The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Bran and I'm new to this Al-Anon program. My boyfriend of 5 years asked for help 16 days ago and is in inpatient rehab. We had our first family phone therapy yesterday. It was a rough experience. I've never been able to express the hurt fully that I have had until now. I do have concerns though. He says he wants to get his own place and me and the kids can go our separate ways. The other day, he was saying he wants to get better for his family. I told him your "goal" should be to get better so you can be better for your family. You shouldn't sweep us under the rug after all of this. That's not what anyone wants. If that's the case, then why are you even there if you just want to be alone?
He is an emotional roller coaster. The therapist suggest joining a group. I want to give this "online" group a try.
Hey Bran - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad that you shared....Alcoholism is a progressive disease that tends to bring chaos/drama and more to the alcoholic and those who love them or live with them. AA is for the Alcoholic and Al-Anon is for family and friends of said alcoholic.
While joining us is great, attending local Al-Anon meetings is suggested. We are not a replacement for local support, fellowship and sponsorship. AA & Al-Anon are both based on 12 Steps, and every person's recovery journey is their own, at their own pace. We all are looking to find peace and serenity and relief from the disease of alcoholism.
I see it as a good sign that your ABF is in treatment. This gives you time to keep the focus on you, which is what Al-Anon is about. Taking care of ourselves and focusing on us as this disease often causes us to develop negative coping strategies. As he goes through his treatment, he will be working with a counselor that will explain he needs to do whatever he can to stay clean/sober. His plans might change multiple times, but most often, sober living away from the home is suggested. It has nothing to do with you or the home - it has to do with him and his chances of staying sober.
Al-Anon can teach you more about the disease and recovery from it. Take some time to seek out local meetings - you will find love, support and experience, strength, hope (ESH) from others who are also affected by the disease.
Glad you are here - keep coming back! You are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
When you go to ftf mtg you generally can
Purchase any of the three daily readers, they
are Around 14 dollars each. Usually there is a
Lending library to borrow from too. Not every
Mtg has a library because of storage issues.
In addition to Alanon literature, which is great, you could also look for "Under the Influence" or "Beyond the Influence" by Ketcham. These books explain the disease of alcoholism and the current scientific knowledge about treatment.
Hey Bran - I actually found a lot of Al-Anon books on ebay when I first arrived.....It included 2 daily readers + How Al-Anon works. The dailys are Courage to Change and One Day at a Time in Al-Anon. All 3 were great for starters....at the meetings, most groups give a newcomer package with has some information about Al-Anon as well as some great starts for reading too.
Even your local library might have some to 'borrow'!!!
HTH!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
