Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jerry F · Jerry F

and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...

IAmStrong · IAmStrong

Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...

MomInMo · MomInMo

Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...

MissM · MissM

As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...

luv123 · luv123

I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...

MomInMo · MomInMo

So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...

shrnp · shrnp

Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...

kkc · kkc

I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...

messmate · messmate

Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.

Dell22 · Dell22

I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...

Worldofhope · Worldofhope

Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...

LinSC · LinSC

My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...

Fooled · Fooled

Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...

New member needs guidance · Suki

Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...

WaitingForTheSun · WaitingForTheSun

Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...

MomInMo · MomInMo

I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...

DrowningSorrow · DrowningSorrow

Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...

James Brown · James Brown

She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...

shrnp · shrnp

I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...

luv123 · luv123

So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...

vvv · vvv

Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...

KTLou · KTLou

Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...

shrnp · shrnp

I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...

JustForMeNow · JustForMeNow

I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...

luv123 · luv123

Left home without books and would love to hear a little about today's page - could only find some stuff about ODAT & Courage pages...Thanks in advance! Trying to stay up on my meditation pages...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP-- Today's reading is a focus on step 10--'continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it'. The writer interprets this step as a reminder that we are human and will continue to make mistakes, no matter how long in recovery. For me the difference is pr...

REEN2U · REEN2U

Sort of like calgon. Anyway. My name is Maureen. I started going to Alanon meetings religiously starting around 2005. It gave the strength and the courage to leave a bad relationship with my twins father. Around me was hell, financially, etc, but Alanon and it's members were heaven sent! I worke...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about anonymity and how it helps us find our truth and learn to share without judgement. It's considered a spiritual foundation of all our traditions, and allows us to leave behind any/all labels we've had in our pre-program lives. This necessary element of our recovery all...

a4l · a4l

God I've been doing this dance for five bloody years now. Today im sitting in my awareness of who I am internally. It's uncomfortable but exactly right. Its taken all this time to get underneath my anger. Underneath all that anger is acceptance and the will to live and move forward. Putting myself...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading helps us understand the gifts and path of self-acceptance and self-love. We are asked to consider, just for this one day, that we are spiritual beings on a spiritual journey and there is absolutely no value is beating ourselves up for our limitations, past or other! When we become im...

Voodoo · Voodoo

My qualifier has been sober for several weeks now and has been very eager to point out that I am still struggling and unhappy even though he has stopped drinking. He has been in and out of the program for decades and occasionally likes to point out where my program needs work (thanks dear ....). We had bee...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I have decided after this last battle to end my 6 year marriage. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to fight or discuss or just anything. I just don't want the battle. What have other people done? My first divorce was so bad that I think apart of my fear has to do with how bad will this one be. We have no...

pom · pom

I've come to understand that trying to force solutions is a big problem for me. My impatience and agitation and lack of trust in how things could unfold over time (and trust in a higher power). I am trying to keep this upmost in my mind, meditate on it, etc. I am trying to be more aware and catch myself every...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

For one new member, AlAnon's suggestion to focus on self as the best way to help the alcoholic seemed heartless. They decided AlAnon was not a place for them...until hearing someone's realization that the best intentions to help the alcoholic often fail, but AlAnon helps us learn a better way to help...

luv123 · luv123

1/18 Hope for today reading: This was the only thought I remembered from my first Al-Anon meeting: We can learn to live at peace with ourselves and others. "Live at peace with ourselves and others?" I wondered. "How do people do this?" From my alcoholic upbringing to my own family and workplace, I had n...

Jerry F · Jerry F

So what can I do about someone dying and what is that some one is my brother? How much if anything did I do to cause it and was I able to control and cure it? It's a God thing and perfectly acceptable and expected if alcoholism played a part in it. We were not close for many reasons the largest of which wa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Looking at a time when to have a thought meant saying a thought, today's page suggests a 'Think' before we speak approach. This is a healthy replacement to replying in anger, betraying confidence with gossip, oversharing, or offering unsolicited advice.Taking a few moments to Think allows us time...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today'a reading is on the topic of letting go. What does it mean to let go? How does it benefit us to let go? As I was reading i thought about how for me, anytime it seems difficult to let go I can usually find that my will is getting in the way. If I let go then I am not in control and if I am...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63126973/alanon-step-11-jan-1-17-2017/

WaitingForTheSun · WaitingForTheSun

Hello, I'm a newcomer here and I realize that I really need recovery to help heal me. I have heard "outreach" mentioned on phone meetings and was hoping I could do it on here as well, by putting myself out there in a moment of need. My past pains and fears of abandonment and loss have been triggered in my cu...

nanda · nanda

Hi all. My gf is recently sober (October '16). Long story short, her binge drinking had gotten to the point where I was out the door. She called me from her first AA meeting, so I decided to give her one last shot. I have not had a single drink in front of her, even in social gatherings with other people, in o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I had a relapse (Preview) and am now in the hang over stage. Do enablers and do-dependents relapse? Sure do and it sucks bad time. I went to my morning AA meeting and the subject was on and around Steps 4 thru 10 and I even shared my ESH on the subject or maybe just gave it away. After the meeting I came home with a stop at the gas s...	Jerry F	5	636	Jan 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	Johns Status.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am quite concerned re Johns status as he was unable to be present at the meeting he called for the future of this board. Is any One person able to make a connection with him, or his home? I Do believe this should be done. Also for to find out the access to keep this board up and running, and...	IAmStrong	44	2744	Jan 29, 2017 by wp
	Reading Material (Preview) Hey Everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I am new to the program. I love reading the message boards and want to read as much as I can to familiarize myself with the program. I ordered the book Courage to Change and I received it today. From what I have read thus far, I think it will be a great help. It just was...	NCJo	5	3605	Jan 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Resentment... (Preview) I divorced an alcoholic two years ago. We have a small child together and since my ex was not happy about my decision to divorce, a custody battle ensued and it was a highly contentious divorce. I had hoped and prayed that over time, the relationship between my ex and I would get better but we have inste...	Vivian10	3	683	Jan 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mad at myself (Preview) I am so mad at mysel! I don't know how to set boundaries and enforce them. I told my AH that in order for him to live at our house he cannot drink. He became violent almost 3 months ago and went to jail and the court ordered him not to drink. That order was lifted a couple weeks ago and now he is back drinking afte...	Dlove	8	628	Jan 29, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage To Change 28/1 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how important it is to 'keep coming back"- even when we might no longer live with an alcoholic or be directly affected by another's alcoholism in our day to day lives. It points out that many people have been in the program for years and years and stay for the serenity they find and t...	MissM	2	505	Jan 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Love yourself - how do you know when you're doing it enough? (Preview) Okay, so one of the things I've really taken to hear is that you have to love yourself. That if you find the happiness inside your self, you stop looking for someone else to fill that need. That you stop loving others for the fantasy of them and for the real them. I have felt a major shift inside of me. I know I...	MomInMo	13	711	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	SMH (Preview) As I mentioned a few days ago, daughter has a friend staying with us. (It's the last week of summer holidays). Last night we were to go to the waterfront for the Aus day celebrations and fireworks (bands, people, general revelry) and I was quite looking forward to it. I had in mind that I might make the eff...	MissM	3	629	Jan 27, 2017 by el-cee
	ODAT reading 1/27 (Preview) I hear a lot of compassion & not wollowing in self pity in this reading. Staying in today and not predicting this to be a forever thing I cannot deal with. In it I hear about caring without being a crutch. That takes practice and listening to how others have walked this path. "I love you but..." were 4 w...	luv123	1	477	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/27/17 (Preview) Today's daily reading talks about the mental and emotional impact the disease has on us - the family and friends of the alcoholic. We tend to over react or react in moments that are not always the cause of our frustration, sadness, etc. The example given talks about a partner who is frustrated enough...	Iamhere	3	938	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Frustration (Preview) I am frustrated with (not my AS) but my EX Hub. I know I can't change his behavior or his choices but it is killing me because I know his so called badgering to my AS is pushing my son further away. My ex continues to text my son with guilt ridden messages. He is just as manipulating as my AS. He just doesn'...	Tannersmom	3	743	Jan 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Bi-Sexuality and Alcoholism (Preview) Hello Everyone, I've been off the grid for awhile. Trying to sort out the "drama" in my life. My Ex-ABF has told me (to my face) that he doesn't want to quit drinking and he likes the buzz. He sees nothing wrong with having a "sip" every once in awhile. Well that sip turns into a binge. He can't control...	starcatcher2	12	692	Jan 27, 2017 by starcatcher2
	When they wake up after drinking... (Preview) Since I just found this board I'm not sure if this is something I will learn in meetings, etc. but still wanted to ask from personal experience. I don't know how to act after my husband wakes up from one of his drinking spouts. Sometimes he's slept it off but other times is still feeling the effects. I feel...	LoLo23	1	573	Jan 26, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/26/17 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change talks about the 12th Step - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principals in all our affairs...What a promise - if we work these steps, we can have a spiritual awakening - hope...	Iamhere	3	492	Jan 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 3 Anxiety (Preview) So, I tried doing step three. I mean, I answered the questions from the beige book on the topic. Well, my answers didn't confirm my resolve, they just exposed my confusion. :) So, I've been trying to figure it all out. I had a friend help me kind of get a better hold on what I'd be willing to pray to. So, las...	MomInMo	7	1586	Jan 26, 2017 by maryjane
	New, not sure where to start (Preview) Hello everyone, At the present time I have a friend or ex-bf, in the hospital who is very sick. I thought he was just going for detox as usual but he has hepatitis B, and has been in the ICU for 5-6 days. We have been broken up for about three years. We stay in touch sometimes, we have the same friends, and I h...	shrnp	15	878	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	1/25/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) AlAnon encourages us to keep the focus on the positive rather than the negative. Today's page points to the value of doing this when rooting out unwanted behavior. Rather than avoidance through willpower, we focus energy and effort on the positive replacement behavior. Today's Reminder: Whateve...	Enigmatic	4	517	Jan 25, 2017 by MissM
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity includ...	yanksfan51	6	561	Jan 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	I need detox (Preview) I am new to this group and only went to a few face to face meetings about a year ago. I have a very dear friend who is really struggling with alcoholism. I have known him for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 or less did I even know he had a problem...and then I just thought he just would drink when he was sa...	kkc	3	566	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Coy About Attending Local AlAnon Meeting (Preview) Hi folks, I have a question - or maybe a problem. I guess I know the answer in principle, but maybe I need to hear it from some wiser heads. My encounter with alcoholism was relatively brief and low amplitude (by which I mean that there was no physical violence or infidelity etc, mainly lying and manipul...	messmate	7	676	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Love Stories (Preview) I would like to hear some positive post recovery love stories.	tealfighter	10	1389	Jan 25, 2017 by Maresie25
	Long Distance Alcoholic (Preview) I was dating a man who is an alcoholic. He had blackouts and left for two weeks to go to an old girlfriends. After he returned home he has been calling me constantly and is saying he is attending AA. But I know he has bee drinking and is denying it. Yesterday was the last straw. I told him he was a drunke...	Dell22	7	549	Jan 25, 2017 by Dell22
	So he texted me (Preview) So my AS texted me last night. I really haven't heard much from him. It was a very cordial exchange. He told me he had a job interview today. Supposedly he and his girlfriend have been out and about looking for jobs. Good for them. I was able to tell him good luck and that I am confident that he will be able to f...	Tannersmom	4	2797	Jan 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	Confused (Preview) Hello! So I know the holidays are rough on most people so I wanted to say Happy Holidays from me. :) Anyway, so I'm rather new here. Long story short someone close in my family (father) has been an alcoholic my whole life. I've never seen him sober even though I've lived with him for my whole life. Being in m...	Worldofhope	8	592	Jan 24, 2017 by Worldofhope
	Indecision (Preview) My husband was ACOA, if you didnt know him you would have thought he was a drinker. But he never touched a drop or drugs or anything like that. But he had the same exact symptoms of a full blown alcoholic. I was married for many years but after realizing me and my children were always walking on eggs, I divor...	LinSC	9	813	Jan 24, 2017 by pinkchip
	Life on Life's terms (Preview) Im sitting here the morning after my best friend, maid of honor in my wedding, passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was only 52. Life was never kind to her. She struggled her whole life. She married young to an alcoholic and had four kids. She stayed and did the best she could for 13...	Fooled	7	790	Jan 24, 2017 by tiredtonite
	New member needs guidance (Preview) Hi. I have a 24 year old daughter in detox and hoping to get her into rehab right after. She is extremely manipulative and I am her biggest enabler. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder and says she drinks because of the anxiety even though she is on her klonopin. I need real help in setting an...	Suki	12	626	Jan 24, 2017 by Jerry F
	Seeking Sponsor (Preview) Hello, I'm a newcomer looking for an experienced female sponsor. I'm in a relationship with a sober alcoholic, am an adult child of an alcoholic & am what my partner calls "a stone cold codependent." Any guidance, direction or advice would be very much appreciated. I really need to get the ball r...	WaitingForTheSun	12	3602	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Irritable - want relationship, sex - don't feel ready - not sure how to get ready (Preview) I can't stand celebacy. I just can't stand it. Not a sex addict, just a damn need. Well, I'm too old for one night stands. I want a relationship. After being in a nearly celebrate marriage to a man with different addiction issues for over a decade I got divorced. Started dating. Turns out he's a recove...	MomInMo	14	903	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here and I am hoping this will help me gain some peace of mind. I have stopped by a local Al-anon meeting and I just can't seem to get comfortable there. I will keep trying but I thought this might be helpful in the time being as well. I am married to an Alcoholic, it's been 3 years of pure hell...	DrowningSorrow	6	633	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Encouragement vs. Detachment (Preview) I have read that it is important to provide encouragement to a person suffering from alcoholism. My confusion comes from my understanding of detachment. While I am trying to detach I do not feel that I am encouraging but rather ignoring and being distant while I am taking care of myself. I have done...	wifeofalcoholic	7	1156	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	My girl friend recently started program (almost 30 days) and is hiding our relationship from her sponsor (Preview) She gave AA a shot a few times and has been unsuccessful. Most recently relapsed just shy of 30 day and about to hit thirty days soon. this weekend she was to do bunch of step work and didnt because she was with me. I had no idea. we argued sunday night and the truth came out. she never told her sponsor she wa...	James Brown	10	716	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	Taking care of me (Preview) Before starting the program it never occurred to me that I had been neglecting myself. Through working the steps and reading the literature I realized I have choices, and what an amazing realization that is. I have made the choice to live every moment for me, myself and I and I choose to make decisions t...	_bunny_	14	967	Jan 24, 2017 by Maresie25
	1/23/17 Hope for Today (Preview) In today's Hope for Today, one member describes how gratitude took on new meaning in the program. No longer the end result, felt only when things went 'their way' or as they expected, gratitude became the means to a much better end: serenity.Working persistently on our program allows us to find grati...	Enigmatic	9	539	Jan 24, 2017 by serenity47
	Working the second step. (Preview) I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churche...	shrnp	3	653	Jan 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Good insights on detachment from f2f meeting today (Preview) So grateful to attend a wonderful meeting this morning. There were some good examples of detaching with love and non-judgement. About how to simply not go to every fight or crisis we are invited to. I always thought I at least owed an RSVP--lol! But in Al-anon I learn I have choices and I don't owe explan...	luv123	4	648	Jan 23, 2017 by shrnp
	Rehab Question (Preview) Hi all, So my AexBF seems to be willing to go to rehab, however I know he will not go unless he knows that he wont have to worry about bills while he's gone and when he gets back. His parents will pay for the rehab, but it's the bills at the house that I cannot afford nor do I think it's my responsibility as I don...	vvv	5	616	Jan 23, 2017 by LinSC
	I need some advice - new to the forum (Preview) Hi All, Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice. My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary. I ju...	KTLou	3	574	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 1-22-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for January 22 speaks about praying, and that what we pray for may not be what we truly need. The reading points out we are only able to see a little way and our vision is clouded by our present situation, in the happenings and distractions of our lives. If the problems we have to face are b...	hotrod	2	516	Jan 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	I just want peace of mind. (Preview) I have been dealing with my ex A's family because he is in the hospital too sick to take care of himself. I normally do not talk to them at all because they have some dysfunctional relationships amongst themselves. I am angry that I have to deal with this. I am trying to justify to myself that I can just wal...	shrnp	5	3186	Jan 22, 2017 by 2HP
	Courage to Change Reading 1-22-16 (Preview) C2C reading for 1-22 focuses on "Detachment ". Since this is such a powerful tool in Al-Anon there are many pages devoted to explaining the process. This one suggests that we look at "detachment" in the following way. For example if see someone asleep on the floor, instea...	hotrod	6	1861	Jan 22, 2017 by luv123
	What should I tell my kids when they ask why daddy drinks so much beer? (Preview) I have no addiction in my family history so have been somewhat slow to realize that my husband is an alcoholic. Of course looking back over our 12 years together I can see so many red flags about his addiction problem. He is aware of it too, even attended AA in his 20's (40's now). He refuses to get any kind...	JustForMeNow	7	859	Jan 22, 2017 by hiraeth
	Courage to change 21/1 (Preview) Today's C2C talks about learning to distinguish what is and isn't our business; when we can tell the difference and become able to allow other people to handle their own business instead of thinking we have to "look after" everyone, we can then start to take notice of and attend to out own needs properl...	MissM	4	563	Jan 21, 2017 by vvv
	Can u tell me what Hope for Today page was about (Jan 21) (Preview) Left home without books and would love to hear a little about today's page - could only find some stuff about ODAT & Courage pages...Thanks in advance! Trying to stay up on my meditation pages...	luv123	1	456	Jan 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today June 21 (Preview) Good morning MIP-- Today's reading is a focus on step 10--'continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it'. The writer interprets this step as a reminder that we are human and will continue to make mistakes, no matter how long in recovery. For me the difference is pr...	yanksfan51	5	758	Jan 21, 2017 by luv123
	Alanon please take me away (Preview) Sort of like calgon. Anyway. My name is Maureen. I started going to Alanon meetings religiously starting around 2005. It gave the strength and the courage to leave a bad relationship with my twins father. Around me was hell, financially, etc, but Alanon and it's members were heaven sent! I worke...	REEN2U	6	1971	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/20/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about anonymity and how it helps us find our truth and learn to share without judgement. It's considered a spiritual foundation of all our traditions, and allows us to leave behind any/all labels we've had in our pre-program lives. This necessary element of our recovery all...	Iamhere	3	549	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	getting real with myself. (Preview) God I've been doing this dance for five bloody years now. Today im sitting in my awareness of who I am internally. It's uncomfortable but exactly right. Its taken all this time to get underneath my anger. Underneath all that anger is acceptance and the will to live and move forward. Putting myself...	a4l	9	617	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 1/19/17 (Preview) Today's reading helps us understand the gifts and path of self-acceptance and self-love. We are asked to consider, just for this one day, that we are spiritual beings on a spiritual journey and there is absolutely no value is beating ourselves up for our limitations, past or other! When we become im...	Iamhere	4	3012	Jan 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Expectations and Boundaries (Preview) My qualifier has been sober for several weeks now and has been very eager to point out that I am still struggling and unhappy even though he has stopped drinking. He has been in and out of the program for decades and occasionally likes to point out where my program needs work (thanks dear ....). We had bee...	Voodoo	5	857	Jan 19, 2017 by a4l
	Leaving recovering ah advice (Preview) I have decided after this last battle to end my 6 year marriage. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to fight or discuss or just anything. I just don't want the battle. What have other people done? My first divorce was so bad that I think apart of my fear has to do with how bad will this one be. We have no...	Helpangel	2	671	Jan 19, 2017 by Mcat54
	Trying to force solutions forcing solutions (Preview) I've come to understand that trying to force solutions is a big problem for me. My impatience and agitation and lack of trust in how things could unfold over time (and trust in a higher power). I am trying to keep this upmost in my mind, meditate on it, etc. I am trying to be more aware and catch myself every...	pom	10	3021	Jan 18, 2017 by el-cee
	1/18/17 Courage to Change (Preview) For one new member, AlAnon's suggestion to focus on self as the best way to help the alcoholic seemed heartless. They decided AlAnon was not a place for them...until hearing someone's realization that the best intentions to help the alcoholic often fail, but AlAnon helps us learn a better way to help...	Enigmatic	6	640	Jan 18, 2017 by Kim C
	January 18 hope for today (Preview) 1/18 Hope for today reading: This was the only thought I remembered from my first Al-Anon meeting: We can learn to live at peace with ourselves and others. "Live at peace with ourselves and others?" I wondered. "How do people do this?" From my alcoholic upbringing to my own family and workplace, I had n...	luv123	1	2232	Jan 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Powerlessness is a healing thing... (Preview) So what can I do about someone dying and what is that some one is my brother? How much if anything did I do to cause it and was I able to control and cure it? It's a God thing and perfectly acceptable and expected if alcoholism played a part in it. We were not close for many reasons the largest of which wa...	Jerry F	19	895	Jan 17, 2017 by wp
	1/16/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Looking at a time when to have a thought meant saying a thought, today's page suggests a 'Think' before we speak approach. This is a healthy replacement to replying in anger, betraying confidence with gossip, oversharing, or offering unsolicited advice.Taking a few moments to Think allows us time...	Enigmatic	6	710	Jan 17, 2017 by MomInMo
	Hope for Today Jan 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today'a reading is on the topic of letting go. What does it mean to let go? How does it benefit us to let go? As I was reading i thought about how for me, anytime it seems difficult to let go I can usually find that my will is getting in the way. If I let go then I am not in control and if I am...	yanksfan51	3	2509	Jan 17, 2017 by luv123
	Step 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63126973/alanon-step-11-jan-1-17-2017/	hotrod	0	908	Jan 17, 2017 by hotrod
	Outreach (Preview) Hello, I'm a newcomer here and I realize that I really need recovery to help heal me. I have heard "outreach" mentioned on phone meetings and was hoping I could do it on here as well, by putting myself out there in a moment of need. My past pains and fears of abandonment and loss have been triggered in my cu...	WaitingForTheSun	3	547	Jan 16, 2017 by hotrod
	support for her and for me.. (Preview) Hi all. My gf is recently sober (October '16). Long story short, her binge drinking had gotten to the point where I was out the door. She called me from her first AA meeting, so I decided to give her one last shot. I have not had a single drink in front of her, even in social gatherings with other people, in o...	nanda	5	751	Jan 16, 2017 by Jazzie18
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.