Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PaulF · PaulF

So finally after eight weeks she called. As I thought it wasn't good. She'd been locked in a house for several days and she'd been beaten. Sounds horrific. What I'm beating myself up for was I was so preoccupied about how hurt I'd felt it was hard to be compassionate. She didn't ask for it to happen. Whe...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, so I need some advice about how to use program here. My son is 16 and old enough to learn how to handle his dad when he is required to spend time with him. I took my son to his first Al Anon meeting tonight and we talked about his father's drinking. Turns out there were things I didn't know, which I kind o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Happy birthday and thank you for the amazing and selfless work you do. You are my biggest inspiration and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 31 asks that we really think about and use the slogan:"Living one day at a time". It points out that when we take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it a lot more gets done. The reminder suggests that when we catch ourselves feeling o...

creatvepro · creatvepro

I have been attending Al-anon meetings for about 4 months now so I still consider myself relatively new. I hear some really sad and terrifying stories in my meetings and I sit there and think "my situation was so much different". My addict (family member) is in long-term recovery now and he...

PaulF · PaulF

Apologies for my overuse of this forum!

Italylover23 · Italylover23

Hi All, I am new to Ala-non and addiction somewhat as well. My sister is in recovery for 3 years but somehow now having an AH is a whole new ballgame. I guess it's the difference with living with the addict versus not. Anyway, my AH's "secret" was just found by me. He just spent 12 days (not nearl...

rainbow · rainbow

Many times have i wanted to reach out here but not feLt brave enough or worthy enough when i can see you have your own problems to deal with and there are so few of you always giving your time and precious support to those in need and I feel guilty drawing on your energy and time when i should be able to help m...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I do have to laugh we all got home however it was something. Spent the night at the airport I could have stood up a little more and probably gotten them to cover the hotel expense however .. you know it just wasn't worth it. LOL .. plus I figured well small airlines it's not like they are all going to talk to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

and I mean well however good grief ... I really set myself up to be my own worst enemy. Today I'm suppose to fly out and pick the kids up. I booked tickets ohhh way long ago like in June. I got to the airport just to check .. gotta love small towns I can just fly in and out at a whim Anyway .. same crazy lady I had...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, July 30( my birthday incidentally), speaks about making a serious commitment to our recovery and that "finding happiness" is an inside job. It points out that we often are committed to happiness and working the program but at the first sign of trouble we abandon...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, i havent posted in awhile, id like to say its cuz im doing ok. .Which for the most part is true. But i realize staying away isnt good. Ive taken a new job. Working in a mental health clinic ft and summers as opposed to my former school job. the environment and peopke are FAR better. . Being away from hom...

almostThere · almostThere

Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was s...

Mattie · Mattie

I am trying with all my might to use my program tools and conduct my relationships in new healthier ways - but my emotions are scared as heck. One thing I've realized is that I typically have had a partner and friends who are not very sympathetic when things are hard. My parents were pretty dismissive of...

littlelionman · littlelionman

It just hit me. I have a fair amount going on...I share custody of 2 young kids that I'm present and engaged with, I'm navigating the emotions of divorce, drafted a legal separation mostly on my own, got our house repaired and under contract (fingers crossed the sale goes through), am getting my finan...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

Hi all, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is an alcoholic an alcoholic before they ever start drinking, and can behaviors/thought processes that occur earlier in the alcoholic's life be a result of the disease? My AH was talking to me the other night about some thought processes and behaviors that he...

PaulF · PaulF

Ok - first meeting done. Glad I did it. Felt comfortable and had a good safe place with which to share and identify. I'll certainly keep coming back. Naturally part of this is trying to understand my own actions in the situation with her. Sometimes I feel inadequate, sometimes I feel I'm losing my san...

el-cee · el-cee

Im struggling with a newish shortcoming recently, patience. What is it and how do i get it? What tools do i need? What causes impatience?

andromeda · andromeda

I left my bf's house last night in a foul mood and I know it had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with me. He was teasing me about the fact that I needed to go home and take care of my dog instead of spending the night with him and giving me a hard time. I know he was only kidding but I felt a bit put off:...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I made it to my class today, a little late so I had to squeeze in to a seat between 2 other ladies. One of them is a lovely smiling soul that I have sat with in classes before. The other was an older lady I've not met before who gave me a really dirty look when I sat down, enough to make me wonder if I'd forgotten to...

el-cee · el-cee

...just in case you were missing me. Im not recovered yet, all better!!! Haha, i wish, still affected by alcoholism, always will be. A lifelong member of this freedom programme, i love so much. Its given me new elements of freedom. First freedom from the addiction of alcoholics and dysfunction, mise...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I kicked my ah out of the house. He has been coming to visit my daughter and is charming one minute and then whamo. He says he can only say sorry so much and that I keep nagging him and wanting him to feel bad. I have been going back and forth with him every since When I have seen him, he makes a quick face of he is s...

PaulF · PaulF

Ok. Preparing for first Al-Anon meeting tonight. All I can say is I'm looking forward to it. I feel so impotent at the moment so I'm relieved I'm facing up to some pretty unpleasant feelings. I'm glad I found this board and over the last few days they have provided me with some small comfort. It's still so...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for July 29 reinforces the fact that Al-Anon is a spiritual program and not a religious one. It points out that spirituality doesn't have to imply a particular philosophy or moral code. In alanon the principle of Spirituality simply means that we believe there is a Po...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So many new things are coming into my life just lately. I blame al-anon! I'm excited today. Daughter was sick and stayed home from school. (That wasn't the exciting bit, don't worry). I couldn't concentrate on my work with her chatter and the TV playing all day so instead I had one of those days where you...

ChamHam · ChamHam

My sister and I have always been best friends. We are a year apart and are adult women. Today, she went to her first AA meeting. I'm so incredibly proud of her... I didn't really think about how far her drinking had gotten but she has always been really wild when she drinks. She has a hard time maintaining c...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- today's reading talks about sponsorship. It is the story of a young person who did not have alateen available to her, so was encouraged to attend alanon. She then asked for a sponsor and the sponsor tells how much she gained in working through the steps and program with her youn...

Quakeroat · Quakeroat

thank God for life changing honesty my local meeting is helping to make me see the need daily to practice this program every day of my life. my feelings may get hurt " just for today" but I will try not to show it. i worked through hurt feelings and overcame a terrible thought I had about my hermi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And the insanity that goes with it. How can one person do so much damage when they have only text 3x in a 5 week period to their kids? That is a redundant question do not answer that one .. lol. Oi. So I'm trying to figure out how to keep the focus on me and what is happening currently which is a move. First...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

I'm new to the forums. Brief intro, I've been with my A for 4 years now, married for almost 2. I didn't even begin to suspect he might have a problem with alcohol until a couple of months before we got married, and even then I thought he'd just fallen into a bad habit, so we talked about it and agreed to cut bac...

Jacklynn · Jacklynn

Hello everyone! I might be new to this forum but I am definitely not new to being the daughter of an alcoholic mother. I think I am ready to cut all ties with my mother after 18 years of dealing with her crap. Heres my story. Please advise me as I have been going back and forth with the issue of finally sa...

PaulF · PaulF

firstly - my heartfelt thanks for all the responses yesterday. I'm getting some good perspective. A question that is on my mind a lot is the best way to communicate with the addict. I'm not looking for answers - just other people's experience. I like the notion of responding and not reacting. In my own c...

PaulF · PaulF

Bear with me - this is painful In brief - I'm an alcoholic with 15 months sobriety. I met a charming woman when I was in rehab. Nothing happened when we were there but we stayed in contact when she left in January. We admitted we had feelings for each other but what I didn't know was she'd relapsed soon aft...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Today I'm suppose to be doing the grownup thing .. I'm sort of doing that I am sending out resume's at the moment. Well, here I sit at Starbucks and I'm eaves dropping on a conversation between two very attractive women and one of them had kids. I couldn't tell at first. As a woman I am always shocked bec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 27 speaks about the words from the; "Al-Anon suggested closing" This statement , is truly gold and reminds us to "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another." The reading then goes on to explain that we need to leave our judgmental attitudes at t...

almostThere · almostThere

There's a big horsefly that's been hanging around my porch. He buzzes around me every now and then, and I swat at him. He hasn't bitten me (yet). I was sitting for a minute, taking a break and working a little al-anon when he landed on the railing near me. I had my flip-flop poised to squash him. I starte...

almostThere · almostThere

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alc...

Stevie75 · Stevie75

Hi everyone, first post from a fairly desperate guy! My wife has been drinking on and off now for three years and over the past two / three months it's been every day. I've been reading up on topics such as how I should be dealing with this, and it turns out that I've recognised that my behaviour (losing my t...

Jozie · Jozie

So Today was a Typical Over Reacted Morning from my AH, Trying My Best not to Jump on "HIS" Crazy Train...lol I went out last night with some Al-Anon Ladies, for Dinner and a Swim, and didn't get home till almost 11pm ;) I had a Wonderful time, and the fellowship was amazing ;) There was a Lady...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am visiting in-laws this weekend. Instead of being pleasant and relaxing, it's been stressful, tense, and drama filled. There are dynamics that are so crazy it's making my head spin. It does directly relate to damage from alcoholism and fallout from former allegiences and past abuse from my husb...

Holly09 · Holly09

The insanity roller coaster was at a lul for a long time until a couple of months ago, then at a lul again until this weekend and now I'm so angry that I can't tell if it's more at him or myself! I used to have to lock up certain meds my sons adderall and any narcotics that were prescribed to anyone other than t...

Holly09 · Holly09

A couple of months ago I told my A fiance he had to leave after a really long dry spell we had a night from hell (yet again) I told him when he came back and we talked (my aspergers 11 yr old had a breakdown and ended up in the er) if he was going to live here he was going to have to be sober I wasn't living like this 12...

DistantObserver · DistantObserver

Ever since I can remember, my mom would sleep the daylight away, secluding herself to her room. I was 14 years old, sitting alone in the living room watching TV. I never thought it was abnormal that my mom wasn't involved in my life the way she should have been. I thought it was normal. I grew up without g...

Braavos · Braavos

Hello everyone. I'm new to the Al Anon forum. My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 4 years, we also have a 16 month old son. My husband has always been a problem drinker, he always overdid it and every social event or occasion inevitably resulted in him drinking, usu...

oceanpine · oceanpine

This is a very confusing time. I have been out of my house for 2 weeks. My 10 and 12 yr old sons our at home with him. I have no idea if he is drinking but at least they are all just at home, not really going anywhere. I have had a strong desire to not be in the same house with him for at least 14 months - since he first...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Abf turned up here late Wednesday night. Surprisingly he didn't walk right in but stood on the doorstep, handed me my long-lost bag, and told me "I came to give your bag back. I'd love to come in and see you but if you don't want me here, I'll turn around and go home and no hard feelings, I'll just tell y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 26 speaks about identifying illusions that can make our lives unmanageable. One of the illusions. that the meditation speaks about is that we act" as if" we have the power to control others--. once we accept. our powerlessness-as is suggested in the fir...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I wish I could bring Al-Anon to my family, certain friends. I have gotten so much good peace and contentment from having it in my life I wish I could share it with people and help them achieve it as well. Visiting my family I sat back and cringed at the way people who care about each other miscommunicated, i...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 25. speaks about the anger, resentments, self-pity ,and guilt that we carry about within us. prior to finding Al-Anon. The reading suggests that by working the Al-Anon program the answer became apparent--." We lacked courage to validate ourselves" If w...

mjferg · mjferg

I am a neat freak,a perfectionist and a little obsessive about my house.The first thing I do when I move into a new place is make it pretty.I can't stand clutter and chaos,it actually makes me physically anxious.The problem is I ran out of time on the house I bought and we had to move in early.So I am livin...

nightlight · nightlight

My boyfriend is a binge drinker alcoholic (as opposed to a daily drinker alcoholic, i guess). He just told me this in an email. We're on a break right now because of his drinking. We've been together for 2 years and we frequently would hang out and drink together. I would have 3 or 4 and stop, but he would ke...

Starting Again · Starting Again

It's been over a year since I have posted here but nothing much has changed. My husband is still drinking and hiding it (not very well). I have had to set some boundaries, keep the bottles in the garage away from the kids, I don't want him to ever drive with kids in the car (he's had 1 dui that he thinks is a flu...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I'm a bit of a wild spirit sometimes free sometimes wild sometimes both .. I did have a lovely young man tell me I was someone who was unforgettable and that got proven the other night .. LOL! I took off to St Louis the other night it was a cheap flight, I was meeting a girlfriend of mine who flew in on busine...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly I will summarize my yesterday. I had a real birthday yesterday! What I really mean is an unreal birthday. I spent all day w/ my AH. We ate,shopped & saw a movie. Come to think of it my dad & step mom pretty much did the same when they could especially when I was younger. That was a side note. A...

Paradigm · Paradigm

Hello everyone, My wife who previously had an addiction problem before we met and went through the program to get clean 15 years ago started drinking a few years ago. It has slowly progressed into a serious problem and I am pretty new to understanding this and trying to get her help. With some help from h...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Well, I am going to be Clinical Director of an adult rehab after a year and a half of being director of a program for Juvenile Delinquents. Obviously a big raise but it's anxiety provoking. It is mostly just change. It is going to be a stressful transition. Short staffed where I am at and also where I am go...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A MUST READ :The Awakening~~ The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a ch...

Kekelle · Kekelle

My husband and I have been together since high school - 24 years. Married almost 20. Have 3 amazing kids. And he has been an alcoholic since I met him. After years of begging, pleading, threatening everything I could think of, I reached the end of my rope. I threw out one more life preserver to him an...

Flower49 · Flower49

Saturday was the last day of marriage counseling. Our counselor was incredible and awesome and no words can ever express my gratitude. I had some angst with leaving his care, but I know if I use all tools available to me, it will be just fine. Strange to think we finished because at this time last year my A...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 24. speaks about the 11th step--praying for the knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry it out. It suggests that doing. HP's will does not mean that we do something spectacular every day., but that we stay present in our lives . Listening to the small voice within and th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My alcoholic got back in contact (Preview) So finally after eight weeks she called. As I thought it wasn't good. She'd been locked in a house for several days and she'd been beaten. Sounds horrific. What I'm beating myself up for was I was so preoccupied about how hurt I'd felt it was hard to be compassionate. She didn't ask for it to happen. Whe...	PaulF	9	490	Aug 1, 2015 by missmeliss
	XAH drinking around our son (Preview) Ok, so I need some advice about how to use program here. My son is 16 and old enough to learn how to handle his dad when he is required to spend time with him. I took my son to his first Al Anon meeting tonight and we talked about his father's drinking. Turns out there were things I didn't know, which I kind o...	andromeda	5	390	Aug 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Happy Birthday Betty!! (Preview) Happy birthday and thank you for the amazing and selfless work you do. You are my biggest inspiration and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!	missmeliss	22	843	Aug 1, 2015 by Quakeroat
	C2C 7 31 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 31 asks that we really think about and use the slogan:"Living one day at a time". It points out that when we take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it a lot more gets done. The reminder suggests that when we catch ourselves feeling o...	hotrod	8	683	Jul 31, 2015 by Debb
	New to Al-anon (Preview) I have been attending Al-anon meetings for about 4 months now so I still consider myself relatively new. I hear some really sad and terrifying stories in my meetings and I sit there and think "my situation was so much different". My addict (family member) is in long-term recovery now and he...	creatvepro	8	737	Jul 31, 2015 by creatvepro
	Thank you (Preview) Apologies for my overuse of this forum!	PaulF	5	473	Jul 31, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hi All, I am new here. (Preview) Hi All, I am new to Ala-non and addiction somewhat as well. My sister is in recovery for 3 years but somehow now having an AH is a whole new ballgame. I guess it's the difference with living with the addict versus not. Anyway, my AH's "secret" was just found by me. He just spent 12 days (not nearl...	Italylover23	7	710	Jul 31, 2015 by Jerry F
	Heart shattered (Preview) Many times have i wanted to reach out here but not feLt brave enough or worthy enough when i can see you have your own problems to deal with and there are so few of you always giving your time and precious support to those in need and I feel guilty drawing on your energy and time when i should be able to help m...	rainbow	14	826	Jul 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Different perspective .. (Preview) I do have to laugh we all got home however it was something. Spent the night at the airport I could have stood up a little more and probably gotten them to cover the hotel expense however .. you know it just wasn't worth it. LOL .. plus I figured well small airlines it's not like they are all going to talk to...	SerenityRUS	2	640	Jul 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	My own worst enemy .. (Preview) and I mean well however good grief ... I really set myself up to be my own worst enemy. Today I'm suppose to fly out and pick the kids up. I booked tickets ohhh way long ago like in June. I got to the airport just to check .. gotta love small towns I can just fly in and out at a whim Anyway .. same crazy lady I had...	SerenityRUS	7	691	Jul 30, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	C2C 7-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, July 30( my birthday incidentally), speaks about making a serious commitment to our recovery and that "finding happiness" is an inside job. It points out that we often are committed to happiness and working the program but at the first sign of trouble we abandon...	hotrod	4	532	Jul 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	havent been here in awhile. . need tlc (Preview) Well, i havent posted in awhile, id like to say its cuz im doing ok. .Which for the most part is true. But i realize staying away isnt good. Ive taken a new job. Working in a mental health clinic ft and summers as opposed to my former school job. the environment and peopke are FAR better. . Being away from hom...	Theoceancalls	5	775	Jul 30, 2015 by Debb
	A BAD Mutha - Shut your mouth! (Preview) Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was s...	almostThere	5	710	Jul 29, 2015 by missmeliss
	Oh the emotions! (Preview) I am trying with all my might to use my program tools and conduct my relationships in new healthier ways - but my emotions are scared as heck. One thing I've realized is that I typically have had a partner and friends who are not very sympathetic when things are hard. My parents were pretty dismissive of...	Mattie	17	837	Jul 29, 2015 by andromeda
	I'm so calm. (Preview) It just hit me. I have a fair amount going on...I share custody of 2 young kids that I'm present and engaged with, I'm navigating the emotions of divorce, drafted a legal separation mostly on my own, got our house repaired and under contract (fingers crossed the sale goes through), am getting my finan...	littlelionman	15	923	Jul 29, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Does the disease affect behavior even before alcohol ever enters the picture? (Preview) Hi all, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is an alcoholic an alcoholic before they ever start drinking, and can behaviors/thought processes that occur earlier in the alcoholic's life be a result of the disease? My AH was talking to me the other night about some thought processes and behaviors that he...	RealitySucker	7	682	Jul 29, 2015 by Jozie
	First meeting! (Preview) Ok - first meeting done. Glad I did it. Felt comfortable and had a good safe place with which to share and identify. I'll certainly keep coming back. Naturally part of this is trying to understand my own actions in the situation with her. Sometimes I feel inadequate, sometimes I feel I'm losing my san...	PaulF	4	490	Jul 29, 2015 by Jerry F
	help me get patience please, quickly.x (Preview) Im struggling with a newish shortcoming recently, patience. What is it and how do i get it? What tools do i need? What causes impatience?	el-cee	3	534	Jul 29, 2015 by hotrod
	HALT: I'm in a foul mood (Preview) I left my bf's house last night in a foul mood and I know it had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with me. He was teasing me about the fact that I needed to go home and take care of my dog instead of spending the night with him and giving me a hard time. I know he was only kidding but I felt a bit put off:...	andromeda	9	790	Jul 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Needed all my tools today! (Preview) I made it to my class today, a little late so I had to squeeze in to a seat between 2 other ladies. One of them is a lovely smiling soul that I have sat with in classes before. The other was an older lady I've not met before who gave me a really dirty look when I sat down, enough to make me wonder if I'd forgotten to...	missmeliss	9	700	Jul 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	im still here... (Preview) ...just in case you were missing me. Im not recovered yet, all better!!! Haha, i wish, still affected by alcoholism, always will be. A lifelong member of this freedom programme, i love so much. Its given me new elements of freedom. First freedom from the addiction of alcoholics and dysfunction, mise...	el-cee	9	665	Jul 29, 2015 by el-cee
	I'm sorry from a 9 day sober ah (Preview) I kicked my ah out of the house. He has been coming to visit my daughter and is charming one minute and then whamo. He says he can only say sorry so much and that I keep nagging him and wanting him to feel bad. I have been going back and forth with him every since When I have seen him, he makes a quick face of he is s...	Helpangel	7	643	Jul 29, 2015 by maryjane
	First meeting tonight (Preview) Ok. Preparing for first Al-Anon meeting tonight. All I can say is I'm looking forward to it. I feel so impotent at the moment so I'm relieved I'm facing up to some pretty unpleasant feelings. I'm glad I found this board and over the last few days they have provided me with some small comfort. It's still so...	PaulF	5	571	Jul 29, 2015 by PaulF
	C2C 7-29 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for July 29 reinforces the fact that Al-Anon is a spiritual program and not a religious one. It points out that spirituality doesn't have to imply a particular philosophy or moral code. In alanon the principle of Spirituality simply means that we believe there is a Po...	hotrod	2	629	Jul 29, 2015 by Debb
	Cool happenings :-) (Preview) So many new things are coming into my life just lately. I blame al-anon! I'm excited today. Daughter was sick and stayed home from school. (That wasn't the exciting bit, don't worry). I couldn't concentrate on my work with her chatter and the TV playing all day so instead I had one of those days where you...	missmeliss	8	527	Jul 29, 2015 by Sweet Stanley
	My sister went to her first meeting today... (Preview) My sister and I have always been best friends. We are a year apart and are adult women. Today, she went to her first AA meeting. I'm so incredibly proud of her... I didn't really think about how far her drinking had gotten but she has always been really wild when she drinks. She has a hard time maintaining c...	ChamHam	12	782	Jul 28, 2015 by Debb
	Hope for Today July 28 (Preview) good morning everyone- today's reading talks about sponsorship. It is the story of a young person who did not have alateen available to her, so was encouraged to attend alanon. She then asked for a sponsor and the sponsor tells how much she gained in working through the steps and program with her youn...	yanksfan51	2	537	Jul 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	I need daily therapy to keep me mentally emotionally and spiritually well (Preview) thank God for life changing honesty my local meeting is helping to make me see the need daily to practice this program every day of my life. my feelings may get hurt " just for today" but I will try not to show it. i worked through hurt feelings and overcame a terrible thought I had about my hermi...	Quakeroat	3	613	Jul 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to commuinicate with an A (Preview) And the insanity that goes with it. How can one person do so much damage when they have only text 3x in a 5 week period to their kids? That is a redundant question do not answer that one .. lol. Oi. So I'm trying to figure out how to keep the focus on me and what is happening currently which is a move. First...	SerenityRUS	5	751	Jul 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Why do you stay with your active A? (Preview) I'm new to the forums. Brief intro, I've been with my A for 4 years now, married for almost 2. I didn't even begin to suspect he might have a problem with alcohol until a couple of months before we got married, and even then I thought he'd just fallen into a bad habit, so we talked about it and agreed to cut bac...	RealitySucker	17	754	Jul 28, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Hi, Im new here - need advice ASAP (Preview) Hello everyone! I might be new to this forum but I am definitely not new to being the daughter of an alcoholic mother. I think I am ready to cut all ties with my mother after 18 years of dealing with her crap. Heres my story. Please advise me as I have been going back and forth with the issue of finally sa...	Jacklynn	9	863	Jul 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Communication with the addict (Preview) firstly - my heartfelt thanks for all the responses yesterday. I'm getting some good perspective. A question that is on my mind a lot is the best way to communicate with the addict. I'm not looking for answers - just other people's experience. I like the notion of responding and not reacting. In my own c...	PaulF	11	647	Jul 28, 2015 by PaulF
	First post - help! (Preview) Bear with me - this is painful In brief - I'm an alcoholic with 15 months sobriety. I met a charming woman when I was in rehab. Nothing happened when we were there but we stayed in contact when she left in January. We admitted we had feelings for each other but what I didn't know was she'd relapsed soon aft...	PaulF	15	722	Jul 28, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Undervaluing me .. (Preview) Today I'm suppose to be doing the grownup thing .. I'm sort of doing that I am sending out resume's at the moment. Well, here I sit at Starbucks and I'm eaves dropping on a conversation between two very attractive women and one of them had kids. I couldn't tell at first. As a woman I am always shocked bec...	SerenityRUS	5	617	Jul 28, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	C2C 7-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 27 speaks about the words from the; "Al-Anon suggested closing" This statement , is truly gold and reminds us to "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another." The reading then goes on to explain that we need to leave our judgmental attitudes at t...	hotrod	7	564	Jul 28, 2015 by Quakeroat
	Dennis (Preview) There's a big horsefly that's been hanging around my porch. He buzzes around me every now and then, and I swat at him. He hasn't bitten me (yet). I was sitting for a minute, taking a break and working a little al-anon when he landed on the railing near me. I had my flip-flop poised to squash him. I starte...	almostThere	5	541	Jul 27, 2015 by Jozie
	The 8,000,000,000 Steps of Al-Anon (Preview) 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alc...	almostThere	8	632	Jul 27, 2015 by littlelionman
	Enabling (Preview) Hi everyone, first post from a fairly desperate guy! My wife has been drinking on and off now for three years and over the past two / three months it's been every day. I've been reading up on topics such as how I should be dealing with this, and it turns out that I've recognised that my behaviour (losing my t...	Stevie75	10	773	Jul 27, 2015 by Debb
	Trying to Resist the Crazy Train... (Preview) So Today was a Typical Over Reacted Morning from my AH, Trying My Best not to Jump on "HIS" Crazy Train...lol I went out last night with some Al-Anon Ladies, for Dinner and a Swim, and didn't get home till almost 11pm ;) I had a Wonderful time, and the fellowship was amazing ;) There was a Lady...	Jozie	14	704	Jul 27, 2015 by Debb
	In-laws (Preview) I am visiting in-laws this weekend. Instead of being pleasant and relaxing, it's been stressful, tense, and drama filled. There are dynamics that are so crazy it's making my head spin. It does directly relate to damage from alcoholism and fallout from former allegiences and past abuse from my husb...	pinkchip	10	903	Jul 27, 2015 by hotrod
	The insanity roller coaster (Preview) The insanity roller coaster was at a lul for a long time until a couple of months ago, then at a lul again until this weekend and now I'm so angry that I can't tell if it's more at him or myself! I used to have to lock up certain meds my sons adderall and any narcotics that were prescribed to anyone other than t...	Holly09	6	544	Jul 27, 2015 by Jozie
	Set my boundaries and being tested (Preview) A couple of months ago I told my A fiance he had to leave after a really long dry spell we had a night from hell (yet again) I told him when he came back and we talked (my aspergers 11 yr old had a breakdown and ended up in the er) if he was going to live here he was going to have to be sober I wasn't living like this 12...	Holly09	10	874	Jul 27, 2015 by The1975jen
	How do I let go? (Preview) Ever since I can remember, my mom would sleep the daylight away, secluding herself to her room. I was 14 years old, sitting alone in the living room watching TV. I never thought it was abnormal that my mom wasn't involved in my life the way she should have been. I thought it was normal. I grew up without g...	DistantObserver	6	653	Jul 27, 2015 by Jozie
	He has relapsed. Again. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new to the Al Anon forum. My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 4 years, we also have a 16 month old son. My husband has always been a problem drinker, he always overdid it and every social event or occasion inevitably resulted in him drinking, usu...	Braavos	4	589	Jul 27, 2015 by pinkchip
	He won't move out so I am (Preview) This is a very confusing time. I have been out of my house for 2 weeks. My 10 and 12 yr old sons our at home with him. I have no idea if he is drinking but at least they are all just at home, not really going anywhere. I have had a strong desire to not be in the same house with him for at least 14 months - since he first...	oceanpine	12	707	Jul 26, 2015 by a4l
	An unexpected visit. (Preview) Abf turned up here late Wednesday night. Surprisingly he didn't walk right in but stood on the doorstep, handed me my long-lost bag, and told me "I came to give your bag back. I'd love to come in and see you but if you don't want me here, I'll turn around and go home and no hard feelings, I'll just tell y...	missmeliss	3	440	Jul 26, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 7-26 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 26 speaks about identifying illusions that can make our lives unmanageable. One of the illusions. that the meditation speaks about is that we act" as if" we have the power to control others--. once we accept. our powerlessness-as is suggested in the fir...	hotrod	4	568	Jul 26, 2015 by hotrod
	I wish I could (Preview) I wish I could bring Al-Anon to my family, certain friends. I have gotten so much good peace and contentment from having it in my life I wish I could share it with people and help them achieve it as well. Visiting my family I sat back and cringed at the way people who care about each other miscommunicated, i...	likemyheart	5	625	Jul 26, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 7-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 25. speaks about the anger, resentments, self-pity ,and guilt that we carry about within us. prior to finding Al-Anon. The reading suggests that by working the Al-Anon program the answer became apparent--." We lacked courage to validate ourselves" If w...	hotrod	6	559	Jul 26, 2015 by catlover26
	chaos and anxiety! (Preview) I am a neat freak,a perfectionist and a little obsessive about my house.The first thing I do when I move into a new place is make it pretty.I can't stand clutter and chaos,it actually makes me physically anxious.The problem is I ran out of time on the house I bought and we had to move in early.So I am livin...	mjferg	4	518	Jul 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Newbie here. Should I stay or should I go? (Preview) My boyfriend is a binge drinker alcoholic (as opposed to a daily drinker alcoholic, i guess). He just told me this in an email. We're on a break right now because of his drinking. We've been together for 2 years and we frequently would hang out and drink together. I would have 3 or 4 and stop, but he would ke...	nightlight	13	854	Jul 25, 2015 by tiredtonite
	It never stops (Preview) It's been over a year since I have posted here but nothing much has changed. My husband is still drinking and hiding it (not very well). I have had to set some boundaries, keep the bottles in the garage away from the kids, I don't want him to ever drive with kids in the car (he's had 1 dui that he thinks is a flu...	Starting Again	11	615	Jul 25, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Some funnies .. (Preview) So I'm a bit of a wild spirit sometimes free sometimes wild sometimes both .. I did have a lovely young man tell me I was someone who was unforgettable and that got proven the other night .. LOL! I took off to St Louis the other night it was a cheap flight, I was meeting a girlfriend of mine who flew in on busine...	SerenityRUS	3	560	Jul 24, 2015 by hotrod
	birthday fun & then some... (Preview) Briefly I will summarize my yesterday. I had a real birthday yesterday! What I really mean is an unreal birthday. I spent all day w/ my AH. We ate,shopped & saw a movie. Come to think of it my dad & step mom pretty much did the same when they could especially when I was younger. That was a side note. A...	Hoot Nanny	6	570	Jul 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Looking for help/advice and an interventionist in the NJ area (Preview) Hello everyone, My wife who previously had an addiction problem before we met and went through the program to get clean 15 years ago started drinking a few years ago. It has slowly progressed into a serious problem and I am pretty new to understanding this and trying to get her help. With some help from h...	Paradigm	6	535	Jul 24, 2015 by Yankeerose
	New Job (Preview) Well, I am going to be Clinical Director of an adult rehab after a year and a half of being director of a program for Juvenile Delinquents. Obviously a big raise but it's anxiety provoking. It is mostly just change. It is going to be a stressful transition. Short staffed where I am at and also where I am go...	pinkchip	25	953	Jul 24, 2015 by el-cee
	The Awakening~Author unknown (Preview) A MUST READ :The Awakening~~ The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a ch...	Breakingfree	8	731	Jul 24, 2015 by el-cee
	New to this (Preview) My husband and I have been together since high school - 24 years. Married almost 20. Have 3 amazing kids. And he has been an alcoholic since I met him. After years of begging, pleading, threatening everything I could think of, I reached the end of my rope. I threw out one more life preserver to him an...	Kekelle	11	600	Jul 24, 2015 by Debb
	Graduated Marriage Counseling (Preview) Saturday was the last day of marriage counseling. Our counselor was incredible and awesome and no words can ever express my gratitude. I had some angst with leaving his care, but I know if I use all tools available to me, it will be just fine. Strange to think we finished because at this time last year my A...	Flower49	8	722	Jul 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 7-24 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 24. speaks about the 11th step--praying for the knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry it out. It suggests that doing. HP's will does not mean that we do something spectacular every day., but that we stay present in our lives . Listening to the small voice within and th...	hotrod	3	487	Jul 24, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.