The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After 10 rehabs and $30,000 in medical expenses my husband of 20 years attained sobriety. We struggled for the first few years of sobriety and finally connected on the same level as we had when we first married. Shortly after this with, 6 years of sobriety, he died of cancer. I was with him when he passed and am grateful for the 6 years of sobriety that we enjoyed. The end
Ive got a post recovery love story but not with my ex alcoholic husband but i'm in recovery and ive got love in my life again and its thanks to the program.
are u talking the ah,s recovery or mine. Still sorting through feelings of resentment,mourning the time i wasted [25yrs] with XAH. Been on own for over a year,divorced and keeping company with an old boyfriend who is not an alcoholic/addict but a hoarder. Wonderful,kind,giving,dependable man but too much stuff. wants to sell house and buy a new one,invited me. Only if there is less hoarding lol...Unemployed with a spine problem and cant seem to get disability yet BUT Happier than ive ever been. Thanks to alanon and my pals here and my own self determination
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For me, the best love story of all time is my own. I came to Al-Anon full of despair, anxiety, shame and felt very broken. Others who came before me showed me how to focus on me, trust in a power greater than me and renew my own spiritual existence and spirit. They loved me, warts and all until I could learn to love myself. I had spent the majority of my life caring more about everyone and everything that was not me....It was not easy to accept that I matter, I am valuable on this earth and I am more loved than words can describe by the one who created me and leads me.
When I look beyond the love of self the program has gifted me, I can honestly say I don't love my husband any more or any less than I love my children, my grandchildren, my closest friends, etc. Love is not a feeling to me - it's a choice to accept another exactly as they are, imperfect and broken and being able to sit with them serenely in the middle of a storm. So - my love story is still a work in progress and today, I have excitement for what comes next vs. the dread of a new day (my attitude and outlook before recovery).
So, so grateful for the gift of recovery!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think love for me is acceptance. My family of origin is a horror story full of abuse profound neglect and extremes
I did not speak with my family for a long time. I had profound deep resentments towards my sister's
Over time those resentments have lessened
While I.cannot say I have a cozy relationship wit my sister's the resentments have gone.
I do not blame them in a way I once did I.care about them but it is certainly in a very restrained way
For me that is love. Underneath that wealth of hurt, pain and craziness there was love
My sister's are active alcoholics. Their alcoholism did not destroy my love. At the same time my love for myself means I have a lot of boundaries around them. I have no illusions
My love stories go on and on and on. The oldest and grandest is the love the program had for me...this Hawaiian Islander that didn't know anything about alcoholism and was born and raised in it and into another alcoholic/addict marriage while drinking alcoholically himself. The program accepted me without condition which met my anger and rage and resentments head on with a "Keep coming back". I learned in that that I had a power greater than myself who would find and then place me smack dab in the middle of it and then keep me in my chair. My HP has always loved me unconditionally no matter what I did at the time with my and to my life. I have been receiving miracles in my life ever since I found the doors of the program and by being on this site I've got proof. To be trusted by my Higher Power and others is continual proof.
Years ago after a meeting a female member gave me her definition of love which didn't even have the word love in it nor did it mention an alcoholic...it expanded and suggested love to me. "Love is the complete and total acceptance of every other human being for exactly who they are.
It's, for me a spiritual condition. Mahalo for the shares. ((((hugs))))
Through my own Alanon recovery journey, I learned to accept and love myself again. It took awhile- almost five years to get to a point where I not only loved myself again, but was willing to be open to loving someone else unconditionally and for the right reasons. I currently am in a healthy, mutually respectful, open and honest relationship with someone I met online a year ago. We have very good communication between each other and I feel loved and respected for who I am, as I think he does as well. I had to unwind all of those negative scripts in my head to get to where I was ready to be in a relationship again. It was worth the hard work and wait to get to this day. I'm hoping that this will be your journey as well: to love yourself first and foremost.
I thought of that too. When I.first began 12 step programs I was pretty critical of Lois and he husband who started AS and So anon. When I read their biography but most of all as I began to experience the program I fell in love with them. I can see why they are so cherished
