Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

This is insanity of this desease,in the past he done just that he left with out saying a word just vanished in thin air,this time my neighbor had called him to come over and fix their fridge that had been broken for several mthis,I feel crazy for posting my last post of he left,I'm sorry do sorry for that ,m...

bryalm · bryalm

Hi All; I have been living with an A for 3 years and have been married since August last year. My family and I have known about his issue almost from the get go and have called him on it on occasion (me more so than my folks). During conversations, he has admitted he has a problem and then the next day he feel...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Just got off the phone with my AH. My heart is hurting. By the end of the conversation, I was fairly sure he had been drinking - at 10 am, which is unusual - but as usual, am not totally sure. Doesn't really matter - he acted crazy whether drunk or not. He is so angry that I moved out. One moment he "total...

lookingup · lookingup

How is this done ? After listening to my addicts and seeing them day in day out their talk being mostly about where,how what ever in to get to a doctor or find them a doctor to get what they call their meds,to keep from getting or being dope sick ,even my next door neighbors are in it,it's like it's their exis...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Well, I think the plan is that One of the 3 guys that mt AH meets with on Wednesday's for bible Study, is going to talk with him. The other guy is going to stay home. This guy is about 15 years older then him (in his 70's) and my AH thinks a lot of him. So Hopefully, my AH will be open minded enough to listen and tak...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Cause there wasn't ever anything I could do about it which drove me insane. My present wife told me this morning that when she was coming home from down town she turned a corner and saw a woman walking on a town side walk with a larger parrot on each shoulder, a puppy in a shopping basket and another on a le...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

hello friends, It has been a turbulent week. I had asked my husband to leave. he did. Came back for one night for a job interview. the next day we had a horrible fight where I said I was completely done. I said to get his own place and a job and a urine test for sobriety or he couldn't come home. So a few d...

Inga · Inga

OK, my AH has been fired from every good job he has ever had for the past 12 years, for being completely irresponsible------(a trait of an alcoholic????? I wonder) .....so he gets drunk every night on his way home from his menial job. Then he screams at me about 3 times a week saying I should divorce him a...

NOGGIN · NOGGIN

I am new to this site, actually I have never posted on any board or chatroom at all but feel so desperate and lost I dont know where to turn.I have been with M for 15 years ( married for a year and half). Id say I noticed a problem with his drink about a year ago which became a constant source of conflict. Becaus...

Shazz · Shazz

My husband has been in out of recovery his whole life for alcoholism and drug addiction. As long as I've known him I have never seen him drink or do drugs until now. I have been seeing symptom's of drug abuse emerging. Nothing tangible just deceitful behavior regarding finances and symptoms which le...

idontevenknow · idontevenknow

How do I know my husband has a drinking problem? I have become so confused. I don't even know what's normal anymore. He drinks beer. Sometimes 3 a night, occasionally 10+ on weekdays. Weekends might be a case or more, depending on what's going on. Sometimes, though, there's a lull. He'll take it easy f...

petert7666 · petert7666

Hey guys, I'm putting out the feelers. I am chairing my first ever Al-anon meeting tomorrow (March 7) The topic is Loneliness & I am looking for a couple of inspirational readings from "Courage to change". Can anybody out there suggest some? Thanks in advance

Fooled · Fooled

My exah is a dry drunk. He doesn't work the steps He says he has a HP but doesn't really do anything about. exah and current AH do not get a long. (No surprise there) Exah is notorious for changing plans and failing to follow through with his obligations to our children. My children 2 are adult an...

Beanie1 · Beanie1

hi, first time I've ever posted on any forum but I suppose that's what desperation does to you?! i have 2 young children and my husband has been drinking out of control for the last 4 years. It started off as just annoying excessive drinking but gradually developed into more. He 'secretly' drinks vodka...

lookingup · lookingup

He left didn't say bye or nothing or anything to anybody just up and left,ha,yes that hurt,and I thought I'd get a bye talk to you later at least,that was a blow,I locked my doors,and want to cry.guess he thought it didn't matter ,ha.im not getting it I guess just got to get past these hurt feelings of feel...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

I have been feeling even worse, physically, than usual - resulting in increased hopelessness and desperation. I think I have mentioned how awful my family is - and they are the ones I am staying with while trying to figure out my health. Anyways - Friday night I was in such need of support, I reached out t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I entertain myself I swear and seriously there is a reason I'm not allowed out without a chaperone. Even the people at my past work know the story in terms of me keeping it real .. LOL. So this past week well since my assignment ended, I have been spending a lot of girl time with girlfriends in the area and...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 6 speaks about having our " needs met" and that nobody truly knows what's in our mind and heart, unless we express it. It suggests that we cannot expect other people to meet all of our needs even if I make them clear. That was my problem I always thought my hubby coul...

lookingup · lookingup

My abf came over for a visit and cooked breakfast for me and my addict sister,I can't let him move back in ,my sister can't believe I kicked him out knowing he is going to prison in 3 or4 myths for years,sister says its non of her bus.but she can't see how I can kick a man down when he is already down and going to...

Lovingpeace · Lovingpeace

I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...

Britta · Britta

So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...

lookingup · lookingup

Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...

Peace warrier · Peace warrier

I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...

Fooled · Fooled

When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...

manas · manas

Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...

Inga · Inga

Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...

joker · joker

I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...

racer411 · racer411

I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...

el-cee · el-cee

I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...

CFGirl70 · CFGirl70

I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...

Dawn1118 · Dawn1118

I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...

joker · joker

I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...

Fooled · Fooled

I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...

el-cee · el-cee

Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...

lookingup · lookingup

He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM

joker · joker

I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...

joker · joker

I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...

Just Kris · Just Kris

Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...

joker · joker

I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...

joker · joker

Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...

lookingup · lookingup

What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...

lookingup · lookingup

My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...

lookingup · lookingup

S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...

lookingup · lookingup

So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He never left (Preview) This is insanity of this desease,in the past he done just that he left with out saying a word just vanished in thin air,this time my neighbor had called him to come over and fix their fridge that had been broken for several mthis,I feel crazy for posting my last post of he left,I'm sorry do sorry for that ,m...	lookingup	1	643	Mar 7, 2016 by Mattie
	Seeking Advice (Preview) Hi All; I have been living with an A for 3 years and have been married since August last year. My family and I have known about his issue almost from the get go and have called him on it on occasion (me more so than my folks). During conversations, he has admitted he has a problem and then the next day he feel...	bryalm	8	818	Mar 7, 2016 by Mattie
	stuck in craziness and the logistics always stump me (Preview) Just got off the phone with my AH. My heart is hurting. By the end of the conversation, I was fairly sure he had been drinking - at 10 am, which is unusual - but as usual, am not totally sure. Doesn't really matter - he acted crazy whether drunk or not. He is so angry that I moved out. One moment he "total...	oceanpine	2	646	Mar 7, 2016 by Bettina2
	Keeping our side of the street clean ???? (Preview) How is this done ? After listening to my addicts and seeing them day in day out their talk being mostly about where,how what ever in to get to a doctor or find them a doctor to get what they call their meds,to keep from getting or being dope sick ,even my next door neighbors are in it,it's like it's their exis...	lookingup	2	611	Mar 7, 2016 by lookingup
	Intervention (of sorts) scheduled for Wednesday (Preview) Well, I think the plan is that One of the 3 guys that mt AH meets with on Wednesday's for bible Study, is going to talk with him. The other guy is going to stay home. This guy is about 15 years older then him (in his 70's) and my AH thinks a lot of him. So Hopefully, my AH will be open minded enough to listen and tak...	Tired-of-it	5	559	Mar 7, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	Feeling compassion and concern and have turned that over to HP (Preview) Cause there wasn't ever anything I could do about it which drove me insane. My present wife told me this morning that when she was coming home from down town she turned a corner and saw a woman walking on a town side walk with a larger parrot on each shoulder, a puppy in a shopping basket and another on a le...	Jerry F	4	522	Mar 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	a positive surprise. (Preview) hello friends, It has been a turbulent week. I had asked my husband to leave. he did. Came back for one night for a job interview. the next day we had a horrible fight where I said I was completely done. I said to get his own place and a job and a urine test for sobriety or he couldn't come home. So a few d...	Rachel Blue	5	469	Mar 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why does my AH say this???? (Preview) OK, my AH has been fired from every good job he has ever had for the past 12 years, for being completely irresponsible------(a trait of an alcoholic????? I wonder) .....so he gets drunk every night on his way home from his menial job. Then he screams at me about 3 times a week saying I should divorce him a...	Inga	18	1159	Mar 7, 2016 by el-cee
	confused and lost (Preview) I am new to this site, actually I have never posted on any board or chatroom at all but feel so desperate and lost I dont know where to turn.I have been with M for 15 years ( married for a year and half). Id say I noticed a problem with his drink about a year ago which became a constant source of conflict. Becaus...	NOGGIN	9	639	Mar 7, 2016 by NOGGIN
	Can we speak about Drug addicts as well? #newtothisissue #scared #worried #unsure (Preview) My husband has been in out of recovery his whole life for alcoholism and drug addiction. As long as I've known him I have never seen him drink or do drugs until now. I have been seeing symptom's of drug abuse emerging. Nothing tangible just deceitful behavior regarding finances and symptoms which le...	Shazz	7	875	Mar 7, 2016 by lookingup
	First Post. How do I know it's alcoholism? (Preview) How do I know my husband has a drinking problem? I have become so confused. I don't even know what's normal anymore. He drinks beer. Sometimes 3 a night, occasionally 10+ on weekdays. Weekends might be a case or more, depending on what's going on. Sometimes, though, there's a lull. He'll take it easy f...	idontevenknow	8	707	Mar 7, 2016 by Rachel Blue
	Looking for inspiration (Preview) Hey guys, I'm putting out the feelers. I am chairing my first ever Al-anon meeting tomorrow (March 7) The topic is Loneliness & I am looking for a couple of inspirational readings from "Courage to change". Can anybody out there suggest some? Thanks in advance	petert7666	6	559	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	making some progress (Preview) My exah is a dry drunk. He doesn't work the steps He says he has a HP but doesn't really do anything about. exah and current AH do not get a long. (No surprise there) Exah is notorious for changing plans and failing to follow through with his obligations to our children. My children 2 are adult an...	Fooled	3	860	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	He's left but have I done the right thing? (Preview) hi, first time I've ever posted on any forum but I suppose that's what desperation does to you?! i have 2 young children and my husband has been drinking out of control for the last 4 years. It started off as just annoying excessive drinking but gradually developed into more. He 'secretly' drinks vodka...	Beanie1	13	793	Mar 6, 2016 by oceanpine
	He left (Preview) He left didn't say bye or nothing or anything to anybody just up and left,ha,yes that hurt,and I thought I'd get a bye talk to you later at least,that was a blow,I locked my doors,and want to cry.guess he thought it didn't matter ,ha.im not getting it I guess just got to get past these hurt feelings of feel...	lookingup	2	449	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Dry Well for Water (Preview) I have been feeling even worse, physically, than usual - resulting in increased hopelessness and desperation. I think I have mentioned how awful my family is - and they are the ones I am staying with while trying to figure out my health. Anyways - Friday night I was in such need of support, I reached out t...	Jaclyn	28	1157	Mar 6, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Funny for the day .. (Preview) I entertain myself I swear and seriously there is a reason I'm not allowed out without a chaperone. Even the people at my past work know the story in terms of me keeping it real .. LOL. So this past week well since my assignment ended, I have been spending a lot of girl time with girlfriends in the area and...	SerenityRUS	3	627	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading March-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 6 speaks about having our " needs met" and that nobody truly knows what's in our mind and heart, unless we express it. It suggests that we cannot expect other people to meet all of our needs even if I make them clear. That was my problem I always thought my hubby coul...	hotrod	1	516	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling lost (Preview) My abf came over for a visit and cooked breakfast for me and my addict sister,I can't let him move back in ,my sister can't believe I kicked him out knowing he is going to prison in 3 or4 myths for years,sister says its non of her bus.but she can't see how I can kick a man down when he is already down and going to...	lookingup	3	490	Mar 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Between a rock and a hard place! (Preview) I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...	Lovingpeace	5	892	Mar 6, 2016 by Lyne
	Need to vent (Preview) So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...	Britta	5	616	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	living my life! (Preview) Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...	mjferg	4	548	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Reading posts (Preview) Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...	lookingup	3	534	Mar 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Potentially Good News (Preview) So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...	SerenityRUS	6	628	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back Soon All - Eye Infection (Preview) Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...	Iamhere	5	537	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to this forum (Preview) I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...	Peace warrier	3	484	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Its a start (Preview) When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...	Fooled	10	718	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Should the A stay with me or with his Sister? (Preview) Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...	manas	15	928	Mar 6, 2016 by manas
	Does anyone feel so depressed THEY drink? (Preview) Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...	Inga	24	1020	Mar 6, 2016 by Inga
	what is my part (Preview) I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...	joker	3	767	Mar 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Lying (Preview) I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...	racer411	6	733	Mar 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	This one is about A (Preview) So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...	missmeliss	12	861	Mar 5, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change reading 3-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...	hotrod	1	531	Mar 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Judgements (Preview) Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...	Mirandac	5	626	Mar 4, 2016 by Mirandac
	Humility (Preview) I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...	el-cee	7	659	Mar 4, 2016 by LinSC
	Need advice... (Preview) I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...	CFGirl70	4	670	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Everything really happens for a reason .. (Preview) I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...	SerenityRUS	5	710	Mar 4, 2016 by newleaf66
	change kicks up the anxiety doesn't it? (Preview) I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...	newleaf66	9	775	Mar 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am new here (Preview) I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...	Dawn1118	7	862	Mar 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Obsessing again (Preview) I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...	joker	2	699	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/4/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...	Iamhere	1	639	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this but not new to dealing with it (Preview) I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...	Fooled	5	661	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Self pity is the enemy (Preview) Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...	el-cee	15	2137	Mar 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Abf has moved out (Preview) He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...	lookingup	4	656	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Pina Air Museum (Preview) We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM	Cathyinaz	10	858	Mar 3, 2016 by Jen61
	active alcoholism behaviors (Preview) I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...	joker	9	818	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	Feeling of joy (Preview) I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...	joker	1	642	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	New here - introducing myself (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...	Just Kris	4	720	Mar 3, 2016 by Mattie
	PROUD OF SELF (Preview) Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...	YARNCRAZY	1	525	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Funny of the day. (Preview) This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...	Bloodshotbetty	5	648	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	who am I (Preview) I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...	joker	2	518	Mar 3, 2016 by missmeliss
	Hurt?....not quite...disappointed? let me tell you. (Preview) Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...	Jerry F	14	778	Mar 3, 2016 by el-cee
	And in happier news... (Preview) I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...	missmeliss	2	609	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...	Iamhere	3	592	Mar 3, 2016 by newleaf66
	Look at all these circuses that aren't mine!!! (Preview) There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...	missmeliss	3	623	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Not talking the blame (Preview) Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...	joker	0	564	Mar 3, 2016 by joker
	What if he don't leave,jade is what I'm useing (Preview) What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...	lookingup	0	562	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Am I having stinking thinking or what (Preview) My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...	lookingup	0	497	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	My tools for today (Preview) S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...	lookingup	3	540	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Updates on me (Preview) So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...	lookingup	4	565	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.