Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

Lyne · Lyne

Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...

Jan S · Jan S

i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...

Old Soul Scorpio · Old Soul Scorpio

I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...

joker · joker

If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...

joker · joker

the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...

maria k · maria k

Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...

angelawang · angelawang

I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...

CarlyH · CarlyH

I'm so full of anger for the woman whos been in my life for 3 years. she's an alcoholic and she's lied and treated me very badly. Ive allowed her to do that. I've never been treated so badly but made the excuse she was ill and that she didn't mean it and when she was better everything would be ok..ive told...

tracig · tracig

I have been married to my AH for nearly 19 years and he has drank for that whole time. He just seriously tried to stop drinking in Jan of this year. He did an outpatient rehab and AA and did well for a couple of months. And then something, he can't tell me what, caused him to veer off the path. So then we went to t...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am so mad at myself for being in this situation again. As soon as I think things might be ok, BAM they are totally out of control. My ah has been saying that he is going to AA and maybe he is, but he has also been sneaking around and drinking behind my back. This has caused arguments where I am falling back...

LinSC · LinSC

I am the one who stayed and tried my best to raise him and his brother alone, his dad left the state and more or less abandoned him. Why isnt he mad at him, instead its all my fault....I guess this is called misplaced anger or something like that. He is in his early 30's and does not drink anymore, but does not...

Fergie · Fergie

hi everyone. I don't post often, but today I have to "talk" with someone who understands alcoholism and the crazy stuff that happens because of it. I have been taking care of my mother in laws finances after she could no longer keep up, with permission from the family ( and I wanted to help in this way). I...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm in a difficult phase of my life, but maybe they all have been. Or maybe my serenity is slipping due to ongoing stress with my A, moving, sick animals, family stuff, etc. I need patience, my tools, compassion, acceptance, etc., and I feel exhausted. Each day has new challenges and the happy and fu...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

i began to post wondering if i was looking for self pity .. nope .. already found that one all by myself lol .. i am just looking to be in a fellowship with others who understand or have felt what i have .. feelings can still be so large for me sometimes .. course i'm an adult child of alcoholism so .. everythin...

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...

a4l · a4l

Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...

shenny · shenny

this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...

bobosensei · bobosensei

My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...

Demartine · Demartine

My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...

joker · joker

Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...

Janetuc52 · Janetuc52

Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...

atheos · atheos

(For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...

GeorgiaWife14 · GeorgiaWife14

I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...

El · El

Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...

Jayla · Jayla

It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...

joker · joker

Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...

mandymott · mandymott

Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...

Human · Human

I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...

RC_mom · RC_mom

Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...

el-cee · el-cee

Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...

joker · joker

yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	3	516	Oct 16, 2017 by maryjane
	C2C, 10/16 (Preview) Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...	Lyne	4	516	Oct 16, 2017 by mamakat71
	Signs my alcoholic is drinking again (Preview) i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...	Jan S	5	670	Oct 16, 2017 by Neroli
	Struggling with husband returning any advice (Preview) Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...	Jlilley	6	627	Oct 16, 2017 by Bettertomorrow
	I'm am idiot (Preview) I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...	Old Soul Scorpio	8	573	Oct 16, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hope for me (Preview) If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...	joker	2	446	Oct 16, 2017 by MeTwo2
	FUN (Preview) the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...	joker	0	460	Oct 15, 2017 by joker
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	1	448	Oct 15, 2017 by Dancer66
	A Good Thing (Preview) So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...	PosiesandPuppies	8	863	Oct 15, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	It is frustrating to not know what "normal" is (Preview) Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...	maria k	5	1034	Oct 15, 2017 by DellaElle
	LOST newbie (Preview) I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...	angelawang	6	3937	Oct 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	Angry (Preview) I'm so full of anger for the woman whos been in my life for 3 years. she's an alcoholic and she's lied and treated me very badly. Ive allowed her to do that. I've never been treated so badly but made the excuse she was ill and that she didn't mean it and when she was better everything would be ok..ive told...	CarlyH	9	2528	Oct 15, 2017 by MeTwo2
	New Here- so confused (Preview) I have been married to my AH for nearly 19 years and he has drank for that whole time. He just seriously tried to stop drinking in Jan of this year. He did an outpatient rehab and AA and did well for a couple of months. And then something, he can't tell me what, caused him to veer off the path. So then we went to t...	tracig	5	532	Oct 15, 2017 by tracig
	Bad day (Preview) I am so mad at myself for being in this situation again. As soon as I think things might be ok, BAM they are totally out of control. My ah has been saying that he is going to AA and maybe he is, but he has also been sneaking around and drinking behind my back. This has caused arguments where I am falling back...	mamakat71	3	603	Oct 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why is he angry at me? (Preview) I am the one who stayed and tried my best to raise him and his brother alone, his dad left the state and more or less abandoned him. Why isnt he mad at him, instead its all my fault....I guess this is called misplaced anger or something like that. He is in his early 30's and does not drink anymore, but does not...	LinSC	12	796	Oct 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Taking care of myself (Preview) hi everyone. I don't post often, but today I have to "talk" with someone who understands alcoholism and the crazy stuff that happens because of it. I have been taking care of my mother in laws finances after she could no longer keep up, with permission from the family ( and I wanted to help in this way). I...	Fergie	7	725	Oct 14, 2017 by Fergie
	Lately everyday feels like a test (Preview) I'm in a difficult phase of my life, but maybe they all have been. Or maybe my serenity is slipping due to ongoing stress with my A, moving, sick animals, family stuff, etc. I need patience, my tools, compassion, acceptance, etc., and I feel exhausted. Each day has new challenges and the happy and fu...	Lyne	5	588	Oct 14, 2017 by Jerry F
	What am i looking for tonight .. hmm (Preview) i began to post wondering if i was looking for self pity .. nope .. already found that one all by myself lol .. i am just looking to be in a fellowship with others who understand or have felt what i have .. feelings can still be so large for me sometimes .. course i'm an adult child of alcoholism so .. everythin...	MeTwo2	6	663	Oct 14, 2017 by MeTwo2
	ODAT READING 10-14-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...	bettyk	1	474	Oct 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	It’s a waiting game he’s (Preview) Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...	Jlilley	12	3016	Oct 14, 2017 by DiNoiaAtHeart
	AA or Alanon? (Preview) A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...	Buckeye Girl	4	699	Oct 14, 2017 by 1911A1
	Whoops. (Preview) Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...	a4l	4	585	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	Better Late Than Never - Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/17 (Preview) Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...	Iamhere	5	589	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	daily 10th step inventory questions 10th step stepwork inventory (Preview) this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...	shenny	12	14131	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Making the choice to leave (Preview) My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...	bobosensei	15	923	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trying to understand all this I’m still learning never dealt with this (Preview) My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...	Demartine	5	1158	Oct 13, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/12/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...	Iamhere	3	606	Oct 12, 2017 by mamakat71
	Having a wake up moment (Preview) Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...	joker	5	2047	Oct 12, 2017 by el-cee
	Family issues (Preview) Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...	Janetuc52	7	689	Oct 12, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change October 11 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...	Skorpi	3	1178	Oct 12, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	waiting....waiting...well today is that day (Preview) I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...	mamakat71	7	659	Oct 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Dealing with a spouse's enabling (Preview) I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...	LKSG8R	3	734	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	I think my anger is actually fear/grief (Preview) I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...	KT2015	10	2602	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hardware Store for Bread.... (Preview) Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...	Iamhere	17	964	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	ESH on lack of confidence? (Preview) (For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...	atheos	5	723	Oct 11, 2017 by Jerry F
	how do you handle a good day? (Preview) I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...	mamakat71	10	714	Oct 11, 2017 by _bunny_
	ODAT Reading 10-10-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...	hotrod	4	710	Oct 11, 2017 by nursedebbi
	Loss (Preview) I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...	GeorgiaWife14	8	751	Oct 10, 2017 by Jerry F
	the 12 step prayer book--the 4 A's (Preview) This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...	mamalioness	4	2816	Oct 10, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Trying so hard to detach (Preview) Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...	El	10	716	Oct 10, 2017 by El
	butting in to other peoples circuses (Preview) i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...	YARNCRAZY	3	717	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Continuing the journey (Preview) I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...	mamakat71	3	574	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	First face to face al-Anon meeting (Preview) Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...	Jlilley	4	594	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	VERY long post, but I need to share--it hurts but I did the right thing, for ME!!! (Preview) I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...	mamalioness	6	728	Oct 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C, 10/9 (Preview) Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...	Lyne	5	546	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	Went to court to file papers today (Preview) So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...	PosiesandPuppies	12	2603	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	STILL Struggling with Guilt (Preview) It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...	Jayla	5	1989	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Oct 8 (Preview) Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...	yanksfan51	4	580	Oct 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feel like Iâ€™m still stuck on the circle (Preview) Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...	Jlilley	3	647	Oct 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Dealing with their anger (Preview) My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...	LKSG8R	6	3284	Oct 8, 2017 by Maresie
	Interesting article to review (Preview) Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...	joker	4	3014	Oct 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	sticky situation (Preview) Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...	mandymott	8	1187	Oct 7, 2017 by mandymott
	ODAT Reading 10-7-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...	hotrod	1	1774	Oct 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Odd man out (Preview) I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...	Human	9	2771	Oct 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Mom/Wife who needs advice for alcoholic husband please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...	RC_mom	17	5615	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Am I part of the problem? (Preview) I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...	Bethany66	2	2011	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...	Iamhere	1	525	Oct 6, 2017 by hotrod
	View of alcoholics (Preview) Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...	el-cee	5	2447	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	lots of feelings, what to do with them (Preview) I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...	mamakat71	5	2542	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	a on bender (Preview) yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...	joker	3	742	Oct 5, 2017 by Maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.