My AD said that she wanted to visit with me on Mother's Day, but then also told her sister that she was going to bring some paperwork for me to sign. As some background to this, my AD has been living in the home that my AH owned and was living in when he suddenly passed over two years ago. Since that time, no mortgage payments have been made, there are over $200,000 in liens on the house, the HOA dues have not been paid in years, and the house has a cracked slab and needs a new roof. So basically, the bank will soon be locking her out, along with the other squatters who now live there. She wants the squatters out and also wants to try to save the house. The house belongs to my husband's estate, and I was advised by my lawyer, at the time of my soon-to-be exAH's passing, to walk away from the property and not claim any ownership. So now my AD thinks that the house should be hers. She has no real job and horrible credit, by the way.

So when I found out that she was going to ask me to sign paperwork regarding the house, I texted her and said that I was glad that she would be coming over and then asked her if she could hold off until another day, as I did not want to deal with this issue when we were all together as a family (my other daughter and her family, as well as my mom were going to be coming to my place for brunch). I also asked her what the paperwork was that she needed me to sign. She texted back that she needed me to sign and notarize a "Specific Power of Attorney," and that it was a "pressing matter."  I then replied that I was saddened that the only time she wants to be with me is when she needs something from me. I reminded her that I had offered my daughters ownership of the house soon after my AH passed. Her sisters did not want anything to do with it, and my AD ignored my requests to talk to her about it, as well as ripped up the letter where I explained her options. I told her that I loved her, but I that I would not put myself in a vulnerable position again with her.

She then went off. She texted that she was "sorry to have asked for ONE thing in the last 2 1/2 years" and that she thought that I had realized that she had been "putting some effort into rekindling our relationship." Now mind you, the only time I have seen her this past year was when she wanted something from me or another family member. I reminded her that I made arrangements for her to take ownership my AH's truck (after I had to pay the registration and late fees, and several parking tickets that belonged to both my AH and her). She then replied that she would have never asked me for the truck if she knew that I would "hold it over her head two years later." I replied that I was sorry that she felt that way. She then texted her sister to say that she would not be coming over for Mother's Day and that she no longer would be calling me her mother and would from now on refer to me by my first name. Not a good start for my Mother's Day weekend.

I almost relented. I thought about texting her and telling her to go ahead and bring the paperwork and I would look at it later. But I knew that I had no intention of signing this type of document, so why delay the inevitable? Still, my heart ached. I learned from my Al-Anon meetings for parents the phrases: "No is a complete sentence," and "Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean." So I have not tried to contact her again. But it still hurts...

I've asked my HP to take over now. "I can't, He can, I'll let Him."

Thanks for letting me share.