Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lyne · Lyne

Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...

Crushed16 · Crushed16

Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...

WestMan · WestMan

I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...

Coasting · Coasting

After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...

WestMan · WestMan

I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...

5TNTsZ · 5TNTsZ

I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading focuses on step two 'came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.' The writer speaks to the idea that for him/her, the word sanity was not comfortable because it was a direct reminder of the INsanity he/she felt from growing up in a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 11 speaks about the slogans and how they can be used in our everyday lives. It offers ideas on my favorite:"Let go and let God". and suggests that this particulars slogan many utilize but may not completely understand the concept behind the statement. The reading poin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading shares how great it would be if we could add "Sense of Humor" to our grocery list when we're running low. No matter how tough things are, humor can lighten the mood and ease some of the weight of serious challenges. Today's Reminder: Try to look for the brighter side, the funny side of thi...

T84 · T84

Good MorningAs I posted earlier, my AW is in jail again. Her sentencing date is in mid-july. I thought she was going to be in for a long sentence. I was relaxed, sleeping better, etc. She called me a couple of nights ago and said that her lawyer thinks she will be sentenced to time served and getting ou...

Junenine · Junenine

i read my posts and imagine how they sound to someone who doesn't know this man i've loved and held on to for so long. and i know it looks bad (it IS bad). i think... but he's a good person, a good soul, sensitive, loving, etc. the two are not mutually exclusive. but trying to reconcile the two is a bitch. HOWE...

Wednesday · Wednesday

Hi there newbie here, I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I have never seen him drunk. We have never had an argument. In January he was admitted to the hospital after a seizure. He was eventually diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. He nearly died. He is now 60 days sober an...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I think this is off topic b/c my son is not my qualifier. But I am needing some ESH, b/c a lot of Al-Anon tools help me with my actions with all the people in my life. My son just finished his junior year, but is 16, not quite 17 yet. My AH and I have been allowing him more freedoms. Our boundaries regarding part...

el-cee · el-cee

It seems my son has been calling himself a alcoholic. He has no understanding around that in terms of the nature of the disease. He lives with the feelings chaos trouble insanity discomfort obsession it brings but he doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he can do it with will power alone. He stops fo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the freedom we gain in working our program to speak our truth. Many of us come to Al-Anon broken, scared and hurting. We are reluctant to share what's in our hearts and minds for fear of judgement, ridicule or shunning. We come to realize we do have the freedom and choice...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading is about the eight step- "make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". The reading points out that this can be a very daunting or even distressing step to contemplate and suggests beginning with not 1 list but 3 lists..people we ARE willing...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Just wanted to say hello to all of my MIP family. We, my RAH ( well over two years of sobriety now) and I are visiting Alaska for a month. For those who believe it can never happen for you (hubby/wife getting sober, that is), I want to share a few things. In April, just over two years ago, I would have sworn o...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.My family home is in a rural area of C...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

OK, so I know we need to focus on ourselves and not on our Qualifiers, but this is so funny I just had to post! Thursday is my AH's payday, so it's been a rough 2 days. Tonight he was drunk, but not enough to pass out. Just enough to be angry and obnoxious. I basically tried to leave him alone. But at one point h...

Jaybee · Jaybee

Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...

El · El

Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...

a4l · a4l

My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.

WestMan · WestMan

So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...

Mattie · Mattie

I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...

augrads · augrads

Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...

Katiki67 · Katiki67

I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...

Lyne · Lyne

Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...

MissM · MissM

. -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...

LinSC · LinSC

I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...

1breathatatime · 1breathatatime

Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...

Jayla · Jayla

A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...

Lyne · Lyne

One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...

WestMan · WestMan

Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...

Amy9087 · Amy9087

I'm new here. I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety today. Maybe someone can chat with me. I'm a SAHM of a toddler. My husband is a recovering alcoholic - about 60 days sober and I still experience anxiety and worry and dread when he has to go out with work colleagues or clients. Today is one of those worrisom...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of prayer in our lives. The reading points out, that if we pray" my will be done" this is exactly what we say when we ask God to do what we want. If we receive what we pray for-.how do we know it will really made us happy? We do not always know what's...

Kerry4058 · Kerry4058

I'm new to this forum and looking for other Mom's in my situation. My 29 year old daughter is an Alcoholic, she lives at home with my husband and I and her younger sister also lives here. She just relapsed again this week two days after getting her 60 day chip. Our whole house turns into turmoil when she sta...

Snow3 · Snow3

Hi, my live in girlfriend is recently off suboxone, she was on for a year and a half. She was addicted to opiates and vodka for about 4 years. She went of suboxone slowly and has been off a month now. I don't know her anymore. One minute you can talk to her and she's fine, the next minute she's unreasonable, s...

pixie · pixie

I'm keeping an eye on my ah for esophageal/rectal varices. I have found blood and quite a bit at a time but it never dawned on me it could be varices. I had never heard of this problem until a friend of mine told me her husband died from esophageal varices. He bled out on the bathroom floor,she called an a...

lookingup · lookingup

Ive had lots n lots of aha moments while reading every bodies post, showing my growth in the program,which is great. now to just get my full trust back,seems I'm skeptical theses days.......thank you for reading n replieing to my posts as well hugs lu

Iamhere · Iamhere

The daily reading in Hope for Today discusses how we can be addicted to the chaos/drama the disease brings, just as the alcoholic is addicted to the alcohol. While we may realize that it's damaging and insane, we are still 'comfortable' in it because it's consistent and patterned. It's possible th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Working on detachment (Preview) Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...	Lyne	4	1163	Jun 18, 2017 by Bo
	From Survival to Recovery (Preview) Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...	Jerry F	5	726	Jun 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Difference? (Preview) It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...	PosiesandPuppies	6	607	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 17/6 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...	MissM	2	591	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Lost, Confused and Devastated (Preview) Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...	Crushed16	8	810	Jun 17, 2017 by Crushed16
	On Line meeting chairs needed (Preview) Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...	hotrod	6	768	Jun 16, 2017 by wp
	A Success Perhaps? (Preview) I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...	WestMan	8	700	Jun 15, 2017 by KT2015
	Back again for another "Is this normal ?" check (Preview) When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...	texas yankee	4	1141	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/15/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...	Iamhere	3	637	Jun 15, 2017 by lookingup
	Happy day! (Preview) Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...	Lyne	5	715	Jun 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leave or stay (Preview) After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...	Coasting	6	689	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	6/14/17 ODAT - 12 Steps (Preview) If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...	Enigmatic	5	687	Jun 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Step 8 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...	hotrod	1	561	Jun 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	4th Step. Oh! (Preview) I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...	WestMan	8	691	Jun 13, 2017 by shrnp
	Question about the steps (Preview) I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?	5TNTsZ	6	601	Jun 13, 2017 by Kmt
	Hope for Today June 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading focuses on step two 'came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.' The writer speaks to the idea that for him/her, the word sanity was not comfortable because it was a direct reminder of the INsanity he/she felt from growing up in a...	yanksfan51	4	565	Jun 13, 2017 by Lyne
	ODAT Reading Sunday 6-11-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 11 speaks about the slogans and how they can be used in our everyday lives. It offers ideas on my favorite:"Let go and let God". and suggests that this particulars slogan many utilize but may not completely understand the concept behind the statement. The reading poin...	hotrod	7	801	Jun 13, 2017 by MissM
	6/12/17 ODAT - Sense of Humor, Isle 7 (Preview) Today's reading shares how great it would be if we could add "Sense of Humor" to our grocery list when we're running low. No matter how tough things are, humor can lighten the mood and ease some of the weight of serious challenges. Today's Reminder: Try to look for the brighter side, the funny side of thi...	Enigmatic	9	785	Jun 12, 2017 by MissM
	AW possibly getting out of jail...not ready for that (Preview) Good MorningAs I posted earlier, my AW is in jail again. Her sentencing date is in mid-july. I thought she was going to be in for a long sentence. I was relaxed, sleeping better, etc. She called me a couple of nights ago and said that her lawyer thinks she will be sentenced to time served and getting ou...	T84	6	573	Jun 12, 2017 by shrnp
	one realization re. ACTION (Preview) i read my posts and imagine how they sound to someone who doesn't know this man i've loved and held on to for so long. and i know it looks bad (it IS bad). i think... but he's a good person, a good soul, sensitive, loving, etc. the two are not mutually exclusive. but trying to reconcile the two is a bitch. HOWE...	Junenine	21	3306	Jun 12, 2017 by Junenine
	Blindsided (Preview) Hi there newbie here, I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I have never seen him drunk. We have never had an argument. In January he was admitted to the hospital after a seizure. He was eventually diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. He nearly died. He is now 60 days sober an...	Wednesday	31	853	Jun 12, 2017 by Bo
	OT? Son pushing boundaries (Preview) I think this is off topic b/c my son is not my qualifier. But I am needing some ESH, b/c a lot of Al-Anon tools help me with my actions with all the people in my life. My son just finished his junior year, but is 16, not quite 17 yet. My AH and I have been allowing him more freedoms. Our boundaries regarding part...	PosiesandPuppies	8	725	Jun 12, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	So sad but hopeful (Preview) It seems my son has been calling himself a alcoholic. He has no understanding around that in terms of the nature of the disease. He lives with the feelings chaos trouble insanity discomfort obsession it brings but he doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he can do it with will power alone. He stops fo...	el-cee	7	672	Jun 11, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today - 6/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the freedom we gain in working our program to speak our truth. Many of us come to Al-Anon broken, scared and hurting. We are reluctant to share what's in our hearts and minds for fear of judgement, ridicule or shunning. We come to realize we do have the freedom and choice...	Iamhere	9	2924	Jun 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 10/6 (Preview) Today's c2c reading is about the eight step- "make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". The reading points out that this can be a very daunting or even distressing step to contemplate and suggests beginning with not 1 list but 3 lists..people we ARE willing...	MissM	4	597	Jun 10, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Greetings from Alaska! (Preview) Just wanted to say hello to all of my MIP family. We, my RAH ( well over two years of sobriety now) and I are visiting Alaska for a month. For those who believe it can never happen for you (hubby/wife getting sober, that is), I want to share a few things. In April, just over two years ago, I would have sworn o...	Doingmybest	7	1084	Jun 10, 2017 by maryjane
	A very long post on trusting the process... (Preview) I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.My family home is in a rural area of C...	Bethany66	12	1165	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Quacking (Preview) OK, so I know we need to focus on ourselves and not on our Qualifiers, but this is so funny I just had to post! Thursday is my AH's payday, so it's been a rough 2 days. Tonight he was drunk, but not enough to pass out. Just enough to be angry and obnoxious. I basically tried to leave him alone. But at one point h...	PosiesandPuppies	1	576	Jun 10, 2017 by Jayla
	Clarification and Suggestions Please (Preview) Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...	Jaybee	9	756	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Physically sober only (Preview) Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...	El	7	618	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Can an alcoholic "forget" they have imbibed? (Preview) Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...	PosiesandPuppies	26	5048	Jun 9, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Feeling happy and drained. (Preview) My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.	a4l	5	596	Jun 9, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Countdown (Preview) So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...	WestMan	11	730	Jun 9, 2017 by KT2015
	Gratitude - In the Most Mysterious Things! (Preview) I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...	Iamhere	17	2965	Jun 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The new chaos, same as the old chaos (Preview) I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...	Mattie	4	673	Jun 8, 2017 by Jill
	Help. New to this group, haven't been to local meeting yet. Feeling lost and sad and anxious. (Preview) Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...	augrads	16	690	Jun 8, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today - 6/8/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...	Iamhere	4	498	Jun 8, 2017 by Lyne
	Trying to identify exact problem with BIL (Preview) Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...	Faintly Falling	11	2852	Jun 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Learning to pause .. (Preview) before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...	SerenityRUS	9	774	Jun 7, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The opposite of frustration... (Preview) I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...	Jerry F	12	4257	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	6/7/17 ODAT – Polite, or Courteous? (Preview) Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...	Enigmatic	6	557	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Scared of son (Preview) I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...	Katiki67	9	1116	Jun 7, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	My anniversary (Preview) Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...	Lyne	12	560	Jun 7, 2017 by el-cee
	Nerves rattled at work....need ESH please! (Preview) Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...	Hopefull15	8	607	Jun 6, 2017 by Bethany66
	Hope ForToday June 6 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...	yanksfan51	6	636	Jun 6, 2017 by Stan1
	Oops please delete (Preview) . -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM	MissM	6	1031	Jun 6, 2017 by el-cee
	Al-Anon in my daily life- interesting (Preview) Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...	pumkin26	5	529	Jun 6, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Wake up and be present in your life..... (Preview) I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...	LinSC	4	626	Jun 5, 2017 by el-cee
	Jealousy issues, spouses addiction to flirt (Preview) Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...	1breathatatime	11	3219	Jun 5, 2017 by WestMan
	6/5/17 C2C - Turn our Will and our Lives Over... (Preview) Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...	Enigmatic	4	518	Jun 5, 2017 by Stan1
	W.O.W. (Preview) A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...	Jayla	7	1059	Jun 5, 2017 by Jayla
	Gratitude (Preview) One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...	Lyne	3	571	Jun 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is that part of the disease? (Preview) Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...	WestMan	9	2672	Jun 5, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	New here having anxiety (Preview) I'm new here. I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety today. Maybe someone can chat with me. I'm a SAHM of a toddler. My husband is a recovering alcoholic - about 60 days sober and I still experience anxiety and worry and dread when he has to go out with work colleagues or clients. Today is one of those worrisom...	Amy9087	7	4528	Jun 4, 2017 by shrnp
	ODAT reading for Sunday 6-4-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of prayer in our lives. The reading points out, that if we pray" my will be done" this is exactly what we say when we ask God to do what we want. If we receive what we pray for-.how do we know it will really made us happy? We do not always know what's...	hotrod	3	2591	Jun 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mom at the end of her rope... (Preview) I'm new to this forum and looking for other Mom's in my situation. My 29 year old daughter is an Alcoholic, she lives at home with my husband and I and her younger sister also lives here. She just relapsed again this week two days after getting her 60 day chip. Our whole house turns into turmoil when she sta...	Kerry4058	8	3160	Jun 3, 2017 by serenity47
	New here (Preview) Hi, my live in girlfriend is recently off suboxone, she was on for a year and a half. She was addicted to opiates and vodka for about 4 years. She went of suboxone slowly and has been off a month now. I don't know her anymore. One minute you can talk to her and she's fine, the next minute she's unreasonable, s...	Snow3	7	2260	Jun 3, 2017 by Jerry F
	Esophageal varicies (Preview) I'm keeping an eye on my ah for esophageal/rectal varices. I have found blood and quite a bit at a time but it never dawned on me it could be varices. I had never heard of this problem until a friend of mine told me her husband died from esophageal varices. He bled out on the bathroom floor,she called an a...	pixie	7	3071	Jun 3, 2017 by Jerry F
	Aha moments in alanon (Preview) Ive had lots n lots of aha moments while reading every bodies post, showing my growth in the program,which is great. now to just get my full trust back,seems I'm skeptical theses days.......thank you for reading n replieing to my posts as well hugs lu	lookingup	10	2953	Jun 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today - 6/2/17 (Preview) The daily reading in Hope for Today discusses how we can be addicted to the chaos/drama the disease brings, just as the alcoholic is addicted to the alcohol. While we may realize that it's damaging and insane, we are still 'comfortable' in it because it's consistent and patterned. It's possible th...	Iamhere	7	2496	Jun 3, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.