The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.
My family home is in a rural area of California with many oak trees. Due to the drought in California we have lost many trees and we are working hard to save a large old oak that overhangs our back deck. Our back deck is very large and an extension of our living space during the nice weather in California. This tree offers much needed shade in the heat of summer and is full of woodpecker holes where they nest each year. This tree is a huge part of our lives and a huge asset to our home.
On April 21st at about 6:00 pm, I had come home from work, changed out of my professional clothes and in to my at home, stretchy clothes when the phone rang. It was my youngest son, (one of my qualifiers in the past) who was calling to inform us he is marrying and to ask if we would stand up for him as a witness in his civil wedding ceremony. We were floored!! He was the child we thought would never marry. I hung up the phone and my husband and I were in shock, discussing the news as we walked out of our bedroom, down the hall to the living room area. At the point we were in the living room, which has large windows facing out to the deck and the large oak tree I had mentioned, I turned around to face my husband as he spoke. Suddenly, his face dropped and he offered a few expletives to the effect of what the HECK?? I said, What is the matter with you? He said TURN AROUND. So I did and to my surprise I saw a solid wall of BUGS flying outside our patio doors. I mean thousands of bugs flying around. We have had a very wet winter that has ended our drought in our area and we knew it would be a buggy year, but this was more bugs in one place at one time than you could ever imagine. I FREAKED OUT!! My husband went towards the door and against my protests of shrieking and waving my arms about, he opened the door and stepped out. He came back in and quietly and calmly explained that they were BEES. Now, I REALLY FREAKED OUT!! BEES?? We love bees, we need bees, we want bees but not this many bees and not on our deck where we spend so much time and were having a dinner party in about 24 hours!!
I started making calls to our gatehouse to see if any beekeepers had reported losing a hive. I got very little help in locating a bee wrangler from them. Next I called on some neighbors who suggested I call a local beekeeper who lived on a couple of miles down the road. I made the call, left a message on his cell phone and watched and waited. The bees were attaching to the closest limb of our huge oak tree. Things were settling down as they became a huge clump on the limb of our tree. The beekeeper called and my husband explained what we were experiencing and he asked us to take pictures of what we were seeing and send them to him. We did. Once he had all the information he explained to us the following.
Somewhere, within a couple of miles of us, a bee hive raised up a new queen. Once she reached maturity, she left the original hive and took half the hive with her to start a new colony in a new location. At about 6:00, the sun was beginning to set, the temperature was dropping and the queen was tired, so the scouts chose our tree to set her down in and then the rest of the bees attached to the tree on top of her to keep her safe and warm. The scouts have set off to find a new location for her and will come back to her once they have the right spot. He explained that the bees are very docile in this state, as they have no hive to protect and as long as we dont pose a threat to the queen, they would do us no harm. It was true, we could go out there and look and they totally ignored us. We (we being me) told him we needed the bees to be gone by the next afternoon because we were having a party and there would be guests on the deck and we couldnt risk a problem. He told us that rarely do the bees stay long in these transition states, and that we should leave them be and enjoy watching and being a part of a natural phenomenon that rarely is seen by people. As the sun set, the bees became quiet and stopped any fluttering of wings as if asleep. I said, okay, we can do that. He said he would call us in the morning and check status on the bees. He told us to not be surprised if when we woke, they were already gone. So, we let the bees alone and had a nice evening.
When we woke up the bees were still there. We checked out the window every few minutes to see what was going on, but they stayed in the clump around the queen. The beekeeper called and we explained they were still there and he said he could come and get them that afternoon if we were not comfortable with them, but we needed to be aware that once he disturbs them like that there will be confused and disoriented bees hanging around for a while. He suggested that we leave them alone and explain to our guests that they are witnessing a wonderful natural phenomenon. He assured us they would not hurt anyone and he recommended we just go with it. So, we did. We embraced the bees and as guests arrived we walked them out and showed them the clump of bees and explained what we had been experiencing the last 24 hours. Everyone was enthralled by the bees!! A wonderful night was had by all and everyone thanked us for the experience.
The next morning the bees were still there and now we were getting worried that they may be taking up residence in our tree. The beekeeper called as scheduled and we explained our fears. He said rarely has he heard of the bees staying more than 48 hours, but he understood our fear. We explained that we would be leaving the house at noon for a memorial service and wouldnt be back until late afternoon or early evening. He asked us to leave the bees alone and if they were still there he would come first thing Monday morning and get them. We agreed. At this point, I knew I was in for the long haul so I made sure he and my husband knew to call me when they were ready to move the bees because I wanted to leave work and come home to watch!
While were getting ready to go the service, we did our usual look out the window every few minutes to take status of the bees. I was in the bathroom, doing my hair when my husband yells THEY ARE GONE!! I dropped my curling iron and ran for the living room. In a matter of about 10 minutes they had totally vacated the tree. I felt so let down that I didnt witness the great exodus of bees. They didnt say goodbye, they just left. But they had started to make a honeycomb for the queen and it was still attached to the tree. It is about the size of my palm. My husband got it out of the tree and gave it to me for a keepsake.
I cannot explain to you what an amazing experience this was. I learned so much about bees during this 36 + hour time. I learned so much about my community and their concern over the bees and us. I learned that my friends were really cool and liked weird stuff like we do. I learned from one friend that the bees felt that our tree was a safe place to land and protect their queen. I was told that it says a lot for our home and that we were blessed to be able to participate in a small way in the bees future. I learned that though this was totally out of my control, I was okay to just observe and not touch. I was safe to let things happen as they would without my interference. I learned one of the biggest lessons of my life and it was, TRUST THE PROCESS. So simple, and yet so profound. Trust that things will unfold as they should at exactly the right time. I am so thankful for those bees.
__________________
Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
That is such a beautiful story. I had never heard of this happening before. It is also such a great illustration of trusting in the process. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us.
Bethany - Love, love, love your share! How perfectly cool that your guests were trusting enough of you and your husband to embrace the lovely event!!! What's so funny for me - last weekend, we had a huge picnic for recovery - probably 100 people. One of my fellow AA members and his girlfriend have hives. They are reasonably new to the field but very smart and very informed.
Another friend in recovery experienced what you did - woke up, went to walk the dog and got totally freaked out by the amount of bees that had taken up temporary residence in her front year tree. She had photos and you are right - I've never seen so many in one place - you could NOT see any BARK in the area they huddled for queen protection. She called the couple who explained exactly what your guy explained - temporary, queen, maturity, new place, etc.
It was fascinating to listen to how they do what they do. It was also fascinating that both scenarios describe the bees as docile and harmless - they are busy and tired...and focused on 'their next right thing'. It amazes me that I'd never heard this in all my years of life and now two times in one week in different parts of the country (we're in KS).
The friend who owned the tree was completely freaked out and fearful yet she too was able to trust the process. Her bees took off in under a day! How grand all the lessons you got from your experience. I am a huge believer in nature providing us opportunities to see true miracles often. Thanks for sharing!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Oh my gosh! I absolutely loved this story and lesson. I have to say, I probably would have been behind bolted doors.......but I give you and your guests kudos for trusting and letting nature take care of itself.
Thank you for the effort into typing up the story, as well. Beautiful.....and what an "honor" to observe it.
What an experience, Bethany! Thank you for sharing it with us. I just love how our program principles are illustrated in nature ... Live and Let Live, Don't Force Solutions, Wait for the Miracle ...
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Great photos!!! Lovely gift too.....made me smile this AM!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for the share it was interesting. I have had honey bees try to make a home in the walls of an old cabin on my property one time. I did have a bee keeper come and get them because they had settled in and were not going anywhere. They did not sting anyone. I had to replace part of the wall though.