Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I remember someone mentioning a book about living with an alcoholic spouse but can't for the life of me remember the title. Anyone? I have a long wait at the hospital this week so I figured I would use my time wisely. Any other suggestions would be great too. Thanks!

JustForMeNow · JustForMeNow

I'm very new to this. I have no background with alcoholism or addiction. I'm taking a crash course with my husband. I have 2 children, 11 and 7. While he told our 11 year old daughter I feel like both kids need to know more. He isn't taking responsibility like he said he would and he has been very angry and...

Lyne · Lyne

Courage & Freedom-The writer today speaks of courage and freedom that he has been given through having a Higher Power. Where he once hesitated and felt helpless, has changed into recognizing that a miracle has already happened. His Higher Power gives him a freedom to make choices, and he is no...

A nother · A nother

Hi again. My husband has decided to plan ahead for a wedding he is attending next week and book himself into the hotel. I have a night away from him (I desperately want to move into my own place with the children so i am completely away from his chaos, but have agreed to wait 6 months so he can get used to the id...

Overcome · Overcome

August 6, 2018MONDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: Is it pity, love or co-dependence. How to know the difference. The 3 A's: Awareness, Acceptance, Action. Open topic as it relates to alcoholism and living with the alcoholic.The website link to the group meeting room is ht...

hotrod · hotrod

A Business meeting was held in the alanon chat room 8- 5i n order to review on line meeting protocols and obtain directions as to "ops status and establish char responsibilities. We discussed banning members or booting them from the chat room and it was agreed that these tools must only be used in dr...

Mcgreuder · Mcgreuder

This is my first experience with al-anon. My husband is not a full-blown alcoholic, but it doesn't seem that there are any outlets (except possibly here) to discuss my issues and get ideas of how to deal with him. He drinks most nights...a few beers if it's a work night, more on weekends. He has these...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting this reading overview for Looking up The Odat reading for today, 8-4 speaks about our our unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves. It points out by relying on this "Defect" we often become angry and DISAPPOINTED because other do not live up to OUR expectations, i have found th...

WestMan · WestMan

Hi all. Been a minute since I last came in here. Just to recap I'm single-dad, ExAW seems to be continuing in recovery and has the kids about 40% of the time. I moved us back in from the country so that we could be closer to work and their school. The kids go to a charter school in our town. I have three kids olde...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, I wasn't broken when i came here- but my home group was. My mum always taught me- when we get bucked off a horse- get straight back on. If my Alanon group was a horse- I needed to tend to the bleeding and bruises first- before getting back on. I knew when I came- that MIP Alanon did not have a...

Connection · Connection

thank you

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So, it's been a LONG two weeks between hormones, oldest going to hospital and youngest going to visit friends, my dad popping up from the dead is what a couple friends are saying, I am going through other stuff as well. I am just highly overwhelmed and yet ok too. Yesterday another what I call forest fi...

Iwantthemiddle · Iwantthemiddle

Hi everyone, so I finally had the chance to attend a f2f Al-Anon meeting last night but it was cancelled :( so I attended the AA meeting instead as I was invited to stay. So I find it hard calling my Dad, Mum and husband alcoholics. When I listened to the alcoholics last night they drank day in day out all day...

bud · bud

Hi MIP family, I'm writing from Alaska, where I've enjoyed working the past week. I love it here and am feeling really blessed! I have mixed feelings left over from when my sister called me the other day. She's unstable and looking for attention. I've told her many times that I do not wish to receive phon...

A nother · A nother

I'm new to this so please be gentle. I rang Al anon a few weeks ago who gave me the details of a local meeting, but I've 3 children under 10 and daren't leave them at the moment. I will sort something out after the holidays though. I could do with some advice though, because I can't think clearly at the mome...

Aloha · Aloha

I am so glad I remembered the MIP message board. I don't know why it fell off my radar for a couple of years, but so glad to be back. One thing I had fun doing was going back and viewing my old posts from my very first post here (back in 2007!), which reminded me that I had started getting unsettled by the alcoho...

hotrod · hotrod

Reply Quote More Group Business meeting will be held Sunday 8-5 in the Chat Room at 8 PM -- after the regular meeting- We will discuss meeting chairs schedule and any other topic you feel is necessary- See you there

Freetime · Freetime

The writer talks about moving from denial of the alcoholism in her family, to making the family disease the subject of all her conversations. A fellow Al-Anon member pointed out that if we keep living in the past, we are not living in the present. Unlocking the secrets of the past is not meant to place b...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I saw this today and it moved me... I wish I would've seen it when I was questioning if I was doing the right thing a few months back. Since I know we all go through those times of doubt, and that doubt sometimes keeps us "stuck" in re-living the "good times" with our qualifiers so that we can't see another wa...

Hsquared · Hsquared

My partner, or ex-partner possibly, admitted he is an alcoholic and wants to seek help to stop drinking. This happened after he blacked out and woke up with somebody else. He has no recollection, but was clearly functioning throughout the night. Do I believe him that he doesnt remember or had ill-int...

ling · ling

Feel horrible. I can't accept that AH loves drink more than me. My tolerance has gone. Everything's gone down the pan. I'm in torment because I love him immensely. He will always drink and lie. If he gives up he maye drink again and I can't do it as I hate drink so much. I can't deal with it.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading talks about the 2nd tradition of Al-Anon - "For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." The writer shares that often our desire for control can play out i...

leannecph · leannecph

My husband is taking Antabuse to stop him from drinking Vodka. Were on day 8 and going well with the alcohol. Though I suspect he is only managing to not drink because he is buying (his other problem) drugs - cocaine specifically. He has been very affectionate the last few nights and thought it was do...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So my husband who is a problem drinker the other day majorly blew up at me. I had come back from gym in evening after working and he was drinking watching sports in front room with the kids (teens) and he was on the loud side. So I just went in back room, had dinner watched TV. My kids left to go out for a littl...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...

mamalioness · mamalioness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...

hotrod · hotrod

H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...

Lyne · Lyne

Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...

Lyne · Lyne

In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...

lookingup · lookingup

,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....

DavidG · DavidG

Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...

Venus2 · Venus2

I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...

lookingup · lookingup

As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...

JerryF · JerryF

and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...

JerryF · JerryF

Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))

FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic · FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic

My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......

stillgoing · stillgoing

dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...

Lyne · Lyne

Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...

JerryF · JerryF

I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...

JerryF · JerryF

tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...

joker · joker

On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

(Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Reading material (Preview) I remember someone mentioning a book about living with an alcoholic spouse but can't for the life of me remember the title. Anyone? I have a long wait at the hospital this week so I figured I would use my time wisely. Any other suggestions would be great too. Thanks!	Surfergirl	11	591	Aug 6, 2018 by Surfergirl
	talking to children (Preview) I'm very new to this. I have no background with alcoholism or addiction. I'm taking a crash course with my husband. I have 2 children, 11 and 7. While he told our 11 year old daughter I feel like both kids need to know more. He isn't taking responsibility like he said he would and he has been very angry and...	JustForMeNow	6	390	Aug 6, 2018 by JustForMeNow
	C2C, 8/6 (Preview) Courage & Freedom-The writer today speaks of courage and freedom that he has been given through having a Higher Power. Where he once hesitated and felt helpless, has changed into recognizing that a miracle has already happened. His Higher Power gives him a freedom to make choices, and he is no...	Lyne	4	357	Aug 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	What do you do to keep focused on yourself? (Preview) Hi again. My husband has decided to plan ahead for a wedding he is attending next week and book himself into the hotel. I have a night away from him (I desperately want to move into my own place with the children so i am completely away from his chaos, but have agreed to wait 6 months so he can get used to the id...	A nother	5	491	Aug 6, 2018 by Aloha
	Monday morning meeting starting now in chat (Preview) August 6, 2018MONDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: Is it pity, love or co-dependence. How to know the difference. The 3 A's: Awareness, Acceptance, Action. Open topic as it relates to alcoholism and living with the alcoholic.The website link to the group meeting room is ht...	Overcome	1	334	Aug 6, 2018 by hotrod
	Business meeting (Preview) A Business meeting was held in the alanon chat room 8- 5i n order to review on line meeting protocols and obtain directions as to "ops status and establish char responsibilities. We discussed banning members or booting them from the chat room and it was agreed that these tools must only be used in dr...	hotrod	2	334	Aug 5, 2018 by hotrod
	Binge Drinking Husband (Preview) This is my first experience with al-anon. My husband is not a full-blown alcoholic, but it doesn't seem that there are any outlets (except possibly here) to discuss my issues and get ideas of how to deal with him. He drinks most nights...a few beers if it's a work night, more on weekends. He has these...	Mcgreuder	38	11819	Aug 5, 2018 by Mcgreuder
	ODAT reading for 8-4 (Preview) Posting this reading overview for Looking up The Odat reading for today, 8-4 speaks about our our unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves. It points out by relying on this "Defect" we often become angry and DISAPPOINTED because other do not live up to OUR expectations, i have found th...	hotrod	4	358	Aug 5, 2018 by lookingup
	Decision was made but still struggling with it. (Preview) Hi all. Been a minute since I last came in here. Just to recap I'm single-dad, ExAW seems to be continuing in recovery and has the kids about 40% of the time. I moved us back in from the country so that we could be closer to work and their school. The kids go to a charter school in our town. I have three kids olde...	WestMan	9	1585	Aug 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Alanon is the power of many... (Preview) Hi y'all, I wasn't broken when i came here- but my home group was. My mum always taught me- when we get bucked off a horse- get straight back on. If my Alanon group was a horse- I needed to tend to the bleeding and bruises first- before getting back on. I knew when I came- that MIP Alanon did not have a...	DavidG	8	467	Aug 4, 2018 by hotrod
	can someone let me know when the online meetings are held. I could use some supprt (Preview) thank you	Connection	2	434	Aug 4, 2018 by Overcome
	Update on 2 Weeks .. lol (Preview) So, it's been a LONG two weeks between hormones, oldest going to hospital and youngest going to visit friends, my dad popping up from the dead is what a couple friends are saying, I am going through other stuff as well. I am just highly overwhelmed and yet ok too. Yesterday another what I call forest fi...	SerenityRUS	8	461	Aug 4, 2018 by andromeda
	Alcoholic or not alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, so I finally had the chance to attend a f2f Al-Anon meeting last night but it was cancelled :( so I attended the AA meeting instead as I was invited to stay. So I find it hard calling my Dad, Mum and husband alcoholics. When I listened to the alcoholics last night they drank day in day out all day...	Iwantthemiddle	13	875	Aug 3, 2018 by Kcsnooze
	Need help with forgiveness please (Preview) Hi MIP family, I'm writing from Alaska, where I've enjoyed working the past week. I love it here and am feeling really blessed! I have mixed feelings left over from when my sister called me the other day. She's unstable and looking for attention. I've told her many times that I do not wish to receive phon...	bud	15	2052	Aug 3, 2018 by bud
	There's a wedding coming up, I don't want to go. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm new to this so please be gentle. I rang Al anon a few weeks ago who gave me the details of a local meeting, but I've 3 children under 10 and daren't leave them at the moment. I will sort something out after the holidays though. I could do with some advice though, because I can't think clearly at the mome...	A nother	60	2840	Aug 3, 2018 by DavidG
	This message board is a treasture-trove (Preview) I am so glad I remembered the MIP message board. I don't know why it fell off my radar for a couple of years, but so glad to be back. One thing I had fun doing was going back and viewing my old posts from my very first post here (back in 2007!), which reminded me that I had started getting unsettled by the alcoho...	Aloha	4	406	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Business meeting (Preview) Reply Quote More Group Business meeting will be held Sunday 8-5 in the Chat Room at 8 PM -- after the regular meeting- We will discuss meeting chairs schedule and any other topic you feel is necessary- See you there	hotrod	1	365	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/3 (Preview) The writer talks about moving from denial of the alcoholism in her family, to making the family disease the subject of all her conversations. A fellow Al-Anon member pointed out that if we keep living in the past, we are not living in the present. Unlocking the secrets of the past is not meant to place b...	Freetime	3	364	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Good quotes (Preview) I saw this today and it moved me... I wish I would've seen it when I was questioning if I was doing the right thing a few months back. Since I know we all go through those times of doubt, and that doubt sometimes keeps us "stuck" in re-living the "good times" with our qualifiers so that we can't see another wa...	PosiesandPuppies	6	1812	Aug 2, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Advice needed (Preview) My partner, or ex-partner possibly, admitted he is an alcoholic and wants to seek help to stop drinking. This happened after he blacked out and woke up with somebody else. He has no recollection, but was clearly functioning throughout the night. Do I believe him that he doesnt remember or had ill-int...	Hsquared	9	1021	Aug 2, 2018 by Bo
	feeling angry and upset (Preview) Feel horrible. I can't accept that AH loves drink more than me. My tolerance has gone. Everything's gone down the pan. I'm in torment because I love him immensely. He will always drink and lie. If he gives up he maye drink again and I can't do it as I hate drink so much. I can't deal with it.	ling	4	874	Aug 2, 2018 by JerryF
	Courage to Change 8/2/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading talks about the 2nd tradition of Al-Anon - "For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." The writer shares that often our desire for control can play out i...	Iamhere	2	534	Aug 2, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	unsure of what to say or not to say (Preview) My husband is taking Antabuse to stop him from drinking Vodka. Were on day 8 and going well with the alcohol. Though I suspect he is only managing to not drink because he is buying (his other problem) drugs - cocaine specifically. He has been very affectionate the last few nights and thought it was do...	leannecph	3	667	Aug 2, 2018 by JerryF
	What to do when they blow up? (Preview) So my husband who is a problem drinker the other day majorly blew up at me. I had come back from gym in evening after working and he was drinking watching sports in front room with the kids (teens) and he was on the loud side. So I just went in back room, had dinner watched TV. My kids left to go out for a littl...	Dancer66	16	1349	Aug 1, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change August 1 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...	Skorpi	4	1929	Aug 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Happy birthday to Betty (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...	mamalioness	17	631	Aug 1, 2018 by hotrod
	HFT 7-31 (Preview) H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...	hotrod	3	808	Jul 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to move on from a difficult situtaion (Preview) I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...	hopefulmom1	6	915	Jul 31, 2018 by joker
	got in a minor car accident... (Preview) A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...	Hoot Nanny	7	1513	Jul 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Rough two weeks (Preview) It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...	SerenityRUS	11	2192	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Continuing to take care of myself at work (closed) (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...	tiredtonite	18	2174	Jul 30, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Forgiving My Father (Preview) I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...	tiredtonite	7	687	Jul 30, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 7/30 (Preview) Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...	Lyne	4	1441	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope For Today July 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...	yanksfan51	4	318	Jul 29, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Oral surgery (Preview) In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...	Lyne	12	1031	Jul 29, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...	hotrod	0	515	Jul 29, 2018 by hotrod
	CTC 7/28 (Preview) ,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...	lookingup	7	854	Jul 28, 2018 by Aline
	Daughter and family (Preview) Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...	lookingup	6	2002	Jul 28, 2018 by DavidG
	Golden rule vs enabling/rescuing (Preview) H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....	Mcat54	14	3096	Jul 27, 2018 by Bo
	Step 12... (Preview) Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...	DavidG	11	970	Jul 27, 2018 by DavidG
	C2C - 7/27 (Preview) The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...	Freetime	3	1709	Jul 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to save a 30 year marriage (Preview) I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....	Venus2	8	1449	Jul 27, 2018 by Doingmybest
	Well.....there's fear....and that's fun (Preview) Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...	andromeda	17	2465	Jul 27, 2018 by mamalioness
	Update ,apt. (Preview) As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...	lookingup	11	969	Jul 26, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change 7/26/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...	Iamhere	4	1663	Jul 26, 2018 by Freetime
	Had my own concerns... (Preview) and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...	JerryF	17	635	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	family (Preview) Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...	ginnyc	3	920	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	Kinda sorta like a burp!! (Preview) Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))	JerryF	9	1346	Jul 25, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. (Preview) My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...	FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic	25	2848	Jul 25, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change July 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...	Skorpi	4	2012	Jul 25, 2018 by Freetime
	ODAT reading 7-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...	hotrod	7	1000	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	Just because "it" is back, I don't want to be back with it. (Preview) Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......	Tude	6	1204	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	So many emotions...lost dont know what to do (Preview) dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...	stillgoing	6	909	Jul 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 7/23 (Preview) Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...	Lyne	7	2307	Jul 23, 2018 by Aline
	Inventoring very profitable for me. (Preview) I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...	JerryF	6	2238	Jul 22, 2018 by JerryF
	CTC. July 21 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...	lookingup	8	690	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Place me where you want me (Preview) tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...	JerryF	13	482	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	Hope for Today July 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...	yanksfan51	6	688	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Anger directed toward me (Preview) On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...	joker	6	935	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hard Lessons (Preview) (Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...	Paloma Negra	5	708	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.