Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hellohellohello · hellohellohello

I was raised by an alcoholic and a debtor, so of course I married a debtor. My husband has been in Debtor's Anonymous but he's been in the program for three years and we are only deeper in debt than we were when he started. He still lies as much as he did before. He takes out credit cards the way he did before. S...

Freetime · Freetime

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 14, points out that Al-Anon is a spiritual, not religious, program. One sentence reads, "If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome." It also cautions against "helping" anothe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses making the most of this day, this 24 hours ahead of us. We are reminded that each moment of this day is precious and we can make it count. We can enrich our lives and improve our relationship with our HP, others and self. The steps help us pursue this goal, no matter what our ci...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in courage to change is about the Three A's - Awareness - Acceptance - Action The author shares that coping with a new awareness can be awkward, and many of us wish to avoid pain and discomfort, so we may try to jump from awareness to action. But, until we accept the reality we face, we pro...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Keep It Simple When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred. ---Thomas Jefferson The author talks about anger..Stuff happens..When the anger starts to get "hot" start counting..Breathe, even... The author also talks about how one can get "high" on anger, just like taking a...

coral35 · coral35

Hi, My therapist has suggested me using Al anon for awhile. I have surfed the web and read some post but never posted myself. Yesterday with seeing him he asked me to post. So here goes. I had alcoholic grandparents, my mother and father were alcoholics plus my mom overdosed many times for pills. My fath...

Lucas Buck · Lucas Buck

I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation. If anyone is interested please let me know. Bouncing around in my own head panicking is not helping. Tried alanon local and its just not for me. Thanks.

bud · bud

The aggravations of the week reminded me of one of the ways I've been estranged from my family. During tumultuous years with my exAH, I had all I could do to survive. I placed more than 100% of my energy on surviving the day. This meant many things didn't get done, such as return correspondences, etc if it...

Butterfly Trails · Butterfly Trails

Itâs extremely hot and humid in the area I live to the point that there are heat warnings issued by the weather networks. Itâs been this way for over a week straight and Iâve finally got 2 days off work, yesterday and today, in which I had planned to do some major housework. Well yesterday came after worki...

A nother · A nother

Hi, my ah has suddenly stopped drinking. It's been a week. At first I felt utter relief that I don't have to deal with it for a while (he has clarified that this is just a break for a bit, not permanent. He needs to give his body a break). Now I have my husband back I'm in a strange place. I go from happy to angr...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Has anyone had any success with helping friends or other family members join or become acquainted with alanon? Just wondering....

Lyne · Lyne

Denial: The reading for 9/10 speaks about how denial can cloud and/or distort our thinking. We may not see the lies we tell ourselves and others. Our anger and scorn for the alcoholic can come out in many ways. Yet it is all a cry for help. We can forgive ourselves knowing that we did the best we could...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Keep It Simple. The writer stated that he/she once thought the meaning of this slogan was doing whatever necessary to keep others happy. Over time the writer began to realize that simplifying is about not feeling the need to juggle many thin...

Jozie · Jozie

Have ya Ever just got in a Funk and Can't Figure out Why or What? And One little thing can just send you into a Whirl wind of Old Resentments, stuff I thought I let go of Long ago, but for that One day, they all come Flooding back like a Tidal Wave from Hell... Yeah, That's Kinda where I was Yesterday... I Rea...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for LUThe tools continue to serve me and help improve my interactions with others and my faith in the moment and myself. In the evening, This morning's quote in the ODAT, as sort of prayer, reminds what we can bring. "Help me use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others thro...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to share a story from my oldest who is struggling to make the jump from young adult to an actual grown adult. He's moved home and things are moving forward .. in a very stutter step way. One thing this child has really driven home in terms of lessons is letting the situation play out and letting go of...

serenity47 · serenity47

It has been a very stressful, frightening time of late. Watching my daughter spiral back into active use again is heartwrenching. She has been in and out of an abusive relationship the past year and now has relapsed. I was expecting it sadly but its a kick in the gut when it actually occurs. I am tryi...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays courage to change is a good one for me. Ive never been very good at accepting my feelings and often beat myself up for them confusing them with shortcomings. I like the idea of acknowledging them, accepting them and then letting them pass. I think I get terrified of giving them power over me as I di...

Freetime · Freetime

Courage to Change, September 7, talks about what Tradition Seven really means when it says every Al-Anon group ought to be fully self-supporting. The writer's home group had enough finances, but no one would commit to service. The writer held several service positions in the group, but when the te...

Mcgreuder · Mcgreuder

I am a relative newbie here, but have posted a couple of times before. Has anyone ever told their spouse or other family member that they have a problem with alcohol? Or is it best to not say anything? I know we cannot change them or fix them.

bud · bud

Hi Everbody, I wish I worked a stronger program with a difficult person. A woman from the barn I befriended insisted on taking care of my rescue cat on weekends when I was away because my professional sitter wasn't available on weekends. When I was several hundred miles away, I received several texts f...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...

canadianguy · canadianguy

One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...

mamalioness · mamalioness

As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...

A nother · A nother

In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...

mamalioness · mamalioness

EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am not so sure if this is related to the program in any way but I feel new car new outlook. It is true because even though I got into a car accident 6 weeks ago I feel better & more secure w a reliable car. Those of you who have been following my journey know a lot about me. It seems that because I don't how to...

Butterfly Trails · Butterfly Trails

A friend who stopped drinking over 20 years ago but who is a classic dry drunk with all the behaviours and stinking thinking had been draining me emotionally, mentally and physically for the last 5-10 years so I decided in the last year to see less of her. I decided I could carry the friendship in small do...

el-cee · el-cee

It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The chi...

A nother · A nother

Hi, this is one of the step 1 questions i'm struggling with. I would appreciate a stear if any of you could. The exact question in the paths to recovery book is, 'do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?' I think I accept that it's a disease. It certainly ha...

JerryF · JerryF

Aloha family I am in with a service work interest. I have done Public Information within our program off and on for years. Now I am back at it with renewed energy. I went shopping the other day and was scoping out the ice cream section (like ice cream) yet was noticing something I had not before which is...

Lyne · Lyne

Waiting for someday....The writer speaks of always waiting for the right day, right time, the rainy day, for others to change, etc., etc., when finally realizing that today can be the right day. Alanon helped them to see that they can make their own dreams come true by taking one small step in the dire...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... got along to the neighbouring meeting again. As a kid ah were real goody-two-shoes.... I have been to single meetings when travelling- which I have appreciated. But generally if I go to local meeting I will go to three or four at time. Going in cold... nah... it does take time to t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on self-care and what that can mean for us in recovery. The writer states that while he/she did put effort into self care, it still was with other people in mind. Only after some time in recovery was the focus truly shifted to care of self FOR the self. I a...

Walt · Walt

I attend a Book Study Group Meeting in which we read from "Discovering Choices" and then take turns sharing on the topics covered. I have been observing more and more that members are straying from the topics read in our book and then vent/dump about outside personal problems unrelated to the topics...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smileat a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at leastone thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardlysmile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my ownkindness.--Ruth FishelJu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes icemelt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility toevaporate.--Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have ofit.--unknownHere is a test to find whether your mis...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for Sept 1 , speaks of the isolation that surrounds us when our thoughts are saturated with the pain of our unsolved problems. This leads to being surrounded by the feeling of loneliness. We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading sugg...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... i am inspired by the term Tanin has held being the admin for the combined MIP groups. His timing was impeccable. he has handed over to new blood- which will rise to the occasion. In our programmes we are encouraged to hand over after a two year term- or maybe four years. Jobs like secr...

A nother · A nother

It is 4am here. My AH has been bingeing. I'm awake because he was talking loudly downstairs and woke me up. I can hear him bitching about me to his mother on the phone. He thinks I'm playing mind games. Rationally, I know I shouldn't feel hurt by anything he says when he's drunk, but this does upset me. His...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting earlier than usual as I've got plans this evening later than usual (last night of golf league + banquet), and am golfing early tomorrow. The reading for tomorrow is about changed attitudes and how they aid recovery. The author shares that their sponsor suggested gratitude lists when feelin...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...

Freetime · Freetime

This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...

SDB · SDB

After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...

Bo · Bo

While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...

mamalioness · mamalioness

In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Debt Debt Debt Debt Marriage Children (Preview) I was raised by an alcoholic and a debtor, so of course I married a debtor. My husband has been in Debtor's Anonymous but he's been in the program for three years and we are only deeper in debt than we were when he started. He still lies as much as he did before. He takes out credit cards the way he did before. S...	hellohellohello	11	6549	Sep 14, 2018 by hellohellohello
	ODAT 9/14/18 (Preview) One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 14, points out that Al-Anon is a spiritual, not religious, program. One sentence reads, "If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome." It also cautions against "helping" anothe...	Freetime	5	654	Sep 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 9/13/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses making the most of this day, this 24 hours ahead of us. We are reminded that each moment of this day is precious and we can make it count. We can enrich our lives and improve our relationship with our HP, others and self. The steps help us pursue this goal, no matter what our ci...	Iamhere	9	591	Sep 14, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change September 12 (Preview) Today's reading in courage to change is about the Three A's - Awareness - Acceptance - Action The author shares that coping with a new awareness can be awkward, and many of us wish to avoid pain and discomfort, so we may try to jump from awareness to action. But, until we accept the reality we face, we pro...	Skorpi	9	506	Sep 13, 2018 by mamalioness
	Keep it simple_12 Sept (Preview) Keep It Simple When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred. ---Thomas Jefferson The author talks about anger..Stuff happens..When the anger starts to get "hot" start counting..Breathe, even... The author also talks about how one can get "high" on anger, just like taking a...	mamalioness	7	627	Sep 13, 2018 by Bo
	First Post-Losing It (Preview) Hi, My therapist has suggested me using Al anon for awhile. I have surfed the web and read some post but never posted myself. Yesterday with seeing him he asked me to post. So here goes. I had alcoholic grandparents, my mother and father were alcoholics plus my mom overdosed many times for pills. My fath...	coral35	9	582	Sep 13, 2018 by Bo
	Those with an Alcoholic Wife (Preview) I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation. If anyone is interested please let me know. Bouncing around in my own head panicking is not helping. Tried alanon local and its just not for me. Thanks.	Lucas Buck	11	711	Sep 12, 2018 by bud
	Anger if I isolate (Preview) The aggravations of the week reminded me of one of the ways I've been estranged from my family. During tumultuous years with my exAH, I had all I could do to survive. I placed more than 100% of my energy on surviving the day. This meant many things didn't get done, such as return correspondences, etc if it...	bud	10	642	Sep 11, 2018 by bud
	Taking care of my needs first (Preview) Itâs extremely hot and humid in the area I live to the point that there are heat warnings issued by the weather networks. Itâs been this way for over a week straight and Iâve finally got 2 days off work, yesterday and today, in which I had planned to do some major housework. Well yesterday came after worki...	Butterfly Trails	7	661	Sep 11, 2018 by lookingup
	Changing the goalposts (Preview) Hi, my ah has suddenly stopped drinking. It's been a week. At first I felt utter relief that I don't have to deal with it for a while (he has clarified that this is just a break for a bit, not permanent. He needs to give his body a break). Now I have my husband back I'm in a strange place. I go from happy to angr...	A nother	8	537	Sep 10, 2018 by Bo
	siblings and others on this merry go round (Preview) Has anyone had any success with helping friends or other family members join or become acquainted with alanon? Just wondering....	ginnyc	8	627	Sep 10, 2018 by ginnyc
	C2C, 9/10 (Preview) Denial: The reading for 9/10 speaks about how denial can cloud and/or distort our thinking. We may not see the lies we tell ourselves and others. Our anger and scorn for the alcoholic can come out in many ways. Yet it is all a cry for help. We can forgive ourselves knowing that we did the best we could...	Lyne	5	521	Sep 10, 2018 by Skorpi
	Hope for Today Sept 9 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Keep It Simple. The writer stated that he/she once thought the meaning of this slogan was doing whatever necessary to keep others happy. Over time the writer began to realize that simplifying is about not feeling the need to juggle many thin...	yanksfan51	7	549	Sep 9, 2018 by bud
	I Feel like I'm Raining inside! (Preview) Have ya Ever just got in a Funk and Can't Figure out Why or What? And One little thing can just send you into a Whirl wind of Old Resentments, stuff I thought I let go of Long ago, but for that One day, they all come Flooding back like a Tidal Wave from Hell... Yeah, That's Kinda where I was Yesterday... I Rea...	Jozie	10	551	Sep 9, 2018 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 9-8 (Preview) Posting for LUThe tools continue to serve me and help improve my interactions with others and my faith in the moment and myself. In the evening, This morning's quote in the ODAT, as sort of prayer, reminds what we can bring. "Help me use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others thro...	hotrod	3	724	Sep 8, 2018 by mamalioness
	Adulting is hard .. (Preview) I had to share a story from my oldest who is struggling to make the jump from young adult to an actual grown adult. He's moved home and things are moving forward .. in a very stutter step way. One thing this child has really driven home in terms of lessons is letting the situation play out and letting go of...	SerenityRUS	11	544	Sep 8, 2018 by Bo
	Wishing i could just make it all better. (Preview) It has been a very stressful, frightening time of late. Watching my daughter spiral back into active use again is heartwrenching. She has been in and out of an abusive relationship the past year and now has relapsed. I was expecting it sadly but its a kick in the gut when it actually occurs. I am tryi...	serenity47	5	559	Sep 8, 2018 by bud
	How do you let feelings go? (Preview) Todays courage to change is a good one for me. Ive never been very good at accepting my feelings and often beat myself up for them confusing them with shortcomings. I like the idea of acknowledging them, accepting them and then letting them pass. I think I get terrified of giving them power over me as I di...	el-cee	17	781	Sep 8, 2018 by _bunny_
	Courage to Change 9/7/18 (Preview) Courage to Change, September 7, talks about what Tradition Seven really means when it says every Al-Anon group ought to be fully self-supporting. The writer's home group had enough finances, but no one would commit to service. The writer held several service positions in the group, but when the te...	Freetime	4	649	Sep 7, 2018 by mamalioness
	Have you told your qualifier you think they have a problem with alcohol? (Preview) I am a relative newbie here, but have posted a couple of times before. Has anyone ever told their spouse or other family member that they have a problem with alcohol? Or is it best to not say anything? I know we cannot change them or fix them.	Mcgreuder	5	507	Sep 7, 2018 by canadianguy
	Triggered & feeling guilty (Preview) Hi Everbody, I wish I worked a stronger program with a difficult person. A woman from the barn I befriended insisted on taking care of my rescue cat on weekends when I was away because my professional sitter wasn't available on weekends. When I was several hundred miles away, I received several texts f...	bud	29	703	Sep 7, 2018 by 2HP
	Trying to Force an Outcome (Preview) Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...	tiredtonite	7	573	Sep 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Tid bits of Wisdom_07 Sept (Preview) Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...	mamalioness	1	373	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Toxic Love (Preview) One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...	canadianguy	7	531	Sep 6, 2018 by Jen61
	Courage to Change, September 5 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...	Skorpi	5	494	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 9/6/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...	Iamhere	8	422	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Unacceptable behaviour question - ESH please (Preview) I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...	Bettertomorrow	17	807	Sep 6, 2018 by canadianguy
	Tidbits of wisdom_06 Sept (Preview) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...	mamalioness	3	404	Sep 6, 2018 by hotrod
	Wish I could have met Bill (Preview) As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...	mamalioness	1	439	Sep 6, 2018 by DavidG
	I had an Al anon dream! (Preview) In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...	A nother	3	431	Sep 5, 2018 by JerryF
	ODAT Reading 9-4-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...	hotrod	11	509	Sep 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	That Higher Power guy is a pretty smart person (Preview) When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...	texas yankee	13	558	Sep 5, 2018 by nursedebbi
	Emotional Balance_12 steps & 12 traditions, p. 83 (Preview) EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...	mamalioness	2	396	Sep 4, 2018 by hotrod
	Tid bits of wisdom_04 Sep (Preview) Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...	mamalioness	6	436	Sep 4, 2018 by DavidG
	nothing to do w alanon? (Preview) I am not so sure if this is related to the program in any way but I feel new car new outlook. It is true because even though I got into a car accident 6 weeks ago I feel better & more secure w a reliable car. Those of you who have been following my journey know a lot about me. It seems that because I don't how to...	Hoot Nanny	4	506	Sep 4, 2018 by bud
	Feeling torn and guilty (Preview) A friend who stopped drinking over 20 years ago but who is a classic dry drunk with all the behaviours and stinking thinking had been draining me emotionally, mentally and physically for the last 5-10 years so I decided in the last year to see less of her. I decided I could carry the friendship in small do...	Butterfly Trails	9	486	Sep 4, 2018 by Butterfly Trails
	The miserable disease (Preview) It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The chi...	el-cee	9	500	Sep 4, 2018 by ginnyc
	Do you accept that alcoholism is a disease? (Preview) Hi, this is one of the step 1 questions i'm struggling with. I would appreciate a stear if any of you could. The exact question in the paths to recovery book is, 'do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?' I think I accept that it's a disease. It certainly ha...	A nother	15	698	Sep 4, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Service work (Preview) Aloha family I am in with a service work interest. I have done Public Information within our program off and on for years. Now I am back at it with renewed energy. I went shopping the other day and was scoping out the ice cream section (like ice cream) yet was noticing something I had not before which is...	JerryF	4	468	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C, 9/3 (Preview) Waiting for someday....The writer speaks of always waiting for the right day, right time, the rainy day, for others to change, etc., etc., when finally realizing that today can be the right day. Alanon helped them to see that they can make their own dreams come true by taking one small step in the dire...	Lyne	8	496	Sep 3, 2018 by serenity47
	Darn... got caught out... (Preview) Hi y'all... got along to the neighbouring meeting again. As a kid ah were real goody-two-shoes.... I have been to single meetings when travelling- which I have appreciated. But generally if I go to local meeting I will go to three or four at time. Going in cold... nah... it does take time to t...	DavidG	6	447	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Sept 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on self-care and what that can mean for us in recovery. The writer states that while he/she did put effort into self care, it still was with other people in mind. Only after some time in recovery was the focus truly shifted to care of self FOR the self. I a...	yanksfan51	4	481	Sep 3, 2018 by mamalioness
	Off Topic Sharing, Venting and Dumping in Book Study Meetings ( 1 2 ) Book Study Off Topic Venting Dumping Personal Sharing (Preview) I attend a Book Study Group Meeting in which we read from "Discovering Choices" and then take turns sharing on the topics covered. I have been observing more and more that members are straying from the topics read in our book and then vent/dump about outside personal problems unrelated to the topics...	Walt	41	5780	Sep 2, 2018 by Enigmatic
	some tidbits of wisdom (Preview) I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smileat a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at leastone thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardlysmile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my ownkindness.--Ruth FishelJu...	mamalioness	3	440	Sep 2, 2018 by hotrod
	Some good tidbits of wisdom (Preview) Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes icemelt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility toevaporate.--Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have ofit.--unknownHere is a test to find whether your mis...	mamalioness	6	426	Sep 2, 2018 by lookingup
	ODAT. Sept 1 (Preview) The ODAT reading for Sept 1 , speaks of the isolation that surrounds us when our thoughts are saturated with the pain of our unsolved problems. This leads to being surrounded by the feeling of loneliness. We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading sugg...	lookingup	7	460	Sep 1, 2018 by lookingup
	Grr... grr... agh... Alanon of old... (Preview) Hi y'all... i am inspired by the term Tanin has held being the admin for the combined MIP groups. His timing was impeccable. he has handed over to new blood- which will rise to the occasion. In our programmes we are encouraged to hand over after a two year term- or maybe four years. Jobs like secr...	DavidG	11	569	Sep 1, 2018 by Bo
	Detaching (Preview) It is 4am here. My AH has been bingeing. I'm awake because he was talking loudly downstairs and woke me up. I can hear him bitching about me to his mother on the phone. He thinks I'm playing mind games. Rationally, I know I shouldn't feel hurt by anything he says when he's drunk, but this does upset me. His...	A nother	7	510	Sep 1, 2018 by Lyne
	Courage to Change 8/30/18 (Preview) Posting earlier than usual as I've got plans this evening later than usual (last night of golf league + banquet), and am golfing early tomorrow. The reading for tomorrow is about changed attitudes and how they aid recovery. The author shares that their sponsor suggested gratitude lists when feelin...	Iamhere	6	475	Aug 31, 2018 by mamalioness
	Have you ever been triggered by a TV show? (Preview) I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...	PosiesandPuppies	21	720	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	ODAT - August 31 (Preview) This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...	Freetime	6	495	Aug 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	Finally drew my boundaries and stuck to them -- Steps 1-3 (Preview) After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...	SDB	23	806	Aug 31, 2018 by Neroli
	Alanon - a gentle program??? (Preview) Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...	el-cee	16	676	Aug 31, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today- August 31... (Preview) Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...	DavidG	3	405	Aug 31, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step 9 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...	hotrod	0	347	Aug 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Congruency... (Preview) While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...	Bo	22	614	Aug 30, 2018 by Bo
	Today is a new day! (Preview) I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...	PosiesandPuppies	10	467	Aug 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The important things we hear, see and do, in Alanon... (Preview) Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...	DavidG	6	466	Aug 30, 2018 by lookingup
	Interesting read about: _UNsafe People (Preview) In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...	mamalioness	4	470	Aug 30, 2018 by milkwood
	Getting Close to the Edge (Preview) Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...	Paloma Negra	7	588	Aug 29, 2018 by mamalioness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.