The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about worry, acceptance, obsessing and faith. The quote is from William Shakespeare ---- "Nothing is either good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so."
Our Reminder for the day suggests --- "My Higher Power's gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard as a problem is really a form of assistance."
The daily starts out with the writer's inability to sleep - tossing, turning, worrying instead. They then became a bit obsessed over this inability to sleep and had tried just about everything - hot milk, soft music, reading, etc. - even a visit to the doctor, but still struggled to get good sleep. Panic arrived over this issue.
Then, the problem was shared in an Al-Anon meeting. Another member shared a similar problem with sleep and had been helped by accepting the situation exactly as it was - fully. He admitted he was totally powerless over being able to make himself sleep well. As an after thought, he considered maybe it was a blessing as he was too tired to get into too much trouble.
Light bulb moment - compulsive worrying about a loved one's sobriety, watchful and nosy despite many attempts to mind our own business had almost been set to the side as the writer had just been too tired to spend energy there. The reading suggests there truly was only enough energy to be overly involved in anything that wasn't of direct concern. Praying for release from obsessive worry had been answered - just in an unexpected way.
Our face to face meeting yesterday was about worrying. We discussed that if we are filled with worry, we have no room in our minds/hearts to let in new/other thoughts. We discussed how when we are full of fear, we are not focused or mindful of our faith. For me, as I got healthier I was amazed at how much time I had spent focused, obsessing and worrying about others and things that were well beyond my scope.
It was almost maddening to me that I had wasted so much time/energy on things that would not happen or really affect a change. As I worked the steps and was able to own my parts and practice the principles of this program, I was grateful to get back tons of time/energy that I used to allocate towards things I could not change. Today, when I begin to worry, I am almost immediately reminded that my HP has 'this' and the outcome is not up to me - why worry and let it consume me?
I have a lovely Aunt who has passed away. She was a very grounded soul and when we would talk to her about our fears and worries, she said the same thing each and every time - "If you are worrying, you are not praying." I did not understand this for years as I felt then that there was no way God could 'fix this'.... The program helped me see how true this really is!
I am off to golf this morning - hoping to improve my game - great weather day now - storms possible tonight. Make it a great day MIP family!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for posting this powerful reminder IAH. I know when my Mom was very sick she stated that her one regret was that she wasted so much of her time "worrying about things that never happened". I did hear her but had the "worrying "habit as well and did not have a positive tool to replace it. Worrying seemed natural and not worrying silly and irresponsible.
Thanks to alanon I was given such powerful tools: such as, belief in a HP , examine my motives, stay in my own hula hoop, that worrying was no longer a "go to" tool . Today, I can readily see what a waste of time it is
Good luck with your game
Thanks Betty - my golf game is slowly, slowly improving! I came home, grabbed a bite, started to catch up here and fell into a long afternoon nap. I must have needed it!!
My mom was also a worrier as was her mother. When we discussed in our meeting yesterday, one friend shared that she thought she'd broken the habit as she sat on her hands - her mother and grandmother were hand wringing worriers. I do believe it's a hand-me-down coping mechanism for sure.
Hope your day has been blessed!! I feel like I need to brew coffee all over again!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Iamhere -- thanks for posting this! I woke up this morning having a hamster wheel of worry and an imagined conversation going over and over in my head. It was so annoying! I tried a gratitude list, which kicked it out of my head for a while, but it kept coming back. I knew it was a waste of my time, but I couldn't get it to stay away. So I prayed to my HP to remove it (with great passion) and went and walked my dog. And away it went. In the past, I felt like worrying and creating imaginary scenarios was a GREAT use of my time because then I'd be prepared for whatever disaster would come next. Seriously. Thanks to al-anon, I recognize that that's cra-cra and a huge waste of time. I'll never get those moments of time back and the worry takes away from the reality of the present. I'm so glad that I'm annoyed by my whirling worries now and try to shoo them away instead of welcoming them in.
My home group meeting tonight was on this page. A lot of people talked about their sleeplessness habits and it was so great to hear how similar and different we all are. I love my home group so much! People shared on praying, staying present, dreams, sleep, and William Shakespeare. How great is that?
I never know what my HP has in store for me. If I can stay present and open to HP's guidance, miracles await.
Great share EIM - love that you found what works for you!!! I admire my home group also - it is there I found my family that really understands me.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Very good posting and comments. I, too, am a worrier and I also don't sleep all that well. Sometimes when I wake up in the night my head is already spinning with the worry. But I am learning, little by little. And I'm starting to notice during the day little moments of happiness that are all mine. I'm hoping that just hanging around with you folks will wear off on me.
__________________
"put yourself in the place where grace can flow to you." - robert lax
Good on you Tucker - I have always had issues with sleeping....I have two books that are my 'go-to' - one is the Big Book of AA and the other is How Alanon Works. If I try to read either of these while horizontal, I can't get through more than 2-4 pages. They are both awesome tools in my toolbox but hard to focus on when horizontal.
I also started repeating the Serenity Prayer over and over instead of counting sheep. My sponsor suggested this and it does work - at least it clears the worry and I find I've fallen asleep after a few times.
Great shares all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Iamhere for sharing that reading on worrying/acceptance/faith. I too have spent a ridiculous amount of time fretting, worrying about everything under the sun and none of it was in my control to change. I sometimes feel like I lost several years of my life with that foolishness and it makes me mad at myself when I think about it. My mom was also a worrier and it used to annoy me when I was younger then I became the same way lol. Accepting that I am not in control of the universe and not responsible for everyone was so freeing to me. Hot rod, I laughed when I read your words that you used to think that not worrying was silly and irresponsible. I can recall countless times being annoyed at my husband for not worrying about the situation, going to sleep peacefully while I stewed and fretted all night conjuring up worst case scenarios. I thought he was being a bit ridiculous, just letting everything unfold as it was lol.
I do have to stay vigilant and in my own hula hoop each and every day as I can easily fall back into old behaviours.
This is all so true,thanks Iamhere for posting this daily and for all the wonderful shares on worrying,I to have this problem of worry,this helps me to be aware that there is hope ,that there's tools that work to replace the destructive tools of worrying,i.e.,belief in a hp,examine my motives,stay in my own hula hoop ,thank you Betty for sharing your tools.........hugs lu
-- Edited by lookingup on Friday 16th of September 2016 02:17:47 AM
