Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fooled · Fooled

Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...

New member needs guidance · Suki

Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...

WaitingForTheSun · WaitingForTheSun

Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...

MomInMo · MomInMo

I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...

DrowningSorrow · DrowningSorrow

Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...

James Brown · James Brown

She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...

shrnp · shrnp

I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...

luv123 · luv123

So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...

vvv · vvv

Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...

KTLou · KTLou

Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...

JustForMeNow · JustForMeNow

I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...

luv123 · luv123

Left home without books and would love to hear a little about today's page - could only find some stuff about ODAT & Courage pages...Thanks in advance! Trying to stay up on my meditation pages...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP-- Today's reading is a focus on step 10--'continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it'. The writer interprets this step as a reminder that we are human and will continue to make mistakes, no matter how long in recovery. For me the difference is pr...

REEN2U · REEN2U

Sort of like calgon. Anyway. My name is Maureen. I started going to Alanon meetings religiously starting around 2005. It gave the strength and the courage to leave a bad relationship with my twins father. Around me was hell, financially, etc, but Alanon and it's members were heaven sent! I worke...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about anonymity and how it helps us find our truth and learn to share without judgement. It's considered a spiritual foundation of all our traditions, and allows us to leave behind any/all labels we've had in our pre-program lives. This necessary element of our recovery all...

a4l · a4l

God I've been doing this dance for five bloody years now. Today im sitting in my awareness of who I am internally. It's uncomfortable but exactly right. Its taken all this time to get underneath my anger. Underneath all that anger is acceptance and the will to live and move forward. Putting myself...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading helps us understand the gifts and path of self-acceptance and self-love. We are asked to consider, just for this one day, that we are spiritual beings on a spiritual journey and there is absolutely no value is beating ourselves up for our limitations, past or other! When we become im...

Voodoo · Voodoo

My qualifier has been sober for several weeks now and has been very eager to point out that I am still struggling and unhappy even though he has stopped drinking. He has been in and out of the program for decades and occasionally likes to point out where my program needs work (thanks dear ....). We had bee...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I have decided after this last battle to end my 6 year marriage. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to fight or discuss or just anything. I just don't want the battle. What have other people done? My first divorce was so bad that I think apart of my fear has to do with how bad will this one be. We have no...

pom · pom

I've come to understand that trying to force solutions is a big problem for me. My impatience and agitation and lack of trust in how things could unfold over time (and trust in a higher power). I am trying to keep this upmost in my mind, meditate on it, etc. I am trying to be more aware and catch myself every...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

For one new member, AlAnon's suggestion to focus on self as the best way to help the alcoholic seemed heartless. They decided AlAnon was not a place for them...until hearing someone's realization that the best intentions to help the alcoholic often fail, but AlAnon helps us learn a better way to help...

luv123 · luv123

1/18 Hope for today reading: This was the only thought I remembered from my first Al-Anon meeting: We can learn to live at peace with ourselves and others. "Live at peace with ourselves and others?" I wondered. "How do people do this?" From my alcoholic upbringing to my own family and workplace, I had n...

Jerry F · Jerry F

So what can I do about someone dying and what is that some one is my brother? How much if anything did I do to cause it and was I able to control and cure it? It's a God thing and perfectly acceptable and expected if alcoholism played a part in it. We were not close for many reasons the largest of which wa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Looking at a time when to have a thought meant saying a thought, today's page suggests a 'Think' before we speak approach. This is a healthy replacement to replying in anger, betraying confidence with gossip, oversharing, or offering unsolicited advice.Taking a few moments to Think allows us time...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today'a reading is on the topic of letting go. What does it mean to let go? How does it benefit us to let go? As I was reading i thought about how for me, anytime it seems difficult to let go I can usually find that my will is getting in the way. If I let go then I am not in control and if I am...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63126973/alanon-step-11-jan-1-17-2017/

WaitingForTheSun · WaitingForTheSun

Hello, I'm a newcomer here and I realize that I really need recovery to help heal me. I have heard "outreach" mentioned on phone meetings and was hoping I could do it on here as well, by putting myself out there in a moment of need. My past pains and fears of abandonment and loss have been triggered in my cu...

nanda · nanda

Hi all. My gf is recently sober (October '16). Long story short, her binge drinking had gotten to the point where I was out the door. She called me from her first AA meeting, so I decided to give her one last shot. I have not had a single drink in front of her, even in social gatherings with other people, in o...

mb2016 · mb2016

Just looking for a little guidance from you all who know the program and the disease so much better than me. My AH had a slip up on NYE, he had promised me he wouldn't drink and he did, and he didn't get drunk and stopped after I said something to him, which I did in a nice non accusatory fashion on my part. I was...

Fooled · Fooled

Hi all Ive come back after a little break to address some issues with my health and past issues. I wanted to make sure my "ammunition" was empty after growing up with an alcoholic and being married to an alcoholic and drug user fr 15 years because that is my RAH defense is that I blame him for my fathers...

GrandmaJ · GrandmaJ

Does anyone know of a group for children ages 7 - 9? I'm asking for my grand children. My adult son is a single dad & an alcoholic. I have my grandchildren with me because home life is not very good at the moment. They need help ( and so do I). Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you

LinSC · LinSC

Letting Go To "let go" does not mean to stop caring;it means I can't do it for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off; its the realization I can't control another. To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means t...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I cannot grasp this...at all. it seems all I do is avoid interaction and conversation.its like I am ignoring him and turning a blind eye to this terrible behaviour. All the while feeling angry and resentful.

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading is about coming to the realisation that we cannot stop someone else from drinking, and the freedom we attain when we finally drop the rope. Often we know this intellectually but it takes some time to actually feel it and meetings, literature and conversations with other members a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

~~It's Friday the 13th - if you are superstitious, you might want to lay low, just for today!~~ Today's reading talks about the freedom we are given to seek out our own understanding of a higher power. We find that until we can think of a God in terms that mean something to us we may struggle to turn our lif...

LinSC · LinSC

Detachment is the:-Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. -Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. -Giving another person "t...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for January 15 speaks about praying for the sobriety of the alcoholic in our lives, and then when sobriety is achieved,we begin to have fearful moments that it is not going to last. We walk around on eggshells and discover that we cannot delude ourselves into thinking that sobriety is...

vvv · vvv

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a while, but I just experienced a situation that baffled me! My ex abf (but still seeing each other) just told me that by leaving him last night and not staying with him because he was drunk was "running away from my problems." I'm trying to remind myself that what I did was...

Dlrankin · Dlrankin

AS wife died of alcholism a year ago. For all the world to see he maintained ok until a couple months ago. The first I knew he had fallen very deeply into alcohol, drugs and all that goes with it again was the morning his pickup was repossessed a couple months ago. He called very upset, crying and deeply dep...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

AH and I had a weird fight. I was happily getting ready for my son's birthday party and invited him to sit with me while I sharpened pencils. He grimaced and said, "ok" but I could tell he didn't want to. He said a lot of things - he wasn't interested in the show I suggested, he'd rather play video games, etc....

Jen · Jen

Normally I can just ignore it, but I have an aunt that I love very much that is entrenched in this political carp right now. It is so hard not to send her a message to ask her to stop sending me this hateful garbage she finds on facebook and elsewhere. I know if I say anything she will probably stop talking to m...

Dfinneman · Dfinneman

Thank you for reading this. my fiancée is six years sober from alcohol and last night we had a problem when I took her to a coworkers DJ performance at a bar We talked about the event many times, she even said she didn't mind if I had a drink ( I'm not an alcoholic or even a big drinker) but when we arrived the s...

PacMan · PacMan

Hi all, i have just joined but been looking over the forum for some time trying to make sense of things. I have an AW who has been drinking for at least 20 years. She has tried to stop many times before but with no success, even a short spell in AA. She is currently in recovery with AA and has been for the past se...

Celiavioletta · Celiavioletta

Our Son is at his wits end after 4 years of his wife's alcoholism, and 2 full rehabs, support groups, drug treatment etc etc She has lost jobs, fallen down stairs, broken her ankle, police called because she had fallen inside porch and on and on. Then she was doing really well before xmas, had gone totall...

Olivia · Olivia

Hi guys.... I feel like my story is a bit complicated, and I don't want to completely lose you in the details. Let's just say I met a guy the past July online and we sort of fell into something neither of us expected or was looking for. He told me early on that he was an alcoholic, and he was currently off his...

Aerin · Aerin

hello.. here I am back with some more venting! I am not expecting "advice" but maybe some points of view from people how have been there. so the boyfriend of 5 five years, finally started AA and in the last three months has gone to AAA and sincerely wants to change his life, which is an amazing thing and I...

pom · pom

Hi everyone, I am new to the forums and am so glad I found them. I've been struggling hard with reacting rather than acting. I grew up with my qualifier who made the mere idea of action/choice on my part very dangerous or treated it with contempt. I instead very carefully maneuvered around them, and live...

piper60 · piper60

Hi I'm new here. I am working on the 12 step book questions but I am having problems finding a sponsor. I had one person that insisted on doing it with me but I have asked her to meet 3 times and she has not responded so I am moving on from there. In the group I am in I say very little and I have been going for about 2...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Today is 1 year since I found out my son had a drug problem. This past year has been hell. I have cried more tears then I ever thought possible and believe it or not, there are still more to cry. Currently he still believes he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a home base (jumping...

Helpangel · Helpangel

my ah is 90 days sober. We have been doing this cycle thru 5 years of marriage and 1 Year of dating. He has a good job but hates it and complains about it alot. We actually work for the same company but he is more senior than I. Any who last night we had couples therapy and I think I am still in shock over what he sa...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Dropping off good wishes for a peaceful day for us all. I am full of love for my program and gratitude for people walking alongside me. Prayers to John and immense gratitude to him. I am currently living a calm, satisfying life. Something I didn't think possible. My AH and I are living together in peace....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses watching a colony of bees. The writer is at first a bit intimidated and scared of the buzzing and frenzied motion, but is reminded that a sting is less likely if distance is kept between self and the action. Noted - "If I chose to maintain a safe distance from a dangerous situ...

El · El

Good news- my lung biopsy didn't show any cancer - just infection. Home recouperating and thanking HP for being with me every step. Feeling extreme gratitude toward my loved ones; both friends and family, the surgeon, nurses and all hospital staff. El

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Life on Life's terms (Preview) Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...	Fooled	7	697	Jan 24, 2017 by tiredtonite
	New member needs guidance (Preview) Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...	Suki	12	535	Jan 24, 2017 by Jerry F
	Seeking Sponsor (Preview) Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...	WaitingForTheSun	12	3159	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Irritable - want relationship, sex - don't feel ready - not sure how to get ready (Preview) I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...	MomInMo	14	818	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...	DrowningSorrow	6	548	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Encouragement vs. Detachment (Preview) I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...	wifeofalcoholic	7	1042	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	My girl friend recently started program (almost 30 days) and is hiding our relationship from her sponsor (Preview) She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...	James Brown	10	617	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Taking care of me (Preview) Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...	_bunny_	14	825	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	1/23/17 Hope for Today (Preview) In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...	Enigmatic	9	453	Jan 24, 2017 by serenity47
	Working the second step. (Preview) I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...	shrnp	3	561	Jan 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Good insights on detachment from f2f meeting today (Preview) So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...	luv123	4	549	Jan 23, 2017 by shrnp
	Rehab Question (Preview) Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...	vvv	5	524	Jan 23, 2017 by LinSC
	I need some advice - new to the forum (Preview) Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...	KTLou	3	487	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 1-22-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...	hotrod	2	438	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	I just want peace of mind. (Preview) I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...	shrnp	5	2868	Jan 22, 2017 by 2HP
	Courage to Change Reading 1-22-16 (Preview) C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...	hotrod	6	1404	Jan 22, 2017 by luv123
	What should I tell my kids when they ask why daddy drinks so much beer? (Preview) I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...	JustForMeNow	7	746	Jan 22, 2017 by hiraeth
	Courage to change 21/1 (Preview) Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...	MissM	4	485	Jan 21, 2017 by vvv
	Can u tell me what Hope for Today page was about (Jan 21) (Preview) Left home without books and would love to hear a little about today's page - could only find some stuff about ODAT & Courage pages...Thanks in advance! Trying to stay up on my meditation pages...	luv123	1	372	Jan 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today June 21 (Preview) Good morning MIP-- Today's reading is a focus on step 10--'continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it'. The writer interprets this step as a reminder that we are human and will continue to make mistakes, no matter how long in recovery. For me the difference is pr...	yanksfan51	5	655	Jan 21, 2017 by luv123
	Alanon please take me away (Preview) Sort of like calgon. Anyway. My name is Maureen. I started going to Alanon meetings religiously starting around 2005. It gave the strength and the courage to leave a bad relationship with my twins father. Around me was hell, financially, etc, but Alanon and it's members were heaven sent! I worke...	REEN2U	6	1738	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/20/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about anonymity and how it helps us find our truth and learn to share without judgement. It's considered a spiritual foundation of all our traditions, and allows us to leave behind any/all labels we've had in our pre-program lives. This necessary element of our recovery all...	Iamhere	3	462	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	getting real with myself. (Preview) God I've been doing this dance for five bloody years now. Today im sitting in my awareness of who I am internally. It's uncomfortable but exactly right. Its taken all this time to get underneath my anger. Underneath all that anger is acceptance and the will to live and move forward. Putting myself...	a4l	9	528	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/19/17 (Preview) Today's reading helps us understand the gifts and path of self-acceptance and self-love. We are asked to consider, just for this one day, that we are spiritual beings on a spiritual journey and there is absolutely no value is beating ourselves up for our limitations, past or other! When we become im...	Iamhere	4	2714	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Expectations and Boundaries (Preview) My qualifier has been sober for several weeks now and has been very eager to point out that I am still struggling and unhappy even though he has stopped drinking. He has been in and out of the program for decades and occasionally likes to point out where my program needs work (thanks dear ....). We had bee...	Voodoo	5	763	Jan 19, 2017 by a4l
	Leaving recovering ah advice (Preview) I have decided after this last battle to end my 6 year marriage. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to fight or discuss or just anything. I just don't want the battle. What have other people done? My first divorce was so bad that I think apart of my fear has to do with how bad will this one be. We have no...	Helpangel	2	577	Jan 19, 2017 by Mcat54
	Trying to force solutions forcing solutions (Preview) I've come to understand that trying to force solutions is a big problem for me. My impatience and agitation and lack of trust in how things could unfold over time (and trust in a higher power). I am trying to keep this upmost in my mind, meditate on it, etc. I am trying to be more aware and catch myself every...	pom	10	2721	Jan 18, 2017 by el-cee
	1/18/17 Courage to Change (Preview) For one new member, AlAnon's suggestion to focus on self as the best way to help the alcoholic seemed heartless. They decided AlAnon was not a place for them...until hearing someone's realization that the best intentions to help the alcoholic often fail, but AlAnon helps us learn a better way to help...	Enigmatic	6	558	Jan 18, 2017 by Kim C
	January 18 hope for today (Preview) 1/18 Hope for today reading: This was the only thought I remembered from my first Al-Anon meeting: We can learn to live at peace with ourselves and others. "Live at peace with ourselves and others?" I wondered. "How do people do this?" From my alcoholic upbringing to my own family and workplace, I had n...	luv123	1	1986	Jan 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Powerlessness is a healing thing... (Preview) So what can I do about someone dying and what is that some one is my brother? How much if anything did I do to cause it and was I able to control and cure it? It's a God thing and perfectly acceptable and expected if alcoholism played a part in it. We were not close for many reasons the largest of which wa...	Jerry F	19	800	Jan 17, 2017 by wp
	1/16/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Looking at a time when to have a thought meant saying a thought, today's page suggests a 'Think' before we speak approach. This is a healthy replacement to replying in anger, betraying confidence with gossip, oversharing, or offering unsolicited advice.Taking a few moments to Think allows us time...	Enigmatic	6	628	Jan 17, 2017 by MomInMo
	Hope for Today Jan 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today'a reading is on the topic of letting go. What does it mean to let go? How does it benefit us to let go? As I was reading i thought about how for me, anytime it seems difficult to let go I can usually find that my will is getting in the way. If I let go then I am not in control and if I am...	yanksfan51	3	2232	Jan 17, 2017 by luv123
	Step 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63126973/alanon-step-11-jan-1-17-2017/	hotrod	0	686	Jan 17, 2017 by hotrod
	Outreach (Preview) Hello, I'm a newcomer here and I realize that I really need recovery to help heal me. I have heard "outreach" mentioned on phone meetings and was hoping I could do it on here as well, by putting myself out there in a moment of need. My past pains and fears of abandonment and loss have been triggered in my cu...	WaitingForTheSun	3	455	Jan 16, 2017 by hotrod
	support for her and for me.. (Preview) Hi all. My gf is recently sober (October '16). Long story short, her binge drinking had gotten to the point where I was out the door. She called me from her first AA meeting, so I decided to give her one last shot. I have not had a single drink in front of her, even in social gatherings with other people, in o...	nanda	5	651	Jan 16, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Need advice (Preview) Just looking for a little guidance from you all who know the program and the disease so much better than me. My AH had a slip up on NYE, he had promised me he wouldn't drink and he did, and he didn't get drunk and stopped after I said something to him, which I did in a nice non accusatory fashion on my part. I was...	mb2016	2	479	Jan 16, 2017 by hotrod
	New phase (Preview) Hi all Ive come back after a little break to address some issues with my health and past issues. I wanted to make sure my "ammunition" was empty after growing up with an alcoholic and being married to an alcoholic and drug user fr 15 years because that is my RAH defense is that I blame him for my fathers...	Fooled	6	643	Jan 16, 2017 by Fooled
	All Anon for kids (Preview) Does anyone know of a group for children ages 7 - 9? I'm asking for my grand children. My adult son is a single dad & an alcoholic. I have my grandchildren with me because home life is not very good at the moment. They need help ( and so do I). Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you	GrandmaJ	3	3496	Jan 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Letting Go (Preview) Letting Go To "let go" does not mean to stop caring;it means I can't do it for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off; its the realization I can't control another. To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means t...	LinSC	2	626	Jan 16, 2017 by el-cee
	Detachment (Preview) I cannot grasp this...at all. it seems all I do is avoid interaction and conversation.its like I am ignoring him and turning a blind eye to this terrible behaviour. All the while feeling angry and resentful.	Jennyp	6	871	Jan 15, 2017 by El
	Courage To Change 14/1 (Preview) Today's c2c reading is about coming to the realisation that we cannot stop someone else from drinking, and the freedom we attain when we finally drop the rope. Often we know this intellectually but it takes some time to actually feel it and meetings, literature and conversations with other members a...	MissM	2	505	Jan 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/13/17 (Preview) ~~It's Friday the 13th - if you are superstitious, you might want to lay low, just for today!~~ Today's reading talks about the freedom we are given to seek out our own understanding of a higher power. We find that until we can think of a God in terms that mean something to us we may struggle to turn our lif...	Iamhere	2	1618	Jan 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	What is Detachment (Preview) Detachment is the:-Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. -Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. -Giving another person "t...	LinSC	6	2676	Jan 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 1-15-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for January 15 speaks about praying for the sobriety of the alcoholic in our lives, and then when sobriety is achieved,we begin to have fearful moments that it is not going to last. We walk around on eggshells and discover that we cannot delude ourselves into thinking that sobriety is...	hotrod	2	2272	Jan 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just need some clarity (Preview) Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a while, but I just experienced a situation that baffled me! My ex abf (but still seeing each other) just told me that by leaving him last night and not staying with him because he was drunk was "running away from my problems." I'm trying to remind myself that what I did was...	vvv	8	636	Jan 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Moving forward (Preview) AS wife died of alcholism a year ago. For all the world to see he maintained ok until a couple months ago. The first I knew he had fallen very deeply into alcohol, drugs and all that goes with it again was the morning his pickup was repossessed a couple months ago. He called very upset, crying and deeply dep...	Dlrankin	3	448	Jan 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	I said wat I meant, but I said it mean (Preview) AH and I had a weird fight. I was happily getting ready for my son's birthday party and invited him to sit with me while I sharpened pencils. He grimaced and said, "ok" but I could tell he didn't want to. He said a lot of things - he wasn't interested in the show I suggested, he'd rather play video games, etc....	Taraxacum	3	637	Jan 14, 2017 by hiraeth
	The hateful stuff is getting to me today. Ugh! (Preview) Normally I can just ignore it, but I have an aunt that I love very much that is entrenched in this political carp right now. It is so hard not to send her a message to ask her to stop sending me this hateful garbage she finds on facebook and elsewhere. I know if I say anything she will probably stop talking to m...	Jen	11	634	Jan 14, 2017 by 2HP
	Please help me to support my sober fiancee Relapse please help advice partner (Preview) Thank you for reading this. my fiancée is six years sober from alcohol and last night we had a problem when I took her to a coworkers DJ performance at a bar We talked about the event many times, she even said she didn't mind if I had a drink ( I'm not an alcoholic or even a big drinker) but when we arrived the s...	Dfinneman	8	6810	Jan 14, 2017 by MomInMo
	Hi (Preview) Hi all, i have just joined but been looking over the forum for some time trying to make sense of things. I have an AW who has been drinking for at least 20 years. She has tried to stop many times before but with no success, even a short spell in AA. She is currently in recovery with AA and has been for the past se...	PacMan	4	696	Jan 14, 2017 by Jerry F
	Daughter-in-Law at crisis (Preview) Our Son is at his wits end after 4 years of his wife's alcoholism, and 2 full rehabs, support groups, drug treatment etc etc She has lost jobs, fallen down stairs, broken her ankle, police called because she had fallen inside porch and on and on. Then she was doing really well before xmas, had gone totall...	Celiavioletta	0	447	Jan 14, 2017 by Celiavioletta
	Opinions on starting relationship when newly sober (New member- first post) (Preview) Hi guys.... I feel like my story is a bit complicated, and I don't want to completely lose you in the details. Let's just say I met a guy the past July online and we sort of fell into something neither of us expected or was looking for. He told me early on that he was an alcoholic, and he was currently off his...	Olivia	7	584	Jan 14, 2017 by MissM
	Cheating Question? b (Preview) hello.. here I am back with some more venting! I am not expecting "advice" but maybe some points of view from people how have been there. so the boyfriend of 5 five years, finally started AA and in the last three months has gone to AAA and sincerely wants to change his life, which is an amazing thing and I...	Aerin	10	714	Jan 14, 2017 by CaptainC
	Reacting (Also, I'm new to the forum) acting reacting (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to the forums and am so glad I found them. I've been struggling hard with reacting rather than acting. I grew up with my qualifier who made the mere idea of action/choice on my part very dangerous or treated it with contempt. I instead very carefully maneuvered around them, and live...	pom	2	520	Jan 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Problems finding a sponsor ou (Preview) Hi I'm new here. I am working on the 12 step book questions but I am having problems finding a sponsor. I had one person that insisted on doing it with me but I have asked her to meet 3 times and she has not responded so I am moving on from there. In the group I am in I say very little and I have been going for about 2...	piper60	2	379	Jan 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Stupid Anniversay (Preview) Today is 1 year since I found out my son had a drug problem. This past year has been hell. I have cried more tears then I ever thought possible and believe it or not, there are still more to cry. Currently he still believes he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a home base (jumping...	Tannersmom	4	484	Jan 13, 2017 by hotrod
	Therapist and dry drunk no bounds (Preview) my ah is 90 days sober. We have been doing this cycle thru 5 years of marriage and 1 Year of dating. He has a good job but hates it and complains about it alot. We actually work for the same company but he is more senior than I. Any who last night we had couples therapy and I think I am still in shock over what he sa...	Helpangel	11	713	Jan 13, 2017 by muggs2
	Peaceful Friday (Preview) Dropping off good wishes for a peaceful day for us all. I am full of love for my program and gratitude for people walking alongside me. Prayers to John and immense gratitude to him. I am currently living a calm, satisfying life. Something I didn't think possible. My AH and I are living together in peace....	Calm Lady	2	407	Jan 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/12/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses watching a colony of bees. The writer is at first a bit intimidated and scared of the buzzing and frenzied motion, but is reminded that a sting is less likely if distance is kept between self and the action. Noted - "If I chose to maintain a safe distance from a dangerous situ...	Iamhere	6	643	Jan 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Test results (Preview) Good news- my lung biopsy didn't show any cancer - just infection. Home recouperating and thanking HP for being with me every step. Feeling extreme gratitude toward my loved ones; both friends and family, the surgeon, nurses and all hospital staff. El	El	7	482	Jan 12, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.