Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

madowl86 · madowl86

My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...

madowl86 · madowl86

Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...

Living Free · Living Free

Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...

luv123 · luv123

Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children

crzenner73 · crzenner73

Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...

luv123 · luv123

I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...

Munch · Munch

Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...

barry wand · barry wand

my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...

Gapgirl · Gapgirl

After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...

Schnunkell · Schnunkell

hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...

CristeenRivers · CristeenRivers

I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I don't know if this is an al-anom related post but it's where my head is right now. As some of you know, I'm involved in a community outreach up here, it's something we took upon ourselves to do a few years back and it occupies a lot of our time. One of the main things we do is knit warm clothing for people les...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Mom, What are you doing tonight? I haven't eaten in 2 days and I can't give plasma for money. Wondering if you have any food in your house. He is an hour away. I sent him links to shelters and soup kitchens. He proceeded to tell me he had no money for gas. I am so sad but know I need to let him experience his ow...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is a focus on unity of purpose and how for the writer, the meaning of that phrase has changed over time. The writer states that when he/she first came to program unity of purpose meant it was possible to go to a roomful of people who accepted irrational thinking....

Medhuil · Medhuil

Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...

shrnp · shrnp

This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...

Fooled · Fooled

Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...

NCJo · NCJo

I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...

arasrallim · arasrallim

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...

MomInMo · MomInMo

Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ABF suddenly wants time apart (Preview) My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...	madowl86	0	402	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Keeping quiet about what you know (Preview) Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....	madowl86	20	1397	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Sad and heart hurts and I'm angry... (Preview) Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...	Jerry F	13	2891	Feb 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Feb 7 (Preview) Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...	yanksfan51	3	637	Feb 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries with an AH and Small children (Preview) I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...	LoLo23	4	560	Feb 7, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Checking in after 22 years (Preview) Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...	Living Free	8	719	Feb 7, 2017 by Enigmatic
	HOW DO WE HELP OUR CHILDREN COPE (Preview) Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children	luv123	2	596	Feb 6, 2017 by Jerry F
	In relationship w/Recovering Alcoholic straight out of rehab/halfway house - involved for 1 year already (Preview) Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...	crzenner73	5	971	Feb 6, 2017 by luv123
	The Slogan: THINK (in Hope 4 2day 2/5) (Preview) I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...	luv123	2	4010	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	2/5/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...	Enigmatic	3	504	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	What do I do? (you ask) (Preview) Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...	kismetstrand	6	606	Feb 6, 2017 by DavidG
	I think I'm done .. lol (Preview) Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...	SerenityRUS	4	651	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	The ODAT Reading 2-5-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...	hotrod	3	627	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	ciumstances (Preview) well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...	YARNCRAZY	5	560	Feb 5, 2017 by LinSC
	If You Have Left Relationship (Preview) Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...	wifeofalcoholic	10	817	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 4/2 (Preview) Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...	MissM	1	550	Feb 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Higher Powers... (Preview) was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...	Jerry F	1	452	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ups And Downs (Preview) Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...	Wolfie55	2	457	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Funny Story .. (Preview) Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...	SerenityRUS	0	551	Feb 4, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	So today I am fearful (Preview) Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...	Tannersmom	11	1702	Feb 4, 2017 by Peacefullyliving
	Update on John (Preview) I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...	kismetstrand	3	531	Feb 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	5 Year Al-Anon Anniversary (Preview) This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...	Green Eyes	11	1502	Feb 4, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Should I stay or should I go? (Preview) So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...	kzoomom79	13	947	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...	Munch	16	815	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	sober celebrations (Preview) my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...	barry wand	6	5087	Feb 3, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...	Iamhere	1	472	Feb 3, 2017 by hotrod
	New member/just separated from spouse (Preview) After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...	Gapgirl	4	845	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/2/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...	Iamhere	4	622	Feb 2, 2017 by shrnp
	1 step forward, 2 steps back... (Preview) Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...	newleaf66	8	2452	Feb 2, 2017 by Jerry F
	Need some advice , I don't know what to do ? (Preview) hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...	Schnunkell	3	644	Feb 2, 2017 by luv123
	Feeling overwhelmed; In need of guidance plz. (Preview) I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....	CristeenRivers	9	796	Feb 1, 2017 by CristeenRivers
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/	hotrod	0	488	Feb 1, 2017 by hotrod
	2/1/17 Hope for Today (Preview) It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...	Enigmatic	4	648	Feb 1, 2017 by shrnp
	Overcoming Fear of Failure (Preview) I don't know if this is an al-anom related post but it's where my head is right now. As some of you know, I'm involved in a community outreach up here, it's something we took upon ourselves to do a few years back and it occupies a lot of our time. One of the main things we do is knit warm clothing for people les...	Wolfie55	8	805	Feb 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Another text (Preview) Mom, What are you doing tonight? I haven't eaten in 2 days and I can't give plasma for money. Wondering if you have any food in your house. He is an hour away. I sent him links to shelters and soup kitchens. He proceeded to tell me he had no money for gas. I am so sad but know I need to let him experience his ow...	Tannersmom	11	860	Jan 31, 2017 by Jen61
	Hope for Today Jan 31 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is a focus on unity of purpose and how for the writer, the meaning of that phrase has changed over time. The writer states that when he/she first came to program unity of purpose meant it was possible to go to a roomful of people who accepted irrational thinking....	yanksfan51	4	543	Jan 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Alcoholic Parent dragging me in again (Preview) Well, first time here so bear with.... I'm 44, child of two alcoholics - turbulent, horrible, passive-aggressive, co-dependent marriage with lots of domestic violence. Ex self harmer, ex abusive marriage - usual ACOA stuff, I'm a bad person, I couldn't fix things, I deserve to be married to a dread...	Medhuil	4	577	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	Just alcoholic or narcissist too (Preview) Hi everyone This is my first post on this site though I have been reading other people's posts for a while now and attending alanon meetings regularly for a few years. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for three and a half years now. He is a binge drinker, he was drinking a lot for the first cou...	Sorcha	14	3197	Jan 31, 2017 by shrnp
	The Serenity Prayer - long version (Preview) I have known the Serenity Prayer my entire life - a needlepoint of it hung above our kitchen table when I was growing up - but I just discovered there is a longer version! Just wanted to share it, for anyone else who did not know there is more than what we say in meetings.Serenity PrayerGod grant me the se...	oceanpine	4	5947	Jan 31, 2017 by El
	First meeting in a few years (Preview) Well, back to my first meeting after a few years. I remember that when I was going to meetings and reading the Al-Anon literature I could still love and detach. When I got away from the program, I was sinking very, very slowly until I had such anxiety and insomnia that could hardly be controlled. Also...	wifeofalcoholic	3	529	Jan 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Back at it (Preview) I've been out and about. Just came back to recharge the batteries. I had momentarily forgotten my login info so I used a new one, but memory still serves me. Lots of new faces. Great to see that some of the old ones are still here. To the new members, give it time, whatever IT is. Trust your higher power. I le...	Wolfie55	7	705	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	Death in family - no support (Preview) I slept a couple of hours and now awake feeling so much anxiety by my AH relapse. I am going through a death in the family and it is so much more painful with my AH drinking, lying and not being emotionally available. If you have stayed in your relationship, what things do you do to cope and detach. I feel so r...	wifeofalcoholic	6	815	Jan 31, 2017 by Maresie25
	1-30-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Regarding Step 1, today's reading notes that many of us found AlAnon after trying everything else so admitting our life was unmanageable might not have been a stretch. Fully accepting our powerlessness over alcohol, people and outcomes, however, is often much more challenging. Today's Reminder...	Enigmatic	5	564	Jan 30, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Realizing my husband has a problem and I need support (Preview) First post, I've just been reading until now. I found this board a few weeks ago and it feels like I'm reading about my own life, it has made me feel like I'm not alone and validated that my husband has a problem whether he admits to it or not. We've known each other for almost 20 years, been married 10. I did...	LoLo23	10	792	Jan 30, 2017 by Cammi45
	Positive Thoughts re John's Health (Preview) I've been reading some of the posts and I have to say I'm saddened to hear about John's health. My wife (Nancy aka PEI Lady) and I were just talking about that. We've been coming here on and aff for about 15 years and John is just someone you expect to see. Naturally, we thought he'd live forever. We always t...	Wolfie55	1	474	Jan 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Detox was just to much for my friend (Preview) This is my second post, I did not know if I should write this as part of the other one or not. My friend, ex-bf has wet brain and has suffered brain damage while going through detox. He has to go into a nursing home because his is not eating on his own. He was not strong enough, and he had been living off of vodka...	shrnp	9	731	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing with families (Preview) I have been having a hard time accepting or dealing with with my qualifiers family. He has been able to talk to me after 14 days of being in the hospital. I had been talking to his sister, and she was not being too specific about his condition. She told me bits and pieces. He is doing better than expected, b...	shrnp	8	632	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling some sort of way (Preview) Since the death of my friend so suddenly and unexpectedly I have really really been leaning into my program. Lots of meetings, readings, and reflection. Its amazing how you can put things in perspective after a tragedy. Surprisingly Ive done a lot of growth. Ive gained some tolerance, I have...	Fooled	7	3153	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Thoughts on using sarcasm (Preview) My partner and I are both very sarcastic people. But, with program work, i am seeing that sometimes I use it to cover up my real emotions or to make light of something that's bothering me or to maybe use it in unhealthy ways. I see my partner do the same at times. I''m wondering how to work this into my reco...	andromeda	10	2918	Jan 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Relapses (Preview) I am brand new to al-anon. I have read some information online and have ordered the book and can't wait to read it. I have a question while I wait for it to come and would like some advice from people that have similar problems. My bf is currently in AA, and has had a few relapses. I am at a loss as what to do a...	NCJo	11	782	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	He left with a roar... (Preview) My wife was talking with our sister in law...the wife of my brother so recently passed. My sister-in-law said that at the time he passed he was being attended by his eldest son and a son-in-law and the house was quiet with the exception of a loud rumble like as if a hot-rod (not you Betty) had quickly pa...	Jerry F	17	943	Jan 30, 2017 by Doingmybest
	I am at a loss (Preview) I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and about a year ago he decided he wanted to get sober. I was happy to see him want to make a change but it has been a rocky road for us. We recently decided to move into together in May. His drinking became a game and he was now trying to be sneaky and hide it fro...	arasrallim	8	785	Jan 30, 2017 by Fooled
	ODAT Reading for 1-29-2017 (Preview) ODA T reading for January 29 speaks about being obligated to help others because of our common humanity. The reading points out that we should not do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage each partner must do his job and...	hotrod	7	650	Jan 30, 2017 by Wolfie55
	I had a relapse (Preview) and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...	Jerry F	5	614	Jan 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	Johns Status.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...	IAmStrong	44	2700	Jan 29, 2017 by wp
	Reading Material (Preview) Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...	NCJo	5	3563	Jan 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Resentment... (Preview) I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...	Vivian10	3	667	Jan 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mad at myself (Preview) I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...	Dlove	8	615	Jan 29, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage To Change 28/1 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...	MissM	2	494	Jan 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Love yourself - how do you know when you're doing it enough? (Preview) Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...	MomInMo	13	696	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.