Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH is sleeping it off. I am all alone, shaking. Came home drunk. Lied and lied even though we have had counseling about trust and truth in a marriage. He has had sporadic drinking episodes, now it is escalating. He had been clean for many, many years at one time. There have been promises, asking...

Bailey71 · Bailey71

my wife of 16 years went into AA last year after her father's death, she'd been drinking for 30 years. then restarted her count when she went off Ritalin two months ago. she'd been self-medicating on Ritalin for 15 years. She's highly functional, very accomplished we had an amazing relationship a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Just working through some feelings after attending my bf daughter's graduation yesterday. He was told in advance that she had plans for lunch with her mother and family and would be spending time afterwards with friends. It was an awkward situation when we met up with her after the graduation to take...

andromeda · andromeda

I'm traveling this week for work. Putting in 14 hour days at our training center and I'm exhausted. My son has finished school as of Wednesday and he had been dealing with some anxiety about his future, etc. So, he was already not having a 100% week. My son texted me yesterday and told me "I'm really an...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I am posting to not only vent, but mostly to show how Al-Anon has helped me today. So last night was a jazz night at a local eatery to raise money for my son's high school marching band program. I have been planing this for months, so my AH was well aware. In the past I would have underlying anxiety wonderin...

sunny123 · sunny123

10 years ago I got divorced from an alcoholic. It was the best thing to happen to me even though after 13 years together, I it felt like my world was crumbling at the time. I went to a lot of counseling, did a lot of reading and received a lot of support from here. In fact, this board was one of the reasons I had...

andromeda · andromeda

So,I am in corporate training for work this week, putting in 14 hour days. My son texted me earlier to tell me that his dad was out of control. He said his father sat on him, pulled his t shirt and shoved him to the couch, and threw his phone across the room (among other things)......anyway, my heart brea...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hello, For those of you who have seen my previous posts, I am the one about to have a baby (2 days) and my ABF went through a horrible relapse (yelling, anger, verbal abuse, slamming things around). Well, now he is coming out of it and last night it was really bothering me because I feel like he thinks that...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

I am still new to the Alanon thing, have gone to about 6 or so meetings. When people say "when I was working Alanon hard, and life got better/things improved/etc"... this is hard for me to understand. How do things improve when you have an alcoholic partner going through a rage/tantrum and you have a li...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

First I want to preface this by stating if nothing changed except you can you see yourself in the relationship 5 days/weeks/months/years (obviously that turns from 5 to 20 in a flash). I also realize that some people do stay because the only thing that changed was them and that is not a negative in the l...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I apologize for this being so tardy .. lol .. typical day where I realized I raced out of the house and left my book/s at home and thought about the fact as I was digging around in the trunk of my car fighting with the wind since I actually wore a dress. LOL .. oh the joys at times .. anyways .. better late than n...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page begins with a Chinese proverb, "When we talk of tomorrow, the gods laugh." I can live only one day at a time, one moment at a time. My mind, however, can get carried away with concerns of tomorrow even though the only certainty is that there is none. Worrying, planning, and analyzing the fu...

heyou · heyou

I've suspected my husband has a drinking problem for several years now - but he always drank at night after I'd gone to bed and hid the amount. In the last few months he's started drinking earlier and even sometimes going out twice a night to the store. Was a six pack a night now I suspect twice that or mo...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-It has taken me nearly 4 years in program to discover what my bottom line is for staying with my A. A few weeks ago my A came home barely able to walk, and slurring her words. Although this is now a rare occassion, that she could kill someone else, because of her addiction, is not OK with me. I asked...

Aline · Aline

Some of you here might remember I was away from my abf for a week or so. Well, I decided to come back - and I decided this because I finally understood what detaching means - first and foremost not to make other people the focus of my thoughts but rather me. After the brief separation from the A it became much...

Dinner · Dinner

In reading through the steps and the questions that go with them to ponder on i read this quote on step 2 "Recovery for me is focusing on my needs and wants and learning to voice those along with my feelings. I have read this a lot on this site and I understand that needing to focus on ones needs and wants an...

helpless mom · helpless mom

My 30 year old single daughter has relapsed again and has entered rehab For the 4th time. She was sober for almost 3 years, but started drinking again when she started dating a guy who drinks moderately. She told him early on in the relationship that she was an alcoholic. Unfortunately he started exclu...

WestMan · WestMan

Someone told me "say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean." I need some new words. In some future conversations I don't think "bullshit", as charming as that word may be, is going to be acceptable. What does everyone else use instead?

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone. I just had the most miserable weekend so I'm going to vent on here and ask for some advice. Sorry it's long and complain-y, I'm just so frustrated. My AH managed to come home two nights in a row last week, wow (haha), he did stay up and get hammered but whatever I was trying to be somewhat posit...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about letting go of our own will and being open to what our HP wants for us. Something that resonated with me was that the writer uses the word stubborn to describe him/herself. It makes a lot of sense and I truly believe that my Hp has a plan for me and gives me wh...

a4l · a4l

Ah, growing up with recovery in my life is so beautiful. I've really come to accept alcoholism is a disease and it helps me so much to approach myself and my family. Still from an ocean apart mind you. I was recently given a precious taonga ( gift, treasure) by a recovery brother which helped me immensely...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Some not great news from the vet today. My beautiful Chloe, who tested positive for Heartworm and allergies to her food (homemade allergy diet) last weekend, is also having issues with Kidney function. More tests tomorrow, and I am hoping for the best, but the tapes of losing my Akita Alex (who we jus...

shrnp · shrnp

I keep trying to just be friends with my A ex-bf. It has been sort of alright but he use to be very controlling. All my friends I met through him. I stopped seeing everyone because when we broke up I did not want any reminders of my ex-bf and our relationship. He was very emotionally abusive, probably more t...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I want to break my shame around this but i am in my 50s and separated approx 1.5 years ago and having SUCh a hard time separating from my ex who still wants to be with me. He will not go to counselling and had addictive behaviour and i just do NOT want to go back but I feel extremely lonely and all o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have been trying something different in regards to my mom. Ironically I would consider her my qualifier even though she doesn't drink or at least like she used to and I totally get it. One thing I have been trying to really do is I do control the amount of time I engage with her and how I choose to engage....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Some one wrote to me about letting go the first time. Will was not very happy his first day of school but we made it through. The memories the good memories.

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

havnt seen XAH for 1 and 1/ yrs but cant help be reminded of him daily as finances/irs trouble connected to that relationship affects me daily. irs holding on to my disability i just got to approve deferment of irs payment. i just got the ssdi and now i cant pay my bills etc. i dont know wheter to cry/scream...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shares a member's comment about the hardest thing they had to do in recovery: stop trying to figure out why their qualifier acted in certain ways, or jump to conclusions about their motives. The comment is made that only God knows what goes on in the mind, so don't try to play God or psychiat...

hotrod · hotrod

Ii have recied inquiries regarding thr Morning on line alnon meetings. I have posted to the "chat/meeting room board and have not received a reply. Can someone confirm that the meetings are still being held?

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

Through a lot of work in counseling and alanon, I had come to forgive my alcoholic mother for abandoning me, but I took my forgiveness as I need to try to reach out to her again. I did this recently only to be hurt and disappointed again. She is getting older and her health is deteriorating. I figured I need...

Jerry F · Jerry F

To my MIP Family who I love so deeply. Allow me to detach from you and pay attention with my Higher Power to another issue which is currently weighing so heavily on my heart and spirit. It is an ancient concern for my culture which is presently much more heavy because of the behaviors of foreign leade...

MissM · MissM

I've discussed in the past this problem of not being valued, especially on occasions. Birthdays, Christmas, Mothers days passed and my child, partner etc gave me nothing and I felt angry and resentful as I cooked for them, cleaned after them and planned to spoil them on their next occasion. And I foug...

LinSC · LinSC

To those wonderful Mothers that have loved, nurtured and protected their children in the best way they new how, no regrets.......happy day to you. linsc

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

I have dealt with dealing with constant rejection from both my mother and father over the years. It has leaked out into me choosing unavailable men to have relationships with that never work out. I have been single the past seven years. I get lonely sometimes but it is better than being in a toxic unavai...

hotrod · hotrod

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY The ODA T reading for May 14 speaks about Step One and the word "surrender". The reading suggests that the difference between the act of submission and that of surrender is that in submission we have reached the point where we" appear to accept" reality consciously...

DEF · DEF

I have a physical copy of Blueprint For Progress workbook but am looking for an electronic version to print out sheets to work on. I prefer not to write in this book. Is there such a thing available? Thank you!

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Dear MIP friends, Thursday was my husband's payday... how I have come to loath paydays! I happen to see him driving and I thought to myself, "Hmmmm, he's home early, what's he doing here?" Then I remembered his bank is in the same shopping center. oh yea, I thought, now he'll go straight to the liquor st...

Kellygirl12 · Kellygirl12

Hello friends, My alcoholic mother left my older brother and I with our workaholic dad when I was 14 to raise. She only moved an hour away but she didn't want any contact with us. My brother started drinking after our mother left and now has liver disease at 40 years of age from his alcohol abuse. I tried fo...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I've been doing well in recovery as has AH. He's had a few slips. I've established a boundary of not being able to be in the relationship if he drinks. How do I draw the line? Slips I've read are a part of recovery. I know Alcoholism is unmanageable. It will get worse if the past is an indicator. Is this where...

Dinner · Dinner

hello first time at alanon. My husband has been an AH since 2008. He has barely worked in that time only my income. He has spent so much on alcohol and he has a spending problem in general. I have worked so hard all these years to move up in my job to make more money to support everyone. I have three teenagers...

Ina · Ina

Hello I am extraordinary frustrated and can cry oceans and seas combined. I have a live in B.F. he has 3 kids in late teens that do not reside with us, however, my 2 special needs do. He is a functional alcoholic and gets very hot tempered when he drinks. He doesnt have to even be drunk when he begins his rant...

tealfighter · tealfighter

So when my qualifier and I were close we used to fly remote control airplanes together. I miss it. I also realize some of my insaine behaviour while a part of the group. I would like to fly again. I however feel shunned by some in the group. Of course my mom does not want me to fly again because she doesn't wan...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c discusses the difficulties many of us face when trying to make decisions. Many of us that have lived in alcoholic chaos dread and avoid making decisions for fear that no matter what we decide, the consequences will be something we must "suffer". We also may perceive that there is a single "...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all and sorry for the late post of a daily reading! I've had little people spend the night again and it certainly changes up my routine. As I've heard - better late than never! The reading discusses how many of us show up to Al-Anon obsessively focused on our alcoholic. We want the secret...

Lana · Lana

I don't know what to do. My relationship with my adult alcoholic daughter, who lives several thousand miles away is in such bad shape. We talked yesterday because my husband is sick and needs one or possibly two surgeries. I could tell she was drunk and missed work again. This happened after a several d...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

I've posted on here a couple of times about my issue, and those of you who responded- your thoughts were very helpful to me. My AH, sober for over 1 yr who relapsed 2 mos from us having our first child, is still drinking and has not stopped. I left the house and am staying with my mother in law (his mom). His...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am working really hard to stay out of the co-dependent stuff relationship wise. If I had a choice in relationships what I want is an interdependent relationship something where we share a common goal rooted together however thrive independently of one another. Without the insecure issues of sel...

WestMan · WestMan

It's 2am and I slept about two hours. I'm so over this BS right now. Yesterday was a bit of a breaking point. I'm ready to throw in the towel on this marriage, my career and myself. I have so little support. I'm actively being undermined by people at work who are supposed to be helping me on a serious project...

Wilady8 · Wilady8

My fiancé of 2 years told me tonight that he is planning on moving out. I have been in recovery (al-anon) for one month and I feel like there is hope for me as a person as well as our relationship since joining Al-anon, going to meetings, and getting a sponsor. But now he says he is planning on moving out of ou...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

I'm happy I got divorced but still mad about the money I had to give my ex. I lived in small places and drove old cars to save for retirement as a single mom and put my daughter through college. He got the house and $100k from my IRA. I get to be divorced. In the long run I know I'll be fine financially, and that...

runi · runi

A relative with family 3 kids, moved in with my us. Idea was to help both families. For the most part it is good. But, a big but. Ive been thinking and praying over this for about 2 months. I go to 2-3 meetings per week, working hard to take care of myself, (self care so foreign for me). Any input ?? Wha...

Aerin · Aerin

In response to a lot of my posts, I often hear that I am putting too much focus on him and not enough on me. very true. And I also hear "the question..what are YOU going to do?" So over the last two years I have had boundaries which took awhile to put in use, but now I do great. He is actively in AA for 7 months but h...

Wilady8 · Wilady8

My fiancé who has been in AA , 11 years sober, has completely stopped approaching me for sex or wanting to have sex. It has been over 2 weeks which may not seem like very long but its the longest we have gone. When I bring it up he says he just doesn't want to. I ask him why and he says he has built a wall up and he do...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about forgiveness and the freedom it brings us. It's also a reminder that forgiveness isn't always finite- we may forgive ourselves or others only to have old resentments come back to us. It is suggested that revisiting and working the steps is a way to fre...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I just got back from my 2-hour hearing, and wanted to share with you all... the judge accepted my parenting plan as is, and stated in court that it was apparent that my AH has a drinking problem and is not doing anything about it, and that she found me to be a credible witness. She commented that many pare...

Funkified · Funkified

How have you all dealt with people at meetings that you found to be disruptive, or disrespectful? I recently missed a number of meetings in a row due to illness. Initially, I had something I could spread, then some of the symptoms died down, but not others, and a doctor visit was in order to be sure I di...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One thing that has been really difficult for me to do is take the focus off of other people and putting it on me. I can talk about things in my life, what I'm doing, what my schedule is, however when I first came to Alanon I could not tell someone what my favorite color was, what kind of movies I liked, books I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all and sorry for the late post of a daily reading! I've had little people spend the night and it certainly changes up my morning routine. I've left my Courage to Change at my meeting so we have One Day at a Time in Al-Anon for today. The reading discusses what stands between us and serenity...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I have mouthwash in our bathroom. We were going through it like crazy! All this time, I thought it was my son (you know, being a teen and all). Last Saturday I bought another bottle of mouthwash... except this time it was a brand name, and had ZERO ALCOHOL in bold, large print on the label. Not only that,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I did a HUGE disservice to my XAH while we were together because I did the emotional work of ALL of his relationships .. this went from me to his family. Apparently I deemed it my duty because I had a uterus that it was my "job". Something I look at today is again we are back to the issue of meddling, fixing a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling so all alone and afraid of my future with AH (Preview) My AH is sleeping it off. I am all alone, shaking. Came home drunk. Lied and lied even though we have had counseling about trust and truth in a marriage. He has had sporadic drinking episodes, now it is escalating. He had been clean for many, many years at one time. There have been promises, asking...	wifeofalcoholic	4	663	May 20, 2017 by tiredtonite
	My relationship of 16 years ended abruptly - need help to understand (Preview) my wife of 16 years went into AA last year after her father's death, she'd been drinking for 30 years. then restarted her count when she went off Ritalin two months ago. she'd been self-medicating on Ritalin for 15 years. She's highly functional, very accomplished we had an amazing relationship a...	Bailey71	11	504	May 20, 2017 by shrnp
	Just Need to Let It Go (Preview) Just working through some feelings after attending my bf daughter's graduation yesterday. He was told in advance that she had plans for lunch with her mother and family and would be spending time afterwards with friends. It was an awkward situation when we met up with her after the graduation to take...	tiredtonite	11	700	May 20, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	My EXAH physically abused my son yesterday (Preview) I'm traveling this week for work. Putting in 14 hour days at our training center and I'm exhausted. My son has finished school as of Wednesday and he had been dealing with some anxiety about his future, etc. So, he was already not having a 100% week. My son texted me yesterday and told me "I'm really an...	andromeda	6	613	May 20, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	But it's been 5 days since I had a drink! (Preview) I am posting to not only vent, but mostly to show how Al-Anon has helped me today. So last night was a jazz night at a local eatery to raise money for my son's high school marching band program. I have been planing this for months, so my AH was well aware. In the past I would have underlying anxiety wonderin...	PosiesandPuppies	6	525	May 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Any advice? (Preview) 10 years ago I got divorced from an alcoholic. It was the best thing to happen to me even though after 13 years together, I it felt like my world was crumbling at the time. I went to a lot of counseling, did a lot of reading and received a lot of support from here. In fact, this board was one of the reasons I had...	sunny123	7	612	May 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	My XAH physically abused my son today.... (Preview) So,I am in corporate training for work this week, putting in 14 hour days. My son texted me earlier to tell me that his dad was out of control. He said his father sat on him, pulled his t shirt and shoved him to the couch, and threw his phone across the room (among other things)......anyway, my heart brea...	andromeda	6	564	May 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Anyone here know or who is with a "dry drunk"? (Preview) Hello, For those of you who have seen my previous posts, I am the one about to have a baby (2 days) and my ABF went through a horrible relapse (yelling, anger, verbal abuse, slamming things around). Well, now he is coming out of it and last night it was really bothering me because I feel like he thinks that...	LoveNHope	3	1022	May 19, 2017 by Mattie
	Still trying to understand how working the Alanon steps helps your life with an alcoholic (Preview) I am still new to the Alanon thing, have gone to about 6 or so meetings. When people say "when I was working Alanon hard, and life got better/things improved/etc"... this is hard for me to understand. How do things improve when you have an alcoholic partner going through a rage/tantrum and you have a li...	LoveNHope	11	788	May 19, 2017 by _bunny_
	If nothing changed .. (Preview) First I want to preface this by stating if nothing changed except you can you see yourself in the relationship 5 days/weeks/months/years (obviously that turns from 5 to 20 in a flash). I also realize that some people do stay because the only thing that changed was them and that is not a negative in the l...	SerenityRUS	7	578	May 19, 2017 by LoveNHope
	5/18 ODAT - My Will (Preview) I apologize for this being so tardy .. lol .. typical day where I realized I raced out of the house and left my book/s at home and thought about the fact as I was digging around in the trunk of my car fighting with the wind since I actually wore a dress. LOL .. oh the joys at times .. anyways .. better late than n...	SerenityRUS	1	442	May 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	5-17-17 ODAT - One Day/Moment at a Time (Preview) Today's page begins with a Chinese proverb, "When we talk of tomorrow, the gods laugh." I can live only one day at a time, one moment at a time. My mind, however, can get carried away with concerns of tomorrow even though the only certainty is that there is none. Worrying, planning, and analyzing the fu...	Enigmatic	9	562	May 18, 2017 by DavidG
	Think H is an A - think I want out (Preview) I've suspected my husband has a drinking problem for several years now - but he always drank at night after I'd gone to bed and hid the amount. In the last few months he's started drinking earlier and even sometimes going out twice a night to the store. Was a six pack a night now I suspect twice that or mo...	heyou	11	652	May 18, 2017 by Stan1
	Driving drunk (Preview) Hi all-It has taken me nearly 4 years in program to discover what my bottom line is for staying with my A. A few weeks ago my A came home barely able to walk, and slurring her words. Although this is now a rare occassion, that she could kill someone else, because of her addiction, is not OK with me. I asked...	Lyne	6	576	May 18, 2017 by Lyne
	Peeling off my crazy-layers (Preview) Some of you here might remember I was away from my abf for a week or so. Well, I decided to come back - and I decided this because I finally understood what detaching means - first and foremost not to make other people the focus of my thoughts but rather me. After the brief separation from the A it became much...	Aline	5	532	May 17, 2017 by Aline
	Step 2 Question on question (Preview) In reading through the steps and the questions that go with them to ponder on i read this quote on step 2 "Recovery for me is focusing on my needs and wants and learning to voice those along with my feelings. I have read this a lot on this site and I understand that needing to focus on ones needs and wants an...	Dinner	5	678	May 16, 2017 by a4l
	Rehab again (Preview) My 30 year old single daughter has relapsed again and has entered rehab For the 4th time. She was sober for almost 3 years, but started drinking again when she started dating a guy who drinks moderately. She told him early on in the relationship that she was an alcoholic. Unfortunately he started exclu...	helpless mom	5	566	May 16, 2017 by shrnp
	A nicer word for "BS" (Preview) Someone told me "say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean." I need some new words. In some future conversations I don't think "bullshit", as charming as that word may be, is going to be acceptable. What does everyone else use instead?	WestMan	11	4570	May 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feel like i'm going in circles (Preview) Hi everyone. I just had the most miserable weekend so I'm going to vent on here and ask for some advice. Sorry it's long and complain-y, I'm just so frustrated. My AH managed to come home two nights in a row last week, wow (haha), he did stay up and get hammered but whatever I was trying to be somewhat posit...	VickiR	10	581	May 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today May 16 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about letting go of our own will and being open to what our HP wants for us. Something that resonated with me was that the writer uses the word stubborn to describe him/herself. It makes a lot of sense and I truly believe that my Hp has a plan for me and gives me wh...	yanksfan51	6	1762	May 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Invitation to lala land (Preview) Ah, growing up with recovery in my life is so beautiful. I've really come to accept alcoholism is a disease and it helps me so much to approach myself and my family. Still from an ocean apart mind you. I was recently given a precious taonga ( gift, treasure) by a recovery brother which helped me immensely...	a4l	5	526	May 16, 2017 by Faith40
	Hoping for the Best (Preview) Some not great news from the vet today. My beautiful Chloe, who tested positive for Heartworm and allergies to her food (homemade allergy diet) last weekend, is also having issues with Kidney function. More tests tomorrow, and I am hoping for the best, but the tapes of losing my Akita Alex (who we jus...	Skorpi	11	621	May 16, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Overwhelmed (Preview) I keep trying to just be friends with my A ex-bf. It has been sort of alright but he use to be very controlling. All my friends I met through him. I stopped seeing everyone because when we broke up I did not want any reminders of my ex-bf and our relationship. He was very emotionally abusive, probably more t...	shrnp	8	605	May 15, 2017 by LinSC
	Dealing with Deep Loneliness from childhood as an ACOA Adult (Preview) Hi Everyone, I want to break my shame around this but i am in my 50s and separated approx 1.5 years ago and having SUCh a hard time separating from my ex who still wants to be with me. He will not go to counselling and had addictive behaviour and i just do NOT want to go back but I feel extremely lonely and all o...	Charlotte22	5	586	May 15, 2017 by shrnp
	Trying something different .. (Preview) I have been trying something different in regards to my mom. Ironically I would consider her my qualifier even though she doesn't drink or at least like she used to and I totally get it. One thing I have been trying to really do is I do control the amount of time I engage with her and how I choose to engage....	SerenityRUS	2	466	May 15, 2017 by hotrod
	First Time I let my Son go (Preview) Some one wrote to me about letting go the first time. Will was not very happy his first day of school but we made it through. The memories the good memories.	Cathyinaz	12	718	May 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	angry/frustrated (Preview) havnt seen XAH for 1 and 1/ yrs but cant help be reminded of him daily as finances/irs trouble connected to that relationship affects me daily. irs holding on to my disability i just got to approve deferment of irs payment. i just got the ssdi and now i cant pay my bills etc. i dont know wheter to cry/scream...	YARNCRAZY	4	444	May 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	5-15-17 ODAT – Nobody But God Knows...Don’t Try to be God (Preview) Today's page shares a member's comment about the hardest thing they had to do in recovery: stop trying to figure out why their qualifier acted in certain ways, or jump to conclusions about their motives. The comment is made that only God knows what goes on in the mind, so don't try to play God or psychiat...	Enigmatic	4	478	May 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Morning on line meetings (Preview) Ii have recied inquiries regarding thr Morning on line alnon meetings. I have posted to the "chat/meeting room board and have not received a reply. Can someone confirm that the meetings are still being held?	hotrod	0	380	May 15, 2017 by hotrod
	Forgiving Someone Doesn't Mean Having a Relationship with Them (Preview) Through a lot of work in counseling and alanon, I had come to forgive my alcoholic mother for abandoning me, but I took my forgiveness as I need to try to reach out to her again. I did this recently only to be hurt and disappointed again. She is getting older and her health is deteriorating. I figured I need...	Kellygirl12	6	717	May 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Detaching and changing lanes. (Preview) To my MIP Family who I love so deeply. Allow me to detach from you and pay attention with my Higher Power to another issue which is currently weighing so heavily on my heart and spirit. It is an ancient concern for my culture which is presently much more heavy because of the behaviors of foreign leade...	Jerry F	21	811	May 15, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Mother's Day 2017 (Preview) I've discussed in the past this problem of not being valued, especially on occasions. Birthdays, Christmas, Mothers days passed and my child, partner etc gave me nothing and I felt angry and resentful as I cooked for them, cleaned after them and planned to spoil them on their next occasion. And I foug...	MissM	7	558	May 14, 2017 by serenity47
	Happy Mothers Day (Preview) To those wonderful Mothers that have loved, nurtured and protected their children in the best way they new how, no regrets.......happy day to you. linsc	LinSC	5	434	May 14, 2017 by Stan1
	Dealing with Constant Rejection (Preview) I have dealt with dealing with constant rejection from both my mother and father over the years. It has leaked out into me choosing unavailable men to have relationships with that never work out. I have been single the past seven years. I get lonely sometimes but it is better than being in a toxic unavai...	Kellygirl12	5	1256	May 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT READING 5-14-2017 (Preview) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY The ODA T reading for May 14 speaks about Step One and the word "surrender". The reading suggests that the difference between the act of submission and that of surrender is that in submission we have reached the point where we" appear to accept" reality consciously...	hotrod	4	653	May 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Blueprint For Progress Electronic (Preview) I have a physical copy of Blueprint For Progress workbook but am looking for an electronic version to print out sheets to work on. I prefer not to write in this book. Is there such a thing available? Thank you!	DEF	7	533	May 14, 2017 by DEF
	New Boundary Set and I Feel Goodhe kdno (Preview) Dear MIP friends, Thursday was my husband's payday... how I have come to loath paydays! I happen to see him driving and I thought to myself, "Hmmmm, he's home early, what's he doing here?" Then I remembered his bank is in the same shopping center. oh yea, I thought, now he'll go straight to the liquor st...	PosiesandPuppies	4	504	May 14, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I've tried for too many years to have relationships with alcoholic family members (Preview) Hello friends, My alcoholic mother left my older brother and I with our workaholic dad when I was 14 to raise. She only moved an hour away but she didn't want any contact with us. My brother started drinking after our mother left and now has liver disease at 40 years of age from his alcohol abuse. I tried fo...	Kellygirl12	5	465	May 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholism is sneaky (Preview) I've been doing well in recovery as has AH. He's had a few slips. I've established a boundary of not being able to be in the relationship if he drinks. How do I draw the line? Slips I've read are a part of recovery. I know Alcoholism is unmanageable. It will get worse if the past is an indicator. Is this where...	sunmustshine	4	682	May 13, 2017 by Lyne
	How do I support him but keep our heads above water? (Preview) hello first time at alanon. My husband has been an AH since 2008. He has barely worked in that time only my income. He has spent so much on alcohol and he has a spending problem in general. I have worked so hard all these years to move up in my job to make more money to support everyone. I have three teenagers...	Dinner	8	582	May 13, 2017 by Mattie
	Intimacy and alcohol (Preview) Hello I am extraordinary frustrated and can cry oceans and seas combined. I have a live in B.F. he has 3 kids in late teens that do not reside with us, however, my 2 special needs do. He is a functional alcoholic and gets very hot tempered when he drinks. He doesnt have to even be drunk when he begins his rant...	Ina	1	482	May 13, 2017 by andromeda
	Fixing your mistakes (Preview) So when my qualifier and I were close we used to fly remote control airplanes together. I miss it. I also realize some of my insaine behaviour while a part of the group. I would like to fly again. I however feel shunned by some in the group. Of course my mom does not want me to fly again because she doesn't wan...	tealfighter	3	481	May 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 13/5 (Preview) Today's c2c discusses the difficulties many of us face when trying to make decisions. Many of us that have lived in alcoholic chaos dread and avoid making decisions for fear that no matter what we decide, the consequences will be something we must "suffer". We also may perceive that there is a single "...	MissM	3	478	May 13, 2017 by Jayla
	One Day at a Time in Al-Anon - 5/12/17 (Preview) Good morning all and sorry for the late post of a daily reading! I've had little people spend the night again and it certainly changes up my routine. As I've heard - better late than never! The reading discusses how many of us show up to Al-Anon obsessively focused on our alcoholic. We want the secret...	Iamhere	5	525	May 12, 2017 by hotrod
	HELP needed!! (Preview) I don't know what to do. My relationship with my adult alcoholic daughter, who lives several thousand miles away is in such bad shape. We talked yesterday because my husband is sick and needs one or possibly two surgeries. I could tell she was drunk and missed work again. This happened after a several d...	Lana	9	637	May 12, 2017 by serenity47
	Conflicted- about to have baby in 8 days. (Preview) I've posted on here a couple of times about my issue, and those of you who responded- your thoughts were very helpful to me. My AH, sober for over 1 yr who relapsed 2 mos from us having our first child, is still drinking and has not stopped. I left the house and am staying with my mother in law (his mom). His...	LoveNHope	5	496	May 12, 2017 by a4l
	Interdependency/ Co-Dependency How to end a relationship (Preview) I am working really hard to stay out of the co-dependent stuff relationship wise. If I had a choice in relationships what I want is an interdependent relationship something where we share a common goal rooted together however thrive independently of one another. Without the insecure issues of sel...	SerenityRUS	5	530	May 12, 2017 by a4l
	So Done with this. (Preview) It's 2am and I slept about two hours. I'm so over this BS right now. Yesterday was a bit of a breaking point. I'm ready to throw in the towel on this marriage, my career and myself. I have so little support. I'm actively being undermined by people at work who are supposed to be helping me on a serious project...	WestMan	4	584	May 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	He says he is planning on moving out ending a relationship moving out break up (Preview) My fiancé of 2 years told me tonight that he is planning on moving out. I have been in recovery (al-anon) for one month and I feel like there is hope for me as a person as well as our relationship since joining Al-anon, going to meetings, and getting a sponsor. But now he says he is planning on moving out of ou...	Wilady8	4	2593	May 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	I paid $1250 for every month I was married (Preview) I'm happy I got divorced but still mad about the money I had to give my ex. I lived in small places and drove old cars to save for retirement as a single mom and put my daughter through college. He got the house and $100k from my IRA. I get to be divorced. In the long run I know I'll be fine financially, and that...	Mcat54	7	727	May 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	do i speak up? (Preview) A relative with family 3 kids, moved in with my us. Idea was to help both families. For the most part it is good. But, a big but. Ive been thinking and praying over this for about 2 months. I go to 2-3 meetings per week, working hard to take care of myself, (self care so foreign for me). Any input ?? Wha...	runi	12	674	May 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	CONSEQUENCES (Preview) In response to a lot of my posts, I often hear that I am putting too much focus on him and not enough on me. very true. And I also hear "the question..what are YOU going to do?" So over the last two years I have had boundaries which took awhile to put in use, but now I do great. He is actively in AA for 7 months but h...	Aerin	8	461	May 12, 2017 by runi
	He stopped wanting to have sex sex running away (Preview) My fiancé who has been in AA , 11 years sober, has completely stopped approaching me for sex or wanting to have sex. It has been over 2 weeks which may not seem like very long but its the longest we have gone. When I bring it up he says he just doesn't want to. I ask him why and he says he has built a wall up and he do...	Wilady8	14	646	May 12, 2017 by Bo
	Hope for Today May 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about forgiveness and the freedom it brings us. It's also a reminder that forgiveness isn't always finite- we may forgive ourselves or others only to have old resentments come back to us. It is suggested that revisiting and working the steps is a way to fre...	yanksfan51	4	542	May 11, 2017 by hotrod
	update on court hearing (Preview) I just got back from my 2-hour hearing, and wanted to share with you all... the judge accepted my parenting plan as is, and stated in court that it was apparent that my AH has a drinking problem and is not doing anything about it, and that she found me to be a credible witness. She commented that many pare...	oceanpine	5	505	May 11, 2017 by hotrod
	Dealing With Personalities At Meetings (Preview) How have you all dealt with people at meetings that you found to be disruptive, or disrespectful? I recently missed a number of meetings in a row due to illness. Initially, I had something I could spread, then some of the symptoms died down, but not others, and a doctor visit was in order to be sure I di...	Funkified	12	780	May 11, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Retraining my focus (Preview) One thing that has been really difficult for me to do is take the focus off of other people and putting it on me. I can talk about things in my life, what I'm doing, what my schedule is, however when I first came to Alanon I could not tell someone what my favorite color was, what kind of movies I liked, books I...	SerenityRUS	16	682	May 11, 2017 by Junenine
	ODAT in Al-Anon Daily Reading 5/11/17 (Preview) Good morning all and sorry for the late post of a daily reading! I've had little people spend the night and it certainly changes up my morning routine. I've left my Courage to Change at my meeting so we have One Day at a Time in Al-Anon for today. The reading discusses what stands between us and serenity...	Iamhere	4	1808	May 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Funny, but not. (Preview) So I have mouthwash in our bathroom. We were going through it like crazy! All this time, I thought it was my son (you know, being a teen and all). Last Saturday I bought another bottle of mouthwash... except this time it was a brand name, and had ZERO ALCOHOL in bold, large print on the label. Not only that,...	PosiesandPuppies	4	507	May 11, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Doing the Emotional Work .. (Preview) I did a HUGE disservice to my XAH while we were together because I did the emotional work of ALL of his relationships .. this went from me to his family. Apparently I deemed it my duty because I had a uterus that it was my "job". Something I look at today is again we are back to the issue of meddling, fixing a...	SerenityRUS	4	518	May 11, 2017 by Bo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.