Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debb · Debb

Working Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongsUnderstanding that the fear, resentment and lack of confidence that I developed from AH's verbal abuse was holding me back from being a compassionate human being with others and myself. Understa...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I haven't posted in a while but need to shout out how grateful I am for this program! I would not be where I am today without it and I am so very grateful. I filed led for divorce in January and Murphy's Law has been in full effect with the progression of things. What should have been a six week process is st...

ashes · ashes

Hi all, I don't really know where to begin with this so I'm going to start here. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings. everyone was very nice and very welcoming. I put off going for a long time because I was just scared about it, what if I met someone I knew. I have not yet shared at a meeting, I'm not very open a...

gillygilly · gillygilly

I'm sitting with an agitated anxious feeling tonight that I'm very familiar with. I don't know whether it's an al anon feeling, ie related to living with the effects of alcoholism, or whether it's just normal human life, or whether it's just me, so would be interested to hear any ESH. it would be espe...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I am sorry my question ended up being so weird and maybe patronising. I was actually trying to gain some understanding for myself, to work through a relationship issue I am having. I wasn't meaning to be a weird nosey ghoul. I just found, the question was s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading reminds us that we each have our own path in life and in recovery. It suggests that when we arrive at Al-Anon, many of us resent others who appear to have less troubled lives. The program helps us to understand and accept that we are all special and different. We always have exactly wh...

Debb · Debb

Guide to completing Step 4Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves I believe everyone needs are undoubtedly different, our lives are all different, so it makes sense to me that our needs and moral inventories would be different as well. I always believed that everyone has the pro...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I am out of town and I'm feeling depressed because I have not been to a meeting in a week. I miss the connection that I get from listening to other alanon people. i know my plight has to do with my AH. He is still actively drinking and living with OW. I felt I had to leave my home because I cannot take his drin...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been seeing a lot of posts about changing the A.How can I make him or her change?How can I help him or her see?I lived like that for so long,I believed it.After becoming miserable with my life I started this program and I have learned that it is always about changing me.The first question I asked mys...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been contemplating seeing a therapist for a long time now. Recently, daughter has started having some counselling and what both her school counsellor and her new extra-curricular counsellor have said to me is that "You should seek some support for yourself, mum". I felt that they m...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been slipping lately with my program. Other things have distracted me, some of which ive shared here. Ive kind of lost touch with what im all about. Im redefining myself or other aspects of myself and ive stopped being honest and taking that honest look at my shortcomings and assets. Ive had the reb...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

2 weeks ago my Ah had his first aggressive outburst. The ac and door were his victims. that was enough for me to ask him to leave. I have worked and am still working on this with my therapist. I have set up a meeting with a separate therapist for some couples therapy. I have explained to my AH that we need to st...

mjferg · mjferg

I am on my 2 week break from college.I have been waiting on this break and looking forward to enjoying some summer weather.It has been pouring rain,very cloudy and dreary.Forecast is rain,lots of it,for the whole 2 weeks.Sigh!I am just feeling grumpy today,I still have a lot of work to do on my house,i...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

It's amazing how quickly one can lose their serenity ... and in this case it has nothing to do with my A. My Mom is suffering from her own progressive disease, which I didn't cause, I can't cure, and I can't control. But, the Al-Anonic in me certainly wants to try and control or take responsibility for ho...

lookingup · lookingup

I don't really know where to start cause if I start at the beginning I'll be typing all night and through tomorrow,lol,not that my life has been in any way a pleasant life in the last year and a half,well here goes the worst parts anyway yall know how hard headed I am ouch!!!!! My head hurts I get what I deser...

mjferg · mjferg

I have an ex husband who lives in another state.We have been divorced for 12 years.He is an alcoholic,who is now in recovery?Well,that is what he says.We haven't seen each other or been together in those 12 years.The only contact we have had is the occasional Facebook comment. Once in a while we like so...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i found a nice apartment and will start to move in this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday. My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the good stuff away or bringing it somewhere. i am not t...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

As I continue on my journey with my new tool bag thanks to Al-Anon, I am trying to spend less time thinking about the character defects in others and more time reflecting on the issues in my own heart and mind that need tending. So much of who I am at (gulp!!) almost 50 years old (gasp!!) is not serving me...

Mark17 · Mark17

I'm training for a marathon and today I'm supposed to do 12 miles. I'm not at all happy right now, though. I did it! I broke free of my XAW! The divorce was final about one month ago. I remember reading _How Al-Anon Works_ about one year ago and being surprised how many of those marriages ended up in divo...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

i don't really know where to start, so I'll just spit it out.....ah started AA almost 3 months ago during a major crisis. He does seem to have hit his bottom, but wo knows. It took a while to detox at home, but he has just over 2 months of sobriety(, a sponsor, and regular AA attendance. He is working the p...

Debb · Debb

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanityI define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, i...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Despite all the drunkenness, I finished my edits and deposited. YAY!!!!! I actually am graduating! My wife spoke with her lawyer and found out she has to have 20-90 days in jail or on electric monitoring. She is changing her address to her mom's house. She is going to live at her mom's because we live 2...

almostThere · almostThere

Journaling for a brief moment here. I just spilled a whole cup of coffee. Went all over. On the rug. On the table. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout a few choice words and angrily get up and start the cleaning process, and refill the kettle and slam it down on the stove because now I have to make more cof...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi Everyone, I am struggling with my anger towards my husband. He has been sober for 10+ years without any program. He has always been hard on my son (not his) and I have spoken and warned him to stop with the harsh words. Anyway as you all know my son has been struggling since returning from visiting h...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello all, It has been quite a while. The reason, i am on a journey, geographically, mentally, spiritually! So know i want to share with you what i have learned so far, especially with those who hang in that moment where we think life will never be good again. It will! I have been through mental abuse with...

el-cee · el-cee

Theres been a lot of posts about grief and to be honest im not too sure what it is. Im looking for clarity. When my relationship ended i did have sad days, it was disappointing that the plans we made were not met but really I was glad to be free of the misery of it all. My life started from that moment to be hones...

gabigail · gabigail

I have been to f2f meetings for a year, but haven't been going for a year after the group dissolved. So I am here. I know in my f2f meetings there were lines used all the time. I didn't realize they were particularly used in the program. I still consider myself a newbie in the program, as I am only on steps 1...

Clara75 · Clara75

Hi, I've been visiting here ever day for months, since my AGF started drinking again in march. I find the support and hope you all share so helpful and I've been trying to learn to detach and learn a better way of dealing with this. I've started going to alanon again, I wanted to go tonight but she's so dru...

hopefortoday29 · hopefortoday29

My whole body feels like it is feeling emotional pain right now. It is past emotional pain not current but my whole throat feels like it is on fire and my stomach was in knots until a few minutes ago when I logged in. My partner is away this week and we have just put our dog in kennels to be looked after for a few...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everybody: Today's reading is about Step Five -- for the writer, how difficult to was to admit God, self and others the exact nature of his/her wrongs. The writer talks of a sense of shame about admitting the defects that turned up when they took their inventory. I was so fortunate in tha...

Koko · Koko

My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh? I have a 14 year old son. When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously..... my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house. I did not realize the extent of the dis...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

What is wrong with my brain anyway? LOL. Just found out I may NOT be homeless and MAY be able to purchase a home... and immediately my head starting ruminating over all the failed financial endeavors my AH has gotten himself into. Then I let the fear slip in - like well, if he has another relapse, or does...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am wondering if I feel anxious partly from not posting here as often. My AH filed bankruptcy so the house is not foreclosing yet. When I mention to him he hasn't helped me support our daughter, he claims he has "saved" the house by filing bakruptcy...knstead of giving me any money for our da...

Truth · Truth

I am so grateful and happy and just love my new life. It took five long years of pulling things together but it was so worth it

Wishing you all joy and happiness on your journey

Quakeroat · Quakeroat

my thoughts this morning were automatically on the life saving program we have been so freely given. if I was to answer what was the best gift anyone ever gave me it would have to be the steps. my gratitude to my Higher Power and the people can't be expressed more. my thinking has changed from constant com...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer. The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring...

Debb · Debb

When AH gets nasty and argumentative and goes into what I call the Dr. Jekyll routine, I have found that the most useful Al-Anon tool to use to say no is: J.A.D.E.You do not need to:JustifyArgueDefendExplainIt is the disease, not you or them that is creating the chaos. The ability to DETACH with love...

jamky · jamky

My wife asked me to write a poem for her recovery group to read at a poetry reading I came up with this, it's not a poem really but I think it conveys what I've seen' Can I get some feedback if this is appropriate or not? The Seduction Day One: Hi good looking, nice to meet you. I see you're worried, tired, y...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

The last 8 months have brought both my AW and I to our own respective recoveries. We are both working our programs, and doing a good job of staying on our side of the street. I'm staying out of her program ... and she out of mine. The dillema, at least as I percieve it today, is that in working our own progr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 14 continues the discussion on the Steps so that it offers some powerful insights into the 12th Step. The reading points out that after completing the Steps we realize what a wonderful gift the program truly is. It offers us an understanding of the disease, the tools to change o...

Koko · Koko

My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...

texasgal · texasgal

It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...

almostThere · almostThere

Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...

Debb · Debb

This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...

el-cee · el-cee

Debb · Debb

DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

madisonnw · madisonnw

hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...

almostThere · almostThere

Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.

almostThere · almostThere

I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...

almostThere · almostThere

My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...

Debb · Debb

"My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}

madisonnw · madisonnw

struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Had to Admit!! (Preview) Working Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongsUnderstanding that the fear, resentment and lack of confidence that I developed from AH's verbal abuse was holding me back from being a compassionate human being with others and myself. Understa...	Debb	2	593	Jun 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	It works if you work it! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but need to shout out how grateful I am for this program! I would not be where I am today without it and I am so very grateful. I filed led for divorce in January and Murphy's Law has been in full effect with the progression of things. What should have been a six week process is st...	Tossed Salad	5	740	Jun 19, 2015 by Debb
	first post, first share (Preview) Hi all, I don't really know where to begin with this so I'm going to start here. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings. everyone was very nice and very welcoming. I put off going for a long time because I was just scared about it, what if I met someone I knew. I have not yet shared at a meeting, I'm not very open a...	ashes	11	745	Jun 18, 2015 by ruthstoops
	Familiar feeling (Preview) I'm sitting with an agitated anxious feeling tonight that I'm very familiar with. I don't know whether it's an al anon feeling, ie related to living with the effects of alcoholism, or whether it's just normal human life, or whether it's just me, so would be interested to hear any ESH. it would be espe...	gillygilly	3	579	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	A note about my weird gay post (Preview) I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I am sorry my question ended up being so weird and maybe patronising. I was actually trying to gain some understanding for myself, to work through a relationship issue I am having. I wasn't meaning to be a weird nosey ghoul. I just found, the question was s...	missmeliss	5	747	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 6/18 C2C (Preview) Today's reading reminds us that we each have our own path in life and in recovery. It suggests that when we arrive at Al-Anon, many of us resent others who appear to have less troubled lives. The program helps us to understand and accept that we are all special and different. We always have exactly wh...	Iamhere	8	649	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	Guide to Moral Inventory (Preview) Guide to completing Step 4Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves I believe everyone needs are undoubtedly different, our lives are all different, so it makes sense to me that our needs and moral inventories would be different as well. I always believed that everyone has the pro...	Debb	4	2905	Jun 18, 2015 by hotrod
	I need a meeting!! (Preview) I am out of town and I'm feeling depressed because I have not been to a meeting in a week. I miss the connection that I get from listening to other alanon people. i know my plight has to do with my AH. He is still actively drinking and living with OW. I felt I had to leave my home because I cannot take his drin...	Confused2379	1	451	Jun 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	What I have learned (Preview) I have been seeing a lot of posts about changing the A.How can I make him or her change?How can I help him or her see?I lived like that for so long,I believed it.After becoming miserable with my life I started this program and I have learned that it is always about changing me.The first question I asked mys...	mjferg	6	616	Jun 18, 2015 by missmeliss
	Pity Party (Preview) I've been contemplating seeing a therapist for a long time now. Recently, daughter has started having some counselling and what both her school counsellor and her new extra-curricular counsellor have said to me is that "You should seek some support for yourself, mum". I felt that they m...	missmeliss	14	1036	Jun 18, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	no change without honesty (Preview) Ive been slipping lately with my program. Other things have distracted me, some of which ive shared here. Ive kind of lost touch with what im all about. Im redefining myself or other aspects of myself and ive stopped being honest and taking that honest look at my shortcomings and assets. Ive had the reb...	el-cee	7	651	Jun 18, 2015 by Mirandac
	Learning to be detached with love... Man it's hard and confusing. (Preview) 2 weeks ago my Ah had his first aggressive outburst. The ac and door were his victims. that was enough for me to ask him to leave. I have worked and am still working on this with my therapist. I have set up a meeting with a separate therapist for some couples therapy. I have explained to my AH that we need to st...	Lovejailed	9	658	Jun 18, 2015 by Lovejailed
	blah! (Preview) I am on my 2 week break from college.I have been waiting on this break and looking forward to enjoying some summer weather.It has been pouring rain,very cloudy and dreary.Forecast is rain,lots of it,for the whole 2 weeks.Sigh!I am just feeling grumpy today,I still have a lot of work to do on my house,i...	mjferg	1	484	Jun 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Lost my Serenity this week ... (Preview) It's amazing how quickly one can lose their serenity ... and in this case it has nothing to do with my A. My Mom is suffering from her own progressive disease, which I didn't cause, I can't cure, and I can't control. But, the Al-Anonic in me certainly wants to try and control or take responsibility for ho...	Dave2554	6	766	Jun 18, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hello my dearest alanon family...it's me lookingup (Preview) I don't really know where to start cause if I start at the beginning I'll be typing all night and through tomorrow,lol,not that my life has been in any way a pleasant life in the last year and a half,well here goes the worst parts anyway yall know how hard headed I am ouch!!!!! My head hurts I get what I deser...	lookingup	3	612	Jun 17, 2015 by vorpal
	Another learning experience! (Preview) I have an ex husband who lives in another state.We have been divorced for 12 years.He is an alcoholic,who is now in recovery?Well,that is what he says.We haven't seen each other or been together in those 12 years.The only contact we have had is the occasional Facebook comment. Once in a while we like so...	mjferg	8	732	Jun 17, 2015 by mjferg
	Moving (Preview) i found a nice apartment and will start to move in this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday. My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the good stuff away or bringing it somewhere. i am not t...	Mirandac	23	850	Jun 17, 2015 by Mirandac
	Taking time to focus on my own inventory - some tough issues (Preview) As I continue on my journey with my new tool bag thanks to Al-Anon, I am trying to spend less time thinking about the character defects in others and more time reflecting on the issues in my own heart and mind that need tending. So much of who I am at (gulp!!) almost 50 years old (gasp!!) is not serving me...	Bethany66	5	633	Jun 17, 2015 by el-cee
	12 miles on a day like this? (Preview) I'm training for a marathon and today I'm supposed to do 12 miles. I'm not at all happy right now, though. I did it! I broke free of my XAW! The divorce was final about one month ago. I remember reading _How Al-Anon Works_ about one year ago and being surprised how many of those marriages ended up in divo...	Mark17	11	1059	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	So very lonely for human touch (Preview) i don't really know where to start, so I'll just spit it out.....ah started AA almost 3 months ago during a major crisis. He does seem to have hit his bottom, but wo knows. It took a while to detox at home, but he has just over 2 months of sobriety(, a sponsor, and regular AA attendance. He is working the p...	Doingmybest	8	4546	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	I came to believe .... (Preview) Step 2: *Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity*I define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, i...	Debb	5	702	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	Well.... I did it??? (Preview) Despite all the drunkenness, I finished my edits and deposited. YAY!!!!! I actually am graduating! My wife spoke with her lawyer and found out she has to have 20-90 days in jail or on electric monitoring. She is changing her address to her mom's house. She is going to live at her mom's because we live 2...	Skorpi	21	1034	Jun 17, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Another one bites the dust... (Preview) Journaling for a brief moment here. I just spilled a whole cup of coffee. Went all over. On the rug. On the table. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout a few choice words and angrily get up and start the cleaning process, and refill the kettle and slam it down on the stove because now I have to make more cof...	almostThere	13	713	Jun 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	Dealing with anger (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am struggling with my anger towards my husband. He has been sober for 10+ years without any program. He has always been hard on my son (not his) and I have spoken and warned him to stop with the harsh words. Anyway as you all know my son has been struggling since returning from visiting h...	chelsea girl 24	8	748	Jun 16, 2015 by Koko
	Ex A got married... (Preview) Hello all, It has been quite a while. The reason, i am on a journey, geographically, mentally, spiritually! So know i want to share with you what i have learned so far, especially with those who hang in that moment where we think life will never be good again. It will! I have been through mental abuse with...	tortuga	5	672	Jun 16, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	what does grief mean? (Preview) Theres been a lot of posts about grief and to be honest im not too sure what it is. Im looking for clarity. When my relationship ended i did have sad days, it was disappointing that the plans we made were not met but really I was glad to be free of the misery of it all. My life started from that moment to be hones...	el-cee	15	2255	Jun 16, 2015 by lisal
	Alanon Slogans slogans (Preview) I have been to f2f meetings for a year, but haven't been going for a year after the group dissolved. So I am here. I know in my f2f meetings there were lines used all the time. I didn't realize they were particularly used in the program. I still consider myself a newbie in the program, as I am only on steps 1...	gabigail	11	6498	Jun 16, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Relapse (Preview) Hi, I've been visiting here ever day for months, since my AGF started drinking again in march. I find the support and hope you all share so helpful and I've been trying to learn to detach and learn a better way of dealing with this. I've started going to alanon again, I wanted to go tonight but she's so dru...	Clara75	11	741	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Re-experiencing old emotions (Preview) My whole body feels like it is feeling emotional pain right now. It is past emotional pain not current but my whole throat feels like it is on fire and my stomach was in knots until a few minutes ago when I logged in. My partner is away this week and we have just put our dog in kennels to be looked after for a few...	hopefortoday29	2	599	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 16 (Preview) Good Morning Everybody: Today's reading is about Step Five -- for the writer, how difficult to was to admit God, self and others the exact nature of his/her wrongs. The writer talks of a sense of shame about admitting the defects that turned up when they took their inventory. I was so fortunate in tha...	yanksfan51	3	572	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	My kid and I are a packaged deal! (Preview) My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh? I have a 14 year old son. When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously..... my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house. I did not realize the extent of the dis...	Koko	6	752	Jun 15, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	BLAH!!! (Preview) What is wrong with my brain anyway? LOL. Just found out I may NOT be homeless and MAY be able to purchase a home... and immediately my head starting ruminating over all the failed financial endeavors my AH has gotten himself into. Then I let the fear slip in - like well, if he has another relapse, or does...	LedfootJenny	2	575	Jun 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling extremely anxious lately (Preview) I am wondering if I feel anxious partly from not posting here as often. My AH filed bankruptcy so the house is not foreclosing yet. When I mention to him he hasn't helped me support our daughter, he claims he has "saved" the house by filing bakruptcy...knstead of giving me any money for our da...	Newlife girl	7	683	Jun 15, 2015 by Jerry F
	Love my new life :-) (Preview) I am so grateful and happy and just love my new life. It took five long years of pulling things together but it was so worth it Wishing you all joy and happiness on your journey	Truth	5	511	Jun 15, 2015 by Mark17
	Life saving program (Preview) my thoughts this morning were automatically on the life saving program we have been so freely given. if I was to answer what was the best gift anyone ever gave me it would have to be the steps. my gratitude to my Higher Power and the people can't be expressed more. my thinking has changed from constant com...	Quakeroat	3	502	Jun 15, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 6/15 (Preview) Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer. The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring...	Iamhere	4	555	Jun 15, 2015 by Debb
	Letting Go and Using … J.A.D.E. (Preview) When AH gets nasty and argumentative and goes into what I call the Dr. Jekyll routine, I have found that the most useful Al-Anon tool to use to say no is: J.A.D.E.You do not need to:JustifyArgueDefendExplainIt is the disease, not you or them that is creating the chaos. The ability to DETACH with love...	Debb	2	558	Jun 15, 2015 by hotrod
	The Seduction (Preview) My wife asked me to write a poem for her recovery group to read at a poetry reading I came up with this, it's not a poem really but I think it conveys what I've seen' Can I get some feedback if this is appropriate or not? The Seduction Day One: Hi good looking, nice to meet you. I see you're worried, tired, y...	jamky	8	776	Jun 14, 2015 by jamky
	Dilemma of Recovery (Preview) The last 8 months have brought both my AW and I to our own respective recoveries. We are both working our programs, and doing a good job of staying on our side of the street. I'm staying out of her program ... and she out of mine. The dillema, at least as I percieve it today, is that in working our own progr...	Dave2554	15	1022	Jun 14, 2015 by Dave2554
	C2C 6-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 14 continues the discussion on the Steps so that it offers some powerful insights into the 12th Step. The reading points out that after completing the Steps we realize what a wonderful gift the program truly is. It offers us an understanding of the disease, the tools to change o...	hotrod	7	607	Jun 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Grief or WHAT? (Preview) My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...	Koko	22	859	Jun 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	My thoughts on being LGBT in al-anon (Preview) I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...	missmeliss	6	1507	Jun 14, 2015 by pinkchip
	C2C 6-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...	hotrod	8	744	Jun 14, 2015 by Debb
	Resentful toward exAH (Preview) It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...	texasgal	6	692	Jun 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	A sobering performance (Preview) Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...	almostThere	11	912	Jun 13, 2015 by missmeliss
	The 4 M’s - Step 4 (Preview) This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...	Debb	7	3239	Jun 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	My son is back on track (Preview) Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...	chelsea girl 24	2	492	Jun 13, 2015 by hotrod
	He's in recovery...sort of (Preview) So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...	Smiley99	3	796	Jun 13, 2015 by pinkchip
	A Quick study then off to work (Preview) Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...	almostThere	7	754	Jun 13, 2015 by Quakeroat
	For you.... (Preview)	el-cee	3	616	Jun 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Detachment ... One Day At A Time (Preview) DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	11	1857	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	baby steps. (Preview) hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting	madisonnw	4	655	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Acting like nothing happened... (Preview) My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...	Bethany66	15	784	Jun 12, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C 6-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...	hotrod	2	611	Jun 12, 2015 by Debb
	spousal relationship success stories? (Preview) Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.	almostThere	12	898	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	This morning I was grateful for Grands Cinnabon Rolls (Preview) I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...	almostThere	2	505	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	First real vacation in 20 years...wish us luck!!! (Preview) Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...	Doingmybest	4	656	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	HA! Kids say I said the darnest things! (Preview) My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...	almostThere	7	727	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	My Freedom (Preview) "My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	3	497	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	first post. (Preview) struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...	madisonnw	8	725	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.