The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I pride myself on being a very strong and independent woman. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't. I am also very organized (probably bordering on OCD - LOL).
But one alcoholism entered my life (and I wasn't even the alcoholic) I became a weak, needy, vulnerable, reactive, controlling person. Looking back I hated myself when I acted like that!
And my house which was always kept spotless and organized became an unorganized, unrecognizable mess of clutter! My dining room table was full of mail, bills, jewelry whatever I walked into the house with just got thrown on it. I had shoes laying all over the dining room floor because whatever shoes I wore that day I took off and just left them there. Dishes in the sink....laundry all over the laundry room floor and if I got up the energy to do the laundry then it got carried upstairs in baskets and placed on the bedroom floor to just become a heaped up wrinkled mess of clean clothes to dig out of the basket to wear. I quit wearing make-up to work (and my appearance is very important to me) - I quit cooking and I slept...a lot.
This past week since I took the step that I needed to take to stop the chaos going on in my head and to take control of my life again has led me back to who I use to be before alcoholism entered my life. My house is spotless again....the clothes are not only laundered but folded and put away! I went grocery shopping this morning for the first time in weeks and the fridge is full of food! My car is clean and the gas tank is full! The bills are all paid for another month and my dining room table has no clutter on it! And I'm even back to wearing make-up even on the weekends and days I don't work!
It's amazing what happens to one's life when you choose to not be a victim to alcoholism anymore and just let the pesky disease move on to it's next victim. LOL
Agreed. That is the reason that the spouse of the founder of AA (Lois) decided to establish a recovery program for family members. That is why alanon was founded
Agreed. That is the reason that the spouse of the founder of AA (Lois) decided to establish a recovery program for family members. That is why alanon was founded
Yes I've read the Big Book of AA - Lois was Bill's wife correct?
I've been sober for 26 years but I still feel depressed and disorganized with the craziness around me. Right now, I try to ignore my husband's constant nagging to call and ask a family about the glasses he left in their house. I want to get out of here and go for a walk. Yet, I don't have the strength to do so.
Hope...AA got me sober and then Alanon helped get me more sane. I applaud you for the 26 years despite an alcoholic husband. I could not get sober with it going on in front of me. So...you are describing depression with the loss of energy and hopelessness. I might suggest seeing your doctor AND alanon. I drank to self medicate depression. I do need to take antidepressants...it just is. At least they work now that I am sober.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Sunday 18th of September 2016 04:41:00 PM
Hope... I echo pinkchip in saying what you describe sounds like depression. Antidepressants may not need to be the first point of call. I have suffered with depression since I was young, and personally for me the coping mechanisms I have learnt and the opportunity to take one on one with a counsellor is what helped me the most. Find joy in the little things, even if it's just finally finding the strength to get up and have a shower, or bigger things like telling another how you feel. And if you can, share your feelings with your husband. Let him know how the little things can feel overwhelming, like needing to make calls, ask him to help you more. You are not weak for feeling like this but strong for speaking out about it, and I would urge you to speak to your doctor and find out more about possible counselling. It sounds like there are some deeper issues going on, and talking about them is the first step to coping with them in your life (as I never truly believe these things go away, we just learn to cope better with them).
