|
|
no change without honesty
(Preview)
Ive been slipping lately with my program. Other things have distracted me, some of which ive shared here. Ive kind of lost touch with what im all about. Im redefining myself or other aspects of myself and ive stopped being honest and taking that honest look at my shortcomings and assets. Ive had the reb...
|
el-cee
|
7
|
623
|
|
|
|
|
Learning to be detached with love... Man it's hard and confusing.
(Preview)
2 weeks ago my Ah had his first aggressive outburst. The ac and door were his victims. that was enough for me to ask him to leave. I have worked and am still working on this with my therapist. I have set up a meeting with a separate therapist for some couples therapy. I have explained to my AH that we need to st...
|
Lovejailed
|
9
|
631
|
|
|
|
|
blah!
(Preview)
I am on my 2 week break from college.I have been waiting on this break and looking forward to enjoying some summer weather.It has been pouring rain,very cloudy and dreary.Forecast is rain,lots of it,for the whole 2 weeks.Sigh!I am just feeling grumpy today,I still have a lot of work to do on my house,i...
|
mjferg
|
1
|
460
|
|
|
|
|
Lost my Serenity this week ...
(Preview)
It's amazing how quickly one can lose their serenity ... and in this case it has nothing to do with my A. My Mom is suffering from her own progressive disease, which I didn't cause, I can't cure, and I can't control. But, the Al-Anonic in me certainly wants to try and control or take responsibility for ho...
|
Dave2554
|
6
|
738
|
|
|
|
|
Hello my dearest alanon family...it's me lookingup
(Preview)
I don't really know where to start cause if I start at the beginning I'll be typing all night and through tomorrow,lol,not that my life has been in any way a pleasant life in the last year and a half,well here goes the worst parts anyway yall know how hard headed I am ouch!!!!! My head hurts I get what I deser...
|
lookingup
|
3
|
583
|
|
|
|
|
Another learning experience!
(Preview)
I have an ex husband who lives in another state.We have been divorced for 12 years.He is an alcoholic,who is now in recovery?Well,that is what he says.We haven't seen each other or been together in those 12 years.The only contact we have had is the occasional Facebook comment. Once in a while we like so...
|
mjferg
|
8
|
705
|
|
|
|
|
Moving
(Preview)
i found a nice apartment and will start to move in this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday. My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the good stuff away or bringing it somewhere. i am not t...
|
Mirandac
|
23
|
821
|
|
|
|
|
Taking time to focus on my own inventory - some tough issues
(Preview)
As I continue on my journey with my new tool bag thanks to Al-Anon, I am trying to spend less time thinking about the character defects in others and more time reflecting on the issues in my own heart and mind that need tending. So much of who I am at (gulp!!) almost 50 years old (gasp!!) is not serving me...
|
Bethany66
|
5
|
604
|
|
|
|
|
12 miles on a day like this?
(Preview)
I'm training for a marathon and today I'm supposed to do 12 miles. I'm not at all happy right now, though. I did it! I broke free of my XAW! The divorce was final about one month ago. I remember reading _How Al-Anon Works_ about one year ago and being surprised how many of those marriages ended up in divo...
|
Mark17
|
11
|
1017
|
|
|
|
|
So very lonely for human touch
(Preview)
i don't really know where to start, so I'll just spit it out.....ah started AA almost 3 months ago during a major crisis. He does seem to have hit his bottom, but wo knows. It took a while to detox at home, but he has just over 2 months of sobriety(, a sponsor, and regular AA attendance. He is working the p...
|
Doingmybest
|
8
|
4374
|
|
|
|
|
I came to believe ....
(Preview)
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanityI define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, i...
|
Debb
|
5
|
673
|
|
|
|
|
Well.... I did it???
(Preview)
Despite all the drunkenness, I finished my edits and deposited. YAY!!!!! I actually am graduating! My wife spoke with her lawyer and found out she has to have 20-90 days in jail or on electric monitoring. She is changing her address to her mom's house. She is going to live at her mom's because we live 2...
|
Skorpi
|
21
|
1004
|
|
|
|
|
Another one bites the dust...
(Preview)
Journaling for a brief moment here. I just spilled a whole cup of coffee. Went all over. On the rug. On the table. My knee-jerk reaction was to shout a few choice words and angrily get up and start the cleaning process, and refill the kettle and slam it down on the stove because now I have to make more cof...
|
almostThere
|
13
|
684
|
|
|
|
|
Dealing with anger
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I am struggling with my anger towards my husband. He has been sober for 10+ years without any program. He has always been hard on my son (not his) and I have spoken and warned him to stop with the harsh words. Anyway as you all know my son has been struggling since returning from visiting h...
|
chelsea girl 24
|
8
|
713
|
|
|
|
|
Ex A got married...
(Preview)
Hello all, It has been quite a while. The reason, i am on a journey, geographically, mentally, spiritually! So know i want to share with you what i have learned so far, especially with those who hang in that moment where we think life will never be good again. It will! I have been through mental abuse with...
|
tortuga
|
5
|
644
|
|
|
|
|
what does grief mean?
(Preview)
Theres been a lot of posts about grief and to be honest im not too sure what it is. Im looking for clarity. When my relationship ended i did have sad days, it was disappointing that the plans we made were not met but really I was glad to be free of the misery of it all. My life started from that moment to be hones...
|
el-cee
|
15
|
2219
|
|
|
|
|
Alanon Slogans
(Preview)
I have been to f2f meetings for a year, but haven't been going for a year after the group dissolved. So I am here. I know in my f2f meetings there were lines used all the time. I didn't realize they were particularly used in the program. I still consider myself a newbie in the program, as I am only on steps 1...
|
gabigail
|
11
|
6251
|
|
|
|
|
Relapse
(Preview)
Hi,
I've been visiting here ever day for months, since my AGF started drinking again in march. I find the support and hope you all share so helpful and I've been trying to learn to detach and learn a better way of dealing with this. I've started going to alanon again, I wanted to go tonight but she's so dru...
|
Clara75
|
11
|
712
|
|
|
|
|
Re-experiencing old emotions
(Preview)
My whole body feels like it is feeling emotional pain right now. It is past emotional pain not current but my whole throat feels like it is on fire and my stomach was in knots until a few minutes ago when I logged in. My partner is away this week and we have just put our dog in kennels to be looked after for a few...
|
hopefortoday29
|
2
|
569
|
|
|
|
|
Hope for Today June 16
(Preview)
Good Morning Everybody: Today's reading is about Step Five -- for the writer, how difficult to was to admit God, self and others the exact nature of his/her wrongs. The writer talks of a sense of shame about admitting the defects that turned up when they took their inventory. I was so fortunate in tha...
|
yanksfan51
|
3
|
547
|
|
|
|
|
My kid and I are a packaged deal!
(Preview)
My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh? I have a 14 year old son. When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously..... my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house. I did not realize the extent of the dis...
|
Koko
|
6
|
722
|
|
|
|
|
BLAH!!!
(Preview)
What is wrong with my brain anyway? LOL. Just found out I may NOT be homeless and MAY be able to purchase a home... and immediately my head starting ruminating over all the failed financial endeavors my AH has gotten himself into. Then I let the fear slip in - like well, if he has another relapse, or does...
|
LedfootJenny
|
2
|
544
|
|
|
|
|
Feeling extremely anxious lately
(Preview)
I am wondering if I feel anxious partly from not posting here as often. My AH filed bankruptcy so the house is not foreclosing yet. When I mention to him he hasn't helped me support our daughter, he claims he has "saved" the house by filing bakruptcy...knstead of giving me any money for our da...
|
Newlife girl
|
7
|
653
|
|
|
|
|
Love my new life :-)
(Preview)
I am so grateful and happy and just love my new life. It took five long years of pulling things together but it was so worth it
Wishing you all joy and happiness on your journey
|
Truth
|
5
|
486
|
|
|
|
|
Life saving program
(Preview)
my thoughts this morning were automatically on the life saving program we have been so freely given. if I was to answer what was the best gift anyone ever gave me it would have to be the steps. my gratitude to my Higher Power and the people can't be expressed more. my thinking has changed from constant com...
|
Quakeroat
|
3
|
473
|
|
|
|
|
Courage to Change 6/15
(Preview)
Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer. The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring...
|
Iamhere
|
4
|
527
|
|
|
|
|
Letting Go and Using … J.A.D.E.
(Preview)
When AH gets nasty and argumentative and goes into what I call the Dr. Jekyll routine, I have found that the most useful Al-Anon tool to use to say no is: J.A.D.E.You do not need to:JustifyArgueDefendExplainIt is the disease, not you or them that is creating the chaos. The ability to DETACH with love...
|
Debb
|
2
|
528
|
|
|
|
|
The Seduction
(Preview)
My wife asked me to write a poem for her recovery group to read at a poetry reading I came up with this, it's not a poem really but I think it conveys what I've seen' Can I get some feedback if this is appropriate or not? The Seduction Day One: Hi good looking, nice to meet you. I see you're worried, tired, y...
|
jamky
|
8
|
750
|
|
|
|
|
Dilemma of Recovery
(Preview)
The last 8 months have brought both my AW and I to our own respective recoveries. We are both working our programs, and doing a good job of staying on our side of the street. I'm staying out of her program ... and she out of mine. The dillema, at least as I percieve it today, is that in working our own progr...
|
Dave2554
|
15
|
990
|
|
|
|
|
C2C 6-14
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 14 continues the discussion on the Steps so that it offers some powerful insights into the 12th Step. The reading points out that after completing the Steps we realize what a wonderful gift the program truly is. It offers us an understanding of the disease, the tools to change o...
|
hotrod
|
7
|
579
|
|
|
|
|
Grief or WHAT?
(Preview)
My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...
|
Koko
|
22
|
828
|
|
|
|
|
My thoughts on being LGBT in al-anon
(Preview)
I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...
|
missmeliss
|
6
|
1458
|
|
|
|
|
C2C 6-13
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...
|
hotrod
|
8
|
716
|
|
|
|
|
Resentful toward exAH
(Preview)
It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...
|
texasgal
|
6
|
660
|
|
|
|
|
A sobering performance
(Preview)
Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...
|
almostThere
|
11
|
886
|
|
|
|
|
The 4 M’s - Step 4
(Preview)
This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...
|
Debb
|
7
|
3143
|
|
|
|
|
My son is back on track
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...
|
chelsea girl 24
|
2
|
462
|
|
|
|
|
He's in recovery...sort of
(Preview)
So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...
|
Smiley99
|
3
|
768
|
|
|
|
|
A Quick study then off to work
(Preview)
Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...
|
almostThere
|
7
|
727
|
|
|
|
|
For you....
(Preview)
|
el-cee
|
3
|
586
|
|
|
|
|
Detachment ... One Day At A Time
(Preview)
DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...
|
Debb
|
11
|
1824
|
|
|
|
|
baby steps.
(Preview)
hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting
|
madisonnw
|
4
|
629
|
|
|
|
|
Acting like nothing happened...
(Preview)
My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...
|
Bethany66
|
15
|
753
|
|
|
|
|
C2C 6-12
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...
|
hotrod
|
2
|
581
|
|
|
|
|
spousal relationship success stories?
(Preview)
Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.
|
almostThere
|
12
|
863
|
|
|
|
|
This morning I was grateful for Grands Cinnabon Rolls
(Preview)
I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...
|
almostThere
|
2
|
475
|
|
|
|
|
First real vacation in 20 years...wish us luck!!!
(Preview)
Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...
|
Doingmybest
|
4
|
631
|
|
|
|
|
HA! Kids say I said the darnest things!
(Preview)
My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...
|
almostThere
|
7
|
694
|
|
|
|
|
My Freedom
(Preview)
"My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}
|
Debb
|
3
|
467
|
|
|
|
|
first post.
(Preview)
struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...
|
madisonnw
|
8
|
694
|
|
|
|
|
met someone, another alcoholic!!!!!
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Ive been dating for a few weeks now and its been fun. Ive met a couple of guys i hit it off with. Ive been chatting to a guy for a while now, hes pretty cheeky, forward, flirty, funny. We met up and hit it off and saw each other every day almost for the last couple of weeks. Very early days but i quite like him. The...
|
el-cee
|
45
|
1706
|
|
|
|
|
CODA and AL-ANON..?
(Preview)
I was invited to a CODA meeting by a dear friend, who feels I would get a lot out of it. Is CODA part of or associated in any way with Al-Anon? What are its pros and cons? Thanks for any feedback!
|
SpookyMulder
|
7
|
731
|
|
|
|
|
C2C 6-11
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today, June 11 speaks about Step Nine. This Step asks that we; "make direct amends to those we have harmed" . These are the people that we identified in Step Eight. The reading suggests that if we have worked Step Eight, and become truly willing to make amends, HP will p...
|
hotrod
|
6
|
696
|
|
|
|
|
Al-Anon Armor ON....
(Preview)
Hello Family.... Still Feeling a Bit Battered from Yesterday, but I have decided to Pull up the Big Girl Pants and Accessorize... So Today I have On My Ring that says (ALL things are Possible thru He who Strengthens Me), My "How Important is It?" Bracelet... and My "Hope, Faith, &...
|
Jozie
|
3
|
633
|
|
|
|
|
How do I stop worrying
(Preview)
I am taking our girls for a two week trip while my husband works overtime. He has a drinking problem and is dealing with it by not drinking. A few weeks ago he was three days short of two months without alcohol. I was so proud of him for going such a long stretch and then I felt so upset that it came to an end. He i...
|
Alma Daigle
|
7
|
1189
|
|
|
|
|
not emotionally balanced
(Preview)
Hi friends-Most days I do pretty well with coping, using my alanon tools, not getting dragged down into the old stuff, but I guess there is just too much stress right now for me to do well. And yes, this is just for today because I know tomorrow will probably be better. I felt like reaching out to you guys...
|
Lyne
|
4
|
627
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not myself- here's a rant ugh!
(Preview)
I've not felt like the best version of myself the last few days, worries about things I can't control- I'm not really present. There are several things going on I'll mention one at this time. I think my feelings are about my lack of ability to navigate social situations, when to stand up for myself and...
|
glad
|
4
|
691
|
|
|
|
|
Waiting on the Last String to SNAP....
(Preview)
Hey Family ... Just Feeling Deflated today... Not Sure if it is just Life In General or if Something will Surface in the Sharing but at this Point I'm Willing to at Least Try Something.... As Some Know I found my AGram 3 yrs ago and she had a Stroke on Mothers Day.. Today she is Thank God still with Me, and soo...
|
Jozie
|
6
|
808
|
|
|
|
|
Recovery
(Preview)
For the last 4 years, ever since I met my A I've been hoping and hoping he'd get better. We got engaged almost 2 years ago and I just kept putting it off telling him that it wouldn't happen until he got better. 2 weeks ago I left the country as a last ditch effort to make him see that he needs help. And as of today...
|
OhCanadia
|
6
|
532
|
|
|
|
|
Husband or Roommate
(Preview)
I get that my AH is working through his program and I hope for nothing more than the best for him as he navigates these uncharted waters, but where is my husband when I need him? We have three children who need to be cared for, loved, and guided. My husband has become completely hands off. He even goes as fa...
|
EarlyBird
|
9
|
819
|
|
