Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

almostThere · almostThere

Journaling for a brief moment here. I just spilled a whole cup of coffee. Went all over. On the rug. On the table. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout a few choice words and angrily get up and start the cleaning process, and refill the kettle and slam it down on the stove because now I have to make more cof...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi Everyone, I am struggling with my anger towards my husband. He has been sober for 10+ years without any program. He has always been hard on my son (not his) and I have spoken and warned him to stop with the harsh words. Anyway as you all know my son has been struggling since returning from visiting h...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello all, It has been quite a while. The reason, i am on a journey, geographically, mentally, spiritually! So know i want to share with you what i have learned so far, especially with those who hang in that moment where we think life will never be good again. It will! I have been through mental abuse with...

el-cee · el-cee

Theres been a lot of posts about grief and to be honest im not too sure what it is. Im looking for clarity. When my relationship ended i did have sad days, it was disappointing that the plans we made were not met but really I was glad to be free of the misery of it all. My life started from that moment to be hones...

gabigail · gabigail

I have been to f2f meetings for a year, but haven't been going for a year after the group dissolved. So I am here. I know in my f2f meetings there were lines used all the time. I didn't realize they were particularly used in the program. I still consider myself a newbie in the program, as I am only on steps 1...

Clara75 · Clara75

Hi, I've been visiting here ever day for months, since my AGF started drinking again in march. I find the support and hope you all share so helpful and I've been trying to learn to detach and learn a better way of dealing with this. I've started going to alanon again, I wanted to go tonight but she's so dru...

hopefortoday29 · hopefortoday29

My whole body feels like it is feeling emotional pain right now. It is past emotional pain not current but my whole throat feels like it is on fire and my stomach was in knots until a few minutes ago when I logged in. My partner is away this week and we have just put our dog in kennels to be looked after for a few...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everybody: Today's reading is about Step Five -- for the writer, how difficult to was to admit God, self and others the exact nature of his/her wrongs. The writer talks of a sense of shame about admitting the defects that turned up when they took their inventory. I was so fortunate in tha...

Koko · Koko

My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh? I have a 14 year old son. When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously..... my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house. I did not realize the extent of the dis...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

What is wrong with my brain anyway? LOL. Just found out I may NOT be homeless and MAY be able to purchase a home... and immediately my head starting ruminating over all the failed financial endeavors my AH has gotten himself into. Then I let the fear slip in - like well, if he has another relapse, or does...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am wondering if I feel anxious partly from not posting here as often. My AH filed bankruptcy so the house is not foreclosing yet. When I mention to him he hasn't helped me support our daughter, he claims he has "saved" the house by filing bakruptcy...knstead of giving me any money for our da...

Truth · Truth

I am so grateful and happy and just love my new life. It took five long years of pulling things together but it was so worth it

Wishing you all joy and happiness on your journey

Quakeroat · Quakeroat

my thoughts this morning were automatically on the life saving program we have been so freely given. if I was to answer what was the best gift anyone ever gave me it would have to be the steps. my gratitude to my Higher Power and the people can't be expressed more. my thinking has changed from constant com...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer. The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring...

Debb · Debb

When AH gets nasty and argumentative and goes into what I call the Dr. Jekyll routine, I have found that the most useful Al-Anon tool to use to say no is: J.A.D.E.You do not need to:JustifyArgueDefendExplainIt is the disease, not you or them that is creating the chaos. The ability to DETACH with love...

jamky · jamky

My wife asked me to write a poem for her recovery group to read at a poetry reading I came up with this, it's not a poem really but I think it conveys what I've seen' Can I get some feedback if this is appropriate or not? The Seduction Day One: Hi good looking, nice to meet you. I see you're worried, tired, y...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

The last 8 months have brought both my AW and I to our own respective recoveries. We are both working our programs, and doing a good job of staying on our side of the street. I'm staying out of her program ... and she out of mine. The dillema, at least as I percieve it today, is that in working our own progr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 14 continues the discussion on the Steps so that it offers some powerful insights into the 12th Step. The reading points out that after completing the Steps we realize what a wonderful gift the program truly is. It offers us an understanding of the disease, the tools to change o...

Koko · Koko

My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...

texasgal · texasgal

It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...

almostThere · almostThere

Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...

Debb · Debb

This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...

el-cee · el-cee

Debb · Debb

DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

madisonnw · madisonnw

hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...

almostThere · almostThere

Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.

almostThere · almostThere

I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...

almostThere · almostThere

My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...

Debb · Debb

"My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}

madisonnw · madisonnw

struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been dating for a few weeks now and its been fun. Ive met a couple of guys i hit it off with. Ive been chatting to a guy for a while now, hes pretty cheeky, forward, flirty, funny. We met up and hit it off and saw each other every day almost for the last couple of weeks. Very early days but i quite like him. The...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I was invited to a CODA meeting by a dear friend, who feels I would get a lot out of it. Is CODA part of or associated in any way with Al-Anon? What are its pros and cons? Thanks for any feedback!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 11 speaks about Step Nine. This Step asks that we; "make direct amends to those we have harmed" . These are the people that we identified in Step Eight. The reading suggests that if we have worked Step Eight, and become truly willing to make amends, HP will p...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family.... Still Feeling a Bit Battered from Yesterday, but I have decided to Pull up the Big Girl Pants and Accessorize... So Today I have On My Ring that says (ALL things are Possible thru He who Strengthens Me), My "How Important is It?" Bracelet... and My "Hope, Faith, &...

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

I am taking our girls for a two week trip while my husband works overtime. He has a drinking problem and is dealing with it by not drinking. A few weeks ago he was three days short of two months without alcohol. I was so proud of him for going such a long stretch and then I felt so upset that it came to an end. He i...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi friends-Most days I do pretty well with coping, using my alanon tools, not getting dragged down into the old stuff, but I guess there is just too much stress right now for me to do well. And yes, this is just for today because I know tomorrow will probably be better. I felt like reaching out to you guys...

glad · glad

I've not felt like the best version of myself the last few days, worries about things I can't control- I'm not really present. There are several things going on I'll mention one at this time. I think my feelings are about my lack of ability to navigate social situations, when to stand up for myself and...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Family ... Just Feeling Deflated today... Not Sure if it is just Life In General or if Something will Surface in the Sharing but at this Point I'm Willing to at Least Try Something.... As Some Know I found my AGram 3 yrs ago and she had a Stroke on Mothers Day.. Today she is Thank God still with Me, and soo...

OhCanadia · OhCanadia

For the last 4 years, ever since I met my A I've been hoping and hoping he'd get better. We got engaged almost 2 years ago and I just kept putting it off telling him that it wouldn't happen until he got better. 2 weeks ago I left the country as a last ditch effort to make him see that he needs help. And as of today...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I get that my AH is working through his program and I hope for nothing more than the best for him as he navigates these uncharted waters, but where is my husband when I need him? We have three children who need to be cared for, loved, and guided. My husband has become completely hands off. He even goes as fa...

JukuVee · JukuVee

He usually drinks beer and says he has quit. he was drinking some weird orange soda and now I think he was just filling those bottles with Smirnoff cocktails instead. I found the empty bottles that he tried to hide. He'll just deny it if I confront him but it really pisses me off that he thinks I am so stupid...

JukuVee · JukuVee

I have been on this site reading stuff and wonder if Alanon can really help me if I am not sure that I believe in God or a higher power. I am not a religious person and tho I would like to be able to believe in God I have never been able to fully do that. I am good with everything except the trust the higher power t...

Tracy6533 · Tracy6533

Hi everyone. I am new to the forums but not new to alcoholism. My husband has been an alcoholic throughout our whole 16 year marriage. 8 Weeks ago he decided that he had had enough and checked himself into a treatment facility. I was so happy that finally things would get better for him,for us and for our f...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It really should. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI

gabigail · gabigail

Oh, it's the Jekyll and Hyde thing again, and it took me by surprise last night. Unfortunately it is all I could think of/ focus on, and I'm having a hard time letting go. Which is scaring me because I'm afraid I'm sabotaging a job interview I have today because my focus is on my A. My A borrows my car 2 days a w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a phone conversation with ABF tonight. We talk every few days and I have to say, he's been doing well (according to my definition of well) for months now. He calls, we talk, he's kind of meek if anything and very respectful. He hasn't shown any signs of unpleasantness for ages not is he pushy. I last s...

littlelionman · littlelionman

For most of my 13 years with my AW I had undiagnosed ADD. After being diagnosed 2 years ago and learning about the condition, I realized how similar it is to being with an alcoholic in terms of relationship issues. It's so much more than just being forgetful, just like being an alcoholic is so much more...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I am grateful for this program and for all of you who are in the trenches with me. I've learned invaluable lessons on this forum. Today we ( AH and me ) had an "ah-ha" moment. After 4 years of marriage he says that he feels as if he's on the outside looking in. AH is approaching 5 mos sobriety t...

mjferg · mjferg

When I was a child I would spend hours alone in my room,writing poems and doing artwork.I would imagine wonderful worlds far away that I could visit and enjoy.I was very creative.In my English class, we were given a writing assignment, and today my instructor blew me away.She said,"Mary you hav...

Tracy · Tracy

I found out today An old timer has died he was my buddy. He was old enough to be my grandad, he was my all anon grandad From my family of choice . I gave him lifts to conventions and home from meetings I am gutted. But everytieme I think of him I smile. He married two alcoholics in his time. His favourite saying...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

When I look back at the things I lived through in my A home and the things my wonderful daughter has has to live with (from my craziness and obsession) to her father's addiction, it makes me sick. I have only ever wanted to be the best mother possible to my daughter. She is the only one I have (I lost 4 Befor...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH really hit bottom (which I think is bottom but really it isn't my business and he really needs to decide if it is or not) this week. On Monday he stayed home from work and proceeded to drink the entire day. He doesn't remember anything and just passed out. The scary part for me was that he was drivin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another one bites the dust... (Preview) Journaling for a brief moment here. I just spilled a whole cup of coffee. Went all over. On the rug. On the table. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout a few choice words and angrily get up and start the cleaning process, and refill the kettle and slam it down on the stove because now I have to make more cof...	almostThere	13	656	Jun 17, 2015 by pinkchip
	Dealing with anger (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am struggling with my anger towards my husband. He has been sober for 10+ years without any program. He has always been hard on my son (not his) and I have spoken and warned him to stop with the harsh words. Anyway as you all know my son has been struggling since returning from visiting h...	chelsea girl 24	8	685	Jun 16, 2015 by Koko
	Ex A got married... (Preview) Hello all, It has been quite a while. The reason, i am on a journey, geographically, mentally, spiritually! So know i want to share with you what i have learned so far, especially with those who hang in that moment where we think life will never be good again. It will! I have been through mental abuse with...	tortuga	5	620	Jun 16, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	what does grief mean? (Preview) Theres been a lot of posts about grief and to be honest im not too sure what it is. Im looking for clarity. When my relationship ended i did have sad days, it was disappointing that the plans we made were not met but really I was glad to be free of the misery of it all. My life started from that moment to be hones...	el-cee	15	2178	Jun 16, 2015 by lisal
	Alanon Slogans slogans (Preview) I have been to f2f meetings for a year, but haven't been going for a year after the group dissolved. So I am here. I know in my f2f meetings there were lines used all the time. I didn't realize they were particularly used in the program. I still consider myself a newbie in the program, as I am only on steps 1...	gabigail	11	5896	Jun 16, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Relapse (Preview) Hi, I've been visiting here ever day for months, since my AGF started drinking again in march. I find the support and hope you all share so helpful and I've been trying to learn to detach and learn a better way of dealing with this. I've started going to alanon again, I wanted to go tonight but she's so dru...	Clara75	11	686	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Re-experiencing old emotions (Preview) My whole body feels like it is feeling emotional pain right now. It is past emotional pain not current but my whole throat feels like it is on fire and my stomach was in knots until a few minutes ago when I logged in. My partner is away this week and we have just put our dog in kennels to be looked after for a few...	hopefortoday29	2	536	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 16 (Preview) Good Morning Everybody: Today's reading is about Step Five -- for the writer, how difficult to was to admit God, self and others the exact nature of his/her wrongs. The writer talks of a sense of shame about admitting the defects that turned up when they took their inventory. I was so fortunate in tha...	yanksfan51	3	523	Jun 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	My kid and I are a packaged deal! (Preview) My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh? I have a 14 year old son. When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously..... my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house. I did not realize the extent of the dis...	Koko	6	691	Jun 15, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	BLAH!!! (Preview) What is wrong with my brain anyway? LOL. Just found out I may NOT be homeless and MAY be able to purchase a home... and immediately my head starting ruminating over all the failed financial endeavors my AH has gotten himself into. Then I let the fear slip in - like well, if he has another relapse, or does...	LedfootJenny	2	514	Jun 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling extremely anxious lately (Preview) I am wondering if I feel anxious partly from not posting here as often. My AH filed bankruptcy so the house is not foreclosing yet. When I mention to him he hasn't helped me support our daughter, he claims he has "saved" the house by filing bakruptcy...knstead of giving me any money for our da...	Newlife girl	7	624	Jun 15, 2015 by Jerry F
	Love my new life :-) (Preview) I am so grateful and happy and just love my new life. It took five long years of pulling things together but it was so worth it Wishing you all joy and happiness on your journey	Truth	5	456	Jun 15, 2015 by Mark17
	Life saving program (Preview) my thoughts this morning were automatically on the life saving program we have been so freely given. if I was to answer what was the best gift anyone ever gave me it would have to be the steps. my gratitude to my Higher Power and the people can't be expressed more. my thinking has changed from constant com...	Quakeroat	3	443	Jun 15, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 6/15 (Preview) Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer. The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring...	Iamhere	4	497	Jun 15, 2015 by Debb
	Letting Go and Using … J.A.D.E. (Preview) When AH gets nasty and argumentative and goes into what I call the Dr. Jekyll routine, I have found that the most useful Al-Anon tool to use to say no is: J.A.D.E.You do not need to:JustifyArgueDefendExplainIt is the disease, not you or them that is creating the chaos. The ability to DETACH with love...	Debb	2	501	Jun 15, 2015 by hotrod
	The Seduction (Preview) My wife asked me to write a poem for her recovery group to read at a poetry reading I came up with this, it's not a poem really but I think it conveys what I've seen' Can I get some feedback if this is appropriate or not? The Seduction Day One: Hi good looking, nice to meet you. I see you're worried, tired, y...	jamky	8	717	Jun 14, 2015 by jamky
	Dilemma of Recovery (Preview) The last 8 months have brought both my AW and I to our own respective recoveries. We are both working our programs, and doing a good job of staying on our side of the street. I'm staying out of her program ... and she out of mine. The dillema, at least as I percieve it today, is that in working our own progr...	Dave2554	15	960	Jun 14, 2015 by Dave2554
	C2C 6-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 14 continues the discussion on the Steps so that it offers some powerful insights into the 12th Step. The reading points out that after completing the Steps we realize what a wonderful gift the program truly is. It offers us an understanding of the disease, the tools to change o...	hotrod	7	547	Jun 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Grief or WHAT? (Preview) My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...	Koko	22	803	Jun 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	My thoughts on being LGBT in al-anon (Preview) I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...	missmeliss	6	1407	Jun 14, 2015 by pinkchip
	C2C 6-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...	hotrod	8	685	Jun 14, 2015 by Debb
	Resentful toward exAH (Preview) It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...	texasgal	6	628	Jun 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	A sobering performance (Preview) Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...	almostThere	11	851	Jun 13, 2015 by missmeliss
	The 4 M’s - Step 4 (Preview) This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...	Debb	7	3075	Jun 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	My son is back on track (Preview) Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...	chelsea girl 24	2	430	Jun 13, 2015 by hotrod
	He's in recovery...sort of (Preview) So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...	Smiley99	3	740	Jun 13, 2015 by pinkchip
	A Quick study then off to work (Preview) Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...	almostThere	7	695	Jun 13, 2015 by Quakeroat
	For you.... (Preview)	el-cee	3	554	Jun 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Detachment ... One Day At A Time (Preview) DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	11	1786	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	baby steps. (Preview) hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting	madisonnw	4	601	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Acting like nothing happened... (Preview) My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...	Bethany66	15	725	Jun 12, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C 6-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...	hotrod	2	546	Jun 12, 2015 by Debb
	spousal relationship success stories? (Preview) Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.	almostThere	12	833	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	This morning I was grateful for Grands Cinnabon Rolls (Preview) I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...	almostThere	2	447	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	First real vacation in 20 years...wish us luck!!! (Preview) Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...	Doingmybest	4	606	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	HA! Kids say I said the darnest things! (Preview) My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...	almostThere	7	664	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	My Freedom (Preview) "My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	3	436	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	first post. (Preview) struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...	madisonnw	8	668	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	met someone, another alcoholic!!!!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Ive been dating for a few weeks now and its been fun. Ive met a couple of guys i hit it off with. Ive been chatting to a guy for a while now, hes pretty cheeky, forward, flirty, funny. We met up and hit it off and saw each other every day almost for the last couple of weeks. Very early days but i quite like him. The...	el-cee	45	1656	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	CODA and AL-ANON..? (Preview) I was invited to a CODA meeting by a dear friend, who feels I would get a lot out of it. Is CODA part of or associated in any way with Al-Anon? What are its pros and cons? Thanks for any feedback!	SpookyMulder	7	704	Jun 11, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 6-11 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 11 speaks about Step Nine. This Step asks that we; "make direct amends to those we have harmed" . These are the people that we identified in Step Eight. The reading suggests that if we have worked Step Eight, and become truly willing to make amends, HP will p...	hotrod	6	669	Jun 11, 2015 by Debb
	Al-Anon Armor ON.... (Preview) Hello Family.... Still Feeling a Bit Battered from Yesterday, but I have decided to Pull up the Big Girl Pants and Accessorize... So Today I have On My Ring that says (ALL things are Possible thru He who Strengthens Me), My "How Important is It?" Bracelet... and My "Hope, Faith, &...	Jozie	3	604	Jun 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do I stop worrying (Preview) I am taking our girls for a two week trip while my husband works overtime. He has a drinking problem and is dealing with it by not drinking. A few weeks ago he was three days short of two months without alcohol. I was so proud of him for going such a long stretch and then I felt so upset that it came to an end. He i...	Alma Daigle	7	1152	Jun 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	not emotionally balanced (Preview) Hi friends-Most days I do pretty well with coping, using my alanon tools, not getting dragged down into the old stuff, but I guess there is just too much stress right now for me to do well. And yes, this is just for today because I know tomorrow will probably be better. I felt like reaching out to you guys...	Lyne	4	598	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	I'm not myself- here's a rant ugh! (Preview) I've not felt like the best version of myself the last few days, worries about things I can't control- I'm not really present. There are several things going on I'll mention one at this time. I think my feelings are about my lack of ability to navigate social situations, when to stand up for myself and...	glad	4	658	Jun 11, 2015 by glad
	Waiting on the Last String to SNAP.... (Preview) Hey Family ... Just Feeling Deflated today... Not Sure if it is just Life In General or if Something will Surface in the Sharing but at this Point I'm Willing to at Least Try Something.... As Some Know I found my AGram 3 yrs ago and she had a Stroke on Mothers Day.. Today she is Thank God still with Me, and soo...	Jozie	6	775	Jun 11, 2015 by Jozie
	Recovery (Preview) For the last 4 years, ever since I met my A I've been hoping and hoping he'd get better. We got engaged almost 2 years ago and I just kept putting it off telling him that it wouldn't happen until he got better. 2 weeks ago I left the country as a last ditch effort to make him see that he needs help. And as of today...	OhCanadia	6	506	Jun 11, 2015 by glad
	Husband or Roommate (Preview) I get that my AH is working through his program and I hope for nothing more than the best for him as he navigates these uncharted waters, but where is my husband when I need him? We have three children who need to be cared for, loved, and guided. My husband has become completely hands off. He even goes as fa...	EarlyBird	9	789	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	Should I tell him I found empty bottles (Preview) He usually drinks beer and says he has quit. he was drinking some weird orange soda and now I think he was just filling those bottles with Smirnoff cocktails instead. I found the empty bottles that he tried to hide. He'll just deny it if I confront him but it really pisses me off that he thinks I am so stupid...	JukuVee	19	2040	Jun 11, 2015 by gabigail
	Is God really necessary for recovery? (Preview) I have been on this site reading stuff and wonder if Alanon can really help me if I am not sure that I believe in God or a higher power. I am not a religious person and tho I would like to be able to believe in God I have never been able to fully do that. I am good with everything except the trust the higher power t...	JukuVee	26	1123	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	I expected too much I guess..... (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to the forums but not new to alcoholism. My husband has been an alcoholic throughout our whole 16 year marriage. 8 Weeks ago he decided that he had had enough and checked himself into a treatment facility. I was so happy that finally things would get better for him,for us and for our f...	Tracy6533	6	744	Jun 11, 2015 by Dave2554
	This song should be a sticky. (Preview) It really should. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI	missmeliss	2	394	Jun 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Wish I had fair warning (Preview) Oh, it's the Jekyll and Hyde thing again, and it took me by surprise last night. Unfortunately it is all I could think of/ focus on, and I'm having a hard time letting go. Which is scaring me because I'm afraid I'm sabotaging a job interview I have today because my focus is on my A. My A borrows my car 2 days a w...	gabigail	18	944	Jun 11, 2015 by gabigail
	Thoughts on agreeing to stuff when people are drunk. (Preview) I had a phone conversation with ABF tonight. We talk every few days and I have to say, he's been doing well (according to my definition of well) for months now. He calls, we talk, he's kind of meek if anything and very respectful. He hasn't shown any signs of unpleasantness for ages not is he pushy. I last s...	missmeliss	6	645	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	Anyone else with ADHD? (Preview) For most of my 13 years with my AW I had undiagnosed ADD. After being diagnosed 2 years ago and learning about the condition, I realized how similar it is to being with an alcoholic in terms of relationship issues. It's so much more than just being forgetful, just like being an alcoholic is so much more...	littlelionman	11	945	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	New Awareness is a double edged sword (Preview) I am grateful for this program and for all of you who are in the trenches with me. I've learned invaluable lessons on this forum. Today we ( AH and me ) had an "ah-ha" moment. After 4 years of marriage he says that he feels as if he's on the outside looking in. AH is approaching 5 mos sobriety t...	LedfootJenny	6	803	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	Finding Mary Jane! (Preview) When I was a child I would spend hours alone in my room,writing poems and doing artwork.I would imagine wonderful worlds far away that I could visit and enjoy.I was very creative.In my English class, we were given a writing assignment, and today my instructor blew me away.She said,"Mary you hav...	mjferg	3	696	Jun 10, 2015 by Jill
	Flying carpet (Preview) I found out today An old timer has died he was my buddy. He was old enough to be my grandad, he was my all anon grandad From my family of choice . I gave him lifts to conventions and home from meetings I am gutted. But everytieme I think of him I smile. He married two alcoholics in his time. His favourite saying...	Tracy	7	630	Jun 10, 2015 by Jozie
	How do we help the children we have damaged? (Preview) When I look back at the things I lived through in my A home and the things my wonderful daughter has has to live with (from my craziness and obsession) to her father's addiction, it makes me sick. I have only ever wanted to be the best mother possible to my daughter. She is the only one I have (I lost 4 Befor...	Doingmybest	18	914	Jun 10, 2015 by karma13
	So sad seeing someone you love hurting (Preview) My AH really hit bottom (which I think is bottom but really it isn't my business and he really needs to decide if it is or not) this week. On Monday he stayed home from work and proceeded to drink the entire day. He doesn't remember anything and just passed out. The scary part for me was that he was drivin...	Jazzie18	2	2456	Jun 10, 2015 by mjferg
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.