The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that he should assume that if he is gone off, I am not responsible for financing his way of life?
Hi kspec,
Take the high road and try to inform him that the vehicle he is driving is not insured. If it is in his name, maybe you can stop payments for it too? If he is off and out of his mind he may not even realize that he has been gone for 5 days. But if you have it in writing that you notified him it may help you when he comes back at you with lots of blame.
Sounds like you have it done nicely...I read your share and am reminded that "honesty is the best policy" no matter if I might be fearful at first. ((((hugs))))
Good on you for taking care of yourself. In my state, the liability issues around car accidents (with/without alcohol) is very punitive. We 'set our sons free' of our insurance policies as soon as they hit 18 and do not allow them access to our cars. One exception - we have an old van with liability only. My son with a license has borrowed it once in a while for hauling.
I believe it's mindful to be aware of potential risks of the disease. (((Hugs))) I also agree that honesty is the best policy.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene