The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about forgiveness and the freedom it brings us. It's also a reminder that forgiveness isn't always finite- we may forgive ourselves or others only to have old resentments come back to us. It is suggested that revisiting and working the steps is a way to free ourselves from old grudges or resentments. The first sentence of the Thought for the Day sums these thoughts up perfectly: "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
What I have noticed is that when there are some resentments that need my attention and revisiting, something will show up in a dream. I am thinking of the importance of being aware of our resentments, accepting them, and taking action (through the steps) in order to live freely and focus on our life's plan.
Good morning Mary forgiveness is certainly a great topic. I know I finally grasped the importance of this powerful tool while I was working the fourth and fifth step. It became evident that my anger, resentment, self-pity and fear were all based on how I thought somebody did me wrong and had not lived up to my expectations. It was evident thatif I did not forgive, I was going to continue hurting myself, which was very destructive and ruin my life and any chance I had of being happy, joyful and free.
There is a reading in the ODA T that points out that we should forgive ourselves first holding on and judging and that it then becomes easier to forgive others. I did that. I am so grateful for this program and for the fantastic tools that set me free. Today I do not judge or blame anybody. I keep the focus on myself and attempt to face whatever I discover within so that I can enjoy life on life's terms.
Thanks for your service. I hope you have a lovely day
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you Mary and Betty for your shares and ESH. I do recall many moments in life where I thought that what had just occurred was unforgivable!!!!!!! Of course, this was my own EGO suggesting that what was done was done to intentionally scar me and ... well - it was all about me.
Then I came to recovery. It was suggested that the actions of others truly had nothing to do with me, but rather was about them - their insecurities, their thoughts, their ..... - I was just caught up in the crossfire. It was also suggested that forgiveness wasn't about them, but rather about freeing me from the baggage of anger, hate, resentments, etc.
I can say that I first had many Yeah, But ........ thoughts. It took me a while to truly understand how damaging it is/was to hold onto past events, past resentments and past hurts. For me, the inability to forgive blocked me from the sunlight of the spirit. It was as if there was a perpetual black cloud hanging around my head and for me, negative thinking patterns evolve into negation outlooks, emotions, reactions, etc. When I learned to let things go, forgive myself and others and focus on what's good in my life, the cloud went away!
Allowing others to know me and my truth has also been a by-product of forgiveness. Free to be me is a great, great feeling! We have lovely weather again today - hope your day is awesome and blessed!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
it's Friday here already... and we are well into Autumn... but what the heck! I read this thread two days ago, but wanted to also consult my HFT before sharing- so here ah is... ...
I always had trouble with the word 'forgiveness' and tossed about ideas about my right to forgive others. Maybe I thought is was my Hp's job to do this. Recently a word popped up which i liked, and which described something I was already thinking. The word is ~levity~. To be relaxed and happy about stuff always seemed to far beyond my reach. But slowly this crept up on me, as, just as slowly depression and pain declined...
...ah aint stopped over here to discuss this work- just to mention it. here again- my inclination to ram ideas down other people's throats seems to have diminished. I might say too that this inclination may not have bin too obvious... but it was a strong part of my outlook on life- which i tried to restrain... ...
so applying a spirit of levity was something that appealed to me... still working this one through...
Hi David Thanks for your thoughts. In thinking about "Levity" I realized that could not begin to connect wth the levity within, while I held on to anger, resentments and judgments. When I finally decided to "forgive ' and let go of my anger etc. I was set free to feel the levity, joy and peace that surrounded me. Great thread thanks everyone
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