Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...

a4l · a4l

Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...

shenny · shenny

this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...

bobosensei · bobosensei

My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...

Demartine · Demartine

My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...

joker · joker

Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...

Janetuc52 · Janetuc52

Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...

atheos · atheos

(For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...

GeorgiaWife14 · GeorgiaWife14

I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...

El · El

Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...

Jayla · Jayla

It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...

joker · joker

Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...

mandymott · mandymott

Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...

Human · Human

I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...

RC_mom · RC_mom

Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...

el-cee · el-cee

Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...

joker · joker

yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...

joker · joker

I have been reading on line all day yesterday and today the message board and it makes me feel stronger and happier. I was able to sleep last night for a few hours and was awoken at 5:30 am to drunkin abf talking to himself and screaming "Demons get out of this house now, I mean now," totally out of his mind. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading talks about THINK. So often, we can get bogged down with dissatisfaction, and lack the ability to see where we are or where we are going. If we take time and THINK, we can realize that negativity keeps our lives at a standstill. Recovery in Al-Anon helps us di...

jessiefred86 · jessiefred86

It will be two more weeks and then he will be out of rehab. These have been the most restful and stress-free weeks of my life this past year. I feel lighter, more productive, happier. I'm so scared about what happens when he gets out. He has no where to go, as he has already exhausted all of his family resour...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am sure I've gotten enough sleep physically yet mentally and emotionally thereafter I have not. I'm yawning and happy and excited I made it to the computer and this family because program family can and will change my perspective, attitude and spirit quickly. MIP is part (big) of my literature a...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So Friday night was my AH's bday. He was passed out and the house smelled of alcohol when I stopped by around 9 am that morning. So I checked on my cats, made sure they were fed & box was clean and left my card. I think I posted that later that day I saw him driving up the street (probably from liquor store a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the Al-Anon practice of concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. The author shares that, when they first arrived at Al-Anon, they felt that their problems were so unique, that they set them apart from everyone...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi All, The difference between a shortcoming and a defect of character has always felt a bit confusing for me. I'm hoping for es&h about the difference between them. My approach to them has been this way. I see defects of character as behaviors that I'd like to change that can create difficulties f...

Dazcreed · Dazcreed

For the past 2 years, I knew that my wife had a drinking problem... although, I have just recently realised that it is much bigger than that... 2-3 bottles of wine per day. We have been married for 24 years in just under 2 weeks time and have been together for almost 32 years and have three children (Son - 22...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hello all. I am new to alanon, but have been living with the disease of alcoholism my entire life. My step-father, my uncle and both husbands (2) have all been alcoholics. I have done all the begging, pleading, crying and making threats that many of you have done. I have children at home still and 3 gr...

DellaElle · DellaElle

I've heard this concept of detaching with love from Al-Anon for awhile, and seriously, I don't get it

. I used to say "I can detach with anger, but not love", until I realized that when I'm angry at her, I'm reacting, not detaching. Not that it's not ok to feel angry - that's my internal warnin...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

So I think that I've confused detachment with ignoring the behavior. I need help to learn what the difference is. I need scenarios. I feel like ignoring his drinking is giving him the impression that I just don't care anymore. I have a meeting tonight, but I can't wait. This is driving me mad. I can't fin...

WestMan · WestMan

Had a stupid spat with my wife. It ended after she picked up a piece of broken glass from a picture frame and started purposefully cutting herself. I called 911 and she has been taken to the hospital on a 5150 hold. To her this is the ultimate humiliation. She will never forgive me for that. My kids only sa...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 3 speaks about expressing "Compassion" .The reading suggests that defining Compassion is difficult however It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism" compassion" sometimes gets displaced because we become angry, seek revenge , scream and throw th...

Atom · Atom

Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post. My ex, and father of my young child, is an alcoholic. He had a very troublesome childhood and this results in him 'coping' with alcohol. When he drinks, his anger spills out, and I am the target. We split 4 years ago because of the trauma of the alcohol and because of...

glimmer777 · glimmer777

Greetings. I am new here and have been reaching out to as many people as I can. I feel like I've just opened a can of worms. I run an HR consulting company with a business partner. About 9 months ago I noticed my partner behaving oddly. We both work from home, but in the past saw each other several times...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

I separated from my husband four months ago and, like many of us, perhaps I held on too long. He was physically ill from alcoholism at that point, and about to lose his job. Once I left, he did go into detox and then inpatient rehab. I think he took these difficult steps to get me to come back. I can under...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step Two, has been posted to the step work board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63986605/alan...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT READING 10-14-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...	bettyk	1	431	Oct 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	It’s a waiting game he’s (Preview) Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...	Jlilley	12	2872	Oct 14, 2017 by DiNoiaAtHeart
	AA or Alanon? (Preview) A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...	Buckeye Girl	4	649	Oct 14, 2017 by 1911A1
	Whoops. (Preview) Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...	a4l	4	541	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	Better Late Than Never - Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/17 (Preview) Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...	Iamhere	5	544	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	daily 10th step inventory questions 10th step stepwork inventory (Preview) this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...	shenny	12	13321	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Making the choice to leave (Preview) My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...	bobosensei	15	877	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trying to understand all this I’m still learning never dealt with this (Preview) My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...	Demartine	5	1093	Oct 13, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/12/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...	Iamhere	3	551	Oct 12, 2017 by mamakat71
	Having a wake up moment (Preview) Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...	joker	5	1992	Oct 12, 2017 by el-cee
	Family issues (Preview) Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...	Janetuc52	7	644	Oct 12, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change October 11 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...	Skorpi	3	1051	Oct 12, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	waiting....waiting...well today is that day (Preview) I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...	mamakat71	7	601	Oct 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Dealing with a spouse's enabling (Preview) I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...	LKSG8R	3	668	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	I think my anger is actually fear/grief (Preview) I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...	KT2015	10	2480	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hardware Store for Bread.... (Preview) Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...	Iamhere	17	913	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	ESH on lack of confidence? (Preview) (For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...	atheos	5	664	Oct 11, 2017 by Jerry F
	how do you handle a good day? (Preview) I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...	mamakat71	10	644	Oct 11, 2017 by _bunny_
	ODAT Reading 10-10-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...	hotrod	4	658	Oct 11, 2017 by nursedebbi
	Loss (Preview) I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...	GeorgiaWife14	8	698	Oct 10, 2017 by Jerry F
	the 12 step prayer book--the 4 A's (Preview) This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...	mamalioness	4	2651	Oct 10, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Trying so hard to detach (Preview) Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...	El	10	663	Oct 10, 2017 by El
	butting in to other peoples circuses (Preview) i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...	YARNCRAZY	3	662	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Continuing the journey (Preview) I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...	mamakat71	3	519	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	First face to face al-Anon meeting (Preview) Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...	Jlilley	4	542	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	VERY long post, but I need to share--it hurts but I did the right thing, for ME!!! (Preview) I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...	mamalioness	6	677	Oct 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C, 10/9 (Preview) Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...	Lyne	5	496	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	Went to court to file papers today (Preview) So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...	PosiesandPuppies	12	2461	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	STILL Struggling with Guilt (Preview) It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...	Jayla	5	1945	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Oct 8 (Preview) Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...	yanksfan51	4	538	Oct 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feel like Iâ€™m still stuck on the circle (Preview) Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...	Jlilley	3	592	Oct 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Dealing with their anger (Preview) My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...	LKSG8R	6	3104	Oct 8, 2017 by Maresie
	Interesting article to review (Preview) Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...	joker	4	2848	Oct 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	sticky situation (Preview) Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...	mandymott	8	1150	Oct 7, 2017 by mandymott
	ODAT Reading 10-7-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...	hotrod	1	1650	Oct 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Odd man out (Preview) I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...	Human	9	2625	Oct 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Mom/Wife who needs advice for alcoholic husband please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...	RC_mom	17	5281	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Am I part of the problem? (Preview) I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...	Bethany66	2	1863	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...	Iamhere	1	479	Oct 6, 2017 by hotrod
	View of alcoholics (Preview) Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...	el-cee	5	2311	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	lots of feelings, what to do with them (Preview) I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...	mamakat71	5	2390	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	a on bender (Preview) yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...	joker	3	695	Oct 5, 2017 by Maresie
	left for my sanity (Preview) I have been reading on line all day yesterday and today the message board and it makes me feel stronger and happier. I was able to sleep last night for a few hours and was awoken at 5:30 am to drunkin abf talking to himself and screaming "Demons get out of this house now, I mean now," totally out of his mind. I...	joker	5	2481	Oct 5, 2017 by mandymott
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/5/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading talks about THINK. So often, we can get bogged down with dissatisfaction, and lack the ability to see where we are or where we are going. If we take time and THINK, we can realize that negativity keeps our lives at a standstill. Recovery in Al-Anon helps us di...	Iamhere	1	507	Oct 5, 2017 by hotrod
	2 weeks until he gets out of rehab (Preview) It will be two more weeks and then he will be out of rehab. These have been the most restful and stress-free weeks of my life this past year. I feel lighter, more productive, happier. I'm so scared about what happens when he gets out. He has no where to go, as he has already exhausted all of his family resour...	jessiefred86	5	2659	Oct 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Slowly freeing myself (Preview) So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem...	BethBethBeth	4	2055	Oct 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	Amazing Grace... (Preview) I am sure I've gotten enough sleep physically yet mentally and emotionally thereafter I have not. I'm yawning and happy and excited I made it to the computer and this family because program family can and will change my perspective, attitude and spirit quickly. MIP is part (big) of my literature a...	Jerry F	3	2639	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	I can't seem to escape the drama! (Preview) So Friday night was my AH's bday. He was passed out and the house smelled of alcohol when I stopped by around 9 am that morning. So I checked on my cats, made sure they were fed & box was clean and left my card. I think I posted that later that day I saw him driving up the street (probably from liquor store a...	PosiesandPuppies	8	2848	Oct 4, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change October 4 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the Al-Anon practice of concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. The author shares that, when they first arrived at Al-Anon, they felt that their problems were so unique, that they set them apart from everyone...	Skorpi	4	2718	Oct 4, 2017 by mamakat71
	Shortcomings vs Defects of Character (Preview) Hi All, The difference between a shortcoming and a defect of character has always felt a bit confusing for me. I'm hoping for es&h about the difference between them. My approach to them has been this way. I see defects of character as behaviors that I'd like to change that can create difficulties f...	tiredtonite	11	7068	Oct 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	I have just learned that I have an AW (Preview) For the past 2 years, I knew that my wife had a drinking problem... although, I have just recently realised that it is much bigger than that... 2-3 bottles of wine per day. We have been married for 24 years in just under 2 weeks time and have been together for almost 32 years and have three children (Son - 22...	Dazcreed	9	3550	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	crossroads (Preview) Hello all. I am new to alanon, but have been living with the disease of alcoholism my entire life. My step-father, my uncle and both husbands (2) have all been alcoholics. I have done all the begging, pleading, crying and making threats that many of you have done. I have children at home still and 3 gr...	mamakat71	4	2638	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	I think I just got a glimpse of what "Detaching with Love" looks like? (Preview) I've heard this concept of detaching with love from Al-Anon for awhile, and seriously, I don't get it . I used to say "I can detach with anger, but not love", until I realized that when I'm angry at her, I'm reacting, not detaching. Not that it's not ok to feel angry - that's my internal warnin...	DellaElle	11	4131	Oct 4, 2017 by Junenine
	Detach vs ignore (Preview) So I think that I've confused detachment with ignoring the behavior. I need help to learn what the difference is. I need scenarios. I feel like ignoring his drinking is giving him the impression that I just don't care anymore. I have a meeting tonight, but I can't wait. This is driving me mad. I can't fin...	Cmag3	9	3220	Oct 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Help (Preview) Had a stupid spat with my wife. It ended after she picked up a piece of broken glass from a picture frame and started purposefully cutting herself. I called 911 and she has been taken to the hospital on a 5150 hold. To her this is the ultimate humiliation. She will never forgive me for that. My kids only sa...	WestMan	34	3724	Oct 3, 2017 by mamakat71
	C2C Reading 10-3-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 3 speaks about expressing "Compassion" .The reading suggests that defining Compassion is difficult however It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism" compassion" sometimes gets displaced because we become angry, seek revenge , scream and throw th...	hotrod	6	1431	Oct 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Estranged ex keeps bingeing and making abusive phone calls (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post. My ex, and father of my young child, is an alcoholic. He had a very troublesome childhood and this results in him 'coping' with alcohol. When he drinks, his anger spills out, and I am the target. We split 4 years ago because of the trauma of the alcohol and because of...	Atom	23	2911	Oct 3, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I opened a can of worms.. (Preview) Greetings. I am new here and have been reaching out to as many people as I can. I feel like I've just opened a can of worms. I run an HR consulting company with a business partner. About 9 months ago I noticed my partner behaving oddly. We both work from home, but in the past saw each other several times...	glimmer777	4	2096	Oct 2, 2017 by Jerry F
	Feeling trapped by my AH's threats of suicide (Preview) I separated from my husband four months ago and, like many of us, perhaps I held on too long. He was physically ill from alcoholism at that point, and about to lose his job. Once I left, he did go into detox and then inpatient rehab. I think he took these difficult steps to get me to come back. I can under...	gratefulforafuture	8	2557	Oct 2, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step 2 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step Two, has been posted to the step work board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63986605/alan...	hotrod	1	2047	Oct 2, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.