|
|
Canine vs. Human
(Preview)
Hello all, Today was a crappy day not trying to complain there are bigger things to piss and moan about. It started out my dog got sick took to the vet .Vet called back my dog died.Broken hearted I'm stund. Why in life does it take lossing somebody,something tha...
|
WStar
|
5
|
707
|
|
|
|
i am new
(Preview)
Hi,
I am brand new to the whole Al-anon thing. I am still trying to figure it all out. I attended my first face to face meeting last nite.
Does anyone have any suggestions on where to start? i feel so lost and hopeless.
I grew up in an alcoholic household. I never realized how it affected me.
I have n...
|
trishlafish
|
8
|
824
|
|
|
|
going on.....alone?
(Preview)
I started this program in March. I was at my bottom, yet I couldn't see up, isn't that ironic. 3 months into this program & it has given me important guidelines. My hub hasn't changed, & I don't know that he will. I do know I've changed.
I used to be angr...
|
De Anna
|
6
|
630
|
|
|
|
STARTED ALANON
(Preview)
When I started Alanon, he still was drinking. Our cat died and we were fighting so I left and went to the diner and called him to see how he was doing he started screaming and yelling, so I hung up the phone and ate my diner. He wanted something to eat so I brought something to eat and when I came home he had hate...
|
nycbt
|
1
|
393
|
|
|
|
Really getting steps one and two
(Preview)
I feel like I am really starting to get steps one and two. My husband has been making a lot of poor choices, but I have not tried to correct him. Even when he asks my opinion I tell him to weight out his options and make his own decisions. his pick up truck is about to be repossessed Friday...
|
Powerless
|
5
|
709
|
|
|
|
Run Through The Rain
(Preview)
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We al...
|
kismetstrand
|
5
|
780
|
|
|
|
Even a dog can be conditioned to starve
(Preview)
Said to me by my co-worker this morning as we talked.
He said that he has alot of emotional scars from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents
He got alot of physical and mental pain and is struggling with his emotions over it.
I gave him my "Hope for Today" book.
Its an okay book but not too...
|
megan
|
1
|
543
|
|
|
|
my life story
(Preview)
The things that are posted in section our my life story which I broke down into section hoping that I could help some of you out there. An it is good to hear feed back.
Thanks
|
nycbt
|
1
|
515
|
|
|
|
A called/update
(Preview)
Hi, well I was not sure how to respond when A did call. I saw it was him and took a
breath. I said hello, he immediately said how are you? I changed the subject quickly.
I told him I will not be telling him anything about me. Neither will my loved ones. That
I have learned who really loves me the last fe...
|
debilyn
|
5
|
779
|
|
|
|
taking the blame again!
(Preview)
ok, my A decided NOT to go to the bar, and somehow, I know I will be blamed for this! I will be blamed b/c I didn't tell him which bar to go to! All I said was how I would like it if he stayed close to home, and didn't drive to the bar he used to go to which is across town. We moved, so now he is further away from that bar...
|
lilleah
|
5
|
775
|
|
|
|
my adopted father
(Preview)
ALCOHOLIC FATHER
My foster father turned adopted father was also an alcoholic. When my adopted father drank, I was upset, angry, and very disappointed in him. I lost trust in any promises he had. I wouldn’t believe anything he said when it came to going anywhere. I would wait outside for him and he wo...
|
nycbt
|
2
|
692
|
|
|
|
Adolescent Treatment Facility......
(Preview)
I am not sure if any of you are familiar with this place. However, thought I'd share it with you, as it is a rehabilitation center for teens with substance abuse. I went there last week to see what they offered for adolescents. I wanted to stay--it was phenomena...
|
sanddie
|
0
|
532
|
|
|
|
RICK’S SON MOVED IN
(Preview)
RICK’S SON MOVED IN
In Jan of 2004 Feb. his son moved into a very small apt. He was supposed to be there for a little while. Rick drank so bad when he moved in her would start fighting and naming calling. He would start hanging out with people that were also drinkers. Two of them were drunk all the...
|
nycbt
|
0
|
459
|
|
|
|
hi-sorry I haven't posted in awhile
(Preview)
sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I had my baby 6wks ago and have been very busy. How is everyone? My A was good for awhile, he didn't go out all the time, and we would go together, but now he is blaming me for not going anywhere, and just being generally miserable. He has told me about 3 times recently that he...
|
lilleah
|
2
|
656
|
|
|
|
PROUD OF ME
(Preview)
I am proud of the progress that I have made in the last six months.
My tempter: I have been getting very good with that. I haven't thrown glass, cut my self, only a couple of times started screaming. I have calm down quicker then I used to.
I am trying to work on the things I like to do like reading, sittin...
|
nycbt
|
3
|
646
|
|
|
|
Decisions
(Preview)
Hi,
Just thinking today. I talked to the kids about what they want, and they basically told me it is my decision. They told me they love him and wish he would sober up. They said that they would prefer he wasn't with his parents becasue it is hard to even call him, as they answer the phone, and none of them w...
|
Jeannie
|
8
|
729
|
|
|
|
Not sure how to proceed
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted recently, I have been running around helping get ready for the Proms and Graduation. My sons Prom was on Friday night, he looked so handsome and of course I cried. His girlfriend looked lovely and they had a wonderful time. One down, one more Prom next weekend and two gra...
|
Jeannie
|
8
|
873
|
|
|
|
A Great Success...
(Preview)
Hiya Everyone,
Well we have closed on our new home. Myself and 5 teens moved all day on Friday to get us in there but we are in. Husband came home from work and couldnt believe that we pulled it all off in one day without him. He wasnt able to help with the move because of work...
|
AlaMom
|
8
|
733
|
|
|
|
Isolation
(Preview)
I posted the other night about how hubby and I had gone to a friends and it ended up with me not ever wanting to go out like that again.
Well I was upset and angry about what had happend and I don't think that I made the situation clear.
Hubby had gone a week with out getting drunk and I had had reserv...
|
jj
|
3
|
483
|
|
|
|
Hello out there!!!
(Preview)
Hello, my name is Jenny. This is my first post to this board, reading other messages here the last few days has helped me. Hopefully sharing this will help others as well as myself. I'd also like to meet some people here who could provide good examples and share support.
I live with my husband who is an a...
|
Jolert
|
8
|
797
|
|
|
|
Talent Show
(Preview)
http://www.12stepforums.net/mid/musicballs.wmv
Click the Link Above and put a smile on your face.
John
|
John
|
2
|
687
|
|
|
|
HELP
(Preview)
My hubby stepped over the line a few nights ago. He physically harmed my 23 year old son. (Son is okay now but he did have to go to ER and we had to watch him for concussion.) Hubby is out of the house and I have stated he has to go for help if he wants to be here in this relationship and family...
|
kismetstrand
|
13
|
569
|
|
|
|
New to Board - Need Advice
(Preview)
I am a 25 year old male in Iowa. I have never really ever drank myself because of my mom. She had me in high school and then got pregant again 6 years later and got married. Then she had another baby early and he died a few months later of SIDS and that was hard on her, then she got divorced and had a...
|
chad79
|
9
|
862
|
|
|
|
He's gone
(Preview)
My husband moved out June 1st to a new town and a new job. We agreed on this date because it was after our last son's high school graduation and I would be on a trip. We didn't talk to each other for a week. He had originally said that he didn't want to talk to me or do anything with me for a year. Now, that is extre...
|
nmike
|
5
|
813
|
|
|
|
kis
(Preview)
Been thinking and praying for you. What a hard thing to deal with. I know you
love your family very much and do your best for them.
One thing Kis that I have to say, abuse is NOT from being an alcoholic. It is a totally
separate problem. Same as if they cheat, totally not from being A.
Even if the...
|
debilyn
|
1
|
589
|
|
|
|
FRIENDS/God
(Preview)
Since I ave join the Alanon program, I have gain more friends. It is nice to have people I can talk to. A place where I feel safe. A place I know that they will not judge me. What every I tell them they understand because they have been there.
Lately I have been opening up in the face to face meeting wh...
|
nycbt
|
0
|
472
|
|
|
|
Detachment
(Preview)
I was just reading Chad's post and while responding I realized how much I had learned in the year I have been here about detachment.
When I first started I believed detachment meant, put a big wall up between you and don't do anything for them. I completely missed the with love part of the...
|
holly123
|
3
|
706
|
|
|
|
SATURDAY
(Preview)
On Saturday I got into a minor accident. I was a little upset but I had faith that everything would work out. I was glad that my hight power was watching over me.
On Saturday I was going through a street that had cars park on both sides and very packed. I went through the street very happy that I made it. Cam...
|
nycbt
|
1
|
559
|
|
|
|
Are we blaming ourselves for the A's actions?
(Preview)
This disease of alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, inciduous disease. As we become increasingly aware of the family disease, many of us discover that we have performed a particular function in our family or group. Friends and family members play a wide variety of supporting roles in the fami...
|
gardengal
|
0
|
589
|
|
|
|
My apartment
(Preview)
I have found an apartment. i filled out the app, left a deposit and am waiting on the credit check
i like the apartment. it is on the third floor on the corner with a view of NYC.
it will cost me $4000 to move in.
I only have $4000 if i do not pay my credit card bill. It is $3000 due to living in the hotel. So I...
|
megan
|
8
|
915
|
|
|
|
Obession
(Preview)
I don't know about any of you but sometimes I get very obessed about things, whether it is eating something I am not supposed to have, or calling someone. It is like something takes over your body and you can't control what is happening. I have lots of obessions that get me into alot of trobule at times.
...
|
nycbt
|
7
|
719
|
|
|
|
you guys are cool!
(Preview)
I was afraid I would get into trouble with my last post. Felt it was negative and not
my usual, forgive the A becuz he is sick.
Was pleasantly surprised at the great responses!! Thank you!
SMOINKS, SMOINKS, SMOINKS!! (smack + oink)
So today I calmly took down our marriage license, took d...
|
debilyn
|
2
|
422
|
|
|
|
Wow, Thanks
(Preview)
I just wanted to thank everyone for their responses to my post "Its working!!!!". I was feeling a little down because friday night yet again he stayed out late at his friends, he was supposed to be home at 6:00 to watch my son but never showed up to releave his family, when I got back from my da...
|
holly123
|
2
|
554
|
|
|
|
Patience
(Preview)
Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are slower than you in developing maturi...
|
Phil
|
1
|
717
|
|
|
|
What the bleep
(Preview)
Hi all,
Howdy!
I promise to put a blurb on site re
the movie, "What the bleep do we
know."
It is a movie that explores the reconstruction
of one's reality. It is based on physical
laws - as one changes their mindset, their
reality shifts. Neurons and sysapses
regroup that affect real...
|
wille
|
1
|
616
|
|
|
|
looking for insight during early "recovery"
(Preview)
Hello all,
I'm in desperate need of insight. Long story short--binge drinking hubby entered a 30 day program in March. Did well there---came out and went on a week binge. Came home humiliated and shamed--started back to AA, calling his rehab friends, etc. Never...
|
mom to 2
|
7
|
1882
|
|
|
|
Surgery update
(Preview)
My son is home in total misery, but the surgery is done. He said it feels like someone hit him in the face with a baseball bat. He has packing in his sinuses and a lovely gauze bandage under his nose for drainage. It's a good thing he's so wiped out or he'd be throwing a fit, saying he look...
|
Christy
|
4
|
597
|
|
|
|
infuriated again..
(Preview)
I'm sitting here at 1:40 a.m. and of course, my A has not come back from the bar yet (where he's been for the last almost 10 hours--a 'short' outing for him)... It truly burns me that he can't make it home right after the bar closes. Where does he go? Honestly, thoughts race from him walking ho...
|
Donna
|
9
|
754
|
|
|
|
Strange night
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
Last night was so odd I need to share it, perhaps someone will have some comment or something.
i needed to get out of the house and asked my A (sober for 2 weeks but not in program) if he was up to going to see a band at a neighborhood theatre with me. They do serve beer there and I would have...
|
Jolert
|
4
|
443
|
|
|
|
Life spiraling out of control
(Preview)
I have started on my increased dosage of Prozac...hope it helps. the therapist told me to keep taking it and accept teh fact that I am depressed. I explained to her that I felt it was the most useless of emotions. I am just trying to wait it out and wait for things to get better. I...
|
Powerless
|
3
|
550
|
|
|
|
Please help me understand
(Preview)
I know a lot is becuz of my situation right now. Waiting for the ultra sound the 14th
is pretty rough. Limbo is hard on us all.
I woke at five am and drove to see A. He was very nice and appropriate. I mean he
was empathetic and loving.
Says he is clean and sober. Again I say that is not my concern. B...
|
debilyn
|
6
|
484
|
|
|
|
Are we ready to face reality?
(Preview)
Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for the disappointment.
Living with A's many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense o...
|
gardengal
|
2
|
772
|
|
|
|
Prayer Request Please
(Preview)
My 15 yr old son is having surgery in the morning (7 a.m.) on his sinuses. I understand it's nothing major, but he's my baby and I'd sure feel better with some extra prayers.
I just reread the paper the doctor gave me of possible complications, and OMG!..I shouldn't have..lol&nb...
|
Christy
|
7
|
471
|
|
|
|
Communication??
(Preview)
Hi Everyone,
What a surprise I had today!! Yesterday was a really difficult day for me, because I felt so misunderstood. We got up early in the morning, and my husband asked me to take a walk before breakfast. When we came back home, he decided to pull out weeds, so I ate breakfast alone.&...
|
teddybear
|
3
|
638
|
|
|
|
books
(Preview)
Hi all,
I was wondering what are the best books for a newcomer. I don't have alot of time (three kids) but know I need to start finding anwers. Also I don't go to face to face meetings. I am only onthis website. I have seen then here to oder but MY A dosen't like ordering over the...
|
nikkilou
|
4
|
628
|
|
|
|
today these are my thoughts
(Preview)
You know, I feel like, if my A wanted help, he would get it. He is choosing to allow
the disease to kill him. He is choosing not to be there for me. He chose not to be there for his
dieing brother.
I for one say I have had it. I hope I cont. to feel this way. I love him, I love how I
love him. But it is wasted...
|
debilyn
|
3
|
629
|
|
|
|
What Would you do??
(Preview)
So Hubby and I got invited to a friends house, just supposed to be like a family thing with the kids. So any how I was informed this mornig that no kids were to be there and they were going to have this party rather than just a get together.... So of course going through ever thing that I am right...
|
jj
|
5
|
850
|
|
|
|
Wasted Time
(Preview)
I went outside for a few minutes last night, just to let the dog out before I went to bed. Sat on the front steps, the streetlight was shining through the trees, and it brought back the memories of a night, ten years or so ago.
At this point my husband was drinking heavily, spending most of his evenings...
|
lin0606
|
3
|
783
|
|
|
|
7pm Sunday meeting
(Preview)
i can't chair this meeting as the MIRC does not work through the hotel firewall.
If someone else can chair please do
I am sorry.
|
megan
|
0
|
509
|
|
|
|
A little quote
(Preview)
"Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt."
Mary McLeod Bethune
I see this quote as very true, because when I have resentment or if I am unable to forgive, the only person that I am hurting is really myself. The person who we resent, does not...
|
teddybear
|
2
|
542
|
|
|
|
grief clouds it
(Preview)
i have filed for divorce. i am living at home, my husband has moved out. when i filed his tune changed---he would do anything--but of course that was limited to one marriage counseling session, only one month of sobriety that would only happen if i let him come home and of course, no long term help...
|
lost
|
5
|
806
|
|
|
|
mirror, mirror on the wall....
(Preview)
I Am Finding Me Who is it in this mirror that stands in front of me is that really who I am or someone I just see is she really something of anything I am inside or just another mask put on just another place to hide she's someone I think I love now that I've let her close she's the one I pushed away I've deserted h...
|
elizabeth
|
1
|
619
|
|
|
|
A real smell here or ?
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm curious. My A has been drinking for 15 years and more (I've been with him for 15). Anyway, I don't know if it's just the addiction or what but I have seen him really lapse in his hygiene habits over the years. It makes me feel like his mother when I point out that he maybe needs to bathe...
|
Donna
|
6
|
875
|
|
|
|
Megan
(Preview)
Megan, I just read your reply to my post. I have been reading here for a while. I have been reading what you have been doing and I am so glad for your truck! Also that you will have an apartment. When I go away for a few days I think a hotel is nice but after about the third night I want my own bed. And to have my jeep...
|
whatif
|
1
|
367
|
|
|
|
my progress with friends
(Preview)
Six months ago I had two guy friends. Today I have lots of girlfriends on and off line. I am proud of my self with the progress I have made. I am also happy with the help of my new friends from Alanon that I can talk to an express my life with.
|
nycbt
|
3
|
508
|
|
|
|
Its working!!!!
(Preview)
Hi All,
I am noticing so much change in myself, I have been trying to control my mouth and keep my mind on myself. My a is still active and still does things that make me want to strangle him but I have managed to maintain this calm, just don't react attitude for 95% of the week....
|
holly123
|
5
|
456
|
|
|
|
2nd update
(Preview)
Sending love to ya's.
I saw a REAL doctor today. My doc is gone for 3 weeks. Her nurse was so nice. the
doc came in and she was so nice too! Made me feel right at ease. My blood pressure
was not high like it is when I see my doc. My doc is a young man and his nurse
is a bit of a crabby old lady...
Anyway...
|
debilyn
|
5
|
773
|
|
|
|
Just getting by
(Preview)
Hi...it's been a long week, but I finally feel like I'm finding a few moments to take care of myself. I've been enjoying my granddaughter, but have called and enrolled her in daycare duing the day, as all the family are busy elsewhere. (Don't they realize what a gift this time is with her vi...
|
Belongtome
|
1
|
592
|
|
|
|
I have noticed change already/ update
(Preview)
So you all know that the "talk" went very well.
Lastnight I fully expected hubby to go out and get bommed as a result of the talk. I was told by a friend that it is very common that the A's do that while trying to digest everything and then and only then would he come to me. Well I also kno...
|
jj
|
1
|
704
|
|
|
|
Quote for Today
(Preview)
"No man is a failure who is enjoying life"---William Feather
(Enjoying yourself and life, is one of the best forms of detachment there is!)
|
wallsal55
|
0
|
336
|
|