The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The children. This drunk man is still the role model so the sons are watching intently and learning this model of a man. They take it in like sponges and they learn that men get drunk are happy but mostly men are not happy. They are critical harsh miserable angry agressive. Then years later the mother is now a gradmother and she sees how well her son learned to be that man. Almost a perfect carbon copy. Oh it just passes down the line like eye or hair colour.
Been there and done that; that way also El Cee and then for me it changed when I changed my family...I left my family of origin and got adopted by the AFG. Thank you God I listened and learned and practiced how they chose to live. Yes the disease is miserable and recovery is so much more better. ((((El Cee))))
(((el-cee))) The disease does poison everything it touches. Like Jerry, I'm grateful for the program family. Sending warm wishes for comfort and serenity.
Looking back, if I knew then what I know now, I would've divorced my spouse back when he went to rehab for meth. Instead I chose to take him back (after rehab and working a program - that was short-lived btw) not because I wanted him, but because I thought it was best for my then 10 year-old boy to have a father in the house. How wrong I was! I am still holding onto guilt about that... trying my best to make amends to my son. He says they are not needed, but I still see some of the damage that was done (even after therapy for my son). Addiction is a terrible, terrible disease of the mind. It can be arrested, but it is never cured... too many brain cells/chemistry have been changed.
Wishing you Peace today (((((el-cee)))).
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Honest share and vivid photo of how this disease is a family disease. I too have BTDT. What I am grateful today is our program tells us to lead by example. Knowing I have no power to change anyone else gives me the freedom to just be me, let them be them and pray for the 'best next right thing'.
Sending tons of (((hugs))) to all my friends in recovery @ MIP (my family too)!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
WOW!!!! el-cee....what a horrid and OH SO TRUE picture....from generation to generation it passes its ugliness and despair down to the next and next generations.....I'm glad we are all here...Perhaps the buck can stop or at least be exposed and slow down with all of us.......thank you for sharing this....stark....real.....needs to be read
This was sad dear friend. There are so many factors; society as well, attitudes to drink, what is the so called "norm", the minimising and blanket collective species denial of what is literally ingested poison. We are a strange breed of life, humans. Take care. We do our best.
what a powerful reminder. Unless you have been there I don't think you would understand. The family is so affected by it- the denial, abuse, low self esteem, its dreadful!
what a powerful reminder. Unless you have been there I don't think you would understand. The family is so affected by it- the denial, abuse, low self esteem, its dreadful!