Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

andromeda · andromeda

I decided to take my XAH back to court. He has told me he will not pay for our son's private school next year but he never provided me with a better solution and didn't move on the suggestions that he made. I went to a lawyer who helped me draft a petition to enforce school choice and in the process, the lawy...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C speaks of step 4, and the value of recognising our assets within our fearless and searching moral inventory. It suggests that although at first many of us cannot see the value in recognising our assets, these are in fact the foundation on which our new life is being built; if we don't learn...

el-cee · el-cee

I have had a resentment swirling around my mind for days, Ive let it go, discussed it over and over with non alanon people, let it go, took it back, let it go and then I have manipulated a conversation through being passive aggressive and the person of course then asked the question 'whats wrong' and then...

Daniela214 · Daniela214

both my brothers have had addiction for about 15 years now. The brother I'm closest too or the one I always wanted a relationship with went to prison for 2 years and got out about 1.5 years ago and had been clean for about 3 years or so. He relapsed badly about 6 months ago and is back on the dark Path. My fathe...

gabigail · gabigail

just when you think things are getting better with this disease, I am knocked back down to Step 1. This has been a tough week. My A has been sober now for 42 days, but this disease keeps unfolding into this seemingly impossible way to a cure. I know it can only be arrested. But I hate seeing all the physical s...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- first- thank you all for your support and encouragement yesterday. It was a great reminder to me that we are human beings who stumble, trip, fall and are lifted up again by those around us. My house is officially on the market now and was shown once last night. That has contrib...

el-cee · el-cee

I am trying to let go of a resentment I have this morning. I woke up with it and cant shake it and I know it will block the good in today so I thought I would bring it here and see if I can let it go. I dont even know if I have the right to have it. Im annoyed and angry at a persons reactions and watching dysfunction th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Real quick. I just want to say that I had a rough week but it is working out. I just had to wait for awhile for something to happen & trust in God. It was worth waiting for. I am blessed. I never had it so good. I just have to believe & take it one day at a time. Thanks MIP!

Teddybear1 · Teddybear1

My husband has recently (under duress from me) sought help from his doctor for his alcoholism. His doctor has referred him to a specialist alcohol dependence team. This is after years of him drinking to excess and in the last couple of years drinking in secret and drinking at any and every opportuni...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

decided not to tell new guy about XAH's call but thought XAH deserves some reconition after 25 yrs, so printed simple note and sent it. thanking him for all the concerts, trips and gifts i recieved from him. Also thanking him for the support when i was sick and also support when i was grieving the loss of m...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

hi everybody- i haven't posted in a while other than my Tuesday shares. I am having a hard time today. About to put my house on the market, and after almostvthree years apart and my ex AH begging and pleading with me he has now met someone new. There is no earthly reason that I am bothered by this but I am h...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

I am taking a trip with my mother to visit my sister. My mother is elderly and wants to visit my sister in alaska one more time. So I volunteered to go with her. Now I know its a very dumb idea. My mother is an alcholi and severely codependent and nasty with her tongue at times. My sister and I have suffer...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about sponsoring, and how we might reject the idea of sponsoring someone because we believe that we don't have enough recovery or, wqe don't have enough to offer another person. The reading suggests that our HP brings into our lives people that can help us grow, so if someone asks us to sp...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62328663/alanon-ste...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hello and good evening to all I am looking for some suggestions from anyone who has experienced being a sponsor. I have been in Al anon for 3 years and I've worked the steps and traditions with a sponsor. I was recently asked by a newcomer if I could sponsor them a month ago but I told her I felt I wasn't rea...

pixie · pixie

The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...

Hope floats · Hope floats

I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...

LinSC · LinSC

What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...

wendy010989 · wendy010989

Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...

LinSC · LinSC

Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM

andromeda · andromeda

Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...

ConfusedMom2605 · ConfusedMom2605

My daughter and son-in-law were a few years sober. They have been having hard times financially in the last couple of months. He lost his job as a result of taking prescribed pain pills for a swollen ankle. He doctor shopped and became addicted quickly. They both avoided this as if it wasn't happeni...

Carrot · Carrot

Hello everyone, this is the first time I've ever participated in something like this -- where I'm seeking advice about my problems. I usually just hide everything bc I am embarrassed it is happening to me and I'm having a difficult time accepting truth. I have been married 15 months to my husband who ha...

Iamhere · Iamhere

A friend of mine posted this prayer on Facebook.....just wanted to share it here - it's a lovely prayer!!The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.Erase the will nots, may nots, migh...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I love and embrace my healthy anger, I am no longer a doormat. I am still a little prickly, i do not people Please or hand any one else my power, Anymore. This program has given me so much Inner healing. I now have good strong boundaries. i still do not like conflict but will forge Ahead if its needed to p...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family and TGIF!!! Today's reading is all about finding miracles and seeing our success in that which happens each day, big or small. The reading starts out with a fable about a farmer who is wanting to increase production of eggs from his hens. He decides to charm them all day long,...

KT2015 · KT2015

Oh I've been angry this week. Angry angry angry! It all came to a head today and now it doesn't have such a hold on me. My mom did something unkind to me and I took it personally, my AH was holding a resentment towards me....and I took it personally, my boss got annoyed and sent me a critical email and .......

lookingup · lookingup

hi everybody ,been missing my home group here,missing you all,I've been checking and reading a lot in the aca online group,very awesome I saw myself over n over in the laundry lists,scary at 1st.i accepted it,and went on about my wanting to learn more.ive also had moving on my mind last few days,im 53 y...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I got so fed up this morning w my AH. It was over some petty thing & I lost it! He said I said. I yelled. Tried to defend myself really.long story. I cried apologized for my behavior my side of the street. He eventually got quiet & sad. The thing is he made a statement that said that how did he put up w me...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special. I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special... Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was st...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I remember hearing the saying,The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.Today this feels very powerful. There is no such thing as drinking normally in our alcoholic home. There is drinking until its gone, and then drinking some more, and then getting sick and s...

lisa sa · lisa sa

Hi All I am new to Alanon and so you may all be way ahead of me on this. I made a decision about 3 months ago that I have to leave my abf of 10 years, we have 2 small boys. However due to financial and practical issues I cant leave now and so I'm trying to use the steps to make it bearable, and to put myself in the best...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's courage to change reading is about honesty. The reminder ---- "I know that honesty is an essential part of the Twelve Steps. I am willing to be more honest with myself today." Today's quote ---- "Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?" Being honest in recovery takes courage, but i...

marysmommy · marysmommy

Hi- I'm new here. My H is a problem drinker, who will go weeks with no issues then suddenly binge drink. When he binge drinks he embarrasses himself, accidentally damages other people's property, etc. He is never violent, though he does have drunk behaviors that can alarm me. One of those is follo...

Fedora · Fedora

So I had one good day of detachment. Now I'm percolating in a darker space but I came here to vent momentarily. Here's a family milestone nobody wants to achieve: the first time someone tells your kids "your daddy got drunk and passed out and the police came"! Kids got this from their cousin. The story...

sisterbob · sisterbob

Apologies in advance for this will be a bit lengthy. My sister is the youngest of the family. She is college educated, twice married and divorced, has 3 beautiful and healthy children, and a heroin addict. Life finally caught up to her a few years ago; she lost custody of her children and was senten...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have just called my uni and finally gotten through- to a new girl who was relaying a conversation between me and the other girl who is "investigating" my case. The 3rd hand information I was given (no, she couldn't come to the phone apparently) was that the person who can make the final decision on my ca...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c discusses the fact that many of us arrive in al-anon preoccupied with what he/she/they did. The reading suggests that when we blame others for our unpleasant feelings, we give away our power to them. It rightly points out that no-one can make me feel anything except for myself. When we foc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

If things getting any better, I don't know what I am going to do. My sober AH is behaving himself more & more every day. I can almost count on him to be kind & thoughtful. He gives me roses often & still cooks for me every night. He makes the bed, mows the lawn & a whole lot of other things. He i...

KT2015 · KT2015

I don't even know what I'm going to write about or what the theme is but I'm just going to start and see where it goes.... Yesterday was not a good day for me. In fact it was bad. I was irritable and ill tempered and it snuck up on me. I think it might have had to do with having a family member visit the night...

slynnmg · slynnmg

Hey friends, This is my first post on this board, and wanted to know how some of you have overcome/deal with issues of abandonment? They are affecting my relationship at the moment to the point where it is stressing out my boyfriend (who isn't my qualifier), and I'm wondering what methods you use to cop...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...

el-cee · el-cee

Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..

miroslawa · miroslawa

Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...

Tampa · Tampa

I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...

Crau · Crau

Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...

Minniegirl · Minniegirl

Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...

cmw2429 · cmw2429

Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Court hearing (Preview) I decided to take my XAH back to court. He has told me he will not pay for our son's private school next year but he never provided me with a better solution and didn't move on the suggestions that he made. I went to a lawyer who helped me draft a petition to enforce school choice and in the process, the lawy...	andromeda	4	651	Jun 29, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage To Change 29/6 (Preview) Today's C2C speaks of step 4, and the value of recognising our assets within our fearless and searching moral inventory. It suggests that although at first many of us cannot see the value in recognising our assets, these are in fact the foundation on which our new life is being built; if we don't learn...	missmeliss	3	710	Jun 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reacting and God's will (Preview) I have had a resentment swirling around my mind for days, Ive let it go, discussed it over and over with non alanon people, let it go, took it back, let it go and then I have manipulated a conversation through being passive aggressive and the person of course then asked the question 'whats wrong' and then...	el-cee	2	779	Jun 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling alone and broken (Preview) both my brothers have had addiction for about 15 years now. The brother I'm closest too or the one I always wanted a relationship with went to prison for 2 years and got out about 1.5 years ago and had been clean for about 3 years or so. He relapsed badly about 6 months ago and is back on the dark Path. My fathe...	Daniela214	6	791	Jun 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Keep going to Step 1 during healing of A (Preview) just when you think things are getting better with this disease, I am knocked back down to Step 1. This has been a tough week. My A has been sober now for 42 days, but this disease keeps unfolding into this seemingly impossible way to a cure. I know it can only be arrested. But I hate seeing all the physical s...	gabigail	7	835	Jun 28, 2016 by Mirandac
	Hope for Today June 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- first- thank you all for your support and encouragement yesterday. It was a great reminder to me that we are human beings who stumble, trip, fall and are lifted up again by those around us. My house is officially on the market now and was shown once last night. That has contrib...	yanksfan51	4	545	Jun 28, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Resentment (Preview) I am trying to let go of a resentment I have this morning. I woke up with it and cant shake it and I know it will block the good in today so I thought I would bring it here and see if I can let it go. I dont even know if I have the right to have it. Im annoyed and angry at a persons reactions and watching dysfunction th...	el-cee	7	788	Jun 28, 2016 by KT2015
	it eventually works out (Preview) Real quick. I just want to say that I had a rough week but it is working out. I just had to wait for awhile for something to happen & trust in God. It was worth waiting for. I am blessed. I never had it so good. I just have to believe & take it one day at a time. Thanks MIP!	Hoot Nanny	2	435	Jun 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help with 'detaching with love' (Preview) My husband has recently (under duress from me) sought help from his doctor for his alcoholism. His doctor has referred him to a specialist alcohol dependence team. This is after years of him drinking to excess and in the last couple of years drinking in secret and drinking at any and every opportuni...	Teddybear1	5	668	Jun 28, 2016 by gabigail
	dealt with shaken (Preview) decided not to tell new guy about XAH's call but thought XAH deserves some reconition after 25 yrs, so printed simple note and sent it. thanking him for all the concerts, trips and gifts i recieved from him. Also thanking him for the support when i was sick and also support when i was grieving the loss of m...	YARNCRAZY	5	645	Jun 27, 2016 by reener
	Hurting today (Preview) hi everybody- i haven't posted in a while other than my Tuesday shares. I am having a hard time today. About to put my house on the market, and after almostvthree years apart and my ex AH begging and pleading with me he has now met someone new. There is no earthly reason that I am bothered by this but I am h...	yanksfan51	10	725	Jun 27, 2016 by Jill
	High anxiety! (Preview) I am taking a trip with my mother to visit my sister. My mother is elderly and wants to visit my sister in alaska one more time. So I volunteered to go with her. Now I know its a very dumb idea. My mother is an alcholi and severely codependent and nasty with her tongue at times. My sister and I have suffer...	Minniegirl	2	541	Jun 27, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Courage to Change 27/6 (Preview) Today's c2c is about sponsoring, and how we might reject the idea of sponsoring someone because we believe that we don't have enough recovery or, wqe don't have enough to offer another person. The reading suggests that our HP brings into our lives people that can help us grow, so if someone asks us to sp...	missmeliss	3	516	Jun 27, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62328663/alanon-ste...	hotrod	2	549	Jun 27, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Becoming a sponsor (Preview) Hello and good evening to all I am looking for some suggestions from anyone who has experienced being a sponsor. I have been in Al anon for 3 years and I've worked the steps and traditions with a sponsor. I was recently asked by a newcomer if I could sponsor them a month ago but I told her I felt I wasn't rea...	Sandy408	2	656	Jun 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Bruising (Preview) The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...	pixie	6	786	Jun 27, 2016 by pixie
	Please remind me (Preview) I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...	Hope floats	3	740	Jun 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	Drama (Preview) What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc	LinSC	6	668	Jun 26, 2016 by maryjane
	Shaken (Preview) Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...	YARNCRAZY	3	501	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	it is 5 am & i am at my wits end. (Preview) What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....	Hoot Nanny	11	633	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...	hotrod	1	610	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al-anon, trying to work through shame. (Preview) Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...	wendy010989	4	582	Jun 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	When a recovering alcoholic has arrested development (Preview) Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM	LinSC	6	1009	Jun 26, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Struggling with fear, insecurity, and self doubt (Preview) Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...	andromeda	11	1206	Jun 25, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change Reading 6-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...	hotrod	2	868	Jun 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Daughter and son-in-law went on a bender last night... How do I handle it? (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law were a few years sober. They have been having hard times financially in the last couple of months. He lost his job as a result of taking prescribed pain pills for a swollen ankle. He doctor shopped and became addicted quickly. They both avoided this as if it wasn't happeni...	ConfusedMom2605	2	608	Jun 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need some advice (Preview) Hello everyone, this is the first time I've ever participated in something like this -- where I'm seeking advice about my problems. I usually just hide everything bc I am embarrassed it is happening to me and I'm having a difficult time accepting truth. I have been married 15 months to my husband who ha...	Carrot	4	597	Jun 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	The Knots Prayer... (Preview) A friend of mine posted this prayer on Facebook.....just wanted to share it here - it's a lovely prayer!!The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.Erase the will nots, may nots, migh...	Iamhere	4	569	Jun 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Healthy anger (Preview) I love and embrace my healthy anger, I am no longer a doormat. I am still a little prickly, i do not people Please or hand any one else my power, Anymore. This program has given me so much Inner healing. I now have good strong boundaries. i still do not like conflict but will forge Ahead if its needed to p...	Mirandac	4	490	Jun 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/24/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family and TGIF!!! Today's reading is all about finding miracles and seeing our success in that which happens each day, big or small. The reading starts out with a fable about a farmer who is wanting to increase production of eggs from his hens. He decides to charm them all day long,...	Iamhere	3	562	Jun 24, 2016 by maryjane
	Fed up and angry (Preview) Oh I've been angry this week. Angry angry angry! It all came to a head today and now it doesn't have such a hold on me. My mom did something unkind to me and I took it personally, my AH was holding a resentment towards me....and I took it personally, my boss got annoyed and sent me a critical email and .......	KT2015	6	766	Jun 24, 2016 by maryjane
	Moving on my mind (Preview) hi everybody ,been missing my home group here,missing you all,I've been checking and reading a lot in the aca online group,very awesome I saw myself over n over in the laundry lists,scary at 1st.i accepted it,and went on about my wanting to learn more.ive also had moving on my mind last few days,im 53 y...	lookingup	4	661	Jun 23, 2016 by lookingup
	i did engage this time (Preview) I got so fed up this morning w my AH. It was over some petty thing & I lost it! He said I said. I yelled. Tried to defend myself really.long story. I cried apologized for my behavior my side of the street. He eventually got quiet & sad. The thing is he made a statement that said that how did he put up w me...	Hoot Nanny	3	556	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not again!... (Preview) Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special. I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special... Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was st...	alexmaui	4	678	Jun 23, 2016 by alexmaui
	A Cunning and Baffling Disease (Preview) I remember hearing the saying,The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.Today this feels very powerful. There is no such thing as drinking normally in our alcoholic home. There is drinking until its gone, and then drinking some more, and then getting sick and s...	Bethany66	12	1032	Jun 23, 2016 by Freetime
	Daily Life (Preview) Hi All I am new to Alanon and so you may all be way ahead of me on this. I made a decision about 3 months ago that I have to leave my abf of 10 years, we have 2 small boys. However due to financial and practical issues I cant leave now and so I'm trying to use the steps to make it bearable, and to put myself in the best...	lisa sa	2	699	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/23/16 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading is about honesty. The reminder ---- "I know that honesty is an essential part of the Twelve Steps. I am willing to be more honest with myself today." Today's quote ---- "Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?" Being honest in recovery takes courage, but i...	Iamhere	1	537	Jun 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Baby Safety & Detatchment (Preview) Hi- I'm new here. My H is a problem drinker, who will go weeks with no issues then suddenly binge drink. When he binge drinks he embarrasses himself, accidentally damages other people's property, etc. He is never violent, though he does have drunk behaviors that can alarm me. One of those is follo...	marysmommy	10	671	Jun 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Consequences and family milestones you don't want to achieve (Preview) So I had one good day of detachment. Now I'm percolating in a darker space but I came here to vent momentarily. Here's a family milestone nobody wants to achieve: the first time someone tells your kids "your daddy got drunk and passed out and the police came"! Kids got this from their cousin. The story...	Fedora	3	670	Jun 23, 2016 by lisa sa
	sibling has relapsed / any advice is helpful (Preview) Apologies in advance for this will be a bit lengthy. My sister is the youngest of the family. She is college educated, twice married and divorced, has 3 beautiful and healthy children, and a heroin addict. Life finally caught up to her a few years ago; she lost custody of her children and was senten...	sisterbob	4	894	Jun 22, 2016 by Sandy408
	Oh you're kidding. (Preview) I have just called my uni and finally gotten through- to a new girl who was relaying a conversation between me and the other girl who is "investigating" my case. The 3rd hand information I was given (no, she couldn't come to the phone apparently) was that the person who can make the final decision on my ca...	missmeliss	9	727	Jun 22, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 22/6 (Preview) Today's c2c discusses the fact that many of us arrive in al-anon preoccupied with what he/she/they did. The reading suggests that when we blame others for our unpleasant feelings, we give away our power to them. It rightly points out that no-one can make me feel anything except for myself. When we foc...	missmeliss	3	564	Jun 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	if things get better than this... (Preview) If things getting any better, I don't know what I am going to do. My sober AH is behaving himself more & more every day. I can almost count on him to be kind & thoughtful. He gives me roses often & still cooks for me every night. He makes the bed, mows the lawn & a whole lot of other things. He i...	Hoot Nanny	5	654	Jun 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	a bit of a ramble (Preview) I don't even know what I'm going to write about or what the theme is but I'm just going to start and see where it goes.... Yesterday was not a good day for me. In fact it was bad. I was irritable and ill tempered and it snuck up on me. I think it might have had to do with having a family member visit the night...	KT2015	7	662	Jun 21, 2016 by Anonymouskb
	Abandonment Issues anyone? (Preview) Hey friends, This is my first post on this board, and wanted to know how some of you have overcome/deal with issues of abandonment? They are affecting my relationship at the moment to the point where it is stressing out my boyfriend (who isn't my qualifier), and I'm wondering what methods you use to cop...	slynnmg	6	823	Jun 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 20/6 (Preview) Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...	missmeliss	6	655	Jun 21, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Is this the courage? (Preview) Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay ther...	el-cee	8	685	Jun 21, 2016 by milkwood
	John OR Admins (Preview) I am having problems logging into the ACA message board online here .. It says my IP was banned .. there is no reason this should be ? Can someone please let me know why this is and how soon we can fix this glitch ? Thanks .. hope42day on other board ..	MeTwo2	2	524	Jun 21, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Addict daughter now in prison for robbery (Preview) Hi! I am a one year member of Alanon and attend meetings every Saturday. I kicked my daughter out of the house a year ago after 5 years of abuse and the new knowledge that she was in the heat of becoming a meth addict. She has been homeless since then. On Friday she was arrested and charged with Robbery. She w...	miroslawa	6	727	Jun 20, 2016 by serenity47
	6mths on my own (Preview) Just ducking in here to say that it has been 6 months on my own, away from AH soon to be XAH. Getting the divorce, dealing with the IRS,looking for work has been a real challenge to me.My es sis in law has taken the job i had of "having the wool pulled over your eyes enabler" as far as XAH. I havnt seen or spoken t...	YARNCRAZY	3	595	Jun 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Emotionally immature (Preview) i found this great old blog and it explained so well what someone being emotionally immature was all about. It is said A's are as mature as when they started drinking. i get that my xah drank hard from 12-24 he was a binger. He seemed okay on the surface and seemed fairly well emotionally centered except...	Mirandac	9	851	Jun 20, 2016 by Mirandac
	Did this ever open my eyes. (Preview) I am not only in-love with an alcoholic. I have found out he is a narcissist, porn addict and pathological liar. Why such a combination of things? Talk about a walking mess, including me. I have finally left this time without crying. I am cried out. Long story short: I left him the last time and took every...	Tampa	11	2571	Jun 20, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Hello, happy father's day (Preview) Hello! I've been absent from the Board for a few weeks but I've been working on my program. I am learning that growth takes time. Today I had an unexpected opportunity to see where I'm at.... my MIL found out today that my qualifier drinks. He ended up in the ER after passing out. I am not at home now so his mo...	Fedora	4	572	Jun 20, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling crappy today (Preview) I just have such overwhelming anxiety today and feeling like such a bad mom. Over the weekend I was completely short with my kids as I was overwhelmed and tired. AH hurt his shoulder so he wasn't much help with the kids and called me out on being short with them last night. I took it so personal even tho...	Jazzie18	2	419	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's a new week :) (Preview) Reading through so many of these posts I see so much pain and hurt but also a lot of hope and insight. Words that are spoken here are so true, connect with people on so many levels and it's a great place to come to when needing to connect again with the steps and others walking a similar path. I also hear so m...	Crau	2	529	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 6-19-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 19 speaks about being troubled by others behaviors or disappointing turn of events. The reading points out that we don't have to take others actions as personal. We are not have to be a victim of everything that happens unless we choose to see the world that way. If things do not...	hotrod	5	600	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why am I the nut lol (Preview) Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.li...	Minniegirl	5	774	Jun 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Dad in a nutshell (Preview) I miss him especially today. He was my hero in the end. He made me laugh & even made me cry. He was the saver of my sanity. He knew what I needed even hugs. He dropped everything to visit me in the hospital when no one else would. He smiled & his face lighted up. He wasn't always there but he made sure th...	Hoot Nanny	2	605	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Letting go of relationships/friendships (Preview) Hi all! Just wanted to share and see if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I am currently in a phase of recovery where I am letting go of relationships/friendships that are all with alcoholics/ACoA/Codependents. It took me almost 3 years in recovery to finally come out of denial and tru...	Sandy408	7	687	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	When life is not what you dreamed it would be (Preview) Yesterday was our 39th Wedding Anniversary. No presents, no "happy anniversary", yes a lunch out but it really could have been any other day of the year. The only mention in relation to our Wedding Day was about the difference in weather! I think I'm finally accepting that life is nothing like I want...	cmw2429	6	688	Jun 19, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.