The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional abuse or loving care/emotional safety. One of the coping mechanisms for this roller coaster was learning to cling to one of the extremes and holding on. Through the work of the program, learning to embrace a calmer life that involves more gray area started to become the new 'normal'.
I can certainly see myself in today's reading. The chaos and reaction to chaos which is part of an alcoholic life was my normal for a long time. I could feel that I would be drawn into the drama-of-the-day, would willingly be part of it and then almost simultaneously be resentful that I was all caught up in it. Insanity, indeed! The gentle pace and calming nature of this program has helped me grow and appreciate that life is full and rich and drama free all at the same time. The quote fro Courage to Change (p. 194) states: "Al-Anon helps me to come back to center."
I hope everyone enjoys the calm and peace of today.
Good Morning Mary I can certainly identify with growing up in the chaos and insanity of this disease. I can remember entering alanon and hearing everyone talk about" serenity" and thinking "I do not want serenity as it sounds very boring".
I kept that to myself and kept coming back as i felt safe and secure at meetings. Then one day quite by accident , I felt the power of 'serenity " and was confused over what i was feeling . Then and there i decided that serenity was extremely important to living my life and worked diligently to attain and maintain it. Today I will not sacrifice anything for my serenity and i am so pleased that I found the tools in alanon.
Hi Mary-Thank you for the reading and your share. I can certainly relate as in my growing up, you never knew what you were going to get from a raging person. There was no consistency and no feeling of safety. That environment leads to insecurity and low self esteem. It created a thriving doormat status in myself, my sister, and one brother. All of us broken! I'm happy to say that in program I have gained a self I can respect and love. My sister is also in Alanon across the country, and we both find it a blessing in our lives, Lyne
WOW!! Okay just woke up in the middle of my past!!
You sisters are right on as to what it was like and what happened up to and including the AFG coming into my life. WOW!! I got that old DUCK and RUN feeling and urge.
My mutual compassion for you and us and mutual gratitude for the understanding. Yes I was raised such also yet have arrived in the same place as yourselves. Thank HP.
It is not over and then not near as traumatic, sad and depressive as it once was thanks to the program and all of the members who have come to lead me out of that jungle. "It doesn't have to be that way Jerry F" is what I was led to believe over the long haul and I arrived at hope and then truth.
I smiled at seeing your smile Mary...sooo genuine and then was led to Betty and Lyne's ESH. Wow what a way to wake up...Mahalo HP and the ladies of Al-Anon. ((((Hugs))))
Happy Sunday all - thank you Mary for the daily and your service. Thank you all for the shares and ESH. I was raised by 2 untreated ACoAs and let's just say....we put the fun in dysFUNctional. All I know is when I arrived at Al-Anon and was embraced by those who came before me, I felt more at home and with real people than ever before.
The program, steps, and fellowship has given me the road map to leave that where it is, the past and embrace life, one day at a time. Thank you all for being a part of my journey - my gratitude is beyond words!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
