Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 17 makes a very important point. It suggests that when we are sick we go to the doctor and take the medicine that is prescribed . That when we are soul sick and heartsick we need medicine just as much or even more. That living with the disease of alcoholism and with our own neurot...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Hi. I know this subject has been written about before -- the posts I have read are more of a general nature. I introduced myself a little while back, too, so some of this people may have already read. I am seeking comments. Ok. So I know I am an enabler and have engaged in denial and poor boundaries and...

Living508 · Living508

My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling. Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic...

needguidance · needguidance

A little about me, no kids, married, i came from a different country, i had to learn English on my own to survive, i paid my college tuition on my own - no loans always saving money and not living in debt - it was very difficult but i overcome that obstacle. i come from a middle class background but when i ca...

Living508 · Living508

2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all- not posted for a while but quietly working my steps & I feel well. My AH has been dry for 4 months after a drinking binge that put his life at risk. Gave him the wake up call he needed & he went to AA a few times. In those months he's looked after himself well. Obsessively exercising & diet...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

so ah got a new car and already blew off the inportant day of going to get the puff device and his resticted liscense so now he is rolling the dice by drinking today. so i took his keys so he wont kill anyone at least for 2 days in his car. he is such a lost cause.. now he says he is suffering from incontinece of hi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 15 is a powerful reminder to keep the focus on ourselves and stop trying to figure out why somebody says what they say or do. The reading stresses importance of not jumping to conclusions about another person's motives, our actions as we cannot read people's minds. Even when...

Debb · Debb

I find that with each heated episode from AH, which are fewer and fewer as time goes on, that the results I am encountering seem to enlighten both me and AH. For me the enlightenment centers around more understanding and empathy for the disease and with that comes less resentment, not acceptance mind...

jk17 · jk17

Hi all, I'm recently divorced after less than three years with an alcoholic wife. I'm curious to know more about what alcoholism, or addiction in general, commonly does to sexual desire for the sober spouse in the marriage. I've heard "addiction kills love" a number of times and I can ce...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today reminds us that in Al-Anon we come together as a" fellowship of equals" where no one is in charge and no one is an expert. Because the help we exchange is nonprofessional and has a specific goal, Al-Anon does not solve every problem. It is a remarkable effective ap...

Todzilla · Todzilla

Hi, long time co-dependent, first time caller. im on my second marriage to an alcoholic and SHOCKER, this ain't going too well. I have never had impulses to cover up for alcoholics, or manage their lives, per se, but I do have a huge problem shouldering far more than my share in the marriage and expectin...

PlainJane · PlainJane

I was brought up in a family with a history of alcoholics, although I never actually saw any of it. But I got the very strong message that alcohol was dangerous and bad, that it ruined lives, and that it drinking to excess was NEVER tolerated. As a result I have never drank alcohol my entire life and am un...

QOD · QOD

So here I am again. Full circle. History - Married my high school sweetheart at 18 when I got pregnant. That was back in 1992. 15 years of marriage. Divorced because of my husband's drug and alcohol abuse. His drug of choice back then: Cocaine/Crack. We were separated for one year and divorced fo...

MOF77 · MOF77

I read so many things things and get myself prepared for the next time this guy comes home drunk, but it never goes as planned and I don't know why. It should, because he always says and does the same things. Always. The only thing that changes is my strategy. I plan for this, like, 'Next time I'll lock hi...

Blonde80 · Blonde80

Hi, I'm very new to Alanon. Just went to my second meeting last night. I'm a 34 year old woman who fell deeply in love with the most wonderful man two years ago. We were best friends first and then ended up falling in love and he moved into my home. He's younger than me but at 27 had been on his own since he was a y...

Luiza · Luiza

I am feeling very deflated at the moment. Worthless and useless too. Basically tomorrow is a pretty important and stressful day at work. Due the outstanding reputation of the school where I work with some principal and deputy principal from other school are coming to my school to visit/spend the day...

lisal · lisal

My husband of 33 years is in ICU for the past 2 weeks- perforated bowel ( duodenal ulcer from alcohol) that opened twice, tracheotomy tomorrow, liver and kidney function damaged from alcohol. If he does pull through they said a rehab then nursing home placement. He is only 60 years old. And myself and o...

andromeda · andromeda

Hello everyone, can you please keep me in your thoughts and send positive vibes for me to trust God's will and what my next step will be regarding my job situation. I had a job interview yesterday which went really well and they want to hire me but the pay is low and the drive is far. I have been homeschool...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I had to see how long it's been since I've been 'here' and I am certainly surprised that it's been 5+ years. At the time, my DS and AH were my 'qualifiers' and I am happy to report my DS will be celebrating 5 years clean in July. While he's in a much better place, our relationship is strained at best. I am a do...

JukuVee · JukuVee

my significant other who I will refer to here as Steve has been an alcoholic for our entire relationship. We just had our 22 year anniversary of being together. We are not married but we might as well be. I have finally reached the end of my rope. The Saturday before last he had a major meltdown and was sc...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Can you really have a real relationship with someone who abuses alcohol daily? Is it even possible? Alcohol interferes immensely with emotional and spiritual growth, right? How can you build a real relationship with some who drinks? If you are in that relationship how do you remain sane?

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AD said that she wanted to visit with me on Mother's Day, but then also told her sister that she was going to bring some paperwork for me to sign. As some background to this, my AD has been living in the home that my AH owned and was living in when he suddenly passed over two years ago. Since that time, no mor...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

I feel like I may have started Al Anon too late, as I just want out of my 15 year relationship (10 year marriage). My AH has slowed down so much on his drinking and he's so proud of his progress and even though he still drinks he almost never becomes drunk. He hasn't been physically violent with me in over...

serenity47 · serenity47

20 year old AD living here at the moment. Repeated lost jobs due to alcohol abuse and whatever else? My dilemma is this. We have cut off all money, have sold some things in storage to recoup money lent that was never repaid. Have drove her around repeatedly job hunting etc when she has no gas. We live i...

sookie · sookie

I choked on my tears at the meeting last night. We were talking about choices. This whole week I have been second guessing my choice to get divorced because the finality is hitting me. It is now official. He will not speak to me or communicate at all (which I guess may have its good aspects). I still have to...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery. It points out that this recovery is a discipline that requires diligence,patience and consistency in order to obtain results. The reading also indicates that regular attendance at Al-Anon meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 13 speaks about how we feel ,when we first come to Al-Anon looking for support and relief from the pain of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we are being torn down by the drinkers guilt and self reproach and this has left us feeling invisible and with no se...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

So I haven't had anything to drink at all since my husband went to 12 week outpatient. He has...one or two here and there and then three major "slips" (his word, not mine). I'm just wondering--do any of you drink? Sometimes I feel like having a glass of wine with friends or with dinner but I don...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Until recently, I had really been doing well at practicing loving detachment. I was focusing on me. Got back to healthy eating, some exercise, and going to meetings. I figured out a convenient way for someone else to watch my infant son when I have to work late so I'm not worried about leaving him alo...

mjferg · mjferg

I told my therapist yesterday, living with an alcoholic is like going through a hurricane,everything gets torn down and you have to rebuild.Starting with yourself and then other areas in your life,it takes time and it isn't easy. Well I am still here.I have been busy with school,it's midterms aga...

zebrafish · zebrafish

We have drug dealers here, and burglarizing. The drug dealers have been trying to pressure us out for about 2 years now, by partying right outside our apartment. The mental distress of that is a lot. I tried crimestoppers, I tried just calling the police, none of it got me anywhere. So I tried starti...

Rosepetal · Rosepetal

Hi everyone - I am new here. Been separated from my alcoholic husband for 6 months now (this is the second time we've separated). He has been drinking for 4 months now. He is blaming me for it. Right after we separated the 2nd time, I was feeling very lonely and depressed and he was being lovely. I was reall...

Irish7 · Irish7

ive only been in al anon for 6 months, but i think at least a year before that I realized I could not assert control over my AH and a step kids drinking. I was desperate to control something and so focused on eating and fitness-- areas where I've often lacked self control. I've become quite militant in this...

Hillyard · Hillyard

How do you all deal with verbal abuse? My wife has been verbally abusive for as long as we've been married (almost 19 years) and it seemed to progress with the alcohol use. Sometimes when I bring it up she doesn't even know she's doing it. It even happens when she's sober. Example - she wakes up and finds ou...

worried Mom · worried Mom

Still pretty new at Alanon, 3rd f2f meeting today..... so I'm wondering this..... when I I don't hear from my A daughter it usually means she's drinking. Drinking for her means drink until you black out. I can't decide whether to call and check on her. Don't call - I worry; do call - get upset if she's drin...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I'm just wondering if this kind of thinking is damaging or fair. Everytime an "episode" happens, I think "okay, this time he really gets how bad this is" or "this time, now that he knows the kids noticed, he will change" or "since he slept with her and that is dev...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I understand when people make this statement and similar claims of how awesome their partner is followed by...."when he's sober." To me, I almost think this is a thinking trap that leads us to further disappointment. I know from when I was an active alcoholic and when engaged in a long te...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading is a focus on Traditions One and Two. Tradition one being that the welfare of the group comes first, that personal progress depends upon unity, and two that the one authority is a loving God as expressed through a group conscience. I have not studied and worked on the traditions as I ha...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Lately, I've been feeling kind of low. Lots of memories keep breaking in my mind, good and bad, and I'm having a hard time controlling them. I feel like I need to make big decisions but not sure about it.

sookie · sookie

Struggling lately. I am now divorced. The paperwork arrived in the mail a few weeks ago. It has been a long time coming. My ex-AH moved out over 4 years ago and I held on to hope for most of it that we would figure it out and make it work. But it just kept churning and cycling and I couldn't do it anymore. Now tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ugh. Just when you think you've become perfect, lol! I was talking to my grandmother on the phone and I mentioned that I have received really good grades so far for my classes this semester and I'm pleased. Now a few weeks ago she asked me how school was going and I told her it was demanding but good and she s...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms. Remember the precious times I know the following is very true for all of us.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The stress is on so please send positive prayers, thoughts and or vibes my way this week please. Mother's Day was nothing special I did homework and studied and my girls made me very nice cards. Just another day and I was on my pity pot about it for a little while, but worked my program and realized until I a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 11 is a reminder of the way I once thought , felt, and reacted. It discusses the overwhelming feeling of determination --that I am responsible and can and must do something about everything. The reading points out that this attitude will do nothing constructive for me...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Had to laugh this afternoon. I have been feeling kind of rotten about this place we live in; it is pretty run down and the neighbourhood is pretty dodgy and daughter really hates it. I've managed to get the living room and bedrooms looking really good but the kitchen, bathroom, rear yard etc are pretty a...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so this past couple weeks .. I have gotten over a hundred calls from my ex addict .. I did not answer them for the simple reason nothing has changed .. I can see the familiar behaviors and patterns .. there are many .. I can see the manipulation of the calls .. the every effort to get me to answer .. recognizi...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well I can say that I had a fantastic Mother's Day, did not have to lift a finger to do anything yesterday. It was wonderful. Although there was an over shadowing of a sad feeling. My son, actually step-son although we don't use those terms in our family, had texted me Saturday night to tell me that he wasn...

Flower49 · Flower49

Today is a bummer day for me. I can't stop being weepy....hate it. My AH told me his PO will once again be coming to my home next Tuesday. It makes me so mad that I have to endure his criminal punishments to the point that I actually am feeling regretful for calling the police on him when he had his drug dealer...

runningwife · runningwife

I have reached my limit, but chickened out. This past week has really sucked. I went on a girl's trip with some friends. When I returned I found out my AH had gotten drunk at my son's game. So much that, luckily, the coach recognized it and drove my family home. My first mistake was arguing with my AH. The...

Jen61 · Jen61

I came to this site 2 years 3 months ago. I felt so desperate so I poured my heart out. I find it interesting to go back and re-read my posts. I feel that I have grown in many ways, but wow I have a long way to go to become the person I want to be. I want to thank all of you for commenting on my posts and helping me...

Fearngully · Fearngully

I am interested to hear what others have done when Face to Face meetings are not available. I have no meetings close enough to attend more than once every two months or so. The closest meetings to me are about a three hour drive one way and with two small children (one with a disability) that does not see...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I remember the tension - having to smile and pretend I was enjoying whatever was being thrown at me because I didn't want to ruin the special day. "It's Mother's Day, I did "this" for you, why aren't you happy? Its a "special day" I can act any outrageously way I want and you ca...

Kodydog · Kodydog

My son is 28 years old. He started drinking heavily in college. He moved home with us in his last year of law school. I was so sad when I realized he was an alcoholic. He managed to finish law school in spite of his addition. He started getting really sick and was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis which...

Denise505 · Denise505

Complicated and sad history with my mom. I was born in NY but raised by grandma iu French Canada until 6. When I went to live with my mom she didn't speak French. I have an accent and so no one figured she was my mom, and I look like my dad's side. Mom was an alcoholic. Dad is still alive and a gambler and nut...

Mama D · Mama D

My daughter is in treatment now on her own. She does not want to drink. Her drinking is a result of 8 years of mental & emotional abuse from her husband. Her drinking only became a problem about 3 months ago when she had to start taking medication for severe panic and anxiety attacks. So even thou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I know that mother's day and father's day can be very bitter sweet for many people for a multitude of complex reasons. I know for me I have a lot of strong mixed emotions about it. My sponsor and I have talked about this a great deal because when I came into Alanon 4 years ago I think almost 5 now that I think...

missmeliss · missmeliss

We had a very chilled out Mother's Day. Daughter kept things quiet this morning so I could sleep in, which was bliss after staying up late to meet a deadline. When I woke she had cleaned the lounge and taken out the rubbish as well as beautifying her room and putting away the washing. She'd bought me a gift...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...

barbarella · barbarella

Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT Reading 5-17 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 17 makes a very important point. It suggests that when we are sick we go to the doctor and take the medicine that is prescribed . That when we are soul sick and heartsick we need medicine just as much or even more. That living with the disease of alcoholism and with our own neurot...	hotrod	3	513	May 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Smoking pot, raging, an affair...Dry Drunk? (Preview) Hi. I know this subject has been written about before -- the posts I have read are more of a general nature. I introduced myself a little while back, too, so some of this people may have already read. I am seeking comments. Ok. So I know I am an enabler and have engaged in denial and poor boundaries and...	SpookyMulder	7	714	May 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	Husband has no empathy for deep childhood wounds (Preview) My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling. Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic...	Living508	2	725	May 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	im confused (Preview) A little about me, no kids, married, i came from a different country, i had to learn English on my own to survive, i paid my college tuition on my own - no loans always saving money and not living in debt - it was very difficult but i overcome that obstacle. i come from a middle class background but when i ca...	needguidance	5	603	May 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	crisis moment! please help! (Preview) 2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with...	Living508	8	662	May 17, 2015 by Living508
	What after vacation? (Preview) Hi all- not posted for a while but quietly working my steps & I feel well. My AH has been dry for 4 months after a drinking binge that put his life at risk. Gave him the wake up call he needed & he went to AA a few times. In those months he's looked after himself well. Obsessively exercising & diet...	Tash2	2	467	May 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	So Frustrated (Preview) so ah got a new car and already blew off the inportant day of going to get the puff device and his resticted liscense so now he is rolling the dice by drinking today. so i took his keys so he wont kill anyone at least for 2 days in his car. he is such a lost cause.. now he says he is suffering from incontinece of hi...	YARNCRAZY	5	592	May 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	ODAT READING for 5-15 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 15 is a powerful reminder to keep the focus on ourselves and stop trying to figure out why somebody says what they say or do. The reading stresses importance of not jumping to conclusions about another person's motives, our actions as we cannot read people's minds. Even when...	hotrod	4	566	May 16, 2015 by serenity47
	Each Episode Brings More To Light (Preview) I find that with each heated episode from AH, which are fewer and fewer as time goes on, that the results I am encountering seem to enlighten both me and AH. For me the enlightenment centers around more understanding and empathy for the disease and with that comes less resentment, not acceptance mind...	Debb	2	528	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	Effect of alcoholism on sexual desire? (Preview) Hi all, I'm recently divorced after less than three years with an alcoholic wife. I'm curious to know more about what alcoholism, or addiction in general, commonly does to sexual desire for the sober spouse in the marriage. I've heard "addiction kills love" a number of times and I can ce...	jk17	6	676	May 16, 2015 by jk17
	C2C 5-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for today reminds us that in Al-Anon we come together as a" fellowship of equals" where no one is in charge and no one is an expert. Because the help we exchange is nonprofessional and has a specific goal, Al-Anon does not solve every problem. It is a remarkable effective ap...	hotrod	1	391	May 16, 2015 by Debb
	Long Suffering Martyr (Preview) Hi, long time co-dependent, first time caller. im on my second marriage to an alcoholic and SHOCKER, this ain't going too well. I have never had impulses to cover up for alcoholics, or manage their lives, per se, but I do have a huge problem shouldering far more than my share in the marriage and expectin...	Todzilla	10	876	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	Confused, ashamed, don't want to be here (Preview) I was brought up in a family with a history of alcoholics, although I never actually saw any of it. But I got the very strong message that alcohol was dangerous and bad, that it ruined lives, and that it drinking to excess was NEVER tolerated. As a result I have never drank alcohol my entire life and am un...	PlainJane	5	601	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	It's been a LONG time but here I am. Back again. (Preview) So here I am again. Full circle. History - Married my high school sweetheart at 18 when I got pregnant. That was back in 1992. 15 years of marriage. Divorced because of my husband's drug and alcohol abuse. His drug of choice back then: Cocaine/Crack. We were separated for one year and divorced fo...	QOD	3	582	May 15, 2015 by serenity47
	Why is this so hard? (Preview) I read so many things things and get myself prepared for the next time this guy comes home drunk, but it never goes as planned and I don't know why. It should, because he always says and does the same things. Always. The only thing that changes is my strategy. I plan for this, like, 'Next time I'll lock hi...	MOF77	10	667	May 15, 2015 by PennyJenny010115
	New and Heartbroken (Preview) Hi, I'm very new to Alanon. Just went to my second meeting last night. I'm a 34 year old woman who fell deeply in love with the most wonderful man two years ago. We were best friends first and then ended up falling in love and he moved into my home. He's younger than me but at 27 had been on his own since he was a y...	Blonde80	3	597	May 15, 2015 by PennyJenny010115
	Struggling in a world full of lies. (Preview) I am feeling very deflated at the moment. Worthless and useless too. Basically tomorrow is a pretty important and stressful day at work. Due the outstanding reputation of the school where I work with some principal and deputy principal from other school are coming to my school to visit/spend the day...	Luiza	7	634	May 15, 2015 by hotrod
	How far can they go and still recover? (Preview) My husband of 33 years is in ICU for the past 2 weeks- perforated bowel ( duodenal ulcer from alcohol) that opened twice, tracheotomy tomorrow, liver and kidney function damaged from alcohol. If he does pull through they said a rehab then nursing home placement. He is only 60 years old. And myself and o...	lisal	15	767	May 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	Update on me! (Preview) Hello everyone, can you please keep me in your thoughts and send positive vibes for me to trust God's will and what my next step will be regarding my job situation. I had a job interview yesterday which went really well and they want to hire me but the pay is low and the drive is far. I have been homeschool...	andromeda	11	748	May 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	IamHere....and I Am Back! (Preview) I had to see how long it's been since I've been 'here' and I am certainly surprised that it's been 5+ years. At the time, my DS and AH were my 'qualifiers' and I am happy to report my DS will be celebrating 5 years clean in July. While he's in a much better place, our relationship is strained at best. I am a do...	Iamhere	5	563	May 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	New here new to Al-Anon, stuck between a rock and a hard place (Preview) my significant other who I will refer to here as Steve has been an alcoholic for our entire relationship. We just had our 22 year anniversary of being together. We are not married but we might as well be. I have finally reached the end of my rope. The Saturday before last he had a major meltdown and was sc...	JukuVee	5	611	May 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Real Relationship Even Possible? (Preview) Can you really have a real relationship with someone who abuses alcohol daily? Is it even possible? Alcohol interferes immensely with emotional and spiritual growth, right? How can you build a real relationship with some who drinks? If you are in that relationship how do you remain sane?	Hillyard	11	660	May 14, 2015 by maryjane
	Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, Don't Say it Mean (Preview) My AD said that she wanted to visit with me on Mother's Day, but then also told her sister that she was going to bring some paperwork for me to sign. As some background to this, my AD has been living in the home that my AH owned and was living in when he suddenly passed over two years ago. Since that time, no mor...	Green Eyes	2	696	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Just. Want. Out. (Preview) I feel like I may have started Al Anon too late, as I just want out of my 15 year relationship (10 year marriage). My AH has slowed down so much on his drinking and he's so proud of his progress and even though he still drinks he almost never becomes drunk. He hasn't been physically violent with me in over...	PennyJenny010115	12	663	May 14, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Feel stuck! (Preview) 20 year old AD living here at the moment. Repeated lost jobs due to alcohol abuse and whatever else? My dilemma is this. We have cut off all money, have sold some things in storage to recoup money lent that was never repaid. Have drove her around repeatedly job hunting etc when she has no gas. We live i...	serenity47	1	558	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Looking back at your choices (Preview) I choked on my tears at the meeting last night. We were talking about choices. This whole week I have been second guessing my choice to get divorced because the finality is hitting me. It is now official. He will not speak to me or communicate at all (which I guess may have its good aspects). I still have to...	sookie	3	584	May 14, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C Reading 5 -14 (Preview) C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery. It points out that this recovery is a discipline that requires diligence,patience and consistency in order to obtain results. The reading also indicates that regular attendance at Al-Anon meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon...	hotrod	1	399	May 14, 2015 by serenity47
	ODAT Reading 5-13 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 13 speaks about how we feel ,when we first come to Al-Anon looking for support and relief from the pain of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that we are being torn down by the drinkers guilt and self reproach and this has left us feeling invisible and with no se...	hotrod	2	667	May 13, 2015 by Debb
	Do you drink? (Preview) So I haven't had anything to drink at all since my husband went to 12 week outpatient. He has...one or two here and there and then three major "slips" (his word, not mine). I'm just wondering--do any of you drink? Sometimes I feel like having a glass of wine with friends or with dinner but I don...	butterfly88	15	854	May 13, 2015 by Bethany66
	Trying to stay positive (Preview) Until recently, I had really been doing well at practicing loving detachment. I was focusing on me. Got back to healthy eating, some exercise, and going to meetings. I figured out a convenient way for someone else to watch my infant son when I have to work late so I'm not worried about leaving him alo...	Smiley99	8	545	May 13, 2015 by Gah2010
	After The hurricane (Preview) I told my therapist yesterday, living with an alcoholic is like going through a hurricane,everything gets torn down and you have to rebuild.Starting with yourself and then other areas in your life,it takes time and it isn't easy. Well I am still here.I have been busy with school,it's midterms aga...	mjferg	12	587	May 13, 2015 by Debb
	should I just move? (Preview) We have drug dealers here, and burglarizing. The drug dealers have been trying to pressure us out for about 2 years now, by partying right outside our apartment. The mental distress of that is a lot. I tried crimestoppers, I tried just calling the police, none of it got me anywhere. So I tried starti...	zebrafish	5	730	May 12, 2015 by zebrafish
	Another blame question (Preview) Hi everyone - I am new here. Been separated from my alcoholic husband for 6 months now (this is the second time we've separated). He has been drinking for 4 months now. He is blaming me for it. Right after we separated the 2nd time, I was feeling very lonely and depressed and he was being lovely. I was reall...	Rosepetal	6	525	May 12, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Do you assert control in other areas? (Preview) ive only been in al anon for 6 months, but i think at least a year before that I realized I could not assert control over my AH and a step kids drinking. I was desperate to control something and so focused on eating and fitness-- areas where I've often lacked self control. I've become quite militant in this...	Irish7	6	679	May 12, 2015 by Irish7
	Verbal abuse (Preview) How do you all deal with verbal abuse? My wife has been verbally abusive for as long as we've been married (almost 19 years) and it seemed to progress with the alcohol use. Sometimes when I bring it up she doesn't even know she's doing it. It even happens when she's sober. Example - she wakes up and finds ou...	Hillyard	26	1276	May 12, 2015 by ntd2001
	Another ?..... (Preview) Still pretty new at Alanon, 3rd f2f meeting today..... so I'm wondering this..... when I I don't hear from my A daughter it usually means she's drinking. Drinking for her means drink until you black out. I can't decide whether to call and check on her. Don't call - I worry; do call - get upset if she's drin...	worried Mom	4	440	May 12, 2015 by worried Mom
	When will I stop thinking "THIS TIME" he really gets it... (Preview) I'm just wondering if this kind of thinking is damaging or fair. Everytime an "episode" happens, I think "okay, this time he really gets how bad this is" or "this time, now that he knows the kids noticed, he will change" or "since he slept with her and that is dev...	butterfly88	13	667	May 12, 2015 by milkwood
	But he's so great when he's sober... (Preview) I understand when people make this statement and similar claims of how awesome their partner is followed by...."when he's sober." To me, I almost think this is a thinking trap that leads us to further disappointment. I know from when I was an active alcoholic and when engaged in a long te...	pinkchip	19	922	May 12, 2015 by sookie
	Hope for Today May 12 (Preview) Today's reading is a focus on Traditions One and Two. Tradition one being that the welfare of the group comes first, that personal progress depends upon unity, and two that the one authority is a loving God as expressed through a group conscience. I have not studied and worked on the traditions as I ha...	yanksfan51	4	502	May 12, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Bad thinking (Preview) Lately, I've been feeling kind of low. Lots of memories keep breaking in my mind, good and bad, and I'm having a hard time controlling them. I feel like I need to make big decisions but not sure about it.	Hillyard	15	626	May 12, 2015 by sookie
	The "poor me" feeling (Preview) Struggling lately. I am now divorced. The paperwork arrived in the mail a few weeks ago. It has been a long time coming. My ex-AH moved out over 4 years ago and I held on to hope for most of it that we would figure it out and make it work. But it just kept churning and cycling and I couldn't do it anymore. Now tha...	sookie	11	997	May 11, 2015 by glad
	And here I was thinking I was perfectly detached. (Preview) Ugh. Just when you think you've become perfect, lol! I was talking to my grandmother on the phone and I mentioned that I have received really good grades so far for my classes this semester and I'm pleased. Now a few weeks ago she asked me how school was going and I told her it was demanding but good and she s...	missmeliss	14	811	May 11, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms (Preview) Happy Mother's Day MIP Moms. Remember the precious times I know the following is very true for all of us.	hotrod	8	628	May 11, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Finals week while in clinicals..... and about Mother's Day (Preview) The stress is on so please send positive prayers, thoughts and or vibes my way this week please. Mother's Day was nothing special I did homework and studied and my girls made me very nice cards. Just another day and I was on my pity pot about it for a little while, but worked my program and realized until I a...	Breakingfree	7	528	May 11, 2015 by Irish7
	ODAT 5-11 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 11 is a reminder of the way I once thought , felt, and reacted. It discusses the overwhelming feeling of *determination --that I am responsible and can and must do something about everything.* The reading points out that this attitude will do nothing constructive for me...	hotrod	1	459	May 11, 2015 by Debb
	Mysterious Ways lol (Preview) Had to laugh this afternoon. I have been feeling kind of rotten about this place we live in; it is pretty run down and the neighbourhood is pretty dodgy and daughter really hates it. I've managed to get the living room and bedrooms looking really good but the kitchen, bathroom, rear yard etc are pretty a...	missmeliss	22	930	May 11, 2015 by Sweet Stanley
	fear (Preview) so this past couple weeks .. I have gotten over a hundred calls from my ex addict .. I did not answer them for the simple reason nothing has changed .. I can see the familiar behaviors and patterns .. there are many .. I can see the manipulation of the calls .. the every effort to get me to answer .. recognizi...	MeTwo2	5	512	May 11, 2015 by MeTwo2
	Where o where was my youngest son yesterday? Not with me... (Preview) Well I can say that I had a fantastic Mother's Day, did not have to lift a finger to do anything yesterday. It was wonderful. Although there was an over shadowing of a sad feeling. My son, actually step-son although we don't use those terms in our family, had texted me Saturday night to tell me that he wasn...	wildthang86	1	500	May 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Regrets (Preview) Today is a bummer day for me. I can't stop being weepy....hate it. My AH told me his PO will once again be coming to my home next Tuesday. It makes me so mad that I have to endure his criminal punishments to the point that I actually am feeling regretful for calling the police on him when he had his drug dealer...	Flower49	7	822	May 11, 2015 by Flower49
	I think I'm enabling (Preview) I have reached my limit, but chickened out. This past week has really sucked. I went on a girl's trip with some friends. When I returned I found out my AH had gotten drunk at my son's game. So much that, luckily, the coach recognized it and drove my family home. My first mistake was arguing with my AH. The...	runningwife	4	422	May 11, 2015 by sookie
	Two years, 3 months.. (Preview) I came to this site 2 years 3 months ago. I felt so desperate so I poured my heart out. I find it interesting to go back and re-read my posts. I feel that I have grown in many ways, but wow I have a long way to go to become the person I want to be. I want to thank all of you for commenting on my posts and helping me...	Jen61	3	453	May 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Face to Face meetings (Preview) I am interested to hear what others have done when Face to Face meetings are not available. I have no meetings close enough to attend more than once every two months or so. The closest meetings to me are about a three hour drive one way and with two small children (one with a disability) that does not see...	Fearngully	3	574	May 11, 2015 by milkwood
	Special days MY way! (Preview) I remember the tension - having to smile and pretend I was enjoying whatever was being thrown at me because I didn't want to ruin the special day. "It's Mother's Day, I did "this" for you, why aren't you happy? Its a "special day" I can act any outrageously way I want and you ca...	likemyheart	5	522	May 11, 2015 by milkwood
	My son Sad and scared (Preview) My son is 28 years old. He started drinking heavily in college. He moved home with us in his last year of law school. I was so sad when I realized he was an alcoholic. He managed to finish law school in spite of his addition. He started getting really sick and was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis which...	Kodydog	9	632	May 10, 2015 by Jen61
	Mothers Day Blues (Preview) Complicated and sad history with my mom. I was born in NY but raised by grandma iu French Canada until 6. When I went to live with my mom she didn't speak French. I have an accent and so no one figured she was my mom, and I look like my dad's side. Mom was an alcoholic. Dad is still alive and a gambler and nut...	Denise505	4	499	May 10, 2015 by LinSC
	Daughter Getting Sober Her Husband Not (Preview) My daughter is in treatment now on her own. She does not want to drink. Her drinking is a result of 8 years of mental & emotional abuse from her husband. Her drinking only became a problem about 3 months ago when she had to start taking medication for severe panic and anxiety attacks. So even thou...	Mama D	6	703	May 10, 2015 by Mama D
	Parents .. (Preview) I know that mother's day and father's day can be very bitter sweet for many people for a multitude of complex reasons. I know for me I have a lot of strong mixed emotions about it. My sponsor and I have talked about this a great deal because when I came into Alanon 4 years ago I think almost 5 now that I think...	SerenityRUS	4	536	May 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Grateful today. (Preview) We had a very chilled out Mother's Day. Daughter kept things quiet this morning so I could sleep in, which was bliss after staying up late to meet a deadline. When I woke she had cleaned the lounge and taken out the rubbish as well as beautifying her room and putting away the washing. She'd bought me a gift...	missmeliss	2	389	May 10, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 5-10 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...	hotrod	2	571	May 10, 2015 by maryjane
	(trigger warning) heartbreak with codependent mom (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...	barbarella	7	2502	May 10, 2015 by barbarella
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.