The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At times, I say, “I wish I could get younger as I get older.” I say, I wish I could go back to younger years, only take with me what I know today. Only thing is though… if I took back what I know now… I would not do many, most of what I have done. However, if I did not do those things, done other things… I would not know what I know now to take back with me. Forgiveness… when we come to learn there are no sins, nothing to forgive… just God acting… evolving… is too! then… a beginning.
This maimed body, this 100s of years packed into this 59 of age body and mind, this overly structured mind, such a long way to my heart… I am tired… tired of only being able to sleep for an hour or two at a time, so scared of people still… even if I say I am loving them more of late… fear ain’t Love… Love does not hurt... does not! The struggle… when will I learn not to struggle… Love! Good night… for an hour or so. I like sleep! I used to have such bad night sweats… not so for long time… I am really getting to like sleep. Is life sleep or is heaven sleep?
You sure have had alot of intense struggles and life lessons over the years crammed into such a young body as 59 is. I relate to your health problems as you well know. I have had the night and day sweats and I hate them. I have had them for the past 10 years since first getting ill. Our bodies sure fight pain the best way they know how. I am so glad we both have this site to post and reply to. My body is 49, so not that much younger than yours :). I am sending you healing thoughts and wishes of better health for today and your tomorrows. Your friend in recovery,,cdb :)
