The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The last five years have blown past. I say blown because it seems globally like a huge wind swept through the world externally and from experience and conversations, internal shifts have been common too.
Looking at life a lot differently. I have a new normal. People have passed away, children have grown older, I have a totally different life now on the inside and outside.
It's been a lot of grind actually. 7 years of grind and now I've arrived at where I wanted to be, I'm not sure if I want to grind anymore as the profession demands.
Today I went for a walk on the beach in the early morning ssunshine.Slow walk. That's new for me. I've spent 30 years walking like the hounds of hell are on my heels even for non urgent matters. It's how I've always walked. But the last 6 years have pretty much gradually reduced the amount of exercise I get. At first it was because I had a couple of children still at home and it was pointless to walk with them. One was a baby the other disabled and homeschooled. I liked walking briskly to clear my mind, not ambling slowly. Those walks felt like torture because still on mom duty.
Then, as those kids became more supported in school, it was because my study load was so intense there wasn't time. Housework and running errands were enough. Then I graduated finally mid last year and went to work full time while juggling kids. 8 hours minimum in the office, take lunch break to do the school pick up, back to work for two hours, come home immediately cook dinner before sitting down or showering and just try to get as much in as possible. I came to truly truly love the weekend more than I ever have in my entire life. But no exercise or intentional downtime.
I've been off official work for four months to do more study for postgraduate certification and have pretty much crashed out. I'm having to dig deep to get this last tiny part completed. Today I went for a slow walk on the beach intentionally. This is now my preferred pace of walking. No more rushing. I have one more month of study before I'm expected to sign a new contract for two years. I'm not sure I have it in me. I want to amble slowly in the sunshine, thinking slow thoughts and sipping coffee. On the flip side, I also want to buy more furniture and eat out at the lovely restaurants with my lovely children for a few years so there's that.
But just for today, I took a walk in the morning sun, slowly and intentionally. My day has been lovely.
-- Edited by a4l on Thursday 1st of May 2025 08:55:50 PM
My self care for today is to try and not have stress, and help my little dog recover from a serious gastrointestinal problem that landed her in the hospital M-T. I crave more simpler things in life--family, friends, walking out in nature. Today I'm having lunch with a lifelong friend. We me when I was 8 and she was 10. We laugh and cry about all the time and things that have gone by. More laughing than crying though.....
