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A share, and some fear... just a little...
(Preview)
Hi y'all, kia ora... good health... I am at a point in life when everything is okay- as good as it could be. My SO is okay too- after addressing her addiction 5 or 6 years ago... there will always be "moments" in a relationship- but these moments are getting fewer and far between. I was going to talk about...
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DavidG
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4
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586
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/14/17
(Preview)
Today's reading is about dealing with loss and change in life. We are reminded that there are many forms of loss - divorce, incarceration, death, sickness and even emotional change. With the help of Al-Anon fellowship and our program, we become aware that we can get through anything with a spiritu...
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Iamhere
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2
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378
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Court update and feelings
(Preview)
I am blessed today. How long will my happiness continue. I hope permanently. Just keep the active alcoholic away from my home and my space! I have had it with their insanity! I am loving the quite so much! Just love it! I called the court today as it was the alcoholic first appearance for assaulting me an...
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joker
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1
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415
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mistake.....learn the lesson
(Preview)
So here I am learning yet another lesson about living with an AH! And yes learning a lot about myself. I got the heads up from child that AH had been drinking again (over a month of "trying" to stay sober, after coming back into the house after being asked to leave) Child explained how AH was found passed ou...
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Curlyblu
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11
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572
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Looking for info on 'wet brain'
(Preview)
Hi All.... I'm just trying to find all I can about 'wet brain'. My roommate and best friend had a seizure of some type about a month ago. After being admitted to the hospital, she was diagnosed as toxic. The hospital detoxed her and released her 4 days later. When she got home her memory, especially...
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msmith6352
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21
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1022
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Courage to Change December 13
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about balance and the slogan "Live and let live". The author compares a balanced life with Al-Anon to the thrilling balance of flying down a hill on a bicycle. Embracing and thanking their Higher Power for whatever life brings is one of the keys to li...
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Skorpi
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4
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631
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LETTING GO
(Preview)
i too am suffering through a cold but after reading several posts here,decided to post myself. my struggle which is to remember to let my boyfriend do his own thing without me fearing he will think less of me. neither him or i have any addiction issues. i have all my old negative tapes that continue to run...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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387
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What about the children
(Preview)
I am a strong Alanon believer and I know you are not supposed to advise people. However Iâm in this really difficult situation. My 31 year old daughter is an alcoholic the whole past year has been a roller coaster ride. Sheâs been to detox 3 times, output therapy 1 time and then finally a 60 day rehab. She h...
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Seeking freedom
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4
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416
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Why am I surprised .. LOL
(Preview)
My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing wit...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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755
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my day
(Preview)
Hi, guys, I would appreciate some support today or at least no bashing, ha ha. I know we don't do bashing in Alanon, but right now I feel like maybe you folks will make an exception just for me ... Might be my large ego... I called my ex-abf not long ago over the phone because a thought has been nagging me for a...
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Aline
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10
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466
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I just don't get it
(Preview)
Good afternoon, I'm really struggling with understanding how none of this is personal to me. On one hand I completely get it - my husband recognizes everything that is on the line. I believe that he loves us and our life and doesn't want to lose it. So the only rationale explanation for his continue...
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kayS
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10
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530
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he's moving on - I am the one having trouble
(Preview)
My qualifier has been sober since September with two little lapses in between. He's good, happy, moving on, sober, optimistic, all of that. Like he's GREAT. I on the other hand and not good. I feel insane. I feel so mad at him all the time. He barely wants to speak to me. He's like - I try to tell you about the...
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bzz123
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5
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407
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The Relapse: The decision
(Preview)
So, ABF is in relapse. He's delusional, thinking it's just a lapse. He believes the group CBT is working. He promised to get individual CBT. I don't believe him. I've heard it too many times. So, the dilemma... If I leave him... I have to deal with the guilt of making him homeless I have to look after the...
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MizzB
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9
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504
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Fear at Christmas
(Preview)
When I think back to Christmas before Alanon there were some good memories, im trying hard to remember it wasn't all bad but the drinking seemed to taint everything for me, every memory even when the kids were small and it was all magical. my mind was never fully on the kids or Christmas. Its as if alcohol...
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el-cee
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2
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343
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The disease takes a friend of mine (I hate it!)
(Preview)
A friend of mine passed away yesterday AM due to multi organ failure and a stomach infection as a result of his alcoholism. I was close to his wife, actually, as she was a rock at many of our AL Anon meetings and she and I had traveled to a few Christian women's retreats together that her church organized....
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andromeda
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10
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414
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ODAT Reading 12-12-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for December 12 speaks about our tendency to blame others for any difficulty that we encounter. The reading points out that we must realize that every time we feel that someone has affected us, that at least part of our unhappiness is due to the way we reacted . It suggests that we are n...
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hotrod
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4
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448
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Jekyl & Hyde..
(Preview)
today I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and sad. I'm so confused with the behaviour of my AH. The past few days have been awful. Our fighting escalated- I totally engaged in the taunting, bullying behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore. His stress at work has increased, and as such he's using me as an o...
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Elabella
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26
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603
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It's the most wonderful time of the year...
(Preview)
...unless you live with an alcoholic. BF is still in recovery (he's out tonight so that may very well change) but there are now frequent events where there is drinking and drunks using peer pressure to try to get him to drink. I don't understand what his barrier is to just saying "I don't drink" but appa...
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MizzB
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8
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597
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Not really Al-anon, but MAYBE a tad???? Ya think????
(Preview)
WEll I told you all I had met a guy in the grocery store and we started with email...my suggestion and he was great with that....test the waters over cyberspace, however we did exchange phone numbers and I realized that I goofed..I gave him my business phone instead of my pers. phone, so I CALLED...left...
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mamalioness
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5
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440
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Staying on my side of the street
(Preview)
This is not an easy task for me to do. My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences. She came home this week...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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383
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Relief
(Preview)
I have been doing lots of self care, since 9 days today that the alcoholic assaulted me and forced out the house. I must say life has been bliss, just love the quite and sanity. No more drunkenness and meanness and angry outburst at me, no more listening to madness, talking to self and having endless disc...
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joker
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2
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329
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after months of a successful detox and rehab - relapse!
(Preview)
Hi All, I left my marriage six months ago because my husband's alcoholism had caused him to decline both physically and mentally. My departure shocked him into entering detox (a life threatening experience for him) and rehab. When he came out, he was much better and I allowed myself to be convinced t...
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gratefulforafuture
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8
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433
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C2C, 12/11
(Preview)
Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...
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Lyne
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3
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339
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Will the real me please stand up!
(Preview)
Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...
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DavidG
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8
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682
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I Was Gonna....
(Preview)
I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...
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SoggySlippers
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6
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487
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Detachment examples?
(Preview)
Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...
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jtpickle
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5
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734
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7/11 Happy Dance
(Preview)
I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...
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Jerry F
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5
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490
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Live and Let Live vs. Financial Decisions
(Preview)
How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?
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jtpickle
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3
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432
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Overhall of thinking
(Preview)
Its been a week today, that the alcoholic beat me, held me in the room and faced criminal charges for what he did. I have been having a rough week, shaking like a leaf, from anxiety. Things are so wonderful now, calm, quite, no crazy insane drunk screaming, yelling, hollering, chasing me around the hous...
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joker
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3
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617
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Hope for Today Dec 11
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading centers around the idea of keep coming back. The writer mentioned that when first coming to alanon he/she was whining, complaining and stuck on why me. After some time and program work the answer came back- why not me? As I was reading this I remembered that when I...
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yanksfan51
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2
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352
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12/09/17 ctc
(Preview)
helllo everyone,hope all is well, ctc=courage to change asks us to reflect back unto tradition eleven in which alanons public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion what this tradition saying to me is that my 1st responsibility in alanon is to learn to kee...
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lookingup
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3
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337
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OPEN LETTER FROM THE ALCOHOLIC
(Preview)
Monday, December 28, 2009Open Letter from the Alcoholic The chairperson at a meeting I attended recently, who is also a member of AA, shared on this "Open Letter to the Alcoholic," which I've always thought was very powerful. I hadn't read it for a while, so it was a good reminder to me. The...
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Mimi3
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13
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34188
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The children thing
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I feel really sad that I have no children. I always thought that one day my partner and I would move to a bigger house and start a family.
The house move hasn't happened, have tried to move a couple of times, but each time it fell through he'd spent the deposit money we were trying to save on...
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Lil99
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7
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558
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Three weeks in - some lightbulb moments
(Preview)
I broke up with my ABF 3 weeks ago. Am still feeling sad and intensely guilty about not being able to "save" him. This was my first lightbulb moment - apparently I will never be able to save him! Step one - I am powerless over alcohol. All those years of hiding it, arguing about it, making him promise not to d...
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Takotsubo
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1
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369
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Prayers toward Hawaii...
(Preview)
~*Service Worker*~Status: OnlinePosts: 13342Date: 1m ago Prayers toward Hawaii...Permalink Reply Quote More Edit PostDelete Post When you can as you can. We have recovery family friends; a mother and son from a family history with alcoholism. I knew of them from the near neighborhood...
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Jerry F
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7
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533
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Happy Birthday John F.
(Preview)
I just got a Facebook notification that today was our founder John F.'s birthday. I'm not sure how old he would have been today, but I know he was close to my age (55) when he passed last Spring. When I think of OP_Present (John's nickname on MIP) and the awe that I had of him when I first came on MIP back in 200...
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Overcome
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10
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3101
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/8/17
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about Alateen and Al-Anon. It suggests that Alateen members are often doubtful of adults in recovery. There can be a judgement that Al-Anon adults are sure to have the same sick attitudes as their parents. What the writer learns with time and recovery is t...
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Iamhere
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2
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417
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Recovery can suck as much as drinking!!
(Preview)
At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...
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Curlyblu
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10
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569
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Alcoholic everywhere
(Preview)
I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...
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joker
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2
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479
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/7/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...
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Iamhere
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1
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457
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Lord's Prayer
(Preview)
My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer".
I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...
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malia
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34
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9231
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Ive been to 1 alanon meeting and left feeling i have a problem and caring too much is an addiction?? Head is melted !!
(Preview)
Need help understanding this
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Klopp96
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12
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1299
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Denial and projection - normal?
(Preview)
Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...
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StrugglingMamaBear
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4
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709
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Cheating and Never taking responsibility for what they do
(Preview)
The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...
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CarlyH
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16
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785
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Processing thoughts of what happened
(Preview)
Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...
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joker
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3
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470
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Today's Hope December 6, 2017
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...
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Skorpi
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3
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498
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Sex and the recovering Alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi -
I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...
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JS
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22
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6467
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Question about Service and Anonymity
(Preview)
Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...
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Skorpi
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5
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615
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I Really Think I'm Losing My Mind
(Preview)
Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...
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SoggySlippers
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17
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3784
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Trauma and drinking
(Preview)
It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...
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Doodlesworth
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21
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816
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AH is shoplifting with our young son - how do I respond?
(Preview)
My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...
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AnnieFenk321
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9
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688
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The habit of feeling wrong
(Preview)
Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...
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Aline
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8
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625
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ODAT Reading 12-5-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...
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hotrod
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4
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507
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Does anyone ever stay married to their AH?
(Preview)
My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...
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Cjm42
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7
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618
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Courage to Change reading 12-2-2017
(Preview)
Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...
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hotrod
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6
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677
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Decison time
(Preview)
I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...
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joker
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5
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833
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all hell has broken loose
(Preview)
omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....
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joker
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7
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643
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C2C, 12/4
(Preview)
Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...
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Lyne
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4
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552
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Step 12 posted
(Preview)
Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...
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hotrod
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0
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383
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Sunday Night Meeting
(Preview)
I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters
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muddy
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0
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337
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