Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Becky1 · Becky1

Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....

concerned123 · concerned123

I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...

melamom815 · melamom815

Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...

redrelic · redrelic

Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...

Diva · Diva

My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...

Christy · Christy

It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...

maresie · maresie

One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...

jmh137 · jmh137

Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137

ddub · ddub

So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....

round3 · round3

As I posted earlier, I've been having issues with cutting people off who I have trouble with in my life. Sometimes that may be okay, sometimes I know it just isn't. Sometimes other things are at play and I just need to use the tools of al-anon to deal with it. Last night is a perfect example. Last night...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Dear Alanons, After being so distraught with grief, for a few days, I am feeling much better! Much better. Actually....I am feeling stronger by the minute! I feel so much weight has been taken off me. I am not trying to make this heavy, demanding, draining relationship HAPPEN ANYMORE! Even though I am...

gardengal · gardengal

Every year I post this same question, to make people think. Finding a nook in your home, a place in the garden or yard, that you call your very own. An oasis of sorts where you can escape to when needed to regain your sanity. In our harried lives we tend to forget to take time to rest, meditate, relax, find...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi everyone, I've not posted in quite a while,but felt the need to come and share with all you wonderful people again. It's about a year ago since I first found MIP, and I realise today when I reflect back to last year how very confused I'd become again then. I'm still challenging myself to live in this day...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...collapsed at the doctors' surgery today and had to be brought home after being taken to hospital for another check up. My friend is clearing up down stairs after bringing me home, feeding me and making up drinks for the night. So this is just a quickie before I bed down for the rest of the night. My ve...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I moved into a house with a lot of of other people which has been very very stressful for me. One of the people in the house turned out to be a psychopath. A total liar, bully and a well I won't say anymore. Eventually after tons of complaints the landlord made him move out. He went last Saturda...

tea2 · tea2

Hi Family One of the reoccuring topics I see on here is money and finances.I'm certainly not breaking news by saying the cost of gas is ever rising. So I felt by sharing these links (which I have found to be pretty accurate) others might find them to be a useful tool as well. http://www.gasbuddy.com/an...

Patrick34 · Patrick34

I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...

greta · greta

Last night my brother mercifully died from lung cancer. He had been on hospice since October and had been doing very well. He was able to say goodbye and make amends to those close to him before the end. The end came so fast it was surprising. I am happy he did not suffer a long and painful death. Howev...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...

maresie · maresie

I am just determined to get benefits, holidays and time to myself. I am sick of being a slave. I got stuck with all the work in my last job while everyone else could take off for everything. I asked for one morning off to go tot he doctor and they had a fit! I deserve better. I deserve to have a life. I deserve t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As I last posted, my ah is about to significantly reduce his time at work in order to heal his back and work his recovery program. This is a man whose greatest addiction has been work, and ultimately his out of balance life got him to the point he is today. He has gone from not being able to attend his child...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family))) This Sunday Feb 10th at 9pm EST is our monthly group conscious/business meeting. The agenda for the meeting is: Secretary's Report Treasurer's Report Old Business: Meeting Schedule/Chair Schedule Update New Business: Meeting Protocol & Manners The meeting will be i...

maresie · maresie

I'm off to another interview this morning. I need those benefits so bad! Please send up some prayers for me to have some stabilty, sanity and comfort in my work environment. Maresie.

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Since the A has been out of jail he has insisted on emailing, calling, texting and completely violating the restraining order and disrespecting my wishes. My son answered the phone once and I told him don't call me anymore. I will call you in March if you're still doing well you can see the kids. I tho...

QOD · QOD

He called to apologize again and tell me how much he LOVES me and doesn't want to live without me. He gave me all the same crap he always gives me. How I am what keeps him going every day and he needs me. How much he loves. How he is going to prove to me that he loves me and be a better man. He is going to work har...

maresie · maresie

Last year when the A was ill, I pulled out al the stops to take care of him, found him a place, fed him, took care of him, supported him, encouraged him and worked day and night to support it all. Now I am ill, really absolutely exhausted to the bone and I don't have the same ferocious passion to take care of me...

bev · bev

hi my family, i was wondering if some of have gone though this..my daughter is expecting in 4 weeks as in my earlier post the baby isnt gaining weight{daughter hasnt gained any weight in 2 months}THE ULTRASOUND SAID THE BABY IS ALMOST 2LBS{DEC 10}i want to go up there to be with my daughter and also in cas...

optimistundone · optimistundone

If I could eliminate 2 words from A's vocabulary they would "probably" and "maybe." He says this about most everything, which I had not realized until recently. It's just enough to give me hope that "maybe he'll get up with the baby", "probably won't get up w...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), For all of you in the path of the storms, I'm sending you all the love and prayers I can. Here's hoping you're all safe and sound. Let us know you're okay or if you need anything. Love and prayers for all those affected by the storms. I know we have some Alanon families in the area...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some days ago someone in the family recommended this Thought for the day website and I went to visit it. Since then I have read some great thoughts, however I was particularly struck by this one and it has made me reassess my own Strength and Weakness. Take what you like from it or simply discard it, how...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I Hi Friends, I've been in a funk the past few weeks, but think I finally cracked it a bit by looking at my divorce papers (a month later) and making a decision about and phoning an attorney. Time to move on. Things are shifting a bit, and I see God clearly at work. It's odd though, it doesn't bring me peac...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hullo fellow alanons. After refusing to play alcoholic games anymore and asking my AH to stay away, I am now in my 5th day of separation. The pain is setting in. The loss the sadness. Oh how I miss him He is distraught and shocked beyond belief that I actually mean it. I have taken the biggest risk of my life...

QOD · QOD

Well, I have to say that I expected him to EVENTUALLY regret how he treated me Sunday and Monday night. I figured he would apologize and ask for forgiveness. I just didn't expect it this soon. He called me at lunch time today and said he was sorry for the things he said and he didn't mean any of it. He was h...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...

round3 · round3

Not sure where I am with myself right now. I've been processing a lot of things that have gone on in the past couple of months and I think I'm beginning to get to the anger portion of my "stuff". As many of you know, my A broke off our long distance relationship following his slip at Thanksgivi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hi everyone! I am struggling with a few things but basically my life is great! Jen is without power I think. She and I talk everyday sometimes late at night! One time I called her because I hit my head and couldn't reach my alcoholic! Anyway, Jen is so special to me. I don't know what I would do without h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey Friends in Alanon! I need some input on my mom being at all the Alanon meetings I go to. I cannot feel free to share my issues when my mom is right there. Once a month I am able to go to a meeting outside our area 60 miles away and I don't drive! I am not sure what to do to share my ESH with someone except on this...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I need to vent... I am not happy where I am today. Before I came to al-anon, I believed that I could never get myself out of my painful marriage. I believed that I could never make it (financially or otherwise) without him. I was in a deep depression, yet still not sure what was wrong....

Christy · Christy

This is Eckhart Tolle speaking of living in the NOW. He has a wonderful way of explaining that we are not the things we have been through. It is simply that, things we have lived through. He also explains what the NOW is. As usual I have to say this may be a bit out there for some... but then you don't h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Lately, I have been feeling like my life has sunk into a rut. Same thing day in day out. 4 days a week I get up early and go to a job an hour away, 2 or 3 nights a week I go to another job. I spend every weekend working. That affects both my social life and my daughter's. Neither of us has one basically. Some...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have reached a point where my stress was overwhelming. Things started to shift me for me. The house I live in has become more bearable because of the exit of two people. I left the job that was causing me tremendous stress. I will get unemployment for a while which gives me some time to r...

gknee · gknee

I'm warning you now-- I'm on a rant. SA/AH is "sick" in bed, I'm at home, kids have snow day from school. We are buried in a big winter storm. I've shoveled twice, ran 3 miles on my treadmill. spending some time here answering others posts. I can't stop obsessing about H using again! He h...

meagain · meagain

We just got back from a 6 day holiday and my sister called and asked me to call her back. She told me that my brother Jack (52) has been sick and they found a golf size mass in his kidney--apparently with the tests so far they think it is cancer. His wife died 17 years ago at age 24 of bone cancer. We have had 5 ma...

bev · bev

i went to his work at lunch time and told him about my daughter and that i want to go to ny in case something happens to the baby,he in return tells me to wait until she is born then go up,i told him i want to be up there in case it does happen that she doesnt make it,his words{WAIT TO SEE AFTER MY DAUGHTER HAS THE B...

verenda · verenda

Hi I have been very detached from AH since last Saturday, mainly because I am just trying to protect myself from his emotional abuse, which he denies. Because of the total lack of emotional intimacy, emotional abuse, his violent anger, etc I have not wanted any pyhsical contact, I talk very little exc...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I hope I can be really really clear about this, speak from where I'm at, and share my experience/strength/hope only. I'm also hoping that by sharing, I'm not going to open myself up to mean commentaries, and instead be able to share with all of you how things are, god knows how slowly, getting better....

QOD · QOD

My ex came over last night to "collect" things he has given me over the years. He took the digital camera he gave me a year ago for Xmas, the laptop computer he gave me AND the kids last spring, 3 diamond rings, my wedding band and my .38 Special he gave me 12 years ago when we moved into our very 1s...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us. We need to let go, on a de...

maresie · maresie

Every bit of me wants to be out there in a panic looking for work but my health is at a standstill and I am going to have to take some time to regroup. I am absolutely tired to the bone and do not know how to get beyond the fatigue state I am in. I also feel incredibly alone. I am trying to rest and eat right and reg...

maresie · maresie

I signed up for unemployment today. That will be enough to pay my bills. I am going to try to put some time into going to meetings which I can't do when I am working all the hours there are. I am also going to put some time into trying to get my space ok. I am really really tired to the bone so I am also going to...

marmare · marmare

Over this past weekend there was an incident that I had to face. Although things have been so different with my A, he is in a controlled drinking state. Has been for the last year. He crossed the line and was extremely intoxicated at home while we had company. He hasn't done cocaine in about a year whi...

dekare · dekare

Making a long story short... My best friend and I spent a lot of time together in the 80's having a great time partying. We were both in our 20's at that time. He was always the life of the party, but as time went by I started to notice changes in him. He went from being the life of the party to becoming mean whe...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Tomorrow is day 3 after my AH tried the abandonment game and I didn't play. I let him walk. And then wouldn't let him come back. It's very quiet today with no contact after his pleading yesterday, now he's trying the "silence, she'll think I've suicided and panic after a few days"... As this...

kissers · kissers

I went to the store during lunch today. I was in the shampoo aisle looking for conditioner. There was a couple to my right looking for shampoo and conditioner also. The wife said she was going to buy Suave conditioner. My big mouth opened and I proceeded to tell her that, that conditioner has a tendency t...

maresie · maresie

My assignment has come to an end. I am looking for another job in earnest. Please pray I get something soon. I need health benefits, a nice environment, no more crazy bosses and an easy commute. I need a life that isn't so hard! Maresie.

wpb70 · wpb70

Hello. Tonight, I am worried sick about my older sister, who is an A that was in recovery. She has been fighting a long and hard battle with her addiction to alcohol and drugs and was doing very well for some time. I believe she was sober for about 5 months prior to her first relapse. Since Christmas, she...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I am a grateful member of Alanon. Without the understanding and support from this program and its members I would be back on the merry-go-round again. Thanks for the lovely replies guys... I'm never alone in what I experience. During that latest episode --3 weeks of withdrawal, avoidance and drunke...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...the pain I am experiencing in my recovery journey needs to be looked at in much the same way as post surgical pain. One has surgery and there is pain afterwards, but one knows that that pain will stop as healing takes place. Okay, so that is what I have to do now, instead of fighting against the pain of...

blb · blb

Hello - I posted a couple of days ago about my brother, who is currently in a brief addiction/behavior program as a result of a second DUI and his threat to harm himself. I talked to him last night and he's remorseful and said he never plans to drink again (yeah, yeah, I know...), wants to stop hanging arou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Here We Go Again (Preview) Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....	Becky1	4	623	Feb 11, 2008 by maresie
	Does it ever work out? (Preview) I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...	concerned123	8	742	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Been a long time!!! (Preview) Hi Everyone!! It has been forever since I have been here. We still don't have internet at home so I am at my mom's catching up on everything internet! lol. Just a quick catch up for everyone. The kids and I are doing great. My AH has been sober for almost a year now and is doing wonderful! We all are stil...	melamom815	3	603	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	Told him sobriety is only way for us....? (Preview) Had a phone call to AH regarding finances. It's a nightmare and humiliating to go through it but I will cause I have to. I'm not going back to him. Not for a long time.... I am confused though because in all this I have not told him that he has to stop drinking to reconcile with me. But today he said, "Why...	silverbrumby	3	701	Feb 11, 2008 by debilyn
	I'm New, and Feeling Raw (Preview) Hey everyone I'm brand new to Al Anon, and new to this group. My spouse is an alcoholic. I feel pretty empty right now, because it hurts too much to feel - so I guess feeling empty is good. I know I'm not perfect, and I make alot of mistakes. I know that there were problems in our relationship waaaaaaaay befo...	redrelic	10	674	Feb 11, 2008 by CoDependant
	That old devil suspicion (Preview) My A has had severe back troubles..stenosis, which I guess is very, very painful. He had a series of injections into his back which may have eased his pain somewhat, but not entirely. He was given vicodin for the pain, which scares me to death. He has not ever been addicted to drugs as far as I know, but...	Diva	17	884	Feb 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	Some Grandson Humor (Preview) It was my Grandson Devyn's 4th Birthday yesterday. I decided to take him out to dinner so he could tell me all about his party at day care etc. Here is the conversation as we were driving to Applebee's. Devyn: Gramma Jo? (my name is Christy Jo) Me: Yes Devyn? Devyn: I'm really hungry Me: Good! What do...	Christy	13	755	Feb 11, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	sad news (Preview) One of my cats died yesterday. He had been poorly for some time. He had not been taking care of his fur and had been very very tired. I had no idea he was so ill. I felt tremendously guilty because I was gone a while interviewing. Then i remembered there was no way that this cat would have survived without...	maresie	12	743	Feb 11, 2008 by carosie
	Just joined to relate (Preview) Hello to everyone, I am a mother of an alcoholic and drug user. It hurts. I want some place to go to relate to others like myself. jmh137	jmh137	22	925	Feb 11, 2008 by jmh137
	avoidance of reality (Preview) So isn't it amazing how we can feel or look at things in ways that are all mixed up. In some ways I feel I can see some things clearly now but another one will sneak away and hide from me somehow. ah-ha, this is the what is my part in all this. So I am giving myself my own intro to step 4 which I will look at next....	ddub	2	582	Feb 10, 2008 by round3
	Cutting people off (part 2) (Preview) As I posted earlier, I've been having issues with cutting people off who I have trouble with in my life. Sometimes that may be okay, sometimes I know it just isn't. Sometimes other things are at play and I just need to use the tools of al-anon to deal with it. Last night is a perfect example. Last night...	round3	8	672	Feb 10, 2008 by round3
	Feeling good. (Preview) Dear Alanons, After being so distraught with grief, for a few days, I am feeling much better! Much better. Actually....I am feeling stronger by the minute! I feel so much weight has been taken off me. I am not trying to make this heavy, demanding, draining relationship HAPPEN ANYMORE! Even though I am...	silverbrumby	4	597	Feb 10, 2008 by Becky1
	Where is YOUR private space away from it all? (Preview) Every year I post this same question, to make people think. Finding a nook in your home, a place in the garden or yard, that you call your very own. An oasis of sorts where you can escape to when needed to regain your sanity. In our harried lives we tend to forget to take time to rest, meditate, relax, find...	gardengal	15	684	Feb 10, 2008 by gardengal
	It's Been A While. (Preview) Hi everyone, I've not posted in quite a while,but felt the need to come and share with all you wonderful people again. It's about a year ago since I first found MIP, and I realise today when I reflect back to last year how very confused I'd become again then. I'm still challenging myself to live in this day...	Barbs45	4	450	Feb 10, 2008 by ddub
	Poorly... (Preview) ...collapsed at the doctors' surgery today and had to be brought home after being taken to hospital for another check up. My friend is clearing up down stairs after bringing me home, feeding me and making up drinks for the night. So this is just a quickie before I bed down for the rest of the night. My ve...	Heartbroken	13	547	Feb 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	more hard news (Preview) As you all know I moved into a house with a lot of of other people which has been very very stressful for me. One of the people in the house turned out to be a psychopath. A total liar, bully and a well I won't say anymore. Eventually after tons of complaints the landlord made him move out. He went last Saturda...	maresie	2	513	Feb 9, 2008 by kissers
	Daily Finances (a tool I find helpful) (Preview) Hi Family One of the reoccuring topics I see on here is money and finances.I'm certainly not breaking news by saying the cost of gas is ever rising. So I felt by sharing these links (which I have found to be pretty accurate) others might find them to be a useful tool as well. http://www.gasbuddy.com/an...	tea2	0	433	Feb 9, 2008 by tea2
	My Mother....... (Preview) I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...	Patrick34	8	486	Feb 9, 2008 by Maria123
	should I have or shouldn't I have gone? (Preview) Last night my brother mercifully died from lung cancer. He had been on hospice since October and had been doing very well. He was able to say goodbye and make amends to those close to him before the end. The end came so fast it was surprising. I am happy he did not suffer a long and painful death. Howev...	greta	11	772	Feb 9, 2008 by Maria123
	Tired of being alone! (Preview) I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...	carolinagirl	18	729	Feb 8, 2008 by round3
	going on anoher interview on monday (Preview) I am just determined to get benefits, holidays and time to myself. I am sick of being a slave. I got stuck with all the work in my last job while everyone else could take off for everything. I asked for one morning off to go tot he doctor and they had a fit! I deserve better. I deserve to have a life. I deserve t...	maresie	2	475	Feb 8, 2008 by nmike
	What do you think? (Preview) As I last posted, my ah is about to significantly reduce his time at work in order to heal his back and work his recovery program. This is a man whose greatest addiction has been work, and ultimately his out of balance life got him to the point he is today. He has gone from not being able to attend his child...	Loupiness	8	801	Feb 8, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	February Business Meeting-Sunday Night! (Preview) Hello ((((Family))) This Sunday Feb 10th at 9pm EST is our monthly group conscious/business meeting. The agenda for the meeting is: Secretary's Report Treasurer's Report Old Business: Meeting Schedule/Chair Schedule Update New Business: Meeting Protocol & Manners The meeting will be i...	david62	0	418	Feb 8, 2008 by david62
	prayers please (Preview) I'm off to another interview this morning. I need those benefits so bad! Please send up some prayers for me to have some stabilty, sanity and comfort in my work environment. Maresie.	maresie	6	453	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	Why won't he just leave me alone? (Preview) Since the A has been out of jail he has insisted on emailing, calling, texting and completely violating the restraining order and disrespecting my wishes. My son answered the phone once and I told him don't call me anymore. I will call you in March if you're still doing well you can see the kids. I tho...	carolinagirl	6	593	Feb 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	My ex called again last night -Urrgghhh (Preview) He called to apologize again and tell me how much he LOVES me and doesn't want to live without me. He gave me all the same crap he always gives me. How I am what keeps him going every day and he needs me. How much he loves. How he is going to prove to me that he loves me and be a better man. He is going to work har...	QOD	4	687	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	Taking care of myself the hardest topic (Preview) Last year when the A was ill, I pulled out al the stops to take care of him, found him a place, fed him, took care of him, supported him, encouraged him and worked day and night to support it all. Now I am ill, really absolutely exhausted to the bone and I don't have the same ferocious passion to take care of me...	maresie	5	626	Feb 8, 2008 by maresie
	has anyone else felt this way (Preview) hi my family, i was wondering if some of have gone though this..my daughter is expecting in 4 weeks as in my earlier post the baby isnt gaining weight{daughter hasnt gained any weight in 2 months}THE ULTRASOUND SAID THE BABY IS ALMOST 2LBS{DEC 10}i want to go up there to be with my daughter and also in cas...	bev	7	682	Feb 8, 2008 by leo
	As and their Rhetoric (Preview) If I could eliminate 2 words from A's vocabulary they would "probably" and "maybe." He says this about most everything, which I had not realized until recently. It's just enough to give me hope that "maybe he'll get up with the baby", "probably won't get up w...	optimistundone	5	548	Feb 8, 2008 by Loupiness
	Prayers for our Alanon families (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), For all of you in the path of the storms, I'm sending you all the love and prayers I can. Here's hoping you're all safe and sound. Let us know you're okay or if you need anything. Love and prayers for all those affected by the storms. I know we have some Alanon families in the area...	Karilynn	2	472	Feb 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	Strength and Weakness... (Preview) Some days ago someone in the family recommended this Thought for the day website and I went to visit it. Since then I have read some great thoughts, however I was particularly struck by this one and it has made me reassess my own Strength and Weakness. Take what you like from it or simply discard it, how...	Heartbroken	2	818	Feb 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	Moving Forward (Preview) I Hi Friends, I've been in a funk the past few weeks, but think I finally cracked it a bit by looking at my divorce papers (a month later) and making a decision about and phoning an attorney. Time to move on. Things are shifting a bit, and I see God clearly at work. It's odd though, it doesn't bring me peac...	Loupiness	7	507	Feb 7, 2008 by ddub
	Separation Pain so great (Preview) Hullo fellow alanons. After refusing to play alcoholic games anymore and asking my AH to stay away, I am now in my 5th day of separation. The pain is setting in. The loss the sadness. Oh how I miss him He is distraught and shocked beyond belief that I actually mean it. I have taken the biggest risk of my life...	silverbrumby	10	753	Feb 7, 2008 by silverbrumby
	My ex called to apologize (Preview) Well, I have to say that I expected him to EVENTUALLY regret how he treated me Sunday and Monday night. I figured he would apologize and ask for forgiveness. I just didn't expect it this soon. He called me at lunch time today and said he was sorry for the things he said and he didn't mean any of it. He was h...	QOD	7	812	Feb 7, 2008 by Codependent
	Jail (Preview) Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...	Codependent	9	905	Feb 7, 2008 by Codependent
	Boundaries vs cutting people off (Preview) Not sure where I am with myself right now. I've been processing a lot of things that have gone on in the past couple of months and I think I'm beginning to get to the anger portion of my "stuff". As many of you know, my A broke off our long distance relationship following his slip at Thanksgivi...	round3	8	940	Feb 7, 2008 by round3
	It is worth the wait! (Preview) Hi everyone! I am struggling with a few things but basically my life is great! Jen is without power I think. She and I talk everyday sometimes late at night! One time I called her because I hit my head and couldn't reach my alcoholic! Anyway, Jen is so special to me. I don't know what I would do without h...	Hoot Nanny	0	471	Feb 7, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	MOMS IN ALANON (Preview) Hey Friends in Alanon! I need some input on my mom being at all the Alanon meetings I go to. I cannot feel free to share my issues when my mom is right there. Once a month I am able to go to a meeting outside our area 60 miles away and I don't drive! I am not sure what to do to share my ESH with someone except on this...	Hoot Nanny	5	713	Feb 7, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Relapsing... (Preview) Dear Family, I need to vent... I am not happy where I am today. Before I came to al-anon, I believed that I could never get myself out of my painful marriage. I believed that I could never make it (financially or otherwise) without him. I was in a deep depression, yet still not sure what was wrong....	glad lee	8	541	Feb 7, 2008 by glad lee
	The Power of Now. (Preview) This is Eckhart Tolle speaking of living in the NOW. He has a wonderful way of explaining that we are not the things we have been through. It is simply that, things we have lived through. He also explains what the NOW is. As usual I have to say this may be a bit out there for some... but then you don't h...	Christy	7	662	Feb 7, 2008 by Christy
	I think I'm in a rut (Preview) Lately, I have been feeling like my life has sunk into a rut. Same thing day in day out. 4 days a week I get up early and go to a job an hour away, 2 or 3 nights a week I go to another job. I spend every weekend working. That affects both my social life and my daughter's. Neither of us has one basically. Some...	carolinagirl	2	585	Feb 7, 2008 by maresie
	Letting go (Preview) As you all know I have reached a point where my stress was overwhelming. Things started to shift me for me. The house I live in has become more bearable because of the exit of two people. I left the job that was causing me tremendous stress. I will get unemployment for a while which gives me some time to r...	maresie	5	398	Feb 7, 2008 by maresie
	Oh where, oh where has my serenity gone? (Preview) I'm warning you now-- I'm on a rant. SA/AH is "sick" in bed, I'm at home, kids have snow day from school. We are buried in a big winter storm. I've shoveled twice, ran 3 miles on my treadmill. spending some time here answering others posts. I can't stop obsessing about H using again! He h...	gknee	3	632	Feb 7, 2008 by QOD
	Prayers needed ASAp (Preview) We just got back from a 6 day holiday and my sister called and asked me to call her back. She told me that my brother Jack (52) has been sick and they found a golf size mass in his kidney--apparently with the tests so far they think it is cancer. His wife died 17 years ago at age 24 of bone cancer. We have had 5 ma...	meagain	13	567	Feb 6, 2008 by cookie1971
	update (Preview) i went to his work at lunch time and told him about my daughter and that i want to go to ny in case something happens to the baby,he in return tells me to wait until she is born then go up,i told him i want to be up there in case it does happen that she doesnt make it,his words{WAIT TO SEE AFTER MY DAUGHTER HAS THE B...	bev	5	553	Feb 6, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Sober AH ...his response to my detachment...what to say (Preview) Hi I have been very detached from AH since last Saturday, mainly because I am just trying to protect myself from his emotional abuse, which he denies. Because of the total lack of emotional intimacy, emotional abuse, his violent anger, etc I have not wanted any pyhsical contact, I talk very little exc...	verenda	8	682	Feb 6, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	When sick people make amends (Preview) I hope I can be really really clear about this, speak from where I'm at, and share my experience/strength/hope only. I'm also hoping that by sharing, I'm not going to open myself up to mean commentaries, and instead be able to share with all of you how things are, god knows how slowly, getting better....	Tiger2006	5	692	Feb 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Ex came over last night - not pretty! (Preview) My ex came over last night to "collect" things he has given me over the years. He took the digital camera he gave me a year ago for Xmas, the laptop computer he gave me AND the kids last spring, 3 diamond rings, my wedding band and my .38 Special he gave me 12 years ago when we moved into our very 1s...	QOD	12	771	Feb 6, 2008 by Becky1
	Stopping Victimization (Preview) Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us. We need to let go, on a de...	Tenderheartsks	1	461	Feb 6, 2008 by maresie
	pacing myself (Preview) Every bit of me wants to be out there in a panic looking for work but my health is at a standstill and I am going to have to take some time to regroup. I am absolutely tired to the bone and do not know how to get beyond the fatigue state I am in. I also feel incredibly alone. I am trying to rest and eat right and reg...	maresie	0	373	Feb 6, 2008 by maresie
	new chapter (Preview) I signed up for unemployment today. That will be enough to pay my bills. I am going to try to put some time into going to meetings which I can't do when I am working all the hours there are. I am also going to put some time into trying to get my space ok. I am really really tired to the bone so I am also going to...	maresie	3	560	Feb 6, 2008 by maresie
	Reminder to myself..... (Preview) Over this past weekend there was an incident that I had to face. Although things have been so different with my A, he is in a controlled drinking state. Has been for the last year. He crossed the line and was extremely intoxicated at home while we had company. He hasn't done cocaine in about a year whi...	marmare	3	431	Feb 6, 2008 by tma0413
	Help me understand this... (Preview) Making a long story short... My best friend and I spent a lot of time together in the 80's having a great time partying. We were both in our 20's at that time. He was always the life of the party, but as time went by I started to notice changes in him. He went from being the life of the party to becoming mean whe...	dekare	8	991	Feb 6, 2008 by Denoraphy
	the lull before the storm? (Preview) Tomorrow is day 3 after my AH tried the abandonment game and I didn't play. I let him walk. And then wouldn't let him come back. It's very quiet today with no contact after his pleading yesterday, now he's trying the "silence, she'll think I've suicided and panic after a few days"... As this...	silverbrumby	5	621	Feb 6, 2008 by Kerbear
	HP has hilarious humor! (Preview) I went to the store during lunch today. I was in the shampoo aisle looking for conditioner. There was a couple to my right looking for shampoo and conditioner also. The wife said she was going to buy Suave conditioner. My big mouth opened and I proceeded to tell her that, that conditioner has a tendency t...	kissers	11	759	Feb 5, 2008 by Maria123
	one door opens another close s (Preview) My assignment has come to an end. I am looking for another job in earnest. Please pray I get something soon. I need health benefits, a nice environment, no more crazy bosses and an easy commute. I need a life that isn't so hard! Maresie.	maresie	5	571	Feb 5, 2008 by maresie
	In Need of Advice --How Best Can I Help My A Sister? (Preview) Hello. Tonight, I am worried sick about my older sister, who is an A that was in recovery. She has been fighting a long and hard battle with her addiction to alcohol and drugs and was doing very well for some time. I believe she was sober for about 5 months prior to her first relapse. Since Christmas, she...	wpb70	5	616	Feb 5, 2008 by wpb70
	It's a miracle, HE left!! (Preview) I am a grateful member of Alanon. Without the understanding and support from this program and its members I would be back on the merry-go-round again. Thanks for the lovely replies guys... I'm never alone in what I experience. During that latest episode --3 weeks of withdrawal, avoidance and drunke...	silverbrumby	6	1140	Feb 5, 2008 by canadianguy
	Trying to look at pain from a different perspective... (Preview) ...the pain I am experiencing in my recovery journey needs to be looked at in much the same way as post surgical pain. One has surgery and there is pain afterwards, but one knows that that pain will stop as healing takes place. Okay, so that is what I have to do now, instead of fighting against the pain of...	Heartbroken	8	935	Feb 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Next Step? (Preview) Hello - I posted a couple of days ago about my brother, who is currently in a brief addiction/behavior program as a result of a second DUI and his threat to harm himself. I talked to him last night and he's remorseful and said he never plans to drink again (yeah, yeah, I know...), wants to stop hanging arou...	blb	5	474	Feb 5, 2008 by abbyal
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