Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jj · jj

So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...

Lucy_A · Lucy_A

This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...

Phil · Phil

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.

kerry5 · kerry5

I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...

richard · richard

JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...

jj · jj

Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...

jj · jj

this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...

Phil · Phil

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...

Smeep61 · Smeep61

I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...

page · page

I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...

Phil · Phil

Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...

jj · jj

has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ

jj · jj

So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...

debilyn · debilyn

I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...

esoro2004 · esoro2004

I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...

Phil · Phil

Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...

cdb · cdb

Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb

cdb · cdb

Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though) My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...

jj · jj

On a lighter note to cheer up some of us. Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....

greta · greta

I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...

debalina36 · debalina36

Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough. Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...

esoro2004 · esoro2004

My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...

Ignoring other members · cdb

Hello fellow members, We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...

lilleah · lilleah

My A called at 2:00 and wanted to stay and play cards with friends. i said no, but he did anyway. He Promised he would call if he'd be later than 3:30, but it is after 3:30, and nothing! I tried to call, but no answer. I don't know whether to be mad, or scared, or think he is with another girl. I am just sitting he...

Angel_23 · Angel_23

My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...

wille · wille

Hi all, I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma nice I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says to do. The "in my face" stuff. I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except it had to st...

gabriella · gabriella

Hi , I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...

Orchid · Orchid

I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...

kissers · kissers

I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...

babs · babs

To all: At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...

cdb · cdb

Hello alanon friends, First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not. Sometimes he...

babs · babs

Hello again, I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...

cant stand it · cant stand it

Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...

Ignoring other members · cdb

Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...

catherine · catherine

Your replies helped me very much. I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too. It s...

catherine · catherine

Just got over a week's visit with my A & we drank together. I really don't feel guilty about MY drinking as it calmed my nerves so I was able stay calm around his behaviour, but now I have to deal with my own alcoholism. I haven't had a drink since Saturday---two days sober, yet again.&...

John · John

http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=16

Maria123 · Maria123

I got an email from John asking for some assistance with the message board and thought "what do I have to offer?" Then I overslept this morning and missed by F2F and remembered the seed that John planted :) and thought well I can go the message board this morning for my "meeting." Tha...

autumnangel · autumnangel

Hi everyone. Well, tomorrow my husband is coming home for a visit for a couple of weeks and I'm really nervous about it tonight. I guess because while he was gone and things were so up in the air about our marriage, I really had to focus on ME and let go of everything else. Now that we've been ta...

babs · babs

I'm new. I've heard a sponser should be someone you like, someone who's done the steps & is, well, experienced, if I can say that? What's the job of a sponser, I don't quite get it.

debalina36 · debalina36

Well, the 3 day's of no drink ended today. He just bought a beer. Just one. He doesn't have any money and I won't give him any for beer. I noticed in my last posting of "last Night" that the last 2 people think I have a 2 year old daughter. Wrong. I only have a 12 year old stepdaughter and she doesn't live with...

marissa · marissa

well, i have a lot of unexpected time at home today, and i'm trying to keep busy. i am reading, painting,... i have not seen my ex "A" in 6 months, nor have we talked for one month. i have resisted calling, e-mailing, driving by,...(trying to think of these as esteemable acts). ...

babs · babs

Hi, thanks for your response to who a sponser should be! What did you mean about getting it in writing? Thanks to all who also respond, also.

wallsal55 · wallsal55

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails--Source Unknown. Hmmm....I always think of Detachment as that sort of friend...Thank God for that little pamphlet at Alanon meetings! www.coping.org/control/detach.htm :flowerpot...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I am having the hardest time doing the right things in my life these days. The pressure I am feeling about my husband is weighing on me like a brick. Somewhere down deep I believe that we are over - yet I continue with the relationship. Part of me feels disloyal to him because he...

Annie · Annie

Just a warm hello to everyone. No need to reply to this. I haven't been posting for awhile because I have had a crazy sinus infection and my ears have been blocked for several weeks now. I guess I can hear about 80% now. Dragging myself to work was a real chore. My A...

Ava · Ava

What a relief to find people who understand and who can offer hope and support. The last 18 months for me has been like riding a small boat in stormy seas. Over the last 18 months my A has had 3 jobs, 3 breakdowns, fallen out with all of his friends, been unemployed 3 times, bee...

debalina36 · debalina36

Hello - last night was pretty bad. I reacted to him. I fell back into my old habits and screamed back at him. I was actually trying to reason with my A, knowing full well my words were falling on deaf ears. I might as well talk to the wall. I knew that when he gets his unemployment check, he will drink and drink...

jj · jj

I am happy tonight i got to go to my first f2f meeting and I felt great after. My Sister in law went together and at first we were the only ones there... worried then another girl joined. It wasn't what i thought but it was good, great. My A came home and i just told him that i was going out, did'nt tell him where...

babs · babs

Hi, I just want to check with the interpretations of steps 1,2,3. Step 1: to realize I have lost control, can't manage anymore Step 2: to realize I need a help from a higher power in order to heal (family, friends, Al anon, God, etc.) Step 3: to realize I can only do my best & noth...

babs · babs

Hello, Thanks for reading. I'm new to this & was interested in the forum magazine. Any thoughts on this. I'm not much of a long reader, more of a short term reader. Also I like more facts, and suggestions, not so much as comparing stories for reading. Any advice...

jj · jj

So this week has been very good for me! I turned a very important corner this week by attending my first f2f. I would like to thank all of you for advising me to go I REALLY did need it! I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Doing more things for me and explaining to my A the way that I am feeling and wh...

cdb · cdb

I will wait for you for a half hour or more,,cdb

estrelladehope · estrelladehope

This is my first time to write something on this board but right now I am at a pretty low point in my life. I was married about 4 months ago to a man whom I only knew for about 4 months bf we got married - (got engaged 1 1/2 mo after seeing each other and then married 2 1/2 mo later). He had told me he wa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	funny little tid bit (Preview) So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...	jj	1	924	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	boundary paper (Preview) This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...	Lucy_A	2	1229	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	People Pleasing (Preview) Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.	Phil	4	1356	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	When you feel unsupported.... (Preview) I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...	kerry5	9	1104	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	jj reminded me --/ my son.... (Preview) JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...	richard	4	1014	Mar 6, 2005 by lalarainbow
	Re: Meeting Etiquette Post (Preview) After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...	kismetstrand	3	1435	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	step 2 explained (Preview) Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...	jj	0	838	Mar 5, 2005 by jj
	12 steps explained (Preview) this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...	jj	1	4800	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	DETACHMENT-REMINDERS (Preview) Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...	gardengal	5	907	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	A share re ACOA Characteristics (Preview) 1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...	Phil	2	1009	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	Rules and traditions (Preview) I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...	Smeep61	5	1486	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	help (Preview) I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...	page	10	1158	Mar 5, 2005 by page
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...	Phil	3	1113	Mar 4, 2005 by Smeep61
	understanding the steps (Preview) has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ	jj	2	1100	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	Road of Self discovery (Preview) So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...	jj	4	848	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	just a blab (Preview) I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...	debilyn	5	996	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Rich and His family (Preview) I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...	esoro2004	4	1017	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Forgiveness (Preview) Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...	Phil	2	890	Mar 4, 2005 by babs
	JOHN,,,,Emailed you/ need reply (Preview) Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb	cdb	4	1038	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
	OP/JOHN & ALL, A solution to the problem.. (Preview) Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...	cdb	7	1130	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
	Taking Others Inventory (Preview) There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...	kismetstrand	6	1335	Mar 4, 2005 by kismetstrand
	getting questions answered (Preview) Hi everyone- I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though) My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...	gknee	7	1255	Mar 3, 2005 by cah
	the things kids say (Preview) On a lighter note to cheer up some of us. Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....	jj	5	1050	Mar 3, 2005 by cah
	The Daffodil Principle (Preview) I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...	greta	8	1220	Mar 3, 2005 by gardengal
	Made a break through (Preview) Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough. Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...	debalina36	4	1042	Mar 3, 2005 by Mark S
	Rich and Recovery (Preview) My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...	esoro2004	4	1125	Mar 3, 2005 by Magichappens
	Ignoring other members (Preview) Hello fellow members, We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...	cdb	10	1303	Mar 2, 2005 by cdb
	is anyone here? I need help (Preview) My A called at 2:00 and wanted to stay and play cards with friends. i said no, but he did anyway. He Promised he would call if he'd be later than 3:30, but it is after 3:30, and nothing! I tried to call, but no answer. I don't know whether to be mad, or scared, or think he is with another girl. I am just sitting he...	lilleah	10	1356	Mar 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	Looking for some support (Preview) My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...	Angel_23	5	1289	Mar 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	the a (Preview) Hi all, I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma nice I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says to do. The "in my face" stuff. I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except it had to st...	wille	7	1104	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	there is hope!! (Preview) Hi , I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...	gabriella	5	1169	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	my spouse smokes pot;need advice asap!!! (Preview) I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...	Orchid	5	1261	Mar 2, 2005 by gknee
	Expectations Too High? (Preview) I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...	kissers	5	1039	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	Jellinek Charts (Preview) Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...	wallsal55	3	3288	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	thanks to all (Preview) To all: At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...	babs	3	1131	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	Prayers needed..please (Preview) Hello alanon friends, First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...	cdb	9	1152	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	Sometimes Help Doesn't Help (Preview) When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not. Sometimes he...	wallsal55	6	1187	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	how honest with the children? (Preview) Hello again, I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...	babs	8	1301	Mar 2, 2005 by lildee
	new 2 board (Preview) Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...	cant stand it	3	1097	Mar 1, 2005 by wallsal55
	Ignoring other members (Preview) Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...	cdb	0	1138	Mar 1, 2005 by cdb
	Thank you all :) (Preview) Your replies helped me very much. I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too. It s...	catherine	1	945	Mar 1, 2005 by cdb
	I'm a mess. (Preview) Just got over a week's visit with my A & we drank together. I really don't feel guilty about MY drinking as it calmed my nerves so I was able stay calm around his behaviour, but now I have to deal with my own alcoholism. I haven't had a drink since Saturday---two days sober, yet again.&...	catherine	4	1276	Mar 1, 2005 by TLC2
	Free Al-Anon Speaker Tapes (Preview) http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=16	John	0	3729	Mar 1, 2005 by John
	Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery (Preview) I got an email from John asking for some assistance with the message board and thought "what do I have to offer?" Then I overslept this morning and missed by F2F and remembered the seed that John planted :) and thought well I can go the message board this morning for my "meeting." Tha...	Maria123	5	1278	Feb 28, 2005 by wallsal55
	Nervous (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, tomorrow my husband is coming home for a visit for a couple of weeks and I'm really nervous about it tonight. I guess because while he was gone and things were so up in the air about our marriage, I really had to focus on ME and let go of everything else. Now that we've been ta...	autumnangel	14	1374	Feb 28, 2005 by wallsal55
	who should a sponser be? (Preview) I'm new. I've heard a sponser should be someone you like, someone who's done the steps & is, well, experienced, if I can say that? What's the job of a sponser, I don't quite get it.	babs	9	1429	Feb 28, 2005 by wallsal55
	3 day Sobriety ended (Preview) Well, the 3 day's of no drink ended today. He just bought a beer. Just one. He doesn't have any money and I won't give him any for beer. I noticed in my last posting of "last Night" that the last 2 people think I have a 2 year old daughter. Wrong. I only have a 12 year old stepdaughter and she doesn't live with...	debalina36	5	1304	Feb 28, 2005 by megan
	snow day (Preview) well, i have a lot of unexpected time at home today, and i'm trying to keep busy. i am reading, painting,... i have not seen my ex "A" in 6 months, nor have we talked for one month. i have resisted calling, e-mailing, driving by,...(trying to think of these as esteemable acts). ...	marissa	5	1348	Feb 28, 2005 by InnerChild
	haximon..... (Preview) Hi, thanks for your response to who a sponser should be! What did you mean about getting it in writing? Thanks to all who also respond, also.	babs	0	917	Feb 27, 2005 by babs
	Quote for Today/detachment (Preview) A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails--Source Unknown. Hmmm....I always think of Detachment as that sort of friend...Thank God for that little pamphlet at Alanon meetings! www.coping.org/control/detach.htm :flowerpot...	wallsal55	4	1312	Feb 27, 2005 by Ava
	Doing the Right Thing (Preview) I am having the hardest time doing the right things in my life these days. The pressure I am feeling about my husband is weighing on me like a brick. Somewhere down deep I believe that we are over - yet I continue with the relationship. Part of me feels disloyal to him because he...	AlaMom	6	1040	Feb 27, 2005 by sanddie
	Update (Preview) Just a warm hello to everyone. No need to reply to this. I haven't been posting for awhile because I have had a crazy sinus infection and my ears have been blocked for several weeks now. I guess I can hear about 80% now. Dragging myself to work was a real chore. My A...	Annie	4	1157	Feb 27, 2005 by Ava
	Stormy Seas (Preview) What a relief to find people who understand and who can offer hope and support. The last 18 months for me has been like riding a small boat in stormy seas. Over the last 18 months my A has had 3 jobs, 3 breakdowns, fallen out with all of his friends, been unemployed 3 times, bee...	Ava	7	997	Feb 27, 2005 by Ava
	Last night (Preview) Hello - last night was pretty bad. I reacted to him. I fell back into my old habits and screamed back at him. I was actually trying to reason with my A, knowing full well my words were falling on deaf ears. I might as well talk to the wall. I knew that when he gets his unemployment check, he will drink and drink...	debalina36	9	1378	Feb 27, 2005 by Doreanmsloan
	Finally... My first f2f meeting (Preview) I am happy tonight i got to go to my first f2f meeting and I felt great after. My Sister in law went together and at first we were the only ones there... worried then another girl joined. It wasn't what i thought but it was good, great. My A came home and i just told him that i was going out, did'nt tell him where...	jj	4	1164	Feb 27, 2005 by jj
	getting step 1,2,3 right? (Preview) Hi, I just want to check with the interpretations of steps 1,2,3. Step 1: to realize I have lost control, can't manage anymore Step 2: to realize I need a help from a higher power in order to heal (family, friends, Al anon, God, etc.) Step 3: to realize I can only do my best & noth...	babs	12	1932	Feb 26, 2005 by ginetteqofe
	which reading material? (Preview) Hello, Thanks for reading. I'm new to this & was interested in the forum magazine. Any thoughts on this. I'm not much of a long reader, more of a short term reader. Also I like more facts, and suggestions, not so much as comparing stories for reading. Any advice...	babs	5	3132	Feb 26, 2005 by babs
	Taking the steps to take me back (Preview) So this week has been very good for me! I turned a very important corner this week by attending my first f2f. I would like to thank all of you for advising me to go I REALLY did need it! I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Doing more things for me and explaining to my A the way that I am feeling and wh...	jj	3	919	Feb 26, 2005 by Annie
	lilleah,,,,,come to chatroom,,, (Preview) I will wait for you for a half hour or more,,cdb	cdb	1	1403	Feb 26, 2005 by wille
	divorce vs. living with an A (Preview) This is my first time to write something on this board but right now I am at a pretty low point in my life. I was married about 4 months ago to a man whom I only knew for about 4 months bf we got married - (got engaged 1 1/2 mo after seeing each other and then married 2 1/2 mo later). He had told me he wa...	estrelladehope	10	1609	Feb 26, 2005 by sanddie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.