Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debilyn · debilyn

Ok what time is the meeting? I am in Oregon. love, debilyn who for some reason cannot keep her eyes open today...zzzzz

cdb · cdb

Hello everyone, I still haven't got an answer if there will be a vote tonite on whether we can give hugs, smiles, nods or agrees during a meeting. There are people that don't use this board and don't even know about the meeting as someone stated at open chat late last night. I am new here and I have voiced...

holly123 · holly123

Hi Everyone, I needed to just sit here and type. In a way I hate message boards because I can't get an immediate answer. I want it and I want it now. Guess that goes with the whole problems I suffer from huh, lol. Anyway I am so confused.&nbs...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Gosh, went to an alanon retreat. Some of it is still sinking in. A friend of mine tried to remind me when dealing with my A, "No defense, (defensiveness) No retaliation." I guess I think of it as take no offense, no need to retaliate.

holly123 · holly123

Hello Everyone, Let me tell you about myself, I have been in Al-anon for almost a year, I have made great strides and great slides in this program. I have been married to my a for almost 10 years and new him much more than that. I previously had a online sponsor b...

fineline · fineline

I've worked the steps and discovered that I am emotionally immature and needy. I also discovered that I married a really decent man who is emotionally unavailable. (I'll pass on the hardware store theory have heard it plenty of times). What I need to know, is now what? I especially want to hear from any...

dogscribe · dogscribe

Hi everyone. I haven't posted here very often but I do come and read to gain some insight with everyone's experiences. First off I just want to say thank you to everyone for sharing and for willing to listen to my vents. It's weird - there must be different stages with dealing with an A.&n...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, In another thread some one had asked me how Conner was, and how old he is now. Conner is now 15 months old, he is not walking, but he crawls and climbs faster than I can catch him. He is a little joy, laughing and smiling all of the time. He is so content, okay a little spoiled but Mom and Big Brothers...

richard · richard

At times, I say, “I wish I could get younger as I get older.” I say, I wish I could go back to younger years, only take with me what I know today. Only thing is though… if I took back what I know now… I would not do many, most of what I have done. However, if I did not do those things, done other things… I would not...

cloud · cloud

Hi all I am looking for a sponser who can help me begin working the steps and just lend a hand if I get off track, I really do not know to go about asking for one, so any input you can please give. Yes I am the lost puppy! LOL I need to find myself and I am not sure how since I have been not knowing me for so long, well,...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

I picked up my blue book "How Alanon Works for Family and Friends" and began to read about the slogans. Was pretty interesting how we study this slogan and really study the "Let Live" part very thoroughly, but we forget the "LIVE" part. The "LIVE" part is for US, and we have a right to a good l...

jj · jj

Lastnight all was going just fine and for once in such a long time I was headded to bed early, had a shower and getting ready for bed. When I got out of the shower I heard my daughter crying and since AH was home and not intoxicated I figured he would tend to daughters needs but no she continued to cry. So I quic...

cdb · cdb

Hello Everyone, Part of my journey though alanon is to make amends. WEll, I need to explain about what I found to be a problem for me lately. I have chronic pain and at nite I take a pain pill called methadone which is very strong and also latey a sleeping pill called ambien. I know that my pa...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was just over reading the AA board and came upon a post that made me stop and think. To be honest, what this post mentioned had never crossed my mind. We refer people to books and pamphlets, the written word. Now here in chat or message board I think it is pretty safe to assume the person ca...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey guys, is the page down tonight, Tuesday, March 8th?

Phil · Phil

Deal with Resentment Now!!! Remember the HALT formula - when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, you are more likely to act out. When you are hungry, you can eat. When you are lonely you can seek company or make a phone call. When you are tired you can give yourself some rest. But what can you do when...

shimo · shimo

 GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING March 9, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST in the Al-Anon Chatroom   &n...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I don't know if this is a recent upsurge of certain things happening, or if I just didn't notice it before. At any rate, since we have a lot of newcomers and others who are not able to attend face to face meetings, I just thought I would mention a few things. My humble opinion here. Take...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. --Jose Ortegay Gasset Where the mind is, there will be the heart; we become what we think about. If that idea doesn't halt you in your tracks, it should. Why? Our sense of self is totally reflective of our habitual thi...

richard · richard

This detachment thing… hating the disease… loving the person inside… all beings of God deserves to be loved and are loved by God… God is in all and is all. A chronic drunk driver deserves to be loved… she or he deserves to be in prison for the protection of society and the drunk. A mate addicted to drugs lik...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I have a phone sponsor, but I would really like to be able to IM via yahoo or MSN someone. I have chronic health problems and need to work the steps for that as much as my families alcohol problem. anybody willing, I have p[lenty of friends to chat with so I wouldn't be bugging you all the time, I j...

whitie · whitie

In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking t...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, My 20 year old alcoholic/drug addict daughter is still in the inpatient treatment center and probably will be some time still. It has been a month Wednesday that she was admited. We now owe $1,000 out of pocket which is good for most insurance companies but not good for my husband and m...

jj · jj

Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. There is a saying in the AlaTeen Twelve Step Program that says, “God Can’t do his work if you’re standing in His way.” Several years ago a popular song said, “If it don’t fit---don’t force it-...

debilyn · debilyn

Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad. Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn

Ava · Ava

Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...

richard · richard

…my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...

debilyn · debilyn

I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward. A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed. I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound by the light that I have. I must stand by anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln

Mamaklop · Mamaklop

Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!! Here is my story. My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...

debalina36 · debalina36

I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...

cah · cah

I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope this post finds everyone well. :) When my husband relapsed I had no choice but to stick to my word. I had told him that under no circumstances would the kids and I live with active drinking. We where aware that there could be slip ups, and we would keep quiet about that, but when he be...

she123 · she123

Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight. I thought I...

cant stand it · cant stand it

My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...

Mark S · Mark S

Hey all Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...

Phil · Phil

Fear and focus by Chris Joosse Books to read: 'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...

luv123 · luv123

Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings. some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...

kerry5 · kerry5

Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy. If I Continue.... IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things, I will continue to think the way i have always thought. If i continue to think the way i have always thought, I will continue...

jj · jj

So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...

Lucy_A · Lucy_A

This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...

Phil · Phil

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.

kerry5 · kerry5

I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...

richard · richard

JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...

jj · jj

Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...

jj · jj

this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...

Phil · Phil

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...

Smeep61 · Smeep61

I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...

page · page

I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...

Phil · Phil

Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...

jj · jj

has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ

jj · jj

So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...

debilyn · debilyn

I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...

esoro2004 · esoro2004

I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...

Phil · Phil

Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...

cdb · cdb

Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb

cdb · cdb

Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Meeting? time? (Preview) Ok what time is the meeting? I am in Oregon. love, debilyn who for some reason cannot keep her eyes open today...zzzzz	debilyn	2	987	Mar 9, 2005 by Maria123
	VOTING tonite at meeting (Preview) Hello everyone, I still haven't got an answer if there will be a vote tonite on whether we can give hugs, smiles, nods or agrees during a meeting. There are people that don't use this board and don't even know about the meeting as someone stated at open chat late last night. I am new here and I have voiced...	cdb	3	1162	Mar 9, 2005 by kismetstrand
	Need to get it off my chest (Preview) Hi Everyone, I needed to just sit here and type. In a way I hate message boards because I can't get an immediate answer. I want it and I want it now. Guess that goes with the whole problems I suffer from huh, lol. Anyway I am so confused.&nbs...	holly123	4	1316	Mar 9, 2005 by megan
	Defensiveness/Retaliation (Preview) Gosh, went to an alanon retreat. Some of it is still sinking in. A friend of mine tried to remind me when dealing with my A, "No defense, (defensiveness) No retaliation." I guess I think of it as take no offense, no need to retaliate.	wallsal55	4	1431	Mar 9, 2005 by nmike
	Looking for a sponsor (Preview) Hello Everyone, Let me tell you about myself, I have been in Al-anon for almost a year, I have made great strides and great slides in this program. I have been married to my a for almost 10 years and new him much more than that. I previously had a online sponsor b...	holly123	1	1138	Mar 9, 2005 by debilyn
	Emotionally Unavailable (Preview) I've worked the steps and discovered that I am emotionally immature and needy. I also discovered that I married a really decent man who is emotionally unavailable. (I'll pass on the hardware store theory have heard it plenty of times). What I need to know, is now what? I especially want to hear from any...	fineline	9	1117	Mar 9, 2005 by holly123
	Just a shell (Preview) Hi everyone. I haven't posted here very often but I do come and read to gain some insight with everyone's experiences. First off I just want to say thank you to everyone for sharing and for willing to listen to my vents. It's weird - there must be different stages with dealing with an A.&n...	dogscribe	8	1070	Mar 9, 2005 by richard
	My children (Preview) Hi, In another thread some one had asked me how Conner was, and how old he is now. Conner is now 15 months old, he is not walking, but he crawls and climbs faster than I can catch him. He is a little joy, laughing and smiling all of the time. He is so content, okay a little spoiled but Mom and Big Brothers...	Jeannie	6	1499	Mar 9, 2005 by richard
	A thought... thanks cdb... all... (Preview) At times, I say, “I wish I could get younger as I get older.” I say, I wish I could go back to younger years, only take with me what I know today. Only thing is though… if I took back what I know now… I would not do many, most of what I have done. However, if I did not do those things, done other things… I would not...	richard	1	1147	Mar 9, 2005 by cdb
	looking for a sponser (Preview) Hi all I am looking for a sponser who can help me begin working the steps and just lend a hand if I get off track, I really do not know to go about asking for one, so any input you can please give. Yes I am the lost puppy! LOL I need to find myself and I am not sure how since I have been not knowing me for so long, well,...	cloud	4	1428	Mar 9, 2005 by haximon
	"Live" and Let Live (Preview) I picked up my blue book "How Alanon Works for Family and Friends" and began to read about the slogans. Was pretty interesting how we study this slogan and really study the "Let Live" part very thoroughly, but we forget the "LIVE" part. The "LIVE" part is for US, and we have a right to a good l...	wallsal55	2	1202	Mar 9, 2005 by haximon
	almost slipped into old habbits (Preview) Lastnight all was going just fine and for once in such a long time I was headded to bed early, had a shower and getting ready for bed. When I got out of the shower I heard my daughter crying and since AH was home and not intoxicated I figured he would tend to daughters needs but no she continued to cry. So I quic...	jj	7	1205	Mar 9, 2005 by richard
	Am Making Amends so you all... (Preview) Hello Everyone, Part of my journey though alanon is to make amends. WEll, I need to explain about what I found to be a problem for me lately. I have chronic pain and at nite I take a pain pill called methadone which is very strong and also latey a sleeping pill called ambien. I know that my pa...	cdb	9	1465	Mar 9, 2005 by cdb
	Illiteracy and Recovery (Preview) I was just over reading the AA board and came upon a post that made me stop and think. To be honest, what this post mentioned had never crossed my mind. We refer people to books and pamphlets, the written word. Now here in chat or message board I think it is pretty safe to assume the person ca...	kismetstrand	4	1345	Mar 9, 2005 by richard
	Is our Webpage down? Anyone?? (Preview) Hey guys, is the page down tonight, Tuesday, March 8th?	Maria123	1	1050	Mar 8, 2005 by babs
	A share RE Resentment from the AA board (Preview) Deal with Resentment Now!!! Remember the HALT formula - when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, you are more likely to act out. When you are hungry, you can eat. When you are lonely you can seek company or make a phone call. When you are tired you can give yourself some rest. But what can you do when...	Phil	2	1249	Mar 8, 2005 by babs
	BUS MTG AGENDA (Preview)  GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING March 9, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST in the Al-Anon Chatroom   &n...	shimo	4	1274	Mar 8, 2005 by shimo
	Meeting Etiquette (Preview) I don't know if this is a recent upsurge of certain things happening, or if I just didn't notice it before. At any rate, since we have a lot of newcomers and others who are not able to attend face to face meetings, I just thought I would mention a few things. My humble opinion here. Take...	kismetstrand	20	7274	Mar 8, 2005 by Susanroo
	Thinking (more) (Preview) Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. --Jose Ortegay Gasset Where the mind is, there will be the heart; we become what we think about. If that idea doesn't halt you in your tracks, it should. Why? Our sense of self is totally reflective of our habitual thi...	wallsal55	5	1023	Mar 8, 2005 by dogscribe
	Did a lot of work on a reply... repeat here... (Preview) This detachment thing… hating the disease… loving the person inside… all beings of God deserves to be loved and are loved by God… God is in all and is all. A chronic drunk driver deserves to be loved… she or he deserves to be in prison for the protection of society and the drunk. A mate addicted to drugs lik...	richard	5	1235	Mar 8, 2005 by shimo
	jumping in with both feet (Preview) I have a phone sponsor, but I would really like to be able to IM via yahoo or MSN someone. I have chronic health problems and need to work the steps for that as much as my families alcohol problem. anybody willing, I have p[lenty of friends to chat with so I wouldn't be bugging you all the time, I j...	jrtjosey	4	1185	Mar 8, 2005 by cdb
	A work in progress (Preview) In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking t...	whitie	6	1034	Mar 8, 2005 by whitie
	Had to buy a lock today :( (Preview) Hello friends, My 20 year old alcoholic/drug addict daughter is still in the inpatient treatment center and probably will be some time still. It has been a month Wednesday that she was admited. We now owe $1,000 out of pocket which is good for most insurance companies but not good for my husband and m...	cdb	3	1133	Mar 7, 2005 by cdb
	step 3&4 explained (Preview) Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. There is a saying in the AlaTeen Twelve Step Program that says, “God Can’t do his work if you’re standing in His way.” Several years ago a popular song said, “If it don’t fit---don’t force it-...	jj	3	1544	Mar 7, 2005 by jj
	cdb (Preview) Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad. Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn	debilyn	4	1258	Mar 7, 2005 by cdb
	Anyone wanna read my poem (Preview) Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...	Ava	6	1665	Mar 7, 2005 by babs
	Thinking (Preview) "A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...	wallsal55	3	1329	Mar 7, 2005 by babs
	Funny, odd funny... / my cats... (Preview) …my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...	richard	5	1231	Mar 7, 2005 by mstrixe
	update to disease progression (Preview) I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward. A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed. I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...	debilyn	17	3085	Mar 7, 2005 by estrelladehope
	Quote for Today (Preview) "I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound by the light that I have. I must stand by anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln	wallsal55	0	938	Mar 7, 2005 by wallsal55
	Newbie here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!! Here is my story. My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...	Mamaklop	9	1442	Mar 7, 2005 by Mamaklop
	Taking things One Day at a Time (Preview) I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...	debalina36	6	1335	Mar 7, 2005 by megan
	expectations (Preview) I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...	cah	10	1441	Mar 7, 2005 by Jeannie
	No more Merri-go-round (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope this post finds everyone well. :) When my husband relapsed I had no choice but to stick to my word. I had told him that under no circumstances would the kids and I live with active drinking. We where aware that there could be slip ups, and we would keep quiet about that, but when he be...	Jeannie	9	1372	Mar 7, 2005 by megan
	Struggling with Resentments (Preview) Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight. I thought I...	she123	8	1476	Mar 7, 2005 by lildee
	what should I do? (Preview) My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...	cant stand it	12	1582	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Mr Mom the Mess (Preview) Hey all Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...	Mark S	7	1272	Mar 6, 2005 by Mark S
	A big article re: FEAR (Preview) Fear and focus by Chris Joosse Books to read: 'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...	Phil	3	1964	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	intervention & gratitiude (Preview) Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings. some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...	luv123	2	1030	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Some of My Favorities (Preview) Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy. If I Continue.... IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things, I will continue to think the way i have always thought. If i continue to think the way i have always thought, I will continue...	kerry5	5	1112	Mar 6, 2005 by cah
	funny little tid bit (Preview) So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...	jj	1	1188	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	boundary paper (Preview) This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...	Lucy_A	2	1475	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	People Pleasing (Preview) Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.	Phil	4	1539	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	When you feel unsupported.... (Preview) I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...	kerry5	9	1386	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	jj reminded me --/ my son.... (Preview) JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...	richard	4	1234	Mar 6, 2005 by lalarainbow
	Re: Meeting Etiquette Post (Preview) After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...	kismetstrand	3	1754	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	step 2 explained (Preview) Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...	jj	0	1073	Mar 5, 2005 by jj
	12 steps explained (Preview) this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...	jj	1	5296	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	DETACHMENT-REMINDERS (Preview) Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...	gardengal	5	1215	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	A share re ACOA Characteristics (Preview) 1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...	Phil	2	1254	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	Rules and traditions (Preview) I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...	Smeep61	5	1732	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	help (Preview) I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...	page	10	1397	Mar 5, 2005 by page
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...	Phil	3	1356	Mar 4, 2005 by Smeep61
	understanding the steps (Preview) has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ	jj	2	1372	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	Road of Self discovery (Preview) So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...	jj	4	1141	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	just a blab (Preview) I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...	debilyn	5	1214	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Rich and His family (Preview) I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...	esoro2004	4	1271	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Forgiveness (Preview) Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...	Phil	2	1139	Mar 4, 2005 by babs
	JOHN,,,,Emailed you/ need reply (Preview) Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb	cdb	4	1217	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
	OP/JOHN & ALL, A solution to the problem.. (Preview) Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...	cdb	7	1487	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.