Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...

Maggiesmom · Maggiesmom

ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...

runningwife · runningwife

I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...

mjferg · mjferg

My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I did just comment about this on Andromeda's thread. Today was the day for me to decide my next round of enrollments for semester 2. I've been going around and around in circles all day getting more and more agitated because it just doesn't work and I am really at a loss. I've been very lucky this last seme...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP family...was gone for a week without intention. A week ago yesterday my wife and youngest son put me in the car and rode me off to the local city hospital. Something was up again with my head and so we requested an emergency cat scan because I had recently returned from Oahu from emergency h...

Saucy · Saucy

They say the first step to recovery is recognition. I got married 7 years ago. My husband is an Alcoholic, and I knew it when I married him, but I did it anyway. He and I started a business together, and after a year, he decided to gift 10% to each of his sons. Grown men with issues over him divorcing thei...

kspec85 · kspec85

I'm making myself crazy again. ABF has seemed a little "off" last night and this morning. Not incredibly so, but still. I have that feeling- like maybe he is kind of high or something. I'm not sure that he could be doing anything because he screens multiple times a week for both substances an...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is very interesting as it speaks about the slogan, "Keeping it simple." It points out that the entire Alanon program is simple-- as the purpose is to help us iron out the rough spots and that can be done only one day at a time. It goes on to point out that each slogan, w...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work. Tradition nine has been posted to the Step Work Board.Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60246048/alanon-tradition-9/ Please share your thoughts

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well .. I went ahead and let my XAH know he has the kids on Monday for Memorial Day and he's not said anything .. it is always up to the kids if they want to go however he needs to reach out to them. Now what he chooses to do with that information is on him. I'll be honest this benefits me far more than him. He's a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Crazy crazy week .. kids are getting out of school and so on. Holiday week at work .. LOL .. that is insane putting it mildly. I threw my program out the window yesterday so now I'm going through the wreckage at the moment and trying to figure it all out Seriously, I know everyone is stressed beyond belie...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Last month my AW left me. As I stated in other posts, she said she was "done" (ouch.) That I hadn't been attractive to her in years (Double ouch.) And that she was having an affair with someone I trusted and had invested in (Very, very ouch). Anyway, we all walked toward each other and I was o...

TxTycoon45 · TxTycoon45

Hi everyone.. I'm new here, did some research on the subject of setting boundaries and found some interesting stuff from 10 years ago or so but none of the information I saw was particular to my situation so I thought I'd throw this out for the group to respond. I am a husband of a binge-type alcoholic who...

Flower49 · Flower49

This is my latest thing to work on. I have a hard time with that in regards to my AH. I notice that I get irritated when I hear him talking with his sponsor who he calls every day. Every day the sponsor has some issue in his life...I worry that he isn't a great influence for my AH and when I hear them discussing h...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today describes my initial approach to working the alanon program. It points out that many times we are anxious to put the program to work and get instant results, so we run around asking for everybody's opinion and thinking that the more opinions we get, the better we will be. Today...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

HI all... I'm swamped and busy but it's good busy... my son is getting married and it's out of town for us so we have a trip coming up. Trying not to stress about it. Anyway last night at our meeting (I am leading it) something happened and I jumped into mommy mode for a young lady who was melting down... (...

endlesslyhopeless75 · endlesslyhopeless75

Hi, I have to admit this is the first time I thought of seeking help and just support, in this manner. I am a 40 year old, married, father of 1. We have been married for 13 years this october. The drinking has gotten progressively worse since 2009. My wife is to the point where she drinks 8 - 10 tall boys...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Before the 12 Steps, I worked hard like a hamster on a wheel striving to be perfect. Needless to say, in all my humanism, I failed. The program has taught me that perfect is impossible and it is great to be imperfect! Progress towards being a better person is all I need to strive for. In working to be a be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The above quote in the subject line is from Audrey Hepburn and spoke to me this morning. Part of my program is to make sure I take time to love me and work on me each day! So, this is my plan for how I will do positive and program things for me today... 1. Read my dailies. 2. Walk my favorite pup Layla. 3. Att...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Today is a new day. Today is a day for you to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day to begin to release all your limitations. Today is the day for you to learn the secrets of life. You can do it. You can change your life for the better. You already have the tools within you to do so. These to...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Because sometimes, the people you can't live without can live without you. Author Unknown This quote, written by an unknown author truly hits home with me. In my pre-recovery world and way of thinking, I often felt and said to myself, "What would these As do without me?" I have learned th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Thanks to al-anon I didn't freak out and figured out what my next step is right away. I get to retake it this summer and still graduate on time. I seriously needed an 84 on the final to pass and got an 83! So close but not quite enough, so onward and upward and I'm not beating myself up or anything. Life comes w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Lyrics from one of my favorite songs, and it seems to describe my progress in the program and life at the moment. Despite my wife's best efforts to distract me, I did put myself first, wrap up my writing, defend, and graduate last week! (Ok, revisions to do, but they are minor.) My parents and an aunt we...

vorpal · vorpal

He is out tonight drinking. I've been in recovery for thirty years and have been around alcoholics my whole life, dealt with mental health issues my whole life. So why I am I still so crazy with worry? Why does this still predominate my mind? Thank you for this forum. I know the answers to both of those q...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ahhh. The first (and most difficult) exam done and I have to say I was grinning from ear to ear when I read through the paper because there was only 1 single question I wasn't absolutely sure of the answer to. Yay!! Here's to my new non-freaking out study method!! But truly this is the first time...ever....

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today. May 20 speaks about working the 12 steps in both AA and Al-Anon. It points out that AA stresses that the alcoholic who works. The 12 step is bound to make great progress. This is also true for Al-Anon members.. The reading goes on to point out that we do not limit our aspirations...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello friends - i have not posted since the dysfunctional co worker post. The co worker does not bother me so much anymore, mostly because I tune her out and also she is really declining, 83 years old and mostly just walks around the office. Yesterday, a train hit me. I know my bosses are dysfunctional a...

Mikhail · Mikhail

I went to my first F2F meeting this evening and it was just what I needed. There were so many nice people and they were very kind to me. The person running the Newcomer's meeting before the regular meeting was very welcoming and it was a great experience overall. I want to go back. Truthfully, I had been dr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

It is Monday and I wanted to share what I am going to do for ME today to be gentle, kind and loving. For this member, if I don't know and love me, I can't know and love another fully. 1. Daily Readings. 2. Sponsor Meeting. 3. Walk with my Lovely Dog Layla. 4. MIP Meeting Tonight. 5. Monday night $1 Tacos...

kristina · kristina

new here. don't know if I want to get into this but my nightmares about mum is starting to haunt me. i'm 27 years old. my mum drank when I was groing up and stopped when I was 15, she hasn't been drinking since. when she drank she was evil mum, and I didn't like that but at least I knew her. then she got sober and t...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am having such a hard time dealing with my anger and resentment towards my AH. He was going to meetings but this weekend didn't go to one. On Friday he tried to say that the other guys were far worse off in the meetings, basically making excuses. Then this weekend he was making tons of excuse to get out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- This day's reading is about a person who wants to reach out to a family member but is held back because of feeling shame. The writer feels that everyone in the family sees her only as her alcoholic father's daughter, and feels isolated. After some thought she decides to write a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 18 talks about being able to read Al-Anon literature and simply "talk the talk." It points out that :" talking the talk" is very ineffective and that we must learn to" walk the walk" in order for recovery to occur. We have been accustomed to...

a4l · a4l

I started to notice around six months ago that ive become an emotional eater. Whenever I get upset, I reach for chocolate/ plan a morning around getting it. I have never had a lack of self control around food before, infact the opposite. I did a triathlon when my third child was 8 months old, and have...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My father has been a secret drinker for a long time and the family only recently discovered this when, as part of his treatment for diabetes, the doctors thought he might have liver cancer. We took that news as best we could and my dad started going to AA meetings in the hopes that he could stop drinking an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

In the past, I have put others wants/needs in front of my own - to the point where I have neglected myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I thought it might be fun/helpful if we shared what we have done or plan to do for ourselves today! So - I will start - 1. I took a long walk with my fa...

missmeliss · missmeliss

The weekend turned out to be lovely and relaxed. It was fun picking brother up from the station and driving around; he doesn't drive and he has never known me to. He normally refuses to discuss driving simply saying "I don't want to and I never will" (I said that for many years) but he opened up...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am divorced as of today. All went well in court. Took all of 30 minutes. Both of our lawyers present. They talked we did not. i had my ftf alanon right afterward perfect timing. I have Six days off in the next 2 weeks, at least i can put a dent in my junk. I need a good available rental come up soon. I keep loo...

MsRobot · MsRobot

I'm new in this journey. It's funny, I thought my alcoholic ex-boyfriend was the head case but I'm beginning to see patterns in my own behavior and choices that have led me here. 4 of my past 5 relationships have been with alcoholics. I'm attending in-person meetings and working through issues f...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I love how this program translates to the rest of my life. I start 3 weeks of exams next week and today I sat down to begin my usual pre-exam nervous breakdown (the one where I look at everything I have to study all at once, wail and moan that I can't POSSIBLY remember all of this and I am STUPID for leaving it t...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This last time when single after breaking up from an alcoholic, I finally developed some "relationship rules" for myself. I now recognize these were just boundaries and the rules were all based on painful past experiences...No drunks, no drug users, no party boys, no liars, no horribl...

Emma9152 · Emma9152

how do I get the strength to walk away from a 30 year marriage.?I have very little money no self esteem very few friends, my husband made sure of that. I am presently in a woman's refuge for a week now and hate it my husband is seriously ill. I thought I could cope but I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My gp offer...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 17 makes a very important point. It suggests that when we are sick we go to the doctor and take the medicine that is prescribed . That when we are soul sick and heartsick we need medicine just as much or even more. That living with the disease of alcoholism and with our own neurot...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Hi. I know this subject has been written about before -- the posts I have read are more of a general nature. I introduced myself a little while back, too, so some of this people may have already read. I am seeking comments. Ok. So I know I am an enabler and have engaged in denial and poor boundaries and...

Living508 · Living508

My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling. Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic...

needguidance · needguidance

A little about me, no kids, married, i came from a different country, i had to learn English on my own to survive, i paid my college tuition on my own - no loans always saving money and not living in debt - it was very difficult but i overcome that obstacle. i come from a middle class background but when i ca...

Living508 · Living508

2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all- not posted for a while but quietly working my steps & I feel well. My AH has been dry for 4 months after a drinking binge that put his life at risk. Gave him the wake up call he needed & he went to AA a few times. In those months he's looked after himself well. Obsessively exercising & diet...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

so ah got a new car and already blew off the inportant day of going to get the puff device and his resticted liscense so now he is rolling the dice by drinking today. so i took his keys so he wont kill anyone at least for 2 days in his car. he is such a lost cause.. now he says he is suffering from incontinece of hi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 15 is a powerful reminder to keep the focus on ourselves and stop trying to figure out why somebody says what they say or do. The reading stresses importance of not jumping to conclusions about another person's motives, our actions as we cannot read people's minds. Even when...

Debb · Debb

I find that with each heated episode from AH, which are fewer and fewer as time goes on, that the results I am encountering seem to enlighten both me and AH. For me the enlightenment centers around more understanding and empathy for the disease and with that comes less resentment, not acceptance mind...

jk17 · jk17

Hi all, I'm recently divorced after less than three years with an alcoholic wife. I'm curious to know more about what alcoholism, or addiction in general, commonly does to sexual desire for the sober spouse in the marriage. I've heard "addiction kills love" a number of times and I can ce...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today reminds us that in Al-Anon we come together as a" fellowship of equals" where no one is in charge and no one is an expert. Because the help we exchange is nonprofessional and has a specific goal, Al-Anon does not solve every problem. It is a remarkable effective ap...

Todzilla · Todzilla

Hi, long time co-dependent, first time caller. im on my second marriage to an alcoholic and SHOCKER, this ain't going too well. I have never had impulses to cover up for alcoholics, or manage their lives, per se, but I do have a huge problem shouldering far more than my share in the marriage and expectin...

PlainJane · PlainJane

I was brought up in a family with a history of alcoholics, although I never actually saw any of it. But I got the very strong message that alcohol was dangerous and bad, that it ruined lives, and that it drinking to excess was NEVER tolerated. As a result I have never drank alcohol my entire life and am un...

QOD · QOD

So here I am again. Full circle. History - Married my high school sweetheart at 18 when I got pregnant. That was back in 1992. 15 years of marriage. Divorced because of my husband's drug and alcohol abuse. His drug of choice back then: Cocaine/Crack. We were separated for one year and divorced fo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT reading 5-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...	hotrod	1	623	May 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 5-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...	hotrod	4	682	May 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to this, now what (Preview) ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...	Maggiesmom	16	972	May 24, 2015 by Saucy
	Sorry, I seem to have forgotten where I put my buttons.... (Preview) I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...	missmeliss	13	886	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	I left (Preview) I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...	runningwife	18	908	May 23, 2015 by stillhangingon
	Guilt (Preview) I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...	andromeda	12	819	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	need some input (Preview) My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...	mjferg	13	709	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	What to do? (Preview) I did just comment about this on Andromeda's thread. Today was the day for me to decide my next round of enrollments for semester 2. I've been going around and around in circles all day getting more and more agitated because it just doesn't work and I am really at a loss. I've been very lucky this last seme...	missmeliss	14	2088	May 23, 2015 by Fairlee
	Back home again gratefully. (Preview) Aloha MIP family...was gone for a week without intention. A week ago yesterday my wife and youngest son put me in the car and rode me off to the local city hospital. Something was up again with my head and so we requested an emergency cat scan because I had recently returned from Oahu from emergency h...	Jerry F	14	970	May 23, 2015 by Fairlee
	I am here, because I am clearly crazy. (Preview) They say the first step to recovery is recognition. I got married 7 years ago. My husband is an Alcoholic, and I knew it when I married him, but I did it anyway. He and I started a business together, and after a year, he decided to gift 10% to each of his sons. Grown men with issues over him divorcing thei...	Saucy	8	860	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	Need ESH (Preview) I'm making myself crazy again. ABF has seemed a little "off" last night and this morning. Not incredibly so, but still. I have that feeling- like maybe he is kind of high or something. I'm not sure that he could be doing anything because he screens multiple times a week for both substances an...	kspec85	13	822	May 22, 2015 by jk17
	ODAT reading 5-22 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is very interesting as it speaks about the slogan, "Keeping it simple." It points out that the entire Alanon program is simple-- as the purpose is to help us iron out the rough spots and that can be done only one day at a time. It goes on to point out that each slogan, w...	hotrod	0	372	May 22, 2015 by hotrod
	tradition 9 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work. Tradition nine has been posted to the Step Work Board.Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60246048/alanon-tradition-9/ Please share your thoughts	hotrod	0	802	May 21, 2015 by hotrod
	I think I did the right thing .. (Preview) Well .. I went ahead and let my XAH know he has the kids on Monday for Memorial Day and he's not said anything .. it is always up to the kids if they want to go however he needs to reach out to them. Now what he chooses to do with that information is on him. I'll be honest this benefits me far more than him. He's a...	SerenityRUS	1	513	May 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Crazy week! (Preview) Crazy crazy week .. kids are getting out of school and so on. Holiday week at work .. LOL .. that is insane putting it mildly. I threw my program out the window yesterday so now I'm going through the wreckage at the moment and trying to figure it all out Seriously, I know everyone is stressed beyond belie...	SerenityRUS	5	627	May 21, 2015 by andromeda
	Just saw my AW in the parking lot with the person she's having an affair with. Argh. I need help with comments... (Preview) Last month my AW left me. As I stated in other posts, she said she was "done" (ouch.) That I hadn't been attractive to her in years (Double ouch.) And that she was having an affair with someone I trusted and had invested in (Very, very ouch). Anyway, we all walked toward each other and I was o...	SpookyMulder	13	1087	May 21, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Setting boundries (Preview) Hi everyone.. I'm new here, did some research on the subject of setting boundaries and found some interesting stuff from 10 years ago or so but none of the information I saw was particular to my situation so I thought I'd throw this out for the group to respond. I am a husband of a binge-type alcoholic who...	TxTycoon45	9	877	May 21, 2015 by jk17
	Minding my side of the street (Preview) This is my latest thing to work on. I have a hard time with that in regards to my AH. I notice that I get irritated when I hear him talking with his sponsor who he calls every day. Every day the sponsor has some issue in his life...I worry that he isn't a great influence for my AH and when I hear them discussing h...	Flower49	0	602	May 21, 2015 by Flower49
	ODAT reading 5-21 (Preview) ODAT reading for today describes my initial approach to working the alanon program. It points out that many times we are anxious to put the program to work and get instant results, so we run around asking for everybody's opinion and thinking that the more opinions we get, the better we will be. Today...	hotrod	2	556	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Pay it forward.... (Preview) HI all... I'm swamped and busy but it's good busy... my son is getting married and it's out of town for us so we have a trip coming up. Trying not to stress about it. Anyway last night at our meeting (I am leading it) something happened and I jumped into mommy mode for a young lady who was melting down... (...	ladybugnessa	5	713	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Lost / Confused (Preview) Hi, I have to admit this is the first time I thought of seeking help and just support, in this manner. I am a 40 year old, married, father of 1. We have been married for 13 years this october. The drinking has gotten progressively worse since 2009. My wife is to the point where she drinks 8 - 10 tall boys...	endlesslyhopeless75	15	843	May 21, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	I'll Never Be Perfect but I Can Be Better ~~ Anonymous (Preview) Before the 12 Steps, I worked hard like a hamster on a wheel striving to be perfect. Needless to say, in all my humanism, I failed. The program has taught me that perfect is impossible and it is great to be imperfect! Progress towards being a better person is all I need to strive for. In working to be a be...	Iamhere	3	742	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! (Preview) The above quote in the subject line is from Audrey Hepburn and spoke to me this morning. Part of my program is to make sure I take time to love me and work on me each day! So, this is my plan for how I will do positive and program things for me today... 1. Read my dailies. 2. Walk my favorite pup Layla. 3. Att...	Iamhere	8	1083	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	I love this (Preview) Today is a new day. Today is a day for you to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day to begin to release all your limitations. Today is the day for you to learn the secrets of life. You can do it. You can change your life for the better. You already have the tools within you to do so. These to...	mercedes1959	5	651	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Sometimes, You have to Be Your Own Hero... (Preview) Because sometimes, the people you can't live without can live without you. Author Unknown This quote, written by an unknown author truly hits home with me. In my pre-recovery world and way of thinking, I often felt and said to myself, "What would these As do without me?" I have learned th...	Iamhere	8	858	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	I failed a class (Preview) Thanks to al-anon I didn't freak out and figured out what my next step is right away. I get to retake it this summer and still graduate on time. I seriously needed an 84 on the final to pass and got an 83! So close but not quite enough, so onward and upward and I'm not beating myself up or anything. Life comes w...	Breakingfree	11	857	May 21, 2015 by mjferg
	Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (Preview) Lyrics from one of my favorite songs, and it seems to describe my progress in the program and life at the moment. Despite my wife's best efforts to distract me, I did put myself first, wrap up my writing, defend, and graduate last week! (Ok, revisions to do, but they are minor.) My parents and an aunt we...	Skorpi	11	3529	May 21, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	I love my brother very much (Preview) He is out tonight drinking. I've been in recovery for thirty years and have been around alcoholics my whole life, dealt with mental health issues my whole life. So why I am I still so crazy with worry? Why does this still predominate my mind? Thank you for this forum. I know the answers to both of those q...	vorpal	5	710	May 20, 2015 by vorpal
	Now for my next trick.... (Preview) Ahhh. The first (and most difficult) exam done and I have to say I was grinning from ear to ear when I read through the paper because there was only 1 single question I wasn't absolutely sure of the answer to. Yay!! Here's to my new non-freaking out study method!! But truly this is the first time...ever....	missmeliss	4	763	May 20, 2015 by gillygilly
	ODAT reading 5-20 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today. May 20 speaks about working the 12 steps in both AA and Al-Anon. It points out that AA stresses that the alcoholic who works. The 12 step is bound to make great progress. This is also true for Al-Anon members.. The reading goes on to point out that we do not limit our aspirations...	hotrod	2	872	May 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just need some encouraging words (Preview) Hello friends - i have not posted since the dysfunctional co worker post. The co worker does not bother me so much anymore, mostly because I tune her out and also she is really declining, 83 years old and mostly just walks around the office. Yesterday, a train hit me. I know my bosses are dysfunctional a...	mercedes1959	4	793	May 20, 2015 by mercedes1959
	First F2F meeting (Preview) I went to my first F2F meeting this evening and it was just what I needed. There were so many nice people and they were very kind to me. The person running the Newcomer's meeting before the regular meeting was very welcoming and it was a great experience overall. I want to go back. Truthfully, I had been dr...	Mikhail	3	619	May 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do I love ME - Let me Count the WAYS! (Preview) It is Monday and I wanted to share what I am going to do for ME today to be gentle, kind and loving. For this member, if I don't know and love me, I can't know and love another fully. 1. Daily Readings. 2. Sponsor Meeting. 3. Walk with my Lovely Dog Layla. 4. MIP Meeting Tonight. 5. Monday night $1 Tacos...	Iamhere	11	2711	May 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	not only two - but three different mums (Preview) new here. don't know if I want to get into this but my nightmares about mum is starting to haunt me. i'm 27 years old. my mum drank when I was groing up and stopped when I was 15, she hasn't been drinking since. when she drank she was evil mum, and I didn't like that but at least I knew her. then she got sober and t...	kristina	4	681	May 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Having a hard time dealing.... (Preview) I am having such a hard time dealing with my anger and resentment towards my AH. He was going to meetings but this weekend didn't go to one. On Friday he tried to say that the other guys were far worse off in the meetings, basically making excuses. Then this weekend he was making tons of excuse to get out...	Jazzie18	5	958	May 19, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Hope for Today May 19 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- This day's reading is about a person who wants to reach out to a family member but is held back because of feeling shame. The writer feels that everyone in the family sees her only as her alcoholic father's daughter, and feels isolated. After some thought she decides to write a...	yanksfan51	3	795	May 19, 2015 by ntd2001
	ODAT and C2C reading for 5-18 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 18 talks about being able to read Al-Anon literature and simply "talk the talk." It points out that :" talking the talk" is very ineffective and that we must learn to" walk the walk" in order for recovery to occur. We have been accustomed to...	hotrod	4	1009	May 19, 2015 by ntd2001
	emotional eating/spending. (Preview) I started to notice around six months ago that ive become an emotional eater. Whenever I get upset, I reach for chocolate/ plan a morning around getting it. I have never had a lack of self control around food before, infact the opposite. I did a triathlon when my third child was 8 months old, and have...	a4l	9	896	May 19, 2015 by Mirandac
	New And Sad (Preview) My father has been a secret drinker for a long time and the family only recently discovered this when, as part of his treatment for diabetes, the doctors thought he might have liver cancer. We took that news as best we could and my dad started going to AA meetings in the hopes that he could stop drinking an...	Mikhail	7	906	May 18, 2015 by Mirandac
	What About You Today? (Preview) In the past, I have put others wants/needs in front of my own - to the point where I have neglected myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I thought it might be fun/helpful if we shared what we have done or plan to do for ourselves today! So - I will start - 1. I took a long walk with my fa...	Iamhere	16	838	May 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Sunday night and all's well. (Preview) The weekend turned out to be lovely and relaxed. It was fun picking brother up from the station and driving around; he doesn't drive and he has never known me to. He normally refuses to discuss driving simply saying "I don't want to and I never will" (I said that for many years) but he opened up...	missmeliss	6	854	May 18, 2015 by 1911A1
	Divorced (Preview) I am divorced as of today. All went well in court. Took all of 30 minutes. Both of our lawyers present. They talked we did not. i had my ftf alanon right afterward perfect timing. I have Six days off in the next 2 weeks, at least i can put a dent in my junk. I need a good available rental come up soon. I keep loo...	Mirandac	12	883	May 17, 2015 by Jen61
	Warning Signs? (Preview) I'm new in this journey. It's funny, I thought my alcoholic ex-boyfriend was the head case but I'm beginning to see patterns in my own behavior and choices that have led me here. 4 of my past 5 relationships have been with alcoholics. I'm attending in-person meetings and working through issues f...	MsRobot	8	1079	May 17, 2015 by Irish7
	My Friday Night Babble. (Preview) I love how this program translates to the rest of my life. I start 3 weeks of exams next week and today I sat down to begin my usual pre-exam nervous breakdown (the one where I look at everything I have to study all at once, wail and moan that I can't POSSIBLY remember all of this and I am STUPID for leaving it t...	missmeliss	8	764	May 17, 2015 by Irish7
	Relationship rules (Preview) This last time when single after breaking up from an alcoholic, I finally developed some "relationship rules" for myself. I now recognize these were just boundaries and the rules were all based on painful past experiences...No drunks, no drug users, no party boys, no liars, no horribl...	pinkchip	13	1061	May 17, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Leaving (Preview) how do I get the strength to walk away from a 30 year marriage.?I have very little money no self esteem very few friends, my husband made sure of that. I am presently in a woman's refuge for a week now and hate it my husband is seriously ill. I thought I could cope but I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My gp offer...	Emma9152	5	720	May 17, 2015 by ntd2001
	ODAT Reading 5-17 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 17 makes a very important point. It suggests that when we are sick we go to the doctor and take the medicine that is prescribed . That when we are soul sick and heartsick we need medicine just as much or even more. That living with the disease of alcoholism and with our own neurot...	hotrod	3	615	May 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Smoking pot, raging, an affair...Dry Drunk? (Preview) Hi. I know this subject has been written about before -- the posts I have read are more of a general nature. I introduced myself a little while back, too, so some of this people may have already read. I am seeking comments. Ok. So I know I am an enabler and have engaged in denial and poor boundaries and...	SpookyMulder	7	824	May 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	Husband has no empathy for deep childhood wounds (Preview) My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling. Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic...	Living508	2	834	May 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	im confused (Preview) A little about me, no kids, married, i came from a different country, i had to learn English on my own to survive, i paid my college tuition on my own - no loans always saving money and not living in debt - it was very difficult but i overcome that obstacle. i come from a middle class background but when i ca...	needguidance	5	706	May 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	crisis moment! please help! (Preview) 2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with...	Living508	8	773	May 17, 2015 by Living508
	What after vacation? (Preview) Hi all- not posted for a while but quietly working my steps & I feel well. My AH has been dry for 4 months after a drinking binge that put his life at risk. Gave him the wake up call he needed & he went to AA a few times. In those months he's looked after himself well. Obsessively exercising & diet...	Tash2	2	577	May 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	So Frustrated (Preview) so ah got a new car and already blew off the inportant day of going to get the puff device and his resticted liscense so now he is rolling the dice by drinking today. so i took his keys so he wont kill anyone at least for 2 days in his car. he is such a lost cause.. now he says he is suffering from incontinece of hi...	YARNCRAZY	5	697	May 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	ODAT READING for 5-15 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 15 is a powerful reminder to keep the focus on ourselves and stop trying to figure out why somebody says what they say or do. The reading stresses importance of not jumping to conclusions about another person's motives, our actions as we cannot read people's minds. Even when...	hotrod	4	662	May 16, 2015 by serenity47
	Each Episode Brings More To Light (Preview) I find that with each heated episode from AH, which are fewer and fewer as time goes on, that the results I am encountering seem to enlighten both me and AH. For me the enlightenment centers around more understanding and empathy for the disease and with that comes less resentment, not acceptance mind...	Debb	2	628	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	Effect of alcoholism on sexual desire? (Preview) Hi all, I'm recently divorced after less than three years with an alcoholic wife. I'm curious to know more about what alcoholism, or addiction in general, commonly does to sexual desire for the sober spouse in the marriage. I've heard "addiction kills love" a number of times and I can ce...	jk17	6	776	May 16, 2015 by jk17
	C2C 5-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for today reminds us that in Al-Anon we come together as a" fellowship of equals" where no one is in charge and no one is an expert. Because the help we exchange is nonprofessional and has a specific goal, Al-Anon does not solve every problem. It is a remarkable effective ap...	hotrod	1	503	May 16, 2015 by Debb
	Long Suffering Martyr (Preview) Hi, long time co-dependent, first time caller. im on my second marriage to an alcoholic and SHOCKER, this ain't going too well. I have never had impulses to cover up for alcoholics, or manage their lives, per se, but I do have a huge problem shouldering far more than my share in the marriage and expectin...	Todzilla	10	1020	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	Confused, ashamed, don't want to be here (Preview) I was brought up in a family with a history of alcoholics, although I never actually saw any of it. But I got the very strong message that alcohol was dangerous and bad, that it ruined lives, and that it drinking to excess was NEVER tolerated. As a result I have never drank alcohol my entire life and am un...	PlainJane	5	707	May 16, 2015 by hotrod
	It's been a LONG time but here I am. Back again. (Preview) So here I am again. Full circle. History - Married my high school sweetheart at 18 when I got pregnant. That was back in 1992. 15 years of marriage. Divorced because of my husband's drug and alcohol abuse. His drug of choice back then: Cocaine/Crack. We were separated for one year and divorced fo...	QOD	3	724	May 15, 2015 by serenity47
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.