Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

a4l · a4l

I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment or maybe stone dropping is a better description. I've always had this very rigid expectation around public behaviour. For myself and those around me and descended from me. I can not enjoy my coffee if anyone has messy hair or mismatched clothes, and god forbid any ch...

El · El

Hi All. OK......I am working towards acceptance and detachment with love especially when expectations are not met. This week my SO was diagnosed with alcohol induced hepatitis. Doctor said he HAD to stop drinking. My SO was very down and after blaming the doctor, and bemoaning that life would n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have come to realize that most people do not know how to play. They know how to be responsible, work hard, take everything way to seriously however have forgotten how to really play and not in a mean way play with each other. It always shocks me when I'm engaging with someone and they are so surprised b...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C is about being able to acknowledge our own assets, and how that is so embarrassing and difficult for many of us at first. The reading suggests that we can begin by accepting kindness and/or compliments from others even if we think we don't deserve it, and that we can let others know that we ap...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm tired today emotionally, mentally, an spiritually .. i have a meeting i can an am going to tonight where i live .. but lately i feel the unity missing sometimes when i share online (in another site) .. i haven't shared in this site in awhile so just letting myself share (without criticism or judgment...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I've been going to Al Anon for about 13 years now - in the early years. mainly just picking up a few tidbits here and there, kinda like an Al Anon observer, but over the past two years or so, when I retired, I've become VERY active in a few local groups - I'm learning about and living the message, and I'm espec...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I've been dreading this day for awhile now. I'm glad it's here. Today is my husband and my fifteenth anniversary. Our relationship has been very very difficult for quite some time now. We've been separated for 9 months, but he is still in resistance to that. He is a good man, but his denial is so strong....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 8 th talks about the phrase," Yes but." The reading points out that we don't have to like reality however we do have to accept it for what it is. Your day is too precious to waste by wishing it away in fantasy and day dreams. The reading points out that if we I spend our time wishing t...

Lyne · Lyne

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms! I want to give a special shout out to my sponsor who by virtue of our relationship is a kind of "mother figure" for me. She volunteers her time and energy to me (and others) and never complains! My own mom is crippled in a nursing home and has dementia. It is wonderful...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to make this quick like the goodbye my friend said in several texts. I won't see her for awhile so I am grieving right now. I mentioned her before. May God richly bless her. Thanks to all of you who have who have been following my journey towards wellness.

El · El

The last time I went to a f2f meeting was a couple of years ago. I am ready to go again and am wondering about the best way to handle it. Last time my AH was very sarcastic and accusatory about my meetings. I didn't lie where I was going. Monday night was alanon. When I came home he would accuse me of telling sto...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I replaced "mib_n7east" with my nickname and I still couldn't get in. No error message, it just returns to the screen with "mib_n7east" in it. Am I doing it the right way?

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I realize that the Kentucky Derby is tomorow. It gives me a bad feeling in my heart and stomach because this is the first time that I will be watching it alone. XAH likes to bet on it and no matter where we were in our relationship, we managed to sit and watch it, pick horses etc. Sometimes if i picked the winn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have discovered why I just should not date .. they keep coming back .. LOL .. j/k although I did have the experience of running into my Romeo from December today at my coffee shop and all I could think was God love the man. Yes leave it to me in the little state of Texas to run into the guy I dated 2x since my sp...

Freetime · Freetime

I wanted to share a fun discovery that some of you might appreciate. My phone has that predictive spelling feature, where after you type in a word it suggests the next word you could enter. Earlier today I typed the words "You are not ..." and my very smart phone suggested as the next word, "alone." "Y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 7 th speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It suggests that if a person with the disease could stop --many would have done so long ago. . When we finally come to realize that we cannot fight a disease and that it does us no good to plead or to reason with a disease., we do not nee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today discusses Step 5 and how at first glance, it appears to be daunting. Most of us spent so much energy and time into hiding the truth as we had fear of rejection from others. After all, we had tried so hard to be perfect and present the perfect front Most of us were isolated and lonely as i...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My AH still denies he's an alcoholic. He's a periodic binge drinker and he's drinking again on a weekly basis. To give you an idea he's the between number One and number Two husband in "To Wives" chapter of AA's Big Book. I think I have accepted the three C's , that I could only change myself, I have stop...

jagadamba · jagadamba

I need an online sponsor to help me get through staying away from my relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend. Please help.

Mirandac · Mirandac

Is there a protocol for how soon to start business meeting? Is asking for 10-15 minutes start time too much to ask Of members? i like to converse, greet new members, give hugs whatever i go for me to get better and to give it forward. Thats my agenda, I am the Librarian too. Well there are two members th...

Doozy · Doozy

Okay, I almost don't want to ask this question because I'm afraid I already know the answer and I don't like it :) What do y'all recommend regarding dating during recovery in Alanon? I'm in my early 30s. Two months ago I ended a serious, long-term relationship with my addict, alcoholic boyfriend. We'd...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Over the past maybe 6 months, my 35 year old AD (who doesn't work any kind of program though she has gone to a "few" AA meetings over the years with friends) has started to sometimes show some clarity of thinking, where she is beginning to recognize that drinking/using may possibly be causing some probl...

a4l · a4l

I was upset this morning at 5 am to hear the disease has kicked in agaim for my mother. I had sent her a picture of the grandkids with the ah who is back in island of heritage. I didn't really want to send it because I thought it might just be an opportunity for rejection. But I did anyway. I felt very angry th...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hello Friends, Who has gone thru the roller coaster ride as I am right now? Hubby was sober for a couple weeks, then then drinks again, this time for three days. This is round 3 of sober/not sober. I hug and praise him and express how happy I am when he is clear. I enjoy the moments of sobriety but gear my m...

Kimarin · Kimarin

I have been married for 26 years and met her way before that. I can tell within a few moments if she has been drinking. I have not had a problem with substance abuse or drinking myself but I have plenty of my own issues beyond those. I actually have no idea where to begin but I am at my limits and probably ha...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

Hi all, haven't been on here in awhile, been so busy working and just dealing with life. Anyway, my AH has been working a recovery program (AA) for almost a year. He's been doing great--we've been doing great. Almost too good to be true. Well it was. Just found out that he's been smoking pot. I know I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about humility and how it can be tough to embrace. Often we are taught from early ages to place the wants and needs of others before our own. We then equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own needs and feelings. In the program, we learn that true humility is not...

Cindy1954 · Cindy1954

I've been dealing with my sister's disease and to get along have walked on egg shells. We have a family farm together. She has been verbally abusive to me and just mean. It has to all go her way in everything. I started adding boundaries and have gotten major pushback. Her attitude in my opinion...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I'm struggling with some anxiety and obssessive thinking. I know the tools and sayings. Letting it go is easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to bring "God" or HP into it. Helps to be mindful, talk to supports. But even then, letting go of intrusive, unproductive, anxious thoughts is a challenge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Letting go stinks! I am finishing my last post that I did on my thread. Under don't know what to do today? I am greatly saddened by my friend moving away. I am actually feeling a sense of grief & she hasn't left yet!!!! When someone goes through life experiences w you like no other it is hard to see any wa...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays C2C (and yes, I've checked and double checked that I have the right one this time, lol) speaks about how when many of us come to al-anon, we don't know who we are. Many of us have spent a lifetime knowing all about the wants, needs, opinions, likes and dislikes of everyone around us but had no idea of...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Just a few hours ago my husband once again told me he's going out to drink with his friends this friday evening. I didn't say a word, I was caught unguarded at that moment and I don't know how to react so I just froze as though I heard nothing, naturally he didn't like my reaction. I just said I will not ha...

lookingup · lookingup

i don't know what principles is cal taking about ???? Need answers for this one. And personalities to me would be each and every one we are individuals with diff, personalities weather one is an addict or alcoholis or are not an addict or alcoholic same applies ,I know some people's personalities ca...

lookingup · lookingup

Last few days or so ,my a/sister has been ignoring me ,if I ask her something she keeps walking then when I tell her I need to ask her something concerning finances ,bills etc...she turns at me with a acowl on her face ,she stays in her bedroom,my x/bf came to visit and you couldn't have poured sugar on her a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am not sure how I want to approach the rest of this beautiful day! I for sure want to continue my gratitude mission. I guess I want to spread the love... Today could be one of my best days if I just let it be. It seems that no matter what happens I can start my day over if I need to. But, I have a feeling that I am no...

Giancarlo · Giancarlo

I'm not really sure how to start this, my therapist thinks it would be productive for me to post here, maybe help me find some catharsis. I guess the easiest place to start is with the obvious. I'm here because I was raised in an abusive environment.. I like saying it like that "abusive environment" if...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

There was a challenge I saw on FB (I think) to participate in writing a letter a day for every day in the month of April and I accepted the challenge. Thirty letters in thirty days. I wrote on my calendar for the entire month who I would write to and I tried hard to stick to it. Only one day did I forget to wri...

Fedora · Fedora

background to my post ... Today my spouse and I made an arrangement to meet up at kids' school where we would attend a kid related event, and I would take the kids from there to next thing. As soon as I met them, my "somebody has been drinking" radar went up. He had that "squinty eye" look (I don't know how to...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about the concept of humility, and how we can perceive it to mean placing the wants and needs of others above our own, taking care of others and ignoring our own needs. In al-anon we learn that humility isn't about self deprivation or neglect, but rather about doing our part in our rela...

FHP · FHP

My AH and I started marriage counseling yesterday, last ditch effort to save the marriage. It was ok, mostly just setting up how it all works. Untill yesterday, the only communication we had was via text, and then only about logistics. His sponsor suggested doing that because we'd been in a cycle of hi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a complete internal meltdown this morning. The OCD Genie has been out of his bottle just lately. I hate that guy. We had a night and a day of really extreme weather and I was up most of the night listening to things bang around in the wind. There were lots of warnings to stay indoors, park cars away from...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This has been a really intense week. I'm currently doing a full time study load plus 2 extra subjects, and tonight, I had 4 assignments due at midnight, so I've been stuck in a chair typing non stop all week. Anyway I submitted everything at 10 minutes to midnight (I'm sure that's the title of a book lol) a...

SCGirl84 · SCGirl84

Hello everyone. I hope that I have found a place to get everything out there and find the help needed. My story is a little long, but it will give you an idea on where to even start. I met a guy who was in a rehab facility. We started dating and I would pick him up on the weekends and we would spend time together t...

lookingup · lookingup

while waiting on dr office to open a man was waiting also so decided he started talking to me so the conversation goes on for 10 mins ,then he ask if it's OK to change ph no.i say why not it's just for friendship only or go drink a cup of coffee,I'm at dr ,sick with crud he is there broken down on the verge of losi...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Sound familiar? My 35 year old AD makes lots of bad choices (surprise!). I tryto remain positive, steer conversations away from ones in which she talks about illegal activities, reminding her yhat I do not want to hear about drugs/drug use etc. When she asks me what she should in in various difficult...

El · El

I have been with my alcoholic SO for 13 years; living together for the past 5. Our friends and family "get" him and know how he gets when he drinks too much. Although it is embarrassing and distressing, no one is surprised by his behavior. The problem I have is when my brother comes to visit from out of t...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm beating myself up with ..not being or going to church,my church family has tried and tried to get me to attend church with no avail,I'm feeling like I'm just not ready,why ,I don't know really myself,recovery right now ,my step program is most important to me and priority for most part and it's work...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Woo hoo! It's been a month since my AH's last drink. That is the longest (aside from when he was recovering from open heart surgery) that he has gone without drinking in about ten years. My question is...do I celebrate this? Do I congratulate him, or do something special? I'm interested in hearing yo...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I've been busy and haven't been on here in a while. But, a lot has been happening. I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to be getting pictures of my daughter soon. I think I may have had a miscarriage. Boyfriend still isn't drinking and his daughter went back to her mother's about a week ago. I've ha...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

So, I think I mentioned that I was very sick last summer. My Dad passed in February, and then in May I got really, really sick. Without going into detail, I will share that we were told that if I had waited two more days, before going to the Emergency Room, I would not be here. I was in the hospital for eleven d...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- This reading speaks to the sanity as described in step two: 'came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity'. The writer acknowledges that insanity for many of us is holding on to the defects within us. Not that the defects themselves- jealousy,...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH was intoxicated last night and he started telling my daughter some ridiculously untrue story about almost selling her to the circus and about how she outran a wolf as a toddler. It was quite honestly very ridiculous. She's 7 and she seemed to believe it and asked him several times if it was true. ...

lookingup · lookingup

hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu

oceanpine · oceanpine

My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...

joker · joker

I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...

Aerin · Aerin

He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...

lookingup · lookingup

ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	lowering expectations. (Preview) I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment or maybe stone dropping is a better description. I've always had this very rigid expectation around public behaviour. For myself and those around me and descended from me. I can not enjoy my coffee if anyone has messy hair or mismatched clothes, and god forbid any ch...	a4l	6	614	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	disappointment (Preview) Hi All. OK......I am working towards acceptance and detachment with love especially when expectations are not met. This week my SO was diagnosed with alcohol induced hepatitis. Doctor said he HAD to stop drinking. My SO was very down and after blaming the doctor, and bemoaning that life would n...	El	9	567	May 9, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Play (Preview) I have come to realize that most people do not know how to play. They know how to be responsible, work hard, take everything way to seriously however have forgotten how to really play and not in a mean way play with each other. It always shocks me when I'm engaging with someone and they are so surprised b...	SerenityRUS	5	581	May 9, 2016 by Ifnotforgrace
	Courage To Change 9/5 (Preview) Today's C2C is about being able to acknowledge our own assets, and how that is so embarrassing and difficult for many of us at first. The reading suggests that we can begin by accepting kindness and/or compliments from others even if we think we don't deserve it, and that we can let others know that we ap...	missmeliss	5	509	May 9, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Tired .. an visiting this room .. alanon unity .. (Preview) I'm tired today emotionally, mentally, an spiritually .. i have a meeting i can an am going to tonight where i live .. but lately i feel the unity missing sometimes when i share online (in another site) .. i haven't shared in this site in awhile so just letting myself share (without criticism or judgment...	MeTwo2	9	593	May 9, 2016 by sweetness34
	I'm doing what I should be doing - why doesn't it get better? (Preview) I've been going to Al Anon for about 13 years now - in the early years. mainly just picking up a few tidbits here and there, kinda like an Al Anon observer, but over the past two years or so, when I retired, I've become VERY active in a few local groups - I'm learning about and living the message, and I'm espec...	texas yankee	9	745	May 9, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Today is my 15th anniversary (Preview) I've been dreading this day for awhile now. I'm glad it's here. Today is my husband and my fifteenth anniversary. Our relationship has been very very difficult for quite some time now. We've been separated for 9 months, but he is still in resistance to that. He is a good man, but his denial is so strong....	oceanpine	5	646	May 8, 2016 by oceanpine
	C2C May 8,2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 8 th talks about the phrase," Yes but." The reading points out that we don't have to like reality however we do have to *accept* it for what it is. Your day is too precious to waste by wishing it away in fantasy and day dreams. The reading points out that if we I spend our time wishing t...	hotrod	3	453	May 8, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Me and my sponsor (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to all the moms! I want to give a special shout out to my sponsor who by virtue of our relationship is a kind of "mother figure" for me. She volunteers her time and energy to me (and others) and never complains! My own mom is crippled in a nursing home and has dementia. It is wonderful...	Lyne	3	335	May 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	i am crying my eyes out! (Preview) I am going to make this quick like the goodbye my friend said in several texts. I won't see her for awhile so I am grieving right now. I mentioned her before. May God richly bless her. Thanks to all of you who have who have been following my journey towards wellness.	Hoot Nanny	7	2320	May 8, 2016 by lookingup
	Reaction to alanon (Preview) The last time I went to a f2f meeting was a couple of years ago. I am ready to go again and am wondering about the best way to handle it. Last time my AH was very sarcastic and accusatory about my meetings. I didn't lie where I was going. Monday night was alanon. When I came home he would accuse me of telling sto...	El	7	686	May 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Need help in entering meeting/chat room (Preview) I replaced "mib_n7east" with my nickname and I still couldn't get in. No error message, it just returns to the screen with "mib_n7east" in it. Am I doing it the right way?	jocelgp	2	387	May 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Memories (Preview) I realize that the Kentucky Derby is tomorow. It gives me a bad feeling in my heart and stomach because this is the first time that I will be watching it alone. XAH likes to bet on it and no matter where we were in our relationship, we managed to sit and watch it, pick horses etc. Sometimes if i picked the winn...	YARNCRAZY	4	493	May 7, 2016 by Taraxacum
	New perspective (Preview) I have discovered why I just should not date .. they keep coming back .. LOL .. j/k although I did have the experience of running into my Romeo from December today at my coffee shop and all I could think was God love the man. Yes leave it to me in the little state of Texas to run into the guy I dated 2x since my sp...	SerenityRUS	6	540	May 7, 2016 by Jen61
	My phone is really smart (Preview) I wanted to share a fun discovery that some of you might appreciate. My phone has that predictive spelling feature, where after you type in a word it suggests the next word you could enter. Earlier today I typed the words "You are not ..." and my very smart phone suggested as the next word, "alone." "Y...	Freetime	2	427	May 7, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C Reading 5-7-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 7 th speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It suggests that if a person with the disease could stop --many would have done so long ago. . When we finally come to realize that we cannot fight a disease and that it does us no good to plead or to reason with a disease., we do not nee...	hotrod	1	470	May 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/6/16 (Preview) The reading today discusses Step 5 and how at first glance, it appears to be daunting. Most of us spent so much energy and time into hiding the truth as we had fear of rejection from others. After all, we had tried so hard to be perfect and present the perfect front Most of us were isolated and lonely as i...	Iamhere	12	648	May 6, 2016 by hotrod
	AH drinking again, I'm no longer feeling anger but feeling extremely sad (Preview) My AH still denies he's an alcoholic. He's a periodic binge drinker and he's drinking again on a weekly basis. To give you an idea he's the between number One and number Two husband in "To Wives" chapter of AA's Big Book. I think I have accepted the three C's , that I could only change myself, I have stop...	jocelgp	6	636	May 6, 2016 by jocelgp
	Online sponsor (Preview) I need an online sponsor to help me get through staying away from my relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend. Please help.	jagadamba	1	409	May 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Business mtg timing? (Preview) Is there a protocol for how soon to start business meeting? Is asking for 10-15 minutes start time too much to ask Of members? i like to converse, greet new members, give hugs whatever i go for me to get better and to give it forward. Thats my agenda, I am the Librarian too. Well there are two members th...	Mirandac	4	561	May 6, 2016 by Mirandac
	Question about dating .... (Preview) Okay, I almost don't want to ask this question because I'm afraid I already know the answer and I don't like it :) What do y'all recommend regarding dating during recovery in Alanon? I'm in my early 30s. Two months ago I ended a serious, long-term relationship with my addict, alcoholic boyfriend. We'd...	Doozy	19	3018	May 6, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	My AD is starting to sometimes take a look at her drinking/using (Preview) Over the past maybe 6 months, my 35 year old AD (who doesn't work any kind of program though she has gone to a "few" AA meetings over the years with friends) has started to sometimes show some clarity of thinking, where she is beginning to recognize that drinking/using may possibly be causing some probl...	lgnutah	2	470	May 6, 2016 by Mike B
	powerless. (Preview) I was upset this morning at 5 am to hear the disease has kicked in agaim for my mother. I had sent her a picture of the grandkids with the ah who is back in island of heritage. I didn't really want to send it because I thought it might just be an opportunity for rejection. But I did anyway. I felt very angry th...	a4l	6	550	May 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Sobriety Roller Coaster (Preview) Hello Friends, Who has gone thru the roller coaster ride as I am right now? Hubby was sober for a couple weeks, then then drinks again, this time for three days. This is round 3 of sober/not sober. I hug and praise him and express how happy I am when he is clear. I enjoy the moments of sobriety but gear my m...	Worried Wife	4	484	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hi (Preview) I have been married for 26 years and met her way before that. I can tell within a few moments if she has been drinking. I have not had a problem with substance abuse or drinking myself but I have plenty of my own issues beyond those. I actually have no idea where to begin but I am at my limits and probably ha...	Kimarin	4	427	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Clean and Sober? (Preview) Hi all, haven't been on here in awhile, been so busy working and just dealing with life. Anyway, my AH has been working a recovery program (AA) for almost a year. He's been doing great--we've been doing great. Almost too good to be true. Well it was. Just found out that he's been smoking pot. I know I...	Yankeerose	10	671	May 5, 2016 by Yankeerose
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/5/2016 (Preview) Today's reading is about humility and how it can be tough to embrace. Often we are taught from early ages to place the wants and needs of others before our own. We then equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own needs and feelings. In the program, we learn that true humility is not...	Iamhere	5	615	May 5, 2016 by Katsfree
	working on detaching and finding my joy (Preview) I've been dealing with my sister's disease and to get along have walked on egg shells. We have a family farm together. She has been verbally abusive to me and just mean. It has to all go her way in everything. I started adding boundaries and have gotten major pushback. Her attitude in my opinion...	Cindy1954	5	519	May 5, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Letting go (Preview) I'm struggling with some anxiety and obssessive thinking. I know the tools and sayings. Letting it go is easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to bring "God" or HP into it. Helps to be mindful, talk to supports. But even then, letting go of intrusive, unproductive, anxious thoughts is a challenge...	pinkchip	5	571	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	i am upset! don't know what to do... (Preview) Letting go stinks! I am finishing my last post that I did on my thread. Under don't know what to do today? I am greatly saddened by my friend moving away. I am actually feeling a sense of grief & she hasn't left yet!!!! When someone goes through life experiences w you like no other it is hard to see any wa...	Hoot Nanny	3	377	May 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 4/5 (Preview) Todays C2C (and yes, I've checked and double checked that I have the right one this time, lol) speaks about how when many of us come to al-anon, we don't know who we are. Many of us have spent a lifetime knowing all about the wants, needs, opinions, likes and dislikes of everyone around us but had no idea of...	missmeliss	5	459	May 4, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	panic attacks!!! (Preview) Just a few hours ago my husband once again told me he's going out to drink with his friends this friday evening. I didn't say a word, I was caught unguarded at that moment and I don't know how to react so I just froze as though I heard nothing, naturally he didn't like my reaction. I just said I will not ha...	jocelgp	10	590	May 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Principles above personalities (Preview) i don't know what principles is cal taking about ???? Need answers for this one. And personalities to me would be each and every one we are individuals with diff, personalities weather one is an addict or alcoholis or are not an addict or alcoholic same applies ,I know some people's personalities ca...	lookingup	3	809	May 4, 2016 by lookingup
	Alanon learning or how to use alanon (Preview) Last few days or so ,my a/sister has been ignoring me ,if I ask her something she keeps walking then when I tell her I need to ask her something concerning finances ,bills etc...she turns at me with a acowl on her face ,she stays in her bedroom,my x/bf came to visit and you couldn't have poured sugar on her a...	lookingup	9	479	May 4, 2016 by lookingup
	not sure what to do today?? (Preview) I am not sure how I want to approach the rest of this beautiful day! I for sure want to continue my gratitude mission. I guess I want to spread the love... Today could be one of my best days if I just let it be. It seems that no matter what happens I can start my day over if I need to. But, I have a feeling that I am no...	Hoot Nanny	11	463	May 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	How I remember them/moving forward (Preview) I'm not really sure how to start this, my therapist thinks it would be productive for me to post here, maybe help me find some catharsis. I guess the easiest place to start is with the obvious. I'm here because I was raised in an abusive environment.. I like saying it like that "abusive environment" if...	Giancarlo	6	538	May 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reaching out with healing words (Preview) There was a challenge I saw on FB (I think) to participate in writing a letter a day for every day in the month of April and I accepted the challenge. Thirty letters in thirty days. I wrote on my calendar for the entire month who I would write to and I tried hard to stick to it. Only one day did I forget to wri...	Bethany66	6	571	May 4, 2016 by milkwood
	working on step 1 and ruminating about other issues like detachment (Preview) background to my post ... Today my spouse and I made an arrangement to meet up at kids' school where we would attend a kid related event, and I would take the kids from there to next thing. As soon as I met them, my "somebody has been drinking" radar went up. He had that "squinty eye" look (I don't know how to...	Fedora	6	537	May 4, 2016 by sweeetr
	Courage To Change 2/5 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about the concept of humility, and how we can perceive it to mean placing the wants and needs of others above our own, taking care of others and ignoring our own needs. In al-anon we learn that humility isn't about self deprivation or neglect, but rather about doing our part in our rela...	missmeliss	8	465	May 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Need some input about what tools to use (Preview) My AH and I started marriage counseling yesterday, last ditch effort to save the marriage. It was ok, mostly just setting up how it all works. Untill yesterday, the only communication we had was via text, and then only about logistics. His sponsor suggested doing that because we'd been in a cycle of hi...	FHP	5	386	May 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Sage advice, Grandma. (Preview) I had a complete internal meltdown this morning. The OCD Genie has been out of his bottle just lately. I hate that guy. We had a night and a day of really extreme weather and I was up most of the night listening to things bang around in the wind. There were lots of warnings to stay indoors, park cars away from...	missmeliss	7	593	May 4, 2016 by Jen61
	Oh no :-( (Preview) This has been a really intense week. I'm currently doing a full time study load plus 2 extra subjects, and tonight, I had 4 assignments due at midnight, so I've been stuck in a chair typing non stop all week. Anyway I submitted everything at 10 minutes to midnight (I'm sure that's the title of a book lol) a...	missmeliss	19	806	May 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	My story (Preview) Hello everyone. I hope that I have found a place to get everything out there and find the help needed. My story is a little long, but it will give you an idea on where to even start. I met a guy who was in a rehab facility. We started dating and I would pick him up on the weekends and we would spend time together t...	SCGirl84	11	684	May 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Met someone new (Preview) while waiting on dr office to open a man was waiting also so decided he started talking to me so the conversation goes on for 10 mins ,then he ask if it's OK to change ph no.i say why not it's just for friendship only or go drink a cup of coffee,I'm at dr ,sick with crud he is there broken down on the verge of losi...	lookingup	1	407	May 3, 2016 by hotrod
	When your A turns vicious if you won't pay for the A's mistakes (Preview) Sound familiar? My 35 year old AD makes lots of bad choices (surprise!). I tryto remain positive, steer conversations away from ones in which she talks about illegal activities, reminding her yhat I do not want to hear about drugs/drug use etc. When she asks me what she should in in various difficult...	lgnutah	4	520	May 3, 2016 by LinSC
	How to handle embarrassment? (Preview) I have been with my alcoholic SO for 13 years; living together for the past 5. Our friends and family "get" him and know how he gets when he drinks too much. Although it is embarrassing and distressing, no one is surprised by his behavior. The problem I have is when my brother comes to visit from out of t...	El	12	620	May 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Beating myself up (Preview) I'm beating myself up with ..not being or going to church,my church family has tried and tried to get me to attend church with no avail,I'm feeling like I'm just not ready,why ,I don't know really myself,recovery right now ,my step program is most important to me and priority for most part and it's work...	lookingup	6	672	May 3, 2016 by lookingup
	It's been a month. (Preview) Woo hoo! It's been a month since my AH's last drink. That is the longest (aside from when he was recovering from open heart surgery) that he has gone without drinking in about ten years. My question is...do I celebrate this? Do I congratulate him, or do something special? I'm interested in hearing yo...	sweetness34	9	502	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	Been Missing for a While (Preview) I've been busy and haven't been on here in a while. But, a lot has been happening. I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to be getting pictures of my daughter soon. I think I may have had a miscarriage. Boyfriend still isn't drinking and his daughter went back to her mother's about a week ago. I've ha...	WhiskeyLullabye	6	656	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	When two people you love are at odds (Preview) So, I think I mentioned that I was very sick last summer. My Dad passed in February, and then in May I got really, really sick. Without going into detail, I will share that we were told that if I had waited two more days, before going to the Emergency Room, I would not be here. I was in the hospital for eleven d...	sweetness34	11	711	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	Hope for Today May 3 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- This reading speaks to the sanity as described in step two: 'came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity'. The writer acknowledges that insanity for many of us is holding on to the defects within us. Not that the defects themselves- jealousy,...	yanksfan51	3	448	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	AH telling daughter "stories" (Preview) My AH was intoxicated last night and he started telling my daughter some ridiculously untrue story about almost selling her to the circus and about how she outran a wolf as a toddler. It was quite honestly very ridiculous. She's 7 and she seemed to believe it and asked him several times if it was true. ...	KT2015	6	597	May 3, 2016 by KT2015
	Higher power (Preview) hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu	lookingup	3	440	May 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Would like some ESH (Preview) My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...	oceanpine	7	607	May 3, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Grateful today (Preview) I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...	joker	1	428	May 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	He Refuses To See Drinking As Bad (Preview) He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...	Aerin	8	628	May 2, 2016 by KT2015
	Learned valuable lesson from boyfriend (Preview) Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...	YARNCRAZY	6	581	May 2, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change Reading 4-30-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...	hotrod	4	616	May 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	Going to japan (Preview) ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...	lookingup	5	665	May 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Priorities (Preview) I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...	Jennyp	6	596	May 2, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.