Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So, it's been a LONG two weeks between hormones, oldest going to hospital and youngest going to visit friends, my dad popping up from the dead is what a couple friends are saying, I am going through other stuff as well. I am just highly overwhelmed and yet ok too. Yesterday another what I call forest fi...

Iwantthemiddle · Iwantthemiddle

Hi everyone, so I finally had the chance to attend a f2f Al-Anon meeting last night but it was cancelled :( so I attended the AA meeting instead as I was invited to stay. So I find it hard calling my Dad, Mum and husband alcoholics. When I listened to the alcoholics last night they drank day in day out all day...

bud · bud

Hi MIP family, I'm writing from Alaska, where I've enjoyed working the past week. I love it here and am feeling really blessed! I have mixed feelings left over from when my sister called me the other day. She's unstable and looking for attention. I've told her many times that I do not wish to receive phon...

A nother · A nother

I'm new to this so please be gentle. I rang Al anon a few weeks ago who gave me the details of a local meeting, but I've 3 children under 10 and daren't leave them at the moment. I will sort something out after the holidays though. I could do with some advice though, because I can't think clearly at the mome...

Aloha · Aloha

I am so glad I remembered the MIP message board. I don't know why it fell off my radar for a couple of years, but so glad to be back. One thing I had fun doing was going back and viewing my old posts from my very first post here (back in 2007!), which reminded me that I had started getting unsettled by the alcoho...

hotrod · hotrod

Reply Quote More Group Business meeting will be held Sunday 8-5 in the Chat Room at 8 PM -- after the regular meeting- We will discuss meeting chairs schedule and any other topic you feel is necessary- See you there

Freetime · Freetime

The writer talks about moving from denial of the alcoholism in her family, to making the family disease the subject of all her conversations. A fellow Al-Anon member pointed out that if we keep living in the past, we are not living in the present. Unlocking the secrets of the past is not meant to place b...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I saw this today and it moved me... I wish I would've seen it when I was questioning if I was doing the right thing a few months back. Since I know we all go through those times of doubt, and that doubt sometimes keeps us "stuck" in re-living the "good times" with our qualifiers so that we can't see another wa...

Hsquared · Hsquared

My partner, or ex-partner possibly, admitted he is an alcoholic and wants to seek help to stop drinking. This happened after he blacked out and woke up with somebody else. He has no recollection, but was clearly functioning throughout the night. Do I believe him that he doesnt remember or had ill-int...

ling · ling

Feel horrible. I can't accept that AH loves drink more than me. My tolerance has gone. Everything's gone down the pan. I'm in torment because I love him immensely. He will always drink and lie. If he gives up he maye drink again and I can't do it as I hate drink so much. I can't deal with it.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading talks about the 2nd tradition of Al-Anon - "For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." The writer shares that often our desire for control can play out i...

leannecph · leannecph

My husband is taking Antabuse to stop him from drinking Vodka. Were on day 8 and going well with the alcohol. Though I suspect he is only managing to not drink because he is buying (his other problem) drugs - cocaine specifically. He has been very affectionate the last few nights and thought it was do...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So my husband who is a problem drinker the other day majorly blew up at me. I had come back from gym in evening after working and he was drinking watching sports in front room with the kids (teens) and he was on the loud side. So I just went in back room, had dinner watched TV. My kids left to go out for a littl...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...

mamalioness · mamalioness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...

hotrod · hotrod

H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...

Lyne · Lyne

Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...

Lyne · Lyne

In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...

lookingup · lookingup

,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....

DavidG · DavidG

Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...

Venus2 · Venus2

I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...

lookingup · lookingup

As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...

JerryF · JerryF

and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...

JerryF · JerryF

Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))

FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic · FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic

My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......

stillgoing · stillgoing

dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...

Lyne · Lyne

Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...

JerryF · JerryF

I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...

JerryF · JerryF

tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...

joker · joker

On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

(Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...

NorthernGal88 · NorthernGal88

Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...

joker · joker

I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...

ginnyc · ginnyc

It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...

Freetime · Freetime

This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...

Aloha · Aloha

It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...

serenity47 · serenity47

I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...

andromeda · andromeda

After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update on 2 Weeks .. lol (Preview) So, it's been a LONG two weeks between hormones, oldest going to hospital and youngest going to visit friends, my dad popping up from the dead is what a couple friends are saying, I am going through other stuff as well. I am just highly overwhelmed and yet ok too. Yesterday another what I call forest fi...	SerenityRUS	8	457	Aug 4, 2018 by andromeda
	Alcoholic or not alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, so I finally had the chance to attend a f2f Al-Anon meeting last night but it was cancelled :( so I attended the AA meeting instead as I was invited to stay. So I find it hard calling my Dad, Mum and husband alcoholics. When I listened to the alcoholics last night they drank day in day out all day...	Iwantthemiddle	13	863	Aug 3, 2018 by Kcsnooze
	Need help with forgiveness please (Preview) Hi MIP family, I'm writing from Alaska, where I've enjoyed working the past week. I love it here and am feeling really blessed! I have mixed feelings left over from when my sister called me the other day. She's unstable and looking for attention. I've told her many times that I do not wish to receive phon...	bud	15	1977	Aug 3, 2018 by bud
	There's a wedding coming up, I don't want to go. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm new to this so please be gentle. I rang Al anon a few weeks ago who gave me the details of a local meeting, but I've 3 children under 10 and daren't leave them at the moment. I will sort something out after the holidays though. I could do with some advice though, because I can't think clearly at the mome...	A nother	60	2834	Aug 3, 2018 by DavidG
	This message board is a treasture-trove (Preview) I am so glad I remembered the MIP message board. I don't know why it fell off my radar for a couple of years, but so glad to be back. One thing I had fun doing was going back and viewing my old posts from my very first post here (back in 2007!), which reminded me that I had started getting unsettled by the alcoho...	Aloha	4	401	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Business meeting (Preview) Reply Quote More Group Business meeting will be held Sunday 8-5 in the Chat Room at 8 PM -- after the regular meeting- We will discuss meeting chairs schedule and any other topic you feel is necessary- See you there	hotrod	1	359	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/3 (Preview) The writer talks about moving from denial of the alcoholism in her family, to making the family disease the subject of all her conversations. A fellow Al-Anon member pointed out that if we keep living in the past, we are not living in the present. Unlocking the secrets of the past is not meant to place b...	Freetime	3	359	Aug 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Good quotes (Preview) I saw this today and it moved me... I wish I would've seen it when I was questioning if I was doing the right thing a few months back. Since I know we all go through those times of doubt, and that doubt sometimes keeps us "stuck" in re-living the "good times" with our qualifiers so that we can't see another wa...	PosiesandPuppies	6	1741	Aug 2, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Advice needed (Preview) My partner, or ex-partner possibly, admitted he is an alcoholic and wants to seek help to stop drinking. This happened after he blacked out and woke up with somebody else. He has no recollection, but was clearly functioning throughout the night. Do I believe him that he doesnt remember or had ill-int...	Hsquared	9	1016	Aug 2, 2018 by Bo
	feeling angry and upset (Preview) Feel horrible. I can't accept that AH loves drink more than me. My tolerance has gone. Everything's gone down the pan. I'm in torment because I love him immensely. He will always drink and lie. If he gives up he maye drink again and I can't do it as I hate drink so much. I can't deal with it.	ling	4	870	Aug 2, 2018 by JerryF
	Courage to Change 8/2/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading talks about the 2nd tradition of Al-Anon - "For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." The writer shares that often our desire for control can play out i...	Iamhere	2	528	Aug 2, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	unsure of what to say or not to say (Preview) My husband is taking Antabuse to stop him from drinking Vodka. Were on day 8 and going well with the alcohol. Though I suspect he is only managing to not drink because he is buying (his other problem) drugs - cocaine specifically. He has been very affectionate the last few nights and thought it was do...	leannecph	3	662	Aug 2, 2018 by JerryF
	What to do when they blow up? (Preview) So my husband who is a problem drinker the other day majorly blew up at me. I had come back from gym in evening after working and he was drinking watching sports in front room with the kids (teens) and he was on the loud side. So I just went in back room, had dinner watched TV. My kids left to go out for a littl...	Dancer66	16	1342	Aug 1, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change August 1 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...	Skorpi	4	1846	Aug 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Happy birthday to Betty (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...	mamalioness	17	626	Aug 1, 2018 by hotrod
	HFT 7-31 (Preview) H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...	hotrod	3	804	Jul 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to move on from a difficult situtaion (Preview) I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...	hopefulmom1	6	911	Jul 31, 2018 by joker
	got in a minor car accident... (Preview) A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...	Hoot Nanny	7	1446	Jul 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Rough two weeks (Preview) It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...	SerenityRUS	11	2120	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Continuing to take care of myself at work (closed) (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...	tiredtonite	18	2073	Jul 30, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Forgiving My Father (Preview) I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...	tiredtonite	7	679	Jul 30, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 7/30 (Preview) Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...	Lyne	4	1371	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope For Today July 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...	yanksfan51	4	314	Jul 29, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Oral surgery (Preview) In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...	Lyne	12	1026	Jul 29, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...	hotrod	0	511	Jul 29, 2018 by hotrod
	CTC 7/28 (Preview) ,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...	lookingup	7	849	Jul 28, 2018 by Aline
	Daughter and family (Preview) Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...	lookingup	6	1918	Jul 28, 2018 by DavidG
	Golden rule vs enabling/rescuing (Preview) H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....	Mcat54	14	2994	Jul 27, 2018 by Bo
	Step 12... (Preview) Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...	DavidG	11	966	Jul 27, 2018 by DavidG
	C2C - 7/27 (Preview) The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...	Freetime	3	1638	Jul 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to save a 30 year marriage (Preview) I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....	Venus2	8	1410	Jul 27, 2018 by Doingmybest
	Well.....there's fear....and that's fun (Preview) Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...	andromeda	17	2401	Jul 27, 2018 by mamalioness
	Update ,apt. (Preview) As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...	lookingup	11	949	Jul 26, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change 7/26/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...	Iamhere	4	1604	Jul 26, 2018 by Freetime
	Had my own concerns... (Preview) and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...	JerryF	17	629	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	family (Preview) Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...	ginnyc	3	914	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	Kinda sorta like a burp!! (Preview) Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))	JerryF	9	1338	Jul 25, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. (Preview) My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...	FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic	25	2803	Jul 25, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change July 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...	Skorpi	4	1922	Jul 25, 2018 by Freetime
	ODAT reading 7-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...	hotrod	7	996	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	Just because "it" is back, I don't want to be back with it. (Preview) Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......	Tude	6	1198	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	So many emotions...lost dont know what to do (Preview) dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...	stillgoing	6	905	Jul 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 7/23 (Preview) Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...	Lyne	7	2228	Jul 23, 2018 by Aline
	Inventoring very profitable for me. (Preview) I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...	JerryF	6	2151	Jul 22, 2018 by JerryF
	CTC. July 21 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...	lookingup	8	686	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Place me where you want me (Preview) tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...	JerryF	13	477	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	Hope for Today July 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...	yanksfan51	6	667	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Anger directed toward me (Preview) On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...	joker	6	914	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hard Lessons (Preview) (Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...	Paloma Negra	5	703	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	New here... Need some advice, can't reach out to friends or family (Preview) Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...	NorthernGal88	8	942	Jul 22, 2018 by Fedora
	Critical comments (Preview) I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...	joker	8	544	Jul 21, 2018 by Mattie
	what now? (Preview) It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...	ginnyc	12	539	Jul 21, 2018 by Aloha
	Apartment (Preview) Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...	lookingup	13	518	Jul 21, 2018 by hotrod
	One day at a time... (Preview) Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....	DavidG	6	408	Jul 21, 2018 by ginnyc
	Hi (Preview) I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...	Surfergirl	18	628	Jul 20, 2018 by Surfergirl
	ODAAT 7/20 (Preview) This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...	Freetime	4	414	Jul 20, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/19/18 (Preview) Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...	Iamhere	5	547	Jul 20, 2018 by sakina
	Still here! (Preview) It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...	Aloha	10	458	Jul 20, 2018 by Aloha
	Baby steps/being ok even whn others are not/progress (Preview) I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...	serenity47	6	431	Jul 20, 2018 by Bo
	He was going to PROPOSE?? (Preview) After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...	andromeda	20	946	Jul 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.