Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...

joker · joker

I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...

malia · malia

My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer". I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...

Klopp96 · Klopp96

Need help understanding this

StrugglingMamaBear · StrugglingMamaBear

Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...

CarlyH · CarlyH

The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...

joker · joker

Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...

JS · JS

Hi - I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...

Doodlesworth · Doodlesworth

It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...

Cjm42 · Cjm42

My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...

joker · joker

I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...

joker · joker

omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....

Lyne · Lyne

Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...

muddy · muddy

I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters

Starbuxchic · Starbuxchic

My SO and I have been best friends for 5-6 years. We ended up getting married and having a daughter this past year . Some background. My husband was married prior and lost his wife in a car accident 7 years ago He was a firefighter at the time and was one of the first on the scene. He also lost his grandparent...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about turning over our will to our Higher Power, and a couple of ways we may implement doing this. One way to do this is called the God Box; a way of communicating with our HP and then literally letting go of whatever the issue is by placing a note we have written to...

carrotseed · carrotseed

It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy, efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking. I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpati...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have lived with the predictable pattern of my AD's disease long enough that I am getting better at setting protective boundaries for myself. (She does not live with me, she lives a couple of hours away). If I see that a text she has sent is becoming verbally abusive/incoherent, I delete it without r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy December all. Today's reading discusses how the program works - in a very simple way. Keep coming back and get into the middle of the program. The quote for today --- from Aristotle is perfect. "What we learn to do we learn by doing." The thought for the day --- Listening, hearing, thinking and...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The last week has been awful to say the least .. lol. I wound up at the urgent care which is a glorified triage they changed insurance at work and I was not happy about that. The best guess as I am waiting for the test at this point was a sever kidney infection. They thought I might be having a kidney stone....

Elabella · Elabella

So last night my AH came home from being out with friends at a sporting event pretty intoxicated. Not shocking. He was apologizing as soon as he walked in for being drunk. My usual reaction would have been to get angry. I didn't! I used the tools I've been learning and it worked- FOR ME. I was calm and actua...

joker · joker

I have spent the last two days, writing and writing all my anger and pain. I had a lot. Pages of pages of pure rage and pain. I just wrote and wrote and cried and cried. I cried hard. I feel so drained now, So drained. I feel Like there is nothing left inside me. I feel hollow. I am so tired now. I am exhausted. I r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good late morning MIP family....I apologize for the late posting of the daily. Courage to Change for today discusses our hopes, goals and promises of Al-Anon in a general way. Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Many reflect the same qualities and values as us and...

Elabella · Elabella

So with the holidays fast approaching I am experiencing high anxiety when thinking about how to deal with Christmas Eve dinner this year. For the entire duration of my marriage/relationship to AH (27 years), we have had Christmas Eve dinner at my parents house. Before we had our daughter it didn't me...

WestMan · WestMan

Put up the tree and am decorating with the kids. My ex-AW is away at rehab and this is usually her big project and she is really really good at it. Everyone looks forward to it because she is so into it. Now they're stuck with me. I'm doing my best but it pales in comparison. And I did not anticipate how much th...

joker · joker

I am nearing a break down. I can feel it. I left the hotel and came home. I have not officially moved yet. I have not taken the apartment yet. I have to decide by tomorrow. I came home and thought I can manage. I am so wrong. I have my daughter with her mental health issues that I am dealing with. She is going dow...

Mummie21 · Mummie21

Hello i am in a similar situation as any of you. My husband of 8 yrs and total of 16 years together is battling addiction to alcohol. He has suffered 4 sezuires in 8 years from trying to stop and had attempted AA but not seriously. He has been to a six month program stayed 4 and is now 2 months in a year program b...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi all, just had to post tonight after what has been a very difficult day, the last two weeks since my ex partner died have been hard, I just find the memories of our 4 years together are swamping me a lot of the time. I left him 3 months before he died while he was on a bender that seemed like it was never going t...

hotrod · hotrod

The 11th Step has been posted to the Step Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepw...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the positive change one can experience by working the Al-Anon program and the new way of living that Al-Anon offers. The author shares that, before Al-Anon, they thought that being an adult meant being in control and looking good on t...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for November 28, reminds us that "no situation is truly hopeless". Most importantly, the point is that despair and hopelessness are human attitudes and not the conditions of our lives. . It points out that in desperate situations,w,e human beings give up hope because we are un...

Brand new member- so many questions.... · Elabella

Hi- I'm two meetings in as of yesterday. My husband is a very high functioning alcoholic- he drinks from morning til night every single day for a very long time already. We have a 14 yr old daughter. This last year his disease has really progressed. He used to be to be kind, engaging and interested in doin...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I am so exhausted from my husband's mood swings. One day he is so nice and loving and thankful the next day everything overwhelms him and we can't talk about anything without it becoming a fight. I have locked myself in my study and sent him out for the whole morning to "play with our kid" so I could clean th...

Lyne · Lyne

Gifts from Alanon : Today's reading talks about what the writer accomplished from being a member of Alanon as well as from having a relationship with HP. These gifts include proud of being a survivor, acknowlegement of having dignity, having a wealth of experience that he/she can share, doesn't...

a4l · a4l

I am really struggling to be my recovery self in the non recovery world. I know this is not helped by my long held patterns of "all or nothing". Example: I spent almost five years literally shut out from the world. By choice. To recover, starting with the road to rock bottom. Now I'm on wobbly legs....

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband doesn't work. He spends money on things for himself regardless of whether we can afford it or not, when he wants to he just takes the money. He shoplifts and drinks and uses porn. He claims he has stopped now... He is angry and depressed a lot of the time. He speaks to me rudely and angrily all t...

Mabel · Mabel

Hi everyone. I'm really stressed over my ex's behaviour recently. We split up because of his drinking and being aggressive when drunk. And I will be leaving within the next couple months. His drinking has escalated recently and I'm finding him impossible to be around lately. I'm worried, he d...

fullmom · fullmom

My AD and her husband are over drinking. Not sure if they're alcoholics, or just over drinking, but that's for them to figure out, not me. We have a really good relationship with both of them. They are 30. This is not the first time my husband and I have worried or observed that they drink too much. So...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH was once sober for 12 years then on and off every few months for years. Now he is drinking every month. It is escalating and I am scared. We have been through marriage counseling more than once and he has had counseling more than once. He has had a DUI. I am so tired of this. Even when he's not drinki...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I would much appreciate any ESH on the differences in detaching vs letting go.Examples sure would be great.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My daughter in having contact with her dad has once again had another bad episode of the anxiety/Tourette's. It was really bad. Of course she didn't tell me and that irritates me more than anything because someone who has known her 3 months and has not lived the situation with her has all of the inf...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I ask AH to not come home for a while. About 5 days ago I had a chat with "sober" AH and we had a really good talk. Although he remained strong that he could stop drinking on his own without help. I told AH that I would give him one chance and one chance only. Never really believing that I would have to act on that...

DavidG · DavidG

-all seated on the ground... it is thanksgiving in Canada and USA, coming up- great expectations... In NZ we don't have thanksgiving- we wait until Christmas for family get togethers and feasting. Yesterday we had a birthday party down by the lake- for our youngest daughter. She had two friends wit...

2HP · 2HP

There was a recent thread where a newcomer had come to this MIP site to ask about an alcoholic symptom a "friend" is apparently exhibiting. I saw it and believed it belonged in the appropriate room of AA because we don't keep focus on the alcoholic in Al-Anon. ....yet I recalled my own need to understan...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I got to the end of reading the big book and it talks there about a wife whose formerly alcoholic husband drank a lot of coffee and smoked a lot after he became sober and how eventually her nagging led him to get angry and eventually drink again. The book says that while he was clearly at fault, she learned t...

Overcome · Overcome

Courage and I will be keeping the chat room open today for anyone that needs support during the holiday. This is something that we used to do in the room before John passed. In his memory I'd like to see us do this again throughout the holidays. We know that for many dealing with the disease of alcoholism,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the chaos that an alcoholic home can be. Many of us who grew up in or have lived in a home with an A have learned some survival techniques like-not trusting anyone, not being trustworthy, being unable to stand up for ourselves. A sentence that resonated fo...

serenity47 · serenity47

I have returned from my week long visit with my daughter. I did stay in the hotel for the entire week as planned and we carried on with our activities despite the chaos/drama unfolding at her house. For the most part she was very pleasant to be around and we had some fun. I was honoured to meet her sponso...

Lele · Lele

this is my first post in this forum, so I'm sorry if it's a bit all over the place. my mother has struggled with alcoholism for the past 5 years, and recently I've reached a breaking point. it's gotten to the point where Im not happy coming home anymore, and im constantly in fear of another relapse (she's...

MizzB · MizzB

Hey all! So, since ABF ended up on hospital (parents took him after seeing him in withdrawal - they finally saw the complete effect of his drinking) he hasn't drunk at all and he's been in group therapy and is on the waiting list for individual therapy. The stress of the drinking has reduced - although t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I get two cards on Thanksgiving from my AH's mother. One for myself, and one for my kid. Both have a $20.00 in them. So I called up my MIL to thank her, and I ask why the money? She told me she just feels so bad about this situation, and she loves us and wants to help out, but that's the best she can do. Awe, so sh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Recovery can suck as much as drinking!! (Preview) At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...	Curlyblu	10	830	Dec 7, 2017 by MizzB
	Alcoholic everywhere (Preview) I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...	joker	2	746	Dec 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/7/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...	Iamhere	1	712	Dec 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Lord's Prayer (Preview) My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer". I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...	malia	34	11963	Dec 7, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Ive been to 1 alanon meeting and left feeling i have a problem and caring too much is an addiction?? Head is melted !! (Preview) Need help understanding this	Klopp96	12	1725	Dec 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Denial and projection - normal? (Preview) Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...	StrugglingMamaBear	4	1122	Dec 6, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Cheating and Never taking responsibility for what they do (Preview) The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...	CarlyH	16	1031	Dec 6, 2017 by CarlyH
	Processing thoughts of what happened (Preview) Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...	joker	3	752	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today's Hope December 6, 2017 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...	Skorpi	3	733	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sex and the recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Hi - I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...	JS	22	7087	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Question about Service and Anonymity (Preview) Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...	Skorpi	5	886	Dec 6, 2017 by Skorpi
	I Really Think I'm Losing My Mind (Preview) Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...	SoggySlippers	17	5076	Dec 5, 2017 by mamalioness
	Trauma and drinking Paranoid drunk mental health healthy boundaries (Preview) It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...	Doodlesworth	21	1106	Dec 5, 2017 by Doodlesworth
	AH is shoplifting with our young son - how do I respond? (Preview) My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...	AnnieFenk321	9	985	Dec 5, 2017 by Maresie
	The habit of feeling wrong (Preview) Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...	Aline	8	911	Dec 5, 2017 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 12-5-2017 (Preview) The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...	hotrod	4	811	Dec 5, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Does anyone ever stay married to their AH? (Preview) My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...	Cjm42	7	907	Dec 5, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change reading 12-2-2017 (Preview) Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...	hotrod	6	935	Dec 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Decison time (Preview) I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...	joker	5	1076	Dec 4, 2017 by Maresie
	all hell has broken loose (Preview) omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....	joker	7	907	Dec 4, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C, 12/4 (Preview) Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...	Lyne	4	806	Dec 4, 2017 by mamalioness
	Step 12 posted (Preview) Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...	hotrod	0	625	Dec 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Sunday Night Meeting (Preview) I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters	muddy	0	601	Dec 3, 2017 by muddy
	I don't know where to start (Preview) My SO and I have been best friends for 5-6 years. We ended up getting married and having a daughter this past year . Some background. My husband was married prior and lost his wife in a car accident 7 years ago He was a firefighter at the time and was one of the first on the scene. He also lost his grandparent...	Starbuxchic	2	696	Dec 3, 2017 by Aline
	Hope for Today dec 3 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about turning over our will to our Higher Power, and a couple of ways we may implement doing this. One way to do this is called the God Box; a way of communicating with our HP and then literally letting go of whatever the issue is by placing a note we have written to...	yanksfan51	5	764	Dec 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	checked my husband into rehab today (Preview) It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy, efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking. I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpati...	carrotseed	4	644	Dec 3, 2017 by pinkchip
	I keep hoping time will bring change in her.......bur know the only one I can change is ME (Preview) I have lived with the predictable pattern of my AD's disease long enough that I am getting better at setting protective boundaries for myself. (She does not live with me, she lives a couple of hours away). If I see that a text she has sent is becoming verbally abusive/incoherent, I delete it without r...	lgnutah	4	671	Dec 3, 2017 by serenity47
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/1/17 (Preview) Happy December all. Today's reading discusses how the program works - in a very simple way. Keep coming back and get into the middle of the program. The quote for today --- from Aristotle is perfect. "What we learn to do we learn by doing." The thought for the day --- Listening, hearing, thinking and...	Iamhere	3	574	Dec 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling more myself (Preview) The last week has been awful to say the least .. lol. I wound up at the urgent care which is a glorified triage they changed insurance at work and I was not happy about that. The best guess as I am waiting for the test at this point was a sever kidney infection. They thought I might be having a kidney stone....	SerenityRUS	6	605	Dec 1, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Mini victory (Preview) So last night my AH came home from being out with friends at a sporting event pretty intoxicated. Not shocking. He was apologizing as soon as he walked in for being drunk. My usual reaction would have been to get angry. I didn't! I used the tools I've been learning and it worked- FOR ME. I was calm and actua...	Elabella	8	878	Nov 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Let go of the anger (Preview) I have spent the last two days, writing and writing all my anger and pain. I had a lot. Pages of pages of pure rage and pain. I just wrote and wrote and cried and cried. I cried hard. I feel so drained now, So drained. I feel Like there is nothing left inside me. I feel hollow. I am so tired now. I am exhausted. I r...	joker	5	664	Nov 30, 2017 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/30/17 (Preview) Good late morning MIP family....I apologize for the late posting of the daily. Courage to Change for today discusses our hopes, goals and promises of Al-Anon in a general way. Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Many reflect the same qualities and values as us and...	Iamhere	1	532	Nov 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Christmas Anxiety (Preview) So with the holidays fast approaching I am experiencing high anxiety when thinking about how to deal with Christmas Eve dinner this year. For the entire duration of my marriage/relationship to AH (27 years), we have had Christmas Eve dinner at my parents house. Before we had our daughter it didn't me...	Elabella	8	778	Nov 30, 2017 by Maresie
	The Holiday Struggle (Preview) Put up the tree and am decorating with the kids. My ex-AW is away at rehab and this is usually her big project and she is really really good at it. Everyone looks forward to it because she is so into it. Now they're stuck with me. I'm doing my best but it pales in comparison. And I did not anticipate how much th...	WestMan	10	869	Nov 29, 2017 by 2HP
	Nearing a melt down (Preview) I am nearing a break down. I can feel it. I left the hotel and came home. I have not officially moved yet. I have not taken the apartment yet. I have to decide by tomorrow. I came home and thought I can manage. I am so wrong. I have my daughter with her mental health issues that I am dealing with. She is going dow...	joker	4	662	Nov 29, 2017 by Maresie
	Looking for advice ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello i am in a similar situation as any of you. My husband of 8 yrs and total of 16 years together is battling addiction to alcohol. He has suffered 4 sezuires in 8 years from trying to stop and had attempted AA but not seriously. He has been to a six month program stayed 4 and is now 2 months in a year program b...	Mummie21	52	7560	Nov 29, 2017 by serenity47
	Difficult days (Preview) Hi all, just had to post tonight after what has been a very difficult day, the last two weeks since my ex partner died have been hard, I just find the memories of our 4 years together are swamping me a lot of the time. I left him 3 months before he died while he was on a bender that seemed like it was never going t...	Sorcha	11	3128	Nov 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 11 has been posted to the Step Board (Preview) The 11th Step has been posted to the Step Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepw...	hotrod	1	462	Nov 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change November 29 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the positive change one can experience by working the Al-Anon program and the new way of living that Al-Anon offers. The author shares that, before Al-Anon, they thought that being an adult meant being in control and looking good on t...	Skorpi	2	1053	Nov 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 11-28-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for November 28, reminds us that "no situation is truly hopeless". Most importantly, the point is that despair and hopelessness are human attitudes and not the conditions of our lives. . It points out that in desperate situations,w,e human beings give up hope because we are un...	hotrod	8	576	Nov 28, 2017 by 2HP
	Brand new member- so many questions.... (Preview) Hi- I'm two meetings in as of yesterday. My husband is a very high functioning alcoholic- he drinks from morning til night every single day for a very long time already. We have a 14 yr old daughter. This last year his disease has really progressed. He used to be to be kind, engaging and interested in doin...	Elabella	15	3538	Nov 28, 2017 by MaggieRuth
	THE MOOD SWINGS!!! (Preview) I am so exhausted from my husband's mood swings. One day he is so nice and loving and thankful the next day everything overwhelms him and we can't talk about anything without it becoming a fight. I have locked myself in my study and sent him out for the whole morning to "play with our kid" so I could clean th...	AnnieFenk321	8	596	Nov 28, 2017 by Maresie
	C2C, 11/27 (Preview) Gifts from Alanon : Today's reading talks about what the writer accomplished from being a member of Alanon as well as from having a relationship with HP. These gifts include proud of being a survivor, acknowlegement of having dignity, having a wealth of experience that he/she can share, doesn't...	Lyne	6	514	Nov 28, 2017 by Maresie
	Need to sit in the silence... Help? (Preview) I am really struggling to be my recovery self in the non recovery world. I know this is not helped by my long held patterns of "all or nothing". Example: I spent almost five years literally shut out from the world. By choice. To recover, starting with the road to rock bottom. Now I'm on wobbly legs....	a4l	10	3130	Nov 28, 2017 by Maresie
	WHY DO YOU STAY?! - so frustrated right now. (Preview) My husband doesn't work. He spends money on things for himself regardless of whether we can afford it or not, when he wants to he just takes the money. He shoplifts and drinks and uses porn. He claims he has stopped now... He is angry and depressed a lot of the time. He speaks to me rudely and angrily all t...	AnnieFenk321	9	726	Nov 28, 2017 by Maresie
	Stressed! (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm really stressed over my ex's behaviour recently. We split up because of his drinking and being aggressive when drunk. And I will be leaving within the next couple months. His drinking has escalated recently and I'm finding him impossible to be around lately. I'm worried, he d...	Mabel	10	671	Nov 28, 2017 by Maresie
	adult daughter and husband drinking too much, what's your advice for me? (Preview) My AD and her husband are over drinking. Not sure if they're alcoholics, or just over drinking, but that's for them to figure out, not me. We have a really good relationship with both of them. They are 30. This is not the first time my husband and I have worried or observed that they drink too much. So...	fullmom	10	745	Nov 27, 2017 by Maresie
	Suggested to AH separation (Preview) My AH was once sober for 12 years then on and off every few months for years. Now he is drinking every month. It is escalating and I am scared. We have been through marriage counseling more than once and he has had counseling more than once. He has had a DUI. I am so tired of this. Even when he's not drinki...	wifeofalcoholic	3	720	Nov 27, 2017 by Takotsubo
	Detaching VS Letting Go (Preview) I would much appreciate any ESH on the differences in detaching vs letting go.Examples sure would be great.	SoggySlippers	5	732	Nov 27, 2017 by Jerry F
	Missing memories .. (Preview) My daughter in having contact with her dad has once again had another bad episode of the anxiety/Tourette's. It was really bad. Of course she didn't tell me and that irritates me more than anything because someone who has known her 3 months and has not lived the situation with her has all of the inf...	SerenityRUS	8	683	Nov 27, 2017 by serenity47
	the hardest thing i have ever had to do (Preview) I ask AH to not come home for a while. About 5 days ago I had a chat with "sober" AH and we had a really good talk. Although he remained strong that he could stop drinking on his own without help. I told AH that I would give him one chance and one chance only. Never really believing that I would have to act on that...	Curlyblu	13	916	Nov 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	While shepherds washed their socks by night- (Preview) -all seated on the ground... it is thanksgiving in Canada and USA, coming up- great expectations... In NZ we don't have thanksgiving- we wait until Christmas for family get togethers and feasting. Yesterday we had a birthday party down by the lake- for our youngest daughter. She had two friends wit...	DavidG	19	3390	Nov 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	"The Spiritual Foundation" (Preview) There was a recent thread where a newcomer had come to this MIP site to ask about an alcoholic symptom a "friend" is apparently exhibiting. I saw it and believed it belonged in the appropriate room of AA because we don't keep focus on the alcoholic in Al-Anon. ....yet I recalled my own need to understan...	2HP	5	1068	Nov 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Financial consequences :( :( (Preview) I got to the end of reading the big book and it talks there about a wife whose formerly alcoholic husband drank a lot of coffee and smoked a lot after he became sober and how eventually her nagging led him to get angry and eventually drink again. The book says that while he was clearly at fault, she learned t...	AnnieFenk321	5	812	Nov 27, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Thanksgiving support (Preview) Courage and I will be keeping the chat room open today for anyone that needs support during the holiday. This is something that we used to do in the room before John passed. In his memory I'd like to see us do this again throughout the holidays. We know that for many dealing with the disease of alcoholism,...	Overcome	7	2747	Nov 26, 2017 by wp
	Hope for Today Nov 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the chaos that an alcoholic home can be. Many of us who grew up in or have lived in a home with an A have learned some survival techniques like-not trusting anyone, not being trustworthy, being unable to stand up for ourselves. A sentence that resonated fo...	yanksfan51	4	622	Nov 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	A mothers fear but handing it over. (Preview) I have returned from my week long visit with my daughter. I did stay in the hotel for the entire week as planned and we carried on with our activities despite the chaos/drama unfolding at her house. For the most part she was very pleasant to be around and we had some fun. I was honoured to meet her sponso...	serenity47	3	598	Nov 26, 2017 by hotrod
	adopting new roles (Preview) this is my first post in this forum, so I'm sorry if it's a bit all over the place. my mother has struggled with alcoholism for the past 5 years, and recently I've reached a breaking point. it's gotten to the point where Im not happy coming home anymore, and im constantly in fear of another relapse (she's...	Lele	5	580	Nov 26, 2017 by Maresie
	Update (Preview) Hey all! So, since ABF ended up on hospital (parents took him after seeing him in withdrawal - they finally saw the complete effect of his drinking) he hasn't drunk at all and he's been in group therapy and is on the waiting list for individual therapy. The stress of the drinking has reduced - although t...	MizzB	9	737	Nov 25, 2017 by MaggieRuth
	Update (Preview) So I get two cards on Thanksgiving from my AH's mother. One for myself, and one for my kid. Both have a $20.00 in them. So I called up my MIL to thank her, and I ask why the money? She told me she just feels so bad about this situation, and she loves us and wants to help out, but that's the best she can do. Awe, so sh...	PosiesandPuppies	4	584	Nov 25, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.