The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel like I am really starting to get steps one and two. My husband has been making a lot of poor choices, but I have not tried to correct him. Even when he asks my opinion I tell him to weight out his options and make his own decisions. his pick up truck is about to be repossessed Friday. I spent a few days worrying over how I am going to come up with the money to save the truck and then realized...it's not my truck and I don't depend on it for transportation. He is currently unemployed. He has lost three jobs in as many months. If he gets a job, great. If he doesn't, we will be no worse off than we are now. My HP is seeing me through.
That's great you are doing so well. How will your A respond if and when the truck gets repossessed?
I am in an interesting situation at the moment. My AH is just out of rehab and he is just not staying sober---to many issues to get into. On Sat he left the house and never came home--never called until Mon night and said he was going to go see the addiction specialist on Wed at 2pm but of course did not. I have 2 small children and depend on him to watch them while I work and I am in a bind for babysitters but I don't care. I have been decluttering the crap he never gets to---I have thrown out at least 20 bags of junk that he has accumulated. I am clearing his crap out of the spare bedroom because I may ask my mom to move in with us. My hubby called about an hour ago and said "I want too come home". I said no. He said "what" and I again said no, to which he responded "Why?" And I said because you got out of rehab 6 weeks ago and have binged 3 times---which I must say is about 100 times worse than before rehab. So he just said goodbye and hung up the phone. I feel great about it. I have a babysitter for work tomorrow and then I am off Fri, Sat, Sun and Mon and Tues. I don't have to worry for 6 days about who will watch my babies.
My house is becoming decluttered along with my head. For the first time in my life I know what will be will be regardless of my actions. That being said, I want him to be sober and happy---but if he's not we will be fine. Now I just have to find a great but cheap babysitter who doesn't mind me working 3-11p.
You both are doing a great job "detaching" and even "with love."
For me, and it sounds like for you also, you are realizing what is your responsibility and what is not. For me, I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders when I no longer had to take own other's responsibility. I surrendered and it's great.
Stop and enjoy your progress and keep coming,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I know how hard it is to make a decision to not help your A like that. Mine is now recieving phone calls from whatever loans he took out when he was drinking/using in the last few months. Since I did not know about them and it was his choice I have decided for a change to let them be his problem. It is dificult but somehow easier than swallowing the anger I have felt before finding a way to pay them. Thanks for sharing, it's easier knowing I am not alone.
