The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for November 28, reminds us that "no situation is truly hopeless". Most importantly, the point is that despair and hopelessness are human attitudes and not the conditions of our lives. . It points out that in desperate situations,w,e human beings give up hope because we are unable to believe in the possibility of change.
The reading states that this is because we are relying on our own judgment alone and have tried to correct what is wrong by using the wrong tools and that is why we have reason for despair.
We must learn. in Al-Anon to recognize our errors, to face the roadblocks of self-will and self-righteousness by implementing alanon tools. We must stop thinking that as thing is impossible because we have not been able to accomplish it. Once we learn to use the Al-Anon tools and let ourselves be guided by God's will instead of our own distorted view-- life will change..
The quote is from Mark "if thou canst believe all things are possible to him that believed"
I know once I embraced the simple tools of living one day at a time, focused on myself, letting go of expectations and trusting HP life did change. I must admit, it did not change in the fashion that I would've liked, but it was manageable and I was given the courage, serenity and wisdom to survive.. Thank you HP
Good morning Betty and Maresie, thank you for your shares!
I grew up learning how to solve problems. In my family, my dad either fixed broken things, or they stayed broken. I worked with him in the garage on cars a lot, and often, we didn't have the correct tool to do whatever, so I learned to improvise with what we did have, try a bunch of different things, and keep working at it until we were able to fix whatever part of the car needed fixing. (No transmission jack? No problem. We have ropes, pulleys, and lumber. Instead of supporting from below, we will suspend from above!) These skills have served me well in a variety of situations. I don't worry about what I don't have, I just use what I do have to accomplish whatever goal.
In dealing with an active alcoholic, though, this meant that I tried a LOT of "wrong tools" before giving up and seeking out the tool I didn't have handy - Al-Anon. For me, Al-Anon was the right tool, and luckily, the price was low, so I could afford to use it!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Betty for your service and the daily! Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. I arrived feeling beat down, hopeless and helpless. I believe that's exactly where I had to be to receive the priceless gift of serenity and recovery. I did feel as if my life, family, situation were well beyond repair and I'm not sure that word hopeless adequately describes where my heart and mind were.
Arriving with an open mind, many things I heard sounded 'lovely' - yet I was still uncertain how recovery could help my world simply because I was so hopeless. Yet, I was willing to try anything as all things my own will suggested had failed. Slowly with practicing what others suggested, I began the spiritual journey of recovery. Today, I truly believe that my HP wants me happy, joyous and free and it's the disease that stirs up the negative emotions, thoughts, etc. Hopelessness is no longer my go-to pattern, but instead is a choice. I have tools, support, steps and a HP that can lead me to hope instead.
Happy Tuesday all - grateful for you, this program and all who came before me. Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks to all for ESH. I like the reading very much because it encourages me not to give up and not to be negative. In the case of my little pup with cancer, it was an impossible situation yet we did try everything we could to get her in remission for a while and it didn't work either. Today is two weeks since we put her down and I am able to be grateful that she is no longer suffering. I believe it was humane to let her go even though the decision was gut wrenching to make. Alanon teaches me to look for the good even in bad. Lyne
I cannot and could not prevent my spirit from joining and reading this post tho I didn't know from the first the actual context. It fits me very well at the moment and I get to see another angle again and that being the consequence of admitting my powerlessness. All of Al-Anon has brought me to that truthful admission and also brought me to how to deal with the consequences of it. Helpless versus Hopeless is an early lesson and practice which still has value and power especially now that I am older and subject to two of them.
I hear my elder sponsor's voice and lessons regarding being helpless by myself yet not hopeless at all as I watched the Family Groups around me survive and thrive in spite of the disease. I learned faith..."If they can, I can" and I could if I did what they did in the ways that they did it.
My literature in in the van ready for the next meeting which is going on right now on this board and page...Going out to the garage to continue my recovery. Mahalo all for your support. ((((hus))))
Betty, thank you for your service, and thanks to everyone for their ESH on this topic.
Letting go of expectations was the hardest part for me in this program. I was brought up a certain way, and I believe that everyone should follow the "rules," laws, whatever society tells you is the "right thing" to do. And I like logic. So those two things together made it hard to accept that this disease is counter-intuitive, all-encompassing, and down right CRAZY!! LOL!
Add to that my initial anger at my HP for allowing this to happen to me AGAIN! I now know it was my refusal to pick up the tools, and stick to my boundaries that "allowed" this crazy back into my life.
My work on program has not been perfect, nor quite in order... but it and MIP is what saved me from a life of chaos and inability to act (due to fear). I am beginning to use program in many "regular" areas of my life... and I am feeling so much better!
I entered my marriage such a strong & capable person... maybe with Al-Anon, I can leave my marriage close to that strong, capable person! HP willing!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((Lyne))) - so very sorry for the loss of your fur-baby. I know how hard hat is for those of us who live with and love our pets!!! May you grieve fully and fast and know that your pup is in a better place....huge (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I like this reading about faith, and especially the last three words of Betty's post
Years ago, a recovery friend told me that she had the feeling I didn't believe it could work for me, that somehow Higher Power wasn't powerful enough to help me. She was right, I felt uniquely flawed. I later learned that my doubts prevented me from moving forward, and faith was indeed essential.
I can remember being asked a question that stayed with me, "How powerful do you think Higher Power is??"
