disease, etc. Even though for most of us chaos was a daily event, it was familiar and gave the illusion of 'control'. It was nothing more than that - an illusion. We learn in recovery that we are powerl...	Iamhere	1	552	Sep 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Happy Happy Birthday Jerry! (Preview) From your sister to another mister, happy birthday to you! I am grateful that you are part of my journey and am wishing you the best day possible! Smile until your cheeks hurt!! (((Hugs)))	Iamhere	21	689	Sep 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	bf alcoholic & i'm 2 months sober (Preview) finding its not hard 2 want 2 stay sober but its hard watching him literally kill himself. what kicked my ass into sobriety was the second time he ended up in the hospital with delirium tenebrous. 7\14\2017 was the last drink 4me. had my first aa meeting the very next day. not sure how 2 move forward with h...	totsicle	6	522	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change - September 20 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about gratitude. The author writes about acting on the suggestion of making gratitude lists, and still feeling weighted down by the effects of living with alcoholism. For the author, the important step was beginning to practice gratitude...	Skorpi	4	974	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	triggered (Preview) I got triggered bad today by the words of the abf. I am very sick, had a bad cold since Sunday and yesterday my asthma started up bad. I hardly slept last night as I had issues breathing all night. By this afternoon, I had to go to see the doctor and he gave me medication to keep my lung open so I can breath and as...	joker	12	530	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	hard to believe it's a disease (Preview) Intellectually, I get it - addiction is a disease. In the moment though it's nearly impossible for me to see that my spouses addiction(s) are not a choice or personal attack on myself and our children. I feel like I'm making this so impossibly hard on myself by not figuring out a way to really, truly, ...	kayS	16	638	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Happy that I only feel pity... I guess? (Preview) Had to go see AH today. I took my name off the title of our Ford Expedition, and I needed to give him the title and let him know he has 5 days to turn this into the he "new" owner. Yesterday I sent DS to the house to finish clearing his room of all the mess/junk/possessions. When he came back, he said that his dad...	PosiesandPuppies	10	580	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	AH getting out of rehab tomorrow - in need of ESH (Preview) Hi All, I am separated from my AH and, while I still get anxiety about the future, I am generally much happier. My departure triggered his decision to go to detox (a nightmare, he was in the hospital for a month) and then to a 28-day inpatient rehab stay. He gets out tomorrow and my daughter will drive th...	gratefulforafuture	3	472	Sep 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Separated husband currently in rehab, not sure where to go from here. (Preview) Hello, this is my very first time here and hoping i can find a little bit of advice or insight. My husband and i have been married for 6 years, total of 11 years in our relationship and we have a 5 year old son My husband has had an problem with alcohol for a little over a year now, he's always drank, as have I, ...	kimberlyrt	19	1876	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Well THAT sure went "well" (Preview) I have this grand niece, daughter of one of my nieces and she refuses to give me her phone number so I pm her on face book, trying, offering I should say my love and support and how we need to "draw together" and share our grief /support, etc., being as how we ALL lost someone very special and huge in our lives...	mamalioness	8	861	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	enabling. Is it really helping them?? (Preview) A question was asked about enabling versus genuine loving support. After sleeping on this, this is what I feel about enabling versus genuine support and loving. It is not helping my qualifier if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, I diminish his capabilities. T...	mamalioness	6	529	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Consequences (Preview) We are to detact but the facts are the consequences affect my family. If they get a DUI, the transportation and violation charges are a burden to me. He loses his job. We are robbed. The only truly way to detact is not be married to them. This drug needs to be illegal substance. They is absolutely nothing...	LexieA	4	495	Sep 20, 2017 by Maresie
	It never ends, does it ?? (Preview) Sorry to be so negative today, and please feel free to delete my post if it's not of the right mindset, but GEEEZZZ, THIS DISEASE NEVER QUITS, DOES IT ??? I've been up and down with this stuff with my now adult son for so many years, and just when I think my son is on the right track (not drinking or using, bett...	texas yankee	7	523	Sep 20, 2017 by texas yankee
	A new low (Preview) My AH is out of control. I had surgery on Monday for kidney stones. It didn't go well and have been suffering for 4 days bc of complications. My husband used me as an excuse to stay home from work for 4 days to take care of me and the children. He has only added another mouth to feed and has provided no care for t...	Isthisreallife	9	1294	Sep 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	How to respond? (Preview) When AH starts really getting into trouble because of his drinking and I'm detaching, what do I say? Like if he oversleeps for work and when he wakes up I'm in the living room with the kids. When he comes in in a panic asking why didn't I wake him up...what would you say? Those kinds of situations are starti...	Cmag3	8	644	Sep 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	want to rip ex apart (Preview) i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is no...	joker	7	625	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	Responsible v. Detached with Love (Preview) My older adult sibling and qualifier leads an isolated life. At 65, she is 10 years divorced and the entire focus of her life is her out-of-town children who she rarely sees, but talks to almost daily. She does not seem to care at all about making friends. Its hard for me to not cascade into worrying about...	Sorst	11	720	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	Nothing changes if nothing changes...what does that mean to you? (Preview) I am not limiting my thoughts or my questions to that one simple question, but more to the nothing changes if nothing changes. I went to my usual Saturday morning meeting. It is an great meeting, one of the best in the northern part of our state. People travel, bypass meetings much closer to them, in orde...	Bo	23	2926	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	New here...relationship with my 'ex' (Preview) Hi everyone...I'm brand new to this so please bare with me. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess the beginning is the place? My ex boyfriend got in touch with me a few weeks ago from rehab. We have a complicated history, as I'm sure most do with addicts. Basically, years ago, while he was completing reh...	Nicoletta	10	472	Sep 19, 2017 by Nicoletta
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.