Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...

joker · joker

Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...

LinSC · LinSC

Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...

LinSC · LinSC

when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...

lookingup · lookingup

I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu

jiff · jiff

Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...

bigsmitty · bigsmitty

Hi, somewhat new to alanon (call it four months) and 4 years into aa. Attend about 3 aa meetings a week and one alanon. I have been able to find lots of aa literature online and am looking for direction into a central site for alanon literature. Thanks, aa has done wonders and alanon is helping lots as well...

El · El

This isn't directly related to alcohol, but we know that the program can help in all areas of our lives. I am so irked at someone's response or lack of one that I am trying to decide if my motives were selfish or the other person was just plain rude. See, now the program is making me examine my own behavior...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 15 speaks about entering Al-Anon and discovering the warmth and caring found within the rooms. It points out the people in Al-Anon have learned a non judgmental patient way of life and even though you don't like their hugs and walk away,they keep inviting us come back , They r...

andromeda · andromeda

I PM'd a few of my personal friends here at MIP but I thought I would throw this out to the group and ask for some words of support and wisdom. My bf and I will be living together soon and his ex-wife just now decided to say something about her concerns: specifically about her 2 young girls living with my 17 ye...

joker · joker

The images of the alcoholic drinking and the violence I experienced keeps going through my mind over and over again. I hate alcohol so much right now and how it has destroyed my life and my home. I keep thinking omg, omg, he had put a steak knife to my neck, and was screaming and screaming at me and calling m...

RKTreats · RKTreats

I posted on here last night about my beginnings in this Al-Anon journey. I've been very anxious because now that my Abf is working on getting sober (30 days), attending AA meetings regularly and going through OP rehab counseling, he seems to be pushing me away so he can work on himself. He is trying to co...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 9 posted to the: Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. I move to Texas thinking that it will mellow my life out and it is absolutely decided that it doesn't. Now thank GOD I'm not an A because this is stone cold sober I can't imagine the crap that would happen if I was drunk and out of control. Now I'm terribly warped and the best people I know their edges ar...

jilld30 · jilld30

Hi friends. Just need to share what happened tonight. I made the foolish mistake of telling my drunk husband that he behaved badly when he drank. He had drunk half a liter of whisky in just a few hours and was rude. I was accused of throwing attitude and he called me a f***king b*tch in front of our 6 year old...

RKTreats · RKTreats

I posted another message somewhere, but can't seem to find it. I have been in a "relationship" with someone I met online over a year ago. We clicked from the get-go. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic, after I had fallen head over heels for him. What I didn't know, was he was still drinking. Accord...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery, being a discipline. The reading points out that this discipline requires diligence, patience and consistency for the best results. Regular attendance at meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon principles every part of the da...

mb2016 · mb2016

Hi, I am new here- and am so glad I found this forum. Basically, I am here because I have a fear that my husband will become an alcoholic. I don't think he is one yet, but I worry about his drinking patterns and family history (his mom and sister are recovering alcoholics). So I find myself counting his dri...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom found out today that she has skin cancer on her face in more than one place. I just hope & pray that it doesn't get worse. Prayers for good news that they can get it all.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a song that comes up every now & then. I feel pretty much this way right now. I am so glad that I am experiencing a beautiful day today. The sun is shining & I feel the wind on my face. It is so nice to take a walk & not feel like I am in so much pain that I can hardly stand it. But there is always s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses decision making and how the program changes us and that process. For many of us, coming to Al-Anon and practicing the program helps us make our choices more conscientiously. We do the necessary footwork to research our choices, decide and then leave the results up to our...

andromeda · andromeda

I am going to be moving in with my new man and his two little girls at the end of the month. And his dog. And his cat, lol! I hate moving. Let's just get that on the table. And, I just helped my guy move over the past few months, as well, and I truly am tired of packing and unpacking boxes. On the flip side; this...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

This is my first time here..I wanted to find a place where I could talk to others who know what it is like to live with and love an alcoholic. My fiancé has always drank...a lot. For the first few years I noticed it, but it wasn't really disturbing, he didn't morph into a monster. Now, I realize alcoholism i...

Moondancer1962 · Moondancer1962

Hello everyone:) I'm new and so grateful to find this site! I'm 26 years sober, a double-winner in Al Anon and AA. I'm divorced, with three adult children, all living at home with me now. I definitely have a full plate with them..my oldest daughter, 32, is mentally disabled, my son, 33, just got paroled...

Chris ASCZ · Chris ASCZ

First post, I'm new here, but I probably should have been here years ago. I tried a few in person Al Anon meetings a few years ago but never came into contact with anyone I felt I could relate to. Maybe I'll find that here, maybe not, but if nothing else the massive wall of text I'm sure I'll be composing he...

bran11606 · bran11606

My name is Bran and I'm new to this Al-Anon program. My boyfriend of 5 years asked for help 16 days ago and is in inpatient rehab. We had our first family phone therapy yesterday. It was a rough experience. I've never been able to express the hurt fully that I have had until now. I do have concerns though. He...

ataloss · ataloss

So my stbxh just told me he has decided to get sober. We don't talk often but he said he's been sober for 39 days, no withdrawal symptoms and he sounds super positive. We have 2 kids together so I hope this is for real and he starts spending time with them. He has made no effort yet, hasn't even called them sin...

Fedora · Fedora

As I get that part of the recovery process involves a HP of any sort, I'm coming to the conclusion that I need help in this area. I came to be a religious person relatively later than some (college). I liked the pageantry from a very early age but I didn't really buy into the message for a long time. Anyway,...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

my frustration is so overwhelming. I just do not know how to react to my addict. Recently he told me he was participating in a recovery program and has been for several months. I just don't know whether to believe him or not. I know I am supposed to detach and know that its his disease to deal with and I am try...

gabigail · gabigail

It is been a long time since I have been on this site. I have still been working on myself during this time as well as the 12 steps. I've been daily trying to detach myself from my alcoholic spouse and work on my issues. I have to say that I have made quite a bit of progress. Although the recovery has been slow f...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the difficulties many of us face in believing there is a higher power who cares about us and what happens in this world. This struggle is often more difficult for agnostics - doubt comes easy and belief is difficult. Our arrival at Al-Anon often happens when we are at our lo...

deacon · deacon

We have had our 38 year old son, his fiance and their baby boy living with us for many months now. They have no money at all and my son has not been able to find a job in this area. So we have provided every necessity or life for them and the baby. He has the use of my car that I just paid off, we bought all the baby fu...

joker · joker

I am so numb right now. I keep shaking and just plain afraid of Abf. I have posted an ad for an apartment to live in for myself and have been looking for a place. I have a sister here in the city and we talked. She said to get a lot at the lake which is 2 hours from the city and stay there for the summer, and to get my h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

There is nothing that can bring me to my knees faster than my adult children and my young grandchildren struggling. In this case, as usually is the case, it is all a product of their own choices for the adult children. It is so hard to not rush in and save when there are grandchildren involved, and yet i...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about being alone, and how, prior to recovery, many of us think we can only feel happy if someone else (chiefly our qualifiers) is there to stop us from feeling alone. (And it also mentions how ironically we often feel more alone than ever when they are with us anyway). The reading is ab...

Ladybird89 · Ladybird89

Hello All, This is my first time with any sort of contact with Al-Anon, so sorry if I mess up anywhere. Here's my story: I have been with my BF for over 6 years now. He was always a drinker for as long as I have known him. Was always able to keep a job, never behind on bills or anything like that, but if he wasn't...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. John Wooden Gosh. How many excuses have I made in my life? I've made excuses to friends about why we couldn't do things with them, because money was tight, due to our circumstances. I've made excuses to our kids when we co...

KT2015 · KT2015

As I start to get better I find those around me who aren't trying to get better really challenging to deal with. It sounds really awful to write it like that but here we go. I am learning now by looking at things from a different perspective how much I mediated for my AH (and others in general). My BFF who...

joker · joker

Yesterday, I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and overcame my denial that the alcoholic bf will get better. He is not. The verbal abuse has become intolerable and I am nearing a nervous break down. I keep shaking and shaking in fear of him. He yells and screams and makes threats to hit me. I am a nervou...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I came to Al-anon because I need help, I felt no one in my circle truly understands what I'm going thru, they will just tell me to live with it and offer it as a sacrifice. Some would even blame me for my choice of marrying someone who I knew drinks. How I felt so stupid and blamed myself about not knowing th...

Fallout with another member · Mitsy

I recently had a falling out with another member in my very small Al-Anon group. This woman needed help getting to an out of town Dr. appt. & I had re-arranged my very busy work schedule at least 3 times (if not more) to take her. She has cancelled her appts. in the past due to her blood pressure (anxi...

Crau · Crau

I've been thinking about upholding boundaries and carrying the weight of others expecting you to uphold their boundaries for them. Boundaries are hard to start with, right? But even more difficult when someone tells you "if only you would xyz, then the person would be able to do abc for me"....hmm...

strangeworld · strangeworld

I'm new here...second post. Something that I have been really struggling with is not taking insulting, hurtful words personally. When they are said by someone who is supposed to love you. The worst part about it is that I already feel like crap about certain areas of my life....especially my soci...

Kimryn · Kimryn

I think I've been fooling myself. What I thought was forgiveness and compassion, was probably enabling. I'm at a reading point. Alcoholism plagued my childhood and I feel I'm now letting it plague my adult life and negatively effect my children's lives. Both my parents have struggled with drinkin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much going on today. Last night on the other hand my ah & I had another night of fighting. He spewed a few choice words & said something that I can't remember. Needless to say I had trouble sleeping. The fact was I needed to sleep & he wanted a moment of silence & he took it wrong. In this...

Carmel 15 · Carmel 15

My ABF has been sober since finishing a six month stay in residential rehab in Dec, a miracle in itself. He is not attending meetings of any sort and so I guess is white knuckling it...he says he will NEVER drink again... and that the man he was is gone, he doesnt know him anymore, and thank god he says a...

Ava2016 · Ava2016

I have a customer/friend who is an alcoholic. She's never told me, her boss did (she went into rehab). I do not know if she knows I know. Yesterday at lunch, to my shock, she had 2 drinks! What can I do to help her? I was so shocked, I did nothing.

strangeworld · strangeworld

I am a new member...just couldn't keep my feelings inside right now and rather than scream and slam doors and scare my pets, I figured I would post here. I am 16 years sober which I am thankful for. It has not been easy, especially over the last few years. It all seems to revolve around my 17 year old daug...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how a difference in our perception about any given situation can change our attitude and brighten what may have seemed like a bleak situation. The writer tells of looking at a tree that at first glance seems out of place, not healthy looking, not the t...

Pinkshoe7 · Pinkshoe7

It's been awhile since I've posted....6 years. My husband has been sober for six years until now.....but in those six years we made a life. A house and a family. A 4yr old boy and a 10 month old girl. And now this......there's been about 3 instances in the last 3 months. He's hanging out with people he hasn...

Crau · Crau

I wrote down my story last week for a friend, recapping the events of late and what I did or didn't do in response. It was funny looking from that point of view author and not main character, you see flaws in the story line; where the story should have stopped or where a new chapter needed to begin. It starte...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Hello to all! Just wanted to get some feedback if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I have been in Al Anon for almost 3 years in July. I worked on my steps and traditions with a sponsor a year in to my recovery. I learned a lot from her and her words will always be with me but I felt It was time for...

milkwood · milkwood

I'm not proud of how I'm feeling. I sort of thought that marriage was a partnership, a companionable one which included someone who I could talk to. My marriage feels like it has a big black hole in it - a space where I try not to think about my husband and things that he has said or done in the past. A space w...

Crau · Crau

I've been doing really well, focusing on me and not my ExABF. Taking the time I need to start fresh, looking to buy a home just for me and the dog. I don't give him as much energy as this post may elude too--just events of the pay week have intensified old feelings as of recent. My ex has been in intensive ou...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I feel all emotional again probably my two lastest losses just keep adding up on my other pile of stuff. I feel like i am at a crossroad. It will be one year on the 15 th. i need to let go and let God, and leave him there, for my own sanity and growth. We were both harmed as children growing up in dysfunctiona...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Mother's Day to one and all - including all the male members who have had to be mothers at times. As most of you know, I have two sons. I expect that I won't hear from either of them today. I am sad for that, but it is what it is. The disease is alive and well in my neck of the woods, so am asking for prayer...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Facing my own shaddows, fears of infidelity (Preview) I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...	Taraxacum	11	635	May 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	update (Preview) Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...	joker	8	599	May 17, 2016 by KT2015
	Question for those whose long term AH got sober - adult theme mentioned (Preview) Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...	Doingmybest	9	769	May 17, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Still doesnt feel right ....... (Preview) Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...	LinSC	6	588	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	R u still resentful? (Preview) when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...	LinSC	4	498	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	concentrate & focus. (Preview) Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...	Hoot Nanny	2	539	May 16, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Martyr ???? (Preview) I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu	lookingup	8	3535	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Need Some Advice, Please (Preview) Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...	jiff	1	456	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 16/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...	missmeliss	3	479	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	I think it is time To reassess myself. (Preview) Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...	Doingmybest	2	480	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Online literature (Preview) Hi, somewhat new to alanon (call it four months) and 4 years into aa. Attend about 3 aa meetings a week and one alanon. I have been able to find lots of aa literature online and am looking for direction into a central site for alanon literature. Thanks, aa has done wonders and alanon is helping lots as well...	bigsmitty	13	3483	May 16, 2016 by bigsmitty
	Finding my motivaions (Preview) This isn't directly related to alcohol, but we know that the program can help in all areas of our lives. I am so irked at someone's response or lack of one that I am trying to decide if my motives were selfish or the other person was just plain rude. See, now the program is making me examine my own behavior...	El	4	476	May 15, 2016 by El
	C2C 5-15-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 15 speaks about entering Al-Anon and discovering the warmth and caring found within the rooms. It points out the people in Al-Anon have learned a non judgmental patient way of life and even though you don't like their hugs and walk away,they keep inviting us come back , They r...	hotrod	3	515	May 15, 2016 by missmeliss
	Perspective needed (Preview) I PM'd a few of my personal friends here at MIP but I thought I would throw this out to the group and ask for some words of support and wisdom. My bf and I will be living together soon and his ex-wife just now decided to say something about her concerns: specifically about her 2 young girls living with my 17 ye...	andromeda	9	641	May 15, 2016 by andromeda
	Hate alcohol (Preview) The images of the alcoholic drinking and the violence I experienced keeps going through my mind over and over again. I hate alcohol so much right now and how it has destroyed my life and my home. I keep thinking omg, omg, he had put a steak knife to my neck, and was screaming and screaming at me and calling m...	joker	12	812	May 15, 2016 by Lyne
	Today was a good day (Preview) I posted on here last night about my beginnings in this Al-Anon journey. I've been very anxious because now that my Abf is working on getting sober (30 days), attending AA meetings regularly and going through OP rehab counseling, he seems to be pushing me away so he can work on himself. He is trying to co...	RKTreats	1	376	May 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 9 Posted to the Step Board (Preview) Step 9 posted to the: Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps o...	hotrod	0	306	May 14, 2016 by hotrod
	Friday the 13th (Preview) Ok .. I move to Texas thinking that it will mellow my life out and it is absolutely decided that it doesn't. Now thank GOD I'm not an A because this is stone cold sober I can't imagine the crap that would happen if I was drunk and out of control. Now I'm terribly warped and the best people I know their edges ar...	SerenityRUS	2	570	May 14, 2016 by OceanTide
	He's drunk again (Preview) Hi friends. Just need to share what happened tonight. I made the foolish mistake of telling my drunk husband that he behaved badly when he drank. He had drunk half a liter of whisky in just a few hours and was rude. I was accused of throwing attitude and he called me a f**king btch in front of our 6 year old...	jilld30	4	629	May 14, 2016 by el-cee
	Advice/Help Needed (Preview) I posted another message somewhere, but can't seem to find it. I have been in a "relationship" with someone I met online over a year ago. We clicked from the get-go. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic, after I had fallen head over heels for him. What I didn't know, was he was still drinking. Accord...	RKTreats	6	464	May 14, 2016 by tiredtonite
	C2C Reading for May 14 2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 14 speaks about Al-Anon recovery, being a discipline. The reading points out that this discipline requires diligence, patience and consistency for the best results. Regular attendance at meetings, working the steps and applying the Al-Anon principles every part of the da...	hotrod	1	389	May 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help with Step 1 and obsessive thoughts Step 1 Obsessive Thoughts (Preview) Hi, I am new here- and am so glad I found this forum. Basically, I am here because I have a fear that my husband will become an alcoholic. I don't think he is one yet, but I worry about his drinking patterns and family history (his mom and sister are recovering alcoholics). So I find myself counting his dri...	mb2016	10	627	May 13, 2016 by mb2016
	my mom... (Preview) My mom found out today that she has skin cancer on her face in more than one place. I just hope & pray that it doesn't get worse. Prayers for good news that they can get it all.	Hoot Nanny	1	307	May 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	good to be alive right about now!(song) (Preview) This is a song that comes up every now & then. I feel pretty much this way right now. I am so glad that I am experiencing a beautiful day today. The sun is shining & I feel the wind on my face. It is so nice to take a walk & not feel like I am in so much pain that I can hardly stand it. But there is always s...	Hoot Nanny	2	1656	May 13, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/13/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses decision making and how the program changes us and that process. For many of us, coming to Al-Anon and practicing the program helps us make our choices more conscientiously. We do the necessary footwork to research our choices, decide and then leave the results up to our...	Iamhere	4	727	May 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Love......and a new chapter starting (Preview) I am going to be moving in with my new man and his two little girls at the end of the month. And his dog. And his cat, lol! I hate moving. Let's just get that on the table. And, I just helped my guy move over the past few months, as well, and I truly am tired of packing and unpacking boxes. On the flip side; this...	andromeda	5	554	May 13, 2016 by Breakingfree
	What can I do for my boyfriend? And me? (Preview) This is my first time here..I wanted to find a place where I could talk to others who know what it is like to live with and love an alcoholic. My fiancé has always drank...a lot. For the first few years I noticed it, but it wasn't really disturbing, he didn't morph into a monster. Now, I realize alcoholism i...	Desperateinnyc	13	585	May 13, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Balancing boundaries for self-care and hands off to my bf's sobriety (Preview) Hello everyone:) I'm new and so grateful to find this site! I'm 26 years sober, a double-winner in Al Anon and AA. I'm divorced, with three adult children, all living at home with me now. I definitely have a full plate with them..my oldest daughter, 32, is mentally disabled, my son, 33, just got paroled...	Moondancer1962	13	682	May 13, 2016 by Moondancer1962
	Dealing With An Alcoholic Ex When Children Are Involved (Preview) First post, I'm new here, but I probably should have been here years ago. I tried a few in person Al Anon meetings a few years ago but never came into contact with anyone I felt I could relate to. Maybe I'll find that here, maybe not, but if nothing else the massive wall of text I'm sure I'll be composing he...	Chris ASCZ	12	1689	May 13, 2016 by a4l
	New to all of this (Preview) My name is Bran and I'm new to this Al-Anon program. My boyfriend of 5 years asked for help 16 days ago and is in inpatient rehab. We had our first family phone therapy yesterday. It was a rough experience. I've never been able to express the hurt fully that I have had until now. I do have concerns though. He...	bran11606	6	461	May 13, 2016 by milkwood
	What to expect? (Preview) So my stbxh just told me he has decided to get sober. We don't talk often but he said he's been sober for 39 days, no withdrawal symptoms and he sounds super positive. We have 2 kids together so I hope this is for real and he starts spending time with them. He has made no effort yet, hasn't even called them sin...	ataloss	2	511	May 12, 2016 by milkwood
	what to do with anger (side topic - HP / religion) (Preview) As I get that part of the recovery process involves a HP of any sort, I'm coming to the conclusion that I need help in this area. I came to be a religious person relatively later than some (college). I liked the pageantry from a very early age but I didn't really buy into the message for a long time. Anyway,...	Fedora	10	835	May 12, 2016 by hotrod
	Never know if he's telling me the truth (Preview) my frustration is so overwhelming. I just do not know how to react to my addict. Recently he told me he was participating in a recovery program and has been for several months. I just don't know whether to believe him or not. I know I am supposed to detach and know that its his disease to deal with and I am try...	Sallygcoe	5	2752	May 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Miracles do happen! (Preview) It is been a long time since I have been on this site. I have still been working on myself during this time as well as the 12 steps. I've been daily trying to detach myself from my alcoholic spouse and work on my issues. I have to say that I have made quite a bit of progress. Although the recovery has been slow f...	gabigail	5	675	May 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/12/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the difficulties many of us face in believing there is a higher power who cares about us and what happens in this world. This struggle is often more difficult for agnostics - doubt comes easy and belief is difficult. Our arrival at Al-Anon often happens when we are at our lo...	Iamhere	5	523	May 12, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Taking away support and feeling really guilty (Preview) We have had our 38 year old son, his fiance and their baby boy living with us for many months now. They have no money at all and my son has not been able to find a job in this area. So we have provided every necessity or life for them and the baby. He has the use of my car that I just paid off, we bought all the baby fu...	deacon	8	599	May 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just numb (Preview) I am so numb right now. I keep shaking and just plain afraid of Abf. I have posted an ad for an apartment to live in for myself and have been looking for a place. I have a sister here in the city and we talked. She said to get a lot at the lake which is 2 hours from the city and stay there for the summer, and to get my h...	joker	4	465	May 12, 2016 by Mirandac
	Mom Guilt (Preview) There is nothing that can bring me to my knees faster than my adult children and my young grandchildren struggling. In this case, as usually is the case, it is all a product of their own choices for the adult children. It is so hard to not rush in and save when there are grandchildren involved, and yet i...	Bethany66	4	567	May 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11/5 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about being alone, and how, prior to recovery, many of us think we can only feel happy if someone else (chiefly our qualifiers) is there to stop us from feeling alone. (And it also mentions how ironically we often feel more alone than ever when they are with us anyway). The reading is ab...	missmeliss	7	568	May 11, 2016 by pjwa12726
	New Here (Preview) Hello All, This is my first time with any sort of contact with Al-Anon, so sorry if I mess up anywhere. Here's my story: I have been with my BF for over 6 years now. He was always a drinker for as long as I have known him. Was always able to keep a job, never behind on bills or anything like that, but if he wasn't...	Ladybird89	8	365	May 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	Excuses (Preview) Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. John Wooden Gosh. How many excuses have I made in my life? I've made excuses to friends about why we couldn't do things with them, because money was tight, due to our circumstances. I've made excuses to our kids when we co...	sweetness34	7	560	May 11, 2016 by sweetness34
	Issues with a friend (Preview) As I start to get better I find those around me who aren't trying to get better really challenging to deal with. It sounds really awful to write it like that but here we go. I am learning now by looking at things from a different perspective how much I mediated for my AH (and others in general). My BFF who...	KT2015	4	657	May 11, 2016 by KT2015
	getting over denial (Preview) Yesterday, I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and overcame my denial that the alcoholic bf will get better. He is not. The verbal abuse has become intolerable and I am nearing a nervous break down. I keep shaking and shaking in fear of him. He yells and screams and makes threats to hit me. I am a nervou...	joker	8	645	May 11, 2016 by missmeliss
	no more romantic love (Preview) I came to Al-anon because I need help, I felt no one in my circle truly understands what I'm going thru, they will just tell me to live with it and offer it as a sacrifice. Some would even blame me for my choice of marrying someone who I knew drinks. How I felt so stupid and blamed myself about not knowing th...	jocelgp	5	757	May 11, 2016 by jocelgp
	Fallout with another member (Preview) I recently had a falling out with another member in my very small Al-Anon group. This woman needed help getting to an out of town Dr. appt. & I had re-arranged my very busy work schedule at least 3 times (if not more) to take her. She has cancelled her appts. in the past due to her blood pressure (anxi...	Mitsy	23	1109	May 10, 2016 by Mitsy
	Upholding other people's boundaries (Preview) I've been thinking about upholding boundaries and carrying the weight of others expecting you to uphold their boundaries for them. Boundaries are hard to start with, right? But even more difficult when someone tells you "if only you would xyz, then the person would be able to do abc for me"....hmm...	Crau	4	585	May 10, 2016 by KT2015
	Words that hurt...causing irrational guilt (Preview) I'm new here...second post. Something that I have been really struggling with is not taking insulting, hurtful words personally. When they are said by someone who is supposed to love you. The worst part about it is that I already feel like crap about certain areas of my life....especially my soci...	strangeworld	4	2735	May 10, 2016 by strangeworld
	Feeling Hopeless (Preview) I think I've been fooling myself. What I thought was forgiveness and compassion, was probably enabling. I'm at a reading point. Alcoholism plagued my childhood and I feel I'm now letting it plague my adult life and negatively effect my children's lives. Both my parents have struggled with drinkin...	Kimryn	6	545	May 10, 2016 by Kimryn
	just another day. (Preview) Not much going on today. Last night on the other hand my ah & I had another night of fighting. He spewed a few choice words & said something that I can't remember. Needless to say I had trouble sleeping. The fact was I needed to sleep & he wanted a moment of silence & he took it wrong. In this...	Hoot Nanny	2	342	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	ISMs of Alcoholism and how Ive slipped abit myself. (Preview) My ABF has been sober since finishing a six month stay in residential rehab in Dec, a miracle in itself. He is not attending meetings of any sort and so I guess is white knuckling it...he says he will NEVER drink again... and that the man he was is gone, he doesnt know him anymore, and thank god he says a...	Carmel 15	2	644	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	What do I do? (Preview) I have a customer/friend who is an alcoholic. She's never told me, her boss did (she went into rehab). I do not know if she knows I know. Yesterday at lunch, to my shock, she had 2 drinks! What can I do to help her? I was so shocked, I did nothing.	Ava2016	5	535	May 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	First time here. (Preview) I am a new member...just couldn't keep my feelings inside right now and rather than scream and slam doors and scare my pets, I figured I would post here. I am 16 years sober which I am thankful for. It has not been easy, especially over the last few years. It all seems to revolve around my 17 year old daug...	strangeworld	10	926	May 10, 2016 by lookingup
	Hope for Today May 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how a difference in our perception about any given situation can change our attitude and brighten what may have seemed like a bleak situation. The writer tells of looking at a tree that at first glance seems out of place, not healthy looking, not the t...	yanksfan51	2	437	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's been awhile (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted....6 years. My husband has been sober for six years until now.....but in those six years we made a life. A house and a family. A 4yr old boy and a 10 month old girl. And now this......there's been about 3 instances in the last 3 months. He's hanging out with people he hasn...	Pinkshoe7	3	488	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Our story, our journey..and no one else's (but maybe just slightly similar ;) ) (Preview) I wrote down my story last week for a friend, recapping the events of late and what I did or didn't do in response. It was funny looking from that point of view author and not main character, you see flaws in the story line; where the story should have stopped or where a new chapter needed to begin. It starte...	Crau	2	563	May 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do we ever outgrow Al Anon? (Preview) Hello to all! Just wanted to get some feedback if anyone has experienced what I am going through... I have been in Al Anon for almost 3 years in July. I worked on my steps and traditions with a sponsor a year in to my recovery. I learned a lot from her and her words will always be with me but I felt It was time for...	Sandy408	9	664	May 10, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Slipping... (Preview) I'm not proud of how I'm feeling. I sort of thought that marriage was a partnership, a companionable one which included someone who I could talk to. My marriage feels like it has a big black hole in it - a space where I try not to think about my husband and things that he has said or done in the past. A space w...	milkwood	9	609	May 10, 2016 by a4l
	A test of where I am (Preview) I've been doing really well, focusing on me and not my ExABF. Taking the time I need to start fresh, looking to buy a home just for me and the dog. I don't give him as much energy as this post may elude too--just events of the pay week have intensified old feelings as of recent. My ex has been in intensive ou...	Crau	6	662	May 9, 2016 by Crau
	Handing xah over and leaving there (Preview) I feel all emotional again probably my two lastest losses just keep adding up on my other pile of stuff. I feel like i am at a crossroad. It will be one year on the 15 th. i need to let go and let God, and leave him there, for my own sanity and growth. We were both harmed as children growing up in dysfunctiona...	Mirandac	5	611	May 9, 2016 by Mirandac
	Happy Mother's Day all... (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to one and all - including all the male members who have had to be mothers at times. As most of you know, I have two sons. I expect that I won't hear from either of them today. I am sad for that, but it is what it is. The disease is alive and well in my neck of the woods, so am asking for prayer...	Iamhere	16	902	May 9, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.