The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's C2C is about being able to acknowledge our own assets, and how that is so embarrassing and difficult for many of us at first.
The reading suggests that we can begin by accepting kindness and/or compliments from others even if we think we don't deserve it, and that we can let others know that we appreciate things about them too. The reading reminds us that small gestures can make a big difference to someone who is hurting.
"I've heard people in al-anon say that they got back their self worth. I never had any in my life so it was a whole new feeling to like the person called "me". ("As We understand..."
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Well that certainly rings a bell for me. Pre al-anon I can't remember ever liking myself on any level and daily asset lists were a really difficult and at first distressing thing to do. It felt fake and forced to begin with but certain things re-emerged and over time i started to learn that there really are things I like about me.
A little bit of kindness to my self goes a long way, as well as to others!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hello Ms.M Thanks for posting your thoughts on this extremely important page. Preparing a daily Gratitude and Asset lists was difficult for me in the beginning. The more I did it, the more comfortable I became in looking within and accepting the goodness I found buried deep within, under the negative destructive tools where I had hid them.
Since alanon presented me with constructive tools to live by, I no longer needed to hide the good so I would not be hurt . I love this program
Thanks for your service.
Thank you MissMeliss. I love the reminder about trying little changes. In retrospect, I find it's the little changes that have the most lasting effect on me. It goes with the "Just For Today" idea of having the courage to do something new for a short time (my wording) instead of signing myself up for a lifetime shift. Profound.
Good morning all and thank you MissMel for your service, the daily and your ESH. Being kind to myself and seeing assets was a huge struggle. There were things about me that I took for granted and assumed all people possess, and I was very uncomfortable with it too at first. Some days, it still can feel foreign to consider my assets but the gratitude lists are way easier for me.
I can say that I am a better person today than when I arrived. I am much more comfortable in my own skin and in doing things for myself. I agree Jill- the little things seem to stick better for me and are more lasting.
Thank you MIP family for the ongoing love and support! It's a new day and I am grateful you are part of my journey!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for sharing this morning MissMel. I appreciate your service to this board.
Acknowledging my assets is a struggle for me. I have always had a low self esteem. I've had a difficult time accepting challenges that I felt I couldn't meet. I always felt that everyone else was smarter, prettier, and more worthy than I was. Where does that come from?
I can remember, as a little girl, flipping through the photo album from my parents' wedding. My Dad was 20, and my Mom was only 18. She was absolutely beautiful, with movie star beautiful. She did everything perfectly. She kept a perfect home. She was able to sew, bake, cook, paint, run, play sports, and was the perfect role model. All I ever wanted to do was to be like her. While she was very supportive, she was also very critical. To this day, at the age of 52, I still find myself wanting to please her and meet her standards.
I think it is difficult for people who have older siblings, or parents that they want to emulate, but feel they fall short. My ex-husband was hyper-critical. No matter how hard I tried to make him happy, I never did. After I left him, I found my AH. He was someone I knew from my past, and someone I trusted as a very good friend. He helped me through the difficult times that came after my divorce. He made me feel beautiful, smart, and perfect just as I was. For the most part, he still does that, but there is that voice inside of my head that keeps trying to tell me I'm not good enough.
It's certainly something that I have to work on with my HP. He tells me that I am His daughter, and He doesn't make junk. He tells me that I'm a beautiful, one of a kind, masterpiece. I need to listen to Him more often than that other negative voice.
Thank you to all of my MIP family. You all rock, and I'm so glad to find that I'm not alone.
I just want to say that I am flattered when someone compliments me. I love the attention but I don't take them for granted. Does that make sense w the reading?
