Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

a4l · a4l

I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...

Detached · Detached

I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...

eliza098 · eliza098

Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...

Tired Mom2 · Tired Mom2

I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...

Jax · Jax

Hey, I'm new to using the al anon forum and I don't really understand how to use the forums correctly. Any advise or direction would be great! Thanks and I'm glad to be part of the al anon family forum.

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I went to an open AA meeting with my AW. It was a nice experience. We have our son in a camp this weekend so I could go. My wife got her 60 day coin which I have to say is the most proud I have been of her. Several people talked about avoiding conflict and how being happy is better than being right. It struck m...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I often post that my improved relationship with my mom is one of the gifts I have recieved from this program but yesterday and today have been horrible. Last night I invited her to have dinner with us and she made a very hurtful mean comment her old MO that really bothered me so I told her it hurt. To whic...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have a very unusual situation and i have some shame writing about it but my ex husband has legal troubles and they are very serious and he is set for a trial next Fall. I have a 13 year old son and he was taking care of us financially for 12 years. I am now starting to figure out what to do to make a...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I often have a hard time hearing my HP's voice and I pray a lot for the ability to hear it. I want very much to know God's will and to have the power to carry it out. Sometimes I just don't hear anything, and other times, I hear contradictory things. And I don't even know what I want anymore -- I used to have a *ve...

KT2015 · KT2015

I went to my meeting last night and the topic was Surrender/letting go. It was a great topic and I left in such a peaceful state. So many great shares that I am still thinking about this morning. This morning I feel the presence and peace of my HP more than I ever have before. My morning has been so peace...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

My wife is leaving rehab on Friday. It seems that she is taking this really seriously and I am cautiously optimistic. Here's our story. She has always been a borderline alcoholic but about 3 years ago she turned a corner for the worse. She started drinking heavily every night. She rarely came to be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author in One Day at a Time in AlAnon describes a situation where a member, upon hearing about another's difficult situation, supplied the unsolicited opinion: "I just wouldn't put up with it!" From the perspective of the member in the situation, however, they were not passively "puttin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to follow the input of my HP. 17 years ago one of my recovering AA sisters dropped by my office and asked me to come out to speak with her own sister. I was managing an auto dealership and she was in a jeep parked at the entrance. When I got to the Jeep a body form was on the passenger side slumped against th...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step work BoardHere is the address: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62664641/...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL). But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling perso...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Been doing a lot of thinking since finding this site about my past relationships and why I always end up with an addict. Trying to do a self-inventory of me and my issues. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me (slapped across my face more times than I can count) and was constantly told h...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Thinking back it was a year ago today that my ex ABF got out of a treatment center (after 9 days - that's all he could afford to pay for) and met me and told me "I've had 3 people in the past week, my counselor and both my sponsors, tell me that in order to focus and be honest about my sobriety I have to end this aff...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for September 18 speaks about the Al-Anon program taking time and that it is progress not perfection that we seek. Time offers evidence that teh Al-Anon program works because we can see the growth in our lives and the lives of other members . When we take the time to reflect, we will see t...

sunshine80 · sunshine80

I have been with my SI for over a year now and I didn't really notice his alcohol problems until his mother passed away last October. At that time, he seemed to lose control over his entire world, he lost his job, his apartment, his health went down hill, and we broke up for about a month. He ended up movin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

This past Wednesday, my F2F Al-Anon group had a pot luck. It's always a great time and we end up with more folks than typical - so the more the merrier. I have been the one who suggests them and have no problem putting together a sign-up sheet and sending out reminders - it's an easy process for me and I hav...

Ceelee · Ceelee

Just for today, this day only, I will leave my AH alone. I will not ask him if he has been drinking or where he has been. Just for today, this day only, I will not judge anyone, even myself. Just for today, this day only, I will not react in haste and anger. I will think first. Just for today, this day only, I wi...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

Hi all, So I'm fairly triggered atm and don't really have anyone I can call. My AH has been gone for 2 mos of job training in another state and was supposed to fly home tonight. He made it to his layover, with about an hour layover...actually 90 mins I think. Somehow he managed to miss his connection, said...

Ann_M_Y · Ann_M_Y

This is my first time using this board or even considering an Al-Anon support group. My Husband is an alcoholic. I have been dealing with his drinking off and on for 14 years. He has had sober periods. One even lasted three years. (it was bliss). He just got out of an alcohol detox 10 days and starting drin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Please join us for an Alanon 10 AM meeting in the MIP chatroom. :) TT

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...

Emma123 · Emma123

My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...

MVaslovik · MVaslovik

I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...

Crau · Crau

We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...

2HP · 2HP

Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...

burr1017 · burr1017

With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...

Chris John · Chris John

Hi all, Last summer vacation was very boring for our kids. They complained about the last vacation. I was little busy during their vacation time. So for the coming December, we planned to go out for a trip to Algonquin Park, Ontario /. There are many thrilling games and activities for the kids. But the t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't miss a lot about an alcoholic relationship, and I know myself well enough to know I can be friends with an A. As much as they will allow it however the walls that are so thick when it comes to the disease is sad state. It won't allow closeness it won't allow true intimacy and it won't allow truth int...

joker · joker

Wednesday night I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and I came out of the meeting angry as ever. I was angry at what alcoholism has done to me and other...and the mess we are left to clean up. The next day, I was in a angrier mood. What is going on. Today, I feel back on track. Any feedback would be great!

El · El

Talk about the power of slogans! If they aren't a part of your repertoire yet, really work on putting them into you life! Rather than debate a point to death, (like I would have in the past) now I go to, " How important is it?" OR " Keep it simple." OR " Do I want to be right or be peaceful?" My current favorit...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My trust in my husband is the one greatly and severely damaged in our relationship. Being aware and accepting the reality of alcoholic behaviors, he could just be doing a ploy or manipulation. I have to admit I do doubt his sincerity and honesty even after that heart to heart talk that his drinking is...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I am getting anxious and panicky, I'm a bit trembling. I've been trying to detach from whatever my AH will do next. I have to be honest that I am hoping that he will be true to his intention to not drink anymore, but I also know that there is a big possibility that he will not be able to live up to it. He's a bi...

Emma123 · Emma123

Hi all I'm new to Al Anon. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Father was an alcoholic. Mother was probably codependent. It was a difficult childhood. Left home at 18. Thought I'd overcome childhood. I was always very clear I didn't want to meet a guy who had a drink or drug addiction. Although I dated guys i...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I've shared my story before so I'll just give a summary of what is relevant. Alcoholic wife who cheated multiple times. She went through rehab a month ago. Lots of trust issues on my part that didn't exist prior to the last 2 or 3 years. I have heard and read how the recovery process is selfish at first....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about worry, acceptance, obsessing and faith. The quote is from William Shakespeare ---- "Nothing is either good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so." Our Reminder for the day suggests --- "My Higher Power's gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard a...

KT2015 · KT2015

Last night I came home to unexpectedly find my AH drinking. I say unexpectedly because he had been trying to stop drinking during the week for his health and had some success. It took me a few moments of conversation to realize he was drunk. This used to get under my skin like crazy before I would thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka family....Good Morning (Hilo time). Dogs are walked, coffee made and my literature came out on the table. Its quiet as my wife continues to slumber getting the morning cob webs detached. The messages and guidance of our ODAT, Courage to Change and our Hope for Today are like spi...

CEH · CEH

Well my husband is 22 days sober today and I am not making it easy on him. I was feeling very sorry for myself yesterday and let it all come out on my AH. If you go and read my bio it will explain all that I let out. The day started out upsetting for me and so I sent him an email and he didn't respond. I told him w...

CEH · CEH

I found a meeting in my area, but they only meet on Mondays. I will go next Monday. I can't find a Al-Anonteen meeting in my area only one that is an hour away. My girls are so busy there is no way to get them there. Do any of you have any suggestions on online AnAnonteen supports? I have a 17 year old, 16 ye...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I don't know where else to reach out. The last week or two been horrible. My AH is so bad and I am struggling and so are our kids. My 16 yr old daughter has been struggling with anorexia/ bulimia as well as self mutilation. It all started about 2.5 years ago when I separated from my AH. We found a good dictir th...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

I made the decision to leave my ABF. I've come to terms with the fact that I've probably been headed this way for a while, ever since he got kicked out of school. But I stood by him and tried to make it work. But, I guess I began to resent the fact that I was trying to work two jobs and go back to school while he wou...

PatG1025 · PatG1025

I feel my problem is probably one that is not experienced much by others, but here goes. My alcoholic husband, who was 20 years sober at the time, died 3 years ago. I didn't realize then how much time, effort and energy I spent taking care of him during his last few years of illness (he suffered from cirrho...

seahorselady · seahorselady

Hi all, I talked to my AS person to person for the first time tonight and it was very difficult to hear him crying and expressing his hopelessness. Through it all I was able to listen, acknowledge and support him while also reiterating how it was not mine to fix and that only he had the power to do that for hi...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi There, I was in program for 10 years and then moved to a small canadian city and in the meetings they gossip and cross talk so I am now doing phone meetings but I will try again. Lately, after I had a traumatic event with my ex husband and my 85 year old alcoholic father I was deeply triggered into a Dark...

hope for the hopeless · hope for the hopeless

Hi. My name is Hope. I have been an active AA member for 26 years now. Some of the people at our meetings often talk about "detach with love." My husband is still drinking and making my life miserable. I would love to hear your wisdom of experience, strength and hope of how to deal with him and his drinking a...

CEH · CEH

My story is what I would consider a complicated story. I will start my story with what has happened to bring me to Al-Anon in the present time and then fill in the back story after I have fully explained how my life has turned upside down. On August 19, 2016 I answered the phone at work to hear my husban...

e_i_m · e_i_m

My crazy behavior seeps into many interactions, not just with alcoholics. (Because it's *my* insanity). It's so nice to be able to laugh about it sometimes. I am a host on a home-sharing web site. I was just changing the sheets in anticipation of a new guest and I remembered how my crazy controlling in...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Just wanted to share a little. I notice as time goes on and I live and work my program, nothing is a big deal anymore. Everything is in perspective and manageable. Just going along, living by the Steps, literature etc. Everything falls into place. Yes, even with an active AH in our home. It feels like a m...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

My wife just recently returned from rehab. She is doing well. We have had some issues and they may have been caused by my own insecurities. Anyway, she threw me a birthday party last week. She bought some beer and some wine that she wouldn't have liked for the guests. I had a beer and offered to other...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes AlAnon's spiritual nature, as opposed to a religious one. While we are free to pursue whatever religious concept we prefer on our own, the purpose of AlAnon is to help us create a 'heavenly' oasis from the effects of alcohol in someone we know.The author notes, however, that som...

joker · joker

Just had another insight. I see my part in this and what treatment I have been receiving from my abf. He will sober up for a bit, get a job, stay focused, church, work at a job, give me money from his pay check to pay his bills, (we have our own bills and bank accounts, as we are not legally married), he gives me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	aversion (Preview) I am finding myself a lot simpler as a person which is good. Yet I'm also struggling not to be a judgemental ass. I am utterly averse to those I perceive as intentionally emotionally weak. I always suspect victim routine is a form of manipulation mostly based on direct experiences with masters of it. An...	a4l	6	459	Sep 21, 2016 by el-cee
	Realization (Preview) I love this board, even if it is just to vent and put into writing the thoughts that are swirling in my head! I'm trying not to make any rash decisions in my recovery, but I feel stuck. I am married to a person who, although he is highly functional, has multiple addictions and no desire to stop. I have detach...	Detached	5	418	Sep 20, 2016 by deacon
	Closing Out the Birthday....Just a bit of Sadness (Preview) I learned in Al-Anon to focus on what is working vs. what is not working. As I reflect on my life since coming to the program, things have improved. I am grateful beyond words most of the time. Then, we have those days that society normalizes - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. I am working m...	Iamhere	10	573	Sep 20, 2016 by geems
	I am fed up with my daughter (Preview) Hi, I am Elizabeth from British Columbia. I am disturbed and worried about my daughter's behaviour and she is almost out of my control. I am badly in need of a suggestion. She was into smoking in the initial stage now she is into smoking and alcohol use too. I have been trying convincing her regarding the...	eliza098	2	443	Sep 20, 2016 by Mattie
	Hope for Today Sept 20 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had b...	yanksfan51	2	387	Sep 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do I help my 31 yr. Old Son (Preview) I am new here and I am reaching out for help. My Son is 31 yrs old. He has been struggling with addiction for many yrs. He just got out of detox one week ago today. I had to call a ambulance one hour ago because he OD on Fentanyl. I am at my wit's end. He has no where else to go. He came to my home after his last inpati...	Tired Mom2	20	721	Sep 20, 2016 by eliza098
	New to Online Forums (Preview) Hey, I'm new to using the al anon forum and I don't really understand how to use the forums correctly. Any advise or direction would be great! Thanks and I'm glad to be part of the al anon family forum.	Jax	2	339	Sep 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Went to an open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting with my AW. It was a nice experience. We have our son in a camp this weekend so I could go. My wife got her 60 day coin which I have to say is the most proud I have been of her. Several people talked about avoiding conflict and how being happy is better than being right. It struck m...	CH_Husband_Dad	10	799	Sep 19, 2016 by CH_Husband_Dad
	Issues with my mom (Preview) So I often post that my improved relationship with my mom is one of the gifts I have recieved from this program but yesterday and today have been horrible. Last night I invited her to have dinner with us and she made a very hurtful mean comment her old MO that really bothered me so I told her it hurt. To whic...	KT2015	14	806	Sep 19, 2016 by KT2015
	Need Help Letting Go and Letting GOD (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have a very unusual situation and i have some shame writing about it but my ex husband has legal troubles and they are very serious and he is set for a trial next Fall. I have a 13 year old son and he was taking care of us financially for 12 years. I am now starting to figure out what to do to make a...	Charlotte22	3	2411	Sep 19, 2016 by e_i_m
	That small, still voice (Preview) I often have a hard time hearing my HP's voice and I pray a lot for the ability to hear it. I want very much to know God's will and to have the power to carry it out. Sometimes I just don't hear anything, and other times, I hear contradictory things. And I don't even know what I want anymore -- I used to have a *ve...	e_i_m	5	2087	Sep 19, 2016 by hope for the hopeless
	Feeling calm and peaceful and not fighting it (Preview) I went to my meeting last night and the topic was Surrender/letting go. It was a great topic and I left in such a peaceful state. So many great shares that I am still thinking about this morning. This morning I feel the presence and peace of my HP more than I ever have before. My morning has been so peace...	KT2015	5	363	Sep 19, 2016 by El
	Wife leaving rehab Friday - need help (Preview) My wife is leaving rehab on Friday. It seems that she is taking this really seriously and I am cautiously optimistic. Here's our story. She has always been a borderline alcoholic but about 3 years ago she turned a corner for the worse. She started drinking heavily every night. She rarely came to be...	CH_Husband_Dad	17	715	Sep 19, 2016 by hotrod
	ODAT 9-19-16 (Preview) Today's author in One Day at a Time in AlAnon describes a situation where a member, upon hearing about another's difficult situation, supplied the unsolicited opinion: "I just wouldn't put up with it!" From the perspective of the member in the situation, however, they were not passively "puttin...	Enigmatic	2	444	Sep 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wrong again and needing (Preview) to follow the input of my HP. 17 years ago one of my recovering AA sisters dropped by my office and asked me to come out to speak with her own sister. I was managing an auto dealership and she was in a jeep parked at the entrance. When I got to the Jeep a body form was on the passenger side slumped against th...	Jerry F	6	518	Sep 19, 2016 by KT2015
	Step 2 posted to the Step Work Board (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step work BoardHere is the address: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62664641/...	hotrod	1	345	Sep 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	The results of being in the throws of alcoholism... (Preview) I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL). But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling perso...	jojo8466	7	534	Sep 18, 2016 by Jt0506
	Past relationships (Preview) Been doing a lot of thinking since finding this site about my past relationships and why I always end up with an addict. Trying to do a self-inventory of me and my issues. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me (slapped across my face more times than I can count) and was constantly told h...	jojo8466	7	456	Sep 18, 2016 by jojo8466
	Reflections.... (Preview) Thinking back it was a year ago today that my ex ABF got out of a treatment center (after 9 days - that's all he could afford to pay for) and met me and told me "I've had 3 people in the past week, my counselor and both my sponsors, tell me that in order to focus and be honest about my sobriety I have to end this aff...	jojo8466	4	352	Sep 18, 2016 by jojo8466
	Courage to Change Reading 9-18-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for September 18 speaks about the Al-Anon program taking time and that it is progress not perfection that we seek. Time offers evidence that teh Al-Anon program works because we can see the growth in our lives and the lives of other members . When we take the time to reflect, we will see t...	hotrod	2	680	Sep 18, 2016 by Enigmatic
	New Here (Preview) I have been with my SI for over a year now and I didn't really notice his alcohol problems until his mother passed away last October. At that time, he seemed to lose control over his entire world, he lost his job, his apartment, his health went down hill, and we broke up for about a month. He ended up movin...	sunshine80	4	572	Sep 18, 2016 by Jt0506
	How It Works - for me - Just for Today (Preview) This past Wednesday, my F2F Al-Anon group had a pot luck. It's always a great time and we end up with more folks than typical - so the more the merrier. I have been the one who suggests them and have no problem putting together a sign-up sheet and sending out reminders - it's an easy process for me and I hav...	Iamhere	10	1218	Sep 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	Just for today Alanon CAl Bookmark (Preview) Just for today, this day only, I will leave my AH alone. I will not ask him if he has been drinking or where he has been. Just for today, this day only, I will not judge anyone, even myself. Just for today, this day only, I will not react in haste and anger. I will think first. Just for today, this day only, I wi...	Ceelee	4	522	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Missed flights (Preview) Hi all, So I'm fairly triggered atm and don't really have anyone I can call. My AH has been gone for 2 mos of job training in another state and was supposed to fly home tonight. He made it to his layover, with about an hour layover...actually 90 mins I think. Somehow he managed to miss his connection, said...	MidnightOwl	14	694	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	I dont even know where to begin (Preview) This is my first time using this board or even considering an Al-Anon support group. My Husband is an alcoholic. I have been dealing with his drinking off and on for 14 years. He has had sober periods. One even lasted three years. (it was bliss). He just got out of an alcohol detox 10 days and starting drin...	Ann_M_Y	9	726	Sep 17, 2016 by 2HP
	Chairing Saturday Morning Alanon Meeting In Progress Pls Join Us (Preview) Please join us for an Alanon 10 AM meeting in the MIP chatroom. :) TT	tiredtonite	1	387	Sep 17, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 9-17-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...	hotrod	1	567	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sex addiction too (Preview) My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...	Emma123	22	790	Sep 17, 2016 by jitsuka
	Getting free of him (Preview) I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...	MVaslovik	17	782	Sep 17, 2016 by el-cee
	so true it's harder and behavior is worse than when he was actively drinking (Preview) Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...	jocelgp	2	522	Sep 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Filtering who I share my story with... (Preview) We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...	Crau	2	438	Sep 16, 2016 by hotrod
	CONTROLLING VS. TRUST (Preview) Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...	2HP	8	598	Sep 16, 2016 by Ann_M_Y
	Dealing with pride (Preview) I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...	CH_Husband_Dad	9	1000	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/16/16 (Preview) Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...	Iamhere	5	584	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al Anon :) So much clarity after my first meeting (Preview) With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...	burr1017	5	621	Sep 16, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Tripping with alcoholic hubby (Preview) Hi all, Last summer vacation was very boring for our kids. They complained about the last vacation. I was little busy during their vacation time. So for the coming December, we planned to go out for a trip to Algonquin Park, Ontario /. There are many thrilling games and activities for the kids. But the t...	Chris John	4	650	Sep 16, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	What I don't miss .. (Preview) I don't miss a lot about an alcoholic relationship, and I know myself well enough to know I can be friends with an A. As much as they will allow it however the walls that are so thick when it comes to the disease is sad state. It won't allow closeness it won't allow true intimacy and it won't allow truth int...	SerenityRUS	12	997	Sep 16, 2016 by Green Eyes
	Anger (Preview) Wednesday night I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and I came out of the meeting angry as ever. I was angry at what alcoholism has done to me and other...and the mess we are left to clean up. The next day, I was in a angrier mood. What is going on. Today, I feel back on track. Any feedback would be great!	joker	7	533	Sep 16, 2016 by Mirandac
	Slogan-ology (Preview) Talk about the power of slogans! If they aren't a part of your repertoire yet, really work on putting them into you life! Rather than debate a point to death, (like I would have in the past) now I go to, " How important is it?" OR " Keep it simple." OR " Do I want to be right or be peaceful?" My current favorit...	El	4	635	Sep 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Rebuilding TRUST (Preview) My trust in my husband is the one greatly and severely damaged in our relationship. Being aware and accepting the reality of alcoholic behaviors, he could just be doing a ploy or manipulation. I have to admit I do doubt his sincerity and honesty even after that heart to heart talk that his drinking is...	jocelgp	4	883	Sep 16, 2016 by hotrod
	pls help me process what I'm going thru right now (Preview) I am getting anxious and panicky, I'm a bit trembling. I've been trying to detach from whatever my AH will do next. I have to be honest that I am hoping that he will be true to his intention to not drink anymore, but I also know that there is a big possibility that he will not be able to live up to it. He's a bi...	jocelgp	30	871	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) Hi all I'm new to Al Anon. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Father was an alcoholic. Mother was probably codependent. It was a difficult childhood. Left home at 18. Thought I'd overcome childhood. I was always very clear I didn't want to meet a guy who had a drink or drug addiction. Although I dated guys i...	Emma123	8	514	Sep 16, 2016 by Emma123
	I don't know if I can accept the selfishness of recovery (Preview) I've shared my story before so I'll just give a summary of what is relevant. Alcoholic wife who cheated multiple times. She went through rehab a month ago. Lots of trust issues on my part that didn't exist prior to the last 2 or 3 years. I have heard and read how the recovery process is selfish at first....	CH_Husband_Dad	23	869	Sep 16, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about worry, acceptance, obsessing and faith. The quote is from William Shakespeare ---- "Nothing is either good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so." Our Reminder for the day suggests --- "My Higher Power's gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard a...	Iamhere	8	526	Sep 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling more peaceful (Preview) Last night I came home to unexpectedly find my AH drinking. I say unexpectedly because he had been trying to stop drinking during the week for his health and had some success. It took me a few moments of conversation to realize he was drunk. This used to get under my skin like crazy before I would thin...	KT2015	13	780	Sep 15, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	a cup of coffee with our literature (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka family....Good Morning (Hilo time). Dogs are walked, coffee made and my literature came out on the table. Its quiet as my wife continues to slumber getting the morning cob webs detached. The messages and guidance of our ODAT, Courage to Change and our Hope for Today are like spi...	Jerry F	5	840	Sep 15, 2016 by KT2015
	I have had better days. (Preview) Well my husband is 22 days sober today and I am not making it easy on him. I was feeling very sorry for myself yesterday and let it all come out on my AH. If you go and read my bio it will explain all that I let out. The day started out upsetting for me and so I sent him an email and he didn't respond. I told him w...	CEH	23	1021	Sep 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Al-Anon Teen Meetings (Preview) I found a meeting in my area, but they only meet on Mondays. I will go next Monday. I can't find a Al-Anonteen meeting in my area only one that is an hour away. My girls are so busy there is no way to get them there. Do any of you have any suggestions on online AnAnonteen supports? I have a 17 year old, 16 ye...	CEH	9	955	Sep 15, 2016 by CEH
	Taking my daughter to a treatment center for an eating disorder (Preview) I don't know where else to reach out. The last week or two been horrible. My AH is so bad and I am struggling and so are our kids. My 16 yr old daughter has been struggling with anorexia/ bulimia as well as self mutilation. It all started about 2.5 years ago when I separated from my AH. We found a good dictir th...	Ceelee	10	1043	Sep 15, 2016 by Ceelee
	Am I making the right call (Preview) I made the decision to leave my ABF. I've come to terms with the fact that I've probably been headed this way for a while, ever since he got kicked out of school. But I stood by him and tried to make it work. But, I guess I began to resent the fact that I was trying to work two jobs and go back to school while he wou...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	6	702	Sep 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Life After (Preview) I feel my problem is probably one that is not experienced much by others, but here goes. My alcoholic husband, who was 20 years sober at the time, died 3 years ago. I didn't realize then how much time, effort and energy I spent taking care of him during his last few years of illness (he suffered from cirrho...	PatG1025	10	1264	Sep 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	first time is the hardest (Preview) Hi all, I talked to my AS person to person for the first time tonight and it was very difficult to hear him crying and expressing his hopelessness. Through it all I was able to listen, acknowledge and support him while also reiterating how it was not mine to fix and that only he had the power to do that for hi...	seahorselady	13	670	Sep 15, 2016 by Jerry F
	Has Anyone Experienced a Dark Night of the Soul - Al Anon Help! (Preview) Hi There, I was in program for 10 years and then moved to a small canadian city and in the meetings they gossip and cross talk so I am now doing phone meetings but I will try again. Lately, after I had a traumatic event with my ex husband and my 85 year old alcoholic father I was deeply triggered into a Dark...	Charlotte22	10	732	Sep 15, 2016 by milkwood
	Al-anon wisdom (Preview) Hi. My name is Hope. I have been an active AA member for 26 years now. Some of the people at our meetings often talk about "detach with love." My husband is still drinking and making my life miserable. I would love to hear your wisdom of experience, strength and hope of how to deal with him and his drinking a...	hope for the hopeless	2	656	Sep 14, 2016 by hotrod
	I am new Al-Anon I am embarrassed to say "anger" has brought me here. (Preview) My story is what I would consider a complicated story. I will start my story with what has happened to bring me to Al-Anon in the present time and then fill in the back story after I have fully explained how my life has turned upside down. On August 19, 2016 I answered the phone at work to hear my husban...	CEH	19	1062	Sep 14, 2016 by CEH
	A little ESH (funny/crazy) (Preview) My crazy behavior seeps into many interactions, not just with alcoholics. (Because it's my insanity). It's so nice to be able to laugh about it sometimes. I am a host on a home-sharing web site. I was just changing the sheets in anticipation of a new guest and I remembered how my crazy controlling in...	e_i_m	2	459	Sep 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Moving forward (Preview) Just wanted to share a little. I notice as time goes on and I live and work my program, nothing is a big deal anymore. Everything is in perspective and manageable. Just going along, living by the Steps, literature etc. Everything falls into place. Yes, even with an active AH in our home. It feels like a m...	Calm Lady	5	404	Sep 14, 2016 by Ceelee
	Should I refrain from drinking? (Preview) My wife just recently returned from rehab. She is doing well. We have had some issues and they may have been caused by my own insecurities. Anyway, she threw me a birthday party last week. She bought some beer and some wine that she wouldn't have liked for the guests. I had a beer and offered to other...	CH_Husband_Dad	18	832	Sep 14, 2016 by CH_Husband_Dad
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) 9-14-16 What About Religion? (Preview) Today's reading notes AlAnon's spiritual nature, as opposed to a religious one. While we are free to pursue whatever religious concept we prefer on our own, the purpose of AlAnon is to help us create a 'heavenly' oasis from the effects of alcohol in someone we know.The author notes, however, that som...	Enigmatic	5	512	Sep 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	seeing cycle (Preview) Just had another insight. I see my part in this and what treatment I have been receiving from my abf. He will sober up for a bit, get a job, stay focused, church, work at a job, give me money from his pay check to pay his bills, (we have our own bills and bank accounts, as we are not legally married), he gives me...	joker	11	561	Sep 14, 2016 by 2HP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.