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New Here. Married to an Alcoholic
(Preview)
This is my first time posting here. My husband of 2 years is a functional alcoholic. We have his two kids full time And our newborn. I'm trying to figure out if is verbally/emotionally abusive. How can I tell? How do I know? how do i recover from how he treats me? At what point do you stand up and defend your...
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Anonymouskb
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13
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1021
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Just sad
(Preview)
I've lived with active drinking for almost 20 years with my ex and I've felt many of the usual things, resentment, anger, hopelessness, fear etc all the usual but right now this disease just has me sad. Plain sad. I don't feel the need to change, save, rescue, plead, beg, reason none of it. I don't feel an...
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el-cee
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34
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1346
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Courage to Change (C2C) 6/30/2016
(Preview)
Today's reading is about prayer - it is not for our HP, but rather for us. There are no perfect words and there are no perfect times/ways to pray. Instead, we just need to try as our HP will know what is in our hearts. Today's Reminder is powerful enough to share ---- Prayer is my most personal form of com...
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Iamhere
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5
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748
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letting go...it's a process...an over and over again process. why is it so hard?
(Preview)
i cannot count all of the times that i have let go because i believe that it is necessary for my sanity. all i can do for my friend is pray. over and over. will this processes ever end? i simply cannot allow the love that i have for someone to destroy me. i know this. there's gotta be a way to get through t...
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crazyhope
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2
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714
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At A Loss re Grandkids
(Preview)
Hi, an old timer here. NavGrace in room. New intense problem. One of my adult children, ?A def with behaviour is abusive to his wife as reported to me by my Grandchildren. He has a strangle hold on them and my hubs and I. Sons bio Dad is the A and son is total enabler ie trading vehicles when Dad had a dui...
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IAmStrong
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2
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777
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Do you ever just get so impatient
(Preview)
That you straight out ask an alcoholic if they are insane/liars/psychologically unwell? The a in question is my parent. Her bills aren't paid, she's slurring her words at 10am on a Monday morning,can't remember dates etc and is full of the isms. I really couldn't help myself from asking her if she's g...
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a4l
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7
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789
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Does Al-Anon really have “promises”?
(Preview)
Hi, At a recent Al-Anon convention, I attended, one of the Al-Anon speakers quoted the Al-Anon Promises. I am not familiar with a list of promises (similar to the ones used by A.A. members) for Al-Anon. Does Al-Anon really have promises? I need to know about it. Think this is the right place to ask my dou...
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TamaraStreeter
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4
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1822
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Sadness
(Preview)
I am a mom of an alcoholic. He is 24. I have been attending alanon and trying to work on me. I set a boundary telling him to not come over if he is drinking. He is here and keeps going out to his car. I watched out the window and can see he is drinking. As I am trying to keep the focus on me I know I shouldn't spy on him...
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Wendy8
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4
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634
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Feeling so stuck
(Preview)
For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling so stuck. I just can't get out of it. I am stuck in this cycle of anger and resentment. I just feel really BITTER lately. It's awful to admit that because it's not something I want to be. But that is where I am. Bitter and angry and lashing out at people. I...
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KT2015
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5
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807
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Trembling hands
(Preview)
What makes the alcoholic's hands shake?
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lgnutah
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1
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498
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Reener is
(Preview)
Actually my wife's nick and she is letting me use her IPod to keep up while we are traveling. Central ca. and 103 degrees right now.(((((hugs)))))
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reener
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7
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682
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UPDATE FOR SHAKEN
(Preview)
I have the most understanding boyfriend. I ended up telling him about xah,s call and the note i wrote and he took it wondefully. guess honesty wins out again. i guess i should give myself credit for being brave enough to risk losing new guy.
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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657
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Deeply in love with an alcoholic
(Preview)
We met a few years ago, got very close. We had a strong, unique connection. Nothing physical, just friends. He did ask mw out but it never happened, he always had excuses until he totally disappeared and I assumed he was just not that interested. We lost touch and met a few months ago. It felt so good and...
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Nawew
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15
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1072
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How will i feel....
(Preview)
When and if my ah is diognoised with an alcoholic related ilness? Will it be an " I told you so" moment or will I be sympathetic? I will take care of him until the end but will I try to comfort him or tell him to stop whining because he did it to himself,or will I fall somewhere in between these feelings? Things...
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pixie
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8
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781
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Court hearing
(Preview)
I decided to take my XAH back to court. He has told me he will not pay for our son's private school next year but he never provided me with a better solution and didn't move on the suggestions that he made. I went to a lawyer who helped me draft a petition to enforce school choice and in the process, the lawy...
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andromeda
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4
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667
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Courage To Change 29/6
(Preview)
Today's C2C speaks of step 4, and the value of recognising our assets within our fearless and searching moral inventory. It suggests that although at first many of us cannot see the value in recognising our assets, these are in fact the foundation on which our new life is being built; if we don't learn...
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missmeliss
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3
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724
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Reacting and God's will
(Preview)
I have had a resentment swirling around my mind for days, Ive let it go, discussed it over and over with non alanon people, let it go, took it back, let it go and then I have manipulated a conversation through being passive aggressive and the person of course then asked the question 'whats wrong' and then...
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el-cee
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2
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797
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Feeling alone and broken
(Preview)
both my brothers have had addiction for about 15 years now. The brother I'm closest too or the one I always wanted a relationship with went to prison for 2 years and got out about 1.5 years ago and had been clean for about 3 years or so. He relapsed badly about 6 months ago and is back on the dark Path. My fathe...
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Daniela214
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6
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806
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Keep going to Step 1 during healing of A
(Preview)
just when you think things are getting better with this disease, I am knocked back down to Step 1. This has been a tough week. My A has been sober now for 42 days, but this disease keeps unfolding into this seemingly impossible way to a cure. I know it can only be arrested. But I hate seeing all the physical s...
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gabigail
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7
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851
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Hope for Today June 28
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- first- thank you all for your support and encouragement yesterday. It was a great reminder to me that we are human beings who stumble, trip, fall and are lifted up again by those around us. My house is officially on the market now and was shown once last night. That has contrib...
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yanksfan51
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4
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563
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Resentment
(Preview)
I am trying to let go of a resentment I have this morning. I woke up with it and cant shake it and I know it will block the good in today so I thought I would bring it here and see if I can let it go. I dont even know if I have the right to have it. Im annoyed and angry at a persons reactions and watching dysfunction th...
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el-cee
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7
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804
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it eventually works out
(Preview)
Real quick. I just want to say that I had a rough week but it is working out. I just had to wait for awhile for something to happen & trust in God. It was worth waiting for. I am blessed. I never had it so good. I just have to believe & take it one day at a time. Thanks MIP!
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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455
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Help with 'detaching with love'
(Preview)
My husband has recently (under duress from me) sought help from his doctor for his alcoholism. His doctor has referred him to a specialist alcohol dependence team. This is after years of him drinking to excess and in the last couple of years drinking in secret and drinking at any and every opportuni...
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Teddybear1
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5
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685
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dealt with shaken
(Preview)
decided not to tell new guy about XAH's call but thought XAH deserves some reconition after 25 yrs, so printed simple note and sent it. thanking him for all the concerts, trips and gifts i recieved from him. Also thanking him for the support when i was sick and also support when i was grieving the loss of m...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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663
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Hurting today
(Preview)
hi everybody- i haven't posted in a while other than my Tuesday shares. I am having a hard time today. About to put my house on the market, and after almostvthree years apart and my ex AH begging and pleading with me he has now met someone new. There is no earthly reason that I am bothered by this but I am h...
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yanksfan51
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10
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745
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High anxiety!
(Preview)
I am taking a trip with my mother to visit my sister. My mother is elderly and wants to visit my sister in alaska one more time. So I volunteered to go with her. Now I know its a very dumb idea. My mother is an alcholi and severely codependent and nasty with her tongue at times. My sister and I have suffer...
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Minniegirl
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2
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559
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Courage to Change 27/6
(Preview)
Today's c2c is about sponsoring, and how we might reject the idea of sponsoring someone because we believe that we don't have enough recovery or, wqe don't have enough to offer another person. The reading suggests that our HP brings into our lives people that can help us grow, so if someone asks us to sp...
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missmeliss
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3
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530
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Step 12
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62328663/alanon-ste...
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hotrod
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2
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566
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Becoming a sponsor
(Preview)
Hello and good evening to all I am looking for some suggestions from anyone who has experienced being a sponsor. I have been in Al anon for 3 years and I've worked the steps and traditions with a sponsor. I was recently asked by a newcomer if I could sponsor them a month ago but I told her I felt I wasn't rea...
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Sandy408
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2
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672
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Bruising
(Preview)
The other day we were at a family get together at my son and his girlfriends house. Her 83 year old grandmother was there and she asked my ah if he was on coumadin,a blood thinner. Being the first time shes met my ah she doesn't know him. But i wanted to tell her his blood thinner is an excessive amount of busc...
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pixie
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6
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813
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Please remind me
(Preview)
I'm back again for the 3rd time granted I never should of left because I still needed to get better , but thinking since I was not living in the alcoholics life at that time I thought I was better. Well back living with my ex AH with the attempt to try it again to bring the family back together . Well he back in A...
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Hope floats
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3
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762
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Drama
(Preview)
What is this thing called "drama" ? We were subdued by an alcoholic father, so we could never express our feelings let alone have drama! Is it a minipulative maneuver?, r people bored and need excitement? Is it mostly in alcoholic families? Any input would help me learn about this...... Linsc
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LinSC
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6
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704
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Shaken
(Preview)
Hey I wish all of you were with me last night. I havnt spoken to soon to be XAH IN 6MTHS. Last night he called and i actually spoke to him. he has been sober over 100 days. He was crying about the divorce and how he missed me etc. I thought to myself, maybe this isnt such a good idea for me to carry on this conversa...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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538
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it is 5 am & i am at my wits end.
(Preview)
What do I do? I have been struggling w getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning & no one is up! I have insomnia & have had it for a very long time. I take meds but they don't always work. I even go to bed early. So the reason might be obsessive thinking or something else. I know you aren't professional people....
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Hoot Nanny
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11
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653
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Courage to Change Reading 6-26-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 26 talks about" Forgiveness". It points out that when we come to Al-Anon we may be full of bitterness towards many people. However,in time, we discover that this bitterness only hurts ourselves more than anyone else and determine that we need to search for another way.We als...
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hotrod
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1
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630
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New to Al-anon, trying to work through shame.
(Preview)
Hi all, My husband and I just spent 4 days visiting my (alcoholic) brother who recently had a stroke and has permanent brain damage. That relationship (brother and I) has been strained for years but I feel so terribly sorry for him and his family over this situation. I feel like my husband is focusing...
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wendy010989
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4
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599
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When a recovering alcoholic has arrested development
(Preview)
Does he/she ever mature and grow up? What does it take? linsc -- Edited by LinSC on Wednesday 22nd of June 2016 07:23:53 PM
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LinSC
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6
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1032
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Struggling with fear, insecurity, and self doubt
(Preview)
Can anyone else relate? I have a great life today. I'm in a far better place than I was just 18 months-2 years ago. I have a decent job (the pay isn't great and there's no health benefits, but the job is in an industry I enjoy and the people I work with are great and it's only 8 miles from home). I have a man i...
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andromeda
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11
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1225
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Courage to Change Reading 6-25
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 25 speaks about Step Six. This is the Step that asks that we become entirely ready for God to remove our defects. The reading suggests these defects are like roadblocks that keep us stranded and unable to freely travel life's many roads.The reading points out, that one of...
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hotrod
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2
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899
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Daughter and son-in-law went on a bender last night... How do I handle it?
(Preview)
My daughter and son-in-law were a few years sober. They have been having hard times financially in the last couple of months. He lost his job as a result of taking prescribed pain pills for a swollen ankle. He doctor shopped and became addicted quickly. They both avoided this as if it wasn't happeni...
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ConfusedMom2605
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2
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626
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Need some advice
(Preview)
Hello everyone, this is the first time I've ever participated in something like this -- where I'm seeking advice about my problems. I usually just hide everything bc I am embarrassed it is happening to me and I'm having a difficult time accepting truth. I have been married 15 months to my husband who ha...
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Carrot
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4
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612
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The Knots Prayer...
(Preview)
A friend of mine posted this prayer on Facebook.....just wanted to share it here - it's a lovely prayer!!The Knots Prayer Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.Erase the will nots, may nots, migh...
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Iamhere
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4
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585
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Healthy anger
(Preview)
I love and embrace my healthy anger, I am no longer a doormat. I am still a little prickly, i do not people Please or hand any one else my power, Anymore. This program has given me so much Inner healing. I now have good strong boundaries. i still do not like conflict but will forge Ahead if its needed to p...
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Mirandac
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4
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509
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Courage to Change (C2C) 6/24/16
(Preview)
Good morning MIP family and TGIF!!! Today's reading is all about finding miracles and seeing our success in that which happens each day, big or small. The reading starts out with a fable about a farmer who is wanting to increase production of eggs from his hens. He decides to charm them all day long,...
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Iamhere
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3
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577
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Fed up and angry
(Preview)
Oh I've been angry this week. Angry angry angry! It all came to a head today and now it doesn't have such a hold on me. My mom did something unkind to me and I took it personally, my AH was holding a resentment towards me....and I took it personally, my boss got annoyed and sent me a critical email and .......
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KT2015
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6
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785
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Moving on my mind
(Preview)
hi everybody ,been missing my home group here,missing you all,I've been checking and reading a lot in the aca online group,very awesome I saw myself over n over in the laundry lists,scary at 1st.i accepted it,and went on about my wanting to learn more.ive also had moving on my mind last few days,im 53 y...
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lookingup
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4
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680
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i did engage this time
(Preview)
I got so fed up this morning w my AH. It was over some petty thing & I lost it! He said I said. I yelled. Tried to defend myself really.long story. I cried apologized for my behavior my side of the street. He eventually got quiet & sad. The thing is he made a statement that said that how did he put up w me...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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573
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Not again!...
(Preview)
Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special. I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special... Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was st...
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alexmaui
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4
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695
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A Cunning and Baffling Disease
(Preview)
I remember hearing the saying,The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.Today this feels very powerful. There is no such thing as drinking normally in our alcoholic home. There is drinking until its gone, and then drinking some more, and then getting sick and s...
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Bethany66
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12
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1052
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Daily Life
(Preview)
Hi All I am new to Alanon and so you may all be way ahead of me on this. I made a decision about 3 months ago that I have to leave my abf of 10 years, we have 2 small boys. However due to financial and practical issues I cant leave now and so I'm trying to use the steps to make it bearable, and to put myself in the best...
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lisa sa
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2
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717
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Courage to Change (C2C) 6/23/16
(Preview)
Today's courage to change reading is about honesty. The reminder ---- "I know that honesty is an essential part of the Twelve Steps. I am willing to be more honest with myself today." Today's quote ---- "Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?" Being honest in recovery takes courage, but i...
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Iamhere
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1
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554
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Baby Safety & Detatchment
(Preview)
Hi- I'm new here. My H is a problem drinker, who will go weeks with no issues then suddenly binge drink. When he binge drinks he embarrasses himself, accidentally damages other people's property, etc. He is never violent, though he does have drunk behaviors that can alarm me. One of those is follo...
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marysmommy
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10
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687
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Consequences and family milestones you don't want to achieve
(Preview)
So I had one good day of detachment. Now I'm percolating in a darker space but I came here to vent momentarily. Here's a family milestone nobody wants to achieve: the first time someone tells your kids "your daddy got drunk and passed out and the police came"! Kids got this from their cousin. The story...
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Fedora
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3
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684
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sibling has relapsed / any advice is helpful
(Preview)
Apologies in advance for this will be a bit lengthy. My sister is the youngest of the family. She is college educated, twice married and divorced, has 3 beautiful and healthy children, and a heroin addict. Life finally caught up to her a few years ago; she lost custody of her children and was senten...
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sisterbob
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4
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908
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Oh you're kidding.
(Preview)
I have just called my uni and finally gotten through- to a new girl who was relaying a conversation between me and the other girl who is "investigating" my case. The 3rd hand information I was given (no, she couldn't come to the phone apparently) was that the person who can make the final decision on my ca...
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missmeliss
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9
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744
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Courage to Change 22/6
(Preview)
Today's c2c discusses the fact that many of us arrive in al-anon preoccupied with what he/she/they did. The reading suggests that when we blame others for our unpleasant feelings, we give away our power to them. It rightly points out that no-one can make me feel anything except for myself. When we foc...
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missmeliss
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3
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581
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if things get better than this...
(Preview)
If things getting any better, I don't know what I am going to do. My sober AH is behaving himself more & more every day. I can almost count on him to be kind & thoughtful. He gives me roses often & still cooks for me every night. He makes the bed, mows the lawn & a whole lot of other things. He i...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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670
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a bit of a ramble
(Preview)
I don't even know what I'm going to write about or what the theme is but I'm just going to start and see where it goes.... Yesterday was not a good day for me. In fact it was bad. I was irritable and ill tempered and it snuck up on me. I think it might have had to do with having a family member visit the night...
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KT2015
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7
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678
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Abandonment Issues anyone?
(Preview)
Hey friends, This is my first post on this board, and wanted to know how some of you have overcome/deal with issues of abandonment? They are affecting my relationship at the moment to the point where it is stressing out my boyfriend (who isn't my qualifier), and I'm wondering what methods you use to cop...
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slynnmg
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6
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846
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Courage to Change 20/6
(Preview)
Today's c2c is about fear, and the negative coping tools we may have developed to deal with it. For example, many of us, when we are confronted, remain silent rather than speaking up for ourselves and we lose self respect in the process. The reading suggests that remaining silent is in fact reacting, r...
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missmeliss
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6
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687
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