Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Decison time


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:
Decison time


I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to.  She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggressive toward me. I had been through this with her a few times.She would not let me go to the doctor with her. I finally made it there with her after a lot of arguing, ect..She is having another breakdown! Another break with reality! My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. She is on 911 alert, if she gets worse. The doctor said never seen her like this before. They had to give her injection ASAP, to stop the paranoid. She is to go back to doctor next week and again on the 21st. I will be going with her. 

I have to now decide, move out of the house with her and look after her, put her in a home of some kind, let her live on her own, or find some kind of mental health housing for her. I first have to get her stable. I found out also she has not been taking her medication for depression. I found all her bottles of pills she never took. Pro's, she would be with others if she is in a group home and will have 24 hour supervision if she gets accepted into a mental health home. I assume there would be a wait list for housing for her. I can only apply on her behalf and see what happens. I have to find someone to look for housing for her. I will be discussing with the doctor and nurse if they could help me get housing for her. I too will be doing some research and see what I can find. 

Option number 2, is I take her and move into an apartment with her and look after her as I had been doing. Option number 3 is I find her a place a one bedroom apartment to live in so she can have her own space. 

I have to do something ASAP as she is very sick right now and not dealing with reality. She is at my sister's home currently till Sunday. She can not even pick up her medication., I have to go there later and check on her and start her on her medication. The pressure is so huge. I am so stressed. I feel alone dealing with all this. 

Then there is my medical issue, the alcoholic that lives under the the same roof. I am so stressed. I am having anxiety right now. I need perspective. 

I am going to crash myself if I do not take care of me. I am going to be doing that. I slept and slept last night, despite the alcoholic being drunk. I was so done, just drained beyond words. I had been dealing and worrying about my daughter bad and now I know what is going on, what is happening with her so that helps a lot. The doctor said she needs rest, rest and need to be left alone till she stabilize. Let her rest, leave her alone, but just check on her to make sure she is eating, not in immediate danger to herself. Then there is Christmas, dear god. 

Moving her with her mental condition the way it is, is it safe right now? Would moving her to an apartment be safe now? Do I wait till she is a bit more stable? I forgot to ask the doctor these questions yesterday, as we were dealing with her mental break down, and needed to get her under control. She is so sick right now and my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces.

I talked to the alcoholic yesterday and told him, can he support me by not drinking in the house as I have my daughter with me and she needs a quite place to be in. He said this is my house, and yes I will support you and her more. I will be there for your daughter more. Nothing has changed. He is drunk now as I write this. I guess I have answered my own question. I guess, my concern is it safe to move her to an apartment or somewhere else when she is in middle of a break down currently? The abf does not bother her when he is drunk, he does not go to the basement. He just stays upstairs and talk to himself and get drunk. So I know she is safe in her room. I will call the mental health crisis line and talk with someone. 

So reality is I  know daughter is having a mental breakdown, currently. She needs someone to give her meds daily to her,. She needs a safe, quite place to stabilize and we need to get her out of this house. But it needs to be a planned move for her, rather than just saying we are moving tomorrow, start packing. Will the stress of a move right now be too much for her? Do I wait till she is stable more? Is she is in immediate danger right now? She is in basement, has a room and is safe for today. 

 

These are things that are going through my head like round and round and round!            



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 472
Date:

did u apply for SSI for her ? if she gets it,that will pay for a group/board and care home as well as state insurance for her meds/needs. normaly dont want to give specific advice but this is subject i know about.

__________________
ALYCE R KINIKIN


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

((Joker}) prayers on the way

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 282
Date:

If she is a threat to herself or to others, she can be involuntarily hospitalized. You would just need to call police or take her to an emergency room and tell them this. If she is hospitalized, they will check to see what her insurance company coverage limits are, and she will not be kept beyond that point. As a part of a good hospitalization, there will be a therapist or social worker who will communicate with the family to let them know what to expect. When the time comes for her to be released, a social worker will work with her family (you) to find appropriate options. Some states have more to offer than others.
Mental illness is an illness like any other illness. There are treatments.
Part of taking care of yourself is setting boundaries and not accepting a burden that you cannot carry. If you do not feel that you can care for her in your own home, you must voice your concerns.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

I'm also sending prayers your way Joker - it does appear you have tons on your plate so also some positive thoughts for a reprieve of some sort! I would certainly seek any assistance from any local resources - each city/state/county/country has different support but most do have assistance for mental health issues/patients. (((Hugs))) too!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 373
Date:

Try the National Alliance on Mental Illness. 

They can give you details of the local chapter 

18009506269 .

 

Ask for help. 

Maresie 



__________________
Maresie
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.