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nothing to do w alanon?
(Preview)
I am not so sure if this is related to the program in any way but I feel new car new outlook. It is true because even though I got into a car accident 6 weeks ago I feel better & more secure w a reliable car. Those of you who have been following my journey know a lot about me. It seems that because I don't how to...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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435
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Feeling torn and guilty
(Preview)
A friend who stopped drinking over 20 years ago but who is a classic dry drunk with all the behaviours and stinking thinking had been draining me emotionally, mentally and physically for the last 5-10 years so I decided in the last year to see less of her. I decided I could carry the friendship in small do...
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Butterfly Trails
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9
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411
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The miserable disease
(Preview)
It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The chi...
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el-cee
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9
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435
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Do you accept that alcoholism is a disease?
(Preview)
Hi, this is one of the step 1 questions i'm struggling with. I would appreciate a stear if any of you could. The exact question in the paths to recovery book is, 'do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?' I think I accept that it's a disease. It certainly ha...
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A nother
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15
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612
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Service work
(Preview)
Aloha family I am in with a service work interest. I have done Public Information within our program off and on for years. Now I am back at it with renewed energy. I went shopping the other day and was scoping out the ice cream section (like ice cream) yet was noticing something I had not before which is...
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JerryF
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4
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413
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C2C, 9/3
(Preview)
Waiting for someday....The writer speaks of always waiting for the right day, right time, the rainy day, for others to change, etc., etc., when finally realizing that today can be the right day. Alanon helped them to see that they can make their own dreams come true by taking one small step in the dire...
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Lyne
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8
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426
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Darn... got caught out...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... got along to the neighbouring meeting again. As a kid ah were real goody-two-shoes.... I have been to single meetings when travelling- which I have appreciated. But generally if I go to local meeting I will go to three or four at time. Going in cold... nah... it does take time to t...
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DavidG
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6
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378
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Hope for Today Sept 1
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on self-care and what that can mean for us in recovery. The writer states that while he/she did put effort into self care, it still was with other people in mind. Only after some time in recovery was the focus truly shifted to care of self FOR the self. I a...
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yanksfan51
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4
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402
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Off Topic Sharing, Venting and Dumping in Book Study Meetings
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I attend a Book Study Group Meeting in which we read from "Discovering Choices" and then take turns sharing on the topics covered. I have been observing more and more that members are straying from the topics read in our book and then vent/dump about outside personal problems unrelated to the topics...
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Walt
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41
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4723
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some tidbits of wisdom
(Preview)
I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smileat a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at leastone thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardlysmile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my ownkindness.--Ruth FishelJu...
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mamalioness
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3
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369
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Some good tidbits of wisdom
(Preview)
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes icemelt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility toevaporate.--Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have ofit.--unknownHere is a test to find whether your mis...
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mamalioness
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6
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368
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ODAT. Sept 1
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for Sept 1 , speaks of the isolation that surrounds us when our thoughts are saturated with the pain of our unsolved problems. This leads to being surrounded by the feeling of loneliness. We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading sugg...
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lookingup
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7
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388
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Grr... grr... agh... Alanon of old...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... i am inspired by the term Tanin has held being the admin for the combined MIP groups. His timing was impeccable. he has handed over to new blood- which will rise to the occasion. In our programmes we are encouraged to hand over after a two year term- or maybe four years. Jobs like secr...
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DavidG
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11
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496
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Detaching
(Preview)
It is 4am here. My AH has been bingeing. I'm awake because he was talking loudly downstairs and woke me up. I can hear him bitching about me to his mother on the phone. He thinks I'm playing mind games. Rationally, I know I shouldn't feel hurt by anything he says when he's drunk, but this does upset me. His...
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A nother
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7
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445
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Courage to Change 8/30/18
(Preview)
Posting earlier than usual as I've got plans this evening later than usual (last night of golf league + banquet), and am golfing early tomorrow. The reading for tomorrow is about changed attitudes and how they aid recovery. The author shares that their sponsor suggested gratitude lists when feelin...
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Iamhere
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6
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417
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Have you ever been triggered by a TV show?
(Preview)
I love the show, "The Crown." I was binge watching last night, and I got to the final show of the first season. Long story short, it showed a confrontation between the Queen and His Royal Highness. She finally put it out there that she knew he was a philanderer (had proof), and had been for some time. His di...
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PosiesandPuppies
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21
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638
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ODAT - August 31
(Preview)
This page points out that the kind of day we are going to have does not depend on the weather -- what is outside -- but on our attitudes toward what is happening. We can try to change our attitude, try to be calm and courteous, just for today, so whatever is happening outside of us does not seem overwhelmin...
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Freetime
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6
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416
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Finally drew my boundaries and stuck to them -- Steps 1-3
(Preview)
After four years of living with my AH who had multiple hospitalizations, I finally let go of trying to control him and focused on myself and what I needed. I had tried making deals (you can have beer, but no hard stuff; you can have an allowance so you don't spend all our money; etc.), pleading, guilting,...
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SDB
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23
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721
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Alanon - a gentle program???
(Preview)
Im a very grateful member of Alanon and I trust this program and everything about it completely and utterly but I heard an interesting take on our program from a friend. Her sponsor told her that Alanon is no gentle program, not if you want to get well. Its made me think. On the one hand we who have been affe...
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el-cee
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16
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586
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Hope for Today- August 31...
(Preview)
Hi y'all, The reading today is about a member whose parents were alcoholics, and so it hubby. My mum went drinking with dad too- but she did not become alcoholic. The atmosphere around the home was not like party fun- dancing and singing- nor the bars, neither. I longed for world which had happiness and...
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DavidG
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3
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327
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Step 9
(Preview)
Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!...
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hotrod
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0
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290
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Congruency...
(Preview)
While this word may not be an alanon topic or slogan for me, this is very much part of the alanon program. In my experience, congruency is very important. For many reasons. So, on one level, my alanon thinking, way of living, decision-making, etc., must be congruent with what I actually do. My actions c...
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Bo
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22
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533
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Today is a new day!
(Preview)
I wrote this post yesterday, but somehow it did not get posted! LOL! So it was 1 year ago today, that I grabbed my dog, clothes and my son and moved out of the marital home. I gave my spouse "notice" on August 4 to either get into rehab and work a program, or leave. He refused both. So I had to pack things up and...
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PosiesandPuppies
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10
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404
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The important things we hear, see and do, in Alanon...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... step 11 reflections... Some of the ideas came out of the Alanon books, especially the readers. Other ideas came directly out of members ESH. Some I might have put to one side- picking up the message: take what you like and leave the rest. Some of the things I put to one side, I picked up...
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DavidG
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6
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378
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Interesting read about: _UNsafe People
(Preview)
In their book, Safe People, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend outline the personality and behavioural traits of both safe and unsafe people. Knowing the difference between them means that you can enter into relationships with people who are good for you and avoid those that arent. Without this k...
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mamalioness
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4
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398
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Getting Close to the Edge
(Preview)
Hi everybody, it's been way too long since I've been active on here, or anywhere really. Two months ago, I had a really nasty fall at home which caused my left leg/ankle to be broken in 2 places, and my right foot was fractured as well. I was confined to bed rest, only getting up for the restroom or to go to a...
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Paloma Negra
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7
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507
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The things Alanon has taught me
(Preview)
I have an older brother who abused me in many ways, but causing me fear was his specialty from childhood into teen years. No one protected me and in many ways I feel similar to ACOA's. He is in the hospital having two heart valves repaired, one for the second time and the other one for the first time. He is...
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Lyne
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11
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432
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Courage to Change August 29
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author speaks about nagging guilt about moments when they said or did something that brought another pain that had plagued them since childhood. Step Eight offered the opportunity to release the author from this unrelenting guilt...
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Skorpi
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4
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356
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I hope you all can get something out of this
(Preview)
*********************************************************I
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mamalioness
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7
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362
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ODAT Reading 8-28
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for August 28 speaks of loosing our temper as a form of "Forgetting our Best Selves. It points out that by loosing our temper, judging and critiquing others and engaging n such negative activities we loose our "True selves".. The reading suggests that we embrace "who we want to b...
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hotrod
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3
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398
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Each day a new beginning_08/27
(Preview)
Each day a new beginning, today's entry YELLED at me to READ: Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive comp...
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mamalioness
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13
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442
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In consideration
(Preview)
I may be "missing in action" for a while as I have issues in my life which need deep attention daily. One of course is the ongoing affect of my disease of enabling and co-dependency and the other the affect of a life long illegal relationship since birth. I won't explain that other than it has always b...
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JerryF
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17
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679
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Just saying thank you and , yea, some reflections!!!
(Preview)
To ALL the travelers who post the daily readings, I just want to say "thank you" for your service and I hope to contribute here and there, and I am gonna make sure I post on EVERYONE of them as I have done of late because this sorta "gently forces" me to stay program oriented...I've been going through so man...
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mamalioness
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2
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358
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a Whirlwind of a Week...
(Preview)
Good Moring Family.... This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me... Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play h...
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Jozie
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5
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626
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C2C, 8/27
(Preview)
Not my will....:The writing talks about how difficult it was to admit powerlessness and needing help from HP. After all, they came to fix the alcoholic. They learned that the first three steps were not easy, and it was important to accept, Not my will but Your will. They now strive for progress not p...
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Lyne
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4
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363
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Courage to Change 8/17
(Preview)
This reading discusses how we view our defects of character. Some defects can be traits we once needed to survive in an alcoholic situation -- like denial, control, or secrecy -- but now we find those traits do more harm than good. They are former assets that have become deficits. Some defects may be...
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Freetime
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12
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612
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Hope for Today Aug 19
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the amount of time many of us have spent focusing on others (attempting to control, wondering why, trying to change or influence behaviors) rather than self care and focus on our own selves. Although I have realized many times that I was putting the foc...
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yanksfan51
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8
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536
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odat 8/25
(Preview)
. The ODAT reading for 8/ 25th speaks about ourr tendency to react on impulse. By reacting in this manner, and saying the first thing that comes into our minds, we defeat the purpose, The reading suggests we consider the slogan" easy does it "and taking the time to stop and think. if our respon...
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lookingup
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5
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645
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Hope for Today August 26
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading compares the work of step four with gardening, and the necessity of removing old growth, roots and tangles before anything new can grow healthfully. The writer describes hitting a very stubborn tangled root while trying to clear the earth for gardening. He/...
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yanksfan51
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6
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435
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Alanon Concept 3...
(Preview)
Concept 3... The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. I was told this relates to all levels of leadership in Alanon. This means that a GR can go to an assembly, S/he can take the group conscience along with them... but if the circumstances changes they are entitled to change their m...
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DavidG
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4
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762
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The gift of recovery...
(Preview)
Hi y'all, I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before. I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!...
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DavidG
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8
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539
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C2C 8/24
(Preview)
The writer was normally an easy-going person but when angry would suddenly fly into a rage. One day when her anger flared because her dog accidentally broke a vase, she noticed that her dog looked hurt and bewildered. By seeing the effect of her actions on her dog, she realized the effect she must be ha...
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Freetime
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8
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499
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replacing alcohol with depression?
(Preview)
Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...
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Fedora
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14
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663
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Courage to Change 8/23/19
(Preview)
The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...
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Iamhere
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6
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435
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Illogical expectations?
(Preview)
My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...
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A nother
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20
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809
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Unemployment
(Preview)
Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...
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Surfergirl
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14
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486
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The Fear Has Past, but the Love Remains... UPDATE...
(Preview)
Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...
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Jozie
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8
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515
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Blueprints for Progress - limitations
(Preview)
Hi all. I've been working my fourth step in Blueprints for Progress. On p. 16 under Self-Worth: My Own Standards, the question asks, What are my limitations and do I accept them? What is meant by limitations in this case? What is your interpretation? I was thinking character defects such as being i...
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growing
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7
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591
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Courage to Change August 22 2018
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life! The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also s...
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Skorpi
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5
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347
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Drinking with someone with a drink problem??
(Preview)
Hi, so I am struggling with this one and could do with your experience. Prior to all my rubbish with ah, we would usually share a bottle of wine on a Friday night (normally the only time I drink). Since I came home from my awful holiday I haven't had a drink at all because I haven't wanted to. My husband has b...
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A nother
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15
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584
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Higher Power as a "He"....
(Preview)
For me that doesn't work anymore and I'll tell you why. When I got into Al-Anon there was me with my stinking thinking attitude and major EGO smart ass attitude and my loud commanding act out and plain old "dumb as a stick" presence. I didn't know and didn't know anything; not even the basics or anyt...
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JerryF
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17
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861
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Prayers needed
(Preview)
If you find yourself with the time, a friend in the program's daughter is in critical condition in the hospital with a head injury - sounding like it could have been a fall or domestic violence where alcohol was involved. Her daughter's name is Sairee. Thank you so much.
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Aloha
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27
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747
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C2C, 8/20
(Preview)
Self-acceptance: The writer talks about their change from black and white thinking, to realizing that they don't have to do better or differently and they are not necessarily wrong! They are learning that their best is good enough, and they do not have to struggle to constantly fix themself. Toda...
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Lyne
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4
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439
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Please check out the new Board
(Preview)
Transition To New MIP Admin/Webmaster - Reply OnlyThis subforum is for the discussion and consideration of the service position of admin/webmaster. All interested MIP members may participate in the discussions. Please check the posting from Tanin at this new Board. Please see the thread...
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hotrod
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0
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510
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Struggling to get over the trauma and fully forgive
(Preview)
Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum, and read more posts than I've written myself, but am struggling to come to terms with past events that my AH has put me through. To give some background, I have 2 children (now 4 and 2) and from about the time of my first son's birth, my husband's stress levels s...
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Anon111
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13
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678
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I could sure use the prayers this next week.
(Preview)
The onslaught continues and I keep reminding myself that my attitude makes the difference in how I feel throughout this period, how well I learn from it and how I impact those around me. But boy-oh-boy does it just seem like are the stressors just piling up. Just as a sample my father and my ExAW's brothe...
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WestMan
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27
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623
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ODAT,,August 18.
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for August 18 speaks about ourr tendency to review the past and remember the worst possible things that someone has done. We do this so we can polish our own halos in this process. That sentence made me smile as I can readily identify with" polishing my Halo" The reading suggest...
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lookingup
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8
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371
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Problem child update
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Well, I got my daughter out of the dangerous inner city/hood location where she was homeless so I guess that is the only good part to this update. I got her an Airbnb for the night before she could take the train out of town. The Airbnb agreed to a third party reservation but BOY were they mad after daughter...
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RachelsMom
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51
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1811
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Blessed....Just Blessed
(Preview)
Picked my Al-Anon wife up at the airport last evening. She had been gone for 3 months and left me to the care of our MIP family and the rest of life as life is. I not only missed her looks and missed the sound of her voice and her mannerisms which caused me to smile and say "Sheeeees back" as parts of who she i...
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JerryF
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12
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544
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well the older one is FOUND!!!!!! what a RELIEF!!!!
(Preview)
my brother "R" called me....WHAT a story he had for me!!! He is a marine engineer and goes out on these big boats doing sea trials, etc., testing out new radar, communication and other equipment he installs on them..Its nothing for NOAA to fly him out to their big weather boats to "fix something" Even t...
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mamalioness
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24
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576
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