This disease of alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, inciduous disease. As we become increasingly aware of the family disease, many of us discover  that we have performed a particular function in our family or group. Friends and family members play a wide variety of supporting roles in the family disease, all of which attempt to control the uncontrollable disease of alcoholism and to bring order into the unpredictable and often explosive living or working environment. We dont recoginze that, byr playing our part, we actually contribute to sustaining the disease of alcoholism. We may serve as the enabler, rescuing the A from unpleasant consequences of his or her own making. Or we may play the victim, unwillingly stepping in and covering for the A which is too drunk or hung over to fulfill his job or family responsibilities. Perhaps we find that our role has been to take the blame whenever anything else goes wrong, even when we werent remotely involved. Others provide comic relief, servingto create a light hearted distraction from the sorrow of life in an alcoholic home. And some of us provoke, ventting our pent up frusteration and resentment, providing ourselves with our growing bitterness.

All of these supporting roles work together to maintain a balance which the A can continue to play his or her role with little discomfort as possible. Thus, when any member of this alcoholic circle stops playing his her her part, the entire group is affected. I spent many years blaming myself for what has happened in my life with my A and made myself to beleive that anything that went wrong, I was somehow to blame, even tho I was not directly involved. Sad how this disease affects the dynamics of the family situation, and by detaching ourselves from their behaviour, and only taking responsiblity for our own, we can start to live a somewhat normal life whether the A is still drinking or not. I hope this reading I posted helps some of you look at your role in this disease, and stop blaming ourselves  for the A's actions, as so many of us have for so many years.,,,,,,,,,,Keep coming back gardengal