The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading mentions step 9 and the difficulty we might have in making direct amends to people in our lives. The writer speaks of making a list of traits that he/she can be grateful to his/her parents for. The writer easily makes a list attributable to the father, but is stuck when it is time to make a list for the mother. Over time, and with prayer, the writer is able to list many positive traits and be thankful and humble that they were gifts from the mother. The thought for the day reminds us that there is something to learn from everyone who is in our lives or has ever been in our lives.
This program has helped me see the balance of things. I might have a trait that I see as a character defect until I see that it had been useful as a survival tool at one time. On the other hand I may behave in some way that I consider perfectly benign until I examine motives and see it another way. Today's reading got me thinking about the power of rigorous honesty and how crucial that is in recovery.
today is my last day of school so I will honestly say: "school's out!!!!!!!!!'
Good Morning Mary Enjoy your summer vacation- You have earned it. I love how you have presented the concepts from.this reading Great idea to list the family members and define their positive qualities, as well as our own and proceed to apreciate the gifts I have been given I know when I first worked Step 9 I placed myself at the top of the list of people to make amends to and proceeded to make amends to myself by attending alanon meetings, uncovering my hidden defects and negative attitudes and accepting help in changing Thanks for your service
I appreciate your share about balance in character traits. I have found that in each character trait I posses, I can use that train positively or negatively, and being rigorously honest with myself helps me to see the difference.
Thank you for sharing, I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Happy Tuesday to one and all - thanks for the shares and ESH above me! Happy Summer Mary - thank you for your service and the daily!
Rigorous honesty is the cornerstone of success in recovery. I have found that when I put my will or my fears in front of reality, I stunt my growth in recovery. Making amends to others has gotten easier with practice. All I know is that the more I 'purge' from my old way of being/thinking, the more room I have for growth.
Putting me first was so hard in Al-Anon as I was raised to put me last. However, what I've witnessed and experienced is it does work! Not only am I happier and more balanced, I meddle less in the lives of others and they find me more approachable and pleasant to be around. Same goes for my old habit of reacting quickly vs. pausing to respond lovingly. Step 9 for me helped to clear the wreckage of the past as much as Step 4 and 5 - making room in my mind, body and soul for 'the best that's yet to come'!
Hope everyone's having a great Tuesday! Spent some time watching the grand-babies this morning and am cleaning for company! Happy Tuesday - it's hot again here so enjoy that cooler weather when it arrives - it only lasted 1.5-2 days!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I assumed, in the early days of AA, people would go out, early in the piece and cut ties with the drinking past by making direct amends.
In Alanon I suffered from depth of guilt and shame, which were revealed to me as I came along to meeting and shared. A lot of the time I could not tell who was right and who was wrong- with lil ol me swirling around, in the middle...
...even the mere fact of getting to a meeting was a big deal within my wider family... Inside my small town i was pretty apparent whose car was parked out side of the rooms. Some people around town believed that i was in AA, which did not bother me much.
Changing my stance on life, and doing the middle steps- well... I actually believed I was lily white and much of a victim. This was not so, as I found out. It took the support of the group to work this through.
With many of my faults and errors i resolved to seek out opportunities to make amends. If there was a broken line of communication it took two people, or more to make the connection and try to heal.
I have done a big amends over the last two years to one person I wronged badly. Today I have the boundaries to do this one well, with sensitivity and honesty...
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