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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The reality when the relationship is probably over
Post Info TOPIC: The reality when the relationship is probably over
catlover26


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The reality when the relationship is probably over
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I posted last night but I still have so much on my mind. It is so hard after 1 1/2 yrs being with my A that I think it could all be over. He really knows me better and I felt sincere love from him more than my ex of 30 yrs. But after 8 mos things started being like a roller coaster. He also has ptsd so I never could tell what kind of mood he would be in.

I think we could probably be friends. Before I met him he basically lived like a loner for 16 yrs. so for both of our sakes it would be nice to spend some time together even if I have to limit it.  He has been sober for 30 yrs so that is not the problem but being sober is only part of the answer. He still does not have inner peace. He says he works on it every day but he would be better if he would start back AA meetings but I don't think he ever will.

I don't know what I will do with my time. But we only spent 2-3 nights a week together. I will continue my Al-Anon meetings but I do not have any family or friends where I live. It is just a hard thing to meet new people. I am just so thankful I started Al-Anon a few months ago because I think I would have been in a panic if this had happened and I had no one to turn to for help and a listening ear.



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Debb


~*Service Worker*~

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It is sad when one comes to realize that in a relationship, it is time

to move on.  Listen to your HP, they know what is right for you.  It

is good that you are in an Al-Anon group and would focus on yourself

and working the 12 steps, because by working the steps it will make

it easier for you to find peace, one day at a time.



-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 19th of July 2015 03:23:56 PM

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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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catlover -

(((Hugs))) to you - prayers and thoughts your way as well.

I wanted to share that most of my true friends now a days are program people. It's a safe place to test friendships and social outings and see what works well. I am a better fit with some than others, and that's OK - I'm not wanting to be queen of a social club. But having folks to call for a cry or a laugh or a meal is yet another gift this program has given me.

Just wanted to share that it's been a great place for me to add to my friend list. Hang in there and I agree with Debb - listen to your HP - he will guide you where you need to go!

Keep posting - we're here for you!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
catlover26


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Posts: 50
Date:
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Iamhere,

Thanks for your post! My f2f group is small so I don't know if I will develop any actual friends but maybe. But it is such a comfort to now have some people that I have something in common with that are always there to talk to and relate to. I spent too much time isolating myself and spending my time with my A boyfriend. And the grief I was going through after my divorce just made me want to stay at home and not get out to meet people.



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