Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

e_i_m · e_i_m

I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...

a4l · a4l

Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...

RecoveryMom1491 · RecoveryMom1491

Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...

deacon · deacon

Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...

MissM · MissM

I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? *** Pauses to think ****. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

So my BF has been at rehab in Florida, he called me tonight and said someone asked him if I was going to come down for family week, where they integrate us etc into their treatment I guess, etc. He told me, ever since someone put the idea in his head, he was "all for it" as far as me coming down. I said of course I...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH was in touch to apologize and get back on track again and asked to come home. I offered to meet for coffee. He had me pick him up because he was drunk. I felt sorry for him. i think he really wants to do better. He has his plan of what to do. He said he would work on detoxing the rest of the day so he could drive ho...

TheWife · TheWife

After a pretty awful couple of months (years?) My husband has finally gone into rehab. He will be there for a month at least. I am so happy that he is finally sorting out his problem. The trouble is, things have been pretty horrible for me for a while now. I have learnt to detach from him and get on with my own...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...

LinSC · LinSC

Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...

MissM · MissM

I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??

hiraeth · hiraeth

Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...

Fooled · Fooled

I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...

el-cee · el-cee

I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...

kspec85 · kspec85

I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...

Crau · Crau

That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...

Aerin · Aerin

Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...

e_i_m · e_i_m

One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...

chefpilsy · chefpilsy

Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...

Joba15 · Joba15

Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...

Fooled · Fooled

So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar ***Edited at the request of the member who posted*** So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...

jocelgp · jocelgp

There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...

lookingup · lookingup

I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...

wildhorsehomimy · wildhorsehomimy

this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...

lookingup · lookingup

Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu

dragonflyinn · dragonflyinn

I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...

kspec85 · kspec85

So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...

aloraine22 · aloraine22

This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...

El · El

Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...

Ann_M_Y · Ann_M_Y

I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...

Ceelee · Ceelee

My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...

Fooled · Fooled

Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...

El · El

Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Rescue dog (Preview) I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...	e_i_m	14	522	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	short tolerance span. (Preview) Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...	a4l	7	579	Oct 11, 2016 by el-cee
	NewComer (Preview) Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...	RecoveryMom1491	7	422	Oct 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	Choosing to disengage (Preview) Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...	deacon	5	441	Oct 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wavering in my resolve to set boundaries (Preview) Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...	themoonandthestars	7	604	Oct 10, 2016 by lgnutah
	I would like to find a sponsor here (Preview) I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...	lgnutah	1	339	Oct 10, 2016 by hotrod
	Living the single life (Preview) I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...	lookingup	12	592	Oct 10, 2016 by andromeda
	Tallinn Al Anon 23th birthday... (Preview) Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...	kadriliisa	6	515	Oct 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Can't stop worrying? (Preview) I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...	themoonandthestars	6	495	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	And.....it's here - grateful (Preview) Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...	Iamhere	19	582	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sunday Grattitudes n Stuff (Preview) I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...	MissM	8	443	Oct 9, 2016 by Fooled
	Apple! (Preview) Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? * Pauses to think **. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!	Calm Lady	13	385	Oct 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	C2C Reading 10-9-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...	hotrod	4	355	Oct 9, 2016 by tucker
	What do you think this means? (Preview) So my BF has been at rehab in Florida, he called me tonight and said someone asked him if I was going to come down for family week, where they integrate us etc into their treatment I guess, etc. He told me, ever since someone put the idea in his head, he was "all for it" as far as me coming down. I said of course I...	Desperateinnyc	3	376	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Handling things well (Preview) AH was in touch to apologize and get back on track again and asked to come home. I offered to meet for coffee. He had me pick him up because he was drunk. I felt sorry for him. i think he really wants to do better. He has his plan of what to do. He said he would work on detoxing the rest of the day so he could drive ho...	sunmustshine	3	405	Oct 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Husband gone to rehab - but what now? (Preview) After a pretty awful couple of months (years?) My husband has finally gone into rehab. He will be there for a month at least. I am so happy that he is finally sorting out his problem. The trouble is, things have been pretty horrible for me for a while now. I have learnt to detach from him and get on with my own...	TheWife	8	559	Oct 8, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	I am somewhat nervous. (Preview) It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...	Hoot Nanny	2	403	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Progress (Preview) So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...	MidnightOwl	6	455	Oct 8, 2016 by LinSC
	Drama and Passion (Preview) Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...	LinSC	6	485	Oct 8, 2016 by a4l
	Courage To Change 8/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...	MissM	2	346	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Funny little exercise in detachment. (Preview) I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...	MissM	9	637	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Off topic... (Preview) Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??	jojo8466	3	297	Oct 7, 2016 by jojo8466
	online sponsorship? (Preview) Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...	hiraeth	6	849	Oct 7, 2016 by DavidG
	More than depression (Preview) I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...	Fooled	8	621	Oct 7, 2016 by Fooled
	This too shall pass!! (Preview) I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...	el-cee	6	966	Oct 7, 2016 by KT2015
	New to al anon-not new to living with an alcoholic (Preview) My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...	Prissykitty	4	494	Oct 7, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	The Fair (Preview) Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...	Doingmybest	5	399	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cancelling Insurance (Preview) I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...	kspec85	6	455	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Manipulation (Preview) That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...	Crau	7	910	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	Am I Doing This Wrong? (Preview) I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...	sunmustshine	5	484	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	mother relapsed, sister homeless, I'm struggling with surrender (Preview) I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...	hiraeth	5	2089	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...	Iamhere	1	312	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	A in AA one week and acting smug (Preview) Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...	Aerin	21	670	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...	e_i_m	6	539	Oct 7, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Dealing with DUIs (Preview) Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...	chefpilsy	8	402	Oct 7, 2016 by chefpilsy
	New to this just looking for advice (Preview) Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...	Joba15	4	391	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mighty to save (Preview) So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...	Fooled	15	444	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	please help (Preview) Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar *Edited at the request of the member who posted* So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...	hiraeth	9	572	Oct 6, 2016 by DavidG
	my mom's remark made me feel bad (Preview) There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...	jocelgp	11	560	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Life's a mess (Preview) I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...	lookingup	8	495	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	"control to rest" ocarina18 (Preview) this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest	wildhorsehomimy	6	1096	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/16 (Preview) Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...	Iamhere	8	402	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Reading my old posts,funny (Preview) Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu	lookingup	5	403	Oct 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Is this part of my "disease"? (Preview) I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...	dragonflyinn	9	638	Oct 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Four Days Gone (Preview) So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...	kspec85	5	428	Oct 6, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Guilt (Preview) This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...	aloraine22	5	403	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind and Emotions in Frenzy (Preview) Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...	fiercefemaleflyer	2	376	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 3? (Preview) Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...	andromeda	4	834	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Gave the trouble he was looking for (Preview) AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...	sunmustshine	18	648	Oct 5, 2016 by Jen61
	C2C 10-5-16 Think (Preview) Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...	Enigmatic	6	369	Oct 5, 2016 by sunmustshine
	I love my laundry basket (Preview) I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...	e_i_m	21	606	Oct 5, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling the presence of HP (Preview) Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...	El	3	371	Oct 5, 2016 by e_i_m
	Grateful for small things (Preview) Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...	YARNCRAZY	2	346	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can you hate and love someone at the same time? (Preview) I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...	Ann_M_Y	21	907	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	My AH went to rehab / self pity rant (Preview) My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...	Ceelee	13	653	Oct 5, 2016 by Ceelee
	First day (Preview) Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...	Fooled	7	383	Oct 5, 2016 by Fooled
	Disgusted! (Preview) I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...	Dlove	13	647	Oct 5, 2016 by hiraeth
	Al-Anon at home tonight (Preview) Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...	El	3	353	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Just want peace... (Preview) I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...	Tossed Salad	3	415	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	wrote a letter to my ex abf, and just sent to myself. healing. (Preview) I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...	giraffe13	4	482	Oct 4, 2016 by giraffe13
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.