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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My apartment
Post Info TOPIC: My apartment
megan


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My apartment
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I have found an apartment. i filled out the app, left a deposit and am waiting on the credit check


i like the apartment. it is on the third floor on the corner with a view of NYC.


it will cost me $4000 to move in.


I only have $4000 if i do not pay my credit card bill. It is $3000 due to living in the hotel. So I took a check from another credit card to pay it. the other credit card sent me checks with a 1.99 apr. then after i move in and the money flow catchs up i will apy off the credit card.
I am new to managing money. my a always did it.


we went for a mountain bike ride yesterday and i asked him  for my half of our money (my therapist told me to do this)


he said the money was in his name and was his and that he had earned it (we BOTh did over the 14 years) he made 2 1/2 times what i made but he hasn't worked in 3 years and NJ is a community property state.


my therapist said that in 10 years he can easily go through 1 mill and i believe her.


i guess it is time to call the lawyer that my sister suggested to me.


Is there any was for me to get my half before the divorce?- 18 months of separation in NJ is required before filing for divorce.


i could do it quicker but i would have to do it for "cause" ie alcoholism...and i am not ready today to do that.


any links to online legal info?


 


thanks for listening


megan



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
david62


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Hi (((((Megan)))))


When I was going through my divorce I found this website very helpful:


www.freeadvice.com


Hope it can offer you some help.  I'm not sure how it is in your state, but here were I am, you could get those funds frozen so that they wouldn't all "disappear" during that 18 month waiting period. 


I would certainly suggest contacting that lawyer too! 


Glad to hear your getting an appartment...and the view sounds lovely...


Take care of yourself!


Yours in Recovery,


David



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Laughter is the Beginning of Healing
megan


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Thank-you very much David


my husband said he would take his money and hide it, or buy a house with it and then he said lets not talk about the money


thank-you for the info and the link and the hugs



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
wille


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Awesome on the new pad Megan,
Sit face to face with a lawyer. You
have rights that go beyond live in
relationships. I'm glad your counselor
is a girl. She knows what she is
saying. Me and my a appear to be
reinventing what we had under
healthier circumstance this time.
I closed the purse strings and asked
him what is he thinking, as gentle as
I could and he split.
I'd not look for online advise - I have
to take classes online and loops do
take place online that can prove to be
quite expensive. Face to face with a
lawyer is the way to go. Bite the
bullet - g g has a free minded post
that suggests to not bury the head
in the sand no more. To face it. I
had to with my a-s behavioral responses
with me.
I had to face it with the Department
of Education when they try to freeze me
out, by face it I mean say no to them
and yes to me, to take a stand for me.
Recovery is about you.
You go girl!
Oceans of love,
\/\/ille


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wille
bcanuck


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hi Megan


Awesome news on finding the apartment.  One big step of many you will take I am sure. 


I don't know much about law but I would think that no matter how he tries to hide it, i.e. buying a house, you are entitled to half.  I guess a worst case scenario would be if he just spent it frivilously on vacations or the like, or of course drinks it away.  Perhaps a lawyer can help have all the assets "frozen" until things can be settled?  Good luck to you my friend.


Bonnie



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Bonnie
megan


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Than-you Wille and Bonnie


I will call the lawyer and make an appointment today



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Jeannie


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Megan,


I wish you well with the new apartment.


As far as the money, you are right NJ is a community property state, and you are entitled to your share, it doesn't matter whose name the money is in you are married.


I agree with the others, a lawyer or even family court can probably get you the money or at least have it frozen before the divorce.


Enjoy getting ready for your move and planning to decorate your new apartment.


                                         Love Jeannie



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megan


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Thank-you Jeanne for the kind words.


I am looking forward to decorating my apartment.


I never lived alone.


I am looking forward to that too


Thanks for the info about NJ and community property



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
nycbt


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Good luck your new apt. I know you are going to make it. It is going to be really hard at times being lonely but you have people on line and me to help you through it. Don't forget you have your family also help you.


I am glad that you got you are planning your future. Rember take you time figuring out the bills. Rember ask the company to have automative with draw and then you wont have to worry about writing out the check.


Becky



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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
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