Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

JukuVee · JukuVee

my significant other who I will refer to here as Steve has been an alcoholic for our entire relationship. We just had our 22 year anniversary of being together. We are not married but we might as well be. I have finally reached the end of my rope. The Saturday before last he had a major meltdown and was sc...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Can you really have a real relationship with someone who abuses alcohol daily? Is it even possible? Alcohol interferes immensely with emotional and spiritual growth, right? How can you build a real relationship with some who drinks? If you are in that relationship how do you remain sane?

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AD said that she wanted to visit with me on Mother's Day, but then also told her sister that she was going to bring some paperwork for me to sign. As some background to this, my AD has been living in the home that my AH owned and was living in when he suddenly passed over two years ago. Since that time, no mor...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

I feel like I may have started Al Anon too late, as I just want out of my 15 year relationship (10 year marriage). My AH has slowed down so much on his drinking and he's so proud of his progress and even though he still drinks he almost never becomes drunk. He hasn't been physically violent with me in over...

serenity47 · serenity47

20 year old AD living here at the moment. Repeated lost jobs due to alcohol abuse and whatever else? My dilemma is this. We have cut off all money, have sold some things in storage to recoup money lent that was never repaid. Have drove her around repeatedly job hunting etc when she has no gas. We live i...

sookie · sookie

I choked on my tears at the meeting last night. We were talking about choices. This whole week I have been second guessing my choice to get divorced because the finality is hitting me. It is now official. He will not speak to me or communicate at all (which I guess may have its good aspects). I still have to...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery. It points out that this recovery is a discipline that requires diligence,patience and consistency in order to obtain results. The reading also indicates that regular attendance at Al-Anon meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 13 speaks about how we feel ,when we first come to Al-Anon looking for support and relief from the pain of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we are being torn down by the drinkers guilt and self reproach and this has left us feeling invisible and with no se...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

So I haven't had anything to drink at all since my husband went to 12 week outpatient. He has...one or two here and there and then three major "slips" (his word, not mine). I'm just wondering--do any of you drink? Sometimes I feel like having a glass of wine with friends or with dinner but I don...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Until recently, I had really been doing well at practicing loving detachment. I was focusing on me. Got back to healthy eating, some exercise, and going to meetings. I figured out a convenient way for someone else to watch my infant son when I have to work late so I'm not worried about leaving him alo...

mjferg · mjferg

I told my therapist yesterday, living with an alcoholic is like going through a hurricane,everything gets torn down and you have to rebuild.Starting with yourself and then other areas in your life,it takes time and it isn't easy. Well I am still here.I have been busy with school,it's midterms aga...

zebrafish · zebrafish

We have drug dealers here, and burglarizing. The drug dealers have been trying to pressure us out for about 2 years now, by partying right outside our apartment. The mental distress of that is a lot. I tried crimestoppers, I tried just calling the police, none of it got me anywhere. So I tried starti...

Rosepetal · Rosepetal

Hi everyone - I am new here. Been separated from my alcoholic husband for 6 months now (this is the second time we've separated). He has been drinking for 4 months now. He is blaming me for it. Right after we separated the 2nd time, I was feeling very lonely and depressed and he was being lovely. I was reall...

Irish7 · Irish7

ive only been in al anon for 6 months, but i think at least a year before that I realized I could not assert control over my AH and a step kids drinking. I was desperate to control something and so focused on eating and fitness-- areas where I've often lacked self control. I've become quite militant in this...

Hillyard · Hillyard

How do you all deal with verbal abuse? My wife has been verbally abusive for as long as we've been married (almost 19 years) and it seemed to progress with the alcohol use. Sometimes when I bring it up she doesn't even know she's doing it. It even happens when she's sober. Example - she wakes up and finds ou...

worried Mom · worried Mom

Still pretty new at Alanon, 3rd f2f meeting today..... so I'm wondering this..... when I I don't hear from my A daughter it usually means she's drinking. Drinking for her means drink until you black out. I can't decide whether to call and check on her. Don't call - I worry; do call - get upset if she's drin...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I'm just wondering if this kind of thinking is damaging or fair. Everytime an "episode" happens, I think "okay, this time he really gets how bad this is" or "this time, now that he knows the kids noticed, he will change" or "since he slept with her and that is dev...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I understand when people make this statement and similar claims of how awesome their partner is followed by...."when he's sober." To me, I almost think this is a thinking trap that leads us to further disappointment. I know from when I was an active alcoholic and when engaged in a long te...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading is a focus on Traditions One and Two. Tradition one being that the welfare of the group comes first, that personal progress depends upon unity, and two that the one authority is a loving God as expressed through a group conscience. I have not studied and worked on the traditions as I ha...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Lately, I've been feeling kind of low. Lots of memories keep breaking in my mind, good and bad, and I'm having a hard time controlling them. I feel like I need to make big decisions but not sure about it.

sookie · sookie

Struggling lately. I am now divorced. The paperwork arrived in the mail a few weeks ago. It has been a long time coming. My ex-AH moved out over 4 years ago and I held on to hope for most of it that we would figure it out and make it work. But it just kept churning and cycling and I couldn't do it anymore. Now tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ugh. Just when you think you've become perfect, lol! I was talking to my grandmother on the phone and I mentioned that I have received really good grades so far for my classes this semester and I'm pleased. Now a few weeks ago she asked me how school was going and I told her it was demanding but good and she s...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms. Remember the precious times I know the following is very true for all of us.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The stress is on so please send positive prayers, thoughts and or vibes my way this week please. Mother's Day was nothing special I did homework and studied and my girls made me very nice cards. Just another day and I was on my pity pot about it for a little while, but worked my program and realized until I a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 11 is a reminder of the way I once thought , felt, and reacted. It discusses the overwhelming feeling of determination --that I am responsible and can and must do something about everything. The reading points out that this attitude will do nothing constructive for me...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Had to laugh this afternoon. I have been feeling kind of rotten about this place we live in; it is pretty run down and the neighbourhood is pretty dodgy and daughter really hates it. I've managed to get the living room and bedrooms looking really good but the kitchen, bathroom, rear yard etc are pretty a...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so this past couple weeks .. I have gotten over a hundred calls from my ex addict .. I did not answer them for the simple reason nothing has changed .. I can see the familiar behaviors and patterns .. there are many .. I can see the manipulation of the calls .. the every effort to get me to answer .. recognizi...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well I can say that I had a fantastic Mother's Day, did not have to lift a finger to do anything yesterday. It was wonderful. Although there was an over shadowing of a sad feeling. My son, actually step-son although we don't use those terms in our family, had texted me Saturday night to tell me that he wasn...

Flower49 · Flower49

Today is a bummer day for me. I can't stop being weepy....hate it. My AH told me his PO will once again be coming to my home next Tuesday. It makes me so mad that I have to endure his criminal punishments to the point that I actually am feeling regretful for calling the police on him when he had his drug dealer...

runningwife · runningwife

I have reached my limit, but chickened out. This past week has really sucked. I went on a girl's trip with some friends. When I returned I found out my AH had gotten drunk at my son's game. So much that, luckily, the coach recognized it and drove my family home. My first mistake was arguing with my AH. The...

Jen61 · Jen61

I came to this site 2 years 3 months ago. I felt so desperate so I poured my heart out. I find it interesting to go back and re-read my posts. I feel that I have grown in many ways, but wow I have a long way to go to become the person I want to be. I want to thank all of you for commenting on my posts and helping me...

Fearngully · Fearngully

I am interested to hear what others have done when Face to Face meetings are not available. I have no meetings close enough to attend more than once every two months or so. The closest meetings to me are about a three hour drive one way and with two small children (one with a disability) that does not see...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I remember the tension - having to smile and pretend I was enjoying whatever was being thrown at me because I didn't want to ruin the special day. "It's Mother's Day, I did "this" for you, why aren't you happy? Its a "special day" I can act any outrageously way I want and you ca...

Kodydog · Kodydog

My son is 28 years old. He started drinking heavily in college. He moved home with us in his last year of law school. I was so sad when I realized he was an alcoholic. He managed to finish law school in spite of his addition. He started getting really sick and was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis which...

Denise505 · Denise505

Complicated and sad history with my mom. I was born in NY but raised by grandma iu French Canada until 6. When I went to live with my mom she didn't speak French. I have an accent and so no one figured she was my mom, and I look like my dad's side. Mom was an alcoholic. Dad is still alive and a gambler and nut...

Mama D · Mama D

My daughter is in treatment now on her own. She does not want to drink. Her drinking is a result of 8 years of mental & emotional abuse from her husband. Her drinking only became a problem about 3 months ago when she had to start taking medication for severe panic and anxiety attacks. So even thou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I know that mother's day and father's day can be very bitter sweet for many people for a multitude of complex reasons. I know for me I have a lot of strong mixed emotions about it. My sponsor and I have talked about this a great deal because when I came into Alanon 4 years ago I think almost 5 now that I think...

missmeliss · missmeliss

We had a very chilled out Mother's Day. Daughter kept things quiet this morning so I could sleep in, which was bliss after staying up late to meet a deadline. When I woke she had cleaned the lounge and taken out the rubbish as well as beautifying her room and putting away the washing. She'd bought me a gift...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...

barbarella · barbarella

Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...

Fearngully · Fearngully

My husband quit drinking and joined AA a few days ago. It is a great relief to not have him drunk every night. But a new unsettling fear has settled over me. Nothing between us has changed for me. I am glad he is trying another way but it will take time for me. He sees that as me not letting him take it day by d...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm doing a little venting and contemplating at the moment so just trying to get it out here .. LOL .. sponsor is on vacation and she deserves not to listen to me whine. My XAH did not take the kids this weekend at all .. the ironic part is this .. he already set them up not to even ask last visitation and I have...

Debb · Debb

I discovered this morning that AH did not pay the April heating oil budget plan bill. So I told him he should have discussed his reasons for not paying it, because we got a bill this month that shows we are in arrears. I went and paid the $250 so that when the oil company tops off our tank for the summer that...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Hello everyone, it is so good to be here. Even though I am a newbie I have already read so many posts that I relate to. My wife, who is an alcoholic, just asked me for a divorce after 6 years. I came home from a trip and in a very robotic way she said, "I want out. I'm done. I need to be wild and free. I'...

worried Mom · worried Mom

New here, new to Al-Anon (2nd F2F meeting today) but......yesterday after my first meeting I was feeling lost and confused (glad I went but still lost). ANYWAY

I'm an avid yardsaler...stopped at one and guess what I got for $1.....tada...a 14 X 16 picture of Jesus holding the lost lamb. Every time...

worried Mom · worried Mom

Are the 12 steps for Al-Anon that exact same ones that AA uses?

emerald eyes · emerald eyes

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum. I'm feeling totally lost today, nothing seems to be lifting my mood. I've read over my literature and prayed but still I feel like I'm in zombie mode. AH in recovery four weeks. Anyone any hints on how to lift mood?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 9 focuses on the fact that by living with the disease of alcoholism we suffer the loss of self-worth and self-esteem. It points out that were not comfortable with compliments or kind words. In order to be able to recover it was suggested that we make asset and gratitude lists each...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I was just reading that we are as sick as our secrets. I thought I would make a list of some as an experiment, as a purge, and maybe other people will relate to some of them. Here are the ones I remember right now, off the top of my head. When I got together with my A, I had a suspicion about three weeks in that...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/

a4l · a4l

Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...

PhilB · PhilB

There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...

worried Mom · worried Mom

I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.

worried Mom · worried Mom

Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...

glad · glad

I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that "freedom "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.

Hillyard · Hillyard

Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New here new to Al-Anon, stuck between a rock and a hard place (Preview) my significant other who I will refer to here as Steve has been an alcoholic for our entire relationship. We just had our 22 year anniversary of being together. We are not married but we might as well be. I have finally reached the end of my rope. The Saturday before last he had a major meltdown and was sc...	JukuVee	5	554	May 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Real Relationship Even Possible? (Preview) Can you really have a real relationship with someone who abuses alcohol daily? Is it even possible? Alcohol interferes immensely with emotional and spiritual growth, right? How can you build a real relationship with some who drinks? If you are in that relationship how do you remain sane?	Hillyard	11	615	May 14, 2015 by maryjane
	Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, Don't Say it Mean (Preview) My AD said that she wanted to visit with me on Mother's Day, but then also told her sister that she was going to bring some paperwork for me to sign. As some background to this, my AD has been living in the home that my AH owned and was living in when he suddenly passed over two years ago. Since that time, no mor...	Green Eyes	2	650	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Just. Want. Out. (Preview) I feel like I may have started Al Anon too late, as I just want out of my 15 year relationship (10 year marriage). My AH has slowed down so much on his drinking and he's so proud of his progress and even though he still drinks he almost never becomes drunk. He hasn't been physically violent with me in over...	PennyJenny010115	12	609	May 14, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Feel stuck! (Preview) 20 year old AD living here at the moment. Repeated lost jobs due to alcohol abuse and whatever else? My dilemma is this. We have cut off all money, have sold some things in storage to recoup money lent that was never repaid. Have drove her around repeatedly job hunting etc when she has no gas. We live i...	serenity47	1	514	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Looking back at your choices (Preview) I choked on my tears at the meeting last night. We were talking about choices. This whole week I have been second guessing my choice to get divorced because the finality is hitting me. It is now official. He will not speak to me or communicate at all (which I guess may have its good aspects). I still have to...	sookie	3	538	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C Reading 5 -14 (Preview) C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery. It points out that this recovery is a discipline that requires diligence,patience and consistency in order to obtain results. The reading also indicates that regular attendance at Al-Anon meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon...	hotrod	1	355	May 14, 2015 by serenity47
	ODAT Reading 5-13 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 13 speaks about how we feel ,when we first come to Al-Anon looking for support and relief from the pain of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we are being torn down by the drinkers guilt and self reproach and this has left us feeling invisible and with no se...	hotrod	2	622	May 13, 2015 by Debb
	Do you drink? (Preview) So I haven't had anything to drink at all since my husband went to 12 week outpatient. He has...one or two here and there and then three major "slips" (his word, not mine). I'm just wondering--do any of you drink? Sometimes I feel like having a glass of wine with friends or with dinner but I don...	butterfly88	15	812	May 13, 2015 by Bethany66
	Trying to stay positive (Preview) Until recently, I had really been doing well at practicing loving detachment. I was focusing on me. Got back to healthy eating, some exercise, and going to meetings. I figured out a convenient way for someone else to watch my infant son when I have to work late so I'm not worried about leaving him alo...	Smiley99	8	503	May 13, 2015 by Gah2010
	After The hurricane (Preview) I told my therapist yesterday, living with an alcoholic is like going through a hurricane,everything gets torn down and you have to rebuild.Starting with yourself and then other areas in your life,it takes time and it isn't easy. Well I am still here.I have been busy with school,it's midterms aga...	mjferg	12	546	May 13, 2015 by Debb
	should I just move? (Preview) We have drug dealers here, and burglarizing. The drug dealers have been trying to pressure us out for about 2 years now, by partying right outside our apartment. The mental distress of that is a lot. I tried crimestoppers, I tried just calling the police, none of it got me anywhere. So I tried starti...	zebrafish	5	677	May 12, 2015 by zebrafish
	Another blame question (Preview) Hi everyone - I am new here. Been separated from my alcoholic husband for 6 months now (this is the second time we've separated). He has been drinking for 4 months now. He is blaming me for it. Right after we separated the 2nd time, I was feeling very lonely and depressed and he was being lovely. I was reall...	Rosepetal	6	478	May 12, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Do you assert control in other areas? (Preview) ive only been in al anon for 6 months, but i think at least a year before that I realized I could not assert control over my AH and a step kids drinking. I was desperate to control something and so focused on eating and fitness-- areas where I've often lacked self control. I've become quite militant in this...	Irish7	6	635	May 12, 2015 by Irish7
	Verbal abuse (Preview) How do you all deal with verbal abuse? My wife has been verbally abusive for as long as we've been married (almost 19 years) and it seemed to progress with the alcohol use. Sometimes when I bring it up she doesn't even know she's doing it. It even happens when she's sober. Example - she wakes up and finds ou...	Hillyard	26	1224	May 12, 2015 by ntd2001
	Another ?..... (Preview) Still pretty new at Alanon, 3rd f2f meeting today..... so I'm wondering this..... when I I don't hear from my A daughter it usually means she's drinking. Drinking for her means drink until you black out. I can't decide whether to call and check on her. Don't call - I worry; do call - get upset if she's drin...	worried Mom	4	395	May 12, 2015 by worried Mom
	When will I stop thinking "THIS TIME" he really gets it... (Preview) I'm just wondering if this kind of thinking is damaging or fair. Everytime an "episode" happens, I think "okay, this time he really gets how bad this is" or "this time, now that he knows the kids noticed, he will change" or "since he slept with her and that is dev...	butterfly88	13	624	May 12, 2015 by milkwood
	But he's so great when he's sober... (Preview) I understand when people make this statement and similar claims of how awesome their partner is followed by...."when he's sober." To me, I almost think this is a thinking trap that leads us to further disappointment. I know from when I was an active alcoholic and when engaged in a long te...	pinkchip	19	878	May 12, 2015 by sookie
	Hope for Today May 12 (Preview) Today's reading is a focus on Traditions One and Two. Tradition one being that the welfare of the group comes first, that personal progress depends upon unity, and two that the one authority is a loving God as expressed through a group conscience. I have not studied and worked on the traditions as I ha...	yanksfan51	4	456	May 12, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Bad thinking (Preview) Lately, I've been feeling kind of low. Lots of memories keep breaking in my mind, good and bad, and I'm having a hard time controlling them. I feel like I need to make big decisions but not sure about it.	Hillyard	15	578	May 12, 2015 by sookie
	The "poor me" feeling (Preview) Struggling lately. I am now divorced. The paperwork arrived in the mail a few weeks ago. It has been a long time coming. My ex-AH moved out over 4 years ago and I held on to hope for most of it that we would figure it out and make it work. But it just kept churning and cycling and I couldn't do it anymore. Now tha...	sookie	11	908	May 11, 2015 by glad
	And here I was thinking I was perfectly detached. (Preview) Ugh. Just when you think you've become perfect, lol! I was talking to my grandmother on the phone and I mentioned that I have received really good grades so far for my classes this semester and I'm pleased. Now a few weeks ago she asked me how school was going and I told her it was demanding but good and she s...	missmeliss	14	763	May 11, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms (Preview) Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms. Remember the precious times I know the following is very true for all of us.	hotrod	8	581	May 11, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Finals week while in clinicals..... and about Mother's Day (Preview) The stress is on so please send positive prayers, thoughts and or vibes my way this week please. Mother's Day was nothing special I did homework and studied and my girls made me very nice cards. Just another day and I was on my pity pot about it for a little while, but worked my program and realized until I a...	Breakingfree	7	490	May 11, 2015 by Irish7
	ODAT 5-11 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 11 is a reminder of the way I once thought , felt, and reacted. It discusses the overwhelming feeling of *determination --that I am responsible and can and must do something about everything.* The reading points out that this attitude will do nothing constructive for me...	hotrod	1	421	May 11, 2015 by Debb
	Mysterious Ways lol (Preview) Had to laugh this afternoon. I have been feeling kind of rotten about this place we live in; it is pretty run down and the neighbourhood is pretty dodgy and daughter really hates it. I've managed to get the living room and bedrooms looking really good but the kitchen, bathroom, rear yard etc are pretty a...	missmeliss	22	877	May 11, 2015 by Sweet Stanley
	fear (Preview) so this past couple weeks .. I have gotten over a hundred calls from my ex addict .. I did not answer them for the simple reason nothing has changed .. I can see the familiar behaviors and patterns .. there are many .. I can see the manipulation of the calls .. the every effort to get me to answer .. recognizi...	MeTwo2	5	473	May 11, 2015 by MeTwo2
	Where o where was my youngest son yesterday? Not with me... (Preview) Well I can say that I had a fantastic Mother's Day, did not have to lift a finger to do anything yesterday. It was wonderful. Although there was an over shadowing of a sad feeling. My son, actually step-son although we don't use those terms in our family, had texted me Saturday night to tell me that he wasn...	wildthang86	1	450	May 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Regrets (Preview) Today is a bummer day for me. I can't stop being weepy....hate it. My AH told me his PO will once again be coming to my home next Tuesday. It makes me so mad that I have to endure his criminal punishments to the point that I actually am feeling regretful for calling the police on him when he had his drug dealer...	Flower49	7	779	May 11, 2015 by Flower49
	I think I'm enabling (Preview) I have reached my limit, but chickened out. This past week has really sucked. I went on a girl's trip with some friends. When I returned I found out my AH had gotten drunk at my son's game. So much that, luckily, the coach recognized it and drove my family home. My first mistake was arguing with my AH. The...	runningwife	4	373	May 11, 2015 by sookie
	Two years, 3 months.. (Preview) I came to this site 2 years 3 months ago. I felt so desperate so I poured my heart out. I find it interesting to go back and re-read my posts. I feel that I have grown in many ways, but wow I have a long way to go to become the person I want to be. I want to thank all of you for commenting on my posts and helping me...	Jen61	3	413	May 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Face to Face meetings (Preview) I am interested to hear what others have done when Face to Face meetings are not available. I have no meetings close enough to attend more than once every two months or so. The closest meetings to me are about a three hour drive one way and with two small children (one with a disability) that does not see...	Fearngully	3	529	May 11, 2015 by milkwood
	Special days MY way! (Preview) I remember the tension - having to smile and pretend I was enjoying whatever was being thrown at me because I didn't want to ruin the special day. "It's Mother's Day, I did "this" for you, why aren't you happy? Its a "special day" I can act any outrageously way I want and you ca...	likemyheart	5	480	May 11, 2015 by milkwood
	My son Sad and scared (Preview) My son is 28 years old. He started drinking heavily in college. He moved home with us in his last year of law school. I was so sad when I realized he was an alcoholic. He managed to finish law school in spite of his addition. He started getting really sick and was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis which...	Kodydog	9	591	May 10, 2015 by Jen61
	Mothers Day Blues (Preview) Complicated and sad history with my mom. I was born in NY but raised by grandma iu French Canada until 6. When I went to live with my mom she didn't speak French. I have an accent and so no one figured she was my mom, and I look like my dad's side. Mom was an alcoholic. Dad is still alive and a gambler and nut...	Denise505	4	462	May 10, 2015 by LinSC
	Daughter Getting Sober Her Husband Not (Preview) My daughter is in treatment now on her own. She does not want to drink. Her drinking is a result of 8 years of mental & emotional abuse from her husband. Her drinking only became a problem about 3 months ago when she had to start taking medication for severe panic and anxiety attacks. So even thou...	Mama D	6	654	May 10, 2015 by Mama D
	Parents .. (Preview) I know that mother's day and father's day can be very bitter sweet for many people for a multitude of complex reasons. I know for me I have a lot of strong mixed emotions about it. My sponsor and I have talked about this a great deal because when I came into Alanon 4 years ago I think almost 5 now that I think...	SerenityRUS	4	492	May 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Grateful today. (Preview) We had a very chilled out Mother's Day. Daughter kept things quiet this morning so I could sleep in, which was bliss after staying up late to meet a deadline. When I woke she had cleaned the lounge and taken out the rubbish as well as beautifying her room and putting away the washing. She'd bought me a gift...	missmeliss	2	349	May 10, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 5-10 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...	hotrod	2	447	May 10, 2015 by maryjane
	(trigger warning) heartbreak with codependent mom (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...	barbarella	7	2339	May 10, 2015 by barbarella
	Fear (Preview) My husband quit drinking and joined AA a few days ago. It is a great relief to not have him drunk every night. But a new unsettling fear has settled over me. Nothing between us has changed for me. I am glad he is trying another way but it will take time for me. He sees that as me not letting him take it day by d...	Fearngully	4	453	May 10, 2015 by maryjane
	Fun Weekend :) (Preview) I'm doing a little venting and contemplating at the moment so just trying to get it out here .. LOL .. sponsor is on vacation and she deserves not to listen to me whine. My XAH did not take the kids this weekend at all .. the ironic part is this .. he already set them up not to even ask last visitation and I have...	SerenityRUS	0	394	May 10, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Just need to bounce this off you all (Preview) I discovered this morning that AH did not pay the April heating oil budget plan bill. So I told him he should have discussed his reasons for not paying it, because we got a bill this month that shows we are in arrears. I went and paid the $250 so that when the oil company tops off our tank for the summer that...	Debb	11	1040	May 10, 2015 by Debb
	Complications or just plain alcoholic mean-ness? (Preview) Hello everyone, it is so good to be here. Even though I am a newbie I have already read so many posts that I relate to. My wife, who is an alcoholic, just asked me for a divorce after 6 years. I came home from a trip and in a very robotic way she said, "I want out. I'm done. I need to be wild and free. I'...	SpookyMulder	8	684	May 10, 2015 by el-cee
	Speaking of mysterious ways..... (Preview) New here, new to Al-Anon (2nd F2F meeting today) but......yesterday after my first meeting I was feeling lost and confused (glad I went but still lost). ANYWAY I'm an avid yardsaler...stopped at one and guess what I got for $1.....tada...a 14 X 16 picture of Jesus holding the lost lamb. Every time...	worried Mom	2	319	May 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	oh boy.....another ? (Preview) Are the 12 steps for Al-Anon that exact same ones that AA uses?	worried Mom	4	349	May 9, 2015 by worried Mom
	feeling lost (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum. I'm feeling totally lost today, nothing seems to be lifting my mood. I've read over my literature and prayed but still I feel like I'm in zombie mode. AH in recovery four weeks. Anyone any hints on how to lift mood?	emerald eyes	8	563	May 9, 2015 by worried Mom
	C2C 5-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 9 focuses on the fact that by living with the disease of alcoholism we suffer the loss of self-worth and self-esteem. It points out that were not comfortable with compliments or kind words. In order to be able to recover it was suggested that we make asset and gratitude lists each...	hotrod	1	328	May 9, 2015 by Debb
	My Sick Secrets... (Preview) I was just reading that we are as sick as our secrets. I thought I would make a list of some as an experiment, as a purge, and maybe other people will relate to some of them. Here are the ones I remember right now, off the top of my head. When I got together with my A, I had a suspicion about three weeks in that...	SpookyMulder	4	646	May 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	Tradition 8 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/	hotrod	2	526	May 9, 2015 by hotrod
	the last strand of gum. (Preview) Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...	a4l	7	722	May 9, 2015 by el-cee
	Today I told my 7 year old that her daddy wouldn't be living with us anymore. (Preview) My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...	Helpangel	9	588	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Powerlessness is not the problem powerlessness weakness step 1 (Preview) There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...	PhilB	2	726	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	The weekend (Preview) I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...	butterfly88	3	471	May 8, 2015 by a4l
	1st time here....don't understand 12 step (Al-Anon (Preview) I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.	worried Mom	7	538	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Am I to blame??? (Preview) Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...	worried Mom	5	717	May 8, 2015 by Mike B
	control, God's Grace and Mercy (Preview) I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...	glad	1	570	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 5-8 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that *"freedom* "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...	hotrod	0	228	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	missing my son (Preview) Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.	hotrod	31	961	May 7, 2015 by Truth
	Some Improvement (Preview) Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...	Hillyard	5	285	May 7, 2015 by Hillyard
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.