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Post Info TOPIC: the a


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 70
Date:
the a


Hi all,
I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma
nice
I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know
it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says
to do.
The "in my face" stuff.
I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except
it had to stop. It is through the strength of this group I did
elect to release. It's for empowerment that I am greatful.
lol
I do not have an idea whats up now - except no more name
calling. No more blame - no more shame game. I am a 20
year member of the program. Oops I did it again.
Gentle paths n light n love to all,
\/\/ille


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wille


Newbie

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Posts: 1
Date:

I did the same thing thursday, and I fell really good about the choice I made. I fell I'm on the way to getting my self-esteam back. I know it will be really hard when he turns the tides and is at his best (the best only last till they get back in the door). I will not be fooled again.

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kkstokes


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 281
Date:

”I do not have an idea whats up now…”

Hmm, I have to think time now. Hmm, my goodness, it must be 30 years now, since I was sitting.(imaginary) on the curb down in the grimy neighborhood, (I did live down there) head in hands watching the sewer water go by and I looked down a ways… a drunk passed out in the sewer water… jeez, I said to myself that is me in a moment… the world had beaten me down… (I guess, I did not have all the answers, the world was bigger than me.)… two ways to go… suicide or reach out for help… and I said the smartest thing that I have ever said… ”I don’t know”. From that moment, I began to learn. Not having an idea of ‘whats up” is not all bad, for sure

Hugs & Luv,



-- Edited by richard at 22:33, 2005-02-26

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3131
Date:

For me, it is not the person. It is a person who has a horrible disease. I detached a long time ago from the disease. It cannot control me anymore. I can love my A all I want, respect him, be empathetic for him.

I am sad I had to have him leave. Becuz it was not the man I wanted to go, it was the disease. But sadly the two are in one body.

I did not lose me the last time he was here. Alanon taught me so much. I was able to detach and just love the man. But the disease tried another tactic, physical crap. that was my boundary.

I guess what I am saying is,these are human beings with a horrible disease.

Somedays are ok, some things touch me and I feel so much love, but mostly I miss my husband who is a mess, and alone and sick and controlled by horrible demons.
love,debilyn

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"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
<(*@*)>



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1161
Date:

thank you for the share.


I am debating putting my A on the curb also. I just don't want to continue with the name alling etc. he said"I laugh at you every day" to me a short while ago.


i said "I know you do"


But this program is helping me to get stronger.


Today I rented a car and drove to the bike shop to get my tire fixed. It has been sitting broken for a week and my A said he would fix it... Now I have it fixed.


Tonight I found an alanon meeting 15 miles away and I will give that group a try.


Then I will see my nephews lacrosse game.


Stronger every day.


Good for you to finally get some peace in your life


 



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 149
Date:

Wille, sounds like the "madness" is out of the house.  I am so glad that it is not "in your face."  Good for you.  I am certain there is a feeling of relief to get the negativity and dark cloud away from you.  It is one thing living w an active A who respects your space most of the time.  It is another thing when the A is continually verbally abusive. 


Keep up the good work.  Peace and love to you.  Annie



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Ava


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 59
Date:

That is so tempting putting my A out with the recycling!  I can relate so well to the 'In my face' stuff i think i said twice yesterday to my A 'back off' as the constant patter would not cease and i had already been out of the house for two hours for a break.


I guess we are only human and we all have a basic need for survival.


Thinking of you and hoping you are OK


ava     



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 653
Date:

I lost count of the times I put him out to the recycling, but they didn't want him either, LOL. The last time was the last time (hmmm, how many times have I said that??)!! I'm just one of those people that can't seem to give in and give up.. In my case, things have worked out really well, and I have the man I love back, healthy and whole, (for now, anyway). I don't know what the future holds, but right now, I am treasuring every precious minute. Miracles do happen! and water does get spilled on the laptop! and then another miracle happens, it's ok, and then I thank my HP again!! I'm really rambling, but I'm just writing words as they come to me, so please forgive my ramblings :) ,TLC

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Sending lots of TLC2U
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