I'd like to introduce myself and summarize my story.  I'm in my 50's and am married with two daughters.  I grew up in a typically dysfunctional alcoholic house with a father who was violent and a mother who was clinically depressed.  I loved them both very much and still do.; although, my dad passed two years ago.  My dad was a sporadic AA'er who was in and out when I was a kid.  He stopped drinking for good after I joined AA when I was 23.  After I joined the whole family jumped on the band wagon, and it was a utopia of recovery until it wasn't.  My dad started going to AA again, my sister followed six months later after I spoke to her following an incident with a married boyfriend outside our home who didn't want my sister talking to his wife, my mom started going to families anonymous and Al-Anon, and within a couple years my brother was off to his first rehab.  I was super sober-man bringing the whole family to recovery.  The only thing missing was the cape but my ego, self-importance, and insanity made up for any deficiencies in the costume.

Meanwhile I got married to my college sweetheart who due to her own alcoholic upbringing was not sensible enough to run for the hills.  Her dad entered AA when she was a senior in high school, and her mom Al-Anon a couple years before that.   As time progressed my wife was in and out of Al-Anon, now firmly in, I stayed with AA, and we both did a lot of counseling where it started to dawn on me that I was nuts.  

My dad didn't drink but never really moved beyond king baby faze, and my mom was not granted parole until his death two years ago.  My sister had an affair with a guy I sponsored and both went back out drinking.  My brother burned up his liver and died this past December; he turned 55 on his death bed.  So much for super sober-man.

Prior to my brother dying I was back at a counselor talking to her about how much of my life has been eaten up by others problems and how upset they get when I try to distance myself from those problems.  Everyone seemed to live their life as they choose, yes it has ended badly for them, but I'm the only one who has taken responsibility for my recovery.  I told that counselor I wasn't there to complain, I was there to stop the pattern.  Then my brother went into the hospital for a couple months dying, and I stepped up as I should have.  But I'm exhausted and sad.

I've got my own family, a high stress job where I work a lot of overtime, a daughter in college and one going into high school, and I'm trying to make amends to my wife, who tells me I'm a good husband and father, for years of my untreated or partially treated co-dependency and all the anger and obsession that comes with it.  My mother who is 79 and has a host of untreated emotional issues has become my responsibility.  The fact that she has lost her husband and son within the last two years has not made her saner.  Unfortunately, taking care of her is a good fit for me.  I've been doing it since I was a kid and in some ways having my dad gone makes it easier; however, being the ever untreated Al-Anoner she still likes to complain to me about him like he's still in the living room on the lazy boy.  I keep telling her, um he's dead mom.  Since his death, I've gone from having two daughters to three with the 79 year old one being the most dependent.  

My AA sponsor is also a long time Al-Anoner, and I have gone to a few meeting myself.  Obviously from my story, I qualify but I have to say that I often feel I need an Al-Al-Anon program: one that helps me not go crazy for the untreated Al-Anoner in my life.  

Anyway, I will stop and thank you to anyone who has read such a long post from a Newbie.  I understand that this is an Al-Anon board, and will do my best to keep AA out of it as I only wanted to include it as part of my story.  Also, John Brady is not my real name so I hope I'm within the rules of breaking others anonymity.   If not please correct me as I'm new to forum recovery.

Thank you for allowing me to share part of my story.